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Table of Contents
Article: “MADE IN…”...……………………………...Page 3 Article: “How I got rabies”...………………..……...Page 4 Interview: Marc Johnson ....…...…….………………….Page 5 Article: “Top 10 Afterlife Jobs”...…………..……....Page 8 Randoms ...…………..…….…………….…Page 9 Movie Review: The Wicker Man ...…………..………...….Page 10 SKATEBOARDUMB
Skateboardumb is a small ghetto skateboard zine with articles, reviews and more. If you are interested in making it grow or contributing articles, write to us or send us an email. If you have feedback, send that as well. DROPOUT DISTRIBUTION – SKATEBOARDUMB PO BOX 5665 LAS VEGAS, NEW MEXICO 87701
MADE IN ….
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ALIEN WORKSHOP: price point-Canada (premium), team/pro-American (ps stix) ALMOST: china (dwindle) ANTI HERO: American (generator) ATM: American BAKER: American (bareback) BIRDHOUSE: team-Canada pro-American (ps stix) BLIND: China (dwindle) BLACK LABEL: price point-china, team and pro-American (ps stix) BLUEPRINT: American (ps stix) BUENO: American (ps stix) CHOCOLATE: china (crailtap) CONSOLIDATED: china CREATURE: American (ps stix) CRIMSON: American (prime) CITY: American (bareback) DGK: American (kayo) ELEMENT: pricepoint/team-china, pro model-American ENJOI: china (dwindle) EXPEDITION 1: American (kayo) 5BORO: American (chapman) FLIP: team-Canada pro-American (ps stix) FOUNDATION: American (watson) GIRL: China (crailtap) HABITAT: pricepoint-Canada (premium) team/pro-American (ps stix) KROOKED: American (generator) MYSTERY: Mexico (black box) MINI LOGO: American (skate one) ORGANIKA: American (kayo) POWELL: American (skate one) REAL: American (generator) SANTA CRUZ: American SKATE METAL: china (crailtap) SHUT: American (chapman) STEREO: American TOY MACHINE: American (watson) TRAFFIC: American WORLD INDUSTRIES: china (dwindle) ZOO YORK: American (chapman) ZERO: Mexican (black box)
How I got rabies By: Kyle Farmer, NY Date: 12-12-2007 Well, my dog was freaking out and there was a shit load of snow on the ground. I was like, what in that hell is her problem. Then I looked in the hole and I thought it was a beaver so I was like. On Snap, pushed my dog out of the way and it bit me in the dam thumb. Took me to the ground and I was crying because it hurt so bad (yeah right..) So I was like that is it you little fucker. Went up in my room and grabbed my .22 cal and went back out. Grabbed my dog and pulled her back told her to stay and she did. Put the gun in the hole and shot. Out came a muskrat and died instantly. Why it bit me I don't know, that lead me to assume it had rabies. Got it tested and sure enough, even though there is like a 5% chance they could get it. Now I'm infected and have to get shots in my stomach and my ass. So after I was bitten by this muskrat I had to wait 10 days to see if I had any side affects. Then it was off to the ER to get what was two shots. The nurse came in (was smoking gorgeous, blonde hair, blue eyes.) and I know I wouldn't want anyone else to see my behind. So she closed the curtain and told me to take my pants off so I did, I was standing there in front of her with my john out and she then told me that I could have just laid on the bed and pulled my underwear down. I felt like a moron but the fact is, she was so hot I didn't think much of it. So she shoots me with one needle in my arm and then tells me I'm going to need four shots in my ass. I was like what, I thought I was only getting two? She said I know but it's better not to give the shot in one needle and to break it up. So I was like okay, the needles were so big, almost 5 inches and then I got the first one. I tried not to flex my ass but I couldn't help it because those things hurt so bad. I felt like a moron because she was trying to hold my ass down so I couldn't flex it but apparently my ass checks have a strong flex. So after that I had to lay on the bed for 15 minutes and she sat and watch me. She left the room and came back in and I noticed. She was married with the ring on her finger, kind of sucks because I would have asked her out. She asked me if I had any symptoms and if I needed anything. I told her my ass hurts and I would like an icepack. She laughed and then I left the ER that night. I have to get 5 more sets of these so figure 4 x 5 is about 20 shots.
MARC JOHNSON Interview: Burnett | Photo: Reda Source: http://www.thrashermagazine.com
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“LAKAI: FULLY FLARED”
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There's a good quote that says something like, "Sometimes skating involves not skating." How does your off-board time balance your skate time? Doing other things aside from skateboarding helps me work out my problems. You could say that much of what I do away from skateboarding has a meditative quality to it. I can work on a project and think of two things at once: the project, and then something else. I usually mull things over when I have time away from everyone and everything related to skateboarding, and shift my focus onto something personal. It does create a much-needed balance for me, because I'm not the kind of person who wants to live in 24-7 SkateWorld. I end up hating things because they become so routine and mundane. Much of what I see in skateboarding is completely routine and mundane, so I stay away from it. Half the time I have no idea where my skateboard is, even if riding one is on my mind. Is skating a release or escape from your non-skate life or are you always contemplating skateboarding even when you're on the couch? Riding a skateboard is more of what I'd call an outlet. Not a release or an escape. I have so many ideas running around in my mind all of the time that I have to always be doing something or I become very, what you might call, “volatile.” I'm almost constantly thinking of new tricks and where I might be able to do something that I've been thinking about. How does your living semi-isolated in the mountains affect your skating? Your well being? Living in the woods mostly by myself gives me the space to think. To actually think, not to just act on autopilot. There's a difference. Most people can't stand being alone because it scares them. You have no distractions when you're isolated, so you're forced to confront yourself and deal with who and what you really are. Most people don't like themselves very much, so they surround themselves with constant distractions so they aren't forced to focus on how fucked and distorted they are. Truth comes from within, but to find it, you gotta clean out all the scary shit you piled in the broom closet of your mind. This is a very hard thing for a person to do. As far as my skating goes, living away from skateboarding helps me think about it from a truly personal perspective, not from the perspective of being involved with what other people are doing. Where does your inspiration come from? I've wondered about that. This is going to sound bizarre to most people, but ALL inspiration comes from something similar to the way a radio works. If you imagine that everything ever known or will be known exists between the lowest and the highest frequencies, we simply either stumble upon a brilliant song accidentally, or we spend our lives searching for great songs and find them where we may. Invention works like that. I think Tesla said something to that effect: We are simply filters for Divine Knowledge. Are the new kids inspirational or depressing? Neither, really. Talent is always there. Imagination is what skateboarding sorely lacks. How much of your inspiration comes from other people? Absolutely quite a lot of it. I've gone and done some tricks for the Lakai video that are dedicated to certain guys who did tricks at certain times that really opened my eyes to the way a skateboard should be dealt with. Do you ever have problems getting inspired? There are always those occasional times of complete boredom and disgust. That usually depends on the situation and the surroundings. I've been known to stir some shit up just to entertain myself. Complete childishness. Phone calls. I once sat out on my deck for a few hours trying to talk like Peter O'Toole in The Ruling Class because I was bored. I usually doodle on scrap pieces of paper. How much of your progression on a skateboard is terrain dependent? I try not to think in linear terms anymore—or even quantifiable terms regarding skating—so most of what interests me actually is the terrain and what can be done with it. I've definitely been caught staring off into space a few times while thinking about a spot.
How do you find all those spots? They find me, it seems. What is the mental vs physical breakdown of your skating? I try to think about things for awhile. Sometimes it works, sometimes it turns into work. Does your progression depend at all on what you see other people do? Not anymore, really. What are some big milestones of your progression? Opening my front door after a long trip. Describe any "Eureka!" moments you've had. Here's one: Passed out in the Radass van on the Girl/Chocolate tour, somewhere, God knows where, coming out of this weird semi-waking Oban stupor, and screaming, "Someone give me a fucking Sharpie!" This weird idea came to me and I needed to draw it out right then and there. This odd sense of urgency and desperation. I drew this thing on a paper bag and wrote down a bunch of tricks to try on it if I ever saw it or built it. If you get inspired to skate a certain way, how concerned are you with its popularity or acceptability within the skate world? I thought skating was popular and acceptable in the skate world. Maybe I didn't get that press release. What are the biggest impediments to your progression? Confined spaces and/or straight lines. Are booze and women truly man's ruin? Was there ever a time when you felt completely powerless to their allure? Ignorance is man's ruin. Booze and women can sometimes be by-products of that ignorance. There were different times in my life that I was drawn to both in an uncontrollable way. I didn't understand why at the time, but it had something to do with substitution. Disconnectedness. Why is Morrissey big in the Mexican-American community? Really? Interesting. I have no idea. What are some misconceptions about you, if any? A misconception about me is none of my business. How important is being part of the team in your life? Chocolate team? Lakai team? We're pretty scattered around, but I love seeing those guys any chance I get. We've got some amazing personalities on those teams, some really good people to work with. I think it's probably the most important thing regarding skateboarding in my life—when we have to get together to work on something, it's the best group of people to work with. I've seriously grown to love and respect those guys and all the good that comes from working with them. What about a skate scene— a group of friends or a business/social community? I'm sort of long-distance on that one. I do what I can when I can. What does a project like the Lakai video mean to you? This has been the most difficult thing I've ever worked on, by far. But it's also the most rewarding thing I've ever worked on. There aren't really words for this. I'm happy to be in this one with all these guys. Wow. How men suffer for children. What goes through your mind when you're 45 minutes into filming a trick? Usually something along the lines of, "You fucking whore. You fucking piece of shit." It usually involves the word whore. And then I get really quiet afterward and just revel in the anguish and keep trying. What's the best way to avoid something or someone you do not want to deal with? Take a four-month walk into the woods. How do you deal with confrontation? I walk away. Is psychology real? Do the ideas and rules of psychology inform your awareness? I guess there have been some ideas that have been valid. I don't have anything to do with psychology. To me, psychology is like picking up grains of sand at the beach with tweezers and a magnifying glass, and forgetting to look at the ocean.
If you could replace skateboarding with anything, what would it be? If you could, WOULD you? What, if anything, is missing in your life? Communication? Why do people tattoo their own names on themselves? Family name pride, most likely. Could be Narcissism. Narcissus tried to kiss his own reflection in a pool and then killed himself with a sword because he couldn't seduce himself. Weird. If you were to tattoo anything across your back, what would it be? It would say SCAPULAS. Your skateboarding is extremely precise, yet I get the sense that the rest of your life might occasionally be a little scattershot. If this it true, how is it to have one side of your life be so organized and the other so disorganized? Why is this? I aim to please. What's the most important part of your skateboard and why? Bushings are the most important part of the board. If you can't turn, you can't skate. Do you ever entertain revenge fantasies? I think everyone has had some sort of revenge situation they imagine, but no, I don't entertain those. People need to be careful about what they concentrate on. What or whom is your biggest enemy? Insomnia, it seems lately. What's your definition of success? Doing what you want to do in this life. No rules, some coin, and a good woman to love. What's your definition of failure? Thinking that you have a say in what other people do in life. What's your idea of misery? Sleep deprivation. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. What are your most prized possessions? The thoughts and actions that have made someone's life better in any way. What are some things worth getting pissed off about? Whatever it is, give it five years. If you're still pissed, it was either worth it or you've got serious fucking issues. Can any amount of advice help the kids, or do they just have to figure it out for themselves? Don't look outside of yourself to find what is inside of yourself. In dumbo internet language it means: Stop copying what other people do, how they dress, and how they live. If you spend your life being someone else, you'll miss out on being you. Describe the universe as you see it. Oh shit. That's a really gnarly one. There's the Central Universe, and seven circuits of that Universe that are what are referred to as Local Universes. The scope of the functions and purposes of each and the whole is enormous. I will just say that one of the functions of our universe, one of the seven circuits, is primarily for what we know as “life.” We function as energy/consciousness on multiple levels of this universe simultaneously. We are here in slowed-down 'solid matter' density, and we also exist in higher energy frequency wavelengths at the same time, experiencing outside of time/space. You may understand this as different levels of dreams, where you can re-connect with yourself in another form you don't readily recognize, but feel a very strange familiarity with, and a desire to be with that form at all times because of the content of the dream. Regardless, the universe is infinite in space because space is just one aspect of density, whereas there are infinite other aspects of density that are not confined to three dimensions. The purpose of “life” in three dimensions is simply to experience, teach/learn, and evolve onto higher aspects of self. The ultimate goal is returning to the source after many and different experiences in higher dimensional realities, mostly in the service of others as others higher in reality have helped you on your way upward. That's the universe. And there's a lot of other planets and stars and strange stuff out there too that we haven't been able to fly to and check out. Maybe one day. Turn on some Tom Waits and go skate. Step right up.
TOP 10 AFTER LIFE JOBS
By: Nate Sherwood The after life top ten Jobs for pro skaters after being pro skaters. There is only a few who can hold down the block for there entire life and not have to find another field or hustle to make money at. 1. Buy Stocks Ask Rob Drydeck , not only did he have major holdings in DC when it sold to Quick that helped him profit but he has made a fortune off of investing into small upstarts and selling when it is hi and buy when it is low. He as well makes money off of the number 2 on our list with his hit TV show rob and big and his film ? Eric what is the title I forgot skate dreams? I will call him when we get close to print. 2. Become an actor As I say above With Rob, as well as Jason Lee Steve Berra Spike Jones pepe martiniz Rest in peace Justin Pearce rest in peace as well and The licks as well as Danny Gonzales have all gone this route it is not for the faint of heart you have to get good at dealing with rejection and studying Scripts that are thicker than the yellow pages day in and day out and being shot down from egotistical casting directors on the daily grind of additions. 3. Start a skate company Ask Mullen, Gonz ,Howard , Lucero, Pierre Andre , or any of the other countless current and retired pros that have took this step. Do not think it is a gravy train though even if you are a legend like Lance Mountain things can go south of haven fast. the world of Business is cut throat as it gets filled with pie graphs and dropping more coin than most 3rd world country’s spend on roads and infrastructure in a year on ad campaigns, not to mention prim Dona pros who milk you for 4 grand a month and if you are lucky get one video part out of them a year due to the bust factor footage being leaked on the web and the piles of bills for contest entry fees and bashed up hotel room s. . so you are looking at 48 grand for one guy to drop one amazing video part not to mention the cost of marketing it editing the DVD and paying filmers who are scattered from Sri Lanka to Long beach. 4. Trucking Buy a Peter built and go to work. Just ask Wade Spayer. It is an easy transition from skating to long haul trucking with both you are predominately on the road in both you have dead lines to meet. You both have to trouble shoot problems for instance when to put on chains or when to tighten up your trucks and both come with a dispensation that can be alone. Hauling ruble and dealing with breaking down on the open road is mellow after breaking your body trying to krooked grind a 11 stair rail. 5. School Go back To school. That is right get ready to be 28 years old stuck in a class room full of 18 year old kids who were not born yet when Billy Ruff was ripping. Get ready for stacks of home work and paper cuts and being graded o everything you do. Ask Ocean Howell or Chad Knight about how often you get to skate after you are breaking your dome with school work, no front side grinds today at the local park time to write that paper on the rise and fall of the roman empire. Even when you get your degree you do not have a sure thing with more large business going over seas and less opportunity due to over population you will have fun getting out of school and into the rat race with the other 50 thousand graduates that are going for the same job. 6. Start/join a band Ask Mario Rubbbbaaaillla The faint Ronnie Bertino or Kristin Sveteck, or ray Barbie Tommy Gurruro or skate master Tate, you get to still vent your creative energy into something positive and you still get to travel and see different spots to skate. 7. Start a skate shop This can be torture for a recovering pro almost as bad as a Alcoholic starting up a bar. 8 hours a day of skate video, playing kids coming in and asking you how hi you can Ollie or if you can do a hard flip, taking grip off old boards to re grip them and to top it off you never will have time to skate. It is wise to go in with another skater or wife to help run the show just ask my boy Willy Santos who has a street wise business wise wife Shellie who runs the books and shop for Willy when he takes 5 hour skate breaks over the duration of the day. If you go in on it solo you might have to surrender the board to the closet till you can fully staff your operation. 8. Start a t-shirt company Start a tee shirt company get a silk screen and buy shirts in bulk and find a dark basement and get a fallowing threw the web in no time you will be rolling , ask bob k from crown farmer clothing for more info. 9. Become a team manager This is a dream job for every ex pro skater but the problem that there is only 31 company’s that can afford to have the luxury of a permanent baby sitter and guy to call up riders to make sure they are getting there stuff and to make sure filming is going as planned and if the filmer is getting product and about 800 people going for the same job. 10. Design/build skate parks It is a growth industry. Just ask the guys over at grind line or site or the other several company’s that are building amazing skate parks and plaza’s . Some say you will need a degree n Architecture and you might need to be briefed on computer program such as D Cat but That is a pile of lies there is no way you are going to tell me munk red or the guys down at Washington street or san Pedro took any classes at the local university. Give those guys a shovel some gravel and chicken coop wire and sweeten the deal with a 6 pack and free cement and they will build something that any non skater ran contractor could not do with 1 million bucks and 40 man crew.
Yet recently, Baby finally addressed the firestorm of controversy in an interview with DJ Uptown Angela on Q93, a Clear Channel station in New Orleans, and admitted that the photo only expressed the real father/son relationship that exists between Baby and Lil' Wayne. “jim greco is getting gayer and gayer” – slap forum
The movie follows their adventures as fugitives from the United States Department of Homeland Security as they travel through Miami to Texas and ultimately find themselves in the ranch-house of President George W. Bush.
Omar Hassan recent head injury
Movie: The Wicker Man Genre: Horror Year: 2006
Rating: PG-13 Actor: Nicolas Cage Budget: $35,000,000
Review: I have always been a big horror movies fan. Even though it seems that most horror movies from 1998 onwards are total junk. Some of my favorite classics are “IT” and “The People Under the Stairs”. The original movie was made in 1973. The remake which I am reviewing was released in 2006. The movie overall to me was pretty dope. Most people who reviewed the movie gave it a very bad rating compared to the original movie. I haven’t seen the original yet but I was pleased with the remake. It featured good acting, creepy scenes and a story that I haven’t seen done before in a film. There is a lot I want to say about this film but at the same time I think I would be spoiling it. Keep in mind if you don’t like this movie, check out the original which was more accepted by critics. Rating: 8/10 Summary: While recovering from a tragic accident on the road, the patrolman Edward Malus receives a letter from his former fiancée Willow, who left him years ago without any explanation, telling that her daughter Rowan is missing. Edward travels to the private island of Summerisle, where Willow lives in an odd community that plant fruits, and she reveals that Rowan is actually their daughter. Along his investigation with the hostile and unhelpful dwellers, Edward discloses that the locals are pagans, practicing old rituals to improve their harvest, and Rowan is probably alive and being prepared to be sacrificed. When he locates the girl, he finds also the dark truth about the wicker man.
1. Who kickflipped the highest set of stairs (20)? A) Andrew Reynolds B) Chris Cole C) Dave Bachinsky
2. Which 2 skateboarders own/run Girl, Chocolate, Royal….
3. True of False? In the late '90s, before Tom Penny took his European
hiatus, éS wanted to give him a pro model shoe. Penny sent the designers at éS a Columbia hiking boot and told them to replicate it for his shoe. The shoe was never made and it would be some time before the company approached Penny again. 4. Who was the youngest skateboarder to get a pro shoe at the age of 16? A) Tony Hawk
B) Bastien Salbanzi C) Steve Caballero
Who started Enjoi but then left for Chocolate?
6. Which company did Cairo Foster start but died after the new owners of the parent company wanted to run things differently? 7. Which pro skateboarder punched Andrew Reynolds teeth in?
8. Which skateboard shoe company did Timberland buy?
9. Which company bought DC shoes in 2004?
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