MOTHER MIRRORA FLASH OF INSIGHT IN A REFLECTION...THE FACE OF MY MOTHER IN AN OPPOSITE...A PARALLELISM YET AN ENERGY OF ATTRACTION AS BROWS, CHIN, LIPS, EYES, NOSE , DISPLAYSOMETHING UNIMAGINED...SOMETHING OF A WOMAN OF COMPLEX PSYCHE STATES ENMESHED IN BELIEFS AND TENETS OF INERTIA.A MOMENT OF AFFECT AS 'SHE' LEFT 'WITHIN ME' AND TEMPORARILY 'FORMED' IN A ZONE'ACROSS' FROM ME...IT OCCURRED IN A PSYCHE RELEASE...A VISUAL ECHO RIGHT BEFOREMY EYES...SHE WAS IN MY PRESENCE NOT AS A 'PROJECTION' BUT AN 'ENERGY INTERSECTION'...I COULD SEE HER ANGST IN A 'CERTAINTY OF BELIEF' IN A 'FAITH MEDIATION' OF'TREASURED LOSS'...THE WOUNDS AND RAGES OF HAVING BEEN 'WRONGED'...SOMETHING INMY VISION ALTERED AS I SAW MY MOTHER IN A MOTHER MIRROR.IT WAS IN A GUILTINESS MOMENT THAT WAS 'OUT OF BALANCE'... A STREAMING IN 'EMOTIONALITY TIMBRE' OF THE 'LOST CHILD' THAT DID NOT SURVIVE BEYOND A BRIEF BREATHOF SPRING...THE 'CHILD' THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN...THE 'CHILD' OF 'SHOCK' THAT DID NOT SURVIVE...THE CHILD THAT NEVER REALIZED HUMAN...THE 'CHILD' THAT BECAME AN 'INVISIBLE FORCE' THAT 'NO ONE' COULD BIRTH OUT OF THE 'NOTHINGNESS'...THE 'INVISIBLE CHILD' FILLING THE ABSENCE...THE EMPTINESS...THE INVISIBLE CHILD OF BURDEN...THE INVISIBLE FORCE IN 'OWNERSHIP' OF HER INNER RIVER OF SORROW...FOR NO ONE COULD SHARE THE SORROW OF THIS 'LOSS'...THE SEEING INTO THE 'MOTHER MIRROR'...SEEING THE AFFECTS OF THE DEPTHS OF 'POWERLESSNESS' TO COUNTER THE 'SHAME' AND 'GUILT' OF 'NOT BEING WORTH IT' OR 'NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH'...FOR SHE SEEMED 'HEART DISHEARTENED' IN HAVING DONE EVERYTHINGIN ACCORD WITH EXPECTANCY AND STILL THE DARKNESS AND DEADNESS OF HER DEPTHS DEFINED...THE COMPENSATORY JOURNEY...THE READJUSTMENTS AND RECRYSTALLIZATIONS TO COUNTER THE EXPECTANCY OF NOT GOOD ENOUGH AND IMPERFECT STATES...A SEEKING OUT OF 'WINNING A PRIZE' WITHOUT REALIZING THAT THE GAME WAS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT SHE HAD ORGANIZED HERSELF FOR...IT WAS A BETRAYAL OF SELF AS THE SHOCK DROVE HER TO FLIGHT IN THE VANISHING AWAYFROM ALL THAT HAD BEEN CONSTRUCTED...A PHOENIX BIRD RISING OUT OF THE ASHES DRAMA-HOPE THAT A RECONSTITUTION WOULD FACILITATE A COURSE BEYOND THE OLD ORDERINGRUNNING ITS COURSE.FOR THE 'LOST CHILD' THAT IS HER CREATIVE WITHDRAWAL FROM THE SURFACE...THE DISTANCING INTO A 'ROLE' OF SAVANT-PERFECTION AS 'ENDURANCE' OF A 'STATE' OF 'PERFECT 'K...THE PERFECT 'K AS IN THE CHINESE SYMBOL OF 'FIRE'...THE CHILD OF THE MARRY 'K' WAY OF THE ESSENCE OF THE CHINESE CHARACTER OF FIRE...FOR THE WILL TO GIVE BIRTH IN BECOMING HOPE OUT OF ASHES... A DRIVE OF A VULNERABLE '6TH' SENSING ECHOING INTO THE MARRY 'K' IN THE 'END LETTER' OF THE MAGICKOF 'PAT TRICK' IN A SAINT CHASE[CHASTE' VIRGINAL] SACRED BELIEF PURITY OF WHO CAN GET THE KINWEBBED 'SNAKES OUT OF 'IRE' LAND...THE SAINT PATRICK OF ESCAPE FROMSLAVERY AND 'A' 'L' CO-HAUL ISMS AND 'FIREWATERS OF FORGETTINGS...A REALISM OFHONESTY TO GUIDE 'THE DEEP SEATED' REARING 'TROUBLES' INTO REDEMPTION...IT IS THE MOTHER MIRROR DRAMA...THE CONTROL OF OUTCOMES IN THE EROS TRAGEDIES OFDIONYSIAN BLINDNESS...THE WINE AND VINE IN CRAZE AND CRAVE...THE CUINGS OF THESOUNDS OF INERTIA AND ONE AT A TIME AWAKENINGS...THE MOTHER MIRROR OF GENERATINGA PATH BEYOND 'SUGGESTION TRANCEROS' AND DREAM REVERIES...IT IS IN HER UNCONSCIOUSNESS 'FOSTERING' AS THE GODDESS OF ACOUSTICAL RESONANCE'SENSAMORA' DEMANDING THE AGGRESSIONS OF PENETRATIONS OF THE 'MAD THUD IN THE MESS THIS' YET THWARTING AND PACIFYING THE VERY THING ONE NEEDS AND WANTS...
IT IS THE POWERLESSNESS IN NOT GOOD ENOUGH THAT RESULTS IN 'SUCCESSFUL ORGASM' MAY NOT BE WHAT IS DESIRED AS THE IMAGE MAKING TO BUTTRESS THE FORTRESSED SELF'OF MEDIATION REQUIRES THAT 'HIS IRE' BECOME GREATER THAN 'HER ANGER'...IT IS THE INNER TURMOIL OF 'CONTROL' IN MEDIATION INERTIA THAT FUELS THE WALLINGS OF DENIAL OF HER OWN RIGHT TO THRIVE. IT IS THE PRISON OF THE PSYCHE THAT KEEPS HER WHERE THE NEEDS AND DEMANDS OF OTHERS BECOME HER SERVITUDE TO THE 'VERSIONOF SELF' SHE IS ABLE TO 'LIVE WITH'...IT IS 'MOTHER MIRROR' NOT AS THE 'BEAUTY PRINCESS TRAPPED IN THE CASTLE OF THE EVIL QUEEN' BUT 'MOTHER MIRROR' AS FORTRESSING AGAINST THE 'HEAVY PRESSURES OF MAINTAINING THE 'MYTHS' OF HERITAGE...THE PRICE OF THE LOSS OF SOUL IN NOT SURRENDERING TO THE REAL FEELINGS OF WHAT SEEKS TO EMERGE...THE INABILITY TO SURRENDERTO HER REAL NEEDS...THE TRAGEDY OF THE 'UNLIVED' MOVES ACROSS THE TEASE AND TEMPTATION TIMES...THE GLIMPSE OF A MOTHER MIRROR MOMENT OF A DREAM PERMEATES IN ECHOIC DEATH TONES OF 'TAKING LIFE IN LIVING LIFE'...FOR THE INNER HUNGERS AND NEGLECT COMPRESSIONS SQUEEZE THE VITALITY OF ONE'S REAL LIFE WITHIN AS WOMB BATTLES... IT IS AVAILABLEAND UNAVAILABLE AS THE FOETUS DEFINES IN AN IMPOSITION FROM WITHIN...I SEE IN THE MOTHER MIRROR THE REACTIVITY AGAINST EARLY HARM IN HER INTERIORITYDISTANCING 'WHERE' NO ONE COULD 'GET TO HER'. THE DEEP 'INNER CHILD' OF NOT FEELING LOVED ENOUGH...YET, THIS 'INNER CHILD' AS A 'WOMAN-CHILD' WITH A 'WOUNDED WOMB' COULD NOT EASILY FIND A 'PATH' OF 'LABOR' TO CRAWL OUT OF HER OWN 'SPACE'-WOMB...FOR MEDIATION WAS FORCED ON HER AND HEART WAS NOT THE MEANS TO OBTAIN SUSTENANCE...THE TYRANNY OF BEING SENT TO A 'ROOM'...'ANOTHER PLACE' WAS 'NOT OF HER OWN CHOICE'...FOR SHE DID NOT UNDERSTAND THAT SHE WAS 'WOUNDED' IN CROSSCURRENTS ANDWAYS THAT WERE FAR BEYOND THE COMPREHENSION OF HER SOUL.SO HER JOURNEY OF REDEMPTION LED HER THROUGH MANY MEANS OF 'KNOWING' WHAT WAS 'ESSENTIAL' UNTIL SHE BECAME STRONG ENOUGH TO ESCAPE FROM ENSLAVEMENT'... SOMEHOWSHE HAD TO GENERATE THE THE INTENSITY-DENSITY' PRESSURES 'AKIN' TO HER 'ORIGINS'TO MOVE 'IN A DISTANCING' FROM 'ORIGINS' TO OWN HER OWN SOUL...FOR REAL DESIREIS DISTANCE FROM ORIGINS AND AS LONG AS ONE IS ENMESHED IN THE 'DA-MA' DRAMAS ONE IS NOT IN TRUTH OF URGENCY...THE MOTHER MIRROR IS A VISUAL ECHO EMBRACING A 'BRAVE HEART' TEMPERING OF 'TRUTHOF URGENCY' AND A 'YIN NESTING' QUEST FOR ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE...A RESTORATION OF 'PURITY' AS A RHYTHM TO OWN AN INNER UNTARNISHED SACRED PLACE...IT IS FANTASYIN A REGRESSION THAT SEEKS TO DENY, FORGET AND ERASE...IT IS ONLY IN BREATHING THROUGH THE WOUND OR THE TREASURED LOSS THAT ONE ACTUALLY CLEANSES AND PURIFIES AND IS ABLE TO TRULY LIVE AND IF NECESSARY 'FORGIVE'...THE MOTHER MIRROR CALLS FORTH THE 'NOT GOOD ENOUGH' SENSES IN THE SHAME CONSCIOUSNESS IN 'SORROWS' AND 'PAIN' OF LABORING RHYTHMS...THE SPLITTINGS WITHIN IN THEFIBROUS 'CONSTRUCTIONS OF COMPLIANCES'...THE CONFUSIONS AND CONFLICTS OF WHAT IS ABSENT FROM WHERE IT WORKS BEST...FOR IMPOSITION AND DUTY SUFFOCATE THE REALSENSES...FOR 'GOING ALONG' ALTERS THE BIRTHING PROCESS IN A 'POWER SEEKING' ANDCONTROL THAT MAKES UP OR 'COMPENSATES' FOR THE KNOWING OF 'SOMETHING' THAT IS 'NOT RIGHT'...THE MOTHER MIRROR DISPLAYS HER SOUL IN EYES OF HEART VULNERABILITY...IT IS HOW FAR ONE MUST GO TO ENCOUNTER THE 'INNER CHILD' HIDING IN THE DEPTHS...THE ZONE OFVIGILANCE AND POWER SEEKING TO COUNTER FEELINGS OF 'INCOMPLETENESS' AND 'LACK OF SUSTENANCE'...IT IS THE 'PIVOT' PLACE IN THE FIRE OF THE 'K WHERE ONE MUST COME FORTH AND FACE THE PRESENT. IT IS THE FIRE 'K' IN THE 'BAY BE' SILENCES OF MED
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MOTHER MIRROR
AWARENESS ESSAY IN REFLECTIVENESS
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