StrategyVersion - How To Look Good

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How to look good without cosmetic surgery
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Copyright This e-book is copyright. Apart from any fair dealing for the purpose of private study, research, criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright Act, no part may be reproduced by any process without written permission from the publisher.
However, you are free to forward this E-book to anybody you like, as long as you distribute it in its entirety, don't change it in any way and don't charge money for it.
Liability disclaimer The information in this e-book is of a general nature and may not suit everyone or every situation. While every care has been taken to ensure it is useful and appropriate it may not suit your specific issues. No responsibility can be taken for the results gained from its implementation. Please seek individual professional guidance for any difficulties you may have in your health, emotions, selfconfidence, self-esteem or physical appearance.
Acknowledgements Many thanks go to Fran Yeoh for her endless typing, thorough research and happy disposition, to all the women who sent me their stories, to Mike Green for his proofreading, to Greg Allen for the cover design, and to all those who have inspired me over the years, of whom there are so many. Thanks to www.clipart.com for the cover photograph.
Publisher details Published by: RachelGreen.Com Pty Ltd trading as Confident Woman Australia. Location: Perth, Western Australia. Copyright: RachelGreen.Com Pty Ltd 2009. First edition published: June 2009. ISBN: 0-9775081-0-2.
2009 Rachel Green.Com Pty Ltd
RachelGreen.Com
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Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION SECTION ONE: IS COSMETIC SURGERY NEEDED?

Cosmetic surgery & attractiveness are they the same? Quiz: Why do you want cosmetic surgery? Twenty-one reasons not to have cosmetic surgery.
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SECTION TWO: EASY WAYS TO LOOK GOOD WITHOUT COSMETIC SURGERY.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. By appreciating what you do have. By smiling with genuine pleasure. By keeping your energy levels boosted. By routinely having top quality sleep. By monitoring your food intake. By drinking lots of water. By taking care of your eyes. By not sitting out in the sun for hours. By not smoking. By lowering your stress levels. By practising meditation. By practising loving-kindness meditation.
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2009 Confident Woman Australia
Confident-Woman.com.au
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13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29.
By practising Tai Chi for a beautiful mind and body. By developing an attractive, graceful body through Feldenkrais. By focusing your perspective on your good angle. By celebrating every year you have and spreading joy that is attractive. By keeping your hair its natural colour. By wearing the best colours. By gently grooming your body. By wearing clothes that flatter your body. By enjoying a good sex life. By ditching anger, bitterness and negativity. By laughing a lot. By being kind and generous. By doing voluntary work with people who are less well off than you are. By choosing make-up and hair products that highlight your looks. By taking a lesson from other cultures. By following time tested beauty tips. By being your beautiful self.
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SECTION THREE: FURTHER RESOURCES

Cosmetic surgery facts. Happiness ideas. The Feldenkrais Method.
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How to meditate. Tai Chi. How to sleep better. How to present yourself well. How to have more energy. How to deal with teasing and putdowns. "Happiness over 40". A full list of materials, by Rachel Green, to help you build your confidence and selfesteem, gain new skills and be successful. About the author, Rachel Green. How to contact Rachel.
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Introduction
Do you like yourself? Are you content with how you look? Or do you often wish you were somehow better looking, shaped differently or without your own nose, breasts or fat? If you don't like the way you look or you yearn to look better, I want to say straight away that looking good and being attractive require more than a surgical procedure or the alteration of a physical feature. However, this book is not about bashing the cosmetic surgery business. It is based on something far more important than that a desire to affirm women for who they are. I want to inspire women to feel good about themselves, to appreciate their real selves, and to value their own beauty. In this way women can truly build their self-esteem, find a lasting self-confidence and look stunning, whatever their age. So stunning that they have plenty of friends and admirers, and are successful and happy. If you aren't happy with how you look you are one of many. In 2008, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons reported that almost 12 million cosmetic surgery procedures were performed in 2007. The figures are staggering. This is a 59% increase from 2000. The top surgical procedure in the USA in 2007 was breast augmentation with 348,000 procedures being performed. Nose reshaping was performed 285,000 times. Botox procedures were conducted 4.6 million times. This was up 13% from 2000. The total amount spent on these procedures in the USA alone in 2007 was $12.4 BILLION dollars. The Australian Society of Plastic Surgeons has no such statistics because, they say, so many different practitioners perform cosmetic surgery, from plastic surgeons to cosmetic doctors and dermatologists, thus making statistical collection difficult. However, there is general acceptance that such procedures are on the rise in Australia too. A similar trend has been reported in the UK as well. Here breast augmentation is the most popular procedure, closely followed by blepharoplasty, an eyelid procedure to remove fat. Why? Surely we aren't so badly disfigured that millions of us need to spend such large amounts of money and time on these procedures?
2009 Rachel Green.Com Pty Ltd
RachelGreen.Com
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What does it say about our belief systems, our self-esteem, and our desire for the "perfect" body whatever the cost? Have we really been taken in by the advertisements to such an extent that we now believe we need cosmetic surgery just to get on with a normal life, look good and be happy? Some people sustain horrific injuries, whether from a car accident, a shooting, a fire, a bomb blast or some other accident or tragedy. These people may have their facial features and bodies badly disfigured. Cosmetic and plastic surgery for such people are to be praised, encouraged and provided. The work done, for example, by Dr Fiona Wood in the Burns Unit at Royal Perth Hospital for the survivors of the Bali bomb blasts, and other burns victims, is a testimony to the importance of such work. Such people should get all the support and care possible. Similarly, some people are born with birth defects. For example, they may have a cleft lip or palate where the lip or palate is not sealed so they can't eat, drink or kiss normally. These people need to have cosmetic and plastic surgery made available to them, irrespective of how much money they have or where they live. In contrast, those of us who simply show some of the wear and tear of ageing do we really need surgery? Just because we aren't as slim as we used to be, or a wrinkle appears, or a tooth isn't straight, do we need to alter it? Surely we can look good and feel good without cosmetic surgery? However, it isn't just people who are in their 40s or 50s having surgery, it is also young women and girls aged 16 and 17. How sad is that? Perfectly beautiful, young women are having surgery when they look quite normal, but they don't think normal is good enough. Some women are also having surgery because they want to look like someone else. They think that looking like a film star will bring them immeasurable joy and happiness. Yet, many of our film stars fail to have enduring and happy relationships. How many end up needing rehabilitation for drug or alcohol addiction or even depression? Why do we need to emulate other people's bodies? Why do we worship celebrities as if they have the answers? They don't. There was a quiz on a website I was reading recently on depression: http://www.female.com.au/tackling_blues.htm where they asked the following question: Which female body do you aspire to imitate: Angelina Jolie? Beyonce?
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Britney Spears? Elle McPherson? Jennifer Anniston? Kate Ceberano? Madona? Victoria Beckham? What answer would you give? The answer for me was none. You may have a different answer. Why would you or anyone think that trying to emulate anyone else's body is a worthwhile pastime? It isn't. Why do we spend so much time on how our bodies look? Aren't there more productive things we could be doing? Why aren't we happy with what we've got? These are questions that will be answered in this book. And they need answering. Why? Because when we understand the reasons behind our obsession with our bodies or our desires to hide any evidence of an ageing body, or our pursuit of physical perfection, then we take an important step towards greater contentment and a higher self-esteem. Do we really believe that our self-esteem and self-confidence are fixed by surgery? It appears so. Yet there are so many other proven ways to increase self-esteem and selfconfidence that cost far less money, require no surgery, and are more reliable and longer lasting. Low self-esteem is an inner issue; it goes on inside us. A low self-esteem occurs when we evaluate what we have and we feel dissatisfied with it. Surely it's our inner view of ourselves that needs fixing, isn't it? This book will also answer other questions too. For example, why is it that we think cosmetic surgery has the answers to what we are searching for? And finally, how can we make the most of what we've got and look good without cosmetic surgery or heavy make-up? There are many ways to do this, details of which are given later for you. I have to say that my interest in your looking good is not based on the type of leg wax you use, or even if your legs are waxed at all. Nor is it going to be much concerned about the shape, colour or thickness of your eyebrows. Indeed, to be totally radical, I'm not going to pay any attention to whether you have cellulite or not, or whether your lips are thin or thick, pale or red, matt or glossy; nor to whether one anti-wrinkle cream is more successful than another, nor to your breast size.
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Instead, I'm interested in helping you feel good about yourself, in helping your skin glow because you're so full of energy, in helping you find ways to look good that will not cost you a cent. Yes! You read it correctly. It is possible to do things that will help you not only look good and feel good but also that involve no cost whatsoever. Finally, I am sure that we want to look good because we assume looking good will bring us happiness. However, some people are never happy, no matter how good they look. For example, Elle McPherson is judged by many to be a truly beautiful woman, but her looks have not prevented her from needing treatment for depression, if the news reports are correct. In contrast others, with less than average looks, ooze with happiness and delight. Consequently, you'll read about the relationship between happiness and good looks in this book too. There'll even be some really useful and practical tips on how to be happy. After all, a smile that beams can make the most ordinary person look divine and definitely attractive. When you feel good about yourself from the inside out then you'll look good too.
Rachel Green Perth, Western Australia June 2009.
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SECTION ONE: Is cosmetic surgery needed?
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Cosmetic surgery & attractiveness are they the same?

I could be considered physically unattractive. I have wrinkles and grey hair. I have a "big" nose. I have short legs. Despite this, I feel no need for cosmetic surgery. I have never had cosmetic surgery. Nor do I dye my hair. I seldom feel the need to wear make-up either. In fact, when I turned 50 I decided I'd stop wearing make-up. I hadn't worn foundation for years, because I hadn't seen any reason to cover my skin or clog my pores with it. Then I stopped wearing mascara too. I didn't like the claggy feeling around my eyes. Of course, colleagues said, "Oh, but you have to wear make-up, you're working in the corporate sector and it's expected", or "But you need to wear make-up to look professional." "Well", I thought, "let's test this, because after all, my male clients don't wear make-up and I'm not sure they care." So I tested it. Have I had any fewer 1-1 coaching sessions? No. I've had more. Have I had any fewer speaking engagements? No. In fact, they've increased. Have my audiences stopped laughing? No. Do I get invited back? Yes. Do I still feel good about myself? Yes! In addition to this, some, at least would also consider me "attractive". Am I attractive to everyone? Goodness me, no, but then I don't need "the world" to think I'm beautiful, do you? How could some people possibly find someone, such as me, attractive? It's because beauty is more than our skin. Attractiveness is not determined by the colour of our hair. Attractiveness does not require breasts of a certain size. Instead, features such as happiness; clear, sparkling eyes; glowing skin; and such like, can help us to be attractive and look good. So can characteristics such as energy, flexibility, grace and vivaciousness. Our personality can also make us attractive. So can our attitude, our sense of humour and our ability to engage with others. Attractiveness is far more than how you or I look, and it is far more than being "pretty" like a doll. There are so many components to it. For example, I was listening to the radio recently and the male presenter was interviewing Nikki Hudson, a recently retired and very successful Australian hockey player. All we could hear throughout the broadcast was her voice, how she spoke, her laugh and what she had to say. I was immediately struck by how gorgeous she sounded and listened to every word.
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She had a delightful sense of humour. For instance, at one point she said since she'd stopped playing hockey she still went running but now kept a ten dollar note in her bra in case she felt like stopping off for a coffee or a champagne! She roared with laughter and so did the announcer. At the end, he said something along the lines of, "There are many of us who'd be very happy to come and join you for a coffee!" She was clearly attractive! Just her voice and sense of humour were enough for this to be so. No cosmetic surgery needed. Does it make sense then to have cosmetic surgery to become more attractive and boost our selfesteem? Not really. If your self-confidence or self-esteem drops, would it not make more sense first to find out why? Yes. In order to do this it means you need to look on the inside, not the outside. You need to spend time examining your thoughts, feelings, personality, attitudes, self-concept, values, beliefs, history and more. Why? Because it is these factors that influence how we feel about ourselves. Therefore, why do we think cosmetic surgery is the fix we need? In most cases, it isn't. Let's not place so much emphasis on surgically and artificially made "beauty", because when we do we undermine our inner beauty, our skills, and the unique and precious looks and character we were born with. Such an emphasis can make us lose our perspective on what is important and make our lives a circus of anxiety, worry and trivia. As women, we have so much that we can contribute to the world; surely there is something better that we can spend our money and time on than cosmetic surgery?
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Quiz: Why do you want cosmetic surgery?

Let's find out in the following quiz why you might want cosmetic surgery. Tick those that apply to you. I want cosmetic surgery in order to: Look beautiful. Be more attractive. Look good. Be admired more. Attract a better lover/boyfriend/partner/husband. Attract men with more money. Feel sexier. Be liked. Gain more friends. Like myself more. Be happy. Feel more feminine. Stop people teasing me about my body. Avoid my body's shortcomings. Do what my friends are doing. Keep up with the fashion. Do what the celebrities are doing. Stop myself from looking older. Look younger than I really am. Feel more self-confident. Get rid of my embarrassment over my "blemishes". Improve my chances of promotion at work. Get a new job. Attract more clients or make more sales. Give myself a competitive edge.
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Answers to the quiz. Add up your scores. How many reasons did you give for having cosmetic surgery? There are a possible total of 25. If you scored 15 25 then you may be very disappointed. Many of the reasons you're giving to have cosmetic surgery may not be well founded. For example, you won't automatically be sexier. Do you really think that the shape of your nose or a wrinkle on your skin will make all the difference as to whether men or women will find you attractive or not? Take a look at the wonderful Barbara Streisand. She's beautiful. She has a nose that is noticeable. She is successful. She is rich. The size of your nose is not what determines your attractiveness and success. Whatever your reasons, are they really a valid justification for cosmetic surgery? Probably not. Whatever items you have ticked, there are many ways you can overcome the issues, without cosmetic surgery. For example, you may want more friends. Friendships are not automatically based on looks. You may find friends come far more easily when you improve your conversational skills and join in relevant social activities than when you have breast augmentation or a Botox procedure. In addition, there are many reasons not to have cosmetic surgery. Lets look at what some of these are.
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Twenty-one reasons not to have cosmetic surgery.

1. There is no one look that is universally attractive. Attractiveness and beauty are in the eye of the beholder. What one man or woman thinks attractive in a woman, another one doesn't. Some men like women with long legs, others dont. Some like long hair, others dont. Some prefer women with a good sense of humour or a sexy voice and don't notice what you look like, others do. There are plenty of ways to appear attractive, not just one. Make sure that all the pictures of "glamour" women in the women's magazines are not misleading you. These days their photos are enhanced. What you see in the magazines is not reality. I'd like you to look at the following picture; I used it as part of a presentation I gave at a conference where I asked people to describe it. How would you describe this nose?
Here are the words people at the conference used:
Pointed Determined Pert Prominent Open nostril Small and sharp Roman
Did your description match any of these words?
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What interested me was that the words were not the same. People judge looks differently. What is beautiful to one person may seem ugly to the next. What seems "pointed" to one is "Roman" to another. What is "prominent" to one is "small" to another! What all this means to me is that someone else might already think you're gorgeous. Even if you don't think so other people may regard you as beautiful, attractive or good looking. Don't judge yourself against the models of the magazines just find the people who think you look good and hear what they have to say. There is no one way of looking attractive; there are countless ways. What is classed as beautiful differs for each person. Ignore the stereotypes. They are false.
2.
There's no guarantee you'll look better afterwards. Have you noticed that some people, after plastic surgery, have tight faces; as if they can't smile? Or their eyes are drawn and narrowed. Or they can't wrinkle their forehead any more, so they look odd when they're worried, surprised or quizzical. However high the success rate, people don't always look better afterwards. It does not come with a 100% guarantee.
3.
You are more than your body. Your body, your face and your skin are only an outer representation of who you are. The real you resides inside your body. It is the real you that has character it is your charisma that can attract or repel. You can have the smoothest skin in the world but a mean heart, a bitchy personality and a negative attitude and people will stay away from you. If you want to be admired more there are many things you can do other than cosmetic surgery. Look around the world at some of the most successful women, those who rule their countries, are presidents, prime ministers, or members of parliament, or those who have won awards and done tremendous good in the world. They have thousands of admirers, but aren't glamour models with surgically altered teeth or noses. For example, Dr. Fiona Stanley, (Australian of the Year 2003), Tania Major, (Young Australian of the Year, 2007) have many admirers without fitting the stereotypical concept of physical beauty. Instead they have an amazing spirit and an inner beauty that is inspiring. You are more than your body focus on the whole of you.
4.
Laughter lines are attractive. People are not attracted to tight drawn faces but to those full of personality. I collect pictures and photos of people that I really like. On glancing through the pictures recently, I found a picture from the newspaper of a woman on her graduation with the most enormous smile
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and wrinkles. She looks gorgeous and full of life. Wrinkles can add to a personal presence; character is attractive. Why therefore, would you want Botox to take your wrinkles away? You will lose your character and you've just spent your life building that up.
5.
You could save money. Many of us dream of not having to work so hard, of being able to have the home, trip or car of our dreams. Every time we have cosmetic surgery we are spending money that could have helped us retire, or pay off our mortgage, or buy our dream holiday. Simply investing your money, or paying off your mortgage may help you get rich faster than if you have cosmetic surgery. The good thing is that it doesn't matter one bit what you look like to the stock exchange, or to be a property owner. As for wanting rich men, there are only so many of them to go around! If we all had cosmetic surgery, and we all changed our looks, we still wouldn't all end up with rich men. By the way, rich men aren't necessarily gorgeous men. There are some absolutely kind, wonderful and interesting men who aren't rich and who make marvellous lovers, husbands and friends. And there are some rich men who abuse their wives. Make sure you aren't missing out on the good men because you're chasing impossible dreams. We, as women, can also create our own wealth. We don't need a rich partner to rely on. Instead of spending money on cosmetic surgery, we could spend it on our education and become both better informed and richer.
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Someone else gets rich at your expense. If being rich is important to you, have you noticed that when youve paid for cosmetic surgery, someone else is getting rich at your expense while your money is disappearing? You wouldn't stand out in the street handing your money over to a passer-by, why to a cosmetic surgeon? I haven't yet met a poor cosmetic surgeon, have you? (Except for the ones, of course, who devote their skills and expertise working with the poor in underdeveloped countries or parts of our own nation, whom I admire immensely.)
7.
Sexuality is not dependent on breast size. There is more to sensuality and sexuality than large breasts or a tight bottom. It's how you feel about yourself and the other people you are with, (and often what you are fantasising about inside your head), rather than the size of your breasts, that makes you sexy.
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It's more about how sexual you are, how willing you are to learn about being sexual, and what you do with what you've got, that makes the difference, not your actual body. As one of my male friends, who loves small breasts on women, once said, "Any extra bit of breast that doesn't fit in my mouth is wasted". I know women with small breasts who have lovers lining up. Why? Because they're sexy. If you want to attract a better lover/boyfriend/partner/husband there are many things that you can do without cosmetic surgery. One fascinating article I read once was about a training programme to develop, "The Whore Within". It was to help women who felt insecure sexually to know how to be sexy. They sounded to have a great time. By all reports the husbands and lovers were delighted with the results.
8.
Cosmetic surgery doesn't necessarily improve your sex life. Cosmetic surgery isn't always a turn on. Another of my male friends told me what a turn off it was to try to make love to a woman who'd had cosmetic surgery. He'd gone away with her for "a dirty weekend" and when they were starting to make love he felt her breasts. He said the whole weekend ground to a drooping halt when he felt the implants she had in them. Thus, cosmetic surgery does not guarantee that your sex life will improve. Indeed, it may make it worse. If you want to have a better sex life, there are many resources available for you to learn from. There are books, sex therapists, movies, sex shops and toys, and many more ways you can improve your sex life without cosmetic surgery.
9.
Friends don't need you to look "beautiful". There is no evidence that really beautiful women have better friends than those who don't. Nor is there any evidence I know of that says friendship is based on beauty. Far from it, when you are really attractive you can end up leading a very shallow existence. People get attracted to you because of your looks not because of who you are. They like to show you off, not really get to know you. They treat you like a "cute toy" not as a real person. And they move on from you when another "beauty" comes along. High levels of attractiveness can also lead to jealousy. Women are notorious for bringing each other down and not allowing fellow women to stand out from the pack. Sometimes looking "normal" can appear less threatening to other women and therefore attract more friends to you. Why? Because they don't feel they have to compete with you.
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What type of friends can a "normal" looking person attract? Real friends. Friends who are willing to support and nurture you who are willing to love you, blemishes, imperfections and all. Friends who are willing to let you be and allow you to be who you really are. Friendships can still occur no matter how you look. It's who you are that matters more.
10.
You may not feel better about yourself after the cosmetic surgery. If your inner life is lacking in confidence it may stay exactly the same after cosmetic alteration. If you don't like yourself at the moment, it is more likely to be something on the inside that is causing it rather than something on the outside. You may put all your attention on to, and blame, your looks, but it is more likely to be what you say to yourself about your life, your looks, and your personality that lowers your self-esteem and self-confidence. Many factors can contribute to your not liking yourself. Maybe you were told a lot of hurtful comments or were emotionally abused as a child. Maybe you were teased at school. Maybe you are very critical of yourself. Maybe you compare yourself with others too much. Maybe you idolise celebrities whose lives are really a mess. Maybe you are an unrealistic perfectionist. Maybe you've been sucked in by the advertisers. Maybe you've not spent enough time learning the skills you need. Blaming your looks is more often a symptom of an underlying self-esteem problem, rather than the cause itself.
11.
You are looking in the wrong place for happiness. Happiness is possible without cosmetic surgery. It is not to be found in the mirror, via a tape measure or on the weighing scales. It's inside you. It's already there. It's just that it gets covered up with other things, busy-ness, stimulation and excitement, rush, possessions, and fear. According to one of the leading researchers into happiness, Martin Seligman, "Authentic happiness comes from identifying and cultivating your most fundamental strengths and using them every day in work, love, play and parenting." In other words happiness springs from the gifts and talents you have, not from trying to become visually perfect or correcting a supposed weakness or flaw.
12.
It's okay to look normal. Most of us are blessed to look quite "normal". Normal is good enough. Be grateful for what you've got. If you're not, it's more important to work out why you are not grateful for your looks than it is to alter them. If you are unhappy with yourself, if you lack confidence, self-
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esteem or don't like yourself there are ways to help you with this that are more rewarding and less drastic than cosmetic surgery. Looking normal also has its advantages. Sometimes it can mean people don't get distracted by your looks. Instead, they focus upon the kind of person you are, how bright and intelligent you are, how good you are in bed, or what a good mum, cook or colleague you are! It's okay to look normal.
13.
Femininity is more than your looks. Being a woman and being feminine are so much more than how you look. How you walk, how you talk, how well you listen, how well you can show empathy, how much compassion you have, how rich your spiritual life is, how tender, caring and kind you are, how skilled you are at looking after people, how much love you have to give all these are important parts of being feminine and being a woman. And none of them are to be gained via cosmetic surgery.
14.
There are other ways to manage teasing. If we have endured teasing about our looks, we may carry the emotional hurt associated with this for a long time. We may also end up not liking how we look because of it. For example, sometimes at school children can be really mean. They target other children who they think are weak and vulnerable. They pick on aspects of them that they think will upset their sensitivities and often this is some aspect of their physical appearance, whether it's their big ears, red hair or big nose. This teasing can lower the child's self-esteem and be carried into adulthood. However, if you get upset with teasing, cosmetic surgery isn't the only answer. I sympathise if there is a very striking feature that people mercilessly pick on. I understand fully you might want that altered by cosmetic surgery. Nonetheless, it is even more important that you learn to stand tall, to be proud, to like yourself. Then if someone teases you, you can brush it off and not be hurt. Then teasing doesn't matter. I remember being bullied at school. I was sensitive. I was vulnerable. I had physical features that people mocked. This upset me. I therefore became a target. What I learnt as I got older was that those of us who react badly to teasing are the ones that get teased the most. When we respond by getting hurt or defensive we increase the chance of our being further teased.
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In contrast, I discovered that if I was able to let it all wash over me like water off a duck's back, I didn't feel hurt and I didn't take offence, I stopped getting teased. People stopped putting me down because there was no longer anything in it for them. Now that's sweet. The worst case scenario is that you have cosmetic surgery, and people find out and they start teasing you about having cosmetic surgery. If you are still vulnerable to being hurt by teasing, then your life may be as miserable after surgery as it was before. If this is an issue for you, there is a CD set "How to deal with difficult people without getting upset" that can help you stop taking comments to heart.
15.
It's your dissatisfaction that needs facing. Have you ever noticed that some women never seem satisfied with what they have or how they are? How many women with straight hair do you know who go out of their way to curl it? How many women do you know who have curly or wavy hair who go to the effort of straightening it? Wouldn't it just be easier to be satisfied with what we have? For example, is it not possible to simply be satisfied with your breast size instead of having surgery? One of my friends has a relatively slim body and the most enormous breasts. She'd had small breasts prior to childbirth, but even nine years after her children were born she had been left with huge breasts. They were very obvious to her and people who saw her. They always came before her. They were also uncomfortable at pre-menstrual time because of painful fluid retention. And they were heavy to carry around. She considered cosmetic surgery as she wanted them to be smaller, (but decided against it). On the other side, there are women trying to artificially enhance their breasts to make them as big as this woman's. I know one woman, a single mother, with a mortgage, who took out an $8,000 loan just to increase her breasts. Why? She put her own and her child's financial security at risk. People seem unhappy with what they've got and seem to think that something else is better. It isn't. For greater happiness be satisfied with what you have.
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16.
Fashions aren't for your sake. It is the fashion at the moment to have cosmetic surgery. Have you ever wondered where fashions come from? They are invented by people who want to make money out of you. Glossy magazines advertise the latest pair of shoes, the new look in jackets, or the latest colours, not because they care about you or how you look, but because they want to sell you something. In fact, you might look dreadful in the season's colours or the latest skirt length but they don't care. They don't even know you. They just want your money. If you are therefore having cosmetic surgery just because everyone else is stop to ask yourself, "Why?". Why are you following them? Why are they doing it? Are they just doing it because others are doing it? Are they simply having their lives driven by salespeople? Is this really what you want? Smoking was also made fashionable by people who wanted your money. Smoking we now know can kill you. Fashion is not there for your good. It's there because other people want to get rich at your expense. Why do so many celebrities have cosmetic surgery? Because they are on the same merrygo-round as everyone else. And because they are also not happy. If they aren't happy and they already have fame and fortune, (and in most cases stunning good looks), then clearly that's not where happiness is. If the celebrities aren't happy then why are we emulating them? Happiness is clearly elsewhere. Just because cosmetic surgery is fashionable doesn't make it right.
17.
Your age is perfect. If you want to look younger than you really are, or you don't want to look any older, here's another quiz for you. Tick those that apply to you. I am bothered about looking old because I: Think it's embarrassing to live a long time. Don't think people will like me if I look my age. Would rather die young. Think only young people are wanted in our society. Think it's wrong to have wrinkles. Think grey hair is unattractive. Think I won't be sexy any more. Believe there is something wrong with showing my age. Believe I won't be employable.
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Seriously. What is wrong with looking your age? With accepting your age? All the worry you put into trying not to look your age will probably contribute to your ageing. Look deep down inside. What is it that you fear? Is it that you don't want to accept that you're moving closer to death? Is it that you think no-one will respect or like you any more? Or is it that you won't like yourself? I honestly do not understand what the issue is. I'm 56, and hope one day to reach 96, and then to die peacefully in my sleep! That would be wonderful. Now in order to do that there are a bundle of things I need to do to keep me healthy, such as exercising, having enough calcium to keep my bones strong, eating a low-fat diet to keep my heart beating, laughing a lot to help my immune system stay healthy, and so on. The list is long but nowhere do I find the need to get rid of my wrinkles. Let's stand up and celebrate our years. After all, I bet you know one huge amount more than you did in your early 20s when you thought you knew it all, don't you? That's just one of the many gifts of ageing. Now, if your hip no longer allows you to walk, or your knee causes you so much pain you are immobile - then I fully understand that surgery for replacement parts is a vital part of your wellbeing. But just to get rid of wrinkles come off it do they really matter? Honestly, they don't. It's just vanity.
18.
Looks are not the only factor that contribute to your success at work. It concerns me greatly that there are growing numbers of women who believe they need cosmetic surgery in order to succeed at work. Really? What false premise is this based on? Looks are only a very small part of the work success story. Women need to use their brains at work, to show how smart they are, to manage people magnificently, to manage their priorities, deadlines and selves really well. They need to achieve their KPIs (key performance indicators), be competent, be capable, get results, be efficient, speak out, stand up for themselves, sell themselves at job interviews, market themselves, go networking, choose careers and jobs that best suit their strengths, handle conflict skilfully, problem solve well, communicate clearly, and more. The list is all about skills. Women need to be skilled to achieve success at work. One of the biggest ways in which women let themselves down at work, is by holding back from promoting themselves on the job and in job interviews. Many women, for example, undersell themselves at job interviews, and thus miss out on promotions.
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Similarly, they will do an excellent job but not tell people such as their mangers and bosses, and still somehow expect others to know how good they are. By staying away from self-promotion many women hold themselves back. So what are these women going to do? Just hope their increased breast size will get them the job instead? Oh, come off it we can be smarter than that. Cosmetic surgery is not going to fix a lack of self-promotion, job interview skills training is far more likely to. I know this as I have trained women who have failed at job interviews, taught them what to do, and they have gone to the next job interview, still looking exactly the same, and got the next job. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons released a report in 2009 which said, "In a new telephone survey of 756 women, between the ages of 18 and 64, many revealed that cosmetic plastic surgery procedures now appear to be an important rung on the success ladder." This is chilling. It is an alarming belief that holds women back from developing the skills they really need. What happened to all the battles for equality that were fought on our behalf? The report continues, "13%, (more than 1 in 10 of the 115 million working-age USA women), say they would consider having a cosmetic medical procedure specifically to make them more confident and more competitive in the job market." I hope this shocks you too. It is simply not true that so many of us need to do this. Is breast size or the type of eye-lids we have really so important at work? Is it such an integral and enormous part of our identities that we have to alter our breasts or eyelids, in our thousands, each year to be promoted? Of course, the plastic surgeons might tell you that we do. They probably will disagree with me on what I say. I'd expect them to. It's how they make their living, after all. In contrast, what also interests me is that there are now an increasing number of employers who are actively seeking older employees. Why? Because older workers have been found to stay longer in a job then generation X and generation Y. Also, older workers know more and have more life experience. Of course, in the odd case there could be a significant benefit in having smaller breasts. For example, if you have massive breasts and find that in meetings, or when dealing with male customers, they take the attention away from your intelligence and contribution, then maybe you have a slight case. But even that's not automatic, as the way you dress makes a huge difference to what people notice.
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However, it was breast augmentation and not reduction that was the highest cosmetic procedure on the list. I can't find any reason that larger breasts will legitimately increase most career prospects, if you are also skilled, and know how to sell yourself.
19.
Cosmetic surgery may not be a one-off event. Cosmetic surgery is not a one-off event. Many women, in particular, have more than one cosmetic procedure. One set of figures I saw, from the USA, said 49% of women had multiple cosmetic procedures during the same year. Once you join the merry-go-round, you can stay on it, wanting more. It can become like an addiction. Addictions are known not to be good for you. Once you start you may not be able to stop. Surely also, if so many women needed multiple procedures doesn't this indicate that the first one didn't boost their self-confidence or self-esteem enough, or the results didn't last long enough?
20.
Surgical procedures are a health hazard. In some cases with cosmetic surgery you are subjecting yourself to surgical procedures. All surgical procedures have inherent risks in them no matter how "safe" they are. For example, there is a slight danger that you will die under anaesthetic. There is a possibility that your scar tissue won't heal properly. There is always a danger of complications setting in. My cousin had surgery for varicose veins and died under anaesthetic. Even make-up may be a health hazard. Do you actually know what you are swallowing every time you put on lipstick? I can't recall the exact figure but I remember reading about the amount of lipstick women eat every year. It was colossal. It's the same with base or foundation make-up. Do you know what the ingredients in yours are? What are you taking into your body through your skin? Could it be harmful?
21.
Cosmetic surgery doesn't stop starvation. There are many people in need of help in the world. There are young children who with a mere $50 could be saved from starving to death. There are teenagers who are suicidal because they despair of ever belonging but help is not available because there is no money to pay for counsellors. There are adults going blind who are without surgeons to restore their vision because they are too poor.
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Instead of spending money on cosmetic surgery, (if you look normal), wouldn't it be better to give the money to help these people? Kindness brings light and love into people's hearts. And this will help make you glow with wonder. And when you glow you will look beautiful.
Do we really need cosmetic surgery? In most cases we don't. We just need to let our hearts sing with gratitude for what we have. However, I understand you do want to look good, this I accept and appreciate. Let's now cover, therefore, how to look good without cosmetic surgery.
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SECTION TWO: Easy ways to look good without cosmetic surgery.
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1.
By appreciating what you do have.
People who have gratitude for what they have shine. They look good. And they are happier. Appreciating what you have is good for you. How can you appreciate what you have? One way to help you is to start writing a gratitude logbook. Just take a small blank notebook and write gratitude notes in it each day, i.e. what you have that you are thankful for. Include every small thing. It might be that you are healthy. That you can walk easily. That you have two eyes that can see clearly. That you have two hands that can pick up things. That you have teeth that can bite. That you have food for breakfast. That there is a beautiful flower growing on your balcony. That your cat loves you. That you have a flushing toilet. That you have a good friend. That you . What is it that you have? Recall different items each day. Write them down. Each day, after you have finished your list, write "thank you" next to each one. In this way you can develop gratitude and enthusiasm for the wonderful things you do have. What's more it's free, painless and needs no-one else to do it for you. Furthermore, it increases happiness and there is now scientific evidence to prove this. In a book called, "Thanks: How the new science of gratitude can make you happier", scientist Robert Emmons, professor at the University of California, Davis, says, "People who regularly practice grateful thinking can increase their 'set-point' for happiness by as much as 25%". He also says, "Keeping a gratitude journal for as little as three weeks can result in better sleep and energy". Developing an attitude of gratitude takes your attention away from the few things that don't seem so satisfying. It helps you keep them in perspective. It reduces frowns and worries on your face and brings your skin, face and energy alive. Thus it helps you look good. Gratitude also leads to happiness and that, after all, is really what you want, isn't it?
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2.
By smiling with genuine pleasure.
Smiling is a huge part of looking good. The willingness to smile is a willingness to give something to the world. People respond positively to smiles. If you smile you are more likely to get a smile back. If you frown you are more likely to get a frown back. How hard is it to smile? It's really quite easy. However, you need to be giving a genuine smile not a grimace such as the ones I ended up giving at the end of my wedding day because I was all smiled out! Of course, you might argue you don't like smiling because your teeth aren't good enough. Now hang on a minute, who said your teeth aren't good enough? Your friends? Your lover? Your cosmetic dentist? People can have gaps in their teeth, or have crooked teeth or show lots of gum when they smile but it doesn't stop their smiles making them attractive. A smile is far more than whether your teeth are white or not or straight or not. Don't be robbed of your own beauty by comparing yourself to all those pearly white smiles on the artificially manicured photographs in the glossy magazines. I can make my teeth sparkling white in the Photoshop software as well. When has anyone ever said, "I'm sorry, I don't like you, you don't look good enough because your teeth aren't white enough?" Come on, in the real world this isn't an issue. If someone does say it to you, unless you've got stained teeth from smoking or chewing tobacco, it's more likely that the other person is mean and unkind, and is not the kind of person you want in your life anyway. In addition, a smile does not only involve the mouth that's only one component of it. A genuine smile includes the rest of your face, as well, and especially your eyes. In a genuine smile the eyes crinkle up too. There has been a study by LeeAnne Harker and Dacher Kelbner, which has demonstrated the attractiveness and value of a genuine smile. They looked at the college yearbook photographs of 141 students at the age of 21 and examined their smiles. They found two kinds of smiles a genuine one with the corners of the mouth turned up, raised cheeks and crinkly eyes; and a false one, which lacked these key features.
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They then contacted all the women three times over their lives, when they were 27, 43 and 53 years old. They asked them about their health, marriages, family, social roles and work. They obtained interesting results. Can you guess what they were? They found that those with genuine smiles were more likely to be married by age 27, to stay married and to still have satisfying marriages 30 years later than those with false smiles. Those with genuine smiles also had higher ratings of wellbeing. Of even more importance to us here, all the women were rated by three sets of people, (undergraduate college students, graduate students and people aged 50-60), for levels of physical attractiveness. The results showed that looks had nothing to do with ensuring a satisfying marriage or life satisfaction. Instead, it was the genuine smiling women who were more likely to be well-wed and happy. The expression of a genuine smile was linked to "marital satisfaction and personal wellbeing, up to 30 years later." Their conclusion was, "People enjoy and may more actively seek out interactions with these sorts of people." In other words genuine smiles lead to success. What more can I say, except that smiling is an important part of your attractiveness? No genuine smile and you'll be less successful. All cosmetic surgery can do is to alter the tools to smile with. Only you can produce a genuine smile.
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3.
By keeping your energy levels boosted.
Vitality is attractive. Energy, enthusiasm and a joy of life are contagious. When people are around those with energy they catch some of the effervescence, and feel better themselves. This makes an energetic woman far more attractive and desirable than a woman who is tired and worn out, no matter how much cosmetic surgery she has had. Sadly, many women lack energy, and accept that low energy levels are normal, especially as they get older. Not so! Energy can be maintained and boosted. There are a whole host of different factors that help keep energy strong, as covered in the Energy for living CDs. (See page 67 for more details.) Here are 10 key ways to help keep your energy levels high. Getting regular sleep of good quality and sufficient length. Getting rid of negative energy. Negativity, hurt, anger, resentment, hatred and bitterness can eat your energy away. Learning how to use and move your body well. Eating a low fat, healthy diet. (No, that doesn't mean chocolate, coke, cheese-burgers, ice-cream or French fries! All these types of foods can zap your energy and give you that tired, worn-out, gluggy body look.) Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people, not energy suckers who drain you. Regularly exercising. Developing a positive mind. Drinking plenty of water. Having regular health checks to ensure your iron levels are adequate, your thyroid is functioning well, and so on. Monitoring what affects your energy level. Each of us is different.
You may be perfectly manicured, have a flawless skin and the perfect breasts, (if there is such a thing), but without energy this is all wasted. However, with energy and a genuine smile these aspects aren't so important. If you dont believe vitality is attractive then start to notice what is attractive in other people. Do they have energy or not?
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4.
By routinely having top quality sleep.
Sleep restores and replenishes our beauty. Without sleep the bags under our eyes may grow bigger. With too little sleep our skin becomes pale and dull. Without sufficient sleep we may become lethargic, restless and listless. Getting plenty of good sleep recharges our bodies and minds. It helps our skin to have life in it, and our eyes to sparkle. Routinely have top quality sleep and look good. Here are 7 practical tips to help you have a good night's sleep. 1. 2. 3. Keep regular hours. Go to bed and get up at the same time each day. Sleep in a dark room with good thick window treatments to keep moonlight, street lights or security lights out of your eyes. Use ear-plugs to help cut out the sound of external noises, whether it's your partner snoring, traffic noises or the local cats fighting, (unless you need to hear your baby crying). 4. Keep a log book by the bed, so if you wake in the night with your mind going over and over things, you can write down your thoughts in your book and go back to sleep. In this way your mind doesn't have to keep going over them, they'll still be there when you wake up in the morning. 5. 6. Reduce caffeine and alcohol in the evening. Both can stay in your system for many hours and keep you awake. Go from bright light to dark in one go. Instead of sitting in dim evening light and then going to bed in the dark, sit in bright light and then go into dark. In this way, your body gains a much clearer signal that it's time to sleep. 7. If you're awake often in the night, e.g. because of a baby or young children, or hot flushes, cat naps during the day can help you keep your energy up. In sleep research cat naps have been found to be valuable. (Getting baby sitters regularly to give you a break can also be helpful so you get some rest.) I went through a bad period of sleeplessness at one stage in my life, and wrote about how I cured myself of it in the book, "Midlife and happiness". (See page 69 for more details). There is also a CD set "Happy not hassled", (see page 63 for more details), that can help you get to sleep at night. It has some easy to do and relaxing meditations on it that people use to sleep better.
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5.
By monitoring your food intake.
The food you eat can influence how good you look. Different foods impact on your health, your skin colour, your skin texture, and your energy levels. In fact, the old adage, "You are what you eat" certainly applies to looking good. Eat stodge and look stodgy. What foods and drinks make you feel good? What foods make you low in energy or lethargic? What food helps to give you energy? Monitor what you eat and eat for energy and vitality. Vitality will help you feel good. And vitality is attractive. Also monitor how much you eat. Do you ever eat too much and feel bloated or queasy? Queasiness seldom helps a woman feel or appear attractive, does it? Some of us eat when we are not hungry. Instead, we eat to control our moods. On my fridge is a sign HALT. HALT makes me ask, "Why am I eating?" Is it because I am hungry, angry, lonely or tired? I've learnt that if it's the latter three it's best I do not eat because overeating doesn't leave me feeling or looking good. Does it you? It's the same with the fluids you drink. Does coffee leave you feeling energised and calm, (feelings of calm can be good for the skin) or dehydrated and brittle? Does green tea, peppermint tea or English breakfast tea leave you feeling stronger or hyperactive and drained? How does water, lemonade or diet coke affect you? Monitor what you drink. Then drink all the liquids that leave you feeling healthy and good, and your skin clear.
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6.
By drinking lots of water.
Water is needed to keep our skin vital and looking alive, to keep our brains active, and to keep all our internal organs functioning well. It is also vital to keep us energised. Thus, drink plenty of water. If you're not sure how much water to drink, an Ear, Nose and Throat surgeon I used to work with always told his patients to make sure they drank enough water to "pee pale". In other words, if your urine is yellow, you may need to drink more water. When you are well hydrated the sense of vitality in your skin influences whether you look good or not. A skin with a sense of freshness is attractive whatever your age. I know women in their 70s who have looked after themselves who still have life flowing through their skin. I know from my own personal experience that drinking water helps to stop me from experiencing fatigue. It helps to keep my skin alive. It refreshes me. I'm more attractive when I'm refreshed and clear than when I am dull and washed out. I drink water to feel good and look good. You can do the same, without cosmetic surgery. What you put into your body matters and water is good for you.
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7.
By taking care of your eyes.
Eyes are a key component in looking good, especially when they sparkle. As evidence of this, for instance, I went to a party recently and another woman came up to me and said, "What are you on?". "I'm sorry," I said, "What do you mean?". "Well, you've got such blue, sparkly, clear eyes, I want to know what you're on." A bit surprised, I said simply, "Oh meditation and mung beans!" She was happy with the answer, and we both laughed. What interests me is that my eyes could produce such a reaction from a stranger. I am blessed with nice eyes but it's what I do, and don't do, that makes them sparkle. And its the sparkle that makes them look good. What do I do to make my eyes sparkle? Have I put blue contact lenses in? Have I got permanent mascara on my eyelashes? Have I plucked my eyebrows, worn artificial eyelashes or added eye drops? No, none of that. In fact, I don't even know how long my eyelashes are. The sparkle comes from inside from a love of life, from meditating to produce a clear mind, from drinking enough water, from dealing with (rather than hanging on to) my emotional issues, and from gratitude for what I have. Do your eyes sparkle? You'll look good if they do. Sparkling eyes will increase your attractiveness greatly; and all without cosmetic surgery.
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8.
By not sitting out in the sun for hours.
Sun is a skin wrinkler. It's an odd thing that many of us have been brought up to believe that in order to look attractive, "white" skinned people should have a tan. How ridiculous is that? Why is it ridiculous? Because the very thing we are trying to do, which is to get a tan to "look good", is actually harming our skin. We go to such lengths to do this, we'll be on a beach all day, or go to an artificial tanning salon, and run the risk of developing significant and even deadly health problems, such as melanoma. Sitting or lying in the sun to get a tan also causes the very thing you probably dread wrinkles. The skin gets dried out in the sun. If you look at a group of Australian women who have lived in Australia all their lives you may notice how "leathery" their skin is. If you look at women the same age who have been brought up in England, but migrated here later, their skin may be far smoother. The difference is caused by exposure to the sun. Some sun is essential for health, for vitamin D and calcium absorption, and for a positive mood. However, too much is dangerous to your looks. Having skin cancers removed is not what you're wanting, is it? Lots of leathery wrinkles isn't what you want either, is it? Dont fry your face, and you'll look better, especially as you get older. The ultimate irony to me is that some of the women who put their money, time and effort into getting a "browner skin", can also be racially prejudiced against women with a "dark" skin. Is this not sheer madness?
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9.
By not smoking.
Smoking, like sunshine, also dries out the skin. Smoking also wrinkles the skin. Smoking makes the skin look like leather. So don't smoke. Worse still it can rot your lungs, make you cough and make you smell. Coughing isn't sexy. Smelling like an ashtray isn't sexy. Smoking is not attractive. You can look good without a cigarette.
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10.
By lowering your stress levels.
Stress causes worry lines. It causes the mouth and lips to tighten. It hardens the face. Stress also reduces the effectiveness of your immune system so you are more likely to get sick. People don't look pretty when they are sick. If you lower your stress levels you'll increase your attractiveness and look much better than when you're stressed. Cosmetic procedures may reduce or heighten stress. There's the money to worry about. There's the anxiety about how you will look afterwards. There's the uncertainty about the pain or discomfort. Cosmetic surgery in itself can be stressful. Wendy Campbell, from the Glastonbury Company, explains how ditching stress has helped her look good. "The single action that has brought streams of comments such as, "Have you lost weight?", "Has something good happened for you?", or "How do you look so young?" is a conscious letting go of all the people, tasks and things which cause me stress and angst. I make sure that the letting go is based on my positive learning from the experience and a sincere gratitude for this. Given that so many of these positive comments have been coming my way, I'm not considering cosmetic surgery!" Stress isn't pretty. Relaxation is. If you want to look good, reduce your stress and tension and ditch the worried looks you are carrying around.
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11.
By practising meditation.
Meditation smooths out worry lines and replaces them with a look of peace and calm. Guess what looks beautiful? Serenity does. It doesn't matter how old the person is serenity is always attractive, in both men and women. I have meditated for years and in the process have seen many meditation teachers. The one thing they all have in common is that they look much younger than you'd expect for their physical age. I've heard people in the meditation group gasp with astonishment as we've been told how old a particular teacher is. Invariably we'll have thought the teacher was at least 10 years younger than he or she really is. Why does meditation help? It helps because you learn to put down or let go of all your negative judgements, your worries, your regrets, your anxieties, your guilt and your resentments. In turn, it trains you to replace them with peace and happiness in each moment. It's actually training you in what you are looking for happiness. Now, of course, you may complain that it's not fast enough and cosmetic surgery will get you results much faster. But it's not as simple as that because you get much more with meditation. You learn a whole new way of being in the world. A way to remain calm and peaceful even when things go wrong or are chaotic around you. A way to handle other people who are potentially difficult or irritating, so that you don't get angry or resentful back. A way to stop anxiety, to let go of hurt from the past, or to stop worrying about the future. Cosmetic surgery doesnt do this. In fact it can do the opposite it may lead you to more worry. For example, you might begin thinking, "How will I pay for my next operation?" Or you may start to worry if a new wrinkle appears. Even dyeing your hair can lead to more worry because you become concerned and ever watchful about new grey hairs, whether your roots are showing, or how soon you need to go back to the hairdresser. Meditate, or do some form of serene training for your mind and body to bring out your natural serenity and beauty. And more good news about meditation it need not cost you a cent it can be free. Also, there's no hospitalisation, no medical procedures, and no pain. (Except possibly a numb bum from sitting still too long!) Meditation can also leave you with a positive aura or presence. A positive presence attracts people to you. Cosmetic surgery is a technical procedure; the personal presence still needs to be developed.
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There are details of how to meditate here: http://www.rachelgreen.com/meditation.html There is also a CD set "Happy not hassled", (see page 63 for more details), with 4 easy-tofollow meditations on it for you to relax with and bring peace and calm to your mind.
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12.
By practising loving-kindness meditation.
There's one specific meditation that I particularly think makes people's skin look clear and their eyes sparkle, and it's a loving-kindness meditation. Practise it every day for three months and I guarantee you'll notice improvements. It's especially useful to overcome the resentments, angers and frustrations that wrinkle up your skin. Here's how to do loving-kindness meditation. 1. Sit quietly and comfortably. Breath naturally. Keep focusing on your breathing for a while. Peacefully breathing in. Peacefully breathing out. 2. Think of a time when you have felt caring, kind or loving towards someone or something; or you've glowed with contentment. It may simply be the serene look on someones face, holding your baby, the feeling of the soft fur as you stroke a kitten. Whenever you have felt the warmth of kindness, love or compassion, re-live that feeling now. 3. Keeping this feeling, allow your attention to rest on the area in the middle of your chest and around your heart, and allow the feeling to develop. 4. As the feeling of loving-kindness develops send this feeling of caring, goodwill and warmth to yourself. Send this feeling through your whole body and mind. Let it wash over you and through you. Wish yourself well, silently and gently repeating to yourself: "May I be well." "May I be happy." "May I abide in peace." See / feel yourself happy and smiling. 5. Bring to your mind someone you look up to and admire, i.e. someone with integrity, wisdom and compassion; someone you respect, like and think highly of; someone that it is easy for you to send love or kindness to. Send them this warmth, goodwill and caring. Let it flow from you to them, and say to yourself as you think of them: "May you be well." "May you be happy." "May you abide in peace." See / feel this person happy and smiling.
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6.
Do this with someone else who is a dear friend, someone that you like and respect but arent necessarily sexually attracted to.
7. 8. 9. 10.
Do this with someone you barely know, that you neither like nor dislike. Do this with someone who has irritated or upset you. Do this with the people you are going to meet tomorrow. Send the warmth, goodwill and kindness to people around you to everyone in your workplace, suburb, city, and the nation. And, as you think of them say to yourself: "May you all be well." "May you all be happy." "May you all abide in peace." See / feel them all happy and smiling.
11.
Bring your attention back to yourself, so the feeling fills your whole being and say to yourself: "May I be well." "May I be happy." "May I abide in peace."
12.
Settle your attention once again on your breath: peacefully breathing in, peacefully breathing out, at peace with yourself and the world.
If at any stage you find your mind wandering on to other things just gently and kindly bring it back to the person you were sending kindness to. If at any time you find the sense of kindness and love fades then return to your original image, or to an earlier person to whom you found it easy to send loving-kindness, and give the feeling a recharge. There is a recording of this loving kindness meditation on the 2 CD set "Happy not hassled", (see page 63 for more details). I personally talk you through each step on the way, so all you have to do is sit there and relax. It may take quite a while, weeks or months even, to be able to consistently get and maintain the feeling. Stick with it. Your skin, and eyes and looks will improve as a consequence. Even more importantly you will portray an attitude that is attractive. You will also find the world a much nicer place.
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13.
By practising Tai Chi for a beautiful mind and body.
Tai Chi is a beautiful way to calm and integrate the mind and body; and to develop flexibility in both. Flexible, graceful bodies are attractive. There has been some research done in Australia recently on the effects of a three month programme of Tai Chi and Qigong on diabetes in women. They were found to have many positive effects and in some cases the diabetes was halved. In addition to improvements in their blood sugar levels, participants also reported weight loss, better sleeping patterns and higher energy levels. What fascinated me, as I was listening to two of the women who'd been in the programme, was that both commented on the increase in energy they had obtained as a consequence of the programme. Energy is attractive. Cosmetic surgery doesn't give it to you. The other comment that struck me was that one woman, Judy, specifically described the changes the programme had made to her face. She said before entering the programme that her skin had been dull. Since completing the programme she said it now glowed. Tai Chi may give you more than cosmetic surgery. It may give you a health boost, a beautiful freshness to your skin as well as improving your appearance. It's also a lot cheaper! (See page 64 for more details of the article.)
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14.
By developing an attractive, graceful body through Feldenkrais.
A supple body that moves with grace and ease can be very eye-catching and attractive. I remember walking down the road in Melbourne one day following a woman in her seventies. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She moved with such utter grace, she was like a gazelle. Each movement she made flowed through her so smoothly that she almost floated through the air. I was star-struck. I wanted to be that beautiful now even though I was much younger. Who was this woman? Was it a model off the cat-walk? A woman who'd got her own pet cosmetic surgeon to keep her cheeks pumped up and her chins at bay? No, she was Ruthy Alon, a Feldenkrais practitioner from Israel. Feldenkrais is a method of body awareness and education that can help you to move with less effort and greater ease. Easy moving, flowing, flexible bodies are attractive. I've been doing Feldenkrais for years and I can honestly say that I move now with far greater ease and flexibility than I ever did in my thirties. I didn't get flexibility from cosmetic surgery. Cosmetic surgery may trim up your body and give it a different shape, but it doesn't teach you how to move well. Feldenkrais does that. Move well and feel good. Feel good and you'll look good. There are details on the Feldenkrais Method in the resources section (see page 62), and on http://www.rachelgreen.com/feldenkrais.html.
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15.
By focusing your perspective on your good angle.
Here is another picture of a nose that I showed at the conference I mentioned earlier. It's quite a large one. It's not particularly attractive from this angle, is it? How would you describe it?
The descriptions this one got at the conference were: Curved Intrusive Thoughtful Jewish Roman Impressive
Now have a look at this nose.
This is more attractive, isn't it? It's nowhere near as noticeable as the nose in the picture at the top of the page. There is nothing particular to say about it really. Except that it is the same nose from a different angle a different perspective.
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One way to look good is to change your perspective. If this was your nose and you didn't like it, look at it from a different angle. Check out the angles. Stop noticing the bit of the hump, seeing how large it is, and how it "ruins" your profile. This will only make you miserable and think that you don't look good, when you do, from a new angle. Instead of looking at yourself from the worst perspective, focus on yourself in the best light and from the best angle. The same feature from a different angle can look good. Focus on the angle that looks good not on the one that doesn't.
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16.
By celebrating every year you have and spreading joy that is attractive.
I have a friend at the moment who is dying of cancer. She has two children that she will be leaving behind without a mother. She is torn by guilt and a sense of failure that she is doing this to her children. She has done everything that any human possibly can to keep herself alive. She has meditated, she has rested, she has been nurtured and loved, she has eaten healthy food, she has had chemotherapy, she has had radiotherapy, she has had surgery, prayers have been said for her, she has cried, she has laughed, she has done everything. Right now she would give anything to reach her 50th birthday. And, the thought of being 55 would send her into raptures. She only has months left to live. What, under these circumstances, would she do if she had a wrinkle? Or a grey hair? Well all her hair has fallen out with chemotherapy so a grey hair would be a wonderful sign that her hair is regrowing. And a wrinkle? What joy, it would mean she'd got older. And that's what she wants to do to be able to live longer, and to live longer means to get older. Living longer is a gift of life. It is a gift to celebrate not to hide. Why be ashamed of it? Why be embarrassed by it? Why try and pretend it's not happening? How wonderful to have a life. Celebrate every year you are blessed with whatever your age. Sing. Dance. Shout it from the roof-tops. Dress up. Party. Be joyous. Be thankful. One of my friends sent me a list of sayings today, and this one struck me as being a good reason to celebrate. "Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live." People who celebrate are more likely to be attractive than those who simply whinge about getting older. Celebration spreads and shares joy and happiness with, and to, other people. That's attractive.
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17.
By keeping your hair its natural colour.
I was walking behind someone getting off the train the other day and admiring her hair. It was blond, straight and shiny and well shaped in a modern style. I was subconsciously imagining a woman in her late 20s or early 30s. When she reached the outside of the station she turned round and I was taken aback to see a tired and wrinkled face staring out from under the blond fringe. Rather than the hair making her attractive it actually made her facial features more stark and noticeable. The two did not go well together. In contrast, I have a friend in her 60s who looks gorgeous and has a youthful face full of light, love and laughter. She is very popular, enjoys life and looks good. And her hair is white. Sometimes when you keep your hair its natural colour, it can look better than having it dyed. Why? Because it blends in with your skin tones. Have a trendy cut and your own colour. If you do dye it, don't choose a colour that is so dark it contrasts vividly with your skin and makes you look even older. Make sure you look good from both the front and the back.
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18.
By wearing the best colours.
I used to wear whatever clothes I fancied and yet I'd often go to the wardrobe, sift through it and declare I had nothing to wear. I'd put item after item against myself, standing in front of the mirror, and dismiss each one because it didn't feel right. Then I went to an "Image" consultant (called Margaret Fort) and she encouraged me to ditch a significant part of my wardrobe and replace it with a small number of items that were the right colour for me. What does the "right colour for me" mean? Well, firstly, it means that when I put that colour next to my skin, it gives me a lift, I feel good in it and it enhances my skin tone, my eyes and my looks. Secondly, it means that when people see me they say things like, "Wow, you look good". This is in contrast to saying, "Great dress" which can mean the dress looks good but I don't necessarily look good in it! I now know that there are certain colours that make me look tired, drained or dowdy, such as brown, orange, black or greeny-lemon. This means I can avoid them. Put some of these colours on me and I can look ill! In contrast, if I wear bright, clear reds, blues, turquoises and purples I can look good even when I'm tired. I received evidence of the value of my colours when I visited an important client. I turned up one day, feeling good at about 5.30pm, wearing my favourite jacket. Unfortunately, it happened to be a greeny-lemon colour. The executive assistant of my client looked up to greet me and said, "Has it been a long day for you Rachel, you look tired?" My heart sank! The next time I went, I was actually a little weary as I'd been training all day, but when she greeted me this time, she said, "Gosh you look well, have you had a good day?" What was I wearing? A bright, clear red jacket that made my skin sparkle. I needed no more convincing. Now I wear the right colours whenever I want to look good. I take both jackets to one of my seminars to demonstrate the difference, and sure enough, when I wear the greeny-yellow jacket people say things such as, "You look like you've got jaundice!" In case you remain cynical about the significance of the colours you wear, and think it's more important to wear whatever colour is in fashion, then you might be interested in a study that was reported in New Scientist magazine.
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In it, Mairi Macleod reported that sporting teams and individuals who wear red had been found to have an advantage over their opponents. Colours can not only make you look good; they can also contribute to your success. (See page 66 for full details of the article.)
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19.
By gently grooming your body.
Sometimes just the smallest and simplest steps of self-care can make the difference between your looking good or feeling down and daggy. Here are some of the simplest steps that you might take, that have been suggested by my newsletter readers. 1. Have an up-to-date hair cut. Ditch the old hairstyle you've had since being a teenager and get trendy. Bring your hair and make-up up-to-date. 2. Have a hair style that flatters your face (rather than it is the "in" style or the one you had 20 years ago). For example, if you have a long face you might suit shortish hair that gives your face more width rather than exaggerating the length. I know, for example, that the longer my hair gets, the longer my face looks. 3. Find a shampoo that's good for your hair so it looks healthy, soft and shiny. (I have just found some lovely olive oil shampoo that does this for mine.) However, having said that, much of hair health comes from your overall level of health, and not from a bottle, so keep your overall health high. 4. 5. Wash your hair regularly, so you don't go around with limp or greasy hair. Keep your finger nails clean and neat. They don't have to be long talons nor do you have to spend a fortune having your nails done. Manicured nails look better than ones chewed around the edges. 6. Wearing deodorant can make a difference it fascinates me that some people dont do this. I'm not keen on putting all those chemicals under my arm but I do know it is a put-off if I smell! 7. Clean your shoes! I know it sounds quite trite but you can look much better by simply putting polish on your scuff marks. 8. Wear a good bra. There are many different styles of bra, each one of which can flatter your breasts, or squash them and do nothing for your shape. I remember watching a television programme which described the different types of bras available. They used three women as their examples ranging from women with tiny breasts through to hefty breasts.
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I have to say I was so impressed with the ways that the different bras influenced the shape and look of each woman's breasts. The larger woman looked stunning in her bra and so did the lady with small breasts, who was rapt because her bra gave her a cleavage! Choose your bras well. Don't just select "any old bra" because it's "the right size". Get good advice from a bra specialist. It's a lot cheaper than cosmetic surgery, under your control and reversible.
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20.
By wearing clothes that flatter your body.
I'm sitting here with an image in my mind of a woman who squeezes herself into her clothes. So much so we see every bulge, wrinkle and anatomical feature. In her attempts to look good and stay young, she looks dreadful. I've been to a couple of image consultants to get advice on the styles of clothes that flatter my body the best. I've learnt an enormous amount. It isn't the kind of thing that is as instinctive as you might think. You only need to look at the rich and famous to see how many still wear clothes that don't work for them, they simply spend more money, they don't automatically look better. Here are four features to consider when choosing your style of clothes: 1. What is the best skirt length for you? Where your skirt stops highlights different parts of your legs; does it stop at the widest or slimmest part of your calves, for instance? If it's at the widest part it may make your legs look fatter than you want. 2. What is the best jacket length for you? For instance, does a short jacket that stops at your waist or just below your waist flatter you, or is a longer jacket better? Check how your jacket length alters the proportions of your body so that your body looks balanced and elegant. 3. What is the best collar line for you? For example, do you look best in an angled neckline or a curved one? Are necklines that go straight across in a flat line or in a curved one more flattering for you? 4. Choose fabrics that don't wrinkle easily and sit well on your body.
When you wear clothes that flatter your body, you can look good, no matter what your body shape or type. When you wear clothes that distort the balance of your body parts, then you can look far worse. Dress your body to look in balance.
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21.
By enjoying a good sex life.
Good sex boosts energy. Good sex clears out stress from the body. Good sex can help you sleep well. I probably need to say little else! Amina, one of my newsletter readers, sent me this e-mail summing it up perfectly: "I've found that the best way to keep your skin youthful is buttox! Plenty of sex works wonders".
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22.
By ditching anger, bitterness and negativity.
Did your mother ever tell you, when you were growing up, that if you pulled a face, you'd stay that way? She was right! If you are angry or have a negative attitude to life it shows in your face. If you are happy and light of spirit that shows in your face too. A look of negativity and anger is not attractive. It doesn't matter how many beauty creams you apply or how much cosmetic surgery you have, if you sit and sulk all day, or you get irritated frequently, or you worry a lot, it will show on your face. I commute on a train quite often. An unhappier collection of faces I have yet to see. In the mornings people look dispirited, vague, tired, bored and morose. In the evenings they look hassled, frustrated, tired, exhausted or fed-up. What chance do they have to look beautiful? I'm sure cosmetic surgery would make no difference. It's their attitude that needs fixing. They could radiate beauty simply by switching their mood and ditching the negativity. For example, I recently went to a public meeting and noticed an exceptionally well-groomed woman enter the room. Her hair was perfectly designed, her make-up was well applied, and she had lovely jewellery and an expensive outfit. The whole way through the meeting however, she interjected, questioned and complained. I never once saw her smile. She never once engaged the other people. She simply breathed out resentment. In the end the resentment destroyed any sense of attractiveness she had. All the money she had spent on her clothes, make-up, hair and jewellery were totally wasted. It was simple. She looked sour. Sour is not a good look, no matter what else you do. Ditch the negative emotions to look good.
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23.
By laughing a lot.
Laugh a lot and your looks won't matter. Laugh a lot and you'll enjoy life anyway. Laughter produces lines on your face. But they are lines of character, of delight, of a life well lived. Laughter also boosts your immune system and helps you stay healthy. Better still, laughter is infectious. It is a wonderful gift to share with people. Help others laugh too and you'll attract people into your life. You'll never be short of friends and love when you laugh and share it generously with others. Having a sense of humour can be highly attractive. People flock to those who make them laugh. So much so, comedians earn money simply from doing that, making people laugh. The comedians don't need to look good to attract people to them. I don't think anyone would say Adam Hills, (Australian comedian), or Judith Lucy, (Australian comedienne), are exceptionally good looking but they certainly attract the crowds. Some people who've had cosmetic surgery become too scared to laugh. They are scared that they'll get wrinkles, or won't look so good. Have we gone haywire? Laughter is one of the greatest joys of the world. If something you do makes you too scared to laugh then something is seriously wrong. Laugh a lot and you'll look good and be attractive without having to do much else.
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24.
By being kind and generous.
When you are kind to others your heart and soul can leap into life and give your attractiveness a big boost. People are attracted to kind and generous people. Practise doing a minimum of one kind thing for someone every day and you'll be adding drops of beauty into your soul. Being kind, generous and compassionate can also help you feel good about yourself and boost your self-esteem. You'll look good as a consequence and the smile on your face will be noticeable.
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25.
By doing voluntary work with people who are less well off than you are.
In the past I've worked for five years as a voluntary counsellor on a telephone crisis line for suicidal people. What I found was that taking phone calls from people who've been traumatised in their lives; who are living in emotional pain; who've been abused; who've been abandoned, raped or bashed; or who're suffering from schizophrenia makes my life and my looks appear wonderful in comparison. When we worry about a line on our face, or the size of our breasts, our lives are out of perspective. Helping the poor, under-privileged or sick can soon help put everything back into perspective. There are children dying because they don't have clean water to drink. Is our breast or eyelid size really more important? As women, can't we all be mothers of the world's children and place a higher value on helping them? I remember walking away one night after being on the crisis line, so pleased to be who I was, big nose, grey hair and all. I'd spoken to so many traumatised people I realised my worries were tiny. Even now, if I have problems, I can put them back into perspective by just realising that I am so much better off than all the people whose lives have been devastated by the earthquake in Pakistan, the tsunami in Aceh, the hurricane in New Orleans, the drought in the Sudan, or by the slaughtering of children in Uganda. How lucky I am. When you see something about your body you don't like, just ask yourself, "Would I rather have this body or to live in Iraq and face the possibility of being blown up every day?" Share your world with those who are less well off than you and your heart will sing from the joy you can bring. Now that's attractive.
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26.
By choosing make-up and hair products that highlight your looks.
Women have used make-up for centuries. In fact, according to Wikipedia, the first archaeological evidence of cosmetics usage is found in Egypt from around 3500 BC. Make-up can certainly enhance a woman's features. However, it isn't necessarily essential. Nor is it needed constantly. I know one absolutely beautiful woman in her forties who is simply gorgeous. She is distraught at the idea of having her photograph taken without make-up. Yet she is so beautiful with or without make-up. She also has hair that is perfect but thinks it would be better if it were straight. Her issue is not that she needs make-up; her issue is she needs to boost her self-esteem. There are whole books written on make-up, so there is no point in my repeating them. Instead, I simply want to stimulate your thinking about the make-up you do or do not need. I also want to challenge you to think about when you need to wear it. Here are some simple make-up comments and tips. 1. Wear make-up to give yourself an extra highlight but don't believe you can't look good without it. 2. Have make-up free times and see if you can feel good without it don't be dependent on it. Give your skin and eyes a rest, and regularly. 3. Use make-up to highlight your features, not to cake your face. I'm referring here to the way some women wear make-up that is so heavy that it's hard to actually see their eyes, lips or face. Keep the make-up light enough so we notice you and your features, not your make-up. I don't want to only notice your mass of red lipstick or thick layers of black eye liner; I want to notice how good you look. Use make-up to highlight your looks not cover them. 4. The question is what make-up enhances your looks? There is no single answer and a lot of it comes down to personal preference. My main suggestion is that you don't believe everything you read in the magazines. 5. Also, don't buy or try everything they tell you to in the magazines you don't need so much. They are trying to make money by appealing to your insecurities. I read a list of items mentioned in just one magazine the other day; it listed at least nine different
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types of products, just for your hair. They included shampoo, conditioner, hairspray, heat protective spray, shine spray, volumising mousse, frizz tamer, split-end mender, and more. The list of eye make-up was equally long. It included eyebrow forming gel, false eyelashes, cake eyeliner, liquid eyeliner, eyeliner sealer, mascara, eye shadows and more. You don't need all this to look good. Women were still able to look good before most of this was ever invented. 6. If you have a special occasion, say your wedding, your 21st, your 40th, your retirement party, or some other important event, then of course I'd expect you to take the time to look gorgeous with make-up. It's the other times I question. Do you really need it every day, or every time you go out? Can you feel confident both with and without it? 7. There are professional make-up artists who can help you look truly glamorous and who can teach you about make-up. It may be worth investing in a session with them to learn the best ways for you to use make-up. In a session I went to I got some tips on how to use eye shadow well and the best shadow colours for me to use. It opened my eyes, so to speak! They also taught me how to choose the right colour of foundation for my skin tonings, how to choose the best colour blusher for me, how to apply lipstick, and much more. It helped boost my self-confidence to know I was using make-up well, when, or if, I needed it. If I have a photographic shoot for work, I always use a professional make-up artist. If you use make-up, use it well.
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27.
By taking a lesson from other cultures.
Not all cultures respond to ageing in the same way. For example, I've noticed the people of Thailand respect the elderly. So much so, a person I know who lives in Thailand, fabricates his age he says he is older than he really is so he can gain respect even more. It's not a "truth" that looking older is bad. It's just some stupid idea that our culture has dreamt up. One of my friends said to me once, "Do you know that if the fashion gurus decided that grey hair was trendy everyone would be dyeing their hair grey?" Another one commented, "If kids were born with grey hair and then it turned brown, we'd be dyeing our hair grey." All the talk about age and hair colour and skin texture is not a "truth". It's something our society has concocted. Challenge the myths put out in the media, don't just believe or follow them. If you stop and ask yourself "What is really so awful about looking older?" you might find there's nothing much in it. I understand you may not want dementia or crippling arthritis but the desire to keep looking as you did 5, 10 or 15 years ago is a waste of your life. Challenge our society's preoccupation with all things youthful. Instead let's learn from some of the other societies that have more wisdom and more acceptance for how life is. It's much easier to accept ageing than to fight against it.
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28.
By following time tested beauty tips.
The following verse is by Sam Levenson (American author and humourist 1911-1980). The words provide a lovely reminder of what true beauty is. For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed, and redeemed, and redeemed, never throw out anybody. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, and other for helpings others.
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29.
By being your beautiful self.
In conclusion, you are already beautiful. The issue is not in your looks. The issue is not in your weight, height or shape. The issue is in your own attitude towards yourself. The problem is that when you have a low self-esteem you can't see your own beauty, even if it is there staring you in the face. The difficulty is that you don't realise what incredible potential you have, inside you, to develop a beauty and attractiveness that will bowl people over. Your task is not to take up cosmetic surgery imagining it's going to be the cure-all for your lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. Your job is to develop and strengthen your self-esteem from the inside out. The tips in this book can help raise your self-esteem. Your feelings are more likely to be positive towards yourself when you have energy, sparkling eyes and a glowing skin. Be admired not for a winkle-free skin, or for fat-free eyelids but because you have a love of life, a kind generous heart and a joy of living that touches every person that you meet. That is the true source of beauty. You can be beautiful today without cosmetic surgery.
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SECTION THREE: Further resources
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Cosmetic surgery facts.
Here are the articles on cosmetic surgery mentioned in the book: "Quick Facts." CosmeticSurgery.com http://www.cosmeticsurgery.com//quick_facts "Plastic surgery procedures maintain steady growth in 2007 - Cosmetic plastic surgery spending increases 9 percent to $12.4 billion". 25 March 2008. American Society of Plastic Surgeons. http://www.plasticsurgery.org/Media/Press_Releases/Plastic_Surgery_Procedures_Maintain_ Steady_Growth_in_2007.html "Women in the workforce link cosmetic surgery to success." 11th February 2009. American Society of Plastic Surgeons. http://www.plasticsurgery.org/Media/Press_Releases/Women_in_the_Workforce_Link_Cosm etic_Surgery_to_Success.html "Cosmetic surgery statistics for the U.K." Peter Jameson. June 3, 2007. http://www.hiltonheadmedctr.com/Articles/Cosmetic-Surgery-Statistic.html "40 per cent of Australian women wear a bra with a cup size DD or bigger." Elle Halliwell. 5th April 2009. The Sunday Telegraph http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25290859-36398,00.html
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Happiness ideas.
The authentic happiness website is a key website in positive psychology. You can complete free tests to assess your character strengths and learn more about happiness and where it comes from. http://www.authentichappiness.org "Expressions of positive emotion in women's college yearbook pictures and their relationship to personality and life outcomes across adulthood." LeeAnne Harker and Dacher Keltner, Journal of personality and social psychology, 80 (i) Jan 2001. pages: 112-124. This is the article that showed how a genuine smile contributed to success. "Authentic Happiness: Using the new positive psychology to realise your potential for lasting fulfilment." Martin Seligman. Random House Publishers, Sydney 2002. ISBN 1-74051-108-5. This book has lots of information on research into happiness, how important it is and how to get it. It's for every day people, rather than being an academic book. "Thanks: How the new science of gratitude can make you happier". Robert A. Emmons. Houghton Mifflin Company, New York. 2007. A whole book on the science and art of developing an attitude of gratitude, and an explanation of the positive results you'll gain from doing this.
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The Feldenkrais Method.
There are many places where you can get more information on Feldenkrais. If you go to the links section of http://www.rachelgreen.com you'll find a whole list of Feldenkrais websites from around the world. Here is some of the key ones: RachelGreen.Com http://www.rachelgreen.com/feldenkrais.html This describes what the Feldenkrais Method is, with easy-to-understand language and photographs. Australian Feldenkrais Guild http://www.feldenkrais.org.au Ruthy Alon, Bones for Life http://www.bonesforlife.com This is the site of the woman I saw walking down the street in Melbourne. United Kingdom Feldenkrais http://www.feldenkrais.co.uk New Zealand Feldenkrais Guild http://www.feldenkrais.org.nz North American Feldenkrais Guild http://www.feldenkrais.com
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How to meditate.
There are many different forms of meditation and many different teachers. So much so it seems impossible to even start to list the relevant sources for you. However, here are just a few. There are simple instructions on how to meditate here: http://www.rachelgreen.com/meditation.html Buddhist Society of WA in Western Australia http://www.bswa.org Sydney Meditation Centre http://www.sydneymeditationcentre.com There are other links on http://rachelgreen.com/cgi-bin/a.pl?links. "Happy not hassled - Using meditation to manage your emotions and find contentment". This is a 2 CD set of easy-to-follow meditations: Have you ever felt stressed, anxious or tense and wanted to relax? Or maybe you keep going over and over things in your mind and all you want is peace and calm? Maybe sleeplessness is eating away at your energy and good looks. Yes! Then, "Happy not hassled" can help you relax and let go of worry, anxiety and tension so that you can develop more relaxation and look good. You may even find yourself sleeping better at night. Beauty sleep, bliss! PLUS, when you buy these CDs you receive COMPLETELY FREE a DVD of my giving a public talk on "Using meditation to manage anxiety and pain". Click here to order now. Or purchase on http://confident-woman.com.au
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Tai Chi.
Tai Chi is practised around the world. Put in a Google search or check your local paper or phone directory for the nearest Tai Chi course to you. This is the website of the International Taoist Tai Chi Society. This is only one of several forms of Tai Chi teaching. It has links to Tai Chi Societies around the world. http://www.taoist.org/english/ "Tai Chi a promising remedy for diabetes." Tuesday, 20 December 2005. Reporter: Melanie Christiansen http://www.abc.net.au/pm/content/2005/s1535304.htm This contains full details of the interview about the study into Tai Chi, Qigong and Diabetes.
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How to sleep better.
There are many resources to help you sleep better in addition to the above meditation CD. Beauty sleep matters. Here is a sample of relevant websites to show you what's available. 33 Secrets to a Good Night's Sleep http://www.mercola.com/article/sleep.htm A list of tips on getting good quality sleep without medication Sleep Better without Drugs http://www.sleepbetter.com.au An Australian self-help programme of 3 tapes and a book, which claims an 83% success rate in overcoming sleep disorders. I haven't tried it - let us know the results you get if you do. Sleep Disorders Guide http://www.sleepdisordersguide.com/index.php A comprehensive guide about sleep disorders. It includes descriptions, symptoms, causes, treatments of various sleep disorders such as sleep apnoea, insomnia, snoring, restless legs, narcolepsy, and more. Please note, I am not necessarily supporting the products they advertise on this site - it is included as it has some useful information. Sleep Net http://www.sleepnet.com/links.htm Take tests to find out how well you are sleeping, read information on sleep and sleep problems, and explore the many links to other sleep sites. Sound Sleeping http://www.soundsleeping.org An Australian website full of information on all kinds of sleeping disorders.
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How to present yourself well.
There are so many image and style consultants available across the world, I am just mentioning one I trust so you can at least see her website and what is involved. A tip: check the consultant looks good. If they don't, try someone else. Margaret Fort, Image Update. http://www.imageupdate.com.au "Red is the colour if winning is your game", Mairi Macleod. New Scientist Magazine, 18th May 2006, page 16. This is the article described in the book on the value of wearing red. "Presenting yourself: A personal image guide for women", by Mary Spillane. Piatkus Publishers, London, 1994. (Copies still available on Amazon.) There are lots of books in this area. This is a useful example, even though it could be considered "old". "Body Language. How to make the most of your personal assets by reading and using the body's secret signals", by Susan Quilliam. Carlton Books 1995. (Copies still available on Amazon.) There are so many body-language books, but this is one of my favourites because of the quality illustrations.
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How to have more energy.
There are additional free tips on how to have more energy here: http://www.rachelgreen.com/cgi-bin/a.pl?articles
"Energy for living - How to have abundant energy and feel fully alive". This is a 2 CD set I've produced that can help you gain an energy make-over so your energy flows each day. It is specifically for busy women who feel tired, run-down or depleted. You'll learn the key ways to get your energy flowing so you can feel fully alive and vibrant and maintain your energy throughout your busy day, every day. Discover what can make you tired and worn-out, and what can help you feel energised. Try the practical self-test and activities to become your own energy expert and have vitality that is attractive. Click here to order now. Or purchase here: http://www.confident-woman.com
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How to deal with teasing and putdowns.
There are free tips on how not to take things to heart here: http://www.rachelgreen.com/cgi-bin/a.pl?articles
"How to deal with difficult people without getting upset." When you get hurt by other people's negative comments or teasing it can lower your self-esteem and cause anxiety and stress and lead to further teasing. By learning to let it all wash over you, you can build your self-esteem and be immune to ridicule, negativity and put-downs. These 2 unique CDs "How to deal with difficult people without getting upset" will help you do this. Then your self-esteem will increase, your confidence soar and your inner beauty shine. Click here to order now. Or purchase here: http://www.confident-woman.com
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"Happiness over 40".
There are free tips on being happy over 40 here http://www.rachelgreen.com/midlife.html
"Midlife and Happiness" Let this book inspire you. It's full of motivating stories. Step inside the real lives of the seven men and seven women and find a rich gift to support you on your journey to energy, health and happiness over 40. There will be something here that will help and inspire you and that you can apply in your own life. For example, there is a chapter on how to overcome sleeplessness, another one on overcoming anxiety and ones for developing a spiritual life. "Midlife and Happiness" will provide you with a complete contrast to all those youth-is-all-that-is-good images you see on TV and show you just how good it can be to be over 40, 50, and 60. Click here to order now. Or purchase here: http://www.confident-woman.com
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A full list of materials, by Rachel Green, to help you build your confidence and selfesteem, gain new skills and be successful.
CD sets: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Confidence for women in social situations, and in each day, in every way. (2 CD set.) Confidence for women when speaking in public. (2 CD set.) Confidence and communication success for women at work. (2 CD set.) Happy not hassled: How to manage your emotions, meditate and find contentment. (2 CD set.) How to deal with difficult people WITHOUT GETTING UPSET. (2 CD set.) Energy for living: How to have abundant energy and feel fully alive for busy women who feel tired, run-down or depleted. (2 CD set.) How to be a winner at dinner: Chat and network with confidence and skill. (3 CD set and small booklet.) A successful marriage: How to have a long and happy marriage and overcome the problems, by Rachel and Michael Green. (2 CD set.) Printed Books: 1. Midlife and Happiness: How to be happy, overcome obstacles and follow your dreams over 40. E-Books: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. A master of ceremonies: The beginner's guide to being a brilliant MC. Media interviews with confidence. Stop a lack of confidence: Build confidence now. Public speaking with self-confidence. How to look good without cosmetic surgery. Be confident in job interviews: Win the job. Social anxiety cured with confidence!
Order now in our book and CD store and let your skills soar: http://www.confidentwoman.com.au or http://www.rachelgreen.com
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About the author, Rachel Green.

Rachel is the Founder of Confident Woman Australia. She's an award-winning communication specialist, a dynamic and much sought after professional speaker, an author and an emotional intelligence coach. Rachel has tertiary level qualifications in psychology, speech pathology, adult education and the Feldenkrais method. She is the author of the book "Midlife and Happiness" along with 9 CD sets including the popular "Confidence for women" CD series. She was an academic for ten years at Curtin University, a presentation trainer for the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Commission) for five years, and now heads her own training and speaking company. She's been in business for over 20 years. Her key clients include powerbrokers in the corporate world, top executives in the private, public and local government sectors, as well as lawyers, doctors, police officers, health professionals, sports stars, local government employees, media personalities, managers, call centre staff, customer service staff and many more. Described by journalist Amy Richardson, as a "Pint-sized dynamo" she is known for her energy and positive attitude to life. She has practised meditation since 1987 and run a free meditation group at Armadale Hospital in Western Australia. It was through her meditation practice that she developed a more accepting attitude towards all of life and her body. She saw that her meditation teachers, men and women of various shapes, ages and sizes, were attractive and inspiring. To be around such positive energy she found was an enormous gift and that's when she realised that serenity did not come from the skin but from within. When not working, she likes to spend time with the men in her life, (her much loved husband and two godchildren), laugh a lot, watch comedy videos, grow native Australian flowers, and work on the nature retreat she and her husband are developing. Then she sleeps!
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How to contact Rachel.
E-mail: rachel@rachelgreen.com Ph: +61 (8) 9390 1188. PO Box 344, KELMSCOTT, Western Australia, 6991, Australia. http://www.confident-woman.com.au http://www.rachelgreen.com

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How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Rachel Green.Com Pty Ltd

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

INTRODUCTION SECTION ONE: IS COSMETIC SURGERY NEEDED?

SECTION TWO: EASY WAYS TO LOOK GOOD WITHOUT COSMETIC SURGERY.

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

SECTION THREE: FURTHER RESOURCES

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Rachel Green.Com Pty Ltd

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

Rachel Green Perth, Western Australia June 2009.

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

SECTION ONE: Is cosmetic surgery needed?

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

Cosmetic surgery & attractiveness are they the same?

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

Quiz: Why do you want cosmetic surgery?

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

Twenty-one reasons not to have cosmetic surgery.

Here are the words people at the conference used:

Did your description match any of these words?

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

2009 Confident Woman Australia

How to look good without cosmetic surgery

SECTION TWO: Easy ways to look good without cosmetic surgery.