WHY KAMA SUTRA, PORN AND GOSSIP ARE BAD WAYS TO LEARN

ABOUT SEX
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WHY TALK ABOUT SEX & PORNOGRAPHY?
12 200 4.2 25% 11 80% 53% 28% 1 out of 3

«Billion dollars per year on porn in US «Porn movies made in US per week «Million porn websites «Of internet searches are for porn «Average age of first exposure to porn «Of 15-17 yr olds have seen hardcore «Of men consume porn «Of women consume porn «Of us are using porn regularly
Although these stats are for Christians the numbers are not very different For people of other faiths.
Source: In the Shadow of the Net by Patrick Carnes

WE ARE HIT WITH PORN ON SO MANY FRONTS
books magazines (advertisements, playboy, etc) internet (porn readily available, even unsolicited, addictive, a click away)

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WHY TALK ABOUT KAMA SUTRA?

In contemporary times, it has become one of the most recognized names and sources for trying out creative sex. It is unfortunately outdated, and some aspects of it Un-Islamic.

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WHAT IS PORNOGRAPHY?

Any sexually explicit material that makes you or your spouse focus on something other than each other is harmful. It is sexual excitement as an end to it self, rather than a way to both reach closeness When a husband watches another woman on celluloid screen and then makes love to his wife he gives his wife his body but gives the image on the TV his heart and mind Its like sexual decapitation Pornography then is similar to adultery, you are fantasizing sharing intimacy with a stranger Recently home made porno films are popular made with spouse. They make there way on internet. If guy down the street wants to see your wife taking her clothes off on film why are you bored with her? Answer is you are already familiar with her and know the routine (Notes from Kosher Sex)

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A LITTLE MORE CONTEXT
We live in an overexposed society of sex Sex thrives when it is somewhat concealed and hidden and involves imagination It is like negative of photo, . It loses color thru overexposure That is why a body clothed in lingere is more erotic than a nude one It invites fantasy and exploration Health society reduces amount of explicit material In Amsterdam's red light district, people who see sex shows come out bored. It dulls rather than heightens their interest in sex. It makes sex a commodity rather than something to strive for

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BEWARE OF THE DANGERS OF PORNOGRAPHY!
It

is a powerful force of destruction of marriages leading many married couples to divorce. It easily can become an addiction that will enslave and destroy you. EARLY EXPOSURE Most people who get addicted to porn start early. They see porn when they are very young and it gets its foot in the door. PORN ADDICTION You keep coming back to porn. It becomes a regular part of your life. You're hooked and can't quit.

THE PROGRESSION OF PORN ADDICTION.

ESCALATION You start to look for more graphic pornography. You start using porn that disgusted you earlier. Now, it excites you.

DESENSITIZATION You start to become numb to the images you see. Even the most graphic porn doesn't excite you any more. You become desperate to feel the same thrill again, but you can't find it. ACTING OUT SEXUALLY This is the point where people make a crucial jump and start acting out the images they have seen. Some move from the paper and plastic images of porn into the real world, with real people, in destructive ways.

CONSEQUENCES OF COMPULSIVE CYBERSEX
Loss of time for work, family, recreation Family violence / relationship loss Loss of job because of cybersex at work Guilt and shame due to keeping secrets Decreased interest in sex with spouse Increased preoccupation with sex Increased overall sexual objectification Children potentially exposed to porn Increased interest in deviant sex Potential arrest for illegal online sex Escalation to off-line sex

PORNOGRAPHY & VIOLENCE ARE LINKED
Types of pornography according to the level of violence 1. Soft-core pornography / nudity (Playboy etc.) 2. Hard-core pornography (non-violent sexual acts) 3. Violent pornography (bondage, spanking; obviously with consent) 4. Rape-pornography (use of violence / force obviously without consent)
(Boeringer 1994)

SEX AND GOSSIP

Ever heard about the telephone game? That·s where one person passes a message to another who passes it to another, and in a few degrees of separation, the heart and soul of the message is lost. You wouldn·t go to a quack for good medical advice, so why entrust something so important to heresy? Not only sex is a private matter that shouldn·t be discussed casually, it is also a personal experience. What works for one person most probably won·t work for the other.

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WHY KAMA SUTRA IS BAD
It covers unashamedly romance and marriage, which is OK to a degree It is not useful for the time and place we live in Kama Sutra was compiled in 4th century AD It is a compilation of Brahman scholars and other religious scholars called Vatsayayana

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WHY KAMA SUTRA IS BAD
However once it gets into adultery, bigamy, group sex, prostitution, homosexuality, and sadomasochism, it is out of bounds (all of which are haram/forbidden) As I udnderstand it Muslims, we can take anything that is not contradictory or forbidden in our faith, but much of the Kama Sutra is purely wrong and or useless

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WHY KAMA SUTRA IS BAD

Kama Sutra only gives a male perspective It was written as a guidebook for upper-class coming of age young men Advice and etiquette of dealing with prostitutes, seduction and the like are again out of bounds in Islam There are 64 positions in the Kama Sutra, and although a few are practical, most are not.

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THE JOY OF SEX AND SIMILAR BOOKS

Books like this may have good advice and guidelines but what is most problematic are the photos and high resolution illustrations, which are another form of pornography. Plus you have to know what is forbidden or guidelines of Islam to know what to take

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ON THE SUBJECT OF MOVIES & PORN
Hollywood and its cousins in the media are businesses whose job is to entertain, sensationalize, and sell their wares Sex in film is raunchy and does not reflect real human beings. It is all about performance, sight and sound and not about intimacy, affection, and the well being of your spouse They are not looking out in your best interest

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ON THE SUBJECT OF MOVIES & PORN
Seeing a couple supposedly perform sex is voyeurism Besides taking a private event public, it is troubling to the heart and soul. Why be a sinful spectator, when you can be gaining blessings by having lawful sex with your spouse Why would you want to visualize, another man or woman that you are making love to, when you can both imagine and practice with your spouse Why gain sin, when you can get reward by doing that which Allah and his Prophet have permitted and encouraged.

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ON THE SUBJECT OF MOVIES & PORN
Porn objectifies women, as purely a piece of flesh to be used and discarded Like the Kama Sutra, Porn provides a male perspective, and what supposedly should turn them on. It is addictive like drugs, with harm for the family and faith. If you watch enough porn ,that will become your standard to look up to, which is totally false. The key to great sex isn·t porn its in the intimacy, foreplay, respect for each other and having Taqwa (including fear, love, guidance and presence of Allah)

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ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE ON PORNOGRAPHY
Don't follow Satan At several places in the Quran, God warns us not to follow the steps of Satan: "He will incite you for shameful things (fuhsha) and encourage you to do universally accepted wrong things (al-munkar) Quran 24:21 Sayings of the Prophet: Hadith No man or woman should look at the naked body of each other (unless married). Sahih Muslim For more information got to:

http://www.soundvision.com/Info/life/porn/isporn.asp

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NEVER TAKE YOUR CUES ABOUT SEX FROM PORNOGRAPHY, MOVIES, AND MAGAZINES

Examples: Immoral or unreal fantasies
Video taping or taking pictures of your spouse. Even if you are married, relationships can sour, or there are plenty of celebrity stories whose sex videos have turned up on the Internet, don·t be black-mailed into your spouse eg ´if you love me, or its my right,« (There is no obedience in disobedience of Allah) y Deep-throat (Oral-sex). The mouth is 2-3 inches, the Penis can extend 5-6. Even if you want to do it, real way is not the way portrayed in film, your would choke and or hurt your spouse.
y
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NEVER TAKE YOUR CUES ABOUT SEX FROM PORNOGRAPHY, MOVIES, AND MAGAZINES

Examples: Immoral or unreal fantasies
Anal sex is forbidden in Islam, it is painful and unnatural, yet it is portrayed in nearly all books on sex and hard core films y Hard core- Bondage. People have ended up in hospital and or embarrassing situations y Intimate relationship in Islam is sacred. Not for display, abuse or exploitation of spouse
y

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WHY PORN IS BAD
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Brings about shame and hiding It takes away focus from people in your life Eats lots of time It diminishes your capacity to think and focus Can get expensive financially, emotionally, and socially Creates skewed perceptions of reality for real life relationships, leading to disappointment

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WHY PORN IS BAD
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Looking at porn is selfseeking. We ought to look to the needs of others Guilt causes one to avoid gathering with other believers which affects their lives Pornography feeds the lonely deprived spots of a person's mind but does not fulfill the need A part of you dies when using porn; one gives away a piece of their soul to object of lust

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WHY PORN IS BAD CONTD.
Loss of innocence, which is a hard thing to regain Dependency on porn is self-perpetuating. Addictive. Self hatred (shame)/ self esteem issues Can cause anxiety The glorification of the ´perfectµ body can make a person feel ashamed of her/his own It is degrading

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WHY PORN IS BAD CONTD.
Creates a fear of having a real relationship Makes you afraid of God rather than reverence for God Never satisfies, just feel worse afterwards Destroys vision and purpose in life Images are permanent in one·s memory

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WHY PORN IS BAD CONTD.
Validates violence against and exploitation of women and children Separates sex from true sexual intimacy, trivializes what God made as serious Promotes casual sex without addressing the consequences (emotional and physical - stds, etc.) Porn encourages users to think of the people as objects. Desensitizes to the vulnerability of real people by emphasizing personal gratification

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WHY PORN IS BAD CONTD.
Pornography diminishes the value of the intimacy between husband and wife Pornography puts a wall between people due to mistrust, guilt, shame, and disappointment Instead of healing old emotional scars, it creates new ones in all people involved Causes pain to everyone It·s just not cool!

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EXAMPLE OF HOW SHAITAN (SATAN) ATTACKS US

When we are«

H ungry A ngry L onely T ired E nvious D iscouraged

MUSIC ² WHAT DO YOU THINK?

NEGATIVE: some filled promoting sexuality, civil disobedience, degradation of women, girl power,profanity, drunkenness, drugs, etc.
But what they are really selling to their mostly pre-pubescent audiences is adult sexualityµ

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MUSIC ² WHAT DO YOU THINK?

´Our music is calculated to drive the kids to sex. It's not my fault what they do. It's up to them. I'm just making a lot of money. . .µ Mick Jagger

WOULD YOU WANT MY GARBAGE DUMPED IN YOUR LIVING ROOM? WHAT ABOUT THE WORLD·S 31 GARBAGE IN YOUR MIND?

WHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVES?
Here are a few good books on sex A Celebration of Sex Great Sex

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FOR MORE DETAILS ON ISLAM AND SEX
Please

go to

http://islamsexlove.wordpress.com/

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