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PART I

GETTING TO KNOW MARRIAGE

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WHAT IS MARRIAGE

MARRIAGE
Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life. It is the foundation of the family and an inviolable social institution whose nature, consequences, and incidents, are governed by law and not subject to stipulation, except that marriage settlements may fix the property relations during the marriage within the limits provided by this Code. (FCP Art. 1.)

For matrimonial consent to exist, it is necessary that the contracting parties be at least not ignorant of the fact that marriage is a permanent partnership between a man and a woman, ordered to the procreation of children through some form of sexual cooperation. (CCL Art. 1096)

MARRIAGE
The matrimonial covenant by which a man and a woman establishes between themselves a partnership of the whole life, is by its nature ordered towards the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament. (CCC 1601)

PROFOUND REALITIES OF MARRIAGE A State Human Secular Reality A Divine Institution MARRIAGE Sacred Reality A Human Institution .

PROFOUND REALITIES OF MARRIAGE A Social Institution An Event A Personal Affair MARRIAGE A Contract A Covenant .

IN THE FILIPINO CONTEXT  Most Filipinos today have a deeper appreciation for personal freedom and the quality of interpersonal relationship within marriage  Marriage is an affair not only of two individuals but also between two family groups .

.IN THE FILIPINO CONTEXT Marriage and family then are among our highest cultural values HOWEVER there is a growing weakening of the Filipino family and marriage today.

 RESULTS Growing number of broken families Purely civil marriages Abortion Contraceptive mentality Church weddings are often marked by mere social display of affluence .

moral. Where does the real problem lie? Common overstress of romantic love Personal sexual fulfillment in marriage Secularized modern world Break down of traditional. and religious values THERE IS A Gap Between church teachings on marriage and what appears to be the common practice of many Filipino Catholics .

 WHAT IS NEEDED? .

Moses • By Jesus • By the CHURCH THE PROMISE .T. Continued & Applied Adam & Eve • Israelites .THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION Stages of Marriage in Human History: Prefigured Creation Prepared O. Instituted N.Prophet Hosea THE FULFILLMENT THE CODE OF CANON LAW .T.

. The two complement each other and give a more detailed view of God’s work. 1:1-31) and the other is the Yahwist tradition (Gen.] . OP. et al. Lana. 2004.” [Fr.THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION “In the Bible are found two accounts of the Creation. one is called the Priestly account (Gen. p. 2:2-25).9.

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION Sexes/ Genders PRIESTLY ACCOUNT Procreation Equality Between Genders .

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION Companionship YAHWIST ACCOUNT Oneness/ Unitive Complementarity .

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION Reasons behind woman being “…taken from the rib of man. Woman was not taken from the feet of man to show that men should not trample on women.” 1. Woman was not taken from the hands of man in order to show that men should not use the women 3. 2. Woman was not taken from the head of man in order to show that men should not rule over the woman. .

5. Instead. woman was taken from the ribs of the man to show that they should always walk side by side in mutual support of each other. This therefore signifies that men should have women as the closest to their heart to love and to care for the rest of their lives. .THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION 4. Woman was also taken from the ribs of man because the ribs are closest to the heart.

Marriage is for Procreation. (Procreative) 2.THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IN CREATION CONCLUSION: Two Purposes of Marriage in God’s Original Plan: 1. (Unitive) . Marriage is for the union between husband and wife.

THE ORIGINAL PURPOSE AS DISTURBED BY SIN CONSEQUENCES OF SIN IN MARRIAGE: SOURCE: Genesis 3 1. .Man & woman hid themselves from God. the other creatures and God was destroyed. . woman.Man blamed (God) the woman for the sin. . The original communion between man.The woman in return blamed the snake. .

.Both of them realized that they were naked and they felt shame. . The mutual attraction between man and woman was replaced by lust.THE ORIGINAL PURPOSE AS DISTURBED BY SIN CONSEQUENCES OF SIN IN MARRIAGE: 2.

. The equality between man and woman was replaced with sexual hierarchy (domination of man over woman).THE ORIGINAL PURPOSE AS DISTURBED BY SIN CONSEQUENCES OF SIN IN MARRIAGE: 3. .The woman was regarded as the cause of temptation.

.THE ORIGINAL PURPOSE AS DISTURBED BY SIN CONSEQUENCES OF SIN IN MARRIAGE: These consequences of original sin will have a lasting effect in marriage as will be found in man’s history.

• Women were distinctly subordinated to men (second class). • • Their status was not only determined by their relation to man (simply as wives. • Polygamous relationship was allowed. mothers. sisters). Their primary function was to bear children to continue the human generation. .MARRIAGE REALIZED AMONG GOD’S CHOSEN PEOPLE The ideals of marriage in Genesis were not achieved among God’s chosen people.

Men with barren wives were allowed to have a concubine as a substitute. • The existence of Levirate law.MARRIAGE REALIZED AMONG GOD’S CHOSEN PEOPLE The ideals of marriage in Genesis were not achieved among God’s chosen people. . • Divorce was also permitted as long as it is on the initiative of the husband. • Barrenness was considered a disgrace.

. the Israelites.THE PROPHETIC VISION OF MARRIAGE The prophets. particularly Hosea. • It is forever. • It is forgiving. (Just as God remained faithful in His love for His people. envisioned the marriage between husband and wife as a covenant showing the covenant between God and His chosen people.) • It is faithful. so should husbands and wives be faithful to each other.

T. . Christ came as our Redeemer. He.MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N. He redeemed us from the bondage of sin in all its effects. also redeemed marriage and gave back its original richness. therefore.

MARRIAGE IN THE TEACHINGS OF CHRIST Source: John 15:12-14 1. love calls for fidelity.T.MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N. Implication: Christ has made the quality of his love for us as the standard of true love. That is. unconditional surrender and forgiveness in the instance of failure. . Christ taught us the deeper meaning of love.

Implication: • He also confirmed the goodness of marriage by being present in that occasion. Christ taught us the goodness and the sacredness of marriage.T.MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N. • He showed that He valued marriage by doing something wonderful on that day (His first miracle). Source: John 2:1ff (The Wedding at Cana) 2. .

Source: Mark 10:1-12 (The Question about Divorce) 3. Implication: Christ’s answer was no to divorce. man must not put asunder. Christ also confirmed the UNITIVE dimension of marriage (the everlasting union between husband and wife).”) .MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N. Jesus affirmed the original plan of God in marriage: that man and woman should be one (“They are no longer two but one body…What God has joined together. Here.T.

T. that is. The Teaching of Jesus about Celibacy Implication: Jesus provided an option. .MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N. celibacy for the sake of God’s kingdom. Source: Matthew 19:3-11 4.

PAUL Source: 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 • He exalted the value of MARITAL ACT/CONJUGAL ACT by referring to it as THE RIGHT OF BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE.T.MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N. He calls this technically as a MARITAL DEBT. . MARRIAGE IN THE TEACHINGS OF ST.

He reiterated the UNITIVE aspect of marriage by linking the union between husband and wife to the love and everlasting union between Christ and His spouse.T. MARRIAGE IN THE TEACHINGS OF ST. .MARRIAGE UNFOLDED IN THE N. the Church. Husbands should love their wives the way Christ loves His Church. PAUL Source: Ephesians 5:25-27 2.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE Contract Celebration MARRIAGE Covenant Vocation .

It should be freely entered into by both parties (Marital/Mutual Consent). i.. 4. they are subject to the purpose and properties of marriage as instituted by God. 3. it is indissoluble or permanent.CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE COMPONENTS 1. It is irrevocable. It can only be entered into by a MAN & a WOMAN. .e. 2. Although it has been from the freedom of both spouses.

It mirrors the covenant between God and His people which have been enriched by the covenant between Christ and His Church. WOMAN and GOD.CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE ESSENTIAL PROPERTIES 1. 2. forgiveness. It is lasting. . marriage is the holy alliance between MAN. and fidelity. forever binding and sacred. as it were. which is characterized by sacrifice.

Responsible Parenthood . HOW? .CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE Like the vocation to the priesthood and single blessedness. .By their readiness to carry their crosses. marriage is also a call by God to come to a closer union with Him.By the spouses bringing each other to God .

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

“Marriage is a joyous celebration. And what adds colors to the celebration is the ceremony.”

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE

The celebration of the sacraments by the Christian community is called LITURGY.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE
LITURGY
 In Greek, means “public service”.  It is the public celebration of the meeting of God and his children through actions and words along with signs and symbols.  Actions and words expresses the dialogue between God and the people.  Signs and symbols, these perceptible realities can become means of expressing the action of God who sanctifies man and the action of man who offer worship to God.

CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE
LITURGY
 Response of faith have to accompany and make effective to the grace already given in the celebration. AS SUCH, required is a conscious, and active participation among the faithful.

by and for the church. .SACRAMENT is a saving symbolic act or visible sign arising from the ministry of Christ and continued in. which when received in faith. fashions us into the likeness of Christ in His Paschal mystery through the power of the Holy Spirit.

the church requires that the spouses-to-be submit to the standard rite which calls for a set liturgical form.CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE “But it is not something the couple merely decides to do for themselves. In fact. otherwise their marriage would be invalid.” . It is the church which provides the details of the basic ritual.

” .CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE “Wedding celebration marks the solemn entry of the spouses into a binding commitment before God and the Christian community. It is a public declaration of their love-commitment before Christ and the Church.

The public character of the consent protects the “I do” once given. and creates rights and duties in the church between spouses towards children.CHRISTIAN DIMENSIONS OF MARRIAGE “Sacramental marriage is a liturgical act. Marriage introduces one into an ecclesial order. It is therefore appropriate that it should be celebrated in the public liturgy of the church. Since marriage is necessary (hence the obligation to have witnesses).” [CCC 1631] . and helps the spouses to remain faithful to it.

The ecclesiastical form requires the groom and the bride to express freely and publicly their consent to take each other as husband and wife before the presence of a priest and deacon. may take the form of questions asked by the priest or deacon to which the groom and the bride normally respond with “I do”.” “I take you as my lawful husband (or wife). and witnesses in these or similar words: “I take you as my lawful husband (or wife) according to the rites of holy Mother the Church.” These words however. .” “I give myself to you as your lawful wife (or husband).

. for better. for worse. until death do as part. The priest or the deacon who assists the celebration receives the consent in the name of the church and gives the blessing. the husband and the wife are the ministers of Christ’s grace. for richer.After the exchange of vows. for poorer. the couple prays to the Lord together: “Grant us.” Since they are the ones who mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of matrimony. to be one heart and one soul from this day forward. in sickness and in health. O Lord.

VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY MATTER MINISTERS FORM .

” [CCC 1626] . If consent is lacking there is no marriage.VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY MATTER “The church holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that makes marriage.

VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY “Matrimonial consent is an act of will by which a man and a woman by an irrevocable covenant mutually give and accept one another for the purpose of establishing a marriage.” [CIC 1057. §2] .

VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY “In marriage.” [CFC 1881] . the „external sign is the love relationship between spouses.

The exchange of “I DO” is the main act in the marriage ceremony.VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY FORM “The sacrament of matrimony consists in the mutual expression by both contracting parties of their free consent to take each other as husband and wife.” [CIC 1057] .

the priest becomes the officiating minister who solemnizes matrimony. The priest stands as the witness authorized by the church to be present and bless the union.VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY MINISTERS “The ministers of Matrimony are the contracting parties themselves. Hence.” [CIC 1057] . the bridegroom and the bride.

VISIBLE SIGNS OF MATRIMONY Bridal Procession White Gown Joining of hands Rings Arrhae SYMBOLS Candles Veil Cord Other Symbols used in the Celberation .

ISSUE :: How about the infertile spouses? ANSWER: They are still “open to fertility” by observing the natural laws and rhythm of fertility. Proles :: Openness to Fertility. (Here. contraception is seen as the tampering of this natural process of fertility.) .PROPERTIES OF MARRIAGE 1. Biological Dimension: The capacity of the husband and the wife to procreate offspring through sexual union.

It signifies God’s covenant which is characterized with patience. Fides :: Unity and Fidelity Couples must unite more intimately in their relationship (self-giving_. kindness and forgiveness. . understanding. To open up one’s heart and extend one’s hand to a repentant beloved.PROPERTIES OF MARRIAGE 2.

Sacramentum :: Indissolubility and Permanence The indissolubility of marriage is possible because God willed it so: “Let no one separate what God has joined.PROPERTIES OF MARRIAGE 3.” .

. Any priest. rabbi.WHO ARE AUTHORIZED TO SOLEMNIZE MARRIAGES? 1. Any incumbent member of the judiciary within the court’s jurisdiction. 2. or minister of any church or religious sect duly authorized by his church or religious sect and registered with the civil registrar general. acting within the limits of the written authority granted by his church or religious sect and provided that at least one of the contracting parties belongs to the solemnizing officer’s church or religious sect. imam.

4. consul or vice-consul in the case provided in Article 10 of the Family Code. 5.WHO ARE AUTHORIZED TO SOLEMNIZE MARRIAGES? 3. . during a military operation. Any military commander of a unit to which a chaplain is assigned. Any consul-general. Any ship captain or airplane chief only in the case mentioned in Article 31 of the Family Code. in the absence of the latter. likewise only in the cases mentioned in Article 32 of the Family Code.

unless these essential requites are present. . Legal capacity of the contracting must be a male and a female.WHT ARE THE ESSENTIAL REQUISITES OF MARRIAGE? No Marriage shall be valid. and parties who 2. 1. Consent freely given in the presence of the solemnizing officer.

A valid marriage license except in the cases where the same is exempted. A marriage ceremony which takes place with the appearance of contracting parties before the solemnizing officer and their personal declaration that they take each other as husband and wife in the presence of not less than two witnesses of legal age. . and 3. Authority of the solemnizing officer 2.WHAT ARE THE FORMAL REQUISITES OF MARRIAGE? The formal requisites of marriage are: 1.

HOW OLD MUST I BE TO GET VALIDLY MARRIED? Any male or female of the age of eighteen years or upwards not under any of the impediments mentioned in Articles 37 and 38. may contract marriage. .

4. 2. . Those solemnized without license. Those contracted by any party below eighteen years of age even with the consent of parents or guardians. Those solemnized by any person not legally authorized to perform marriages unless such marriages were contracted with either or both parties believing in good faith that the solemnizing officer had the legal authority to do so. 3. except those covered by the preceding Chapter.WHICH MARRIAGES DOES THE LAW CONSIDER VOID FROM THE VERY BEGINNING? 1. Those bigamous or polygamous marriages not failing under Article 41.

and 6. and .WHICH MARRIAGES DOES THE LAW CONSIDER VOID FROM THE VERY BEGINNING? 5. 8. at the time of celebration. Those subsequent marriages that are void under Article 53. shall likewise be void even if such incapacity becomes manifest only after its solemnization. A marriage contracted by any party who. Between ascendants and descendants of any degree. Those contracted through mistake of one contracting party as to the identity of the other. was psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations of marriage. 7.

Between brothers and sisters.WHICH MARRIAGES DOES THE LAW CONSIDER VOID FROM THE VERY BEGINNING? 9. up to the fourth civil degree. Between parents-in-law and children-in-law. 13. 14. 10. Between step-parents and step-children. Between the surviving spouse of the adopted child and the adopter. Between the adopting parent and the adopted child. whether of the full or half blood. Between collateral blood relatives whether legitimate or illegitimate.. . 11. 12.

. Between parties where one. Between an adopted child and a legitimate child of the adopter. or his or her own spouse. 17. with the intention to marry the other. killed that other person’s spouse. Between the surviving spouse of the adopted child and the adopter. 18. Between adopted children of the same adopter.WHICH MARRIAGES DOES THE LAW CONSIDER VOID FROM THE VERY BEGINNING? 15. 16.

Reception of Baptism and Confirmation • The sacrament of Baptism is the “door” to the sacraments. Determine the freedom of the parties. Pre-Nuptial Interview • Commonly known as “pre-marital investigation” to    Verify whether the contracting parties are sufficiently instructed in the Christian doctrine especially about marriage. Catechesis and Preparation • Pre-cana Seminar 2. . Verify the existence of any possible legal impediment that may render marriage invalid.CHURCH LAW ON MARRIAGE Pre-requisites for the Celebration of Marriage: 1. 3.

Documents • Baptismal (and Confirmation) Certificates of both parties • Marriage License • Permission to the Bride’s parish priest • Parental consent . Banns • Announcement either orally or in print in the parishes of the contracting parties.. 5. normally for 3 consecutive Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation before the wedding takes place.CHURCH LAW ON MARRIAGE Pre-requisites for the Celebration of Marriage: 4.

3.ESSENTIAL CHARACTERISTICS OF CHURCH LAW ON MARRIAGE THE CHURCH Mixed Marriages & Disparity of Cult: Canonical Requirements: 1. The observance of the Canonical Form. Both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage. 2. The declaration and promise by the Catholic party:     Catholic party will declare removal of any danger of falling away from faith. Permission to get married by the local ordinary. . The non-Catholic party should be informed of this promise. Promise to do all power to have all the children baptized and brought up on the Catholic Church.

PART II APPRECIATING GOD’S DESIGN FOR THE FAMILY .

It is the basic unit which serves as the link between the individual and society because every person’s earliest and longest experience takes place within the family.THE FAMILY IN TODAY’S REALITIES “The family is a universal and basic element in society. Nothing else can replace the family as a center for the psycho-social development of people and as the transmitter of culture.” .

DIFFERENT FORMS OF PRESSURES THAT THREATEN THE STABILITY OF THE FAMILY MATERIALISM HEDONISM CONSUMERISM SECULARISM .

The family is an instrument of peace. (The family proclaims.RESPONSE OF THE CHURCH: Renewal Movement “The family and the Church play an important role in the development of the community. serves and nurtures life.) . The family is PRO-LIFE.” The family radiates God’s love. The family is an agent of transformation of civilization. celebrates.

THE FAMILY AS A COMMUNITY OF LOVE AND LIFE CONJUGAL ACT: The Unifying Bond between Husband and Wife M A R K S & D E M A N D S Fully Human Fecund Total Exclusive & Faithful until Death .

” . The home prepares the individual for the more demanding relationship outside the family. and fundamental to the life of the society. the family is the first and the vital cell of the society. for the strength of a nation is parallel to the strength of its human members.PROMOTING PEACE AND JUSTICE IN THE FAMILY “The family is the smallest social unit. the family is the first school of humanity where “the parents are first and foremost educators of the child. Indeed. the basic component. Likewise.

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He is the only living species with the power of speech. it is his ability to communicate. . to feel important to be in good relationship with others.WHAT IS COMMUNICATION? It is a Basic Human Desire to express oneself whatever form it takes. to be recognized. to be understood. One wants to be listened to. If there is anything that gives man his special nature among all living things.

3 STYLES OF COMMUNICATION DIALOGUE DUOLOGUE MONOLOGUE .

TWO WAYS OF COMMUNICATION Verbal COMMUNICATION Nonverbal .

: sharing or exchanging ideas gathered from their work/profession and interests • Bringing out the child in them • Ex. Communicating non-verbally • A powerful means to affirm one’s spouse • Ex.: playfulness. facial expression 2. Communicating as children . adventure 3. laughter. postures. wonder.: gestures. Communicating as adults • Intellectual stimulation and newness • Ex.BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS COMMUNICATION: As an Expression of Man’s Nature 1. creativity.

Communicating mutual & diverse interests • Source of stimulation and growth in communication 8.BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS COMMUNICATION: As an Expression of Man’s Nature 7. Communicating socially • Being-in-and-with-the-world • Goes beyond the couples themselves to the world outside and brings the couples into communication with others .

BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS COMMUNICATION Listening Non-verbal signals Directness Clarity Husband-Wife Relation .

Communication builds up and develops an authentic relationship between couples: • Enables couples to express the love for each other.BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS Importance of Communication in Marriage 1. • Good communication minimizes & recognizes disagreements & differences. • Helps them keep in touch & support their lives together as husband & wife. .

No marriage will survive without it. • Open and honest communication puts charity.BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS Importance of Communication in Marriage 2. Communication is a way of creating a climate of faith. . • Good communication is a give and take. understanding and trust between couples: • “It is the breath of life” in marriage. listening and sharing. trust and faith into practice. love .

). Prayer as communication with God strengthens the marriage (relationship) and enables one to discern God’s will in life’s daily events. stays together. . • Communication with God in prayer is spending quality time with him personally as a family (A family that prays together. God’s grace is also received.BUILDING FAMILY RELATIONS Importance of Communication in Marriage 3. • In prayer.

To develop in them a Christ-like love of men not only a select few.A PARENT’S PRAYER  Lord give me wisdom to deal with our children as you would. to nurture in them a divine desire “to put in” and not simply “to take out” . to see in each of them Your Holy image.

God in training these dear ones Whom you have entrusted to our charge-help us To encourage rather than discourage them To discipline with kindness not softness .To teach them to be “go givers not “go-getters” O.

above all help-us To use common sense in regard to their future To let go gladly when the time comes.To guide them intelligently not blindly. To coach. to nudge not to nag. To let them lead their own lives While following them with our love. not to scold. Dear Lord. .

To pray always that they will be close to you. . Not only for the few years of this life but for the endless years of the eternity.