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10-Noon

Old Settlers Rec

Protagonist Antagonist Objective Obstacles

Princess Water Elf Fire Elf Fire Prince Fireball, Evil Fairy, Captured by dwarves FRANCIS, FLORA MINION 2, DWARF 1, DWARF 4, DWARF 5, GUARDIAN MIM,

Water Princesses:

ELEANOR, LYDIA, FAIRY BOSS, MINION 1, DWARF 2, DWARF 3, GUARDIAN MUM,

FIREBALL FARMER 1, FIREBALL FARMER 2, KEY HOLDER

NARR:

Once upon a time there lives a group of princess sisters in an underwater kingdom. Their names were… Princess Eleanor Princess Lydia Princess Francis Princess Flora E. L. F. F. Collectively, they had the nickname ELF, these water princesses. And what they wanted most in the whole world was… The Fire Prince. Yep, a Fire Prince. A Fire Prince of their own… A Fire Prince. Dreamy. The thing that kept the ELF water princesses from getting their Fire Prince was a simple matter of knowing where to get a Fire Prince. Where oh where can we get a Fire Prince? And just when things seemed lowest, when things seemed desperate beyond all measure, when the storm clouds seemed darkest… well, you get the idea… at that point, the ELF princesses hatched an idea… Let’s ask the Fairy Boss. In the whole kingdom, if you wanted to find something, you’d need to ask the once person who knew the answers… the Fairy Boss.

ELE: LYDIA: FRANCIS: FLORA: NARR:

PRINCESSES: NARR: PRINCESSES: NARR:

PRINCESSES: NARR:

PRINCESSES: NARR:

(enter the Fairy Boss, a mafia type, with 2 minions) ELE: Fairy Boss, we were… 1

MINION 1: MINION 2: LYDIA: MINION 1: FRANCES: MINION 1: FLORA: MINION 2: PRINCESSES:

Wait, hold up there, lady. You don’t talk to the Fairy Boss until you are talked to. But we would like… Hey, what did we just say? But it is important! (holding up hand) Nuh… Seriously… (holding up finger) Nuh uh… Come on.

(Fairy Boss holds up hands) FAIRY BOSS: MINION 1: MINION 2: ELE: LYDIA: FRANCES: FLORA: FAIRY BOSS: You come to me to ask a favor? You’re too close. Back up. We are trying to find the Fire Prince. Can you help us? Please. Pretty please. You expect me to help you? How many times have you had me over to the palace for dinner? Now you want a favor? Well… yes! You’ll have to head through Dwarf Country. And the Fireball Field! Dangerous. Very dangerous. Thanks. Let’s go.

PRINCESSES: FAIRY BOSS: MINION 1: MINION 2: PRINCESSES: (They go. Beat.) FAIRY BOSS:

You guys wanna get a pizza? 2

MINIONS: (everyone exits) NARR:

Pizza!

So the princesses set off to find the Fire Prince. First stop… Dwarf Country.

(Enter the Dwarves) DWARF 1: DWARVES: So this guy says, hey, why don’t you stand up? I said… I am standing.

(DWARVEs all laugh) DWARF 2: DWARF 3: DWARF 4: DWARF 5: DWARF 3: DWARF 1: DWARF 3: DWARF 2: DWARF 4: DWARF 5: DWARF 3: NARR: It gets better every time you tell it. You know what? What? You’re hungry? Nope. You’re sleepy? Nope Bashful? Grumpy? Sneezy? Nope. I’m bored? And in Dwarf Country, there is nothing so troublesome as a bunch of bored dwarves. Let me tell you, that is trouble waiting to happen. Just then the princesses arrived… Where are we? I think this is Dwarf Country. How can you tell? Are we really short, or are these guys really tall for dwarves? Who are you? 3

ELE: LYDIA: FRANCES: FLORA: DWARF 1:

DWARF 2: DWARF 3: ELE: DWARF 4: LYDIA: DWARF 5: FRANCIS: DWARF 1: DWARVES: PRINCESSES:

And why are you trespassing? Dwarf Country is off limits to thru traffic! We’re trying to get to the Fireball Field. The fireball Field!? Across it actually. Oh, well, why didn’t you say so… So, you dwarves will help us. Nope. We’re taking you captive. Captives of the dwarves! Oh no!

(They march off.) NARR: Oh yes. The dwarves held the Princesses captives for thirty long years, forcing them to cook them hot pockets and perform puppet shows and play backgammon with them. In fact, the Princesses were captive so long that they forget what they were after in the first place, until one day.

(Princesses enter) ELE: LYDIA: FRANCIS: FLORA: PRINCESSES: NARR: Didn’t we have a mission before? That’s right. Back in our youth. We were looking for something. On the other side of the Fireball Field… The Fire Prince! They immediately stopped what they were doing and, old as they now were, they ventured out of dwarf kingdom, deep into the dreaded Fireball Field.

(As the Princesses exit, the dwarves enter. They look sad) DWARF 1: DWARF 2: DWARF 3: I’m going to miss them. Me too. And they left without even saying good bye. 4

DWARF 4: DWARF 5:

We could have made them a cake for the road. And you make such good cakes…

(they wave, then exit). NARR: FARMER 1: FARMER 2: PRINCESSES: FARMER 1: FARMER 2: FARMER 1: FARMER 2: FARMER 1: PRINCESSES: FARMERS: FRAMER 2: NARR: Meanwhile in the Fireball Field, the Princesses came upon some very unusual farmers. Hey, old ladies, you shouldn’t be out here. Yeah, we’re harvesting fireballs out here. Fireballs?! Yep. Good crop this year, too. Nice and hot. But it isn’t safe just to be wondering around out here. You might step on a fireball. And ruin the crop. And burn our feet. And that too. Burn ‘em right off. The Princesses explained their adventure to find the Fire Prince and and the farmers, very carefully, lead the through the Fireball Field. They were very close. Finally, the princesses came to a large castle-like structure with a big garage door in front. They were met by two Guards. Halt! Who goes there. the Water Princesses! Oh, well, lah tee dah. Look Mum, we are in the presence of royalty. Yes we are. I feel I should have worn my good shirt. We want to get in to where the Fire Prince is. Hear that, Mum. They wanna waltz right in. Sense of entitlement, my friend Mim. Pure and simple. And how. 5

MUM: PRINCESSES: MIM: MUM: PRINCESSES: MIM: MUM: MIM:

LYDIA: FRANCIS: FLORA: ELE: MUM: MIM: PRINCESSES: MUM: NARR: KH1: KH2: NRR: KH1: KH2: NARR: FLORA: NARR;

Please, it has taken us many years to get here. And a vast distance. And we are so close. Please. You’ll need a key. And only the Key Holders have the Keys. And where can we find the Key Holders? Ought to be along anytime. They head this way ion their lunch break everyday. And sure enough, the Key Holders wandered along. The Princesses explained their plight. Yeah, we can help. Just have to find the right key. The key holders had millions of keys. That one. You’re crazy. It’s this one. They looked and looked. One key fell on the ground and Princesses Flora picked it up. How about this one? And sure enough, it was the one to open the giant castle garage door.

KEY HOLDERS: Good luck. MUM & MIM: Be a credit to your social class! NARR: The Princesses entered the castle and they came face to face with that which they had been searching for so long… the Fire Prince. Actually, four Fire Princes. These are awesome! Four sparkling, vintage, and very rare Fire Prince 7000 gleamed before them. The Princesses climbed on. Let’s ride! And they rode off into the sunset, each atop a legendary machine, each atop a Fire Prince 7000. And all was right in the world once more. The end. 6

PRINCESSES: NARR:

PRINCESSES: NARR: