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Communication Skills
Workshop by Mr. Vidya Nag. ***

What is Success?
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. Ra lp h Wa ld o Emer son American Poet

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Traits of Successful people
Smiling face – Wrinkles go where the smiles have been. Time Management No known enemies Appreciate others & Respect others Know when to stop Never argue unnecessarily Take proper breaks Always do their home work Will give importance to petty but important things
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Traits of Successful people…
Good communicators Eager to learn Maintain good relation – at home / work Firm NOT rigid Change managers

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Did you Know ??
We can TALK 200 words per minute We can HEAR 500 words per minute We can THINK over 800 words per minute

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Communication - Break-up
Speaking Hearing Writing Emotions Body Language

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Communication is Important
“Communication” is important in our life TO guide your conversations in directions that are more satisfying for both you and your conversation partners.

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Important Barriers
“why ME..?” ..Syndrome ASS of U and Me Language fluency Perception If it’s to be, it’s NOT up to me Simply “I Cannot”..(or I don’t Know, I was never taught, its difficult,all cannot be..)
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Final Destination
My goal is to summarize what many agree are the most important principles of good interpersonal communication, and to describe these principles in ways that make them easier to remember, easier to adopt and easier to weave together.

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Simple - Tool Kit
Representation Listening Giving Info Getting Info

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Representation
Prepared Introduce Eye contact Neat Appearance No smoking… Dress / Hygiene Sound Confidant
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Excercise
Small Talk.

Remember representation

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Suggested topics
What your preferred method of travel Do you enjoy Movies, Plays, cricket, dance, tv shows etc., Did you have a vacation this year What do your parents do ? Tell something about your native place ? Or any topic you like…..
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Objective
To over-come shyness and feelings of selfesteem

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Reactions
Did any of you find it difficult to engage in small talk ? How can these negative feelings be over-come ? In what ways having several topics ready with you be useful ? Why is it important for you to engage in small talk ? When it might be important for you initiate small talk ?
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Exercise

Barriers for Listening
List out the reasons why we cannot listening properly

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Barriers zones
Environment Speaker Topic Listener What can you change in the above….

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Effective Listening
Change Environment Observe body Language Don’t Interrupt Use Thinking time wisely Judge the content, NOT speaker.

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Listening skills Exercise
1. Draw a dot on this “l”. 2. Fill up the blanks by word LOVE. 3. FB,MB,BB. 4. Write numbers 1 2 20 in 10 secs.

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Poor listener..
Interrupt Change subject Inattentive Negative body language Yes, but… Impatient Switch off
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Poor listener..
Take over the conservation.. Curt Too talktive Discouraging, look away.. Very critical

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LISTENING TIPS
Do make eye contact Don't interrupt Do lean forward and show interest Don't finish other's sentences for them Do mirror the other person's body language Don't multi-task when listening

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Who can change..
“Give every man thine ear, but few thine voice” -- William Shakespeare.. YOU can Change Concentration , compilation, construction & registration.

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Exercise
Listening partner

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Exercise
Conversation between two and rest watch…..

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Body language basics Be mindful to evaluate the flow of "gesture clusters" rather than isolated gestures taken out of context.

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Body postures
There are two basic categories of body postures: Open/Closed Forward/Back In an open and receptive body posture, arms are unfolded, legs uncrossed, and palms are exposed. In a closed body posture, arms are folded, legs are crossed and the entire body is usually turned away.

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Postures…
Leaning back and closed = Lack of interest. Leaning back and open = Contemplation and cautious interest. Leaning forward and closed = Potential aggressive behavior. Leaning forward and open = Interest and agreement. If appropriate, this would be a good time to ask for the order.

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Head gestures
There are four basic head positions:
Head neutral = Neutral and open attitude. Tilted back = Superior attitude. Tilted down = Negative and judgmental attitude. Tilted to one side = Interest.

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Facial gestures
      

Facial gestures reveal deceit, doubt, deliberation, and critical judgment: Eye rub = Deceit, "see no evil." Eye roll = Dismissive gesture that indicates superiority. Looking over top of glasses = Scrutiny and a critical attitude. Nose rub = Dislike of the subject. Hand or fingers blocking mouth = Deceit, "speak no evil." Chin stroking = Making a decision. Thumb under chin with index finger pointing vertically along the cheek = Negative attitude and critical judgment.

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Aim…

“To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of communication”

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Conversational Skills..
CS does not mean the YOU can control others Conservation. It means that you can control your conservation and be able to influence others of giving a positive reply.

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Commonly used..
It is “waste” talking to him….. That was “good”.. Nice guy to talk to…

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Why CS is Important…
Respond to criticism with confidence Get correct information quickly Making your presence felt in meetings convincingly Handling objections and/or opposition Knowing about people around Problem-solving and social use
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Catching the key words..
Words used to draw attention Tone of the voice (modulation) Creeping of words Hidden meaning

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Watch words…
“I”, “me” or “my” – they are important disappointed, annoyed, worried, angry, concerned, unhappy, excited, keen, enthusiastic. Pressure situations Concerns, doubts

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Guidelines…
ASK,ASK,ASK don’t ASSUME Enquire Find out Summarize & invite Listen for the unusual LISTEN

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Exercise
Interview a personality…

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Giving Info & Getting Info
Open Questions Closed Questions Leading questions

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Open..
How are things going at work ? What sort of holiday did you have ? What is the secret of your success ?

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Close..
How long have you worked here ? What time is it ? Are you coming with me to office ? Is the MD-50 completed ?

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Leading..
Would you not agree with me that it was unwise for you to spend that money without consulting others ? How often do you beat your spouse ? I think that the training program is long, right ?

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Diagnosis..
When you try to identify the cause of the problem, you tend to give a Diagnosis. Remember… Diagnosis may or may not be correct. Needs to be supported by fact Needs to be accurate.

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Non Verbal
Questionnaire..

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Responsive Listening…
By listening and then repeating back in your own words the essence and feeling of what you have just heard, from the speaker’s point of view, you allow the speaker to feel the satisfaction of being understood, (a major human need). Listening responsively is always worthwhile as a way of letting people know that you care about them. Our conversation partners do not automatically know how well we have understood them, and they may not be very good at asking for confirmation. When a conversation is tense or difficult it is even more important to listen first and acknowledge what you hear.
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Examples
For example, in a hospital a nurse might say, after listening to a patient: “I hear that you are very uncomfortable right now, Susan,and you would really like to get out of that bed and move around. But your doctor says your bones won’t heal unless you stay put for another week.” The patient in this example is much more likely to listen to the nurse than if the nurse simply said: “I’m really sorry, Susan, but you have to stay in bed. Your doctor says your bones won’t heal unless you stay put for another week.” What is missing in this second version is any acknowledgment of the patient’s present experience.
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Example
Mother to seven-year-old: “I know that you want some more cake and ice cream, Jimmy, because it tastes so good, but you’ve already had three pieces and I’m really worried that you’ll get an upset tummy.That’s why I don’t want you to have any more.”

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As you listen to the important people in your life, give very brief summaries of the experiences they are talking about and name the want or feeling that appears to be at the heart of the experience. For example: “So you were really happy about that...” “So you drove all the way over there and they didn’t have the part they promised you on the phone. What a let-down...
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“Sounds like you wanted a big change in that situation...” “Oh, no! Your dog got run over. You must be feeling really terrible...” The point here is to empathize, not to advise. If you added to that last statement, “That total SLOB!!! You should sue that person who ran over your dog. People need to pay for their mistakes, etc.”, you would be taking over the conversation and also leading the person away from her or his feelings and toward your own.
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Other suggestions about listening more responsively: As a general rule, do not just repeat another person’s exact words. Summarize their experience in your own words. But in cases where people actually scream or shout something, sometimes you may want to repeat a few of their exact words in a quiet tone of voice to let them know that you have heard it just as they said it.
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Truth about good communicators
Great Communicators are NOT “Charismatic” people Self-Awareness Empathy Wit Passion Spark
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Mahatma Gandhi…
By "being the change you want to see" you can begin to change the quality of your conversations without waiting for other people to change

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7 Challenges for you
Listen more carefully and responsively Explain your conversational intent and invite consent Express yourself more clearly and completely Translate your (and other people's) complaints and criticisms into specific requests, and explain your requests.
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7 Challenges for you…
Ask questions more "open-endedly" and more creatively Express more appreciation Make better communication an important part of your everyday life

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Ten Tips for Effective Email Tip - 1
Think before you write. Just because you can send information faster, it doesn't mean that you should send it. Analyze your readers' needs to make certain that you are sending a message that will be both clear and useful

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Tip - 2
Remember that you can always deny that you said it. But if you write it, you may be held accountable for many many moons. You may be surprised to find where your message may end up.

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Tip - 3
Keep your message concise. Remember that the screen only shows approximately one half of a hard-copy page. Save longer messages and formal reports for regular ('snail') or overnight mail. On the other hand, do not keep your message so short that the reader has no idea what you're talking about. Include at least a Summary (Action or Information) in every Email message
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Tip - 4
Remember that E-mail is not necessarily confidential. Some companies will retain the right to monitor employees messages. (Refer to #1 and #2.) Don't send anything you wouldn't be comfortable seeing published in your company's newsletter (or your community's newspaper).

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Tip - 5
Don't FLAME your readers. It's unprofessional to lose control in person; to do so in writing usually just makes the situation worse. (Refer to #2 and #4.)

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Tip - 6
Don't spam your readers. Don't send them unnecessary or frivolous messages. Soon, they'll quit opening any message from you. (Refer to #1.)

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Tip 7
DON'T TYPE IN ALL CAPS! IT LOOKS LIKE FLAMING! Remember, if you emphasize everything, you will have emphasized nothing

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Tip - 8
don't type in all lower case (unless you re e.e. cummings) if you violate the rules of english grammar and usage you make it difficult for the reader to read.

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Tip - 9
Use the Subject line to get the reader's attention. Replace vague lines (Information on XYZ Project, or Status Report Q1) with better hooks: Exciting Career Opportunity, Serious Problems with the New Veeblefetzer, or Free Money.

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Tip - 10
Take the time to poofread your document before you sent it. Rub the document thru the spell checker and/or the grammer checker. Even simpl tipos will make you look sloppie and damage you re proffessional credubility

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Life Positions
I am OK, You Are OK. I am OK, You Are NOT OK. I am Not OK, You are OK I am NOT OK, You are NOT OK.

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