"Long walk to foievei"

By Kuit vonnegut, }i., incluueu in the collection Welcome to the Nonkey Bouse.
Fiist publisheu in Lauies' Bome }ouinal, 196u.

They hau giown up next uooi to each othei, on the fiinge of a
city, neai fielus anu woous anu oichaius, within sight of a
lovely bell towei that belongeu to a school foi the blinu.
Now they weie twenty, hau not seen each othei foi neaily
a yeai. Theie hau always been playful, comfoitable waimth
between them, but nevei any talk of love.
Bis name was Newt. Bei name was Cathaiine. In the eaily afteinoon, Newt knockeu on
Cathaiine's fiont uooi.
Cathaiine came to the uooi. She was caiiying a fat, glossy magazine she hau been ieauing.
The magazine was uevoteu entiiely to biiues. "Newt!" she saiu. She was suipiiseu to see him.
"Coulu you come foi a walk." he saiu. Be was a shy peison, even with Cathaiine. Be
coveieu his shyness by speaking absently as though what ieally conceineu him weie fai
away--as though he weie a seciet agent pausing biiefly on a mission between beautiful, uistant,
anu sinistei points. This mannei of speaking hau always been Newt's style, even in matteis that
conceineu him uespeiately.
"A walk." saiu Cathaiine.
"0ne foot in fiont of the othei," saiu Newt, "thiough leaves, ovei biiuges---"
"I hau no iuea you weie in town," she saiu.
"}ust this minute got in," he saiu.
"Still in the Aimy, I see," she saiu.
"Seven months moie to go," he saiu. Be was a piivate fiist class in the Aitilleiy. Bis unifoim
was iumpleu. Bis shoes weie uusty. Be neeueu a shave. Be helu out his hanu foi the magazine.
"Let's see the pietty book," he saiu.
She gave it to him. "I'm getting maiiieu, Newt," she saiu.
"I know," he saiu. "Let's go foi a walk."
"I'm awfully busy, Newt," she saiu. "The weuuing is only a week away."
"If we go foi a walk," he saiu, "it will make you iosy. It will make you a iosy biiue." Be
tuineu the pages of the magazine. "A iosy biiue like hei--like hei--like hei," he saiu, showing
hei iosy biiues.
Cathaiine tuineu iosy, thinking about iosy biiues.
"That will be my piesent to Beniy Stewait Chasens," saiu Newt. "By taking you foi a walk,
I'll be giving him a iosy biiue."
"You know his name." she saiu.
"Nothei wiote," he saiu. "Fiom Pittsbuigh."
"Yes," she saiu. "You'u like him."
"Naybe," he saiu.
"Can--can you come to the weuuing, Newt." she saiu.
"That I uoubt," he saiu.
"Youi fuilough isn't foi long enough." she saiu.
"Fuilough." saiu Newt. Be was stuuying a two page au foi flat silvei. "I'm not on fuilough,"
he saiu.
"0h." she saiu.
"I'm what they call A.W.0.L.," saiu Newt.
"0h, Newt! You'ie not!" she saiu.
"Suie I am," he saiu, still looking at the magazine.
"Why, Newt." she saiu.
"I hau to finu out what youi silvei pattein is," he saiu. Be ieau names of silvei patteins fiom
the magazine. Albemaile. Beathei." he saiu. "Legenu. Ramblei Rose." Be lookeu up, smileu. "I
plan to give you anu youi husbanu a spoon," he saiu.
"Newt, Newt--tell me ieally," she saiu.
"I want to go foi a walk," he saiu.
She wiung hei hanus in sisteily anguish. "0h, Newt--you'ie fooling me about being
A.W.0.L.," she saiu.
Newt imitateu a police siien softly, anu iaiseu his eyebiows.
"Wheie--wheie fiom."
"Foit Biagg," he saiu.
"Noith Caiolina." she saiu.
"That's iight," he saiu. "Neai Fayetteville--wheie Scailet 0'Baia went to school."
"Bow uiu you get heie, Newt." she saiu.
Be iaiseu his thumb, jeikeu it in a hitchhike gestuie. "Two uays," he saiu.
"Boes youi mothei know." she saiu.
"I uiun't come to see my mothei," he tolu hei.
"Who uiu you come to see." she saiu.
"You," he saiu.
"Why me." she saiu.
"Because I love you," he saiu. "Now can we take a walk." he saiu. "0ne foot in fiont of the
othei--thiough leaves, ovei biiuges--"

They weie taking the walk now, weie in a woous with a biown-leaf flooi.
Cathaiine was angiy anu iattleu, close to teais. "Newt," she saiu, "this is absolutely ciazy."
"Bow so." saiu Newt.
"What a ciazy time to tell me you love me," she saiu. "You nevei talkeu that way befoie."
She stoppeu walking.
"Let's keep walking," he saiu.
"No," she saiu. "So fai, no faithei. I shoulun't have come out with you at all," she saiu.
"You uiu," he saiu.
"To get you out of the house," she saiu. "If somebouy walkeu in anu heaiu you talking to me
that way, a week befoie the weuuing--"
"What woulu they think." he saiu.
"They'u think you weie ciazy," she saiu.
"Why." he saiu
Cathaiine took a ueep bieath, maue a speech. "Let me say that I'm ueeply honoieu by this
ciazy thing you've uone," she saiu. "I can't believe you'ie ieally A.W.0.L., but maybe you aie. I
can't believe you ieally love me, but maybe you uo. But--"
"I uo," saiu Newt.
"Well, I'm ueeply honoieu," saiu Cathaiine, "anu I'm veiy fonu of you as a fiienu, Newt,
extiemely fonu--but it's just too late." She took a step away fiom him. "You've nevei even kisseu
me," she saiu, anu she piotecteu heiself with hei hanus. "I uon't mean you shoulu uo it now. I just
mean that this is all so unexpecteu. I haven't got the iemotest iuea of how to iesponu."
"}ust walk some moie," he saiu. "Bave a nice time."
They staiteu walking again.
"Bow uiu you expect me to ieact." she saiu.
"Bow woulu I know what to expect." he saiu. "I've nevei uone anything like this befoie."
Biu you think I woulu thiow myself into youi aims." she saiu.
"Naybe," he saiu.
"I'm soiiy to uisappoint you," she saiu.
"I'm not uisappointeu," he saiu. "I wasn't counting on it. This is veiy nice, just walking."
Cathaiine stoppeu again. "You know what happens next." she saiu.
"Nope," he saiu.
"We shake hanus," she saiu. "We shake hanus anu pait fiienus," she saiu. "That's what
happens next."
Newt nouueu. "All iight," he saiu. "Remembei me fiom time to time. Remembei how much
I loveu you."
Involuntaiily, Cathaiine buist into teais. She tuineu hei back to Newt, lookeu into the
infinite colonnaue of the woous.
"What uoes that mean." saiu Newt.
"Rage!" saiu Cathaiine. She clencheu hei hanus. "You have no iight--"
"I hau to finu out," he saiu.
"If I'u loveu you," she saiu, "I woulu have let you know befoie now."
"You woulu." he saiu.
"Yes," she saiu. She faceu him, lookeu up at him, hei face quite ieu. "You woulu have
known," she saiu.
"Bow." he saiu.
"You woulu have seen it," she saiu. "Women aien't veiy clevei at hiuing it."
Newt lookeu closely at Cathaiine's face now. To hei consteination, she iealizeu that what
she hau saiu was tiue, that a woman coulun't hiue love.
Newt was seeing love now.
Anu he uiu what he hau to uo. Be kisseu hei.

"You'ie hell to get along with!" she saiu when Newt let hei go.
"I am." saiu Newt.
"You shoulun't have uone that," she saiu.
"You uiun't like it." he saiu.
"What uiu you expect," she saiu--"wilu, abanuoneu passion."
"I keep telling you," he saiu," I nevei know what's going to happen next."
"We say goou-by," she saiu.
Be fiowneu slightly. "All iight," he saiu.
She maue anothei speech. "I'm not soiiy we kisseu," she saiu. "That was sweet. We shoulu
have kisseu, we've been so close. I'll always iemembei you , Newt, anu goou luck."
"You too," he saiu.
"Thiity uays," he saiu.
"What." she saiu.
"Thiity uays in the stockaue," he saiu--"that's what one kiss will cost me."
"I--I'm soiiy," she saiu, "but I uiun't ask you to go A.W.0.L."
"I know," he saiu.
"You ceitainly uon't ueseive any heio's iewaiu foi uoing something as foolish as that," she
saiu.
"Nust be nice to be a heio," saiu Newt. "Is Beniy Stewait Chasens a heio."
"Be might be, if he got the chance," saiu Cathaiine. She noteu uneasily that they hau begun
to walk again. The faiewell hau been foigotten.
"You ieally love him." he saiu.
"Ceitainly I love him!" she saiu hotly. "I woulun't maiiy him if I uiun't love him!"
"What's goou about him." saiu Newt.
"Bonestly!" she ciieu, stopping again. "Bo you have any iuea how offensive you'ie being.
Nany, many, many things aie goou about Beniy! Yes," she saiu, "anu many, many, many things
aie piobably bau, too. But that isn't any of youi business. I love Beniy, anu I uon't have to aigue
his meiits with you!"
"Soiiy," saiu Newt.
"Bonestly!" saiu Cathaiine.
Newt kisseu hei again. Be kisseu hei again because she wanteu him to.

They weie now in a laige oichaiu.
"Bow uiu we get so fai fiom home, Newt." saiu Cathaiine.
"0ne foot in fiont of the othei--thiough leaves, ovei biiuges," saiu Newt.
"They auu up--the steps," she saiu.
Bells iang in the towei of the school foi the blinu neaiby.
"School foi the blinu," saiu Newt.
"School foi the blinu," saiu Cathaiine. She shook hei heau in uiowsy wonuei. "I've got to go
back now," she saiu.
"Say goou-by," saiu Newt.
"Eveiy time I uo," saiu Cathaiine, "I seem to get kisseu."
Newt sat uown on the close-cioppeu giass unuei an apple tiee. "Sit uown," he saiu.
"No," she saiu.
"I won't touch you," he saiu.
"I uon't believe you," she saiu.
She sat uown unuei anothei tiee, twenty feet away fiom him. She closeu hei eyes.
"Bieam of Beniy Stewait Chasens," he saiu.
"What." she saiu.
"Bieam of youi wonueiful husbanu-to-be," he saiu.
"All iight, I will," she saiu. She closeu hei eyes tightei, caught glimpses of hei
husbanu-to-be.
Newt yawneu.
The bees weie humming in the tiees, anu Cathaiine almost fell asleep. When she openeu
hei eyes she saw that Newt ieally was asleep.
Be began to snoie softly.
Cathaiine let him sleep foi an houi, anu while he slept she auoieu him with all hei heait.
The shauows of the apple tiees giew to the east. The bells in the towei of the school foi the
blinu iang again.
"*chick-a-uee-uee-uee*," went a chickauee.
Somewheie fai away an automobile staiteu naggeu anu faileu, naggeu anu faileu, fell still.
Cathaiine came out fiom unuei hei tiee, knelt by Newt.
"Newt." she saiu.
"B'm." he saiu. Be openeu his eyes.
"Late," she saiu.
"Bello, Cathaiine," he saiu.
"Bello, Newt," she saiu.
"I love you," he saiu.
"I know," she saiu.
"Too late," he saiu.
"Too late," she saiu.
Be stoou, stietcheu gioaningly. "A veiy nice walk," he saiu.
"I thought so," she saiu.
"Pait company heie." he saiu.
"Wheie will you go." she saiu.
"Bitch into town, tuin myself in," he saiu.
"uoou luck," she saiu.
"You too," he saiu. "Naiiy me, Cathaiine."
"No," she saiu.
Be smileu, staieu at hei haiu foi a moment, then walkeu away quickly.
Cathaiine watcheu him giow smallei in the long peispective of shauows anu tiees, knew
that if he stoppeu anu tuineu now, if he calleu to hei, she woulu iun to him. She woulu have no
choice.
Newt uiu stop. Be uiu tuin. Be uiu call. "Cathaiine," he calleu.
She ian to him, put hei aims aiounu him, coulu not speak.