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The Love a Wife Desires, the Respect a Husband Needs.

Men and women want different things. No surprises here. Its easy to assume that the wants and needs you feel are the same as those of your spouse. Women need love and Men want respect.

So bare this is mind when we discuss rights & responsibilities.

Rights Rights Rights! What about responsibilities.....?

Fulfill the Duty to Others. There are mutual rights and duties. However, Allah will not ask on the Day of Judgment if you have received all your rights but He will ask if you have fulfilled all your duties. Duties fall under four categories:


Duty to Allah: The first and foremost duty is to Allah. There are three duties to Allah, (a) not to associate partners with Him, (b) not to worship anyone but Allah, and (c) not to depend upon anyone for help but Allah. Duty to Other Human Beings: Whenever there is interaction with another person there are mutual rights and duties. One person's rights are another person's duties. There are duties to parents, spouse, children, relatives, neighbours, buyers, sellers, ruler, ruled, boss, subordinates and so on.

Rights Rights Rights! What about responsibilities.....? contd

3. Community Duty: There is a duty to defend the family, the country and the community as a whole. In addition there are people who cannot provide for themselves, such as, the poor, orphans, widows, handicapped, refugees and others whom a single person cannot support fully but the community as a whole can. Every Muslim should be a part of such a support system. Every human being has five basic rights, namely, food, clothing, shelter, education and health maintenance; every Muslim should be part of the system providing basic rights to all those who cannot provide for themselves. 4. Duty to Manage the Earth: Allah has appointed man Khalifah on the earth, meaning that man is a trustee or manager of the earth for the owner, Allah. Humankind, in general, and Muslims, in particular, have the duty to see that the resources of the earth are not abused: air and water are not polluted, animals are not killed for fun or for greedy people, trees are not cut down unnecessarily and so on. Use resources of the earth but do not abuse them.

Rights in marriage fall into 3 categories:

Mutual rights between the two spouses. 2. Husbands rights. 3. Wifes rights.

Duties that are mutual:

1st Duty: To forgive each others small mistakes.

2nd Duty: To provide emotional support in both happiness and sadness.

3rd Duty: To offer each other wholesome advice concerning obedience to Allah. 4th Duty: To keep each others secrets. The Prophet (saw) says: The people of the worst stature with Allah on the Day of Judgment are men who confide in their wives, and wives who confide in their husbands, and then they spread each others secrets around. [Sahh Muslim] 5th Duty: To pass the night with one another. That means both must please one another in terms of intimacy. This is a mutual duty. Regarding men, the Prophet (saw) said to Ab al-Dard: O Ab al-Dard, you have a duty to your body, and to your Lord, and to your guest, and to your wife. Fast and break your fasts, pray, and be intimate with your wife. Give everyone their due right. [Sahh alBukhr]. In terms of women, the Prophet (saw) said: If a man invites his wife to his bed and she refuses, and as a consequence he goes to sleep angry, then the angels curse her until she rises. [Sahh al-Bukhr]. 6th Duty: To adorn themselves in a reasonable manner.

The husbands duties to his wife:

First Duty: To financially support his wife. This is a financial right, and includes: food, drink, clothing, and other basic needs. Second Duty: To provide appropriate housing within the means of the husband. The wife has a right to her own home wherein she can feel comfortable. Third Duty: Assisting them in their quest for salvation by teaching them their religion. Fourth Duty: To pay a dower. This is a right which precedes the contract. It is a symbol of honouring the woman and it is not permissible to neglect it until after the contract. Fifth Duty: To treat them with kindness.

The wifes duties to her husband:

First Duty: Obedience. A wife ought be as obedient as she can provided it does not go against the teachings of Islam. Second duty: Not to let anyone into your house unless he permits it. Not to leave the house unless the he permits it. Third duty: To guard his property.

Fourth duty: To refrain from fasting voluntarily unless she has permission.
Fifth duty: To manage the house in a reasonable fashion. This doesnt necessarily mean physical work on the part of the woman. Note the management of the house can mean overlooking the work as oppose to actually doing it. But doing so counts as charity on the womans behalf.