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Afraid of Love

Afraid of Love



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June recently lost her father to cancer and ends up having to live with her aunt rosa. She meets a boy named Jefferson, and falls for him. And he falls for her, except he has a girlfriend. It's all very stressful for June until she meets Carlos. A boy who she befriends to help her through her journey of love.
June recently lost her father to cancer and ends up having to live with her aunt rosa. She meets a boy named Jefferson, and falls for him. And he falls for her, except he has a girlfriend. It's all very stressful for June until she meets Carlos. A boy who she befriends to help her through her journey of love.

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Published by: Cassandra-December Marcelle on Jun 18, 2009
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Afraid of love
I've been asking myself this question over and over again, Is love a game? Cause no matter how hard I try, I never win.It's like trying to write a love story but running out of ink in the pen. Suspense. Like a fairytale beginning, but you never find out how it ends. So I often wonder If I'll ever, If i'll ever find true love. What am Iafraid of? If I'm afraid to love, Or if I'm afraid of love, then how will Iever find the one? - Afraid of love- Brutha
Chapter 1: School!?
I was sitting on my new house's old white porch staring out into my newneighborhood on Pastridge st. I brushed back a long strand of my long red hair behind my ear. Imissed my father, he passed away from cancer. After that happened I moved in with my AuntRosa. She had no kids, and was extremely excited when I was going to move in with her and herfiance Peter. I, however felt dead. I didn't care where I moved to as long as I got away fromthe painful memories of my old house. I was greatful I looked like my mother because I didn'twant to see my father everytime I looked into a mirror. My mother left us when I was just born.She basically just popped me out and left. I had my father's eyes though. Sky blue, with greenaround the pupils. Sometimes, on days like this when I cried my eyes out, my eyes would turngrey, just like his did. I started thinking about getting contacts to cover it up.I heard the door open behind me and I quickly wiped a tear away from my eye."June, it's time to eat." Rosa called to me in her strong spanish accent. She was my mother'ssister. My mother's side was from Argentina and Columbia, while my father's side was fromEngland and Scotland. She was the closest relative I've had all my life besides my father and mylittle brother Steven. "Okay." I was getting better at hiding my silent cries. Usually my voicewould crack and uncover the truth, but if I kept my answers short, I'd be able to wear the maska little longer. Until she sat down and examined my face, that is.Rosa sat down next to me and tried to grab my eyes' attention. "Life goes on,June, You need to accept that sometime." She's been begging me to get over my father's deathfor the whole month I've been living here. I turned my head trying to deny the truth. It wastrue though, what she said, but sometimes life goes on and you don't have enough time tocatch up. We all caught up on our own pace. "Yeah, well his life didn't." I responded coolly. Ilooked back into her eyes and she stared at me thinking of the best possible come back. Aminute had passed and she finally answered."Yes, well sometimes you need to make the best of what you've got." She always tried to makeme feel better, but I was too lifeless to be helped right now. I was lifeless. I've never lostanybody really close to me because I was only close to my father and brother. "I've got nothingleft." I had my brother, and I tried to put on a brave face for him. He was only seven, and Ineeded to make the situation better for him. He was accepting it and I decided to stay back
and grieve. It wasn't fair for him. "You've got me. You've got Steven. And even Peter is here foryou if you need him." I looked back on the times Rosa would visit for christmas and help methrough all of my problems, and she was there for me all the time. I appreciated her help anddecided to give in. "Now, come on preciosa, we're having lasagna. Mmm." I smiled at her andwiped the last of my tears. She handed me a tanned hand and pulled me up.Rosa had dyed her black hair to blonde, which didn't look natural at all with herdark complexion. But it looked alright on her. She liked to dress up and paint her nails, and shelooked ten years younger than thirty. She was younger than my mother by nine years. She wastall and thin with all the right curves. She always wore pink lipstick, nailpolish, and just abouteverything was pink. She was a pink freak. She wasn't as extreme as painting the whole housepink and buying all pink furniture, but it was obvious she was obsessed with the colour.I followed her to the kitchen and she grabbed my plate off of the big white tableto serve me. I smiled at steven and went to sit beside him. "Junie, school's tomorrow!" Hecheered. Oh no. I never thought about school this whole summer. I wasn't ready. I was goinginto the eleventh grade all alone, and grieving this whole summer left me no time to meet anynew friends. "Is that right?" I asked him with fake enthusiasm. He was obviously more excitedthan me. "You'll be fine." Peter put down his fork to stop eating. He must have been trying tomake conversation with me. I stared into his deep brown eyes and stayed silent. I never likedPeter much after he discussed my sanity with Rosa and wanted me to start seeing a therapist.After about a minute of silence, he realized he wasn't getting an answer for me. He cleared histhroat and dug into his meal again. Rosa looked at us with worried eyes and tried to break thetension by soothing me further. "It's alright, the kids here are friendly." She smiled at me, butthe smile never reached her eyes. She handed me my plate and took her seat. She continuedglancing at me every now and then. When she realized the battle wasn't going to go on furthershe dug in herself. The meal remained quiet and I ate fast so I could escape to my room."Night." I said quietly as I made my escape. * * *I was having a nightmare. I was in the school, and I was lost. I kept trying to askpeople for help and directions, but no one would stop for me. No body seen me. I screamed outat everyone. I never felt so alone. "Answer me!" I shouted at everyone that passed. I started torun. I was panicked. What was happening to me? I started to sweat. I stood still in the middleof the hallway when a boy finally caught my attention. "Can you hear me?" I smiled at him.Surely I looked a little hysterical but at least he could see me. But he wasn't answering me.Maybe he never heard me. "Can you hear me!?" I shouted. My smile started to fade. I ranpossibilites through my head. Maybe he was deaf, because he was looking right at me. Idecided to wave at him instead. No response. He began to walk towards me then. A smilespread on his face. I lit up, too. He came closer and I was walking forward too so I could get abetter look at him. His face was blurred, but I knew he was smiling. His thin lips stretched outwide. But it was like his eyes were rubbed out with an eraser. I screamed in terror at the sight,but I couldn't move as he approached me. His muscular build seemed to get bigger and bigger.My feet were glued to the floor. I was panicking, I tried to pry my feet from the floor using myhands but they were glued there. He was centimeters away from me now and I flew my handsover my face. I flinched ready for what was about to happen next. Nothing happened.Confused, I opened my eyes, blinked, and then removed my hands slowly. I looked up to findhe wasn't there, I turned around to find he walked right through me. He had been looking atsomeone else the whole time. He stopped right infront of another girl, who's eyes were justlike his. I screamed out wishing I could fall to my knees and curl up in a ball, but I was glued tomy spot. I screamed again and my eyes fluttered open. I sat up and glanced at the clock on my bedside table. Just in time for my alarm togo off. It was 7:01. I wiped my eyes and yawned. I had a restless night. Before I got up, I
stretched and then threw the covers off of me. I knew Rosa would be making breakfast for me,even though she knew I never ate breakfast. All I wanted was to shower and get ready. I got upbut tripped over something on the floor. I looked down to see a new black jansport backpackwith a little pink bow on it. Rosa, I thought. I laughed to myself. That was sweet of her. I wentto pick it up, wondering what I would put in it. I could borrow some papers and pens fromPeter's office and repay him when I actually go school supply shopping. It was heavy. Rosa,again. She went shopping for me. I opened it to see what was in it. I found many things inthere. Markers, pens, paper- lined
blank. She threw in a couple of folders and aprofessional art book. I was so greatful for Rosa, and her hospitality. I smiled to myself and putmy new stuff down. I walked over to the washroom across from my room and found my clotheslaid out on the floor where I had left them before I went to sleep. I jumped in the hot showerto ease the stress on my back from the restless sleep I had. I took longer than I should have inthe shower, but I needed it. I wanted this year to be different. I didn't want to grieve over myfather today. I didn't want to become invisible like I had this summer. I didn't want whathappened in my dream to happen to me in school."June you're going to be late!" I heard Rosa call from downstairs. "And you missedyour breakfast!" I turned off the water and grabbed a towel. I stood like this for a few secondswhen I heard Rosa call to me again. "Ay Dios, mija! You're going to be late!" She was about tocall again when I opened the door slightly and shouted back, "I'm almost done, I just need tobrush my teeth." I went to close the door to do just what I said, when I remembered her gift tome. "And thanks for the backpack!" I shouted again."Kay. I'm taking steven to school, you're going to have to take the bus, bye." I heard the doorclose. She seemed excited for our first day of school too. Maybe she knew this year would bedifferent. Or maybe she just wanted alone time with Peter, since his business was a homebusiness, all he had to do was sit at the computer until he got called in. I dried myself off,brushed my teeth, put on my clothes, and decided to wear make up to brighten my look. I worea black tank-top with black skinny jeans. I moussed my dark red hair into curls and wore pinkeyeshadow with liquid eyeliner. I didn't want to look like I was attending a funeral. I ran intomy room to find my deoderant and backpack and a stack of bus tickets I found on my bedsidetable last night. I grabbed two and then ran downstairs.* * *The bus service was really slow this morning. I looked at my ipod's time, it wasalmost 9. I began to shift my weight from leg to leg impatiently, letting out a sigh every fewseconds. I stared into the direction where it should have been coming from. I was debatingwhether I should walk or not, but I knew that if I walked the bus would come and I would beeven more late to school. I decided to wait inside the bus stop to get out of the heat. Wearingblack was not a good idea on such a hot day. As I was about to sit down, I noticed the busfinally coming. "Finally!" I whispered loudly.I got on the bus and took my seat in the front so I could get off as quickly as possible.I looked around me. The bus was empty. I knew I was really late. Back in my old neighborhood,the buses were always really crowded in the morning even if you were late. But then again, Ilived in a crowded area, and here wasn't as populated. I almost forgot to press the button asthe bus came closer and closer to my stop. I pressed it quickly, and the bus halted to a quickstop. The bus driver gave me an annoyed expression. I looked away quickly and ran off of thebus. I glanced at my ipod's time again 9:05. Crap. I needed to run so I didn't look so bad on myfirst day.I ran quickly towards the obvious entrance. No body was outside, and I was hopingthe hallways were crowded. I didn't want to be alone, not knowing where to go and having noone there to ask. I slowed down my pace as I reach the glass doors, relieved to find it full of students. I hurried inside. I looked around for someone who didn't look so intimidating to ask

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