Listening : the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages; to hear something

with thoughtful attention  Effective communication is 2-way

◦ depends on speaking and listening

When you have ears, you can hear everything within hearing range; but that doesn’t necessarily mean you understand what you heard. Listening, on the other hand, is a skill.

Hearing- physical process; natural; passive Listening- physical & mental process; active; learned process; a skill Listening is hard!

You must choose to participate in the process of listening.

Listening…. the psychological process of receiving, attending to, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken or nonverbal messages

Hearing = physiological  Listening = psychological

We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-3000 wpm  75% of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful  20% of the time, we remember what we hear  More than 35% of businesses think listening is a top skill for success  Less than 2% of people have had formal education with listening

85% of what we know is from listening  45%of our time is spent on listening  A person recalls 50%of what they just heard  ….only 20%of it is remembered long term

Mode of Communication Writing Reading Speaking Listening

Formal Years of Training 12 years 6-8 years 1-2 years 0-few hours

Percentage of Time Used 9% 16 % 30% 45%

To be recognized and remembered  To feel valued  To feel appreciated  To feel respected  To feel understood  To feel comfortable about a want or need

Listening is the most powerful form of acknowledgment
…a way of saying, “You are important.”

Listening promotes being heard
‘Seek first to understand, then understood’
- Stephen Covey

be

Listening creates acceptance and openness
…conveys the message that “I am not judging you.”

Listening leads to learning
…openness encourages personal growth and learning

Listening reduces stress and tension
…minimizes confusion and misunderstanding, eliminating related stress and tension

Listening is CRITICAL in conflict resolution …much conflict comes from the need to be heard. Successful resolution depends on being a non-anxious presence.

Class exercise Mr Anjayah suffered with a heart attack on Monday night and was hospitalized on Tuesday ,staff took good care of him .He expired on Thursday ,the relatives blame the hospital for miss management .The head nurse and the doctor who operated on Mr. Anjayah left the hospital and joined a hospital in a small town very far away . Mark :True (T) 2. False (F) 3. Don’t know (DK) 1.59 yr old Mr. Anjayah was hospitalized the next day after he suffered from a heart attack 2.He died 3 days after the attack. 3.It was the fault of the head nurse and the doctor 4.They were suspended because Mr. Anjayah expired . 5.The hospital was disgraced after the incident 6.The staff took good care of him 7.The hospital struggled very long to get back its reputation

Equate With Hearing Uninteresting Topics Speaker’s Delivery External Distractions Mentally Preparing Response

Listening for Facts Personal Concerns Personal Bias Language/Culture Differences Faking Attention

Criticizing the subject or the speaker  Getting over-stimulated  Listening only for facts  Not taking notes OR outlining everything  Tolerating or creating distraction  Letting emotional words block message  Wasting time difference between speed of speech and speed of thought

Non-Verbal Encouragers Head nods ,wink ,blush ,frown , shrug

Verbal Encouragers Hmm! ,ok , really?, ha ha

… Allows you to make sure you hear the words and understand the meaning behind the words  Goal: go beyond listening to understanding

Definite Intent to Listen  Focus on the Speaker  Verbal and Non-Verbal Encouragers  Feedback Loop to Insure Accuracy

1. 2. 3.

4.

Listen Question ReflectParaphrase Acknowledge

   

To Feelings As Well As Words Focus on Speaker

◦ Words – Emotions -- Implications ◦ Don’t plan, speak, or get distracted ◦ Topic? Speaker? Listener? Others?

What Is Speaker Talking About?

Look At Speaker  Use Verbal & Non-Verbal Encouragers

3 Purposes

◦ Demonstrates you are listening ◦ Gather information ◦ Clarification ◦ Tell me more? ◦ How did you feel? ◦ Then what happened?

Open-ended

Reflect What Is Said (In your words)  Reflect Feelings  Reframe

◦ Capture the essence of the communication ◦ Remove negative framing ◦ Move toward problem solving

Get Speaker’s Consent to Your Reframing  Speaker Has Been Heard and Knows It!  Solution Is Near!

Speaker – talk for 2 min.  Listener – listen using the skills we’ve discussed  Observer – observe the application of the skills and take notes

Why is learning about listening important?

#1 Various aspects of life Relationships Academics Personal development Physical

 #2

◦ Helps speaker to understand audience

For Public Speaking

 #3

Helps us become better listeners and evaluators of public speaking.

#1 Discriminative- listening between the lines #2 Comprehensive- take it all in – not evaluate #3 Appreciative – pleasure #4 Empathic – to support, help, comfort #5 Critical – analyze, assign worth SIER Model worth React – assign Evaluate – judge Interpret - understand Sense - hear

6 bad habits - how do we fight them?
◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 Becoming distracted Faking attention – pseudo listening Being unprepared Prejudging the speaker Mentally arguing or jumping to conclusions

(defensive listening, ambushing, script writing)

◦ #6 Listening too hard
Trying to remember every detail- literal listening

6 Tools for critical thinking
◦ #1 Evaluate evidence ◦ #2 Analyze assumptions and bias ◦ #3 Resist; false dilemmas, overgeneralizations, either/or thinking ◦ #4 Identify contradictions ◦ #5 Consider multiple perspectives ◦ #6 Summarize and judge

Constant Interplay  Circular Response/ Can you adjust ?

◦ Length ◦ Lingo ◦ Examples ◦ Jokes/ Attention getters ◦ Mood

Selective Listening –
◦ Pay attention to interests ◦ Sort info on basis of what already know -schemata

External Obstacles
◦ Overload, complexity, noise

Internal Obstacles
◦ Preoccupation, prejudgment, lack of effort, not recognizing diverse listening styles

Non- listening

Active Listening
◦ Making a commitment to listening using effective listening habits in all kinds of communication settings.

Tools for active listening
◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ Set goals Focus effort Listen for thesis/essence Watch for non-verbal Evaluate evidence

Cut them some slack  Support first, critique second  Adjust to style  Be open minded and honest  Focus on what is being said

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