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March 27-April 2, 2013

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The Woodstock Independent

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Epsteins gabs about gossip provoke thought

Gossip is not just a popular activity between high school girls. In a Woodstock Fine Arts Association presentation at the Opera House March 21, Chicago-born author and essayist Joseph Epstein shared his thoughts on the ways in which gossip serves society and how it has morphed throughout time. He also shared excerpts from his book Gossip: The Untrivial Pursuit, which details the condeming and enjoyable aspects of gossiping. Gossip, Epstein said, is the most interesting of all subjects other people. He quoted a few different definitions of gossip including the idea that Gossip is confessing another persons sins, which received much laughter from the audience. He shared his own experiences with being on the receiving end of wagging tongues, mentioning the time he once worked for a certain company while attempting to learn Russian. He carried a Russian dictionary around on a regular basis, which stirred up rumors. Rhonda People started calling me a commuMix nist, he said. He went on to talk Mix about our mediaMessages based culture and how people love to gossip about themselves, especially on the Internet. This [phenomenon] was unprecedented, Epstein said. I also often Google myself, and this seems mildly obscene. He said he uncovered articles that referred to him with such labels as blowhard of the month, which he seemed to find amusing. Epstein believes gossip is an equal opportunity employer and no one is exempt. Though religions around the world frown upon the activity, I do agree with Epsteins opinion that most people, religious or not, engage in gossip in one form or another. Gossip can be mean and vicious, but it is a mixed bag, he said. It can also be witty, entertaining and charming. As T.S. Eliot once wrote, Every good letter should have something indiscreet. Epstein said he believes gossip has a certain aspect of intimacy to it, and, though it is rarely positive, it may bring useful information to the table. He also cited sociologists who believe gossip is one way to make and bind friendships together. Though Epstein said he loves gossip that exposes hypocrisy and vanities what he dubbed high-brow gossip he posed an interesting question: Is it better to be illusioned [about other people] in particular, ones heroes? The question, he said, is one for which he himself does not yet have an answer. Epstein also discussed changes related to the decorum of gossip and how the standard for revealing private information has radically shifted over time. I cant condemn gossip [but] recognize that too much gossip lowers the tone of society, he said, referencing the fact that it is no longer scandalous to talk openly about having affairs or being promiscuous, and people often [almost eagerly] reveal these things about themselves through memoirs, talk shows or social media.There used to be something called taste, but its not there anymore, Epstein continued. He neither condemned nor overly praised gossip but instead posed thought-provoking questions and ideas related to the subject. Ultimately, he said, he believes in studying the motives behind gossiping and weighing the truth of what is revealed. Though the lecture was lighthearted and poked fun at the fact that most people participate in gossip whether they want to admit it or not, his final comments about a seemingly much classier, lost society struck a sentimental chord with me. He spoke of a time when people (at least in public) appeared to have more dignity and kept incriminating, distasteful or hurtful information to themselves. He used his parents as examples of individuals who had perfected this art, though he himself had not. His stories of such classier times, though they may have been illusionary, made me pine for a society Ive never really experienced. One audience member asked Epstein if kindness had gone out of vogue, to which he replied, I dont think it has. The main thing in life is a good heart. While I enjoyed Epsteins lecture and found him a fantastic speaker, I believe its important for all of us to think about our own hearts to look inside ourselves and reflect on how and why we choose to engage in gossip. Most of us do it. But I wonder if there really is any honorable way to gossip. I tend to think not.

column

Rhonda Mix is a staff writer for The Woodstock Independent.

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