Managing Self :

Dealing with Anger

BELIEVING IS SEEING
Facilitator of Growth
(Behavior)
DSL Program: family
School-Religion
Response-able
(Feeling)
I am Ok
(Belief)
By Dr. Juan Kanapi
DSL Program, September 2010
FLOW
(Lifestyle)
ORIGINAL
BLESSINGS
ORIGINAL SIN
POSITIVE
CORE
Survivor- manipulator
(Behavior)
Family School-
Religion
Victim-hood
(Feeling)
I am not Ok
(Belief)
Struggle
(Lifestyle)
TRANSFORMATION
Challenging Negative Self-Talk

ABCDE MODEL
A Adversity An Undesired event
B Beliefs Unconscious explanation of
how reality operates
C Consequen
ces
Experience of Fear, anxiety,
deflation , frustration , sadness
D Disputation Challenging of beliefs
E Energizatio
n
New behavior as a result of
the disputation process
Disputation Process
Evidence What is the evidence for or against belief?

Alternatives

What are other ways of looking at adversity?

Implication

If the worst scenario is right , What is the worst
that can realistically happen?
Usefulness Will thinking about the problem now do me
good? If not,
Write down the troublesome thought
Schedule a specific time for thinking
things over
After these, shift your focus and do other
things.
Growing from Anger

Basic Elements of Anger

A reality is unexpected.
A desire/value is
threatened or Violated by
the reality.
There is an absence of full
control or powerlessness
over that reality.
Reality is experienced as
physically or
psychologically unpleasant.
Reality is perceived as
wrong & rejected
Managing Anger






Anger: The Misunderstood
Emotion
Managing Anger What Does
Not Works
Verbal aggression that
provokes the other
Cathartic expression
against a superior
Reciting grievances to a
3 party who encourages
your anger
Expression that makes a
stressful situation worse
Keeping the emotion in
that allows a stressful
situation to continue

Managing Anger What Works


Physiological relaxation
exercises

Anger will simmer down if you
wait long enough count to 10

Reinterpret a supposed
provocation disputation
process

Humor transform injustice
into absurdity

Calm, non-aggressive feedback
about your anger use I
messages

Managing Anger What Works

Assertiveness training
Ventilating anger is
cathartic only if it
Restores your sense of
control
Reduces your belief that
you are
helpless,powerless

Go for therapy to bring into
consciousness psychological
traumas, embedded in the
unconscious, which makes
one vulnerable to
unproductive anger.
Questions
1. What are the most important things
that you learned about yourself as a
person, as a School Head?
2. How do you feel about yourself as of
now?
3. What are some things that you will
do in order to make a better person, a
better School Head?