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I
S
T
HERE
 
A
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EAL
S
ANTA
C
LAUS
(A
ND
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ONTROVERSIAL
Q
UESTIONS
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I was thinking about my childhood and how I never did ask alot of questions. I was interested in knowing things, but rather than ask, I just quietly observed and listened, especially whenthe grown ups didn’t know I was there. I was thinking that wasprobably because that’s just how I was, a quiet contemplativechild who didn’t bother people with questions. But lookingback, I think I may have started asking questions when I was soyoung that people didn’t take me seriously or believe I wascapable of understanding explanations. So maybe I got dis-couraged early if my questions were met with – “Oh, you’llknow about that stuff when you’re older.”I remember walking past the library in our town. It was an oldscary looking building with basement windows that I thoughtwere intriguing. I came up with a story that the library base-
 
ment was the place where they held secret meetings. Andwhen a child got to be whatever age it was where you wereold enough to know things, you could attend a meeting wherethey told you all the stuff a person might need to know. Likewhere babies came from and what was the religious signific-ance of Halloween and what you were supposed to do if youhad sons, like how would you even potty train them or anythingif you only had sisters and knew nothing at all about boys. (For-tunately, I only had daughters because that library meeting justnever did happen for me.)I had a good childhood actually. Santa Claus brought uspresents, the Easter Bunny brought candy, and when we lostour baby teeth, the tooth fairy put money under our pillows.There were explanations for how Santa could get into houseswithout chimneys and how he knew when we were spendingChristmas Eve at Grandma’s house, but I did eventually get sus-picious about the tooth fairy.Once that tooth fairy jerked my pillow out from under myhead kind of roughly and woke me up. But I pretended I wasstill asleep. And another time I woke up to find my tooth still un-der the pillow and no money. I went to express my disappoint-ment and my dad said he would go back and check. Hecame back and said I had just not looked closely enough be-cause the money certainly was still there. I went to my roomand checked again and sure enough, there was a quarter inplain view where it definitely had not been before.I never did confront my parents about my suspicions andafter awhile, my little sister got old enough that she was aboutto ask questions about whether those generous characterswere actually real or not. I discouraged this, though, and ex-plained that it really would be a shame to ruin our parents’ fun.They did seem to enjoy it so much. I figured we could just hu-mor them for awhile longer. So it wasn’t until my baby sister,who is a full six years younger than me, got to be about too old
 
to believe in Santa Claus, etc that my parents gave up on wait-ing for us to ask the questions and had to just tell us the truthanyway.Sometime later I read something in a magazine that said – when a child is old enough to ask the questions, that’s whenthey are old enough to be given a straight answer. Of course aparent needs to use some discretion concerning the details ondifficult topics. But the basic concept seemed good to me sothat’s how I raised my kids. They got Christmas presents andEaster baskets and money under their pillows for baby teeth,but I didn’t really say much about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. The kids picked that stuff up from theculture and I just went along with it, not saying much one wayor the other. Ok so my heart wasn’t really in it. I remember oneof them saying – “Hey, mom, can I just have my tooth moneynow? I know the ‘tooth fairy’ isn’t going to remember to put itunder my pillow or anything . . .” And the Easter Bunny wouldbring a little candy in time for Easter, but the bunny that cameto our house preferred to bring most of the candy several dayslater when it could be purchased for 75% off.My older daughter asked for a straight answer about SantaClaus when she was 8 years old, just the right age for learningthe truth. So that went well and everyone was pleased. Myyounger daughter, though, was not so cooperative. The year she was 3 years and 10 months at Christmas time, she asked mestraight out if there was a “real” Santa Claus. And true to mypolicy, I told her – no, there was not a real Santa Claus. It was just a pretend thing for fun. I told her that actually parents andother people bought the presents, so it all turned out the samereally; you still ended up with presents, which was the importantthing anyway. But I told her it might be best not to share this in-formation with her friends just in case they might be sad or something. When she came home from daycare that day, shesaid, “I told ‘Patty and Gina’ about no real Santa and they wer-
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Kenosis23

If you like this, check out her new Holiday upload: A Meditation to End Our Year in Peace

reply12 / 14 / 2010
CarlFMaulbeck

that's cool; congratulations on being part of Holiday 2010 Collection

reply12 / 14 / 2010
Rose

. . . And when a child got to be whatever age it was where you were old enough to know things, you could attend a meeting where they told you all the stuff a person might need to know . . .

reply11 / 14 / 2010
Rose

"And the Easter Bunny would bring a little candy in time for Easter, but the bunny that came to our house preferred to bring most of the candy several days later when it could be purchased for 75% off . . ."

reply08 / 13 / 2010
duponthumanite

And also how your daughter found out. The thing is, kids do accept on faith what their trusted ones tell them. And accept what your kids tell you, too, because they are your trusted ones.

reply08 / 03 / 2010
Rose

Yes, I agree. And thanks lots for your comments!

08 / 13 / 2010
duponthumanite

I like the bit about the library and how when you were old enough to know things, you would all gather together and share.

reply08 / 03 / 2010
Rose

This one has a picture now! Thanks lots, Kenosis23, for all your help, as always!

reply06 / 25 / 2010
Rose

I couldn't decide which story to bring to the surface today. Have you read this one?

reply05 / 20 / 2010
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