ENNEAGRAM TYPE: FOUR - Artist/Creator

The intuitive, reserved person. Motivated by the need to understand their feelings and to be understood, to search for the meaning of life, and to avoid being ordinary. Self-aware, sensitive, introspective, and gentle. Individualistic, expressive, and personal, but can also be too moody and self-conscious. They dwell in their fantasies, feeling different, melancholy, and exempt from ordinary ways of living. Become impractical, self-indulgent, and self-pitying; problems with self-inhibition. Quite sensitive, these persons see themselves as special, unique and conforming to elite standards. They have a gift for dramatic flair. In work/ministry, their facility for listening to depth feelings and relating to all sorts of people make them excellent as counsellors/councillors, apart from other artistic fields. Their desire for being different and special reflects the uniqueness of God. They need to grow in equanimity (serenity) and courage after the example of Jesus so they can triumph over the tragedies in their life. At their best: Warm, refined, supportive, expressive, inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences. At their worst: Depressed, guilt-ridden, moralistic, stubborn, withdrawn, self-absorbed, they can withdraw into their world of fantasy and imagination.

What do I think of myself?

1. I genuinely feel quite special. 2. Experiences go deeper with me than with most. 3. I tend to do things with panache and style. 4. I sometimes feel I'm locked in my past. 5. The symbolic in life attracts me. 6. I am often taken up with thoughts of loss, pain and death. 7. I find an emotional outlet in dramatic presentation or expression. 8. My mood swings from very high to very low; in between is dull. 9. People feel I look down on them and am somehow snobbish. 10. I am no stranger to depression. 11. I often seem to whine about what's going wrong in my life. 12. I frequently wish I had others' gifts and talents. 13. Anything that offends good taste offends me. 14. I am often misunderstood. 15. I like to surround myself with beautiful things. 16. I empathize so deeply with others that I can really feel their hurt. 17. Life is tough, but I try to smile away the tears. 18. I rarely think of myself as being ordinary. 19.I tend to avoid fuss in my dress. 20. I don't seem to be as happy as others are. 21. Many people are just not able to understand how I feel. 22. I'm more upset than most about the ending of relationships. 23. People think of me as being over-dramatic. 24. I often wonder if I react to situations with enough depth of feeling. 25. I appreciate most art forms and consider myself artistic.

How to get along with me? (What I seem to tell others)

1) Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me. 2) Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself. 3) Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision. 4) Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little. 5) Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or I'm overreacting!

What do I miss because of my distorted style?

1) The spontaneous expression of your thoughts and feelings. 2) A balanced, modulated life style 3) intimacy: being close to others without fear of rejection or being abandoned. 4) The sense of fulfilment and satisfaction with what you have. 5) Really having what you want against yearning for it. 6) The sense of being connected by your common humanity, being a part of the whole as against an island

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Wings
FOURS with a THREE wing tend to be extroverted, confident, ambitious, flamboyant, and imageconscious. FOURS with FIVE wing tend to be more introverted, intellectual, idiosyncratic, reserved, and depressed. FOURS with Traits in conflict: Relational Distance -too special -introverts, withdrawn -vulnerable, low self-esteem Balancing}-immobilised by feelings-------> Points: } -concern for reality --------------> -"real" relationships -------------> FOURS with Traits in reinforce: Social Insecurity -withdrawn because feelings are special -to protect their feelings Balancing}-feeling orientation--------------> Points: } -exaggerated style --------------> -"really real" ---------------------> THREES -superficial -extroverts, popular -well-defended, high self-esteem -geared to action -openness to meeting others -group orientation FIVES -withdrawn because -out of touch with feelings -protect their security -logic & orderliness -sense of privacy, quiet -dignity

Arrows
When FOURS move toward the positive side of ONE, they: -become more self-disciplined and grounded in the here and now -do more problem solving and become more practical -shift to accentuating (emphasising) more of the positive and less of the negative -act on their strong ideals and principles -become less controlled by their feelings When FOURS move toward the negative side of ONE, they feel critical, judgmental, and angry that no one does anything right; moralise and preach at people; feel guilty for not living up to their own expectations. When FOURS move toward the negative side of TWO, they: -try to manipulate others into loving them in the mistaken belief that another's love will replace their own emptiness and loneliness -deny and repress their own needs -become overly dependent -possibly become ill to get attention or to be special When FOURS move toward the positive side of TWO, they connect with people in meaningful ways, become less self-absorbed and meet others' needs with healthy detachment.

Conversion
1) Live in the present with all its troubles. If you are ever to become happy and content you cannot remain fixed in idealisations and flights of fantasy. Get in touch with your anger; focus it; and
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use it to get what you want against turning your anger against yourself, feeling depressed, and believing you don't deserve or can't attain what you want. 2) Stop envying others and making comparisons. Find the extraordinary in the ordinary. Accept your unique parcel of talents. Use your envy to help you appreciate the values around you and to find those values in yourself. 3) Accept that the self is not identical with feelings. Realise you are already "original" you don't have to be eccentric or make yourself special. Search for the beloved within you, and not outside you. 4) Use your talents productively, no matter how insignificant your efforts may seem. Take an action-oriented, problem-centred approach; think about what you can do about the problem as opposed to bemoaning your fate. 5) Avoid rehearsing everything in your imagination, especially when it involves overromantic or negative feelings. Stay in the here and now and realise that right now you have all you need to be happy.

Transformations

1. I now release turning my anger and aggressions against myself. 2. I NOW RELEASE all self-hatred and self-contempt. 3. I NOW RELEASE all feelings of hopelessness and despair. 4. I NOW RELEASE all self-sabotaging thoughts and actions. 5. I NOW RELEASE feeling that I am inadequate and defective. 6. I NOW RELEASE the fear that I am unimportant and undesirable. 7. I NOW RELEASE feeling shameful and misunderstood by others. 8. I NOW RELEASE being distraught, fatigued, and inhibited. 9. I NOW RELEASE feeling that people always let me down. 10. I NOW RELEASE all unrealistic expectations of myself and others. 11. I NOW RELEASE all claims of needing to be treated differently. 12. I NOW RELEASE all self-indulgence in my emotions and behaviour. 13. I NOW RELEASE all self-doubt and emotional vulnerability. 14. I NOW RELEASE wanting to protect myself by withdrawing from others. 15. I NOW RELEASE all wasteful fantasies and romantic longings. 16. I NOW RELEASE dwelling on the past to prolong my feelings. 17. I now affirm that I am not defined by my feelings. 18. I NOW AFFIRM that only the feelings I act on express who I am. 19. I NOW AFFIRM that I open myself up to people and the world. 20. I NOW AFFIRM that I use all of my experiences to grow. 21. I NOW AFFIRM the goodness of my life, my friends, and myself. 22. I NOW AFFIRM that I love myself and treat myself gently. 23. I NOW AFFIRM that I am free of the damage of my past. 24. I NOW AFFIRM that I am transforming my life into something higher. 25. I NOW AFFIRM that I am bringing something good and beautiful into the world.

Prayer
A) Lord God, I realise that I move from ecstatic joy to inexpressible sadness. In my many inner struggles I find it difficult, Lord, to accept help. You have helped me through my wounds to have the sensitivity and intuition to understand at depth the emotions of others. You have taught me, Lord, to value the normal, the ordinary and everyday realities of life as your gift to me. Christ, have mercy.

(Tony Thampi K., c.s.c.)

(Enneagram No Four)

B) Lord God, I thank you for giving me a keen eye for beauty and a special sensitivity to the human heart. Show me how even the most ordinary and everyday realities are filled with the wonder of your presence. Help me to live in the present moment and to appreciate that my tears and laughter, joy and pain are part of your loving plan for the world. Amen.

Suggestions for Number Four

(Read one paragraph at a time and reflect)

1. Do not pay so much attention to your feelings; they are not a true source of support for you, as you probably already know. Remember this advice: "From our present perspective, we can also see that one of the most important mistakes Fours make is to equate themselves with their feelings. The fallacy is that to understand themselves they must understand their feelings, particularly their negative ones, before acting. Fours do not see that the self is not the same as its feelings or that the presence of negative feelings does not preclude the presence of good in themselves". Always remember that your feelings are telling you something about yourself as you are at this particular moment, not necessarily more than that. 2. Avoid putting off things until you are "in the right mood." Commit yourself to productive, meaningful work that will contribute to your good and that of others, no matter how small the contribution may be. Working consistently in the real world will create a context in which you can discover yourself and your talents. (Actually, you are happiest when you are working--that is, activating your potentials and realising yourself.) You will not "find yourself " in a vacuum or while waiting for inspiration to strike, connect--and stay connected--with the real world. 3. Self-esteem and self-confidence will develop only having Positive experiences, whether or not you believe that you are ready to have them. Therefore, put yourself in the way of good. Commit yourself to something that will be good for you. You may never feel that you are ready to take on a challenge of some sort that you always need more time. (Fours typically never feel that they are sufficiently Atogether," but they must nevertheless have the courage to stop putting off their lives.) Even if you start small, commit yourself to doing something that will bring out the best in you. 4. A wholesome self-discipline takes many forms, from sleeping regular hours to working regularly to exercising regularly, and has a cumulative, strengthening effect. Since it comes from yourself, a healthy self-discipline is not contrary to your freedom or individuality. On the other hand, sensuality, excessive sexual experiences, alcohol, drugs, sleep, or fantasising have a debilitating effect on you, as you already know. Therefore, practice healthy self-discipline and stay with it. 5. Avoid lengthy conversations in your imagination, particularly if they are negative, resentful, or even excessively romantic. These conversations are essentially unreal and at best only, rehearsals for action -- although, as you know, you almost never say, or do what you imagine you will. Instead of spending time imagining your life and relationships, begin to live them. 6. Talk openly with someone you trust. This need not be a therapist, although it might be. You need both to express your feelings spontaneously and to have someone react honestly. You may well discover that you are not as different or as much of an outsider as you sometimes feel you are. Paradoxically, one of the surest ways of "finding yourself" is by being in a relationship with someone else. 7. Community service of some kind will make you less self-conscious and give you a better perspective on yourself. There are good things in you that you have kept hidden, possibly even from yourself. Find out what they are by getting involved in practical service. 8. Do not succumb to self-pity or to complaining about your parents, thoughts of your unhappy childhood, your unfulfilled past, your failed relationships, and how no one understands you. Someone would likely understand you if you made a real effort to communicate. (One of your type's unhealthy claims is that you have been damaged by your upbringing and are therefore exempt from having realistic expectations of any sort placed on you.) Use your self-knowledge to be aware of the true effects of your negative attitudes. Do not undermine your self-esteem: doing so will only make things worse for yourself. 9. Do not take everything so personally --do not be touchy or hypersensitive, always thinking that every remark is aimed at you. And even if one occasionally is, do not go over it in your mind. After
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all, a critical or hostile remark does not reflect the whole truth about you. In a sense, you have to be more critical of the remarks of others and less critical of yourself. This may also involve learning to defend yourself better, to speak up more spontaneously, and to not allow yourself to be taken advantage of by others. 10. You are a better friend to others than you are to yourself. You tend to say and do things to yourself that you would never dream of saying or doing to anyone else. You are more hostile to yourself than to others, more contemptuous, and less interested in your own true welfare than you should be. In fact, it is easy, for you to take more interest in someone else's life than in your own. Clich though it is, become a friend to yourself. Stand up for yourself and give yourself a chance.

Biblical references for number four

(Reflect on one quote a day during meditation)

A) Sinfulness to Pray through...

1. FOURS are dissatisfied. Lk 24: 13-35. Disciples on the road to Emmaus. Jesus can enter into their disappointment. 2. FOURS can't be ordinary or natural. Mk 10:13-16. Children found Jesus easy to be with. 3. FOURS romanticise feeling. Mt 5:37. Jesus calls to simplicity of expression. 4. FOURS lack joy. Phil 4:4-9. Be happy, always happy in the Lord. 5. FOURS are envious. Jm 4:1-3. Envy is a source of disunity and leads to fights and battles. 6. FOURS are complainers. Jon 4. The prophet complains. God answers. 7. FOURS hold on to hurts and pain. Mk 10:46-52. Eagerness of Bartimaeus to be free of his suffering and Jesus' response. 8. FOURS are inadaptable. Mt 15:21-28. Cure of the daughter of the Canaanite woman. Jesus adapts his mission to reach out to this non-Israelite. 9. FOURS are aloof, disdaining, snobbish. Col 3:12-15. Rules for Christian behaviour include kindness, gentleness, patience and bearing with one another. 10. FOURS are elitist and don't relate easily with the common clay. Mt 9:9-13. Call of Matthew and eating with sinners. Tax collectors and sinners are very comfortable with Jesus. 11. FOURS entertain an elaborate fantasy life. It keeps them out of touch with realty. . Lk 9:2836. Transfiguration. Peter wants to continue the experience; Jesus invites him into the crowd. 12. FOURS are not comfortable with themselves. Is 43:1-5. God calls them by name and finds then, precious. 13. FOURS are serious and seem never to find real happiness - Lk 19: 1 - I 0. See Jesus with Zacchaeus and notice his delighted response. 14. FOURS are preoccupied with death which they dread. Lk 10:29-37. Good Samaritan. FOURS need to reach out to others in need in order to overcome their darkness. 15. FOURS are depressed. Ps 22. Prayer of Jesus on the cross. Notice how his honest naming of his pain and struggle ended in thanksgiving. 16. FOURS talk when out of control. Col 4:5-6. Recommendations on acceptable speech. 17. FOURS play roles and are on stage most of the time. Mt 23:8-12. Jesus warns against playing roles such as Rabbi and Teacher. 18. FOURS are self-centred. I Jn 3:16-20. Love is real and active. 19. FOURS try to control their environment. Mk 8:27-33. Peter confronts Jesus and tries to control the mission. 20. FOURS have expectations for their friends and are not loyal if others don't conform. Lk 22:31-34. Jesus prays for Peter and remains faithful to one who denies him. 21. FOURS lack spontaneity. Mk 1:40-45. Cure of the leper. Look at the natural responses and feelings of Jesus. 22. FOURS are removed from the messy work and resist it. Qo 3:1-8. There is a season for everything in the human condition.
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23. FOURS are brittle; there is no flow in their lives. Jm 5:7-11. Be in tune with the normal process of life. 24. FOURS are over analytical. Jb 38-39. Job bows to the wisdom of God which is beyond human understanding. 25. FOURS find it hard to relate to a group. Mk 6:30-44. Jesus lets go of his own needs to be with the crowd in its need. 26. FOURS are over sensitive to rejection. Jn 18:33-40. Jesus before Pilate. See his experience and response to rejection. 27. FOURS are loners. Gn 2:18-24. God says it is not good for man to be alone or woman either! 28. FOURS are unforgiving. Mt 18:21-35. Seventy times seven you must forgive. Forgiveness is the condition for a relationship with God.

B) Giftedness to rejoice in and strengthen in prayer

1. FOURS appreciate and foster beauty in the world around them. Si 43:13-37. Delight in the wonders of nature. 2. FOURS are sensitive to the outer world. Lk 10:23-24. Happy are those who have seen and heard what you have seen and heard. 3. FOURS have the gift of expressing themselves artistically. Lk 1:67-79. Zechariah's beautiful expressing of God's gifting in the Benedictus. 4. FOURS are sensitive to people. Jn 2:1-12. Mary's sensitivity at Cana. 5. FOURS are in touch with the energy of life. 1 Jn 1: 1-4. Be present to the experience of Jesus and its power. 6. FOURS are natural ecumenists. Ac 10:34-36. Anyone of any nationality who fears God is acceptable to him/her. 7. FOURS do not separate the sacred and the secular. All is sacred. I Jn 4:1-3. Ability to recognise the Spirit in human life. 8. FOURS are at home in the world of the unconscious. Rm 8:1-13. Life in the Spirit. 9. FOURS are refined and cultured. Ep 4:25-32. The importance of respecting one another. 10. FOURS are creative and imaginative persons. Jr 18:1-12. Potter's artistic and creative gift. I 1. FOURS are good-mannered. Ep 4:1-6. Live a life worthy of your call. 12. FOURS are deep. I Cor 2:10-14. Depths of God in the human spirit. 13. FOURS are sensitive to the emotional tone of a group. Jn 13:1-16. Sensitivity of Jesus to the feelings of his disciples in the scene. 14. FOURS have the capacity to change painful experiences of life into something beautiful. 2 Cor 4:16-18. The outer body is decaying, the inner is being renewed. 15. FOURS bring themselves to what they are doing. They become involved in the present. I Cor 3:10-17. You must work carefully. 16. FOURS are very generous when asked to spend themselves on a project. They do it well. is 6:1-9. Isaiah's willingness to serve. 17. FOURS recognise others' talents. I Cor 10:31-33. 1 try to be helpful to everyone. I do not look only for my own advantage. 18. FOURS can appreciate the ordinary and simple things of life. Ps 8. 1 see your heavens, moon and stars.

Reflection & Meditation For Number FOUR

(Reflect on this once a week for a month)
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(Enneagram No Four)

Awareness
Deep down I'm envious. That's my brokenness. I'm usually too ashamed or too caught up in my own feelings to admit this. I'm so afraid of the pain of rejection. I long to be special, to be different, somehow to rise above the ordinary and the mundane. I am especially sensitive to beauty in all its forms. I love anything which is simple, natural, authentic. My standards are so high that the more I try to reach them, the more artificial I become. I can't help comparing myself with people who have more talent, taste, sophistication and class than I have and longing to be somehow superior. I envy them the ease with which they seem to live their lives. It's easier for me to live in memories, dreams and the world of the arts than in the everyday world, where the mess is part of the reality. I have real problems with intimacy and distance. What I have, I don't value; what I long for, I treasure. I'm regularly disappointed by life and this makes me sad. Why is it that others seem to have it all? Even in my relationships I'm jealous of others being somehow more interesting or attractive than I am. I'm ashamed of my body, my inner turmoil disgusts me and I regularly run myself down. Is it any wonder that I have a poor self-image?

Advice
For us the movement is from the romanticized memories of the past and the hoped-for visions of the future to the humdrum reality of the present. We need to learn to be at ease and content with the way things are, understanding that "God is in the pots and pans" (Teresa of Avila), that we meet God in the ordinary, the everyday, the mundane, the pedestrian, the hackneyed. Rather than bemoan people's misunderstanding of who we are, we should try to use our talents for drama, ritual, art, music, poetry and symbol to give a powerful voice to those who cannot speak as eloquently or protest as imaginatively as we can. But we must not be surprised if it takes time for us to readjust our priorities in this way.

Attention
Our tendency is to live on the inside and over-emphasize our feelings. But, if we are to grow spiritually, it is vital that we learn to get our feelings in perspective, and get some balance into the relationship between our inner life and the messy reality around us. Yoga, massage, or aromatherapy may help us relax and become less intense. Journaling (keeping a record of what's happening in our lives) may help us distance ourselves from our feelings, and is a useful safety-valve for externalizing our inner concerns. Since relationships are very important to us, shared prayer and liturgy, and getting involved in social justice issues, can be especially meaningful and 1ife-giving.

Scripture meditation for Number FOUR

(One quote a week)

(Tony Thampi K., c.s.c.)

(Enneagram No Four)

1) Matthew 6:25-34 (Everything is in God's hands)

Nothing is ordinary in God's sight. Even the birds of the air and the grass in the fields take on a numinous significance, an eternal aspect which reflects the tender care of the Creator. We are no less special or cared for than they are. The ordinary is energized when seen in this light, and distinctions between sacred and secular disappear.

2) Matthew 18.23-35 (The unforgiving steward)

Jesus tells us that when we are consumed with our own self-interest we lose our sense of proportion, our compassion and our sensitivity to others.

3) Mark 10:13-16 (Like little children)

Children are still open to the wonder of life. They have not lost their delight in the everyday. Familiarity has not yet led them to contempt. They see the beauty of things with innocent eyes and listen to their truth with a welcoming heart.

4) John 19:1 -11 (Being crowned with thorns)

Jesus experienced abandonment and rejection in dramatic fashion towards the end of his life. But, however humiliated, he relied on God's help and placed himself in God's care.

5) John 2:1-12 (The wedding at Cana)

Everyday elements (water and wine) combined with a discerning heart can transform impending disasters into celebrations of joy. Like Jesus and Mary we can bring happiness to others by our sensitivity to their needs.

(Tony Thampi K., c.s.c.)