Returned Returned Missionary Dating Application

Due to the overwhelming demand for returned missionaries, this form has been established in an
with effort to qualify the prospective candidates. This form must be filled out by all desiring dating privileges
to returned missionaries. Complete cooperation is requested in filling out this form. Use only correct
Honor and pertinent information. If any additional help is required due to underqualification, comestibles and
photos are accepted as bribes. Please remember 2 Nephi 9:34 while filling out this form.
Information of Returned Missionary This section is to be filled out by returned missionary
Returned missionary’s name (First, MI, Last) Name of mission served Years Served Time since return Favorite Color
19 to 19 mo. yrs.
Identification Type or print all requested information using black or blue ink
Name (first, middle, last) Date of Birth(month, day, year) Are you: Gender
Over 21 Under 21 Under 18 Under 16 Still in primary M F ?
Home Street Address Email address Home Phone Work Phone
( ) ( )
City ST Zip code Were you: Born Adopted Hatched Kidnapped Found on front porch
Government reject Fell from sky Other_____________________________
Height Weight (please be honest, this is Color of hair Natural color of hair Eye color Ring size Marital Status
confidential) (VERY important) Single Engaged Other (if other, tear up form)
Family Background
Do you live with your If yes, is there enough room for you to continue living If you do not live with parents, where do you live? Is your refrigerator always If no, why
parents? there after marriage? stocked?
Yes No Yes No Yes No
Do you have smaller brothers or sisters? Can they be If yes:
Yes No bribed? Yes No With what How much For how long
Is there a history of mental illness in Do you have any royal How about horse thieves? WWF Wrestlers? Crazed 6-foot Albanian Dwarfs? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
your family? blood?
Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No
Is your Father friendly? Does he own a gun? If yes, what caliber? Has he ever used Is he a: Good Shot Fair Shot Poor Shot Expert Shot Deadly Shot
Yes No Yes No it? Yes No Big Shot Cheap Shot Rabies Shot 3-point Shot
Does your dad give temple reccomend Do your parents approve of returned If no, why?
interviews to your dates? missionaries?
Yes No Yes No
If parents are sealed, in which temple were they Do you want to be sealed Any weird additional information about your family:
sealed? there as well? Yes No
Do you have a dog? How big? What kind? Does he bite? Does he have his shots? Can he be out-run? Ever tried feeding peanut butter or bubble
Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No gum to a dog? Yes No
Personal Information
Have you ever seen the C.E.S. video “Godly Sorrow” about Good Fair Poor Weak How often do you bear On a seperate page, please write your testimony
Is your
testimony:
the girl who can’t go to the temple? Yes No Strong Changeable None your testimony? (not thank-a-mony or travel-log)
Do you go to church: Every week Every other week Three times a month Once a month *Would you like to know more about the LDS church, eternal families and
Twice a year Wouldn’t be caught dead there Never heard of it* other fun stuff? Yes No
Are you a seminary graduate? Did you recieve your Young Woman’s or Eagle What callings have you had?
Yes No scout (as applicable) award? Yes No
Did you graduate from: Grade School Jr. High High School School name for highest education achieved, major, and year of G.P.A. If illiterate, please provide name of the
Trade School College Charm school graduation person filling this out.
Do you: Please easily Gossip Anger easily Any other shortcoming? Are YOU also a returned Sense of Fair Hilarious Giggly
missionary? Yes No humor: Chuckle Dead
Stay Mad Snore Covet easily Grin
Are you presently employed? Where? For how long? Monthly income Would this meager income support me in the manner to
Yes No which I have become accustomed to? Yes No
Number, in order your first ____ Big Mac ____Steak and Lobster ____Hot Dogs ____Seafood ____Pizza ____Peanutbutter Sandwiches ____Top Ramen ____Macaroni and Cheese ____Corn
8 favorite dishes: ____Mexican food ____Low/Non fat stuff ____Cultural dishes from the mission field ____Tuna fish ____Chocolate Cake ____Spam ____Other:__________________
Can you cook? How Well? (1-10) What do you like to cook? Would you consider submitting a
Yes No sample? Yes No
Can you Sew? How Well? (1-10) Do you make your own Do you wear your own Can you cut hair? Can you play the piano? Any other useful talents?
clothes? clothes?
Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No
Do you dress mostly in: Dresses Skirts Blouses Sweaters Polo shirts Shorts Do you dress modestly? If no, Why?
Sleeveless Pants Turtle neck T-shirts Suit & Tie Whatever’s Clean! Yes No
If you had a choice between elegant and Elegant What color of lipstick do you Do you use makeup? If so, how much? Is it very necessary?
casual clothing, which would you prefer? Casual prefer? Yes No Light Medium Heavy Caked on Yes No
If yes, why? Languages in addition to english that Ever heard of the commitment
you speak: pattern? Yes No
What is your favorite reading material? Which form of literature Scripures Novels Classics Comic Books Cosmo type mags New Era
do you read?
Friend S.I. or G.Q. Mad Mag. Tracting pamplets Tabloids Internet stuff
Favorite Color Favorite TV Show Favorite Sport Favorite form of recreation

Do you drink? If yes, which? Hot Chocolate Coke Root Beer Water Milk Diet Coke Are you: Soft spoken Loud spoken Spoken for
Yes No Sprite Other (please specify)_________________________________________ Other ______________________________________
Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? If no, why not?
Yes No
How many children do you want and If over 12, why? If under 4, why?
expect to have?
In light of our priesthood leader’s council for longer courtships and shorter engagements, What is your idea of a perfect honeymoon?
length of engagement preferred: (If over 6 months, tear up form)
Will you be available on this date? ____/ _____/ ____ Yes No Your personality: Excellent Good Fair Would you mind if your engagement ring was just a simple gold band?
(if no, please give this form to someone who will) Poor Bad N/A (the bretheren have advised against debt) Yes No
In what occupation would you prefer your Are you willing to put your Spouse How do you feel about Pres. Benson’s exortation that women stay at Will you support your spouse in his/her
Spouse? through school? Yes No home, raise kids and not work? Like it Don’t like it callings? Yes No
Dating
___Dinner ___Movie ___Dance ___Concert ___Go tracting ___Bowling ___Swim ___Talk ___Picnic
If selected, list in order of preference what you
would like to do on your first/next date:___Walk ___Watch tv ___Study ___Cuddle ___Miniature golf ___Party ___Other______________________
Do you kiss on Yes No Do you close your eyes Yes One eye Do you cover your mouth when you yawn When kissing Breathless Pass out
your first date? Depends on the person when you kiss? Neither eye or sneeze? Yes No do you get: Speechless Passionate
Do you use mouthwash? If so, what kind? Do you feel it is important that your Dating transportation Rolls Royce Truck Moped B.M.W.
date has a car?
Yes No Yes No preferred: Bike Mercedes VW bug Geo metro
Miscellaneous Information Pertinent to my salvation
Do you have a boyfriend/ Weight Height Is he/ Heavyweight Light weight Feather weight Really big stupid person who
girlfriend? she a: found this and is reading it
Yes No Karate expert Wimp Eats stuff raw
Conclusion
This is your time, dear sister or brother, to remark on anything that you feel would be of interest to “The Judge.” In 100 words or more, give
reasons why you want to date a returned missionary. Also a brief description of yourself including personality, interests, etc. All photos and
any other bribes such as cookies, candy, home cookin’, and any other goodies will be used primarily in classifying your application, and to
boost the morale of the returned missionary. Each application will receive the upmost consideration.
Please place drop of your favorite perfume:

Place imprint of lips in space provided:

Place picture here

Date taken and occasion________________________________________

I hereby certify that all the questions have been honestly and sincerely answered, to the best of my ability (especially the weight question).

Signature Date:
Chris Bair July 1998 (please email me at chris.bair@usa.net)
this would be copywrited (©), but I stole the idea myself and re-did it. feel free to copy it to complete the first commandment given to the children of men. 7/98 Printed in USA 38975 000