• Embed Doc
  • Copy Link
  • Readcast
  • Collections
  • CommentGo Back
Download
 
 
OTTAWA•THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 2009 
emtronews.ca
RECESSION SEX TIPS, PAGE 6
It’s that time of yearagain, when the grassis green and the aromaof hot dogs fill the air.
U of O students are inthe market for not only the best tasting dog but alsothe least expensive option.Students have the choice ofthree different vendors: thewhite shack located nearthe Simard parking lot,which offers combos withfries; or one of the twostands across fromone another onLaurier Avenuenear Taba-ret Hall.Forsomestudents street meat isstreet meat, but for othersit is about the quality ofthe hot dogs. According toa source that wishes to re-main anonymous, the hotdogs from the white shackare far too small to be con-sidered street meat and because of this, she prefersto purchase from one ofthe Laurier Avenue stands.“Wieners are always better when they are big-ger,” said the anony-mous hot dog aficionado.For other students, itis about the prices. Al-though competition isgood because it forces low-er prices, some studentsfind it difficult to choosethe [right] hot dog stand.“I always feel badfor choosing one standover the other,” second-year history studentRegina Falange said.At Dalhousie Universityin Halifax, students havethe stability of the “Dogfa-ther,” who has become aniconic symbol of the uni-versity. The Dogfather has been serving Dalhousie stu-dents for 20 years. Accord-ing to fourth-year fisher-man student John Citadel,“the Dogfather is very pop-ular because he offers the best street meat in Halifaxwith the best prices.” Dueto growing requests, theDogfather has expandedhis services and now offersgrocery products, makinghis stand a one-stop shop.“The U of O should holda competition to find ourvery own Dogfather whowould be forced to main-tain affordable prices forstudents,” said Falange.
U of O searches forthe ultimateDogfather
COALITION
 Leaders fromeach federal political partymet on Parliament Hill onMarch 27 to discuss thepossibility of a unified co-alition government. Themeeting itself was an at-tempt to provide aid to theConservatives during theeconomic crisis. The co-alition hopes to unify thecountry under a govern-ment that represents theinterests of all the partiesof Canada as opposed tothe interests of only one.“The most difficult part offorming this coalition will be to offer every single par-ty the one law or regulationthey wish to see enforced inCanada,” said CommunistParty of Canada spokesper-son Kirby Woolensworth.The coalition itself con-sists of both leading po-litical parties, as well as thesmaller parties such as theMarijuana Party of Canada,the First Peoples NationalParty of Canada, and theCanadian Action Party.Duke Lurkey, a coali-tion representative stated,“With everyone gettingtheir way, conflicts shouldnever arise.”
Canadian federal parties unite under recession pressure
 
t’s that time ofgain, when thes green and thef hot dogs fill th
U of O studentshe market for not o best tasting dog buhe least expensive otudents have the chhree different vendowhite shack locatehe Simard parkinwhich offers combories; or one of tstands acrossone anothaurier Anearrestudents street mstreet meat, but forit is about the qualhe hot dogs. Accorda source that wishesmain anonymous, tdogs from the whiteare far too small to bsidered street mea because of this, she po purchase from ohe Laurier Avenue s“Wieners are better when they arer,” said the
HELP
 
Protection Serviceswere called to duty Satur-day when a drunken Carle-ton Ravens mascot steppedonto U o O territory andtried to fght the Gee-Geemascot. According to aneyewitness, eathers wereying everywhere while theGee-Gee proceeded to beatthe Raven. Ater standingaround watching the fght,Protection o cers thenasked the bird to migrateback to its own campus.
EMTRO NEWS SERVICES
BUS
Ottawa’s transporta-tion company vowed toraise student ridership a-ter the winter bus strike byoering Halloween toeesto every fth student pas-senger. To be eligible orthe prize, students mustpresent their identifcationcards, donate 25 cents toOC Transpo, pocket a pieceo garbage rom the bus,and agree to reach theirdestination by oot.
EMTRO NEWS SERVICES
 Transportation
GARBAGE
Heiney Byresshas been accused o lit-tering in New York City. The amed actress andlip-syncher was shoppingin SoHo when she report-edly let a napkin all to thesidewalk. According to eyewitness accounts, Byressmade no eort to retrievethe napkin, but insteadcontinued walking. Theteen sensation denies theallegations and has takento her YouTube account,declaring, “This is just abunch o mean lies.”
EMTRO NEWS SERVICES
Litter bugByress!
FEET
Recommendations torejuvenate Foot Patrol ser-vices were implementedthis week. Students willnow be able to choosebetween regular and tapdancing services, accord-ing to Thomas O’Malleyo Foot Patrol services.O’Malley hopes to incor-porate other styles o dance in the near uture toaccommodate the diversestudent populationat the university.
EMTRO NEWS SERVICES
Foot Patrol
Up in arms!
 
U o O students recently gathered at a random spot oncampus on March 27 to join in a national mobilization. They jumped to signiy the recent jump in tuition ees.
Sports
pg 4
Hopscotch takesover thecity
   P   h  o   t  o   b  y   M  r .   P  o   t  a   t  o  e   H  e  a   d
 
Hopscotch takesover the city
WA•THURSDAY, APRIL , 2009
Sylvia Marpole
or Emtro Canada
Isabella Renfrew
or Emtro Canada
Celebrity Buzz
 
FozzieBearfoundguilty
 
.c
MTRO NEWS SERVICES
pg 5
Beaten bird
 
emtro emtronews.ca
Thursday, April 2, 2009
2
Local
Dinosaur
 The remains o the world’s oldest known dinosaur were recently discovered in a mattress ound in Stanton residence on March 26. The relicswere revealed ater two frst-year engineering students used the mattress to prevent reezing air rom seeping into their dormitory.
EMTRO NEWS SERVICES
Slates may have a placeat the U of O after all.
As Earth Hour wrappedup on March 28, repre-sentatives from variouscampus environmentalorganizations such as
Go Green or Go Home
and
Tree Huggers of the U of O
met to propose an ideathat would allow the Uni-versity of Ottawa to takethe next big step towardsprotecting the environ-ment: bringing back theslate board and chalk.Stacy Greenwood, pres-ident of
Go Green or GoHome
presented the ideato the administration.“With the high numberof students purchasing pa-per worldwide, the U of Owould be able to proudlysay they made a differ-ence,” said Greenwood.The administrationis preparing a series ofmeetings with environ-mental professors andstudent groups beforemaking any decisions.“This will really help theenvironment,” said EdwardBirch, professor of treestudies. “We will be able todo more for the enviromentthan any other univer-sity. By using slate boardsand chalk, we will be sig-nificantly reducing theamount of paper we buy,ultimately cutting downfewer trees,” said Birch.
Go Green or Go Home
and
Tree Huggers of the U of O
also noted that slates will benefit not only the envi-ronment, but students’ fi-nancial situations as well.“Instead of purchasingtons of paper, binders,pens, and even printers,it will only be necessaryfor students to purchaseone or two slates perclass,” explained Green-wood. “These slates can be reused as many timesas needed to completeassignments, tests, andto take notes. In a timeof recession, this will beextremely beneficial.”Meetings between the Uof O administration andenvironmental groupswill take place in June and July. By September 2009,students can expect touse a slate board in class, but not when it comes torunning in the StudentFederation of the Univer-sity of Ottawa elections.
Slates allowed at the U o O?
England is in a state of chaos after several top-secret documents werestolen from the Secret Intel-ligence Service in Londonlast Friday and were pub-lished online hours later.
 The documents, availablefor public viewing at queen-vsqueen.com, reveal a secretkept by the British mon-archy for years. It appearsthat Freddie Mercury, thelate lead singer of the rock band Queen, is the son ofQueen Elizabeth II. The de-tails can be found on the sitecreated by the thief, whoseidentity is still unknown.Mercury was allegedly putup for adoption based on theadvice given by a psychic,who predicted that the newson would rebel against themonarchy. He grew up just apoor boy from a poor family.“We were just try-ing to spare his life fromthis monstrosity,” said Su-san Bohemian, Mercury’sadoptive grandmother.Mercury is now saidto be the true heir to thethrone, and according to hiswill, the remaining bandmembers are expected toinherit all his worldly pos-sessions. The bandmatesare also to be formally of-fered the throne at a cer-emony on April 7 but havealready pledged to accept.“We look forward to hon-ouring Freddie’s memorythrough our leadership,”said guitarist and fu-ture king Brian May.Queen Elizabeth II wasnot available for comment.
Recession media
 The media industry is experiencing hardships during today’s di cult economic times,which is good news or ree papers. In an attempt to save money, readers are withdraw-ing rom newspaper subscriptions and opting or picking up ree daily papers beoregetting onto public transit. “The recession has orced our amily to make major cutbacks.Picking up a ree paper saves me that much more every month,” said Flora Barbossa, aormer loyal newspaper subscriber.
EMTRO NEWS SERVICES
She’s a killerQueen
HomesickHarper
COWBOY
 
Prime MinisterStephen Harper wasspotted at Loeb on RideauStreet March 27 shop-ping or drink mix beoreheading out to one o theByWard Market’s trendynightclubs. Sources sayHarper wanted to fnd acountry bar because he isstarting to get homesick or Alberta and thoughta hoedown would get hismind o the recession.
EMTRO NEWS SERVICES
 
 TigP 
Sylvia Marpole
or Emtro Canada
Darla Norrington
or Emtro Canada
 
 Thursday, April 2, 2009
 emtronews.ca
 
emtro
 
3
Local
 
Comment & Views
LOCAL
Producer, Elgin SomersetDirector, Laurier York 
Over the last year, it’s become pretty hard notto get swept up in thedebate about where to build a new stadium herein Ottawa. Some say Ka-nata. Some say Lansd-owne Park. Give it longenough, and someone willprobably suggest Carp.However, the solutionto this debate is a simpleone: we buy an inflatablestadium. Think aboutit—we can put it virtu-ally anywhere, wheneverwe need it. Football gameat Lansdowne Park? Noproblem. Concert at LeB-reton Flats? It’s there.Garlic Festival in Perth?Sure, it can do that too—provided Perth promisesto wash it afterwards.Now I know what you’reprobably thinking: you’rewondering about the un-doubtedly terrifying ideaof the logistics of this in-flatable stadium. Grant-ed, this would require adedicated team of peopletrained in the art of pump-ing things full of hot airand then deflating thema short while later. How-ever, given the rate we’vegone through electionslately in Canada, I don’tthink it will be too hardto find many out-of-workmembers of Parliament.The other great thingabout having an inflatablestadium is the monetary benefit. Not only willthe initial investment besmaller, but we’ll be ableto rent out our stadium toother cities that may be inneed of another one. I canonly imagine what thiswould do for Ottawa’stourism industry, with thefree advertising of havingOttawa’s stadium wob- bling gently in the breezein Toronto or Montreal.Yes, it’s true, this sta-dium will require somesacrifice—we’ll have togive up our bid to host the2016 World Lawn DartsChampionship, for one— but I think in the end,it’ll be worth it. The sheerflexibility of this stadium(both literal and figura-tive) will be of untoldvalue to Ottawa. So let’sstop tiptoeing around theissue, and put somethingup! And then take it downagain, and put it up some-where else. And so on.
For your consideration
I hope this letter is find-ing you well. I am writingwith news that is of theunfortunate nature: myuncle, Ibadon Edwafe, awealthy Nigerian busi-nessman, is no longer ofthis world. His will hasleft me $27.5 million inAmerican money, butas it is found in a Swiss bank account, I am notable to access it. So I wishto extend you an offer tohelp me in a manner ofpeace and friendship andof mutual benefit. I needsomeone in your countryto help me receive themoney to which I amentitled. Please, if youcould help me create a bank account to hold thefunds temporarily bysending your name, jobtitle, and credit card andsocial security numbers, Ipromise you will be given25 per cent of the total ascompensation. Thank you.
 ABDUL DIABANTE 
Sick of the trash
I own a small coffee shopon Bank Street, and I’ve just got to say I’m sick ofcopies of
Emtro
 being de-livered to the bus stopoutside my shop everyday. No matter what, theyend up blowing all overthe place after people takethem out of the stand andthen just leave them some-where, littered on thesidewalk. And don’t eventalk to me about what itlooks like after it rains.I actually think that thesnowstorm-like conditionscaused by your paper out-side my shop are drivingpeople away! So please, just stop delivering yourpapers to places like this;it just makes a mess andannoys nearly everyone.
MARISSA EDELWEISS
This town needs a blow-up doll!
Roger S.Marterthanu
Eye on the beato the city’s pulse
Your view: Do you think the city is adequately enforcing bylaw 481516.2342?
Alex Thompson
age 23, OttawaA: I, uh... well... Ithink that...wait...hmmm,whatwasthequestion?
KateMcGillis
age 26, OttawaA: Man, I love thissong!I can’t believeit wasn’ta hit!
Mark O’Brian
age 21, Georgetown
A: I’m not actuallyfrom around here. Hey,I don’t suppose you-could tell me where Ican findagoodplacetoeat?
SarahWestmore
age 19, OttawaA: Why the hell doyou keep following
WilliamShakespeare
age 444, London
A: Enterprisesof great pith andmoment, with thisregard, their currentsturn awry,and losethe name ofaction.
SamLabelle
age 20, OttawaA: Well, I’ve beenthinking this oneover a lot lately, andonce you getright down toit, I think it’spretty obvi-ous thatO. J. did it.
me? I toldyou touck of!
NATIONAL
Assoc Director, Lewis RichmondExec Director, Clarence FrielAsst Director, Kent SlaterAssoc Exec Director, Sparks O’ConnorAsst Exec Director, Albert MetcalfeKey Grip, Waller DalyBest Boy Grip, George St. Patrick Dolly Grip, Lyon Cooper
 
I can’t believeit wasn’ta hit!
o
 
coulcangooplactoeat?
Letters
 
of the week 
of 00

Leave a Comment

You must be to leave a comment.
Submit
Characters: ...
You must be to leave a comment.
Submit
Characters: ...