My 2 Cents

A Wife Worth More Than Rubies

By Bob and Donna Benson

In our society today marriage and the position of the wife is distorted from the Biblical
ideal. Even in some Christian circles, the position of the wife is secondary and beneath her
husband. However, Proverbs 31 makes it clear that a Godly wife is more valuable than rubies,
pearls and other precious stones.

Jesus taught we are all equal in the family of God. There is no male or female, no slave or
free; women should embrace their position within the family as equal to their husbands, but
different. In other words, we are to walk side by side with our husbands within the marriage, but
we have different jobs within the marriage. We know that the husband is the head of the
household. There is no question about this. Scripture is very clear on this. However, this does
not mean we are less important or treated as second class within the marriage. The fact is a
husband should treasure his wife because a Godly wife is more valuable than anything else in his
life. However, this is a look at wives not husbands so we will not address that in this article.

So how do we become a Godly wife, worth more than rubies? (A Ruby Wife) Let us look
at Proverbs 31 to find our answer.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (AMP)

10
A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman—who is he who can find her? She is far more
precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.
11
The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so
that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil.
12
She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.
13
She seeks out wool and flax and works with willing hands [to develop it].
14
She is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs; she brings her household’s food from a
far [country].
15
She rises while it is yet night and gets [spiritual] food for her household and assigns her maids
their tasks.
16
She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not
courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and
strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard.
17
She girds herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task]
and makes her arms strong and firm.
18
She tastes and sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is good; her lamp goes not out,
but it burns on continually through the night [of trouble, privation, or sorrow, warning away
fear, doubt, and distrust].
19
She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20
She opens her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [whether in
body, mind, or spirit].
21
She fears not the snow for her family, for all her household are doubly clothed in scarlet.
22
She makes for herself coverlets, cushions, and rugs of tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure
and fine, and of purple [such as that of which the clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths
of the temple were made].
23
Her husband is known in the [city’s] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
24
She makes fine linen garments and leads others to buy them; she delivers to the merchants
girdles [or sashes that free one up for service].
25
Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over
the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for
it]!
26
She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness
[giving counsel and instruction].
27
She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent,
and self-pity) she will not eat.
28
Her children rise up and call her blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied); and her
husband boasts of and praises her, [saying],
29
any daughters have done virtuously, nobly, and well [with the strength of character that is
steadfast in goodness], but you excel them all.
30
Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman
who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!
31
Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates [of the city]!

We see that a wife is supportive of her husband, his confidant, he trusts her. She works
hard to provide a good home for her family. Whether she works outside the home or not, her first
priority is to see to the welfare of her family. The money she earns is for the improvement of the
home. She reflects well on her husband. They are co-laborers in maintaining the prosperity of the
family.

As a wife of a husband I love and adore…and I have learned to differ to him when we
disagree, but I always give him my opinion. I will admit that this was not always so. In our
younger years, when we disagreed I would dig my heals in. I am ashamed to say acted like a two
year old. If I did not get my way I would pout, cry, whatever…sometimes he would give in
others he would not. There were times when I felt much abused. The truth was I was spoiled! As
I got older and learned my place in the family…the place God put me; I finally relaxed and
realized I did not always know “the better way” just a different way. I realized that my husband
loves me and wants what makes me happy. When it does not matter one way or the other to him,
we do it my way. When he has a definite idea, he listens but if he thinks his way is better, we do
it his way. This works for us. Sometimes things do not work out, but we have learned not to say,
“I told you so” well, mostly! More importantly, my husband will answer to God for the decisions
made for our family. If he does things my way and it goes wrong…he has to answer for it. If he
does things his way and they go wrong…he has to answer for it. Either way, the husband is
responsible before God. Personally, I want God to look favorably on my husband and the
decisions he makes so it is important to let him make the final decision. That is not to say I am
off the hook. I believe God will make me answer for my actions…whether I supported the
decision or threw a fit.
 I believe that it is the wife’s place to run the household. She is responsible to making sure
meals are prepared, groceries purchased, and cleaning done. This does not mean the husband
does not have household responsibilities. He should have chores. Agreed upon in advance the
household duties need to be divided. If the husband works and the wife is a home mom, she
should carry the bulk of the jobs. However, if they both work outside the house, household jobs
need to be divided more equally. Men should not figure just because he is a man he does not
have to do anything, that would be self-centered on his part and place an unfair burden on his
wife.

Note in the scripture the wife saves! In our society, we are an instant gratification society.
We want everything right now. We run up our charge cards and put ourselves into debt. This is
not God’s best for us. Sure, he wants us to have nice things, but not to go into debt to get them.
We should save for the things we want. I believe every Christian home should live on a budget.
Money is the major problems within marriages. (We will go into this in another article.)

I believe a woman should decorate her house and make it a home that reflects her
personality and that of her family. She should keep her home clean and things in order as much
as possible. Small children need to learn to help clean and put away their toys and belongings. I
have seen fathers under mind their wives in this area. “They are just kids; they should not have to
do all that?” It is very important for children to learn responsibility in the area of cleaning and
taking care of their things. Our children reflect on our families. If they are respectful and kind, it
reflects well on the teachings of the parents. We must teach our children at home the morals we
want them to live by. We cannot leave this to schools or churches.

Another trait of a Godly wife is care toward others. A ruby wife loves others, she does
not gossip or speak out of turn, and she gives of her time and ability for the good of others. These
traits reflect well on her husband. Our society is very self focused and this reflects in our
families. As Christians, we need to be others focused. We need to be thoughtful of others and
how our words and actions will affect them. We are Christ’s representatives in our communities.
We should spread his love and goodness to others. In other words, “It is not all about you and
your family; it is about Jesus and his love for others and what you can do to show that love to
others.”

All and all, you can be a Ruby Wife! Walk with Jesus day by day, allow his Spirit to flow
from you to others, and love your husband and place him right after Jesus in your life. The key is
action. Show him your love! Actions speak louder than words!