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The New Burbs Jason Williams

The New Burbs Jason Williams

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Published by Jason Williams
Intro to adult comedy.
Intro to adult comedy.

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Published by: Jason Williams on Apr 07, 2013
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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04/07/2013

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The New BurbsJason D. Williams
 
INT. DICKIE’S SPORTS INC. - FACTORY FLOOR - MORNINGANIMATED/STYLIZED OPENING CREDIT MONTAGECROSS-SECTION: Sports equipment factory (downstairs) pluscorporate offices (upstairs) plus adjacent car park.Cartoonish robots assuming human roles on the factory floor:flattening strips of leather by hand, operating a hydraulicpress, inserting felt padding into baseball gloves, doingquality checks, taking a coffee break. A robot supervisorberates a clumsy employee.A ROBOT PAGE carrying a baseball glove leaves the factoryfloor and gets into an elevator. On the ride up, he getscaught staring at a FEMALE ROBOT WORKER’s breasts.INT. UPSTAIRS OFFICES - CONTINUEDMONTAGE WINDS DOWNThe robot page exits the elevator and walks down the hall,then into an office. He hands the baseball glove to aMANAGER ROBOT who sports a tie and baseball cap.The manager robot puts on the glove, checks his watch, thenexits the building. He traverses the car park.END CREDITS/MONTAGEFADE INTO:EXT. OUTSIDE DICKIE’S SPORTS INC. - EARLY EVENINGJASON DELL, late 30s, sporting a tie and ball cap, glovetucked under his arm, approaches a futuristic-lookingvehicle in a corporate car park.He awkwardly inserts his two fingers into a slot(fingerprint scanner) in the car door. The car flashes red:denied. Jason grimaces like this is a familiar frustrationin his life.He impatiently thrusts his two fingers in and out of thelock slot a few times.
Schlick, schlick.
The car flashes red again and emits a quick high-pitchedwarning sound -- BLEEP BLOOP.(CONTINUED)
 
CONTINUED: 2.CAR VOICENo access. Stand back.JASONLet’s go girl, quit yer blushin’.A man in a business suit approaches the vehicle parkedbeside Jason’s. He smoothly inserts his two fingers into thedoor, unlocking the vehicle. He looks curiously over hisshoulder at Jason as he climbs into his car.Jason presses his entire body against his car and startsthrusting his fingers in and out of the door rapidly. Itlooks like he’s either finger banging the vehicle ormasturbating.JASONCome on, you know my fingers, youlittle...A group of businesswomen walking by pick up their pace toget away from Jason.The car goes into full intruder mode, red lights flashingand alarm sounding.CAR VOICEStranger danger. Report police.Jason kicks the car repeatedly.INT. JASON’S CAR - A LITTLE LATERJason is reviewing business documents as the car apparentlydrives itself up a freeway ramp.EXT. FREEWAY - CONTINUOUSJason’s car merges seamlessly on to the freeway and into aperfectly straight line with hundreds of other self-drivingcars schlepping their owners home from work.MONTAGEDIGITAL 3-D BILLBOARD: A moving image of scientists growingbeef in a laboratory -- Lab-Grown Beef: It’s What’s ForDinnerCUT TO:(CONTINUED)

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