Better Marriages Through Better Communication

The Five Love Languages

• This sermon is not:
• About how to select a godly spouse • About the scriptural basis for divorce • An exhaustive sermon on what the Bible says about marriage or communication

Better Marriages Through Better Communication
The Five Love Languages

Dr. Gary Chapman, baptist preacher FiveLoveLanguages.com Not perfect nor inspired, but consistent with Scripture Practical & sound advice built upon experience

How to treat a spouse generally:
At least as well as a brother in Christ, Philippians 2:2-4 At least as well as our neighbor, Matthew 22:39 As we want to be treated, Matthew 7:12 With love, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 The Bible never says romantic love (eros): Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33 (agapao), Colossians 3:19 (agapao), Titus 2:4 (philandros) Unlike lust or "puppy love," selfless love must be learned Titus 2:4 `

Better Marriages Through Better Communication
• The Bible recognizes that communication requires people to listen and think about what is said in order to understand:
Matthew 13:14 Proverbs 1:5 Proverbs 2:1-5

#1 Words of Affection
The Five Love Languages
Does your spouse ask you if you love her? Does he tell you often that he loves you? Examples:  "I love you" - Song of Solomon 1:4, 7  "Words of honor" - 1 Peter 3:6  Find new ways of expressing "I love you," Song of Solomon 1:8-10, 14-16; 2:2-3, 14; 4:1,3,5,7,10; 5:16; 6:4; 7:5 and find and use new and different compliments  Write a poem, a note or buy a greeting card  Praise the positives, accomplishments & strengths

#1 Words of Affection
The Five Love Languages

If Words of Affection is your spouse's primary love language, then negative words can be particularly hurtful:

Proverbs 12:18; 15:1; 16:24 Wives – Proverbs 19:13 Husbands – Colossians 3:19 ~

#2 Quality Time

   

Is your spouse asking to do things – or even nothing – with you? Is your spouse offering to do things with you, or help you with things? Song of Solomon 1:7 Set aside specific times of day, week, and/or month Establish rules for when & what to do How you spend your time proves what is most important to you.

 Dates  Weekday

luncheons  Walks  Board games  Vacations  Ask your spouse

#3 Gifts • • • •

The Five Love Languages

Gifts show: Respect – Matthew 2:10-11 Concern & Love – Ruth 2:8, 14-18, 3:15 Gifts need not be expensive (or cost anything) – A person whose love language is gifts usually looks for quantity over price • If your spouse’s primary love language is gifts, consider making frequent purchases of cards, flowers, candy, books, newspapers, magazines, DVDs or CDs. • ~

#4 Acts of Service - The Five Love Languages
• Is your spouse constantly asking you to do something specific (e.g., helping with kids, chores around house, something with car)? • Is he or she constantly doing things for you or chores in general? • Ruth 1:8-17; 2:11-12 • Philippians 2:2-4 • Wives – Titus 2:3-5 (homemakers) • Proverbs 31:10-31 • Abigail, 1 Samuel 25:14-34 • Leave a note for your spouse letting him/her know what you did.

#5 Physical Touch - The Five Love Languages
• Song of Solomon 1:2, 4; 2:6, 4:11, 7:1-2, 6-9 (more alluded to) • Wives, Ephesians 5:22-24 (submit … everything) 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 One flesh, Genesis 2:24 Physical touch doesn't always have to be sex. How does your spouse act towards you? What does he or she ask for? ~

The Five Love Languages
• LISTEN: What is your spouse asking for? • PAY ATTENTION: What is your spouse offering you? • COMMUNICATE: Ask your spouse what they need to feel loved. • ~ Words of Affirmation? Quality Time? Gifts? Acts of Service? Physical Touch?

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