self awareness | Self Esteem | Self Awareness

Self Awareness and Managing Personal Effectiveness

Goleman's (2001) Emotional Intelligence Competencies
SELF
Personal Competence Self-Awareness Recognition Emotional Self-Awareness Accurate Self-Assessment Self-Confidence
 

OTHERS
Social Competence Social Awareness Empathy Service Orientation Organizational Awareness

Self Management
Regulation Self-Control Trustworthiness Conscientiousness Adaptability Achievement Drive Initiative
 

Relationship Management
Developing Others Influence Communication Conflict Management Leadership Change Catalyst Building Bonds Teamwork and Collaboration

Adapted from Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman Primal Press HBSP 2002

their motivations and intentions. motivations and fears.  Social Competence  Gardner's interpersonal intelligence – Ability to understand others. .their desires.Two Realms of Emotional Intelligence  According to Goleman (1998)  Personal Competence  Gardner's intra-personal intelligence – Ability to understand one's own feelings.

SELF-AWARENESS • Emotional self-awareness: Reading one’s own emotions and recognizing their impact.The Emotional Competence Framework Personal Competence: These competencies determine how we manage ourselves. using ―gut sense‖ to guide decisions • Accurate self-assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and limits • Self-confidence: A sound sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities *P Primal Leadership. Daniel Goleman. Harvard Business School Press. 2002 .

Self Awareness Skill sets associated with Self-Awareness include  Emotional Awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects     Know which emotions you feel and why Realize the links between feelings and what you do. and think Recognize how feelings affect performance Have a guiding awareness of personal values and goals  Accurate Self-Assessment      Knowing one’s strengths and limits Aware of personal strengths and weaknesses Reflective and able to learn from experience Open to candid feedback. new perspectives and self-development Able to show a sense of humour and perspective about oneself Able to have a ―presence‖ and be self-assured Able to voice views that are different and/or unpopular  Self-Confidence:    Able to be decisive and make decisions despite uncertainties . say.

The Emotional Competence Framework Personal Competence: * SELF-MANAGEMENT • Emotional self-control: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses under control • Transparency: Displaying honest and integrity. trustworthiness • Adaptability: Flexibility in adapting to changing situations or overcoming obstacles • Achievement: The drive to improve performance to meet inner standards of excellence • Initiative: Readiness to act and seize opportunities • Optimism: Seeing the upside in events .

.What is Deception? Young Red-necked Wallaby-allows it to blend in with its environment.

To lie to oneself. -Sackeim (1983) . to hold beliefs outside of awareness.

half-truths) Propaganda .Types of Deception Distraction Camouflage Physical deception through the alterations of appearances Dissimulation (concealing truth.

-Pienaar. (2009) .

What’s wrong with self-deception? .

Moral Dimensions? Deception v/s Self Deception Deception Can be harmful to people Has a disregard for the truth Generally has a tone of manipulation Self Deception Can be harmful to people Has a disregard for the truth Involves the manipulation of oneself Undermines one’s agency Leaves others feeling betrayed Undermines another’s agency. Can become habitual with a need to be perpetuated – a need to see oneself despite the evidence .

MAKING THE CONNECTION .

Self Awareness “the need to know and the fear of knowing” -Abraham Maslow (1968) .

Define Self--Activity Seeing yourself as a unique individual Self Concept The mental ideas we form of ourselves How do these change over time? .

The Self-Concept Who are you really? Are you the person that you are because of your unique personality. . physical and mental abilities etc. Or do you get information about who you are from outside influences? The concept of self implies that people are a combination of physical and psychological attributes that are unique to that individual.

self-image is not a singular concept but rather an array of understanding. .Development of our ―Self-Image‖ • Early emotional experiences influence our concept of ―Who I am‖ • Because we are influenced by all of our experiences.

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age. and status—who you THINK you are . behavioral and psychological characteristics that establish uniqueness.The Personal Self-Image • The part of the self that includes physical. it includes racial/ethnic identity.

.The ―Real Self‖ • In order to discover one’s Real Self. one must • separate what is real from the Personal Self-Image One cannot really discover the Real Self until one is ready to accept the possibility that everything you believe about yourself at this point may be wrong.

predictable and controllable – Self-disclose so others can provide insights into your behavior .Sensitive Line Point at which individuals become defensive or protective when encountering information about themselves Increased self-knowledge occurs when: – Information is verifiable.

Core Aspects of Self-Concept Values Attitudes (Toward Change) Interpersonal Needs Learning Style .

Self-Esteem • The overall evaluation of oneself • How we evaluate ourselves is a crucial element in our psychological adjustment • Positive self-esteem effects our physical well-being as well as our likelihood for success .

Self Esteem Seeing our self concept in relation to a set of standards Positive or high self esteem Negative or low self esteem What influences self esteem? Does self esteem change over time? .

Improving Self-Esteem • Recognize that you are in control of your self-image • Be able to accept all parts of your physical • • • appearance now Affirm your strengths List your faults Listen to your Inner Voice .

Daily Practices • Living consciously • Self-acceptance • Self-responsibility • Self-assertiveness • Living purposefully • Personal integrity .

Significant Others • The important people in our lives (not just a single important person) • Significant others in our lives convey messages about us that we interpret as important • From all this information. we construct a mental ―blueprint‖ of who we are and what we are capable of .

feelings. and abilities in relation to other people.Social Comparison • The process in which individuals evaluate their thoughts. behaviors. • Social comparison allows us a way to decide if we are the same or different. inferior or superior relative to others .

Social Comparison • Our interpretation of sameness or difference • relative to others will influence our sense of belonging or isolation Our interpretation of inferiority or superiority relative to others will influence our sense of capability and worth .

To ponder and discuss • Who are the significant others in your life today? • Who were the significant others in your childhood? • To whom are you a significant other? .

‖– Shakespeare  ―The mind is its own place and it can make hell of heaven or heaven of hell‖-.Donne .Understanding Thinking Pattern (negative) for Improved Self Esteem  ―There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so.

What a person I am! How unfortunate that I did'nt do well on this test.. Yet it's not the end of the world.” “I guess I’m somewhat likable. Like most things it is a mixture of good and bad. Diminishing the value or importance of something to less than it actually is (Minimizing) I know my boss said most of my submission was great but he also said there were a number of mistakes that had to be corrected.Common Styles of Negative Self Talk Filtering out positive aspects of a situation. I get really anxious around others at times. he’s the most popular guy in the world and everyone wants to be around him. (Magnifying) “I wish I could be more like my friend. .” Thinking this way leaves little room to remember the fact that you are actually a likable person. and I hate that I don’t have as much money as my friends.he must think I’m really hopeless. This low grade is worst thing that ever happened to me. Next time I certainly will study harder. I genuinely blew it. while focusing only on negatives (Negativizing)  This job is nothing but one headache after another  This job has many negative things about it. but then it has some positive ones too.. It's horrible. Making more of an event than it actually is. but I think I talk too much.

I am responsible for my poor grades. . Attributing responsibilities of events .Common Styles of Negative Self Talk Generalizing from a single piece of information to all or most such things. (Blaming) My poor grades is a result of faculty's strict evaluation. to someone else. However. specially negative ones. even when such responsibilities rightfully belongs to the self. The last was not so interesting. (Generalizing) People like her can’t be trusted ―You never listen to me― ―He always interrupts me‖ I always mess up I've messed up this time but I can learn from my mistake. It would have been nice if the evaluation was not so strict. but it does not mean that every day is the same day. I had a bad week at work so I need to quit.

along with several other employees. angry.‖ • • How do you think these thoughts made him feel? Can you see where his thinking is distorted or inaccurate? • What thoughts would you suggest he think instead? .Exercise: Tarun's Thinking Tarun was laid off from work. worried. and guilty. and he became quite depressed. because of a business slowdown. He felt bummed out. I’m letting my family down. ―I’m a born loser. He kept thinking.

Assignment : Break Free From Unhealthy Thinking Patterns Briefly describe a situation where you have used each thinking style? With whom you used the style For what purpose you used each style? .

if more than 11 write H (high) .Personal Effectiveness Scale Scoring Original Score 0 1 2 3 4 Reserved Responses 4 3 2 1 0 Enter your responses after reversing the (*) marked ones Item 1* 4* 7 10* Response Item 2 5* 8 11* Response Item 3* 6* 9 12* Response 13 Total 14 15* Self Disclosure Openness to Feedback Perceptiveness If the total score less then 11 write L (low).

Personal Effectiveness Scale: Interpretation Mark one category as per your scores: Defines your effectiveness type S.No 1 Category Effective Self Diclosure High Opennes to Feedback High Perceptiveness High 2 3 Insensitive Egocentric High High High Low Low Low 4 5 Dogmatic Secretive High Low Low High High High 6 7 8 Task Obsessed Lonely Empathetic Ineffective Low Low Low High Low Low Low High Low .

Thank You .

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