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COMMUNICATION WITH PARENTS

,
TEACHERS AND PEERS
A SKILL DEVELOPMENT SESSION
FOR STUDENTS

Mrs E Manchula Mary
Counselling Psychologist
9560883440

Communication - Meaning
Communication is a dynamic process…
through this process we convey a thought

or feeling to someone else.
how it is received depends on a set of
events, stimuli, that person is exposed to.
how you say, what you say, plays an
important role in communication.

Communication is a Series of Experiences of Hearing Smell Seeing Taste Touch .

Why Communications Skills Are So Important ? The purpose of communication is to get your message across to others. . This process leaves room for error. a message is successful only when both the sender and the receiver perceive it in the same way.   In fact. This is a process that involves both the sender of the message and the receiver. with messages often misinterpreted by one or more of the parties involved. This causes unnecessary confusion and counter productivity.

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channel.Why Communications Skills Are So Important ? Communication barriers can pop-up at every stage of the communication process (which consists of sender. feedback and context ) and have the potential to create misunderstanding and confusion. receiver. message. .

How do you go about Establishing Rapport? You You You You You need must must must must Self-Confidence Understand People be Enthusiastic make Eye Contact be Interested in them .

. choosing our words carefully and matching them with our body language. .Communication Is Affected By.. effective communication includes active listening.  Personal Factors  mood  energy level / fatigue  body language  Environment  noise  temperature  other distractions  Whether we use old technology or new.

Barriers in Communication (that have to do with the COMMUNICATOR) Unwillingness to say things differently Unwillingness to relate to others differently Unwillingness to learn new approaches Lack of Self-Confidence Lack of Enthusiasm Voice quality Prejudice .

Barriers in Communication (that have to do with the COMMUNICATOR) Disagreement between verbal and non-verbal messages Negative Self Image Lack of Feedback Lack of Motivation and Training Language and Vocabulary Level Lack of Self Awareness .

Barriers in Communication (that have to do with the RECEIVER) Selective Perception Unwillingness to Change Lack of Interest in the Topic/Subject Prejudice & Belief System Rebuttal Instincts Personal Value System Here-and-Now internal & external factors .

External Barriers in Communication Environment The venue The effect of noise Temperature in the room Other People – Status. Education Time .

Rights and Responsibilities Each of us has the right and the responsibility to: Be listened to Acknowledge the concerns of others Say what we feel and think Say "No" to something we don't want to do or don't believe in. without feeling guilty Say "I need time to think about that" Negotiate to resolve differences .

Listening Active listening sends the message that you want to understand what is being said. Being a good listener builds healthy relationships . and the person speaking is important to you.

understanding the message and relating to it. interpreting when necessary. By Asking Questions .Improving Listening Skills By not being Preoccupied Being Open Minded & Non Defensive Minimizing Interruptions Effective Listening is: Hearing.

You frown and say nothing.  I found my shirt on the floor in your room and it needs to be washed.. (yelling) You borrowed my new shirt and got stuff all over it! You're so stupid! I hate you!  your favorite shirt that was left rumpled on the floor after your roommate borrowed it. I need my shirt cleaned and returned today..Which style works best? Which style would you like to receive? Consider these styles of communication:  YOU DID IT AGAIN. And you slam the door. I'm angry that you didn't return it or take care of it. Then you think (but don't say): That's the last time I lend you anything .I don't care how many times you ask.  Thanks a lot! I'll wash my shirt myself. .

Speaks in a shy or timid voice. makes demands. frowns. uses sarcasm. apologizes.Communication Styles Passive Hesitates. Ignores feelings of others. or mumbles. calls names. clenches fist. gives in or says nothing. . exaggerates. swears. Makes glaring eye contact. Aggressive Interrupts. Yells. Makes little eye contact. blames.

.g.  Expresses anger through body language or actions (e.  Makes steady eye contact. firm voice.  Ignores the problem for the present but there may be an argument later.  Uses an upright confident body posture and a pleasant.  Assertive  Speaks clearly and firmly using statements. facial expression or slamming a door) instead of through words. then makes plan to get even.  Shows respect for self and for others.  Avoids eye contact.Communication Styles  Passive-Aggressive  Initially apologizes.

•You act in your own best interests but still consider the needs and rights of others. •You develop trust and equality in your relationships. How Assertive am I? . •You ask for help when you need it...Being Assertive Means. •You express your feelings and your rights clearly.

. Describe the action you need to see.  Say what you need. as you make your point. The same 3 steps are a great way to compliment. Give just the facts.  Say how you feel. angry. happy. and a promise or it will happen. support and encourage someone you care about.. For example: sad. Being assertive builds healthy relationships. the tone of your voice and a smile. afraid.Message .. commitment that Sometimes you can decrease tension in problem situations with humour.in 3 Simple Steps  Describe the situation and how it affects you.

"Difficult" people. .  Difficult People  However.Tips on Being Assertive  Make eye contact.  Use a pleasant firm voice.  Choose the best time and place . even when we use great communication skills.  Call the other person by name.sometimes. and reasonable people who are very stressed (that's all us of from time to time) do not always respond the way we want them to. the world is not made up of all reasonable people. it works best to ask for a few minutes to speak to the other person in private.  Use confident-looking posture.

The more often you use comebacks.such when you know there's a safety or health risk. In some situations . .Handling Pressure and Saying "NO!"  Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt pressured to do something you didn't want to do?  Lines are the pressure statements that people throw at you when they want you to do something. good comebacks are useful in getting someone who is pressuring you off your back. Other times. the easier it gets. or when it's against the law the best comeback is "No" and you don't even have to explain.

Neither lines nor comebacks build healthy relationships. but your feelings (your intuition or your "gut" reaction) tell you something is not right. Try to get you to do something you don't believe in.First . May sound like jokes. Try to persuade.recognize when you're being thrown a line Statements that may seem logical. but usually leave you feeling embarrassed or scared. manipulate and control other people. . or simply don't want to do.

If the criticism is constructive and accurate 2.  Take steps to correct the situation. I'll fix it.  Assert yourself in reply to any insult.  Take steps to correct the situation.  Q: You missed an important part in your report. If the criticism is accurate but not constructive Acknowledge your mistake and accept its accuracy. I'm sorry I missed that.  Apologize. Thanks for telling me. .  Acknowledge your mistake.Handling Criticism From Another Person 1. And no. I'll fix it. What an idiot! A: Yes. Q: You missed the most important section in your report. I did miss an important section. that does not make me an idiot. A: You're right.

. you're gonna mess everything up even more doing it that way.but I've checked things out and I'm comfortable with the idea. and its accuracy is  Ask for ideas. Q: You're allways late. but it's only been once this month. 4. If the criticism is  Find some small way to agree. A3: You have a better way. you could be right . Correct the misperception.3. A: When has this been a problem? I know you think I'm always late.. what is your idea? .. It's a stupid idea! A1: It's possible. I may have new problems to deal with and I've thought about how I'll handle them if they do occur. A2: Yes.. If the criticism is inaccurate   Ask for more info.. a matter of opinion Q: I can't believe what you're doing. unkind. I can't depend on you at all..

. Two sides working together to solve a problem often arrive at a better solution than if each side worked alone.Resolving Conflict Conflict is a part of the range of interactions we have with other people. Resolving conflict often leads to a stronger relationship.

Resolving Conflict Watch Out for Communication Blocks. Arguing Withdrawing Blaming or accusing Not listening Changing the subject ...

. such as perfection  Cool Down Time  Take 4 or 5 deep breaths. laugh.. change your focus... . go for a walk..  Discharge the adrenaline with some exercise. listen to music...  Talk yourself down.  Jumping to conclusions  Mind reading  Unrealistic expectations..  Buy yourself some time with "I need some time to think about this".  Clear your mind for some creative solutions...  Put the brakes on hostile thoughts.Resolving Conflict  Try to Avoid...

Use "I" messages  Describe the situation and how it affects you  Say how this makes you feel  Paraphrase .Increase Your Skill  1. Listen to understand  Respect the values of others  Ask questions to clarify  Paraphrase .confirm you have understood  Say what you need to see happen . Come up with a plan  Agree on the problem to be solved  Choose the time and place  Agree not to interrupt  2.confirm you have understood  3.

?????? THANK YOU .