SECRETS OF HAPPY LIVING

Kiruthigha .E.B
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MBA 09053

Sankar Rajan MBA 09091 Saraswat Bhattacharya MBA 09093 Vinay Gupta MBA 09121 Vivek Ramdas MBA 09123

WHY IS HAPPY LIFE SO
IMPORTANT
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LOOK AROUND YOU ,LOOK AT YOURSELF
Look at a bookstore , is the personal development and self help books are growing at an alarming rate Do you find many shows and columns in newspaper too improve life ,reduce stress Why is there so much importance attached today to work life balance,(did you find your grandparents ever talk about it)

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Almost Daily !!!! 4 . LOOK AT YOURSELF How many times have we come across people with anxiety disorder People with addictions THE ANSWER: Many times .LOOK AROUND YOU .

THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION POINTS OUT «. 30% of the adult population suffer from recognized psychiatric disorder Depression is the fourth biggest disease and by 2020 it will become the second biggest 1 in 4 adults suffer from serious addictions 1 in 2 people will go through a stage in life where they consider suicide 1 in 10 people attempt suicide 5 ..

WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO BE HAPPY 6 .

LETS TAKE A JOURNEY BACK IN TIME Primitive human mind being ² was to look out for any danger and avoid it or kill it.survival Another important aspect ²Must belong to a clan The stone age persons ambition-The more the better Comparing amongst members to identify the chief 7 .

will we get cancer (oh no!!!) We need to have more money. power to be accepted in society We keep comparing to identify our worth 8 .AND WE CONTINUE DOING THIS EVEN TODAY Our mind is in constant look out for trouble Is it good or bad ? Dangerous or safe Our we going to lose our jobs. embarrass our selves in public.

THE EVOLUTION OF MAN Our mind has evolved over the last thousand years. since the very first species Our minds evolved to help us survive With each generation our mind has become extremely skilled at predicting danger and avoiding danger So evolution has shaped or mind to suffer psychologically 9 .

SO WHAT IS HAPPINESS 10 .

THERE ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT MEANINGS A feeling of gratification ² we all enjoy happy feeling so no wonder we chase The True meaning of happiness is: A rich. where are actions come from our values close to our heart 11 . full and meaningful life .

THE HAPPINESS TRAPS 12 .

CERTAIN MYTHS ABOUT HAPPINESS Myth 1: happiness is a natural state for all human beings Myth 2: If you re not happy you are defective Myth 3: To create a better life . we must get rid of negative feelings Myth4 : You should be able to control what you think and feel 13 .

This amazing ability helps us control our environment Breaking News: This will work in material world. our career . the food we eat.urges memories 14 . but what about our internal world ²thoughts .THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL The Mind enables us to shape our world ²the things we want..

CAN WE CONTROL OUR INNER WORLD Here is a simple experiment: 15 .

We can control but we have very little control over our inner mind Culture teach us to control our feelings. thoughts etc 16 .

THE ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY 17 .

DIFFUSION TECHNIQUE ´Relate to your thought in a new way ²accept it ´ The mind is a great story teller hence we all fall prey to cognitive fusion Thoughts= words in our heads y Images =pictures inside our head y Sensation feelings inside our body y 18 .

HOW TO DEFUSE A THOUGHT ²COGNITIVE DIFFUSION Musical thought ² sing a thought to the rhythm of the birthday tune Naming your story Find out whether a thought is useful to you does it motivate you Thoughts are stories. so hold on to your values lightly not tightly !!! Silly voice technique 19 .

allowing them to be there without fighting them 20 .WHAT IS DIFFUSION Diffusion is all about seeing them for what they really are and making peace with them.

and tendencies can be changed So never try changing your emotions to change yourself !! 21 .EMOTIONS AND BEHAVIOR Emotions never control our behavior It creates a tendency .

EMOTIONS ARE LIKE WEATHER ´ they are always present and constantly changingµ A Significant event Get Ready for action The Mind gets involved .

STRUGGLE SWITCH ²PUT IT OFF With struggle switch off : Our emotions are free to move We don·t waste time and energy fighting or avoiding them We don·t generate all that dirty discomfort With the struggle switch on: Our emotions are stuck We waste huge energy .

something bad is going to happen Your mind is trying to fight reality that reality is wrong ² ´give me my realityµ Wishful thinking What have I done to deserve this Why am I like this What is wrong with me I cant handle this I shouldn·t feel like this I wish I didn·t feel like this . resentment and it often ends up blaming your parents Shifting through your faults.JUDGING EMOTIONS !!! Why am i feeling like this Tries to pinpoint feelings leads to the thought that life is problems This sets you on self blame Search entire life history for reasons why you are like this. flaws and defects Your mind is feeding you the story that your weak. This leads to anger.

EXPANSION Making room for unpleasant feeling sensation and urges The key :observe and be aware of yourself Step 1:observe y Step2 breath y Step3 Allow and acknowledge those feelings y 25 .

URGE SURFING OBSERVE y y y y y y y O=observe B=Breathe S=surf E=expand R=refocus V=value E=engage 26 .

CONNECTION Connection means fully living in the present. focusing on and engaging on fully whatever we do ²Being in present The simple 5 things technique Connecting with morning routine:) 27 .

Be in connect with your values.and make clear what is important to you -The Bulls eye worksheet 28 .VALUES Values are ideas and beliefs we hold dear to heart.how we want to live be treated and so on.

2. spirituality.YOUR VALUES: WHAT REALLY MATTERS TO YOU. Personal Growth/Health: may include religion. 3. children. exercise. meditation. and/or addressing health risk factors like smoking. or enjoy yourself. to represent where you stand today . drugs or overeating etc 4. etc. alcohol. skills development. Leisure: how you play. co-workers. yoga. fun and creativity. relax. and other social contacts. DEEP IN YOUR HEART? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR TIME ON THIS PLANET? What sort of person do you want to be? What personal strengths or qualities do you want to develop? 1. stimulate. friends. career. Work/Education: includes workplace. creativity. parents. recreation. education. life skills. THE BULL·S EYE: make an X in each area of the dart board. nature. Relationships: includes your partner. nutrition. relatives. activities for rest.

THE BULL·S EYE EFFECT«. .

it·s a stable state of mind 31 . mood. success.Guided by values Take actions again and again Happiness is not pleasure.COMMITTED ACTION Take effective actions .

AWARENESS LEADS TO HAPPINESS What is awareness? It·s having a 3600 vision of our surroundings It is having awareness About me Within me Without me Relevant to me 32 .

AWARENESS IS ABOUT CHOOSING THE RIGHT PATHS Pleasure Temptations Sins/ Unethical Path to excellence Hurting anyone deeply and deep love cannot be together 33 .

AWARENESS: UNDERSTANDING THE VIEWS Reality Your View My View 34 .

Neur tic Wis 35 .WHAT IS AWARENESS Awareness L ve / N eg .

WHAT SHOULD ONE DO FOR BEING AWARE Effort. Hard work Knowledge Discipline 36 .

Strict measures 37 .HOW ONE CAN LEAD A BALANCED LIFESTYLE/ SEEKING EXCELLENCE Balanced Lifestyle Success is not an accident Balancing One·s Ambition Getting out of unrealistic Measures Discipline.

HAPPY LIVING WHAT IS A HEALTHY PROCESS Healthy Process Being Doing Having Unhealthy Process Having Doing Being 38 .

name. accrue to him because of his outstanding work quality 39 . respect etc.HEALTHY PROCESS BEING DOING HAVING Excellence happens because ones ¶being· (sum total of his strengths. interests and innate talents) Flows into his ¶doing· (the work or profession that he has chosen) The ¶havings· or the rewards associated with the work in terms of promotions. monetary rewards. fame.

FLOW : HAPPINESS RELATED TO PERFORMANCE Task Complexity eg R on i of f ow l Task Competence 40 .

THE CHANNEL OF FLOW: STATE OF BLISS A very highly skilled person is engaged in a task. a person has to not only be very skilled at some vocation but also has to find opportunities to express his skill 41 . In such cases the work becomes a joy and hours can pass in a state of bliss such that he forgets himself So. to be happy at the cognitive level. which is difficult and complex enough to engage his complete attention. The person gets completely immersed in the task that he loves to do as well is very good at.

CRITICAL ASPECT: CONTROL OF EMOTIONS 42 .

Sky high ego We may give more credit to ourselves than required Bottom-line: Find out our own weakness and address the problem 43 . Vulnerable Artificial Person: Superhero.IDENTIFYING YOURSELF Normal Self Narcissistic Self Real Person: Weak .

INTEGRATED PERSON Spirit (Spiritual) Enjoys what he does. deals with information very effectively Body (Physiological) Respects his body. invests in nourishing relationships Invests constantly in their chosen vocation. Follows healthy habits 44 . encourages & supports growth of others Heart (Emotional) Self actualizing man Mind (Cognitive) Emotionally free.

Enjoying a cup of coffee. 45 .g. Natural beauty etc.SPAN OF ATTENTION AND ITS QUALITY Quality o attention Self Causes quality o experience Object The quality of the self·s attention to the experience which ensures happiness or lack of it This is one of the main reason even rich people may not H H H be happy H H U U H E. U H Paying attention to each H and every pleasurable activity can go a very long way to enjoy our material prosperity and adding to our overall happiness and gratitude Mind as a bucket which accumulates happiness as H and unhappines s as U levels.

which generate unpleasantness 46 . This helps one to collect ¶H·s from pleasurable experiences and to avoid ¶U·s as much as possible. An awareness of this fact may help one to sort out many of one·s bad habits.MEMORIES : A PERMANENT IMPRESSION H H H U H U H H H U H Mind as a bucket which accumulates happiness as H and unhappines s as U One needs to be constantly aware of what is happening in one·s life on a moment-to-moment basis.

VALUES OF A HAPPY PERSON Truth Honesty Integrity Respect for human dignity: Love & Compassion Belief in the virtues of hard work or industriousness Respect for laws and norms Cooperativeness 47 .

WHY PEOPLE ARE UNHAPPY Thoughts Produces feelings Feelings like y y y y y y y y y y Frustration Procrastination Pressure Jealousy Greed Anger Guilt Revenge Anxiety Worry 48 .

FORMULA FOR HAPPINESS!! X+Y+Z+W= Happiness X y Y y Z y W y Work Play Mouth shut! Meditation/ Reflection Whatever is happening is happening and whatever is not happening is not happening!! 49 .

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Control the life-shaping power of your thoughts and attitudes
Old Traditional View Pessimism Optimism

New View Optimism Low Pessimism Low High

High

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 Hard optimism is all about not thinking negative.  Think positive vs Eliminating negative thoughts.  An attitude of positive expectancy energizes us, calls out our potential and heightens our awareness of opportunity.  A negative frame of mind saps your energy as well as the energy of people around you, weakens your confidence, hurts your creativity and problem solving skills.
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 It comes when we change how we deal with our negative thoughts and feelings.  Positive thinking is important but nonnegative thinking is the essence of hard optimism.  Optimism or pessimism .ultimately it·s your choice ´What an interesting life I had.µ 53 . Hard optimism doesn·t come from merely repeating positive statements to ourselves to ourselves. And how I wish I had realized it sooner.

Assess your current level of optimism 
A lot of people are reading themselves wrong. 

Is optimism inherited?  To a certain extent.  But it can also be developed over time i.e. shaped by your early upbringing plus the influence of life·s ups and downs.
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 Children rank particularly high on optimism but it drops

significantly once they enter puberty.  Females have greater emotional range than men i.e. more optimism and pessimism.  Fate doesn·t determine our emotional fortune.  Fate is one thing, but how we choose to face it is quite another.
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 Circumstances are going to affect your attitude.  DNA also has its say in who you are and how you feel.  But your own consciousness bats last.  Change the way you look at life and you literally shape a different life for yourself.

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´Be careful how you interpret the world: It is like that.µ

 Those of us who end up with an optimistic explanatory style have an inner self that reaffirms our ability and predicts good fortune.Develop the explanatory style of an optimist  Each of us has an inner voice that only we can hear. 57 .  Those who have a pessimistic explanatory style have an inner voice that criticizes our performance and warns of trouble to come.

 How optimists interpret good events :‡ Long lasting ‡ Internal ‡ Pervasive 58 ´What the caterpillar calls a tragedy. How optimists interpret bad events :‡ Transient ‡ External ‡ Specific to the situation i. not pervasive. the master calls a butterfly.e.µ .

59 .Eliminate the explanatory style that pessimists use  Where do you think most of the bad news comes from that·s floating around in your head?  From yourself since you talk more to yourself than to anyone else in the world.

 Why pessimists bog down in bad events? ‡ They habitually accuse themselves of being the root cause of their troubles. ‡ Pessimists convince themselves that bad effects will be pervasive. 60 . ‡ Pessimists expect that bad events will be permanent.

he came to a fateful decision. ‡ Good fortune is a random event i. He decided not to think about it.´ 61 . ´Whenever he thought about it he felt terrible. ‡ Causes of good events are specific in nature.e. at last. Pessimists warped explanations for good events :‡ Success gets attributed to external factors. And so. temporary.

Recognize and dispute pessimistic thoughts  Five enemies of optimism :‡ Concern ‡ Complaining ‡ Commiserating ‡ Criticizing ‡ Catastrophizing 62 .

 When worry first sets in take a moment to reflect on past successes.  If you·re hit with the urge to complain put it on hold until you·ve scanned for good news.  Deliberately change your inner voice from ´problem talkµ to ´solution talkµ. 63 . Kill negative thinking while it·s young.

 Beware of falling into the trap of criticizing. Resist the urge to commiserate with others. Catastrophizing is a feeding frenzy of brooding about the past and imagining worst-case scenarios for the future. It is not rewarding and just sucks all the optimism out of the air. ´The door to hell is locked from the inside.  Never catastrophize.´ 64 .

difficulties and downside.  After the initial shock wears off.Use positive reappraisal to handle problems and disappointments  When adversity hits.  Nothing wrong with this. 65 . our innate response is to focus sharply on the dangers. But how long should we let it continue. shift your focus away from what·s troubling about the situation and search intensely for what·s potentially good.

We start looking at the situation with a broader and longer-term perspective. 66 . Optical illusion ² Ugly old woman vs Beautiful young woman.  Positive reappraisal refers to deliberate switching of your attention from worst-case to best-case thinking.  Eyeing adversity from a positive angle opens up our field of view.

´ 67 .  How you construe a situation literally helps create the reality.  Learn to exploit adversity. People who practice positive reappraisal have a way of emerging from difficulties stronger. ´No sense being pessimistic. happier and better off than before. Wouldn·t work anyway.

 Hope helps move us in the direction of our goals and ambitions.Make hope a habit  Research shows that hope plays a surprisingly potent role in giving people a measurable advantage in realms as diverse as academic achievement. 68 . bearing up in onerous jobs and coping with tragic illness.

 When hope fades -: ‡ We lose confidence. answers and solutions instead of limits. Under the influence of hope we think in terms of possibilities. ‡ We quit stretching. ‡ Our willpower starts to slip. 69 . losses and fears. lower our sights and start calculating fallback positions.

 We should realize that this is a skill we should develop. ´What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Most of us make the mistake of counting on hope to ´just happenµ.´ 70 .  Always give hope a fighting chance.

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Happiness must be realized here. in this life.µ Twin aims of living in current meta-system. Dignity is happiness with one·s self. Happiness & Dignity. happiness is the proper function of man·s existence.VIEW OF EDWARD DE BONO« ´Just as burning is the proper function of fire. .

IT IS A DELIBERATE EFFORT«. World became complex and pressures are great and confusing. Self awareness and acknowledgement is the key. Today·s world is not that peaceful & romantic. Myth is that to try to culture happiness may seem to destroy spontaneity of nature. Deliberate effort must be made to culture essential ingredients of happiness. .

Natural purpose is like the sugar coating on pill to make man do necessary thing to survive. Greed. Over indulgence is like a child eating a full bottle of iron pill and gets poisoned. Pleasure      Its very real. . No natural cut off to it. So real that brain·s Pleasure centre can be stimulated externally..COUNTER PARTS OF HAPPINESS«. So its us who have to balance. selfishness and self indulgent is the consequence.

Excitement Highly short ter.  Most of the time counter productive.  Have to be cultured very carefully. ingredient for further unhappiness.  Boredom. Soon wears off and demands more and more effort. blunt our senses.  . is created by excitement.

Possibility of being carried away. so life enhancing. Not that counter productive without balance. Can be attached to anything. . But excessive enthusiasm can lead to frequent switching of interest.Enthusiasm      Opposite of apathy. unable to invest effort and interest in absence of it.

 Circumstances arouse joy may be recognized.  Distinct source of happiness in itself.Joy Pleasure of more aesthetic and intellectual type. dependable and permanent.  Durable. but not easily produced on demand.  .  Interest Permanent source of pleasure.  A combination of circumstances and mood.

 .  Relief from being able to make a difficult effective decision is also real happiness. freedom from pressure.Relief Freedom from fear and worry. but still very important.  Though brief.  In today·s world. freedom from guilt. relief from complexity and confusion is real happiness. covers specific moments of happiness.

Peace More than just the absence of discomfort. complacency and smugness.  Proper functioning of human system.  More than just relief. unconstrained happiness.  .  No excess friction or strain.

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Self Space Life Space Near Happiness Near Dignity Ego .CONCEPT OF SELF SPACE. AND LIFE SPACE«.

..THE LUMP EFFECT«.

Concept of ´Cut Offsµ and ´Trade Offµ is very important. We prefer to deal with polarized. either/or decision.. Problem of happiness is the problem of balance. . also sensitization through deliberate training. Development of will power and discipline. Awareness of one·s own temperament and past experiences.TO STRIKE A PROPER BALANCE«.

Identifying the situations that cause moods swings. To smooth them out.Probably not possible to induce happiness. rather more acknowledging them. . One day·s depression never fails persuit of happiness. Individual can generate or choose circumstances which themselves generate.

LANCE AMSTRONG 87 .

Lance recovered from this painful experience to become. What makes this record even more remarkable is his well documented recovery from a near fatal attack of cancer. 88 . the toughest and most prestigious cycling event for 7 consecutive years 1999 -2005.THE LIFE AND CAREER OF LANCE ARMSTRONG Lance has won the Tour De France. against all expectations the most successful cyclist of his generation.

and spread to lungs and brain from abdomen. 89 . finally Advanced Testicular Cancer was diagnosed. Due to late discovery it turned to metastasis. Though mispredicted by some doctors as sinius. Immediate surgery and chemotherapy was needed. He ignored. Later started coughing up blood.FACING THE DEATH« He had symptoms of pain in testicles earlier. and went for diagonosis. still leaving less than 40% chance of survival.

90 . Using Ifosfamide instead of Bleomycin. Didn't panicked. Only one thing. Chose a different combination of chemotherapy medicines.DWELL WITH DEATH. and Cisplatin. Ifosfamide. didn·t lost focus Took intelligent rational decision.. beyond everything. Decision saved his career. Etoposide. that immense will power and trust in himself. came back in training after five month. to avoid lung toxicity. Fought internally a lot.

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