Article appeared Friday, February 28th, 2014 in The News Today, Bangladesh

The Re elation !"1#$

yousu% &ahbubul 'sla&, (h)

)oes gratitude cost* 'n other words, i% we are grate%ul do we lose so&ething* 'n %act, in the debate, it has e en been as+ed whether gratitude is ethical, To begin, let us loo+ at how gratitude has been de%ined, The dictionary {1} classi%ies gratitude as a feeling - a %eeling o% than+%ulness and appreciation, To help understand the di%%erence between being indebted to so&eone as opposed to being grate%ul, it gi es the %ollowing e.planation, Though they both recogni/e the instru&ental roles others ha e played in our li es, gratitude is di%%erent %ro& indebtedness, Gratitude, which rhy&es with 0attitude,0 co&es %ro& the 1atin word gratus, which &eans 0than+%ul, pleasing,0 2hen you feel gratitude, you3re pleased by what so&eone did %or you and also pleased by the results. 4nli+e indebtedness, you3re not an.ious about ha ing to pay it bac+, But it3s still great to tell the recipient o% your gratitude how &uch they &ean to you, {1} The %eeling o% gratitude there%ore ta+es seed when one is genuinely pleased with someone who has either done so&ething %or you or gi en you so&ething, 5o out o% a %eeling o% gratitude and appreciation you say than+ you %ro& the heart without co&pulsion, To show sincerity, it is best i% gratitude is e.pressed practically, The A&erican poet 6enry 7an )y+e !1882 - 19""$ di ides the aspects o% gratitude into three distinct parts in the %ollowing :uote, Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse. {2} 5o should one be grate%ul and does gratitude cost* Regarding whether one should be grate%ul, an article {3} in the 6u%%ington (ost argues that expressing gratitude is more a matter of ethics rather than of etiquette: 2e o%ten thin+ o% e.pressing gratitude as a &atter o% eti:uette, '% so&eone holds the door open %or you, it3s appropriate to say than+;you, 2hen you3re in ited to a dinner party, the right thing to do a%terward is to send a than+;you note !e;&ail is <,=,> handwritten is better$, 0' appreciate that0 is one appropriate response to a co&pli&ent about your latest success on the ?ob or at ho&e, 6owe er, it would be a &ista+e to reduce the i&portance o% saying than+;you to ?ust good &anners, Funda&entally, e.pressing one3s gratitude is a &atter o% ethics, <ne signi%icant way we do this is by ac+nowledging their help, +indness, or thought%ulness, It's not just rude to fail to honor a debt of gratitude. It's wrong. {3} Being ungrate%ul is there%ore wrong or unethical@ As %or the AcostB o% being grate%ul, the A&erican writer Celody Beattie suggests {4} that, on the contrary, by beco&ing grate%ul, a person reaps huge bene%its, Dratitude unloc+s the %ullness o% li%e, 't turns what we ha e into enough, and &ore, 't turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, con%usion to clarity, 't can turn a &eal into a %east, a house into a ho&e, a stranger into a %riend, {4} Dratitude there%ore helps us appreciate the richness o% the li%e that we are accusto&ed to - it helps us appreciate the alue o% the li%e that we are li ing, %eeling and en?oying, Another A&erican writer )enis 2aitley e.plains that it is gratitude that ulti&ately leads to happiness, Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. {5} 5o what should one be grate%ul %or* And to who& should we be grate%ul* The Eatholic spiritual writer, poet and social acti ist Tho&as Certon !1918 - 19F8$ gi es an answer, To be grate%ul is to recogni/e the 1o e o% Dod in e erything 6e has gi en us ; and 6e has gi en us e erything, G ery breath we draw is a gi%t o% 6is lo e, e ery &o&ent o% e.istence is a grace, %or it brings with it i&&ense graces %ro& 6i&, Dratitude there%ore

ta+es nothing %or granted, is ne er unresponsi e, is constantly awa+ening to new wonder and to praise o% the goodness o% Dod, For the grate%ul person +nows that Dod is good, not by hearsay but by e.perience, And that is what &a+es all the di%%erence, {6} An appreciation that li%e is a gi%t should pro&ote a %eeling o% gratitude, 5ubse:uently gi ing than+s would de&onstrate belie% in the Ereator@ <n the other hand, an ungrate%ul person &ay not gi e appropriate weight to the 5ource o% li%e, 6eHshe &ay approach the Ereator only when in trouble, 5uch a person &ay not than+ the Ereator when the trouble is o er, 'n the &ost recent Re elation, the IurJan, our Ereator, classi%ies ungrate%ul people as un%aith%ul as they concentrate on blessings rather than de&onstrating gratitude to the Ereator, i.e. blessings are &ore i&portant than the Ereator, As both grate%ul and ungrate%ul persons &ay be part o% the sa&e %a&ily, the Ereator is as+ing belie ers, i.e. grate%ul persons not to rely on ungrate%ul persons to ta+e charge o% their a%%airs,

9.23 O, you who believe! Take not you !athe "# o you b othe # a# allie# o $ ote%to # i! they love in!i&elity above !aith' i! any o! you &o #o, they &o w on(. 9.24 )ay' *! it be that you !athe #, you #on#, you b othe #, you +ate# o you kin& e&, the wealth that you have (aine&, the %o++e %e in whi%h you !ea a &e%line, o the &wellin(# in whi%h you &eli(ht a e &ea e to you than -llah o .i# -$o#tle o the #t ivin( in .i# %au#e, then wait until -llah b in(# about .i# &e%i#ion' an& -llah (ui&e# not the ebelliou#.
't is the Ereator who has created the relationships %or us and gi en all that we ha e, 5hould we constantly busy oursel es with 6is blessings without de&onstrating gratitude* To test our %aith, in our day;to;day li es, Allah creates situations that &ay cause %ear, 6owe er, in the subse:uent 7erse, Allah gi es e.a&ples showing that 6is 6elp is always near %or those who trust 6i&,

9.25 -##u e&ly -llah &i& hel$ you in +any battle!iel&# an& on the &ay o! .unayn' when you ( eat nu+be # $lea#e& you, but they availe& you nau(ht' the lan& !o you #ee+e& li+ite& in #$ite o! it# va#tne## an& you tu ne& ba%k in et eat.
Allah gi es an e.a&ple o% what happened at the Battle o% 6unayn !F"0 A)$ where (rophet Cuha&&adJs %orce was three ti&es as large as the ene&y, )espite this, the (rophetJs %orces %led %ro& the battle %ield, Faced with i&&inent de%eat, Allah ga e cal& to the (rophet and %inally ga e decisi e ictory to hi& and those with hi&,

9.26 Then -llah #ent &own .i# t an/uility u$on .i# 0e##en(e an& on the believe # an& #ent &own !o %e#, whi%h you #aw not, an& $uni#he& tho#e who &i#believe&' thus does He reward those without faith.
Thus, on the contrary, ingratitude &ay pro e costly, 't is better to turn to the Ereator, appreciate what 6e has done %or us and than+ 6i&,

9.21 Then will -llah a%%e$t e$entan%e a!te thi# tu n !o who+ .e will#' !o -llah i# O!t23o (ivin( 0o#t 0e %i!ul.
;;;;; {4ote#}K {1} httpKHHwww, ocabulary,co&HdictionaryHgratitude {2} httpKHHwww,brainy:uote,co&H:uotesH:uotesHhHhenry andy4029#0,ht&l {3} httpKHHwww,hu%%ingtonpost,co&H200#H08H1#Hgratitude;&ore;a;&atter;oLnLF0818,ht&l {4} httpKHHwww,brainy:uote,co&H:uotesH:uotesH&H&elodybeat1##949,ht&l {5} httpKHHwww,brainy:uote,co&H:uotesH:uotesHdHdeniswaitl14F92",ht&l {6} httpKHHwww,goodreads,co&H:uotesHtagHgratitude