ANNALS OF

Special Issue

Instructions & Executions

0 7>

Guillotines and Ecology, Pain, Possibly, Naming Buggy Parts...

JULY|AUGUST 2009 (volume 15, number 4) $6.50 US|$9.50 CAN

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The journal of record for inflated research and personalities Annals of 2009 Annals of Improbable Research ISSN 1079-5146 print / 1935-6862 online

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AIR, P.O. Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238, USA Improbable Research and Ig and the tumbled thinker logo are all reg. U.S. Pat. & Tm. Off. FAX: 617-661-0927 www.improbable.com air@improbable.com EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu The journal of record for inated research and personalities
Commutative Editor Stanley Eigen Northeastern U. Associative Editor Mark Dionne Dissociative Editor Rose Fox Psychology Editor Robin Abrahams Contributing Editors Otto Didact, Stephen Drew, Ernest Ersatz, Emil Filterbag, Karen Hopkin, Alice Kaswell, Nick Kim, Katherine Lee, Bissel Mango, Randall Monroe, Steve Nadis, Nan Swift, Tenzing Terwilliger, Marina Tsipis, Bertha Vanatian VP, Human Resources Robin Abrahams Research Researchers Kristine Danowski, Martin Gardiner, Tom Gill, Mary Kroner, Wendy Mattson, Katherine Meusey, Srinivasan Rajagopalan, Tom Roberts, Tom Ulrich Design and Art Geri Sullivan PROmote Communications Lois Malone Rich & Famous Graphics Circulation Director Katherine Meusey Circulation (Counter-clockwise) James Mahoney Webmaster Julia Lunetta General Factotum (web) Jesse Eppers Technical Eminence Grise Dave Feldman Art Director emerita Peaco Todd Webmaster emerita Amy Gorin

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When all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.Sherlock Holmes Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts.Richard Feynman

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2 | Annals of Improbable Research | July August 2009 | vol. 15, no. 4

The very final word in health care

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Contents
The features marked with a star (*) are based entirely on material taken straight from standard research (and other Official and Therefore Always Correct) literature. Many of the other articles are genuine, too, but we dont know which ones.

Special Section: Instructions & Executions

6 9 12 The Ancient and Modern Ecology of Execution* Simcha Lev-Yadun Harold Hillman: Possible Pain*Stephen Drew Snippets of Instruction*Ernest Ersatz

Improbable Research Reviews*

4 5 20 Improbable Research Review*Dirk Manley Improbable Medical Review*Bertha Vanatian May We Recommend*Stephen Drew
Bissell Mango 24

On the Front Cover

A horizontal tabular boiler pictured in a 1902 book on how to tend it and other kinds of boilers. See page 16 (of this magazine) for details.

22  Soft Is Hard*Alice Shirrell Kaswell and Boys Will Be Boys*Katherine Lee

News & Notes

IFC 2 12 17 18 19 21 27 28 32 31 IBC HMO-NO News: Green Tea Diet! AIR Vents (letters from our readers) AIR Books Editorial Board XKCD: OutreachRandall Munroe 2009 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony Poster Puzzling SolutionsEmil Filterbag Medical End Notes*Caroline Richmond Teachers Guide CARTOON: Awkward SilenceNick Kim Back Issues Unclassified Ads

On the Back Cover

A photograph of Gaspard-Flix Tournachon (1820-1910), well-known in his day by the professional pseudonym Nadar. He is thought to be the first person to take photographs from a balloon aloft. This image is from the Smithsonian Institutions collection.

Coming Events
October 1 October 3 October 24 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony & webcast Ig Informal Lectures Genoa Science Festival

November 24 NPR Science Friday annual Ig broadcast See WWW.IMPROBABLE.COM for details of these and other events.

Every Day
Read something new and improbable every weekday on the Improbable Research blog, on our web site: www.improbable.com

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Annals of Improbable Research | July August 2009 | vol. 15, no. 4 | 1

AIR Vents
Exhalations from our readers
of my professional companions were. Much as I enjoyed the work, and prideful though I am of myself and of my erstwhile colleagues, I know superior talent when I see it. Patricia Wallace London, UK NOTE: The opinions expressed here represent the opinions of the authors and do not necessarily represent the opinions of those who hold other opinions.

Zeroing in on the Problem

In reference to your recent issue on Murphys Law (which has not yet appeared), please be advised that said law is a corollary of Lamports Prequel to Murphys Law, which states: The probability that there exists a probability of zero is zero. Leslie Lamport Microsoft Research Mountain View, California

Schizophrenics as Tour Guides (3)

So many people cry that we should get the schizophrenics off the streets. Your editorial explains why, in some cases, that is exactly the wrong thing to do. While many schizophrenics are ill-equipped to function on their own, a surprisingly large percentage would thrive if they were given work that so well suitsand celebratestheir strengths. Dr. Milton Wu Hong Kong, China

Exciting Research
The PsychInfo database yielded up this citation: Nocturnal Emission and Masturbatory Frequency Relationships: A 19th-Century Account, B.R. Burg, Journal of Sex Research, vol. 24, 1988, pp. 216-20. The abstract reads: Analyzed weekly masturbation and nocturnal emission frequency by age, educational level, and generation (younger or older), using data from studies by P.C. Van Buskirk (unpublished manuscript) and A. C. Kinsey et al (1948). In doing this database search, I was using the Ovid search interface, which, upon displaying the subject header nocturnal emission, gave me the option to auto-explode. [EDITORS NOTE: The image here shows a footnote extracted from B.R. Burgs report.] David Epstein Towson, Maryland

Schizophrenics as Tour Guides (1)

I endorse your editorial call (AIR 14:7) for having the local schizophrenics serve as tour guides to major cities. Here in New York we have an adequate supply of people who are qualified to train for the job. Having listened to bits of what the current official tour guides say, I feel sure that the new tours would be both more entertaining and no less inaccurate. Willy Renfro Adams, MD New York City, NY

Object is Not Prussian

Olivia Rausch is a moron. The photo in her article (Museum Treasures for Children, AIR 14:7) does not show a disused late-nineteenth century Prussian cannon shell as she claims. Thats no cannon shell. Its a piece of whale anatomy. Doris Morra, Ph.D. Cajamarca, Peru

Schizophrenics as Of Shrews, at Third-Hand Tour Guides (2)

Having undergone the training to become a tour guide, and having done the work for several summers when I was younger, and having over many years observed and interacted with many of the native London schizophrenics, I am certain that these gentlemen and ladies will, on the whole, be much better at the job than I was and than most Thank you for publishing my brief letter (AIR Vents, 15:2) about G. Mortenson Acloques brief letter (AIR Vents, 15:1) about the article The Tasting of the Shrew (AIR 14:5). My letter was brief, though not as delightfully brief as G. Mortenson Acloques. Jun Paik, Ph.D. Seoul, Korea
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Overhanded Imaging
Perhaps one of your readers can solve this mystery. This drawing is in two of three copies I own (yes, I am a book collector) of the 1895 book 400 Versuche aus dem Gebiete der Mechanik, Akustik, Wrme, Optik, Elektricitt. Uebungsbuch fr den Experimentirkasten, Meiser and Mertig, editors, (4th edition, Dresden, Selbstverlag). My third copy contains a nearly identical drawing, but one that does not have the hand sticking out of the slot in the box on the table. I am sure there are good historical reasons why the hand does not appear in that one copy of the book, but my knowledge of elementary physics experiments is too limited to tell me what that reason could be. I hope somebody will enlighten me. Shawn Thieb Hogekirk, South Africa

Superhero-related Dangers, Related

I would like to add to the body of literature presented in LowLevel Superheroics (Icky Cutesy Research Review, AIR 15:3) a report on Superhero-related Injuries in Paediatrics: A Case Series, by Davies et al., Archives of Disease in Childhood, vol. 92, 3, 2007, by presenting my personal case study. At the approximate age of 710 years old, I climbed to the roof of our two-storied house with the purpose of achieving self-propelled flight. I had at the time, as I do now, little knowledge of the basics of aerodynamics and was pursuing this course of action having been inspired by Batman (not Spiderman or Superman as in the original report). As some of you may know, the Batman has no special superpowers of any type (other than extreme wealth) and specific to his flying prowess I could at the time, as I do now, characterize it simply as both purposeful and self-evident. Batman also wears a cape, and to emulate this behavior I wore a white bath towel wrapped around my neck (quite tightly I remember). To be in full disclosure, this may, or may not qualify as a costume as stated with the five cases in the original report; but give me a break, it was the best I could do! In addition, as an eerie parallel to the original report, I too had made no plans for landing strategies. As I stood on the edge of the roof ready to imitate flight my mother walked up to the house from work and asked me what I was doing. After stating the obviousI was going to flyshe asked me, in more explicit terms, to get down from the roof this instant. Soon thereafter I got a spanking which ended all subsequent efforts in self-propelled flight. However, despite the event, this was not to be the end of my pursuit of other, varied, low-level superheroics. Martin Schiavenato PhD, LFHCfS Rochester, NY

Maybe Mel, Pointedly

Oh, no, no, no, no. I apologize for taking up your time and so many pages of your letters column. Thank you for publishing my nowsadly-lengthy series of letters (most recently in AIR Vents 15:3) and reproducing our new photographic treasure. My assistant Gruber has demonstrated to my that Mel was in the photograph, but that I, though my heavy-handed corrections, have obliterated the image of him. The indicator markings I have added here show where Mel is located in the image. Sadly, sadly, they do not show Mel, as he is beneath the black, black ink. Lheal Chormnast TRPNOF Archives Moldavia

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Improbable Research Review

Improbable theories, experiments, and conclusions
compiled by Dirk Manley, Improbable Research staff

Gender-Sussing of Kitty
Identification of Gender In Domestic-Cat Faces With and Without Training: Perceptual Learning of a Natural Categorization Task, Paul C. Quinn, Vanessa Palmer, and Alan M. Slater, Perception, vol. 28, no. 6, 1999, pp. 74963. (Thanks to Morton Fisk for bringing this to our attention.) The authors are at Washington Jefferson College, Washington, Pennsylvania, and at the University of Exeter, U.K. They report: The findings indicate that, with appropriate training, human observers can identify the gender of cat faces at an above-chance level.

The Case of the Missing Worms

Hepaticoliasis: a Frequent and Sometimes Fatal Verminous Infestation of the Livers of Rats and Other Rodents, F.D. Weidman, Journal of Parasitology, vol. 12, no. 1, 1925. pp. 1925. (Thanks to Wendy Cooper for bringing this to our attention.) The author relates the difficulty of this research: This second rat died in six months and two filariform worms were found in its liver but no ova. Before the writer could determine their structural details they were lost, being eaten by cockroaches during a short absence from the laboratory room, but is believed that they were adult male Hepaticola.

Detail from the Quinn/Palmer/Slater study Identification of Gender In Domestic-Cat Faces With and Without Training: Perceptual Learning of a Natural Categorization Task.

Spoonful o Neutrons
Measurements of 60Co in Spoons Activated by Neutrons During the JCO Criticality Accident at Tokai-mura in 1999, J. Gasparro, M. Hult, K. Komura, D. Arnold, L. Holmes, P.N. Johnston, M. Laubenstein, S. Neumaier, J.L. Reyss, P. Schillebeeckx, H. Tagziria, G. Van Britsom, and R. Vasselli, Journal of Environmental Radioactivity, vol. 73, no. 3, 2004, pp. 30721.

We welcome your suggestions for this and other columns. Please enclose the full citation (no abbreviations!) and, if possible, a copy of the paper.

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Improbable Medical Review

Improbable diagnoses, techniques, and research
compiled by Bertha Vanatian, Improbable Research staff

Petting Pets, and the Immune System

Effect of Petting a Dog on Immune System Function, C.J. Charnetski, S. Riggers, and F.X. Brennan, Psychological Reports, vol. 95, no. 3, part 2, December 2004, pp. 108791. Charnetski and Brennan, who shared the 1997 Ig Nobel Medicine Prize for demonstrating that listening to elevator Muzak can help prevent the common cold, explain here that: The present study assessed the effect of petting a dog on secretory immunoglobulin A (IgA) levels. 55 college students were randomly assigned to either an experimental group or one of two control groups. Group 1 petted a live dog; Group 2 petted a stuffed dog, while Group 3 simply sat comfortably on a couch. Each participant was exposed to one of the three conditions for 18 min. Pre- and posttreatment saliva samples yielded a significant increase in IgA for Group 1 only.

Petting Humans, and the Immune System

Sexual Frequency and Salivary Immunoglobulin A (IgA), C.J. Charnetski and F.X. Brennan, Psychological Reports, vol. 94, no. 3, part 1, June 1994, pp. 83944. The authors explain that: 112 college students reported the frequency of their sexual encounters and were divided into four categories: none, infrequent (less than once a week), frequent (one to two times per week), and very frequent (three or more times per week). Participants also described their overall sexual satisfaction. Saliva samples were collected and assayed for salivary immunoglobulin A (IgA). Individuals in the frequent group showed significantly higher levels of IgA than the other three groups, which were comparable.

Detail from the Charnetski/Riggers/Brennan study Effect of Petting a Dog on Immune System Function.

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The Ancient and Modern Ecology of Execution

by Simcha Lev-Yadun Department of Science EducationBiology, Faculty of Science and Science Education University of Haifa, Oranim, Tivon, Israel. with instructive illustrations and historical documentation selected by Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Improbable Research staff
The global energy crisis and other global changes have been studied from endless points of view. Here, I wish to discuss these matters, and also global ecology, from the point of view of the changing methods of executions, a point of view that has never been studied before. The earth has been the scene and source of inspiration for innovative adaptations in the way humans execute each other. South America, the continent most prominently visible in this photograph, is not mentioned in the text of this study. Photo: Laboratory for Atmospheres at NASAs Goddard Space Flight Center.

Ancient Hebrews and Arab Innovations

The ancient Hebrews, living in the barren hill country of Judea and Samaria, executed people by stoning. The rocky, almost tree-less environment explains the use of this execution method. Arabs in the nearby sandy deserts of Saudi Arabia could not stone condemned people to death with sand particles, and instead used to decapitate them with a sword.

The innovation of stoning is described on page 87 of The Criminal Code of the Jews, Philip Berger Benny, Smith, Elder and Company, London, 1880.

Ancient Arab swords. Note that some designs were more commonly used for decapitation, and other designs less so. Drawing: The Book of the Sword, Sir Richard Francis Burton, Chatto and Windus, London, 1884.
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Ancient Turkish and Asian Tropical Innovations

In the Near East, gravity, which comes free of charge, was also used for traditional execution. The Turks, for instance, used to execute by impaling people on a metal spear, a vivid practice known as Chazuk. A botanical parallel was in use in tropical regions of Asia, where instead of putting the bound condemned person on top of a spear, he was tied on top of a young palm or a bamboo. The plant shoot, in its search for light, grew quickly (a very relative term for the impaled one) through the condemned person. Such good plant growth was possible in the tropics, but not in the much more arid Near East. We see that when it was possible, biology was used, but when impossible, physics also served the purpose.

At least one form of impalement by stake is thought to be a Turkish innovation. Details here are from The Eastern Question: Its Facts and Fallacies, Malcolm MacColl, Longmans, Green and Co., London, 1877.

Impalement by bamboo growth originated in regions of Asia that could take advantage of the rapid growth of certain varieties of the bamboo plant. Details shown here are from Two Happy Years in Ceylon, Constance Frederica Gordon Cumming, Chatto and Windus, London, 1893. Be sure to read footnote 1 in this image.

continued >

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The end was quick, and again, there was no waste of timber.
Ancient Roman Innovations
Still in the semi-arid Mediterranean, the Romans, who suffered from the consequences of severe deforestation, conserved good quality timber by the practice of crucifixion. They used wooden crosses repeatedly, and even forced the condemned people to carry the horizontal beam. An alternative tree-based method that saved the trees used in execution was to bend two trees till they were close and tie them with ropes so the ropes prevented them from straightening up. The condemned person was tied to the trees (an arm and a leg to each tree), the ropes holding the trees were cut. The end was quick, and again, there was no waste of timber.

Medieval European Innovations

In then-wooded Medieval Europe, people were executed for centuries by the auto-de-fe, i.e., burnt alive on the stake. This spectacular procedure was carried on till the increasing depletion of the forests was recognized. Thus, in the 18th century, a new method, much friendlier to the environment, emerged: the guillotine. Taking into account the large number of people executed using the guillotine during the French Revolution, the continued use of auto-de-fe would probably have depleted the remaining forests of Western Europe.

North American Innovations

In a different wooded ecosystem, in North America, before the forests were cut down, condemned people were hanged on trees. Following the forest decline in many parts of the U.S., the electric chair, based on electricity produced from fossil oil or coal, was invented and used. Being industrialized, this method of execution suited the U.S. However, following the energy crisis of the 1970s, among the various measures to save energy, many of the U.S. states decided to use lethal injections.

The guillotine proved to be an environmentally friendly innovation in France. Drawing: History of the Guillotine, John Wilson Croker, John Murray, London, 1853.

Conclusion: Execution and Conservation

We can therefore see that both regional ecology and environmental changes influenced the methods of execution in various countries and ecologies. In any case, a global trend of environmental conservation along with the exploitation of specific local resources is obvious in this colorful aspect of human culture.

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Harold Hillman: Possible Pain

by Stephen Drew, Improbable Research staff
Theres pleasure to be had in reading The Possible Pain Experienced During Execution by Different Methods, if only the pleasure of feeling the authors possible satisfaction at having done a thorough job.

The Man
There exist few reliable, firsthand reports of the pain experienced during an execution. Harold Hillman was Director of the Unity Laboratory of Applied Neurobiology, and a Reader in Physiology at the University of Surrey, in Guildford. He spent years gathering whatever information he could find about what it feels like to undergo each of the most popular forms of capital punishment. Dr. Hillman drew from a wide variety of sources: Observations on the condemned persons, postmortem examinations, physiological studies on animals undergoing similar procedures, and the literature on emergency medicine. This he caringly distilled into a fact-filled, eight-page report that provoked reactions of many different kinds admiring, disgusted, disdainful, horrified, and in some circles, mordantly amused. continued >

Dr. Hillman at an event in London during the Ig Nobel Tour of the UK and Ireland in 2004. Photo: Kees Moeliker.

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The Methods
Dr. Hillman gave a detailed description of each method of execution: how the act is performed, the typical physiological course of events in the executee, and a quick pathological examination of the remains. He began with shooting (This may be carried out [by an executioner] who fires from behind the condemned persons occiput towards the frontal region...). Next came hanging. After hanging came stoning. Dr. Hillman pointed out that This form of execution is likely to result in the slowest form of death of any of the methods used. This was followed by beheading. (The skin, muscles, and vertebrae of the neck are tough, so that beheading does not always result from a single blow....) Then came electrocution. After that, gassing. (The condemned person is strapped to a chair in front of a pail of sulfuric acid, in an airtight chamber...) And in the end, came intravenous injection. (The condemned person is bound supine to a trolley and a trained nurse or technician cannulates the vein in the angle of the elbow....)

perspires, has dilated pupils, withdraws from the noxious stimulus, moves the limbs violently, contracts the facial muscles, micturates, and defaecates. Dr. Hillman constructed a helpful little chart to show, at a glance, which of these signs of possible pain typically can or cannot be detected during each method of execution. Altogether, the Hillman report is a helpful treasury of grisly detail augmented with medical speculation. Its ultimate conclusion: All of the methods for executing people, with the possible exception of intravenous injection, are likely to cause pain.

Honor, and Public Recognition

The report, together with the massive research involved in producing it, earned Harold Hillman the 1997 Ig Nobel Peace Prize. Citing a combination of ambivalence and financial constraints, the winner chose not to attend the Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Six years later, however, he took part in the Ig Nobel Tour of the UK and Ireland, where he delighted and mystified audiences in several cities.

Reference
The Possible Pain Experienced During Execution by Different Methods, Harold Hillman, Perception, vol. 22, 1993, pp. 745-53.

Dr. Hillman and the Meaning of It All

Having described in quite gory detail the nuts and bolts of each form of execution, Dr. Hillman then got to the heart of the matter: the pain. Dr. Hillman makes no wild claim to omniscience. As he put it: [One does not] know for how long and how severely a decapitated head feels. There are substantial areas of ignorance, so that one cannot know for certain the extent of pain in respect of a particular method. What one can do, Dr. Hillman pointed out, is watch for signs of pain. He got specific: In everyday life, a person in severe pain shouts or screams,

Dr. Hillman at an event in Exeter during the 2004 tour. The man in the foreground, helping Dr. Hillman project images of his work, is Pek van Andel, himself an Ig Nobel Prize winner. Dr. van Andel led the team that made the first MRI images of a couples sexual organs while those organs were in use. Photo: Kees Moeliker
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Detail from Professor Hillmans study: some of the observed signs that are believed to indicate pain.

Further detail from Professor Hillmans study: Notes about evidence examined by other researchers.

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Snippets of Instruction

Bits of regulated wisdom from many fields

compiled by Ernest Ersatz, Improbable Research staff

How to Obtain Gold

These are from the book Alaska and the Klondike Gold Fields, Containing a Full Account of the Discovery of Gold; Enormous Deposits of the Precious Metal; Routes Traversed by Miners; How to Find Gold; Camp Life at Klondike Practical Instructions for Fortune Seekers Including a Description of the Gold Regions; Land of Wonders; Immense Mountains, Rivers and Plains; Native Inhabitants; etc., A.C. Harris, Minter Company, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, 1897.

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How to Instruct a Jury

This is from the book Sacketts Instructions and Requests for Instructions in Jury Trials, second edition revised, Frederick Sackett and Martin L. Newell , Callaghan and Co., Chicago, 1888.

How to and How Not to Vary Hand Gestures

This is from the book The Rhetorical Reader: Consisting of Instructions for Regulating the Voice, with a Rhetorical Notation, Illustrating Inflection, Emphasis, and Modulation, and a Course of Rhetorical Exercises Designed for the Use of Academies and High-Schools, Ebenezer Porter, Dayton & Newman, New York, 1842.

continued >
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How to Run Train Number 43

This is from the book Explanation of Train Rules, Train Orders, Special Instructions, and Rules Governing the Use of Block Signals and Interlocking Plants, Otho William Brandt, Tiernan-Dart Printing Co., Kansas City, Missouri, 1919.

How to Behave
This is from the book Behavior Book A Guide and Manual for Ladies as Regards Their conversation; manners; dress; introductions; entree to society; shopping; conduct in the street; at places of amusement; in traveling; at the table, either at home, in company, or at hotels; deportment in gentlemens society; lips; complexion; teeth; hands; the hair; etc., etc. With full instructions and advice in letter writing; receiving presents; incorrect words; borrowing; obligations to gentlemen; offences; children; decorum in church; at evening parties; and full suggestions in bad practices and habits easily contracted, which no young lady should be guilty of, etc., etc., Eliza Leslie, T.B. Peterson and Brothers, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

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How to Handle Heraldry

This is from the book Handbook of Heraldry with Instructions for Tracing Pedigrees and Deciphering Ancient Mss,; Rules for the Appointment of Liveries &c., fourth edition, John E. Cussans, Chatto & Windus, London, 1893.

How to Tend a Boiler

This is from the book Maxims and Instructions for the Boiler Room Useful to Engineers, Firemen and Mechanics, Relating to Steam Generators, Pumps, Appliances, Steam Heating, Practical Plumbing, etc., N. Hawkins, Theo. Audel and Co., New York, 1902. continued >

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How to Name the Parts of a Buggy

This is from the February 1905 issue of the magazine Popular Mechanics. (Thanks to Rose Fox for bringing it to our attention.)

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Political Science Richard G. Neimi****, Rochester, NY Psychiatry and Neurology Robert Hoffman, Daly City, CA Psychology Dan Ariely*******, Duke U Louis G. Lippman, Western Wash. U. G. Neil Martin, Middlesex U., UK Chris McManus*******, University Coll. London Neil J. Salkind, U. of Kansas Pulmonary Medicine Traian Mihaescu, Iasi, Romania Science Policy Al Teich, American Assn for the Advancement of Science Stochastic Processes (selected at random from amongst our subscribers) Mehmet Levend Grses Bolu, Turkey Swordswallowing Dan Meyer *******, Cutting Edge Innertainment Women's Health Andrea Dunaif, Northwestern U. JoAnn Manson, Brigham & Women's Hosp.

Computer Science Dennis Frailey, Texas Instruments, Plano, TX Materials Science Robert T. Morris***, MIT Robert M. Rose, MIT Margo Seltzer, Harvard U. Medical Ethics Economics Erwin J.O. Kompanje, Erasmus MC Ernst W. Stromsdorfer, Washington St. U. University, Rotterdam Engineering Dean Kamen, DEKA Research Methodology Rod Levine, National Insts of Health

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XKCD

by Randall Monroe: Outreach

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The

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ements g achiev in r o n o H AUGH people L e k a m that INK. then TH

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Annals of Improbable Research | July August 2009 | vol. 15, no. 4 | 19

May We Recommend
Items that merit a trip to the library
compiled by Stephen Drew, Improbable Research staff

The Importance of Stupidity

The Importance of Stupidity in Scientific Research, Martin A. Schwartz, Journal of Cell Science, June 2008, vol. 1, no. 121, pt. 11, p. 1771. (Thanks to Betsy Devine for bringing this to our attention.) The author, at the University of Virginia, explains: Productive stupidity means being ignorant by choice. Focusing on important questions puts us in the awkward position of being ignorant. One of the beautiful things about science is that it allows us to bumble along, getting it wrong time after time, and feel perfectly fine as long as we learn something each time. No doubt, this can be difficult for students who are accustomed to getting the answers right. No doubt, reasonable levels of confidence and emotional resilience help, but I think scientific education might do more to ease what is a very big transition: from learning what other people once discovered to making your own discoveries. The more comfortable we become with being stupid, the deeper we will wade into the unknown and the more likely we are to make big discoveries.

Martin A. Schwartz, stupidity author. Portrait by Nan Swift, Improbable Research staff.

20 | Annals of Improbable Research | July August 2009 | vol. 15, no. 4

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Puzzling Solutions
Solution to Last Months Puzzler
by Emil Filterbag, Improbable Research staff

Figure 1.

1. This one is from the United States Army Corps of Engineerss Walla Walla Districts Design Memorandum No. 28 Lower Granite Master Plan for the management of all natural and manmade resources of Lower Granite Lock and Dam, as can be seen from the full image here (Figure 1). 2. This one is a colonoscopy brochure, as can be seen from the full image here (Figure 2).

Figure 2.

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Annals of Improbable Research | July August 2009 | vol. 15, no. 4 | 21

Soft Is Hard
Further evidence why the soft sciences are the hardest to do well
compiled by Alice Shirrell Kaswell and Bissell Mango, Improbable Research staff

Pigeons/Paintings (Kids): Good/BadYes/No

Pigeons Can Discriminate Good and Bad Paintings by Children, Shigeru Watanabe, Animal Cognition, epub ahead of print, June 17, 2009, DOI:10.1007/s10071-0090246-8. (Thanks to Ewan Calloway for bringing this to our attention.) The author, who shared an Ig Nobel Prize for his 1995 study Pigeons Discrimination of Paintings by Monet and Picasso, reports: I investigated whether pigeons could be trained to discriminate between paintings that had been judged by humans as either bad or good. To do this, adult human observers first classified several childrens paintings as either good (beautiful) or bad (ugly). Using operant conditioning procedures, pigeons were then reinforced for pecking at good paintings. Detail from the Watanabe study Pigeons Can Discriminate Good and Bad Paintings by Children.

Alcoholics Preference Discovered

Recreation, Leisure and the Alcoholic, H. Douglas Sessoms and Sidney R. Oakley, Journal of Leisure Research, vol. 1, no. 1, 1969, pp. 2132. The Curriculum in Recreation Administration of the University of North Carolina and the Alcoholic Rehabilitation Center (ARC) at Butner, N.C., jointly undertook and investigation of the leisure patterns of a select group of alcoholics.... [Our data shows that] the alcoholic is generally not a joiner, but when he is, he prefers clubs where alcoholic beverages are available.

22 | Annals of Improbable Research | July August 2009 | vol. 15, no. 4

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Sweetness vs. Cocaine

Intense Sweetness Surpasses Cocaine Reward, Magalie Lenoir, Fuschia Serre, Lauriane Cantin, and Serge H. Ahmed, PLoS ONE, vol. 2, no. 8, August 1, 2007. The authors, at University Bordeaux, France, report: Here we report that when rats were allowed to choose mutually-exclusively between water sweetened with saccharinan intense caloriefree sweetenerand intravenous cocainea highly addictive and harmful substancethe large majority of animals (94%) preferred the sweet taste of saccharin. The preference for saccharin was not attributable to its unnatural ability to induce sweetness without calories because the same preference was also observed with sucrose, a natural sugar. Finally, the preference for saccharin was not surmountable by increasing doses of cocaine and was observed despite either cocaine intoxication, sensitization or intake escalationthe latter being a hallmark of drug addiction.

Appreciating Organizational Psychopaths

The Dark Side of Management Decisions: Organisational Psychopaths, Clive Roland Boddy, Management Decision, vol. 44, no. 10, 2006, pp. 146175. (Thanks to Martin Gardiner for bringing this to our attention.) The author, at Middlesex University Business School in Perth, Australia, reports: This paper defines organisational psychopaths as being those psychopaths who exist at an incidence of about 1 percent of the general population and who work in organisations. The paper describes how these organisational psychopaths are able to present themselves as desirable employees and are easily able to obtain positions in organisations. Without the inhibiting effect of a conscience they are then able to ruthlessly charm, lie, cajole and manipulate their way up an organisational hierarchy in pursuit of their main aims of power, wealth and status and at the expense of anyone who gets in their way.... The paper suggests that having organisational psychopaths running corporations that are themselves, at best, amoral is a recipe for negative consequences.

Secrets: the Sham Shame

The Sham Shame in the Neurotic Complaint, Edmund Bergler, International Journal of Sexology, vol. 7, 1953, pp. 2830. The author explains that: One type of sham shame, talking in company, is discussed. In analyzing these patients, it is noted that one finds three mechanisms hidden behind the more superficial, though repressed, phallic castration: (1) Unsolved peeping conflicts, (2) mechanism of Pseudo-moral connotation of the neurotic symptom, and (3) masochistic elaboration.

The Foul and the Fragrant

The Foul and the Fragrant: Odor and the French Social Imagination, Alain Berg, Harvard University Press, Massachusetts, 1986, ISBN 0-674-31175-2. The author is at the Sorbonne.

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Annals of Improbable Research | July August 2009 | vol. 15, no. 4 | 23

Boys Will Be Boys

Research by and for adolescent males of all ages and sexes
compiled by Katherine Lee, Improbable Research staff

Brassiere Specialist: Man Makes His Points

"Brassiere Having Simulated Nipples," U.S. patent #3976083, issued to Jakob E. Schmidt of Charlestown, Indiana, on Aug 24, 1976. (Mr. Schmidt also was granted patent # 4241737 for "Brassiere Having Simulated Nipples and Attachable-Detachable Nipple Simulators" and patent #4127128 for the identically named "Brassiere Having Simulated Nipples and Attachable-Detachable Nipple Simulators," ."Patent #3976083 is for: A brassiere is disclosed having cups which are provided with a nipple-like protuberance simulating the bulge of a natural nipple. The nipple-like bulge or protuberance may be a built-in component of the brassiere, usually situated under the fabric of the cup; a component which is permanently attached to the external surface of the brassiere cop; or an individual structure which may be attached to or detached from the brassiere cup as will, by means of several linkage and attachment mechanisms... simulated nipples for a brassiere would offer an acceptable compromise for ladies who do not wish to go without a brassiere and a welcome release from the subconscious effects of the suppression brought on by wearing brassieres of the types variously available, which obliterate the nipple

Girls Will Be Girls

Womens Porno: The Heterosexual Female Gaze in Porn Sites For Women, Terrie Schauer, Sexuality and Culture, vol. 9, no. 2, June 2005, pp. 4264. The author, at Simon Fraser University, reports: The article deals with a number of Internet sites claiming to specialize in providing pornography for heterosexual women, as a vehicle to examine the nascent gaze and visual parameters of heterosexual female sexuality. The focus here is semioticlooking at visual coding of website images rather than audience reception... The remainder of the article does a comparative textual analysis of nine pornographic Internet sites, three of which label themselves for women. Findings are as follows: Womens porno fuses the matter and anti-matter of mens homo- and heterosexual pornography, in the process engendering an active, sexually interested, heterosexual female gaze and typifying Butler notion of insurrectionary speech.

24 | Annals of Improbable Research | July August 2009 | vol. 15, no. 4

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Desirability to Drunks
Effects of Acute Alcohol Consumption on Ratings of Attractiveness of Facial Stimuli: Evidence of Long-Term Encoding, Lycia L.C. Parker, Ian S. Penton-Voak, Angela S. Attwood, and Marcus R. Munaf, Alcohol and Alcoholism, vol. 43, no. 6, 2008, pp. 63640, DOI:10.1093/alcalc/agn065. (Thanks to Joe Ham for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, at the University of Bristol, UK, explain: A strongly held popular belief is that alcohol increases the perceived attractiveness of members of the opposite sex. Despite this, there are no experimental data that investigate this possibility. We therefore explored the relationship between acute alcohol consumption and ratings of attractiveness of facial stimuli.... We tested participants immediately following consumption of alcohol or placebo and one day later, in order to investigate whether any effects of alcohol persist beyond acute effects.... CONCLUSIONS: Alcohol consumption increases ratings of attractiveness of facial stimuli, and this effect is not selective for opposite-sex faces. In addition, the effects of alcohol consumption on ratings of attractiveness persist for up to 24 h after consumption, but only in male participants when rating female (i.e. opposite-sex) faces.

AsS Melt Under Pressure: One Substance, Three Liquids, V.V. Brazhkin, Y. Katayama, M.V. Kondrin, T. Hattori, A.G. Lyapin, and H. Saitoh, Physical Review Letters, vol. 100, no. 145701, 2008, DOI:10.1103/PhysRevLett.100.145701. (Thanks to Jerry Ryan for bringing this to our attention.) The authors, who are variously at the Russian Academy of Sciences in the Troitsk Moscow region, Russia and at the Japan Atomic Energy Agency in Hyogo, Japan, report: An in situ high-temperaturehigh-pressure study of liquid chalcogenide AsS by x-ray diffraction, resistivity measurements, and quenching from melt is presented.

AsS Melt Under Pressure

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Medical End Notes

Fun bits from doctors obituaries
by Caroline Richmond, medical obituarist, London, U.K.

Bill Keatinge: Exit Pursued by a Bear

Bill Keatinge, (19312008), of Queen Mary University College, London, was an expert on the health effects of temperature extremes, and how to adapt to them. His obituary includes this passage: His failures included failing to resuscitate a polar bear with a broken neck. He was in Alaska attempting to study temperature before, during, and after hibernation in a pair of bears. The bears had been shot with short acting anaesthetic darts. One was knocked out as intended but the other ran into, and up, a tree, falling off. While Bill was attempting to resuscitate ithe was unaware it had broken its neckhis colleagues inserted a rectal probe in the other bear, which woke up, very aggrieved. Exit Keatinge, pursued by a bear. [Bill Keatings obituary, written by Caroline Richmond, appeared in BMJ, vol. 337, August 9, 2008 | p. 358.]

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cartoon by Nick Kim

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PERIODICALS

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ISSN 1079-5146 print / 1935-6862 online Volume 15, Number 4 JulyAugust 2009
30 | Annals of Improbable Research | July August 2009 | vol. 15, no. 4

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