Communication Behaviour

assertive .Types of Communication Behaviour • There are a variety of ways of behaving when we are communicating with others. avoidance 3. submissive 4. • Four different types of behaviours are: 1. aggressive 2. The appropriate choice of behaviour is vitally important if we are to communicate effectively.

1. perhaps both physically and verbally. of anger or dominance. . It is a showing. Aggressive behaviour Aggressive behaviour offends or isolates someone else‟s rights. It can be an automatic reaction or a one-off reaction to a particularly sensitive or threatening situation.

lack of self-esteem. Aggressive Behaviour Aggression can sometimes be 1. an expression of fear.1. or 3. 2. . Aggression places the rights of the aggressor above the rights of the other party and avoids responsibility. inability to control a situation in any other way.

2. Avoidance behaviour Avoidance behaviour is sometimes used to evade any confrontation. It ignores the isolation of rights and responsibilities through fear of the consequences or because you don‟t wish to be bothered with the consequences. .

2. Avoidance can be displayed in many ways . . Quite elaborate plans can be devised to avoid a situation. not answering the phone to certain people or avoiding socialising in a certain place. Avoidance Behaviour People can become very adept at avoiding uncomfortable situations. either through refusal to recognise the problem or by deliberately side stepping confrontational situations.refusing to get a diagnostic test.

We often experience an immediate pleasant effect from pleasing others and not „rocking the boat‟ as we see it. . ignored or lets you be taken advantage of. schools and hierarchical organisations. We often have this type of behaviour instilled in us from parents. guilt or fear by letting your views or thoughts be misconstrued. Submissive /accommodating behaviour Submissive or accommodating behaviour lets you reduce anxiety.3.

Submissive behaviour often leads to a build up of resentment which can show itself in loss of selfesteem or an eventual aggressive outburst. wanting to appear polite and helpful in an excessive way. not wanting to draw attention to yourself. 3. not wanting to say “no” to unreasonable requests. or wanting to avoid a „scene‟. . a belief that you are not as good as others. 2.This type of behaviour is often shown in 1.

relies on honest. . not a last resort. involves protecting your space and rights whilst not isolating another person’s rights or space. involves clear and steady communication. whilst looking for ways to resolve possible problems. 4. standing up for your rights and beliefs. Assertive Behaviour Assertive behaviour 1. Means mutual acceptance of each other’s position that leads to more open and fruitful communication. 2. wants or feelings as a first. 5. 3. means stating your own feelings whilst acknowledging the other person‟s point of view. direct and appropriate expression of needs.4.

There are many issues revolving around sexual stereotyping when we think of assertion.a method of getting what you want at the expense of others.women behaving assertively are thought of as being aggressive.A Misconception Many may associate the word with aggression or manipulation . domineering or bossy! . Men behaving assertively are thought to be in control and masterful .

. It may not be that assertive behaviour lets you „get your own way‟ . .often a workable compromise is the best solution which gains the acceptance of both parties.Win-win Situation Assertive behaviour is often thought of as a WinWin situation where both parties in the communication process benefit from increased effectiveness.

if you are to convey your intended behaviour clearly. • It is important to get a coherent pattern of voice. speech content. • We can convey clear messages without saying a word but by using body language or alter the meaning of a message by changing emphasis or our tone of voice.Summary Let‟s now examine how these behaviours are exhibited. . etc. facial expression. • Many aspects of communication come down to not ‘what’ is said but ‘how’ it is said.

etc. but at the same time recognise the other person's rights to be heard. . • Aggressive You exert your right to have ideas and opinions at the expense of the other person's rights. • Assertive You exert your rights freely and clearly. to the extent that you forego some or all of your rights to express ideas or influence events.Verbal Communication Behaviour Assertiveness can be described as how we recognise the rights of two parties involved. to have pride in what they do. • Non-Assertive You take too much account of the other person's rights. In fact you behave as if the other person's rights don't matter.

. not writing very clearly. um .. .... probably my fault in . but is there.Examples Aggressive • "I don't know how you've got the nerve to give me this sort of stuff for signing. just change one of two small things on this letter for me?“ Or you find an excuse not to take the document back at all.. It's full of mistakes.. er .." Assertive • "Jane. I'd like you to re-do this document as there are several mistakes in it...." Non-Assertive • "I know it's.. any chance at all you could find a spare minute to um .

" . That's typical of young people today." "I know she's very busy." • "I'm sure these are unintentional errors .Examples Aggressive • "If people produce rubbish. so I expect that's why these mistakes • happened." "This reflects badly on me." "I want her to know the effect her errors have on other people.“ Non-Assertive • "I don't want to make a scene or upset our working relationship. and I won't stand for it. but we can handle it.I'll let it go this time.“ Assertive • "This may be uncomfortable for us both. but the responsibility to correct them." • "She has the right to make mistakes. I have every right to tell them so" • "She obviously doesn't care.

• It is also an essential skill for everyone who works for supervisors and managers or who is part of a team at work. home or socially. that people twist what you’re saying. or by avoiding situations that cause conflict and pain. • We may react by getting angry or aggressive. that they take you for granted. or by agreeing to things because we feel powerless and want a quiet life. that you’re not taken seriously. . • How often have you felt that someone doesn’t understand. that your rights have been ignored.Good Communication • Good communication is always said to be an essential skill in being personally effective. angry that you can’t express yourself at the time.

team briefings. gaining cooperation of others. reviewing. and decision making. maintaining standards or setting targets. problem solving. . delegating. planning. scheduling.• You may be involved with meetings. resolving conflicts. • All of these activities are based around establishing and maintaining good methods of communication. interviews. counselling. checking. advocating.

the use of the extremes of behaviour „fight‟ or „flight‟ are not the most appropriate and the use of personal assertion would lead to a better outcome for all parties. our ability to communicate effectively will be governed by many things. but mainly on our development of skills which will help us to balance the conflicting aims.Communicating Effectively • However. rights and reactions of others with our own. • Quite often. • One of the main skills we must develop is to build on the self-awareness of our strengths and weaknesses to encourage the use of behaviour appropriate to the circumstances. . interests.