---------- Forwarded message --------- From:
Dan Mossip-Balkwill
<dan@metowe.com> Date: Sat, Sep 12, 2009 at 12:15 PM Subject: An honest goodbye To: …………………...
I distinctly remember the last time I saw …………...
He was standing outside of 233 Carlton with a box in his hands, which contained a 12 year old scotch given to him by the staff, among other personal affects. He was looking from side to side, somewhat content, somewhat in a rush, waiting to be picked up by his dad. He was alone, and no one was standing beside him wishing him goodbye. He’d just finished his last day, and had a nice send-off on the patio of the Me to We building. Somehow the image was sad, but seemed to epitomize how we all leave this organization. It seems like the instant you walk out those doors you’re gone, it’s over, you’re all by yourself. Inside there are parties, goodbye’s, and free bottles of scotch, but once you leave, you’re alone waiting for another ride. I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but there does appear to be a sharp contrast. I think about all of this as I sit down to write my goodbye e-mail to the staff, and think about the mix of emotions I have about leaving. I’m sad to leave, there’s no question about it, I’ll miss the people that started as friends, and are all now family, I’ll miss my job. In my two years here I’ve been to Kenya, India,Kuwait, Arizona, Mexico, California, and most impressively North Bay. I’ve met some of the most amazing people, and life long friends in this organization, and on the trips I lead, workshops I facilitate, and academies I attend. I have been able to gain more experience in two years, than some people can gain in 20. Yet someone once said they’ve never worked at a place where people are so excited to leave, and that’s true for me too. I’m excited to sleep, read, watch movies, and sleep some more. I cant’ remember the last time I was so excited to do those things. I wonder as I write this what that’s all about. My mixed emotions about leaving seem fitting as I’ve had such a mix of emotions while working here. My e-mail below will reflect that. The number one criticism I’ve heard, and had, about goodbye’s from past staff is that they are not honest. People complain bitterly about this organization while they’re here, then when they leave they don’t say why they are really leaving, and to make matters worse they actually profess their unwavering “love” for the organization. I also feel the nervousness of actually being “honest” in my experiences here. I worry about what others worry about, burning bridges and future career opportunities. I’m nervous about the repercussions of what I’m about to say here. But then I think that over 200 people have walked in, and then walked out, of these doors in the last 4 years. They say they leave for school, loved ones, other job prospects, or just because. And while those may be true, they are all symptoms, the cause is this organization.
You don’t seek out grad school, and new jobs if you’re happy where you are. I didn’t want to be the 201 staff person to walkout without being honest. I decided it’s important for me tell people why I’m leaving. We talk about culture carriers in this organization. Part of the reason I want to write an honest goodbye e-mail is to try and be a culture changer instead. Our culture needs to change, just as society’s culture has changed with time. I was in a meeting where facilitators were bringing up issues they had with the organization. It was explained that these issues work in a cyclical fashion, that they always come up, especially around this time of year, and have for the last 7 years. That’s not good enough, it means the same problems keeps happening and nothing is being done about them. Just as our organization says that it strives to break the cycle of poverty around the world, we need to break the cycle of inaction internally. A former staff member told me that everyone goes through a cycle upon coming to this organization. -
1-6 months
– so excited to be here and love everything.
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7-12 months
– Start to see problems but have faith that they can be fixed and you can fix them.
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13-18 months
– Upset and bitter because no one listened to your seemingly obvious solutions, and the problems continue even though everyone knows they exist.
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19-24 month
– you quit before your two year contract is up.
I write this because it rings true to my experience. I know some of the newer people here will not understand at all what I’m writing about, and hopefully never will, and that for others I will be writing exactly how they are feeling. To those that don’t feel it, I hate to say this, but you may not have been hurt badly enough yet. To be clear I write this e-mail out of a place of love, not hate for this organization. Love for the staff, love for the impact of it’s programs, and love for the incredible potential that it has. I’ve had some of the best experiences of my entire life here, and while everyone says that when they leave, I think it’s important to step back and acknowledge that part. So I have no intention of writing this to “take down” the organization, or to finally get revenge. I hope it creates a new framework to talk about change, I hope it lets everyone know that there are tons of people who feel the same way they do. I hope this unites people, gets them talking around the water cooler,
and helps people begin to create change in their workplace. I hope it triggers something, but I’m not sure exactly what this is yet, and it’s not for me, but for the remaining staff to figure out. I’ve been thinking about this e-mail since my first 4 months here. In January 08 I was ready to quit. I’d had it. I was going to see out the school year, but I was done for sure in September, I was literally making travel plans with friends. I was so fed up with the lack of transparency, recognition, and total disrespect I felt I faced that I was going to leave. What kept me was another story with ………… or ...
, as he preferred to be called. We talked about a co-worker who had left Kenya because of the way he felt the staff were treated over there. …………
had been to Kenya and didn’t agree or disagree with his stance, but he did say something that will stick with me forever. He said, “ya, that’s great that he’s taken that stance, but now that he’s left those people are still being treated the same way. Nothing’s changed.” It hit me then that if I wanted to contribute to a positive change within this organization I needed to stay to do it. That quitting out of protest would not change things, not as individual. A mass walkout would be different, but that’s not what our co-worker had done. I took on my role as manager, thinking I could revolutionize the way this place runs. That’s what kept me here. While I think this organization has improved, ever so slightly over my two years, it’s got a long way to go, and it’s made me tired to try and change it alone. That’s not to say others aren’t trying, we just don’t know who we are, and are afraid to talk about it. Now you can give all the reasons in the world you want about why people feel this way, how they should have stood up and said something, or that they ought to have known what they were getting into or if they didn’t like it, they could have juts left. But the staff who work here, work out of
love.
It’s love damnit, not money, glamour, fame, or fortune, just love. They love what they do, who they do it for, and who they do it with. They signed up to give at least two years of their life to change the world, literally that’s what they signed up for. To reduce them to tears, tell them to leave if they don’t like it, that they need to suck it up, or that their problems don’t compare to children in Africa is atrocious. Telling them to leave if they don’t like it shows that you don’t value them as a staff. In Arizona I watched a documentary called Made in L.A. It’s about migrants who find work sweatshops for Forever 21. As they interview one of the main characters she says that when she complained to her boss about the long hours, the lack of respect, and the low pay (sound familiar?) he told her if she didn’t like she could leave. I honestly can’t count the number of times I’ve heard that said here. It sends our staff the same message it sent her: we don’t care about you, and you are disposable. This organization sends the same message to it’s staff that a sweatshop in L.A. does.