CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

• Conflict resolution is the ideal.

• Conflict management is the reality.

How Do You Manage Conflict?

How Do You Manage Conflict?
• Avoid

How Do You Manage Conflict?
• Avoid • Appease

How Do You Manage Conflict?
• Avoid • Appease • Compromise

How Do You Manage Conflict?
• • • • Avoid Appease Compromise Collaborate

How Do You Manage Conflict?
• • • • • Avoid Appease Compromise Collaborate Dominate

Degrees of Assertiveness and Cooperation
Dominate Collaborate

Assertiveness
Avoid

Compromise Appease .

Cooperation
• From Thomas, in Dunnette- Handbook of Organizational Psychology 1983

Sources of Conflict

Sources of Conflict
• FACTS/DATA – Easy to solve

Sources of Conflict
• FACTS/DATA – Easy to solve • RESOURCES – Focus on needs

Sources of Conflict
• FACTS/DATA – Easy to solve • RESOURCES – Focus on needs • PROCESS/POWER – Consult and listen

Sources of Conflict
• FACTS/DATA – Easy to solve • RESOURCES – Focus on needs • PROCESS/POWER – Consult and listen • VALUES – “Believe my way.”

Sources of Conflict
• FACTS/DATA – Easy to solve • RESOURCES – Focus on needs • PROCESS/POWER – Consult and listen • VALUES – “Believe my way.” • PERSONALITIES – Unnecessary junk

Raising conflict is often more difficult than resolving it.

RAISING CONFLICT
• Timing

RAISING CONFLICT
• Timing
– Yours – Theirs – Check it

RAISING CONFLICT
• Timing • Depersonalize
– Don’t attack – Don’t defend – Neutral, simple, direct – Avoid pronouns

RAISING CONFLICT
• Timing • Depersonalize • Focus on behavior
– Cause and effect – General patterns – Specific examples – Without blame

RAISING CONFLICT
• • • • Timing Depersonalize Focus on behavior Forget being right
– No rights, no wrongs – “I was more right.” – Not a debate or trial

RAISING CONFLICT
• • • • • Timing Depersonalize Focus on behavior Forget being right Focus on the future
– Shared goals – History hurts – No thanks for these memories

RAISING CONFLICT
• • • • • • Timing Depersonalize Focus on behavior Forget being right Focus on the future Don’t try to solve the problem

RAISING CONFLICT
• • • • • • Timing Depersonalize Focus on behavior Forget being right Focus on the future Don’t try to solve the problem
– Not yet – Not quite yet – Still not quite yet

RAISING CONFLICT
• • • • • • • Timing Depersonalize Focus on behavior Forget being right Focus on the future Don’t try to solve the problem Be prepared to listen

RAISING CONFLICT
• • • • • • • Timing Depersonalize Focus on behavior Forget being right Focus on the future Don’t try to solve the problem Be prepared to listen
– Problem may be different – Work together – Invite solutions

EMOTIONAL

CONFLICT SUBSTANTIVE

SOLUTION

EMOTIONAL

SUBSTANTIVE

EMOTIONAL

SUBSTANTIVE

EMOTIONAL

SUBSTANTIVE

Moving Beyond Emotion (Theirs)
Outbursts, rage, yelling, stomping, throwing, crying, withdrawal, threats, proclamations, meltdowns

Outbursts, rage, yelling, stomping, throwing, crying, withdrawal, threats, proclamations, meltdowns

How do you respond?

Outbursts, rage, yelling, stomping, throwing, crying, withdrawal, threats, proclamations, meltdowns Respond, don’t react. Calm patience. Don’t save them (meetings). Listen.

Moving Beyond Emotion (Yours)
Depersonalize – no pronouns Neutralize – “I am not a crook.” Unbutton – Disengage Deflect – Humor, stall, diversion

MANAGING OTHERS’ CONFLICT
THREE CRITICAL COMPONENTS

MANAGING OTHERS’ CONFLICT
THREE CRITICAL COMPONENTS • OUTCOME

MANAGING OTHERS’ CONFLICT
THREE CRITICAL COMPONENTS • OUTCOME • FAIR PROCESS

MANAGING OTHERS’ CONFLICT
THREE CRITICAL COMPONENTS • OUTCOME • FAIR PROCESS • RESPECTFUL TREATMENT

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