Late Judge Ziglar, loved to tell the story of the fellow who went next door to borrow his
neighbor's lawn mower. The neighbor explained that he could not let him use the
mower because all the flights had been canceled from New York to Los Angeles.
The borrower asked him what canceled flights from New York to Los Angeles had to do
with borrowing his lawn mower. "It doesn't have anything to do with it, but if I don't want
to let you use my lawn mower, one excuse is as good as another."
Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you,
Grandpa?" "Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little
girl asked him, "Did God make me too? "Yes, He did," the grandpa answered. For a few
minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in a
small mirror. Her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she
spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."
It was a small town and the Catholic Priest, the Protestant Minister and the Jewish Rabbi
were very good friends. Of course, there was a lot of kidding and joking between them all
To their surprise one year, the Priest and the Minister received a Christmas card from the
Rabbi. It read:
Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish When the Messiah really comes You'll wish you were
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the oper-
ating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery,
the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy
tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of
it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on
her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I
thought you said I had another 40 years?"
God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
Albert Tomei is a justice of the New York State Supreme Court. A young defendant was convicted in Judge Tomei's court of gunning down another person execution-style. The mur- derer had a bad record, was no stranger to the system, and only stared in anger as the jury returned its guilty verdict.
The victim's family had attended every day of the two-week trial. On the day of sentenc- ing, the victim's mother and grandmother addressed the court. When they spoke, neither addressed the jury. Both spoke directly to the murderer. They both forgave him.
"You broke the Golden Rule--loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind. You broke the law--loving your neighbor as yourself. I am your neighbor," the older of the two women told him, "so you have my address. If you want to write, I'll write you back. I sat in this trial for two weeks, and for the last sixteen months I tried to hate you. But you know what? I could not hate you. I feel sorry for you because you made a wrong choice."
Judge Tomei writes: "For the first time since the trial began, the defendant's eyes lost their laser force and appeared to surrender to a life force that only a mother can generate: nurturing, unconditional love. After the grandmother finished, I looked at the defendant. His head was hanging low. There was no more swagger, no more stare. The destructive and evil forces within him collapsed helplessly before this remarkable display of humaneness."
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