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What is communication?
the activity or process of expressing ideas and feelings or of giving people information Include sending and receiving message methods of sending information, especially telephones, radio, computers, etc. or roads and railways
The purpose of communication
The most important purpose of communication is that you want to transfer a message to someone else. No matter verbally or non-verbally.
Methods of communication
Verbally: speech and words Non-verbally: actions, body
language, facial expression, eyecontact.
Barriers to communication
Judging Sending solutions Avoiding the others¶ concern
Imposing your values on another person and formulating solutions to their problems.
Criticizing : ³Don't you understand anything?´ Name-calling :That¶s because you¶re lazy´ Diagnosing :³You¶re not really interested in this subject´ Praising evaluatively or using praise to manipulate a person:³ With a little more effort you can do a lot better´
Impede communication even though the listener shows a concern and a desire to help. By sending solutions we make individuals dependent on us and deny them the opportunity to practice decision-making skills. We also convey to them that their feelings, values and problems are not important
Ordering: ³You will study two hours a day.´ Threatening: ³If you don¶t do this,«« ´ Moralizing: ³You should do this,««´ Excessive/Inappropriate Questioning: ³Where did you go? What did you do? Who were you with?´
Avoiding the others¶ concern
It means the problem is never addressed by the listener The individual¶s feelings and concerns are not taken into account. The listener does not want to deal with the fears, anxieties and worries of the individual
Advising: ³It would be best if you««´ Diverting: ³What sport are you playing this term?´ Logical Argument: ³The only way to improve your results is to study more.´ ~The emphasis is on facts, feelings are avoided. Reassuring: ³It will all work out´ ~Making the person feel better but not dealing
with the problem
What does assertive means?
Both others and oneself feel easy Mutual respect Get what one wants Do not hurt others High self-confidence Feel being in control Honest to oneself and others.
Skills of being assertive
Know your rights Know what you want to say and say it directly, specifically and as soon as possible Assert your preferences appropriately (not sarcastic) Review your behavior
Self-respect Pursue happiness and satisfaction of own needs, defend own rights and personal space without abusing or dominating others. Confirm own worth and dignity as well as others¶ Stand up for own rights and express needs in direct and appropriate ways but not violate the needs of the others
Acknowledge own thoughts and feelings Being positive towards others Absence of defensiveness, knowledge own limit Use the right amount of strength
Skills of sending message
Knowing what you want to say Appropriate Time, Place, language and way of saying it Keep it simple Speaking clearly Monitoring the others¶ response Summarizing your points periodically
Skills of receiving
Active listening: clarification, paraphrasing and reflect of feelings Attending to the content and feeling behind the words Listening positively
Do not respect own needs and rights Do not express honest feelings, needs, values and concerns Allow others to violate their space, deny their rights and ignore their needs Express needs in an apologetic manner
Verbal communication not clear Non-verbal communication: shrug shoulder, lack of eye-contact, very soft voice, hesitate speech Habitually invite others to take advantage of themselves.
Express feelings, needs and ideas at the expense of others Always with argument May speak loudly and may be abusive, rude and sarcastic Tend to overpower others Stems from feelings of threat and powerlessness Protect own rights and ignore others¶ May insult others Self-defensive or hostile attitude Do not consider others¶ rights when make decision
Reflection: Styles of communication
Placating Blaming Irrelevant Super Reasonable Congruent
Sacrificing individual needs for the sheer pleasure or approval of the others Low Self-esteem
Low self esteem and feel that others do not care much about oneself Exert power and authority (unreasonably / excessively) to make people understand how important they are
Very low self esteem Believe that others would not think highly of them and thus become flippant May bring about damage to many occasions
Want others to acknowledge that one is highly intelligent Like quoting a lot of morals or sayings to show how knowledgeable they are when interacting with the others Not affectionate, emotionally distant from others Do not know how to love and being loved
Capable of respecting oneself and others Honest in communication with others Can be trustworthy Confident Good emotion management (high EQ) Positive problem-solving regimes in the face of crisis.