My Limericks

A new collection of nonsense

Since the day I saw what limericks were (Thanks to Javier

Aguirre Ortiz and his classes of Mass Media) I started to
create my owns. Soon, I discovered that I had found my
second vocation (He he). Here you have my own
collection of limericks, this is the second edition of the
document that I uploaded before, so I include the
previous limericks too!

- Michael Contreras Giha

May the 14th, 2010
 Limericks
By: Michael Contreras Giha

>>> What are Limericks?

Limericks have remained popular over the years. Limerick poems can often be of a funny or even a
bawdy, or dirty, subject. Due to the location of Limerick in Ireland the Irish Limericks are often
found to be the most popular.

Limericks consist of five anapestic lines.

Lines 1, 2, and 5 of Limericks have seven to ten syllables and rhyme with one another
(Anyway, sometimes I consciously omit this rule).
Lines 3 and 4 of Limericks have five to seven syllables and also rhyme with each other.

The word derives from the Irish town of Limerick. Apparently a pub song or tavern chorus based
on the refrain "Will you come up to Limerick?" where, of course, such bawdy songs or 'Limericks'
were sung.

Now we have reviewed what limericks are. Here you have some of the limericks that I have
created. Almost all my limericks were made thinking in a real person, that makes them
funnier.

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There was a blond girl whose sneeze,
Was the weirdest that people could see,
Everytime that she did it,
All were in agreement,
In how weird was the blond girl's sneeze!
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There was a nice teacher of English,

And I was her student some time,
When I called her 'Miss Carmen'
She told me 'Firefighter'
And we always started to laugh!
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There was a cute girl with a humor,

That was changing and weird like a rumor!
Everytime she was angry,
'Let's see' was her warning,
which calmed down the cute girl with bad humor!
----------------------------------------

2
 There was a nice girl in a class,
That appeared to be always angry,
When I told her 'You are grumpy'
She said 'Not a harpy'
That amazing nice girl of my class...
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There was a small man that in Chile,

Had a conduct that was always greedy,
Every time he saw food,
He started to chew,
Which disgusted the people in Chile!
----------------------------------------

There was a fat man used to bother,

And repeat the whole day 'Hello brother',
If you committed a mistake,
He gave you a headache,
Which delighted the fat man used to bother!

----------------------------------------

There was a tall man with a beard,

That was as long and black as his hair,
He did not like the meat,
and at times could not see,
For his face that was full with his hair!
----------------------------------------

There was a nice girl in whose heart,

Love was always an important part,
If she saw any guy,
Was all day in her eye,
Which brought joy to her passionate heart!
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There was a strong man with a skill,

To produce a huge burp that might kill,
Could be heard by all town,
Or a building break down,
Which scared the people around!

3
 ----------------------------------------

There was a strange man very lazy,

And in fact he was also a bit crazy,
He did not like to help,
All days wanted to rest,
Which made happy the man who was lazy!
----------------------------------------

There was a dark girl in whose eyes,

A pure anger was waiting to arise,
If you gave her a peck,
She could break your whole neck,
Which delighted the dark girl with those eyes!
----------------------------------------

There was a fat man with a smell,

That was as stinky as hell,
If you were far or close,
He could burn your whole nose,
Which made laugh the fat man with the smell!
----------------------------------------

There was a small teacher in Chile,

Whose classes were boring and silly,
All students were sleeping,
And at times were not breathing,
For how boring was that teacher in Chile!
----------------------------------------

There was a thin girl in whose clothes,

You could see how outrageous she was,
When she walked in the street,
People used to believe,
That she needed to change her odd clothes!
----------------------------------------

There was a drunk man used to speak,

To the air when he was in the street,
When all people around,
Saw him acting they frown,
What did not stop the man used to speak!

4
 ----------------------------------------

There was an old man with a habit,

To behave the whole day like a bandit,
If you showed your good manners,
He warn you with a hammer,
You old envious man with your habit!
----------------------------------------

There was a fat man out a store,

Used to obstruct the whole day the main door,
When a customer tried,
He always replied,
'You will have to stay out the store!'
----------------------------------------

There was a nice lady whose laugh,

Sounded almost the same like a calf,
All day could she be amused,
Which made all be confused,
For how weird was the sound of her laugh!
----------------------------------------

There was an old person whose breath,

Was so bad that could horrify death,
If you were really close,
People said 'That poor nose!'
And escaped from that terrible breath!
----------------------------------------

There was a cute dog used to bark,

In a funny way to a drunk,
Everytime he was close,
He walked really slow,
To disturb the cute dog used to bark!
----------------------------------------

There was a teacher of Mass Media,

Who believed his pupils were hyenas,
He did not like the light,
So he damaged the eyes,
Of the students that were in Mass Media!

5
 ----------------------------------------

There was an old man with a nose,

That was so long that hit all his toes,
When he tried to explain,
His nose went down again,
And made cry the old man with that nose!
----------------------------------------

There was a kind man very tall,

Used to play the whole week basketball,
But one day a girl came,
And his feelings she tame,
What corrupted the man that was tall!
----------------------------------------

There was a blond madam whose mood,

Was unstable and conduce her to feud,
One minute smiling,
The other was chiding,
You bizarre, blond madam and your mood!
----------------------------------------

There was an old lady whose voice,

Caused all people around expressed joy,
So she a singer became,
What made people acclaim,
That old lady and her heavenly voice!
----------------------------------------

There was a young man with a dog,

That could be seen even in the fog,
When a lady was close,
The dog bit all her clothes,
Which made women be afraid of that dog!
----------------------------------------

There was a strange girl with a cat,

So small and grey like a rat,
When they were in a store,
All around used to ignore,
The strange girl and her peculiar cat!