DINO’S 2011 RATE THE MOVIES LIST
The following is my list for the best, worst, and not-a-chance-in-hell of 2011. I have a more comprehensive list which includes every single movie of 2011 and how I rated them from 1 to 10, but I figured I would spare everyone the agony of having to scroll down and down and down, and just sort of sum it up with the most interesting picks. If you WOULD like to see the big list, just email me.
TOP TEN WORST
There are a LOT of bad movies every year, but I manage to cleverly avoid most of them. This list is narrowed down to those that I have actually been foolish enough to sit through.
10. 30 MINUTES OR LESS – I read the script and really liked it, so I was all the more disappointed when I saw the film. It’s strange, because the cast sounds like a great combination of talented and hilarious actors – Jesse Eisenberg, Aziz Ansari, Danny McBride – plus the director of Zombieland – but it just felt like they rushed through it as fast as possible and said fuck-it to the funny. 9. GREEN LANTERN – Who’s the asshole that thought a wisecracking Ryan Reynolds would make a good superhero? And who allowed this script to go into production without extensive rewrites? It just felt like it wasn’t taken seriously enough. 8. FINAL DESTINATION 5 – I really dig the first two Final Destinations, not because they have good scripts or acting (which they don’t) but because the deaths were so cleverly executed. That’s why you went to see these films – for the nail-biting deaths! Final Destination 5 had nothing new to add except (maybe) the girl on the balance beam. If you’re going to do another one, bring the clever back! 7. IN TIME – Cliché-ridden dialogue. Boring as hell. Amanda Seyfried was just going through the motions (or maybe that’s
An early sign that this film was made by people who didn’t care about it is the fact that it’s called “Shark Night” but takes place entirely in the daytime. 5. 4.
. Justin Timberlake was…there. If you want us to care about who lives and who dies. 2. and the other half is Shia Labeouf’s annoying face and voice.actually her acting style?) Cillian Murphy was bland. 6. I so wanted there to be lots of shark action. It’s just a handful of prettier-than-you characters trying not to be killed by invisible alien orbs. It’s a shameful mess. Stop making these movies! 1. Why did I see this again? 3. TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON – Half of the movie is a bunch of CGI on the screen that I can’t make out and can’t tell what’s going on. TOP TEN BEST
The list is ascending in order. SHARK NIGHT 3D – I so wanted this to be fun. FAST FIVE – I couldn’t even get through the first act of this movie. I woke up literally 45 minutes later…and the battle was still going!!! I can’t believe that Spielberg has publicly urged Michael Bay to do a fourth one. Right around the beginning of the huge final battle sequence. give us some interesting people to watch. DRIVE ANGRY – I drove home angry. with the film at the bottom being my favorite for the year. It’s not. There isn’t. A terrible execution of an intriguing premise. I fell asleep. THE DARKEST HOUR – There is actually zero character development in this film. It’s like David Gordon Green went out of his way to remove all the clever wit from the page and make the movie as dumb as possible. YOUR HIGHNESS – Here’s another script I read and liked before I saw the film.
I mean. Another shocker that this didn’t make it into the Best Picture nominations. It’s rare that a summer popcorn movie can be smart. Yay Kristen Wiig! 9. TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY – If you hunker down and pay attention to everything. 5. BRIDESMAIDS – I didn’t expect to love this as much as I did. great songs (except that Chris Cooper rap). 4. and deserves all the accolades it’s been getting. but I did during this one. and it all rang true. Pitt and Hill gave great performances. To make a silent film in this day and age and make it accessible and easy to watch is a great achievement. 3. A great performance by Levitt. 6. The script rang true. nail-biting. Do more live action please! 8. worthy of its predecessor. dizzying. and lots and lots of muppets! I can’t wait to see it again.
. I look forward to seeing this again to catch any subtle nods or meaningful looks I missed the first time. 50/50 – It’s not often I tear up during a film. I am simply shocked it didn’t receive a Best Picture nod. smart. dazzling. RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES – A well-executed premise. has a perfect ensemble cast.10. I was sucked right into the story and loved every minute of it. THE ARTIST – It’s hard to believe that anyone in the world could not like this film. did you? No one did! It’s wonderfully written. THE MUPPETS – This is exactly what I wanted from a Muppet movie – looney fun. you will be rewarded in spades by the end of the film. exciting. MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – GHOST PROTOCOL – This is the ultimate popcorn movie – fun. with amazing special effects. Brad Bird rocks. MONEYBALL – Even though I could give two shits about baseball. 7.
Riveting and shocking. TOP 7 DOCUMENTARIES
I usually only include 5. but this year had so many good documentaries that I had to add two more to the list. Go Woody! 1. For me. This love letter to cinema (but that’s not all it is!) is a remarkable achievement by a brilliant director. it might not really be deserving of the Best Picture statue. INTO THE ABYSS – Werner Herzog knocks it out of the park once again with this mostly-talking-heads exploration of what it’s like to be on death row. I don’t want to ruin the surprise of the premise. That’s rare for anyone. 6. 4. it deserves the Best Picture win by leaps and bounds.
. but the fact that it will most likely win is just fine with me. HUGO – I walked out of this movie feeling truly happy about life and the world. this documentary will satisfy your curiosity with laugh-out-loud humor and. It’s a movie that will endure. 5. This contains some of the most realistic war footage I have ever seen. but this was something just a little extra special. 2. some universal poignancy. MIDNIGHT IN PARIS – I already love Woody Allen. ARMADILLO – A group of Danish soldiers try to survive in a dangerous province of Afghanistan. BEING ELMO: A PUPPETEER’S JOURNEY – The heartwarming story of the man behind the voice of Elmo.
7. believe it or not.Sure. EXPORTING RAYMOND – If you’ve ever wondering what would happen if some Russians made their own version of Everybody Loves Raymond for their local TV stations. I’m so happy it got a Best Picture nod. I would think. but it was a pure delight when it started happening.
/E. 2. heart-breaking tale. but this in-depth documentary about the life and death of racing legend Ayrton Senna and his chief rival was engaging from beginning to end. It is guaranteed to make you emotional. THE INTERRUPTERS – A year in the life of a city grappling with urban violence. 1.3.
. SENNA – I know next to nothing about Formula One racing. PROJECT NIM – After seeing this heart-wrenching doc. inspiring. you’ll wonder why Rise of the Planet of the Apes hasn’t already happened for real. hopeful and hopeless at the same time. Here are the movies I refused to see. FILMS I REFUSED TO SEE
This list gets bigger and bigger every year as my time becomes more and more valuable to me. broken down into categories. The Interrupters is a harshly realistic.
FILMS I HEARD WERE TERRIBLE SO I DIDN’T BOTHER ABDUCTION APOLLO 18 DYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT IMMORTALS PRIEST SANCTUM SUCKER PUNCH THE CHANGE-UP THE DILEMMA THE SITTER THE THREE MUSKATEERS WATER FOR ELEPHANTS W.
NONDESCRIPT TITLES FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS JUST GO WITH IT NO STRINGS ATTACHED SOMETHING BORROWED WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER? TWILIGHT-INSPIRED TEEN-ANGST FANTASY FILMS THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 BEASTLY I AM NUMBER FOUR
.UNNECESSARY REMAKES – FOR SHAME! ARTHUR CONAN THE BARBARIAN FOOTLOOSE STRAW DOGS THE SMURFS SEQUELS WE DIDN’T NEED IN THIS LIFE A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER. LIKE SON CARS 2 JOHNNY ENGLISH REBORN THE HANGOVER PART III THE LATEST TRASH FROM ADAM SANDLER’S COMPANY BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A STAR JACK AND JILL RUN-OF-THE-MILL ROMANTIC COMEDIES BLAND.
POPPER’S PENGUINS WE BOUGHT A ZOO ZOOKEEPER THE STAR OF THE MOVIE. A CHILD.RED RIDING HOOD FILMS INVOLVING PEOPLE HAVING TO DEAL WITH AND/OR TALK TO CUTE ANIMALS DOLPHIN TALE MR. ANNOYS ME IN THE TRAILER EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE JUSTIN BEIBER: NEVER SAY NEVER