Effective Communication Skills

Adapted from: Egan, G. (1998). The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management Approach to Helping. Pacific Grove, California: Brooks/Cole Publishing Company.
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Effective Communication Skills

Attending Listening

Understanding

Attending = Behaviors+ Beliefs+ Attitudes

Behavior Emotional, mental & physical messages transmitted verbally and nonverbally Beliefs Unconscious ideals, goals, logic & values expressed by thoughts, feelings, and behaviors Attitudes : Towards self and others

Self-Limiting Beliefs
Being liked and loved Being a victim Avoiding oppression of the past Passivity Being competent Having ones way Being hurt Being in danger Being problem free

Good Listening
Safe Environment Discerning nonverbal and verbal cues Non judgemental yet knowledgeable Connecting and remembering themes

ROLES
Relaxed conveys confidence Open posture conveys non-defensiveness Lean conveys attentiveness Eye contact conveys interest Squarely conveys availability Relaxed = inner peace Open posture = arms + legs uncrossed Lean = towards client Eye contact = without staring Squarely=feet & shoulders aligned with

Nonverbal Behaviors Convey Their True Feelings

Nonverbal actions communicate more than words. Facial expressions such as smiles or clenched jaw Voice quality such as tone, level, or rapid speech Physiological responses such as rapid breathing or blushing
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Nonverbal Behaviors Cont

Body motions such as posture and gesture Physical traits such as weight or complexion General appearance such as grooming and dress

Verbal Communication
Experiences: what happened to him? Behavior: what she does or refrains from doing? Affect: feelings and emotions that result from his/her experiences and behaviours

Questions Counsellors Can Ask Themselves

What are my attitudes towards my clients? What attitudes am I expressing in my verbal & nonverbal behaviour?

 "Empathy is the counselor's ability to sense the client's world the way the client does and to convey that understanding." Frank A. Nugent "Empathy is the skill of reflecting back to another person the emotions he or she is expressing so that he or she feels heard and understood." opendoors.Com Empathy involves listening to clients, understanding them . .. ... and communicating this understanding to them so that they might understand themselves more fully and act of their understanding. Eagan (1994)

The Definition of Basic Empathy

The ability to correctly understand another person

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The ability to communicate your understanding

Perceiving and Communicating

The Purpose of Basic Empathy

Build Trust Empathy is thus the ability to recognize and acknowledge the feelings of another person without experiencing those same emotions. It is an attempt to understand the world of the client by temporarily stepping into his or her shoes. This understanding of the client's world must then be shared with the client in either a verbal or non-verbal way.

1. Reading Assignment: Counselors, How To Show Empathy: 3 Steps & 1 Formula 2. What are the Skills Involved In Communicating Empathy?

Basic Empathy Formula

You feel ________ because ________.

here indicate the correct emotion expressed by your client

here indicate the correct experiences and behaviours that shaped the feelings

Empathic Responses
You feel worried because if anyone found out your supervisor touched you, your family would be shamed. You feel betrayed because your friend told someone else about your situation.

Questioning Strategies
Open-ended questions Less likely to receive a yes or no answer. Can you tell me more about _____? Please tell me more about _____? Closed-ended questions Directive question
Obtain specific information Few answering options

Do you like _____?

Questioning Strategies Leading Questions How do you think your parents are going to feel when they find out you are your boyfriend is a foreigner (or different religion?) Choice Questions
When your client does not respond, denies knowing answer, or is in shock.

Hypothetical Questions

Introduce a situation that your client may be

experiencing but uncomfortable discussing.

 Reflection Paraphrase Reassures your client that you are listening

It seems that you are afraid your filing Sexual Harassment charges will hurt your family.

Facilitation Verbal/nonverbal cues Encourages your clients to keep talking

Nodding, leaning forward: yes

 Silence Allows your client to think or cry Reassure her that you are ready to listen Confrontation Face issue in direct but respectful way I understand you want to protect your familys reputation. But I wonder who is protecting you? Clarification Get details Pt I feel so bad about myself Helper: You say you feel bad. What is it that you feel bad about?

 Interpretation Make statement about behaviour or thinking of which client may be unaware Listen to underlying themes It seems that because no one realized you experienced a traumatic event, you are being blamed for not being able to finish your work like you used to do.

 Summation Name the pattern or theme that is emerging It seems like you have had a lot of betrayal in your life. First, by your father when he molested you, and then, by your mother when she did not believe you. Explanation Explain intervention in understandable language After the interview, the doctor is going to examine you to find out if you have any problems that need medical attention. Are there any questions about the medical examination that you would like to ask me?

 Transition Shift to another topic Youve told me a great deal about your family. Id also like to hear about you. Self-revelation Limited, discreet, self-disclosure I understand how torn you feel, because I felt the same way when my sister asked me to promise not to tell what happened to her.

 Positive reinforcement Allows your client to feel comfortable sharing his secrets. You showed a lot of courage when you tried to stop the fight. Reassurance Leads to trust and compliance Empathic response I cant promise the medical exam wont hurt, but I can promise to stay with you the wholetime.

Remember

The Definition of Probing and Summarizing

Probes are statements, requests, questions, single words, phrases, or nonverbal prompts. Summarizing is the art of naming the core issues and themes.

The Purpose of Probing and Summarizing

Probes help your client explore his core issues more fully. Summarizing helps both you and your colleague to stay focused on core issues that can make a difference. Achieve clarity in defining the problem clearly enough to form an achievable action plan. I understand you feel your family betrayed you, but Im still unclear about what actually happened.

Use Probes to:

Fill in missing pieces of the picture.
Im still unclear why you never told anyone your supervisor was hitting you.

Use Probes to:

Get a balanced view of problem situations.
It seems you understand the dangers of your drug use, but I wonder if you remember why you started using in the first place?

Use Probes to:

Re-evaluate an action plan as the consequences of new behaviours become known.

I am wondering how the offer from your parents to pay for your education influences your decision to quit your job?
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Use Probes to:

Recognize unused opportunities I am wondering how the offer from your Section Chief to transfer you to another Unit influences your decision to not report your supervisor for Sexual Harassment? Help your client ask himself;Whats going on? and to make his/her own judgements about the consequences of her behaviour. So you started drinking to relax. Does it still relax you?

Suggestions for the Use of Probes

Keep in mind the goals of probing. Use a mix of probing statements, open-ended questions, and interjections. Follow up a probe with basic empathy rather than another probe. Do not engage your client in question and-answer sessions. Use mixture of empathy and probing to help your client clarify problems, identify blind spots, develop new scenarios, search for action strategies, formulate plans, and review outcomes of action.

The Miracle Question

If you had to ask yourself one question right now about all of this, what would it be? If a miracle happened and your husband had never divorced you, what would be different about your life? How would you know this miracle had occurred? If you had the kind of relationship with your father that you wanted, what would it look like?

When to Summarize
Summarizing what was said in the last meeting may prevent repetition and provide a springboard to start the present meeting. At our last meeting, you talked about the death of your parents. Can you say more about becoming homeless? In a session that is going no where,a summary statement may help your client focus and examine the implications of what s/he said. I cant help noticing the similarity between your reactions toward the police and your father.

When to Summarize cont.

When your colleague gets stuck, pulling together jumbled thoughts may help behaviour patterns become clear. Even though the situations are different, the way you recently resolved the problem of your boyfriend pressuring you to have unprotected sex and the way you handled your past problem at work seem similar.

Thank You