Living in Liberty

By Diana Waring
Freedom in relationshipsthe amazing impact freedom brings to relationshipsthats where
we are going in this column, but we have to start with a brief history lesson from Russia.
When we talk about a family living in liberty,! "uestions inevitably arise concerning parental
or even churchauthority. #o, before the "uestions begin, consider a real$life e%ample of
what can happen when authority and freedom collide outside the bounds of love.
&n the '())s, an ancient political theory known as anarchyan absence of government and
the absolute freedom of the individual!became popular, especially in Russia. *elieving that
authority and freedom could not peacefully coe%ist, and given the brutal conditions of life
under the tsar, many Russian anarchists chose to use violence against rulers in their
attempt to gain political freedom during an authoritarian age. &t is fascinating to note that
the tutor of +sar ,le%ander &&& viewed the Western form of political liberty -defined as free
from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on ones way of life, behavior, or political
views!. as dangerous/
'
+he end result of the rising tensions between individuals and groups
who were seeking freedom! and authoritarian rulers who were keeping control! of the
masses was the destabilization of Russia, a ma0or factor in the overthrow of the tsar and the
success of the 1ctober Revolution by communists in '2'3.
,ssuming that you do not reign as a tsar in your home, your children are probably not going
to seek the absolute freedom of anarchy/ 1n the other hand, if your children are born free
and running wild,! will they discover the safety and 0oy that come from a *iblical model of
parental authority4 +he challenge we each face is to discover the middle ground5
appropriate liberty for our children with an appropriate authority for us as their parents
and to develop both of these with ' 6orinthians '7$style love.
+o help with the discovery process, heres a bit of our storylessons learned in the
homeschool of hard knocks.! ,s a young parent, having never been around children much,
& was astonished by all the ways my kids could find to upset my apple cart. From
accidentally breaking a hand$thrown bowl -my one victory in a semester of learning how to
use a potters wheel. to intentionally leaving a mess in the kitchen, from arguing over
whose turn it was to sit in the front seat to criticizing each others singing, the number of
things that could go wrong when kids were involved was mind$boggling. #o, being the mom
in a mess, & decided that what my kids needed were rules/ 8ots of them . . . rules for every
common condition and every potential problem. &f they invented a new mistake outside the
current set of rules, & would "uickly invent a new rule in hopes of covering every trouble and
circumstance.
& was actually starting to feel good, en0oying the sense of being in control through
enforcement of my limitless lists of rules. 9y children, however, were not feeling as good. &n
fact, they were being increasingly wrapped up in a strait0acket as & added new rules at every
turn5 From now on, you must always . . . ! and From now on, you will never again . . . !
and :urry up/! and #low down/! etc., etc., etc.
&m not sure how they would have actually made it to adulthood if my husband had not
wisely stepped in to deal with the situation as it was getting out of hand. *eing a man of
few words, *ill simply looked at me one day and said, ;iana, too many rules.!
:uh4!
+oo many rules.!
&m not getting it. ;o you mean to say a person can have too many rules44444!
Well, according to <alatians =5'>, there is really only one rule we actually need for life5
8ove each other.!
&t was too simple. 6ould love actually be the one and only, the rule to cover every situation,
circumstance, difficulty, disagreement4 9uch to my amazement, as we began talking
through the concept of putting love into practice and addressing the issues & was facing in
parentingand our children began learning to put love into practice with each other, not
only to solve problems now but to learn how to handle life as adults& discovered that it
was, in fact, the only rule that we actually needed.
& had to look at the children as persons made in <ods image, not as crowds to be
controlled? as my dear ones, not as anarchists. Which is more relational, to scream #low
down and dont be so clumsy/! or to suggest When we deal with precious things, there is a
carefulness we need5 me for your stuff and you for other peoples stuff!4 +he freedom is in
learning to love, and learning to love gives rise to care for others and the things others care
about.
Rules that come from truth without grace harshly demand, ;ont touch pottery/ ;ont
touch/! +hose kinds of rules give birth to resistance and defiance. When the "uestion What
have you done4! is yelled with anger, the answer is hard to find. 8iving in liberty asks, with
kindness in ones heart, Were you being careful and looking for a loving way to do things4!
When the "uestion is asked with the fruit of the #pirit, the answer can more easily be
voiced. What we will discover over time is that using our freedom to love is powerful.
When & have shared this story at homeschool conventions, often someone raises the
"uestion of whether or not we had rules governing what time our kids went to bed and
whether they brushed their teeth. 1f course we had practices in place for everyday life. *ut
what had been my ever$growing set of rules for handling conflict and resolving troubles was
wisely replaced by the 1ne Rule for human relationships5 8ove your neighbor as yourself.
@ndnote5
Aenneth #cott 8atourette. 6hristianity in a Revolutionary ,ge, Bolume &&, 9ichigan5
Condervan, '2=2, page >='.
Diana Waring, author of Beyond Survival, Reaping the Harvest, and History
Revealed curriculum, discovered years ago that the key to education is relationship.
Beginning in the 80s, Diana homeschooled her children through high schoolproviding
the reallife opportunities to learn ho! kids learn. "entored #y educators !hose focus
!as to honor $im !ho created all learners, and !ith an international #ackground
%#orn in &ermany, B. '. in (rench), Diana has #een enthusiastically received #y audiences
on four continents.
6opyright D)'D, used with permission. ,ll rights reserved by author. 1riginally appeared in
the Eune D)'D issue of *he +ld ,choolhouse- "aga.ine, the family education magazine.
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