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Pros and conS of miXed

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express' an apprehensian.i~t"{t . may gradually lead to'3.'~e; society. But does easy;att~snecessariIy pres~e' thatnodDal barriers will come" .iumbling "One need not wait .for mixed .for Opp!-?rtuDl~ will createitapywhere, say~ astudent."AIOfoQt waIl with glass bits 0010p cann'&t stop one. if one is.,determined't do something. I certainly do not deny the fact that there are quite a number of girls confident of their self con:" trol, who can tackle any situation with diplomacy. But their, '~ control' can be interpreted as the result of the traditional socialrestrictions imposed on our wonien. along with the denial of norm'&! interaction between the sexes fOi" generations. No_ That ~oes not give me the right to predict or.pre-

tern.~ch ~er ~:wiI!.beJ.P:~' sheddlDgthelrinhihltitms~e))dO II

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,sume anything. But I only .want ,to I ,insist that we do not close our eyes. to contemporary possibilities. , There are of course some girl$, thouldl small in number; who 'ma.} not shy away from intimate rela-,

tionships. And their views extend into the eventual requirement that they get married. "Ifpastcel-

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ibacyis not a conditionfot a boy10

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cially . in areas where imitation

comes easy. The concept of co-ed' schools, for instance, was once

HAT is 'in' in the West .does not' take long to land on Indian soil, espe-

not much longer after it has' come to be accepted, we have started, 1alking about introducing the mixed dormitory system or 'mixed dorms' in short. ,in college hostels. 'Socialising between the sexes has become so common these days that even an obviously strong friendship between a girl and a boy is casually accepted. 'Having a crush', or 'going steady' or 'having a date' are no longer phrases that lift eyebrows. But they do seem to have eased out the hallowed connotations of words such as 'love' and 'caring'. Try talking about love.to today's teenag~rs,.You will encounter the vast gi11(P$\-een what it meant to yesteJ;day'~generation and what i~bas .~~ to mean to the youth of today. Today's young take it m~ch more casually, regarding it not as something to turn cartwheels over but just as one of the, many IJ,spects that fill a young man or woman's liCe. It suggests that there is a lot more 'Pragmatisni in the youth of tQday. Nor do they payunque&<
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atime

a novel one. And now,

tioning obeisance tb propriety. How then does today's adolescent handle his or her ardour? The response is uninhibited. Attraction to a member of the opposite sex is yielded to without too inuch guilt. And how is that possible without love or any serious commitment to the relationship? "It is possi~le," quips a teenager. "because we do make lo~e, but not "fall in it, like our ancestral cowiterparts did." It also seems true that the more one is used to the company of the opposite sex, the less vulnerable one becomes to these feelings. But where does all this lead to? Will this immunisation against a natural feeling in the early years lead to a withering away of other attachmentsthe family bonds and ties that we 'traditionally inherit? Will it make marital disharmony and divorces as commonplace as in the West? Though these may seem to be the laments of a pessiITIistic old-timer. these doubts do arise when one considers the,need for or the efficacy of mixed dorms in the Indian . context. It is obvious that the idea wiIl be anathema to many parents, while teenagers in all likelihood will respond with their~usual enthusiasm for anything - goods or concepts - that is iQ1port~d.

But are we ready' for mixed dorms? A puritanical approach to the question wiIl not get us very far. Let us view this from the perspectives of each section of those ofus whom the question concerns which includes parents. Looking at this issue from the boy's angle reminds me of a proverb which translates from the vernacular into: "If you sit under a palm tree and say that you are only taking milk. who will believe you?" Boys are, in general. the why-not-take-toddy-itself type. "When something doesn't harm you physically or mentally. if it only relieves you of your tension instead. and when the other person involved also feels so, there is nothing wrong in indulging in inti'macy." is the general attitude of today's boys. "But what about moral considerations ?" you ~k. "Who sets moral standards? To hell with society! We know how to keep our morality." they retort. 5i,ncedifferent people and situations demand different stan-, danis, they hold that it is for one to set his own norms, balancing his integrity and adaptability, of course within the bounds of legality. Though most of the girls also welcome the mixed dorms sys-

marry, why should virginity he.fOt:. .~ girls?" they ask. Perhaps ~ere'iS. ') no shortage of boys who'have:qo double standards and are willlilg to share their future with 'such girls. their numbe.i's being as ,Y:~t
few. ., .

the boys, the girls. and society

B'utwill mixed dorms lead toiocreasing numbers of girlswbo.unshackle themselves. from ti'adi~ tional inhibitions? Will there be an emergence ofliberated boys in equal numbers? Will parepts of this generatioQ handle the situation as it changes. accepting the eventual choice o,fmarriage partner of their offspring, 'no matter whaf the past attitildes of thpyoung entrant into the family? Or will the parents be inOuenced by 'What~11 the age old refrain society say?' This concept wil. neelia r~:volu~'f tionary change in societY's out~ f. look. which may comeabout.only, when the currentgenerati(iD oJ liberated youth take over' ,the. . reins of society, and assume pa.~

rental

status.

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The question

is, is thi~ going fo

help. a .less self~c~nscio1is interaction between the sexes or is it going to lead to anmaway permissiveness in wliich~iIIim~iacy and easy accessibility ,devalue real love. and lasting coriunitments? If we really want to J(oow what will follow, just turn to the West and see wHat is happening there. Is this the kind of progress we are looking for?

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