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Marriage, the PC(USA), and Christs Ambassadors

by Joshua L.F. Bower
Delivered August 24, 2014
First Presbyterian Church, Whiteville, NC

God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting peoples sins
against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are
therefore Christs ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.
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Thats a pretty big deal. God is pulling this entire world back together in Jesus Christ,
and its up to us to preach that message and live it out. Thats tough to do in the easiest
of times. And these are not the easiest of times. In our denomination, the Presbyterian
Church (U.S.A.), were right smack in the middle of whats easily the toughest time
weve been through in my lifetimemaybe one of the toughest ever. As you know by
now, our PCUSA General Assembly that met back in June made some decisions that got
people talking. They voted to allow our pastors and sessions to perform same-gender
marriages in states where those marriages are legal, and approved changing the definition
of marriage in the Book of Order from a woman and a man to two people. (That
change has to be approved by a majority of presbyteries to take effect). But either way,
its clear the direction the PCUSAs moving. This has led some folks to start asking
where these decisions came from: what does the PCUSA believe about the Bible, what
does it believe about Jesus? And then the next set of questions comes: what do we do?
Do we stay? Do we go? Do we just pretend it never happened? Given that these
questions are being asked, its time I shared some about where I stand, where I think our

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2 Corinthians 5:19-20a
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church stands, and at least give you just some reflections on how we can start thinking
about being Christs ambassadors in these times.
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For me, everything starts and ends with Jesusmy personal faith, how I live my
lifeit all comes from my belief that Jesus is the Son of God, the Messiah, who lived
and died for all people and launched Gods kingdom. Put another way: Jesus is Savior
and Lord, the way to the Father.
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From that I believe that the Bible is the inspired word
of God written.
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And so I do my best to interpret the Bible as carefully as I can and live
it out as passionately as I can. Its my understanding that Gods ideal for marriage is for
a woman and a man to be in a lifelong, monogamous, covenant relationship. And any
sexual activity outside of that covenant of marriagewhether its between people of
opposite genders or the same gendermisses the mark of Gods ideal. And thats the
biblical definition of sin: missing the mark of Gods ideal. I dont just believe this
because of the 6 or so passages that are always rolled out to condemn homosexuality.
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No. I mean, theres more to it than that. If you look at the entire [story of the

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Ive used a sermon by Greg Boyd to structure some parts of the rest of this sermon: Gregory A.
Boyd, Gay Marriage Amendment (sermon, St. Paul, MN, October 21, 2012),
www.reknew.org/2012/10/homosexuality-and-the-church-finding-a-third-way/.
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Some have asked about Presbyterian pastors who affirm that Jesus is the way but add the
statement, But who am I to say that God in his sovereignty doesnt have other ways to get to him?
I believe that Jesus is THE way, but Im not willing to put anyone beyond Gods ability to save. What I
mean is, for instance, What about the child who is radicalized at a young age and taught that he
needs to die for jihad or something of the like. I hold out the belief that God, in his loving
sovereignty, can connect Jesus and that child. So, I believe there may be circumstances where Jesus is
the way for someone who may not have had the opportunity, because of circumstances beyond their
control, to follow the pattern we assume in the West: (1) hear the gospel proclaimed to them, (2)
repent of their sins, (3) confess Jesus as Lord, and (4) live for him in this life.
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For a more detailed reasoning of how belief in Jesus leads to belief in the Bible being the sinpired
word of God written, see Gregory A. Boyd, Benefit of the Doubt: Breaking the Idol of Certainty (Grand
Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2013), 164.
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usually some combination of Genesis 19:1-13; Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Matthew 19:1-6; Romans
1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; and 1 Timothy 1:10. There are many interpretations of these verses
that say they dont condemn modern same-gender sexual unions, and while I tend to agree with some
of these revisionist interpretations (particularly Genesis 19 and Leviticus 18+22), I find the
interpretations of most of the New Testament texts to be unconvincing. I will keep on studying all
thats written, though!
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Bible]male-plus-female [faithfulness in] marriage is a sign [that points to] the
goodness of the original creation and [to] Gods intention [to create] a new heaven and a
new earth.
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The good creation starts in Genesis 1 with opposites working together for
goodheaven and earth, sea and dry land, finally male and female. And the last scene in
the Bible
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is the new heaven and new earth, and the symbol for that is the marriage of
Christ and his bride, the church. So marriage in Christian theology is about Gods
goodness and faithfulness and where creation is headed. Ive studied and prayed and
labored over this and discussed it with colleagues and beaten myself up over it and
wrestled with it for sleepless nights, sometimes even hoping and praying to God that I
would have this big whammy and wake up a same-gender marriage advocate so I could
fit in better in a culture thats clearly headed in that direction, so I could be on the right
side of history as people say, so I wouldnt be called a bigot in the national media, so I
wouldnt be so uncomfortable around some of my closest friends, and so I would know
exactly what Id do if my son or daughter has a same-sex orientation.
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And I know the
church has changed its mind on things it was certain the Bible said in the past,
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like

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N.T. Wright, N.T. Wright Argues Against Homosexuality, interview with Frank Viola posted on The
Deeper Journey Blog, June 22, 2014,
www.patheos.com/blogs/frankviola/ntwrightonsamesexmarriage/. Wright goes deeper into this in
his book Scripture and the Authority of God: How to Read the Bible Today (New York: HarperOne,
2011), 175-195.
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Revelation 21. Also, Ephesians 5:21-32 illustrates this marriage.
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I included these things to give a window into my state of mind and personal struggles with coming
to what I believe about marriage, not to validate any of these arguments. I dont agree at all that
because someone thinks the church should be allowed not to marry same-sex couples because of
their religious convictions that this makes them bigoted. And while I would love to be on the right
side of history (who wouldnt?), thats not a very strong foundation for ones beliefs. Now, my
children expressing a same-gender sexual orientationI continue to wrestle with that question and
pray over it intensely.
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Although most folks on the traditional side of things will be quick to say that our current debate and
the debate over slavery are not the sameand theyre notI still found this point fascinating, The
Bible contains no fewer than 326 references to slavery. All but two of themeither condone slavery
or assume that it was a given part of the social structure. Yet today, no one needs to be convinced
that slavery is utterly opposed to Gods intention, and that opposition to slavery was and is a
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ordaining womenand can you imagine a world where my wife couldnt be a pastor?
But, even with all this going on in my mind and my heart, I still arrive at the same
conclusion. And so I disagree with the decisions of the General Assembly regarding
marriage. Im not comfortable with the direction the PCUSA is going on marriage. I feel
like were missing the mark. Those are my personal beliefs about Jesus, the Bible, and
marriage. Those have also been the beliefs of First Presbyterian throughout its existence.
But having said all that, I have to say this: a few weeks ago we talked about the
Corinthian church and people who had all the right knowledge but they were using that
knowledge to break down the Body of Christ, and the truth is only any good if you use it
to build up the Body.
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You can be right and still be wrong if you use your rightness to
condemn others. And Im afraid thats happening in the church in America. The church
has always preached that we are all sinners, that all of us miss the mark. But it feels
like theres this hierarchy of sins, and sexual sins are at the top of the list, and same-sex
sins are at the very top. And theres this feel that the church is like some sort of holy
club and that were always talking about whats going on out there, how we need to
fight against all the evil in the world, as if were not a part of any of the things
happening around us. That just doesnt make much sense to me when I know that some
of the things the Bible denounces most emphatically as sin are some of the things were

compelling biblical mandate. But in the middle of the nineteenth century, Christians could argue that
the tradition of the church, the clear witness of Scripture, and even their human experience (if they
were not slaves) all convinced them that slavery was ordained by God. Wesley Granberg-
Michaelson, forward to Bible, Gender, Sexuality: Reframing the Churchs Debate on Same-Sex
Relationships, by James V. Brownson (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company,
2013), x. The point is not that theyre the same, but that the church in our current time needs to
wrestle with why we changed our view in the past and why we will/will not change now. Because
weve never done it this way is a terrible reason not to change. Because weve changed before isnt
good enough to change, though. We must go deeper. Im told this Brownson book is the it book for
a biblical case for same-sex relationships. Ive made it to page 60 so I cant speak to how good a case
it is yet.
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see 1 Cor. 8
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most guilty of. The Bible calls divorce and remarriage a sinexcept in the case of
sexual immorality. If what I said I believe is trueif all sexual activity outside of
marriage is wrongwhat about living together before youre married? How many of us
have cast our children off or even had a conversation with them if they choose to do that?
The Bible condemns having more than you need when there are people who have less
than they need. It calls eating more than your fill when there are people starving a sin.
Our entire Western economy is built on what the Bible calls the sin of loaning money at
interest.
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Every one of us misses that mark every day just by living in our country!
Greed and neglecting the poor are mentioned literally thousands of times in the Bible, but
nobody in the church is told they cant be a Christian if theyre rich or stingy or because
they do any of these other things. But same-gender relationships? Deal-breaker, the sin
of all sins; youre going to hell on a greased skateboard. My point isnt to say,
Everybody whos divorced and remarried, get thee out! or to tell you all to be poor!
There are times when, by Gods grace, divorce is the right thing to do; and just being
poor wont help feed poor people. My point is to ask, Why are the sins that most of us
in the church are committing mostly ignored or even accepted, but the sins very few of us
are committing are lifted up as the worst? Why are we so good at confessing other
peoples sins, but so bad at admitting our own?
And this makes even less sense when there are so many verses in the Bible, the
New Testament especially, that absolutely condemn the sin of judging others, and

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for instance, see Exodus 22:25-27; Deuteronomy 15:1-11; Deuteronomy 23:19-20; Matthew 5:38-
42; Luke 6:30, 35. Youll see that in ancient Israel charging foreigners interest was allowed, but
charging fellow Israelites was prohibited. Jesus, though, strengthens the command so that were to
give freely even to our enemies. Notice also that these commands against charging interest were
intended, at least in the Old Testament, to safeguard the poor.
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slandering others, and gossiping about others, and accusing others.
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There was a group
in Jesus time that was really, really good at doing this: the Pharisees and experts in the
law. Jesus said, You experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with
burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves wont lift one finger to help them.
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So often, sadly, in my experience the people who are the best at pointing out other
peoples sin and holding it against them in our culture are Christians! I once had a
conversation with a fellow Christian pastor who listed off from memory a list of my
friends who needed to be confronted about their sin because he knew their salvation was
in jeopardy. I got the impression from listening to him that he was pretty sure his
salvation was just fine. If you really care about them, youll call them out. You dont
want to be the one who sends them to hell. No, but it seems you dont have any
problem with that! It was the height of religious arrogance! And how on earth does this
square with Jesus teaching that passing judgment on others is like trying to take a dust
speck out of their eye while a 2x4 hangs out of yours?
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Or with Pauls words in
Romans, Youhave no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at
whatever point you judge another, youre condemning yourself, because youdo the
same things?
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Whywhen a group of young non-Christians were asked to pick from a

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see Matt. 7:1-2; Luke 6:37; Rom. 2:1-3; 14:4; 1 Cor. 4:5; 5:12-13; James 4:12 for judging alone.
Strongs Strongest NIV Exhaustive Concordance lists 27 references for slander, and 10 for
gossip.
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Luke 11:46
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Matthew 7:1-5
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Romans 2:1. Id point out that this may be particularly appropriate to the subject of this sermon:
these words are part of the same portion of Pauls letter to the Romans where he speaks against
same-sex marriage.
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list of 10 positive and 10 negative images to describe Christianitywhy did 87% of them
pick judgmental?
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It just seems like somewhere along the way we missed the mark!
But what does that have to do with the situation in the PCUSA? Well, I guess Im
trying to say that theres a lot more going on here than figuring out whos right and whos
wrong. There are a lot more questions to be answered than the ones weve been willing
to ask up to this point. Weve been willing to ask about them out there; we need to
look inside ourselves, too. Before we can even think about a response to the
denomination or start writing statements of belief on any number of issues that we agree
or disagree with the General Assembly onbefore any of that happens we have to ask
ourselves the deeper questions: Who are we? What kind of Christians are we gonna be?
What kind of church are we gonna to be? Like most questions, I think the best way to
start is to look at Jesus. How did he answer this question? Jesus was the only sinless
person this world has ever seen, and yet he was known for welcoming sinners: tax
collectors, prostitutes. And somebody will say, But he held to his convictions about
what sin was! Exactly! He never once wavered about what was sinful or not, ever! He
was completely holy and righteous, and his accepting sinners as they were lifted up his
righteousness, it showed how righteous he was; it didnt make him any less holy, it
showed how holy he was! He never changed his definition of anything and yet he still
attracted all the sinners, because he loved them first. Phariseesback then and today
demand that you get yourself right then theyll accept you, then you get to be part of their
group. Jesus did just the opposite: before anybody had done anything to deserve it he
called themFollow meand as they followed Jesus they learned what righteousness

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see David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons, unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks About
Christianityand Why It Matters (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2012).
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was and their lives were transformed to look more and more like their holy Savior. But
didnt Paul point out peoples sins? Cast the sinner out from among you,
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right? Yep,
he did. Paul pointed out the sin of the people hed lived with, worked with, suffered
with, lived and died with for years. He was talking to people inside the church, his
covenant brothers and sisters who had agreed to walk the path of faith together and had
agreed to have Paul as their teacher. These were people already on the way together,
working to make each other more and more Christlike, building each other up in holiness.
It was not insiders accusing strangers and holding their sins against them. No, Jesus
sets the pattern here. He met people where they were as they were and invited them to
share his life, and they learned on the way how to live that life. And then he sent them
out to share his life theyd learned with the world. There were no preconditions:
remember, While we were still sinners Christ died for us.
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And were back to the
teaching of Paul that started this whole sermon off: God was reconciling the world to
himself in Christ, not counting peoples sins against them. And he has committed to us
the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christs ambassadors, as though God
were making his appeal through us. Greg Boyd says, Our job is to leave all judgment

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1 Corinthians 5:13. Pauls actually quoting from Deuteronomy here. But even if you might be
inclined to believe this gives us free license to judge people, check out the verses before this one (vv.
9-12): I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral peoplenot at all meaning
the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you
would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone
who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a
drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people. What business is it of mine to judge those
outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? Soits clear that Pauls talking about
discipline inside the church, and these are not standards that are randomly applied to all people.
Church discipline is to be applied to those people who are part of the church. And, if you wanted to
push it and say that Paul gives us permission to cast out sexually immoral people, I would encourage
you to be fair and discuss how you plan to discipline the greedy, gossipy/slander-y, and those who
drink too much in your church as well. Not saying it shouldnt be done, just that we need to think
big picture here if were honoring all of the passage.
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Romans 5:6-8
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to God. Why? Because were ministers of reconciliation. Our job is to never hold
anyones sin against them and just trust that God will do that. Thats Gods business.
Our job, then, is to manifest the character of our king, and to [show were Christians] by
how we love and serve gay folks and straight folks, tall folks and short folks, skinny folks
and robust folks, brown-haired and blonde-haired folks, how we love Democrats and
Republicans and [capitalists] and socialists, atheists, believers, Mormons. Our job is to
love: love folks who are paroled, love folks who are nice, love folks who are greedy, love
folks who give generously, love folks who cheat and steal, love folks who swear, just
love folksall people in all times in all situations, no ifs, ands, buts, exceptions, or
anything. Just LOVE! [Do what Paul said in Ephesians,] Follow Gods exampleand
walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.
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Thats
your job.
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So where does this leave us? Well, I think the first thing we need to do is breathe.
Its time to stand together and take a long, deep breath, and take a long, humble look at
who weve beenas Christians as a whole and as a local churchto admit our own
faults where we find them, where weve missed the mark. Then we start thinking about
who we want to be, how were going to grow into the likeness of our Savior, what it
means to love like he loved. I have no idea where thatll end up in relation to whats
going on in the denomination. I know itll start with careful and thorough study of all of
these things by our elders; itll have to include study and conversations in the
congregation, asking some tough questions about our who we are, figuring out what
divides us and what unites us. Thats what itll take to move past the black-and-white

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Ephesians 5:1-2
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Boyd, Gay Marriage Amendment.
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options of either changing your definition of biblical truth or treating a whole group of
people like 2
nd
-rate outsiders who will always be just that: outsiders. Theres a better
way;
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I dont know exactly what that will look like but Jesus demands that we seek it
out, that we keep looking at him and living for him because God is making his appeal
through us!
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We cant restwe must not restuntil were living this better way out as
well as we can in this life. And theres no rush. Theres this sense of urgency out there
that we need to do something, say something, be something right this second! Its just
not true. Theres no deadline. We can breathe, relax, and have these conversations with
cooler heads, more thoughtful minds, in a way that shows that we love God and love all
those he created.
Ill close by reiterating my feelings about you all and this church. Ill use Pauls
words: Ive said before that you have such a place in my heart that I would live or die
with you. Ive spoken to you with great frankness; I take great pride in you. I am greatly
encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds.
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There is nothing in this
world that could shake my conviction that Im called to this church in this community for

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Another way to put this is that Im looking for a third way in this debate. The hot-headed calls of
Youre either for us or youre against us and a persons belief on all of this being the litmus test for
either your faithfulness on one side or your love on another have been damaging to me personally
and, I believe, are unhealthy for the church and our witness.
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Love this but couldnt fit it in the sermon: Jesuss first followers believed not only that he was
truly alive again but that he had, as it were, gone through death and out the other side, leading the
way into a new mode of being in which the power of love would defeat the love of power, in which
creation and beauty would win out over death and decay, and in which God would become present to
people of every shape and type, offering healing and reconciliation, a new start, a new life, a new way
of life. Sometimes, in science as in history, a great leap forward to a fresh hypothesis happens when
you put a new element in the middle of the picture and discover that all the jumbled pieces come
together in a new and coherent way. Thats what its like when you put Jesus in the middle. Because
its Jesus, it doesnt all happen at once. He wants us to grow up and take responsibility, to think it
through, to be learners, disciples, not mute followers. But because its Jesus, he offers and provides
the strength and courage that enable us to believe, to learn, and to join in his project of healing and
hope. And love. N.T. Wright, Idolatry 2.0, in Surprised by Scripture: Engaging Contemporary
Issues, N.T Wright (New York: HarperOne, 2014), 161-162.
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2 Corinthians 7:3b-4
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this moment. And nothing can shake my conviction that those of you who are here now
are called to this church in this community for this moment. God intends for us to be
here together, where we are, shining his light into our community. And together, united
in our love for Jesus and striving to live as his disciples, there is no storm we cant
weather, no mountain we cant climb, no hurting person we cant reach with Gods
unending love in Christ. Im proudIm honoredto stand with you and serve
alongside you, and I cant wait to see what God does with this amazing group of
disciples. Amen.
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Two books Ive also found helpful in thinking through these issues are Wesley Hills Washed and
Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan,
2010) and Justin Lees Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate (New York:
Jericho Books, 2012). Both authors are gay men reflecting on their personal stories and struggles
and interacting with Scripture, giving how they came to their (different) conclusions. Hill argues for
celibacy and Lee allows for same-sex sexual relationships. The power, though, isnt in their biblical
exegesis, but in how they share their stories with such vulnerability.