Communicate with a Difference: Be Assertive

Introducing :
Ketan M Bhole Pranal Tawade Yogesh Deshmukh Sudhir Shetty Marlon Roll No : 06 Roll No: 00 Roll No: 00 Roll No: 00 Roll No: 00



Assertive: (adj) confident and direct in dealing with others. .INTRODUCTION : DEFINITION OF ASSERTIVENESS Assertiveness is upholding one’s own integrity and dignity whilst at the same time encouraging and recognising this behaviour in others.

INTRODUCTION WITH WHOM CAN YOU BE ASSERTIVE? In Fact. assertiveness is useful for everyone with whom you come into contact. .


INTRODUCTION ASSERTIVENESS AND INTEGRITY When we are assertive we increase our integrity because we are honest with ourselves and with others. When We Are Honest With Our Selves And With Others We Are Able To Achieve What We Want Without Compromise… .



NON-ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR The non-assertive person: • Is reluctant to express own opinions. and particularly. • Keeps quiet when others take advantage • Refrains from complaining when services or products are not up to standard • Finds it difficult to refuse the requests of others for time or resources . • Often feels used by others. feelings.THREE BEHAVIOUR TYPES 1.

NON-ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR The non-assertive person: • Frequently makes compromises in the interests of harmony • Is unwilling to inconvenience people for the things he or she wants • Is submissive in the presence of aggressive behaviour • Prefers to keep own views private .THREE BEHAVIOUR TYPES 1.

THREE BEHAVIOUR TYPES 1. . NON-ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR THE TYRANNY CIRCLE OF MUSTS Non-assertive persons are imprisoned by ‘musts’ in their head.


THEY THINK THEY ARE O K AND THE REST OF THE WORLD IS NOT . They know what they want and like. Aggressive people think of themselves as superior beings.THREE BEHAVIOUR TYPES 2. AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR AGGRESSION Aggressive individuals are essentially selfish. and disregard the needs of others in front of their own needs.


THREE BEHAVIOUR TYPES 3. ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR THE ASSERTIVE PERSON ● Is able to express desires and feelings to others ● Is able to converse and work well with people at all levels ● Is able to appreciate the views of others and accept any that appear more reasonable than their own ● Is able to disagree with someone yet retain their friendship and respect ● Is aware of the needs and desires of others .

ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR THE ASSERTIVE PERSON ● Is able to make concessions to others without feelings of inadequacy ● Is able to express a concern or a need with minimum embarrassment to both parties ● Is able to control feelings and emotions even in difficult or emotionally charged situations ● Is able to refuse a request without feeling guilty or obliged ● Is able to ask for what he or she wants and can insist on legal entitlements without becoming emotional .THREE BEHAVIOUR TYPES 3.



ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS HOW TO DISAGREE Following a simple step-by-step process will help you put your case without getting emotional. losing your integrity or losing your respect for the other person. .

State Reasons 5. Indicate Process 4. . Softening Statement 3. Affirmative Statement 2.ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS HOW TO DISAGREE THE PROCESS 1. Offer a compromise* * The compromise is optional and it is for you to decide whether or not to make a concession. Disagree 6.

‘But have ‘Yes.ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS DISAGREEMENT PROCESS EXAMPLES Softening.very much this ‘So I cannot Indicate. been weekunderstand that’ and I know something’ tohelpful if it has tonight’ tellovertime tonight’ you overtime stayed promised toI take them to the difficult’ tomorrow?’ park’ . ‘We have been State. can Position: ‘I want Iyou to work work tonight I ‘Would it be Compromise. ‘I have not seen Disagree. my children short staffed all weekI and Affirmative .

to somehow during adolescence and again. repeat yourself again and again we lose the until the person givesskill.experience most people capitulate after you repeat yourself three times. concedes to your in or In my demands. So. .ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS BROKEN RECORD When a record gets stuck it plays the same thing over and over again.Children are masters at broken to do is but in broken record all you have record.

or attack you verbally . ● The other person is likely to use put-downs.ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS BROKEN RECORD Broken record is particularly useful when: ● Dealing with those in authority. broken to record is really ● You are dealing with people brighter or more fluent than you easy to use. or when you feel Because you just that the other person has more expertise than you have to repeat ● You think you are not getting what you are entitled yourself.


. Thus your response to the request is to put up a fog. and you would rather not do it.ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS FOGGING Fogging is useful when someone is putting pressure on you to do something that is really not in your best interest.

and decide whether or not you wish to comply.ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS FOGGING Listen to what the person says. This method is or acknowledge very polite but state your case. a similar. If not. then using their words. but that you are not going to comply. their need method of saying ‘No’. In this way you show the person that you have understood their request. .

’ ‘I need this’ .’ recognising the other person’s need.. ‘This is important’ ‘Of course it is important but not as important as .’ ‘I am sure you do but it is just not possible now.....ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS FOGGING REQUEST RESPONSE ‘I can see why you would By using this technique you are less likely want that ‘I want it now’ but my priority is to be manipulated into doing something ..’ ‘Perhaps I not ‘You should help you would rather should but right now I have other of me’ and yet you cannot be accusedpriorities.

fact?’ always late’ Then you can decide whether the accusation is justified. what exactly do you mean to do anything about it stupid’ by that?’ ‘Can you explain why this particular instance has caused you to brand me with such a label?’ ‘You’re selfish’ . in and cares for ‘Oh genuine what way specifically?’ If the you. and whether you different ‘My understanding may be ‘You’re wantfrom yours.ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS NEGATIVE ENQUIRY ACCUSATION ‘You’re lazy’ person isreally. such replies will lead to real ‘Always? How do you know that for a ‘You’re feedback.

ASSERTIVE ACTIVITIES GENERAL ADVICE Get SMART Goals S M A R T SPECIFIC Define exactly what you want MEASURABLE APPROPRIATE REALISTIC TIME BOUND What will be the success criteria Ensure they are appropriate for you They must be feasible By when are you going to do it .

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