Suicides now and hardly any then

February 28, 2014 There have been a spate of schoolgirl suicides and fingers of accusation pointed this way and that, even at Facebook The !ational "hild #rotection $uthority %!"#$& rushed in where it should have taken ti'e before taking the drastic step of arresting a #rincipal because he had scolded a girl and she co''itted suicide That has caused a ru'pus The principal should not have been arrested so fast since the case should have been delved into and then the drastic action taken, if it was really necessary $ person such as a #rincipal of a school should be given due respect (e saw on T) protests by teachers and principals and the vowing that they, in future, would not discipline the children in their schools *od forbid+ Things are already out of hand in schools, how would it be if all teachers and principals take no notice of studentsbehaviour .ne has to balance 'atters and consider the fact that young girls are i'pulsive, prone to pri'a donna behaviour / even the si'plest of rural girls 0any fro' si'pler ho'es are also highly e'otional in this country of ours They are usually 'ollycoddled 1u'ari finds that the !"#$ under its lady director sees red where it should only discern pink and act with circu'spection 2ou 'ay not recall the incident, but 1u'ari re'e'bers what a ru'pus this $uthority caused over a book on personal and fa'ily health distributed to young children in a reputed international school The sword of 3a'ocles, in this case, the wrath and punish'ent of the !ational "hild #rotection $uthority, was threatened on the school only because a disgruntled parent reported the 'atter to the !"#$ The book was a reco''ended te4t in 5ritain and was totally inoffensive in its dealing with the hu'an body and its functions, including se4 5ut what a fuss the $uthority 'ade, unknowingly perhaps, playing into the co'plainer-s hands, since he wanted to avenge the school, for asking hi' to re'ove his incorrigible student son

(isely, even govern'ent voices have co'e up against banning Facebook and other electronic and newer devices, cell phones included Facebook is not guilty of causing suicides, it is children-s inability to cope with situations that result in dire conse6uences, the worst being a young one taking his or her life

7epri'anding by teachers or principals should not drive a student to suicide, but it does once in

a while *ranted the repri'anding 'ay have been too severe in the case we are speaking about and the child was disgraced and very disturbed 5ut this is where other issues co'e in, 'ore to bla'e than the scolding itself The child had no support syste' at ho'e 0aybe the 'other is out of the country earning dinars or whatever 0aybe the father is a heavy drinker and wo'ani8er and thus dishar'ony in the ho'e is the order of the day, %'ore the night& $nd the school has no counsellor, nor are teachers willing or able to give 'ore than tuition to the children They are supposed to be the 'others of their classroo' children 5ut they have their own troubles and thus are too busy or unconcerned to notice a student behaving erratically, beco'ing withdrawn, obviously having a proble'

The status 6uo to bla'e 9ere 1u'ari co'es in with her finger pointing very definitely at the econo'ics of the country, at the difficulties, fa'ilies face, 'others 'ore especially to keep their children fed, clothed and protected oft:ti'es fro' the father hi'self 9ow can she have the ti'e, peace and steadiness of 'ind, to care for the e'otional wellbeing of her children, especially teenagers; Thus 1u'ari-s finger points to the govern'ent as standing guilty of causing suicide in our youth <t has failed society since it has failed to give people a sound ground to stand on #eople are so buffeted contending with the ever rising cost of everything that they are harried (here is the chance for the' to see' cal' and ready to give co'fort to their children; 1u'ari is certain drugs too have to share the bla'e =ither a girl-s boyfriend is on drugs or her father or brother, which situation unbalances her *overn'ent is to bla'e here too, in the drug proble'

$ccusing fingers have pointed at the 'edia / a very convenient whipping horse !ewspapers supposedly ro'antici8e suicide and thus it beco'es a fad and fashion !onsense on both counts+ < don-t know about the Sinhala papers where the language or the Sinhala writer is prone to slanting towards sensationalis' and e'otion:rousing The reportage in the =nglish newspapers has been 'ere reporting and certainly not encouraging suicide as praiseworthy 'artyrdo' or a fashion to follow !ot at all+ 7eporting by newspapers should raise alar' bells and have school principals and teachers and parents particularly, beco'ing 'ore vigilant, 'ore understanding, 'ore concerned and 'ore proactive in 'aking children believe they are not alone in the troubles they face "annot you re'e'ber how a 'inor incident in your youth was such a 'a>or e'otional upheaval that you felt it was the end of the world; So silly, hypersensitive children 'ake a co'paratively 'inor troublous situation an e4cuse to end their lives

Suicide in teenagers and young adults is co''on in ?apan and, as a South 1orean told 'e, in that country too fro' recent ti'es <t-s a universal pheno'enon and varies in intensity in different countries Sri @anka had for a while the dubious honour of topping the list of 'ost suicides (e fell down considerably but now see' to be on the rise again in this deplorable situation

Then Say fifty years ago, suicide was e4tre'ely rare and a young one in the better strata of society never ended her life *irls were protected, chaperoned heavily and were cared for not only by 'others but by the e4tended fa'ily Fathers were in the 'a>ority te'perate in all facets of their behaviour Fa'ilies were large and thus young persons who were 'ost vulnerable to e'otional upheavals, had wide safety nets The worst that happened to a girl was she got pregnant !ot such a cri'e in villages since they were considerably laisse8 faire 'orally 2ou 'ight have had, very infre6uently, a girl ->u'ping into a well- hopefully rescued before what happened to darling "le'entine in the song happened to her *irls fro' 'iddle and upper class ho'es >ust could not get pregnant unless they were 'iraculous conceptions+ So supervised were they

Argent action needed (e as a nation cannot resort to the two stands were usually take, over troubling issuesB point fingers bla'ing others or be co'placent and 'outh the e4cuse it happens everywhere (e 'ust prevent suicides fro' happening in this country of ours $nd how do we do that; 5y being vigilant This does not 'ean we spy on children, especially teenagers and young adults, but we have our eye on the' 9ere 'others and teachers are in the forefront with others behind the' The govern'ent should ban wo'en fro' going for e'ploy'ent to foreign countries unless they have totally co'petent caregivers for their children with no danger to the' fro' hapless fathers and preying 'en relatives This is easier said than done because of two reasons, both to be placed at the doorstep of the govern'ent Firstly fa'ilies find it so very difficult to live and have to eternally scrape and scri'p Thus wo'en eye the pot of gold in the 0iddle =astern deserts and 'ost bring back suffering to the'selves and their children The govern'ent 'ust i'prove the lot of the people in general Secondly, the govern'ent gets it 'a>or portion of foreign e4change fro' the earnings of these wo'en They, the workers, enable the e4travagant living of those in power, the huge "abinet and posh cars and all that So will the goose that lays the golden egg for the' be killed because of the suffering of the geese in foreign e'ploy'ent and the goslings left deserted back ho'e; !ot in this de'ocratic

socialist country of ours !*.s, te'ples and churches, the govern'ent, do:gooders, whoever, should conduct awareness progra's for adults so they know how to tackle children in the correct way and also give the' support and the sense of the' being available for help and co'fort 9ere the !ational "hild #rotection $uthority has useful work cut out for it They should take the lead in this awareness creation

#rincipals and teachers should co'pulsorily have refresher courses in child psychology the correct approach to discipline and a 'ore concerned attitude to the children in their care be instilled in the' Suicides will continue occurring, but at least if the very sad situation of young adults and teenagers taking their own lives is reduced, it would be a 'ercy @ife is so precious and it is a definite cri'e to throw it away carelessly 1u'ari