HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER

Chapter 4

1. LOVE: THE FOUNDATION OF THE FAMILY

Love is true when it creates the good of persons and communities; it creates good and gives it to others. Only one who is able to be demanding with himself in the name of love can give love to others. Love is demanding. In the realm of loving ones neighbor the love between the spouses is primary followed closely by parent-child relationships. Good moral conduct between parents and children and vice versa, as well as among siblings is essential because those relationships are closely related (no pun intended) on the family tree These relationships reflect the supernatural love that is at the heart of Christian Morality. The love between husband and wife gives origin to children, and also joins brothers and sisters together. Therefore, ethically condemnable conduct in the heart of the family is often called unnatural and even monstrous.

PART 1, CONT.

The Catechism tells us: 2199 The fourth commandment is addressed expressly to children in their relationship to their father and mother, because this relationship is the most universal. It likewise concerns the ties of kinship between members of the extended family. It requires honor, affection, and gratitude toward elders and ancestors. Finally, it extends to the duties of pupils to teachers , employees to employers, subordinates to leaders, citizens to their country, and to those who administer or govern it. This commandment includes and presupposes the duties of parents, instructors, teachers, leaders, magistrates, those who govern, all who exercise authority over others or over a community of persons.

2. BIBLICAL FACTS ABOUT THE FOURTH COMMANDMENT

The Old Testament lists the fourth commandment in several places: 1. Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. 2. Deuteronomy 5:16 Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. Deuteronomy tells us that your happiness is contingent on following this precept. The book of Leviticus added to this. In addition, the book of Proverbs offers insight on how to love ones parents especially when it comes to obedience to what they teach us: My child, keep your fathers commandment , and do not forsake your mothers teaching. Bind them upon your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. Sirach instructs us: With all your heart honor your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that it was of your parents you were born; how can you repay what they have given to you?

PART 2, CONT.

The wisdom of Sirach continues:

Listen to me your father, O children; act accordingly, that you may be kept in safety. For the Lord honors a father above his children, and he confirms a mothers right over her children. Those who honor their father atone for sins, and those who respect their mother are like those who lay up treasure. Those who honor their father will have joy in their own children, and when they pray they will be heard. Those who respect their father will have long life, and those who honor * their mother obey the Lord; they will serve their parents as their masters. * Honor your father by word and deed, that his blessing may come upon you. For a fathers blessing strengthens the houses of the children, but a mothers curse uproots their foundations. Do not glorify yourself by dishonoring your father, for your fathers dishonor is no glory to you. The glory of ones father is ones own glory, and it is a disgrace for children not to respect their mother. My child, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if his mind fails, be patient with him; because you have all your faculties do not despise him. For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, and will be credited to you against your sins; in the day of your distress it will be remembered in your favor; like frost in fair weather, your sins will melt away. Whoever forsakes a father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers a mother is cursed by the Lord.

4. PARENTS RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR CHILDREN

St. Paul gives advice to parents regarding the education of their children: Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. In this instruction, the love for their children is presupposed. Three things in this verse are to be noted: 1. parents should educate their children with discipline

2. they must not be excessively rigorous (dont be a complete harda*s with your kids)
3. form them in the teachings of Jesus Parents must correct their children. They are born with immense potential for good and evil and must be guided in good moral behavior.

PART 4, CONT.

Parents have a duty to provide for the spiritual and physical needs of their children as well as for their education. Children, in turn, have the obligation to accept their parents instruction and follow it. It is much more difficult in the modern world for this to occur because of the culture which encourages children to reject the direction of their parents. Parents must educate their children in the faith. At minimum the parents should: teach simple prayers to be said at bedtime with the parents participating the Catechism and the lives of the Saints for children should be introduced

Studies show that the Father of the child has an especially important role to play in the religious education of his children and the forming of their religious habits
Parents must also remember that there is a direct connection between their personal religious practice and that of their children

PART 4, CONT.

Parents must respect and encourage the vocational choices of their children to religious life, the married life or single virginity. Although providing a good intellectual environment is important it should never be considered more important than that of their religious and moral training.

5. CHILDRENS RELATIONS WITH THEIR PARENTS

Children are expected not only to honor their parents but to obey them as well! (Even though they probably embarrass you quite a bit) The Christian has an obligation to do so because it pleases Christ. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Colossians 3:20

PART 5, CONT.

The Catechism tells us: 2215 Respect for parents (filial piety) derives from gratitude toward those who, by the gift of life, their love and their work, have brought their children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom, and grace. "With all your heart honor your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your parents you were born; what can you give back to them that equals their gift to you ? And also: 2217 As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." 22 Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

PART 5, CONT.

Parents are called to behave in such a way as to merit the honor and love of their children. We must mutually honor one another. The commandment honor your father and your mother indirectly tells parents: Honor your sons and daughters. They deserve this because they are alive, because of who they are, and this is true from the first moment of conception. PJP II, Letter to Families, 15 (1994) Even when a parent doesnt act in an honorable way, his position as parent requires respect nonetheless. Children have an obligation to support their parents with prayer. (and cleaning up after yourself doesnt hurt either)

6. RELATIONS WITH OTHER MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY

The blood ties extend to grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. Until recently, it was frequent to see families that lived together including up to two or three generations. It is the norm today to have only the immediate family living together. Families must remember that care for other parts of our families should extend to the young, the old, the sick, the handicapped and the poor.