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THE NINE BEHAVIORAL SKILLS IN

INTRAPERSONAL
COMMUNICATIONS
by:
MARIBETH BROWN-OLIVER
Sources: The Art of Communicating (revised ed)
by Bert Decker (1988 Crisp Publications)
CLASS OBJECTIVES:
1. Explain why intrapersonal communication
is more an art rather than a science.
2. Understand the nine behavioral skills of an
effective intrapersonal communication.
3. Increase the effectiveness of communicating
with other people by changing one habit a
day.
4. Encourage practical feedback to ensure
what is being learned id applied.
SOME PERSONAL OBJECTIVES
Be effective in communicating oneself in
different situations like:

a job interview
a business meeting
a marriage proposal
a cocktail party
a project proposal
a speech for large
audience
a sales meeting
a thesis presentation
a debate
a stockholders meeting
a class with adult
learners
- PART ONE -
Some Points to Consider About
Intrapersonal Communications
WHY COMMUNICATING WITH OTHERS IS
CONSIDERED AN ART?
Before an artist becomes a master in his craft, one
has to learn the basic principles first, after which
he hones what he has learned in creating
masterpieces using his own style & creativity. That
is also the same way with communicating with
other people. After we learn the basics of the
English language, we then apply them using our
personality, creativity and tact. An effective
communicator often has unique techniques in
dealing which different kind of people.
WHY APPLY THE ART OF COMMUNICATION?
To save on the effort & time in communicating
something if we communicate with confidence &
tact.
We get the results or responses we want faster.
People will seldom misunderstand what you really
mean.
We gain a great deal of respect for ourselves and
from other people.
We earn more if we are confident in using
persuasive communication in business.


WHAT REALLY COUNTS IN
INTRAPERSONAL COMMUNICATIONS?
The key ingredient is BELIEVABILITY!
Students will believe what you are teaching if you
master the way you present lessons in class.
People will buy your product if they feel you are
sincere of what you saying.
Investors will lend you money if they know you are
credible and honest about your business.
Your children will respect you if they know you
mean what you say.



VERBAL? VOCAL? VISUAL?
The Consistent
Message

Verbal
25%
Vocal 35%
Visual 40%
total 100%


The Inconsistent
Message*

Verbal 07%
Vocal 38%
Visual 55%
total 100%


* According to Prof . Albert Merhabian, UCLA in those cases
we are under pressure or nervous about what want to tell, we
tend to block our content and give a very inconsistent
message. Example speak in trembling voice, cold, sweaty
hands. People then see what you acted like more than what
you are trying to say.
WHICH PART OF OUR BRAINS
SHOULD WE APPEAL FIRST?
First Brain
Instinctual & primitive
Emotional
Unconscious
Source of instinctive
survival responses like
Hunger, thirst, danger
or parental care.
New Brain
Intellectual & advanced
Rational
Conscious
Source of thought,
memory, language,
creativity and decision
making
SPEAK WITH THE FIRST BRAIN FIRST!
- PART TWO -
The Nine Behavioral Skills in
Intrapersonal Communication
1. EYE COMMUNICATION:

Intimacy, Intimidation & Involvement
-it means looking at a person for 10 seconds to a minute or more.
Five Seconds for More Effectiveness
-when you are trying to emphasize a point.
Beware of an Eye Dart
(like a scared rabbit!)
-we tend to look away and avoid looking at
a person when we feel nervous or
awkward.
Look sincerely and steadily with another person
EYE COMMUNICATION (CONT)
Beware of Slow-Blink
-Our eyelids tend to close for more than 2 seconds, saying
really dont want to be here!
Notice How TV Hosts Interview Guests
-having a role model is always the first step to take.
Try to Look on the Nose Bridge Right in the Middle of
the Eyes
-rather than looking strait in the eye which may feel awkward on
the part of the audience, try look on the forehead area. They will
stiff feel the eye contact minus the strain.
2. POSTURE & MOVEMENT
Lear to stand tall &b move naturally with ease.
Stand Tall
-Poor upper body posture reflects poor self-esteem.
Watch our Lower Body
-watch how your hip, legs and feet move when you are talking
to somebody.
Use the ready position
- ready position means putting your
weight forward.
POSTURE & MOVEMENT (CONT)
Move
-move a bit while talking like
making gestures & walk around.
Use your Own Style
- adapt what you have learned in posture &
movement in your own personal style.
Practice in front of a mirror or a friend.
3. GESTURES & FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
Learn to be relaxed & natural when you speak
Find-out your Habits
-videotape yourself while practicing a speech or lecture. Youll
notice more habit you sub-consciously practicing like jerking,
excessive hand movements & uttering sounds.
Find-out your Nervous Gestures
-list down the thing you do when you get
nervous. A close friend might help you
discover them. Dont emphasize on the
feeling of excitement. Do you tend to arm
lock at the person you talk to? Or you tend
to give a stop hand sign?
GESTURES & FACIAL EXPRESSIONS (CONT )
You Cant Over-Exagerate!
-Try to exaggerate your gesture, they surprisingly look
natural than limiting yourself.
Smile!
-A smile give ease & acceptance to the person you are
talking with. It also relieves intimidation & sincerity.
Remember your Personality Factor
-People will buy your ideas if they like you.
4. DRESS & APPEARANCE
to dress, to groom and appear appropriate to the environment as well as to yourself.
Be Appropriate
-You dont need to but any expensive suit. Any
professional and decent clothing you own will do.
Dress at Conscious Level
-Be conscious on what you wear. Look hard in the mirror if it
works for you. Walk around to see if it is comfortable to
wear.
Clothes Mean a Lot to your Audience
-what you wear communicates extensively on how you feel
about yourself.
DRESS & APPEARANCE (CONT)
Pick Five People
-Choose five people you know well and analyze the way they
dress & groom. Pick every detail (jewelry, glasses, make-up
etc). As you gain consciousness to other people, so you do to
yourself. Do some research.
Nobody will Tell You
-Very few people will tell you what they think about your
appearance out of politeness. So plan your clothing ahead of
time.
Pick a New Outfit, try a New Look
-youll never know how you will look unless you try a new one.
Consult a image/beauty expert on before trying a new haircut.
Department store have free trials on Make-up so take advantage!
5. VOICE & VOCAL VARIETY
Emphasize the Right Word
Now is the time to change
-emphasis is critically important depending on the word you
need to emphasize.
Call Companies
-Call five companies and analyze how each project a
welcoming tone for business. Try to model from them.
Record Yourself
-The best exercise to improve vocal skills is to record your
own voice. Learn breathing, pacing & enunciating while
speaking.
use your voice as an effective tool, not a barrier in communication .
6. LANGUGE, PAUSES & NON-WORDS
use appropriate and clear language for your listeners, with planned pauses and no
non-words.
Use Direct Language
- State want you ask & mean. Replace the phrases Ill try with I
will or We cant with You can .

Example B
Indirect: Im sorry, but we cant give you a discount
right now.
Direct: Discounts are currently unavailable but Ill let
you know the moment we have one.
Example A
Indirect: Ill try to submit the sales report this afternoon,
OK?
Direct: I will submit the report on your desk before
4PM, is that alright with you?
LANGUGE, PAUSES & NON-WORDS
Vocabulary Increases with Use
-our effectiveness in communication id graded by our
choice of word. Increase vocabulary through
incorporation of new words.
Beware of Jargon
-Share jargon only with people who understand the
same language.
The PauseA Important Tool
-Pause naturally for 3-4 seconds. I allows you to breathe and
think about your next moves. Replace you non-words with
pauses instead.
7. LISTENER INVOLVEMENT
Engage in Interaction
-Ask questions and their opinion. Limit the I & me
in the conversation. Be interested in other people.
Enhance Your Style
-Include a dramatic opening and visual aids. Maintain
eye contact & move around more.
Plan Content Ahead
-Always think of the benefits your conversation your
audience get from your listeners. Add a little humor.
maintain an active interest and involvement of each person with whom you are
communicating, whether a single person or a thousand.
8. HUMOR
Do Tell Stories and Anecdotes
-use personal stories and funny situations to connect
with your audience.
Dont Tell Jokes
-Unless your really an effective teller, do not tell jokes
in formal situations.
Be aware of Feedback
-Feedback is a good guide on making yourself improve
on humor.
Create a bond with your listeners, enabling them to enjoy listening to you more.
9. THE NATURAL SELF
Communicating is a Lifelong Process
-Language is an ever-evolving tool just like fashion. So does
communication always get ahead with the changes.
Learn Like a Juggler
-Learn one skill at a time & add them once they become
a habit.

GOOD LUCK!
be authentic. To be yourself in all circumstances, understanding your streangths &
converting weaknesses into assets.