Chapter 5

Healthy Relationships: Communicating Effectively with Friends, Family, and Significant Others

Lecture Outline
Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education, Inc.

written by Bridget Melton, Georgia Southern University

Objectives
• Discuss ways to improve communication skills and interpersonal interactions. • Identify the characteristics of successful relationships, including how to maintain them and overcome common barriers. • Explore similarities and differences between men and women in communication styles and decision making. • Examine factors that are important in determining the success of an intimate relationship, and where to get help when a relationship has problems. • Discuss actions that can improve interpersonal interactions. • Examine factors that affect life decisions, such as whether to have children.
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Forming Intimate Relationships
• Characteristics of intimate relationships • Behavioral interdependence • Need fulfillment • Emotional attachment • Emotional availability • Intimate relationships are a means of need fulfillment. • Intimacy • Social integration • Nurturance • Assistance • Affirmation
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.How Intimate Is a Relationship? Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. Inc.

Being Self-Nurturant • Accountability • Responsible for your own decisions. . and actions • Self-nurturance • Realistic appreciation of self-worth and ability Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. choices. Inc.

.Families: The Ties that Bind • Family of origin comprises the people present in the household during a child’s first years of life. • Nuclear family consists of parents and their offspring. Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. Inc.

Establishing Friendships • What makes a good friendship? • Enjoyment • Acceptance • Respect • Mutual assistance • Confiding • Understanding • Spontaneity Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. Inc. .

sometimes to the point of extreme sacrifice • Being a champion or advocate: actively championing each other’s interests Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. love relationships include these characteristics: • Fascination: paying attention to the other person at the expense of other activities • Exclusiveness: giving the love relationship priority over all others • Sexual desire: desiring physical intimacy and wanting to touch. Couples • Along with the characteristics of friendship. Partners. hold. . and engage in sexual activities with each other • Giving the utmost: providing unlimited support when the other is in need. Inc.Significant Others.

1 . Figure 5.Common Bonds of Friends and Lovers Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. Inc.

Inc. .This Thing Called Love • Two types of love • Companionate or mature • Passionate or lust • Triangular Theory of Love • Intimacy • Passion • Decision and commitment Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education.

Activity Break: Turn to a Partner • In groups of two to three.) and reality? Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. adolescents. Inc. etc. books. • Is there only one right person for everyone? • How does society promote this soul mate notion? • How do we encourage children. and ourselves to believe there may be more than one person who would be a suitable partner? • How do we distinguish between lust and love? • How do we distinguish between fantasy (media. . answer the following questions.

• Factors that affect self-perception • Self-concept • Self-esteem Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. Inc.How Perception Affects Communication • Perception is the process by which people filter and interpret information from the senses to create a meaningful picture of the world. .

• Get to know yourself.Improving Your Communication Skills • Learn appropriate self-disclosure. • Become more accepting of yourself. . Inc. Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. • Choose a safe context for self-disclosure. • Be willing to discuss your sexual history—with your partner of course.

or combative. • Competitive. . Inc. listening: more interested in promoting our own point of view • Passive.Improving Your Communication Skills (cont. listening: genuinely interested in hearing and understanding the other person’s point of view • Active. listening: active in confirming our understanding before responding with our own new message Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education.) • Be a better listener. or attentive. or reflective.

• Touch • Gesture • Interpersonal space • Facial expressions • Body language • Tone of voice Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. both intentional and unintentional. .Nonverbal Communication • Nonverbal communication includes all unwritten and unspoken messages. Inc.

Inc. Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. • Follow up. • Implement the solution.Managing Conflict • Conflict is an emotional state that arises when the behavior of one person interferes with the behavior of another. . • Conflict-resolution strategies • Identify the problem or issues. • Generate several possible solutions. • Decide on the best solution.

questioning patterns. . and vocal influences that are based on gender. language interpretations and misinterpretations. interruption patterns. Inc. Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. • Understanding gender differences in communication patterns is the first step toward promoting effective communication.Gender Issues in Relationships • Genderlect is differences in word choices.

Inc. .Troubles Talk: How Men and Women Respond: Men Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education.

Inc. Figure 5.Troubles Talk: How Men and Women Respond: Women Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education.3b .

Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education.Activity Break: Match.com Ad • Get in all-male or all-female groups of four to five.com (3 to 4 minutes). . no need to repeat qualities. please put it on the board. Inc. • Create an online ad for Match. • After your group has come up with a list.

Picking Partners • Influenced by more than just chemical and psychological processes • Proximity • Similarities • Reciprocity • Physical attraction Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. . Inc.

Jealousy in Relationships • Jealousy is an aversive reaction evoked by a real or imagined relationship involving one’s partner and a third person. • Overdependence on the relationship • Severity of the threat • High value on sexual exclusivity • Low self esteem • Fear of losing control Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. Inc. .

Inc. .Committed Relationships • Marriage • Monogamy • Serial monogamy • Open relationship • Cohabitation • Common-law marriage • Gay and lesbian partnerships Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education.

In what ways does communication support a relationship? What happens when communication falters. Which of the brides do you think had the healthiest reaction? What do you think is the best way to deal with a negative event such as being left at the altar? 2. Inc. and what are strategies that can be used to overcome communication problems? Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. .ABC News Video: Jilted Brides Bounce Back | Jilted Brides Bounce Back Discussion Questions 1.

Inc.Staying Single Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. .

• Sharing power: Dynamics between men and women changed as women began enjoying their own financial success. Inc.Success in Relationships • Confronting couples issues • Changing gender roles: Modern society has very few gender-specific roles. • Unmet expectations: Not communicating our expectations can lead to disappointment and hurt. . Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education.

Inc. .Effects of Women’s Age and Ethnicity on Marriage Success Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education.

. Inc.Effects of Women’s Age and Ethnicity on Marriage Success (cont.) Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education.

Inc. however. . Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. • Children: Those with children often try to hang on to an “unhealthy” situation. divorce rate is 41 percent and decreasing.When and Why Relationships End • Divorce rates have been estimated to be 50 percent.S. • The U. • Socioeconomic scale: The lower they are on the SES. this is misleading. • Family history: Those with divorce in the family have a higher tolerance for divorce. the higher the likelihood of divorce. • Factors that influence divorce include: • Age: Younger couples are more likely to not succeed.

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Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. Inc. .

. Inc.Elements of Healthy Relationships • Trust • Predictability • Dependability • Faith • Behavior interpretation in the context of the relationship • Like your partner • Sexual intimacy • Shared and cherished history Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education.

.Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education. Inc.

000 to raise from birth to 17 years. Inc. . • Eighty percent of mothers work outside the home. • Children from a previous marriage • Add dynamics. chores. school.Having Children or Not? • Children are expensive • One child costs an estimated $250. can lead to stress • Work. and family obligations = FATIGUE Copyright © 2010 Pearson Education.