This is the only translation into English that we know of, of portions of the

Bengali book Londone Swami Vivekananda by his younger brother,

Mohendranath Datta, who lived with him for much of his time in England, in
1895 and 1896. The book was published in 1937 by Mohendra Publishing
Committee, Calcutta. The book's author reports the events and remarks
surrounding Swami Vivekananda and his close associates. He also includes his
own profuse observations and theories regarding the teachings Swamiji gave in
London. The present writer has translated only the first of these two features,
reports relevant for us today.

Some in India doubt the accuracy of Mohendra Datta's memory and even
veracity, in his accounts, partly because the book was written some years after
the author had returned to India and because of his penchant for the miraculous.
However, it is highly probable that he kept a journal and he could not have
grossly misreported. The material is valuable, not only for what it gives us of
Swami Vivekananda's daily life, but also for the light it throws on the lives of
Swami Saradananda and J.J. Goodwin. We feel this to be ample justification
for making it available to the public. Sister Gargi (Marie Louise Burke) had
first rights to it and used some of the information in her biographical books on
Swami Vivekananda.

The book was dedicated to J.J. Goodwin.

The Preface tells us that Goodwin had two unmarried sisters. He had filled
seven notebooks with Swami Vivekananda’s words. These were sent by
Alasinga Perumal and others to the mother, Mrs. Goodwin, who, unable to
decipher the shorthand, destroyed them. Sister Nivedita attempted to trace the
family but could not. In London a woman in nurse’s uniform used to take down
Swamiji’s lectures in shorthand. Who she was or where she lived no one
knows. Mohendra is going to do his best; he has not put in his own opinions or
feelings [in this portion of the book]; he records here what little he can recall.

Chapter I

Mr. Sturdy had met Swami Shivananda at Almora, as a result of which he

invited Swami Vivekananda to come to London. Swamiji did not do much
work in the visit of 1895 because he was so tired from the American work.
Mohendra arrived a week later than Swami Saradananda in that year. Someone
told Mohendra that Sturdy was going to rent the house of Lady Margesson who
was to be away for several months. Two Swamis, Miss Muller and Goodwin
moved into it. Mohendra refers to Miss Muller as “old.” He was living in
another town at the time. On meeting Swamiji Mohendra noticed many changes
in his appearance and his voice. When expressing certain feelings his left hand
would clench and release by turns. A friend of theirs from Madras, also in
London then, said the same. “Naren has a new power and presence.” After
staying a few weeks in the Margesson house at 63 St. George’s Road, Swamiji
took Swami Saradananda and Mohendra with him on a visit to Miss Muller’s
home in Maidenhead
[It was called “The Meads.”] A complete description is given of the house and
yard. There was also a sort of arbor in which Miss Muller and Swamiji often sat
for afternoon tea. One day when the news arrived of the death of Swami
Brahmananda’s small son, Swamiji was visibly affected for some time. About
Dharmapala of Ceylon he said, “He was a mere representative, with no
particular learning. He went there with only one lecture prepared. When I saw
how little he knew, I wondered what to do: ‘Well, Buddha is one of our
avatars,’ I thought, and girding my loins began myself to tell the people about
Buddha.”
One day at 3 p.m. Mr. and Mrs. Sturdy arrived on two bicycles, sat and
talked about the London plans, rent etc. They decided to forward money
themselves in hope of recovering some later. Miss Muller wore a “man’s” suit,
in the fashion of London at the time. Swami Vivekananda alwaysfollowed the
custom of speaking in the language understood by all present. A conversation
took place between him and Miss Muller: Swamiji said, “I will have a lot of
difficult work to do in this life. Compared with last time, there is much more to
be done.”
Miss Muller: “One feels like working for some time, but then it becomes
troublesome; can a person go on working for a very long time?”
But Swamiji seriously and firmly replied, “This time I will work up to the very
last moment.” Later he said, “In a previous life I was born as Buddha.”
Although Miss Muller probably was not much impressed at this, the remark
made the other two listeners wonderstruck. He said other things about his past
births, in an excited manner. Then his eyes twinkled and he made fun of it all.
Miss Muller had a peevish disposition and could not get along with anyone.
Resuming the topic, Swamiji said, “Well I have just begun my work; in
America I have just raised one or two waves; a tidal wave must be raised.
Society must be turned upside down. The world must be given a new
civilization. The world will understand what Power is and why I have come.
Compared with the power I showed last time, it will be tremendous.”
Swami Saradananda put up with many difficulties in Western food and ways:
he felt pinched and bound by Western clothes and manners. Mohendra knew it.
Before Swami Vivekananda, Swami Saradananda was circumspect. Miss
Muller was a vegetarian [and was in charge of the housekeeping].

Chapter II

While at “The Meads”, Swami Vivekananda wrote a report to the

“Brahmavadin.” Swami Saradananda was writing it and reading it out to
Swamiji in a sing-song voice. “Do you think you are reciting the Chandi?” he
asked him. “Read simply and clearly.” One day he was in a buoyant mood,
light-hearted, and a hilarious scene took place in which the two stout swamis
tried to mount and ride a bicycle, in the field in from of Miss Muller’s house.
That day he was his boyish self, all jokes, and sang in a sweet voice a Bengali
song: “Who set me adrift on the waves in the boat of desire? At morn the boat
went floating and I thought this was a grand play of the water, and the spring
breeze would blow sweet. I would go floating in joy.”
Swamiji usually wore a collar which buttoned in front, i.e., an ordinary
collar. Although a preacher, he did not use the clerical collar, nor did he wear a
tie; his jacket came up high and close around the throat.
He would tire of the monotonous food and would decide to go to the kitchen
and cook some hot curries.
It was here that he said to Swami Saradananda, “Why don’t you write a short
life of Sri Ramakrishna?” Miss Muller had written to Prof. Max Muller for
arranging an interview for Swamiji on a fixed day. Swami Saradananda had
quickly set to work to produce the desired short life, which he read to Swamiji.
The latter made some few alterations but he
liked it. The next day they took this account of the life with them when the
three went to visit Max Muller. From that the professor took many incidents
into his own writing and even the language in places.
They all came back to the Margesson house at 63 St. George’s Rd. [Dates are
almost never given.] It was a five-storey house. As one entered, on the right
front was the parlor, back of it a couple of small rooms, in one of which Swami
Vivekananda slept; beyond that a small lavatory. Mounting the stairs one came
upon a large first-floor room [British reckoning; it was the American second
floor, and not very large], beautifully decorated [or “furnished”], suitable as a
lecture or drawing room. It was in two sections, one smaller, and the other,
being above the parlor and passage, larger. The sections were separated only by
iron pillars supporting the ceiling. On the street side of the room stood a table
and chair. Standing by these, Swamiji used to give his lectures. On the right of
this, i.e. the visitors’ left, in the middle of the wall was a fireplace. In the corner
between this and the street was a table where Goodwin would sit and take the
notes, his back to the room. About 150 people [?] could be seated. As one
entered the room one found on the left wall some bookcases full of books and
along the back wall was a large spring sofa.
On the next floor were the rooms Miss Muller lived in. Between the first
[second] and second [third] floors was the bathroom. The kitchen was in the
basement, with storeroom, servants’ quarters, boiler etc. Going upstairs a bit
farther one found a large room in which two or three persons might sleep, with
iron beds. Near the street wall was a rocking-horse for children. This room
became Swami Saradananda’s and Mohendra’s bedroom. A round table in the
middle of the room and three chairs kept company with a large fireplace.
Above this room was a long room with the roof as ceiling, sloping on the sides
so that one could stand up only in the very middle of the area; this was the
“garret.”
And this is where J.J. Goodwin enters the scene. He had brought all his
belongings to this room in his bags. He was only twenty-three or -four years
old, but he looked thirty-five because he had already had a hard life. His heart
was very simple and sweet. He loved verbal jousting and if he got no chance to
argue with someone, he wasn’t happy. He would say to Swami Saradananda,
“You kooky Swami, devil Swami, blacky Swami! You close your eyes and
meditate and think, ‘when will it be lunch time? When will the food bell
ring?’”

Chapter III

In the parlor [ground floor] was a central round table and four chairs, a
fireplace opposite the door. There was an easy chair near it for Swamiji; except
for Sturdy no one else used it. There was a secretary table. The ceiling had a
lotus flower design in gesso. The lighting was gas. The following hilarious
scene is described: Both Swami Saradananda and Mohendra are up in their
room with (recurrent) malarial fever. Swami Saradananda is walking around,
delirious, “rehearsing” a lecture. He tells Mohendra, “Are you listening? You
say ‘Hm’ from time to time so that I will know.” With great difficulty
Mohendra replies ‘Hm’. On the day when Swami Saradananda was recovering,
Swamiji came in and Saradananda, falling down before him on his knees, clung
to Swamiji’s feet and wept like a child. “Make me well. Lift off this burden!”
he said again and again, keeping his head on Swamiji’s feet.
Swamiji smilingly said, “Sit up, you fat rascal! Just see what the malarial
fever has wrought! You will have to lecture, or I will beat you with a stick and
throw you down to the street from this window. I will send you to the
workhouse; do you not know how much money has been spent? (To bring him
there.)
Swami Saradananda replied, “Beat me or do whatever you like, only make
me well or I will not let you go.”
“So be it, rascal,” said Swamiji. “Now get up.” Swami Saradananda stood up
like one utterly obedient. “Look,” Swamiji said, “sitting in my chair in the
dining-room I was building up power. Don’t you know how to build up power?
But what you have seen I did before your eyes.” (Apparently he means that he
has done a “miraculous” cure of Mohendra.)
Swami Saradananda said, “Fine, you have done well; set my mind at rest.”
Swamiji said to Mohendra, “Don’t take any more quinine; take it out and throw
it away; will-power is everything. Don’t eat any bread today, take sago milk.”
And he went away. Swami Saradananda said: “This is not the old Naren any
more; today I have seen at first hand how by will the fever of so many years’
standing has been driven off.” This was the day of the first class lecture [i.e. 7th
May?] Swami Saradananda used to teach Miss Muller a bit of Sanskrit.
Swami Saradananda and Mohendra went to the Indian Empire Exhibition at
Earls Court.
Around the first of May, Mr. John P. Fox, a young man from America
arrived and spent some time. Fox was very fond of Swami Vivekananda whom
he had met at Mrs. Bull’s house in Cambridge, Mass. where Fox was secretary
for a conference. For this reason everyone treated him well.
Miss Muller had studied at Cambridge University with a Dr. John Venn,
(author of Logic of Chance). One day she took Swamiji to meet him. They
talked about philosophy in various forms in different countries. Swamiji
impressed the professor very much and he was most pleased with the
encounter. Mohendra did not hear a word of this from Swamiji, who said only
that someone had been pleased to meet him.
Miss Muller once mentioned seeing all the old cows in India and their pitiful
condition. She remarked that in England such unproductive and suffering
animals are done away with. Swami Saradananda made the mistake of asking
her, “Then why not do away with our parents too, when they get old?” Miss
Muller, whose elderly mother was living, would not speak to him for three
days.
“You see, Sarat,” said Swamiji on hearing about it. “In this country there are
two kinds of old maids: some grow fat; they are cool-hearted and comfortable;
the others get dried up and they are peevish.
Around old maids you must take great care – stand up when they come into the
room; ask, “How are you?”; keep your hands out of your pockets etc.
Quickly give them whatever they want.”
There used to be lectures on Tuesday, from eleven to one. The same subject
was given again at 7 p.m. The same arrangement on Fridays. [This must be a
mistake in his memory]. After about a month there was a Sunday lecture at 4
p.m. in the gallery of the Royal Institute of Painters in Watercolors. The former
were called class lectures and they began with the Yoga Aphorisms; then,
bearing on this, whatever works there were, Eastern or Western, be it history,
chemistry, physics etc. he would talk on without let; afterwards, questions. At
this time there was no particular formality, the conversation being all quite
spontaneous. Some days it was the answer period which was more attractive
than the lecture. But the subject matter was so deep and difficult and he spoke
so fluently, that it was impossible to keep in mind what he said – and even the
speaker would sometimes forget what he had said a moment before.
Goodwin had many shorthand notes of the speeches Swami had given in
America; now there was talk of getting these ready for printing. Whenever he
had time Goodwin would transcribe these and try to get them printed. In this,
Sturdy was the most enterprising, while Miss Muller and others were also
agreeable.
Swamiji on many days did not eat lunch at home. Some particularly big
person or other would come and take him out to lunch, or to tea. Goodwin
would breathe easier when Swamiji was out of the house. Fox, not being a
vegetarian would go out to eat. This day Goodwin, having finished his work
began to dance and cut up, showing different folk dances. Swami Saradananda
said, “Just see, what exertion the English are capable of! This fellow Goodwin
has gone around the whole city, has read his proof-sheet, and now see him
dance! Without this energy could the race have risen up?”

Chapter IV

There used to come to the morning lecture an elderly lady from distant
Crystal Palace or Sydenham, who was past sixty, stout and white-haired. She
would mount the stairs slowly and seat herself with difficulty. Although
summer had begun, she was wrapped up as if it were winter and would
perspire. Mohendra handed her a fan and they got into conversation. “I love
this Swami’s talks,” she said, “I seem to be seeing someone out of the Bible as
it were. Though I am only an old woman and cannot understand much of the
philosophy, Swami speaks in such a way, with his voice and gestures and all,
that I am charmed. It is as if I were seeing clearly before my very eyes many
incidents of the Bible.” Mohendra asked her where she came from and she told
him. “Where will I get the carriage-hire to come so far? So I ride part way and
walk part way, but I don’t miss a lecture.”

Miss McLeod and Other Friends

 On one occasion Miss McLeod came in and impressed Mohendra mightily
with her devotion to and faith in, Swamiji. (He describes the gathering):
Swamiji entered with Swami Saradananda and Goodwin, the latter taking up
his post at the table. As the room was crowded, Swami Saradananda and
Mohendra climbed the stairs to the landing and sat there in chairs. In a corner
of the hall on a sofa sat Sturdy, who, for all these lectures, served as chairman.
Gradually even the landing filled, so Swami Saradananda, Fox and Mohendra
moved up to the first step of the third-floor stairs. What little they could hear
was good. Now there came the nurse who used to attend; she was in uniform.
About thirty or so years old and thin of build, she would sit just by the terrace
door and with concentrated mind take down everything in shorthand. She did
not look around nor talk with anyone and went away quickly. She came ever
(class) morning but made acquaintance with none. Many of those attending
would speak a bit with Swamiji before leaving. Often someone or other invited
him to lunch. More ladies would attend than men, who were seen more in the
evening. He was not called Swamiji by Goodwin or others.
At night there were many gentlemen. One big “Canon” of London used to
attend with this wife [Haweis]. He was particularly fond of Swamiji and
showed faith and devotion. After evening lecture Swamiji would take either
Sturdy or Goodwin for a walk on the street; he would feel tired after talking so
long and when he returned from walking was able to get sleep.
When Miss McLeod was in town she would come about 1 p.m. Every day
from Wm. Whitely’s shop many fruits, choice, rare, expensive, would come at
11 a.m. Who paid the bill or ordered them no one knew; many guessed but no
one asked, through respect.
One day Sturdy was very happy, for the lecture attendance had been very
good, and he was trying for a Sunday lecture. He told the story of a schoolmate
caned by a master. “I get awfully angry when I see a man beating a boy,” he
remarked. Goodwin: “Yes, Mr. Sturdy, and I too, when I see a man beating a
donkey.”
“That is because it rouses your fellow-feeling,” said Swamiji, and all had a
good laugh.
Swami Vivekananda’s first book printed in London was done by Kegan Paul.

A remarkable dream

A lady of about forty-two or three named Johnson, who was English but born
in Moscow, came around. With much devotion and animation she told her
dream: A luminous man came to her and said, “Come along.” Without a doubt
or objection she began to follow him. Going a long way across a field they
came to sea shore. It was a very dark night, yet a wooden ship was seen to be at
hand. A voice came out of the darkness, “Board this ship.” The ship spread its
sail, caught the wind and moved swiftly. All around, a boundless sea. All black
sky, not even stars to be seen. Gradually fear came over her; darkness all
around, who this pilot was, or her fellow-passengers – nothing could she
understand. Then she saw a rope stretched between the mast and the prow, and
on it a lantern hanging. Small as this light was, it gave her hope. Then she saw,
standing by the light, someone who was the Captain or other officer of the ship.
She could see him clearly. At the sight of his face, clear as a photo, her heart
rose. Looking at her and seeing her fear, he said, “There is no fear; even in the
dark the ship will go to its destination; you need not be afraid.” Suddenly she
woke up. Miss Johnson: “I couldn’t say of what country was the man whom I
saw bit it affected me so much and looking in many places in Russia I could
never find that face. I have been living for several years in London and decided
my dream was my delusion. Several weeks ago I heard that a preacher of
Hinduism had come and was giving lectures. As soon as I saw Swami
Vivekananda and heard him speak, I knew it was the same person.” Then she
said that she hadn’t gone up to speak to him, as she was a woman and would
not know what to say. Mohendra got the impression of a sincere and truthful
woman.
One devotee was the wife of a general [Lady Ferguson?]
One night while walking Swamiji told Sturdy how he met Goodwin. “When
I first gave lectures in America, who wrote down anything or kept track of what
was said? Finally everybody insisted that such fine lectures were being lost,
and these must be recorded. So an advertisement was placed in the newspaper
for a shorthand stenographer. Many job-seekers applied and I saw all were
Americans. But one English lad had gone to America and, attending the
Exhibition, had taken down my Chicago speech and given it to the newspapers.
Now he was foot-loose.
He came, and was hired. At first he took wages and lived and ate elsewhere;
after a few weeks he became very devoted to me and said, ‘I don’t want to take
any other work; I wish to do everything for you.’ From that time he has stayed
with me. He does a tremendous amount of work for me; without him I would
be in difficulty.” Sturdy became very serious and Swamiji changed the subject.
After breakfast one day there was the translating of a portion of theNarada
Sutra. When Sturdy had left, Swami Vivekananda came out of his room
wearing his lecture clothes (long red shirt and silk waistband). Now lecture
arrangements had been made for Sunday also; many were attending the class-
lectures etc. so Swamiji was very happy. It was about an hour before morning
class; the busy traffic on the street could be seen through the large dining-room
windows. Swamiji, looking out, began a comic song: “Umbrella in hand, hat on
the head, so many pretty girls are going by with basketsful of flour smeared on
their faces (powder).” He put it to such a droll and mysterious tune, that
Mohendra had to laugh uncontrollably. Swamiji said to Swami Saradananda,
“See the ladies have put powder on their faces as if they had scraped it up with
a hoe.” Swamiji saw that only a few minutes remained till lecture time. Still he
was laughing and joking with the other swami, poking ribs and playing. They
were like two kids as they went up the stairs. Gradually, as Swamiji went up he
became a totally different person, that look of a lion-conqueror, master ascetic
etc. coming over him. Swami Saradananda seeing him, fell behind, silent and
awed.

England contrasted with America

One day Swamiji was sitting in his long easy-chair and smoking his pipe,
when his glance fell on Fox’s shoes, which were brown boots with pointed
toes. Swamiji said, “In America those who wear this kind of shoe get their toes
curled, the toes pressed. At first it seems uncomfortable.” Then, “America
seems to be full of electricity. What exertion and enthusiasm there is
everywhere! I used to see poor Italians or Russians entering the country with
pack on the back, halting steps, afraid of anyone, wearing soiled clothes; after
two or three months I saw that they were wearing respectable clothes, walking
erect, going into restaurants and eating with everyone. No more idea of fear!
The country is free, you see; so into them also that freedom has entered. And if
a man makes a new invention, right away he gets a patent on it and makes a
fortune.” And he went on in that vein. “What a desire for work! Nobody
depends on anyone else. Son doesn’t wish to remain dependent on father, nor
father on son. Seeing America I was able to understand what Freedom is. I saw
that great or small, a man works with the idea that one day he may become a
millionaire, or even President.
Work, work, self-manifestation, tearing up obstacles – demonstrate freedom –
this is in the very air of America.”

When one evening he told the story of Narada on his way to heaven meeting
the two aspirants, the ladies were in raptures. Gathering around Swamiji they
said, “I never heard such a beautiful story; it has brought peace to my heart.”
The discourse was very good that night. The average person did not understand
the discussion of Raja Yoga: dhyana, dharana and all that. They listened
because they had to. But everyone enjoyed the talk on Bhakti of that evening.
Swamiji, too, was not in a very serious mood that day. Coming down from the
lecture room to the dining room, all the “family” being there, Swami
Saradananda emptied a full glass of water at one gulp. “Look at that!” said
Swamiji to Sturdy and Miss Muller, “I lectured and hegot thirsty.” Looking at
the other Swami he said, “Did you speak, that you have become so thirsty?”
Swami Saradananda said smiling, “Well, your lecture was such a threat
(dhamak), who wouldn’t get thirsty? It was not one glass, but three glasses.”
All laughed. Even Miss Muller was very happy with the talk, and Sturdy
praised it.

Chapter V

For the Piccadilly Sunday lectures the Water Color Painter’s Gallery was
hired, and a notice placed in the newspaper. A church paper published that an
atheist had come from India to preach his doctrines; he did not believe in God,
criticized the Christian religion and various other nice things. In all the
newspapers such was the influence of the clergy that this was the general
understanding. On Friday or Saturday evening Goodwin would write out, on
small pieces of paper, notices ready to be sent to each newspaper. As many
copies had to be made, Swami Saradananda and Mohendra did this. These were
sent but not a mention came out in the Sunday papers. From this it was clearly
understood that there was a strong inside prejudice. Goodwin was just as
determined: every week when he wrote the notice he would send it to all the
papers. But there was no mention in the church news column.

Canon Haweis

Goodwin heard that in a church near Regent’s Park a highly-placed

clergyman was going to give a talk on Hinduism or relating to Swami
Vivekananda. The man (a Canon) used to attend regularly the evening class,
with his wife and daughter. He had great regard for, and faith in, Swamiji.
More people attended the Regent’s Park church than most churches; at that
time this man was very popular with the common folk. Next day Goodwin
suggested that after breakfast Swami Saradananda, Goodwin, Fox and
Mohendra all go together to hear the sermon. Swamiji at first agreed. Fox
pronounced the preacher’s name “Hawees”; Swamiji corrected him: “Hawai-s.”
A bit later, Goodwin, thinking it over said, “Let Fox and me go, otherwise
people seeing two Indians, many would guess that they had come to spy out
what would be said about Swami Vivekananda.” In the end Fox could not go
and Goodwin went alone. When he returned he reported, “What a lecture!
Backty and Backto.” Canon Haweis had said that this idea comes from India.
Just now from India had come this Swami Vivekananda who was explaining
this so beautifully. Many people were hearing and appreciating it and he
himself had learned it from him. If this approach could be brought into
Christianity it would be beneficial etc. Goodwin laughed a lot about the
(pronunciation) Backty and Backto, but said many times how happy the sermon
had made him.

Lecture at the Galleries

By four o’clock all were ready to go to Piccadilly. Miss Muller went by

herself. The men all went by “bus” (horse-drawn). Swamiji and Sturdy sat on
the roof on a bench, talked and smoked cigarettes, the other three sitting behind
them. Upstairs at the Galleries Swamiji first made light talk with acquaintances.
In the hall, four or five hundred could be seated. Goodwin said there would be
many people at lecture time. Ahead of time, Swami Saradananda and
Mohendra occupied a sofa near the lecture platform, lest they not be able to get
out afterward. Swamiji seated two Indians inside and turning around and
coming back, began to welcome everyone at the door. Miss Muller, not getting
a place in the hall, stood near the door, with a necklace of huge yellow glass
beads around her neck. There were some pictures on the walls, and a polished
wooden floor. The speaker’s place was a platform at one end with table and
glass of water. Mr. Sturdy mounted this and introduced the subject and speaker
in a couple of minutes and stepped down.

Meanwhile Goodwin tipped off Swamiji as to the subject announced, as he

would forget what had been published. He did not worry about or prepare the
lectures. He wore a red tunic or long shirt, a collar but no tie. There was a sash
around his waist but he was bare-headed. With his arms crossed on his chest he
began to pace the platform like a swift lion. His facial expression was now
altogether changed. Now his facial expression became completely changed.
The same person who, five minutes before had been just laughing and making
jokes like an ordinary man, smoking a cigarette, now in him a sleeping power
had suddenly awakened; the muscles had become firm and hard, the eyes
dilated and his glance full of fire and authority. He had become a man free and
disembodied. Then he lowered his arms to his side and occasionally swung
them a little. All of sudden he stood stiff, his eyes had an inward look; he
seemed to have left the gross body and gone to the subtle, and he remained with
a fixed gaze like this, as if looking at something in the air.

Then gradually, with tones of affection the words began to come out quickly.
Even when his voice was soft, he would be clearly heard to the end [of the
hall?] Gradually as the thought became tense and complex, so the voice would
rise accordingly. Slowly his left arm was set in motion and the fingers of his
hand sometimes clenched, sometimes spread, expressing the thought in his
mind. Sometimes he would raise his right arm, and sometimes when the
thought was very profound, he used both arms to aid the expression. Thus the
lecture ended after nearly an hour and a half. The audience had sat still and
breathless as if there were no one in the room. Then he drank water, came
down, seemed his normal self and within five minutes tried to mix with
everyone. Even then a “lit” look remained in his face and eyes. Among the
audience those who were American said, “We heard this lecture in America.”
But those who were hearing it for the first time were astonished. Miss McLeod
was present. The house lectures were on Raja Yoga and the Piccadilly ones
serially on Jnana Yoga and other stories and subjects arranged in various places
in the Complete Works.

Below stairs

One day Swamiji and his brother-Swami went down to the kitchen, made
ghee, cooked potatoes into khichuri, and made a very spicy curry and brought it
up to the dining-room. Suddenly Swami Saradananda said to Mohendra, “Oh,
take a bit out for Miss Cameron, otherwise she will scold us when she comes in
the afternoon.” Mohendra did so, but Miss Cameron did not come that
afternoon. She came next day at four o’clock bringing a young Swiss man
[Max Gysi?]. Miss Cameron was about forty-five years old, a friend of Mr.
Sturdy. She loved Swamiji very much and had a loud mouth but a big heart.
She would come to the door and say, spiritedly, to Swami Saradananda, “You
kooky Swami, you devil Swami,” etc. Though scolding, she would examine
everything minutely, from kitchen to bedroom, seeing whether the kitchen was
supplied, what was being cooked, talk over with the housekeeper the menus
etc., tidy up each room, see if the sheets were clean, then come and sit in the
dining-room. The young man had spoken before with Swami Saradananda and
Mohendra. Later it was learned that he came from Switzerland and Miss
Cameron was taking care of him like an adopted son. When Swami
Saradananda fed them some of the curry, it made her eyes water and she cried
out, “Oh, it is poison,” and teased him.
Goodwin always stayed close to Swamiji, listened carefully to his words and
took down everything about Vedanta and Raja Yoga. At that time the mood of
Vedanta became much awakened in Goodwin. There was an elderly
maidservant (apparently Irish) with whom he used to banter. She once took
exception to something that was being done in the house and when told
“Swami Vivekananda is responsible for it; why don’t you complain to him?”,
she lost her nerve and said, “No, Swami is a great man. I love him much. He is
very kind to all. He is a great-hearted man!” She never attended any lecture and
stayed downstairs; but seeing and hearing about the people who came to him
and what they said, she had much faith in him and devotion to him.
Sturdy, who did not smoke and did not know tobacco, one day brought
Swamiji a pound of special pipe tobacco which he tried, but could not get to
burn properly. He said to Goodwin, “You see, Sturdy is rather stingy. He got a
bargain, and so the tobacco is no good. No taste, no smell, it won’t draw in the
pipe. Throw this away, my boy, and go out and get me some good tobacco. All
day I have to spend talking with people, have to lecture, have to think; I can’t
even smoke a little if I want to. This sour-faced man into whose hands I have
fallen has taken the life out of me.” Goodwin did as he was bidden.

Clarification of “Yoga”

A young man from Gujerat named Deshai [who wrote in Reminiscences of

Swami Vivekananda] used to come to Swamiji frequently. Sometimes he would
write Sanskrit poems and read them to him. Hearing these the latter would say,
“Do the work you came here to do, with a concentrated mind. You didn’t have
to cross the seven seas and all that to compose Sanskrit poems; you could have
done that sitting at home.” Sometimes one or two other Gujerati boys also
would come. Deshai once asked, “Swamiji, you are always giving lectures on
Raja Yoga. Why not Hatha Yoga?”
“Look, my boy, wearing the sadhu’s outfit and wandering all over India I
had a difficult time enough to get my meals; and you speak of hatha yoga! In
hatha yoga one has to regulate the food, wrap the body in a flannel blanket, etc.
This is a business fraught with difficulties. Those who have provision for
proper food, whose mind doesn’t go in other directions, who can sit by the hour
and carefully look after the body, can do hatha yoga.
Deshai: “But doesn’t hatha yoga help to improve the mind?”
Swamiji: “Mind improvement and all mental matters are called raja yoga.
Hatha yoga is only fixing the body. One can keep it a long time.
In Maharaj Ranjit Singh’s durbar there was a sadhu named Baba Haridas. He
was a hatha yogi. Once he showed the hatha yoga practices. First he sat stiff.
Then, putting him into a safe-like box, people fastened it with a chain, buried
the chest in the earth and planted wheat over it.
The wheat ripened and was cut; five or six months had passed. On all sides
guards were kept. When it was opened there was Baba Haridas still stiff, only
the top of his head was a little warm. Then his disciples began to rub his back
with the juice of trees and shrubs to bring him back to outer consciousness.
Ranjit Singh wanted to present him with many gifts, but he would accept
nothing. At the end of his life he was not very well. In hatha yoga there is no
improvement in the mind, merely doing different things with the body. Raja
Yoga is the only way for matters mental.”
 Swamiji and History

Fox became so much attracted to Swamiji’s genius that on any argument

raised he would go to him for authority. When it came to history, Fox said,
“Swamiji says that the French are the Persians of Europe.” Talking with Fox
Swamiji said one day, “Pajamas and tailored dress were first made by the
Persians and then taken up by others; the other races of Europe now
demonstrate the elegance of the Persians.” He and Fox used to talk a lot of
history. Once Swamiji said: “At the time of Megasthenes many of the people of
India were Persian. He was a contemporary of Chandragupta. But thereafter
with the ascendancy of Buddhism, the Indian blood got mixed with all kinds of
other peoples and the race became dark-skinned, and their strength
diminished.”
One day the subject came up of the Roman Emperor Aulus Vitellius (15 – 69
CE). In Gibbon’s Roman History it is mentioned that Vitellius did nothing but
eat during his reign. Swamiji said that myna birds from Assam, peacocks from
various parts of India, used to go to Rome. Vitellius would eat myna birds
cooked in ghee and milk. And the liver of white fox from Siberia. The man’s
food was very odd. Fox used to say about Swamiji, “He puts to shame many an
American professor and pandit.”
Sometimes Swamiji would say to Fox, “Look, I have seen your America.
People have become mad to make money; it is their whole world. They are
unaware that there is anything else to be thought about. Do you know what?
One day when I went to see the Exhibition in Chicago I took ride on the huge
merry-go-round. Two people happened to bump their heads together, and
instead of being ashamed and apologizing to each other, they exchanged
business cards! People speak of nothing but business. But when the country
becomes a bit more prosperous, their minds will go to higher things; then in
that land you will see the development of philosophy, art and music. Oh, what a
time I had in one big American barbershop! One has to take somebody with
him as a birth certificate – otherwise the barber of a respectable shop will not
cut the hair of a “darkie.” This is a terrible thing. I saw that the hatred of dark
color is very strong in America.”
One day about two or three o’clock Swamiji was leaning back in his easy
chair in one corner of the room, his legs crossed, eyes closed, as if pondering
something. He stayed this way a long time. Fox, Mohendra and others were
sitting still. Swamiji suddenly uncrossed his legs and said with a serious face:
“Fox, I have been thinking about Paul and the Christian religion. Do you know
what I see? A minor religion was in the hands of a few fishermen. At that time
the Greeks and Romans were two powerful races. The Jews were a subject
race. Paul became the advocate of the ideas of these fishermen. Paul was a
learned fanatic, so he could overturn the Greek philosophy and Roman
government. Mere religion and devotion doesn’t do the trick; there have to be
fanatics. Do you know what I am? Paul was a learned fanatic and I want to
create a band of learned fanatics. You see, just a fanatic is not enough – that is
a kind of brain disease and makes much mischief. It must be a learned fanatic.”
He got quite excited over this: everyone listened awestruck. So it is, many say,
“What Paul was to Jesus, Vivekananda is to Ramakrishna.”
After morning lecture one day Swamiji was slowly coming downstairs with
Miss Muller. We have previously mentioned the unpleasantness between her
and Swami Saradananda on a certain occasion. Swamiji was saying to her, in a
soothing voice, but by way of chiding, “We are all monomaniacs. I am a
monomaniac for my preaching of Vedanta; you are a monomaniac for your
whims. The world is full of monomaniacs.”
Miss Muller did not care for the cooking of the elderly housekeeper and
began to make a fuss about it. One afternoon she grumbled and grumbled, got
dressed up and went off to her relatives. Sturdy was not there that day. Swamiji
became cross and said, “I can’t put up with it. Nothing but quarrels. As soon as
the slightest thing goes wrong, she puts up a fuss. Let her stay with her family
for a while; she will cool off and come back.”
Once as they sat down to a meal Swamiji asked Goodwin to look in the diary
to see if there was any engagement today. Goodwin saw that there was an
invitation from a duke in Park Lane at this very hour. [Perhaps the Duke of
Cambridge, one of Queen Victoria’s sons.] A terrible rush ensued, with
everyone trying to get Swamiji ready. A carriage was called, etc. Goodwin was
at his every beck and call, whirling like a spinning wheel. Then they sat down
again to their meal. Goodwin raved about the split-peadal. “How delicious! I
could eat this all my life,” etc. Swami Saradananda and Mohendra smiled to
themselves. Swamiji returned very late at night.
The next day he said to the other Swami, “Well, Sarat, have you noticed?
Big and influential people of Calcutta come here, but nobody cares a fig for
them. Do the dukes eat with them? By bringing many certificates they may
succeed in meeting important people, whereas I am fed by invitation. And do
you see? Before me they are struck all of a heap!”
“I belong to the class of “teachers”, here – that is why I am honored. I move
right in step with the rich, the high-born, the intelligentsia, like an Englishman.
And don’t you see? I pound Vedanta into their bones. From now on they will
see India with new eyes. They will hear about India with respect.” And he
laughed softly. About half-past one or two o’clock he said to Fox: “Come on!
Eating a monotonous diet every day is no good. Let us two go out and eat at a
hotel.”
One day after breakfast Swamiji was sitting in his own chair and others
around him. The subject of America came up. Goodwin said, “Our biggest
meeting was in Detroit. Nearly six thousand people. That day your words came
out with superhuman strength. I was mad with joy.”
Swami replied, “In America, who are they who will help spread Vedanta?”
Goodwin said,
“I can count on my fingers the big people who used to attend the lectures in
America.”
Swamiji: “What about Tesla and Edison?”
Goodwin: “Tesla would work out all right, but Edison would be utterly
incompatible.” In this way the names of many noted persons were mentioned
and who would be helpful and who would not. When he heard Goodwin’s
opinion that the spread of Vedanta in America would be permanent, Swamiji
became heartened and joyful.
In 1895 in London many of the barber shops were operated by Germans,
who would work for lower wages than the English. When Swamiji needed a
haircut he would take with him some well-known person to the high-class
English shops. Such barber shops were not open to the common man. All of
them were like palaces. But they would serve Swamiji if he was accompanied
by one of the elite. Again he made the comparison with the color-bar in
American shops.
It seems that once he got his toenails cut by one of the Hale Sisters.

Chapter VI

Goodwin loved every product of his own race. He would say to Mohendra,
“Eat some strawberries! They are a very fine fruit, a really good thing.”
Mohendra, like many Indians, saw nothing great about them.
One day, from the fancy fruit market there came a pineapple. Swamiji was
delighted and taught Goodwin how to peel it. After all had eaten it, Swamiji
talked about pineapples. “This is a Chinese fruit; formerly it was not found in
India. Probably the Portuguese or Dutch brought it in. It was called ‘ananas,’
which in time became ‘anaras.’ But now there are plenty in India; so fertile is
Indian soil that many foreign fruits are grown in abundance.” At any rate, the
Indians present were enraptured at tasting it. They say that even the cawing of
crows of one’s own land is sweet to the ear.
Once Swamiji talked to Deshai a lot about miracles. He said, “The Tantrik
sadhus know how to distill wine. They were carrying wine in
theirkamandalus when a village, getting the smell of wine, raised objection.
Then the sadhus began to show their miracles. Pouring a little wine into some
water with repetition of a mantra and posturing their bodies in many ways they
showed that the water had become like milk. Everyone was astonished. Sadhus
can show many tricks like this. Because of this, true religion becomes a
laughing-stock and people remain skeptical about sadhus. You see, one of
Shivaji’s gurus was a sadhu. It was through his blessing that Shivaji prevailed.
When Shivaji fought with the Moguls, his spies wearing gerrua like monks
went about all over the land gathering information. There was no restriction on
the movements of sadhus. From that time government is very suspicious of
people wearing gerrua and they keep a sharp eye on them.”
He told Deshai: “When I was wandering about in India I once took rest near
a schoolroom (pathshala) where some children were studying grammar. I was
sitting at a distance; they saw me but said nothing. They thought I would be
taking some food and moving on; they would see me at mealtime. Hearing their
mistakes in grammar, my ear took offense. Finally I could not stand it any
longer and went over and corrected them. Now they began to spread my fame
and press me to stay there. My mind was much depressed at that time, and I
wanted to go to another place, so I had something to eat and moved off. Deshai,
going around India I have seen what difficulty a sadhu has to get two grains of
rice. The other day you asked me about hatha yoga. Do you understand what
hunger there is there? I saw then what suffering there is in the land.”
And Swamiji’s face lost all smile, became grave and he was stock-still with
tears in his eyes.

J.J. Goodwin on himself

One day Goodwin began to talk to Swami Saradananda regarding his own
life. They had lived in Frome [a bit south of Batheaston] and were tenants of
the Marquis of Bath. Goodwin had a widowed mother and two unmarried
sisters. They were supporting themselves somehow, and when he got money he
would send it to his mother. He was then twenty-three or four years old and
knew shorthand well. Work was not always available in one place, so he had
wandered from England to Australia, then to America. Wherever he went he
studied the local language. Goodwin said, “I have traveled wherever English is
spoken. What else to do? A poor man from childhood, I have gone about trying
to get my living. No patron do I have; I have been to many places, mixed with
many people – they gave me work, gave the wages – but no one gave me his
heart’s love. Then in America I met Swami Vivekananda. Then alone I could
understand what love was. So, income or no income, I am trapped! I have been
round the world, hob-knobbed with famous people, but never have I found such
a noble being as Swamiji: one is drawn as if to one’s very own.
“On the boat from Australia to Colombo I had no work. How to put in the
time? So I began to dance. I would dance half the night. And I played cards and
gambled. Lost a lot of money.” Hearing all this Swami Saradananda said to
Mohendra (in Bengali), “Even though Goodwin is Swamiji’s devotee, his
English nature is very prominent. Cricket and football are his craze, gambling
his vice. All the English weaknesses are in him.” Goodwin, hearing the talk,
said,” It seems you are berating me in your own tongue?” Swami Saradananda
replied that he was just talking about his gambling.
Swami Vivekananda had heard about all that before. Referring to this he told
Goodwin, “You were misnamed Goodwin; it should have been ‘Badwin.’
Goodwin shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I am not Bad-win,” he said, but
Good-win, Good-win, Goodwin.” Swamiji laughed a bit and said, “You are a
gambler, you are always thinking of that.”

Swamiji’s portrait, and habits of dress

Swamiji said that in America there was a married couple, both artists, short
and plump of build; they used to go out on bicycles together, like friends, for
painting pictures. They were very fond of him and sometimes would come and
take him out on the contraption, sitting one on either side of him [tandem?]
They would seat Swamiji between them somewhere and begin to paint his
portrait. They would compete to see who could produce the greater likeness
and thus eagerly would work at painting him. Swamiji would sit still until he
was cramped, while they worked. He felt very happy to see their urge to be pre-
eminent, and laughed while telling us about it.
Goodwin was a real cut-up, making everyone laugh.
Swamiji was always careful to learn the local customs and to follow them
without defect, which is why he was so much respected. Once he told
Mahendra not to come into the sitting room with his tie loosened and to change
his collar twice a week. It seems to an Indian very extravagant.
He paid so much attention to manners and customs that it is no wonder that
people in America had said that, though he went about like a wandering monk,
he was the child of an aristocrat – never forgetting an observance. He always
shaved beard and moustache, and if he had an evening invitation to meal, he
would shave again, change his collar, and comb and part his hair, and see that
his shoes were shined.
One morning Swamiji said, “In America now there will be scarcely a town of
twenty or thirty thousand who will not know of me. And many will be very
familiar. There are many students, too, but these proved to be “chips” and blew
away [chela means both]. Only Goodwin stayed; I saw that fellow was without
food. But there is a difference between the English and the Americans: as I see
it, the Americans are very sociable, whereas the English don’t like to mix and
can bite like white ants.” Then he changed the subject.
 His coming to the West

Another morning after breakfast Swamiji said to Swami Saradananda, “Do

you see, I tried every opening: I tried teaching, I tried law; I found every door
closed. Then I saw this path. This one opened for me and I found success in it.
A man has to try all roads, to get one to open which will be fruitful.” “Well, he
asked, “why do our countrymen die off so quickly? I ask about someone of
whom I’ve had no news and I hear he has died. Will our race become extinct, I
wonder? I saw in America eighty or ninety-year old people; sixty was “middle-
aged.” They live long, so do the English, but the Indians die. It is because their
diet is so wretched. It must be changed. For a couple of years in America I had
no illness – only a few colds. I slept like a log but the body did not suffer. The
climate of that land is very good. And how they live! They don’t want to die, it
seems. Such enthusiasm! Such perseverance.
They move about with liveliness, while Indians do it passively, as if sitting
down. All those Vedantic utterances I gave out to the people while I wandered
through India, if they would have them; but their taking was a shambles – in
fact, they began to berate me. I decided I will go to a free country and speak out
these things. Without freedom no one will be able to receive it. I saw that there
would be a meeting in Chicago. So I ran with all my might to be present in
Chicago. It was those people who first appreciated the Vedantic ideas. India did
nothing: she did not take it.” That day he voiced many such complaints.

Vedanta as a universal religion

On Sunday he had spoken at the R.I.P.W. Monday, after breakfast, Swamiji

raised Vedanta topics with Sturdy. His mind was very expansive and he said,
“This Vedanta philosophy was given out by the rishis of olden times. Then
their hearts were great, their minds very cultured, so they spread it broadcast.
Later, when the race fell, they cooped it up in a little corner. It fell into the
hands of unworthy persons and became neglected. But now this Vedanta must
be spread far and wide.
Make it a universal property. The various religions go on talking about their
respective devotions, personal ideals and customs and rituals, but no one talks
about his philosophy. Vedanta concerns itself with philosophy, that which is
not the property of any particular religion, so Vedanta will be the universal
religion.” So saying he began to walk, and pulling on his pipe, waxed
enthusiastic, repeating: “Make it a universal property; let it not fall into the
hands of narrow-minded persons.”
Goodwin and Miss Muller did not get along very well. In other words, she
did not care much for him. There was no obvious reason; perhaps Swamiji was
especially fond of Goodwin and used him for all his work. One day Goodwin
said to him, “It doesn’t seem to be so convenient, my staying here. It may be
better if I live elsewhere and come in to work.” On hearing him Swamiji
understood the whole matter, and, feeling very sad, said, “How will that work?
My need is a twenty-four hour one; how will I manage if you aren’t here?”
Goodwin replied, “What else to do, when I can’t get on with these people?
But I have to eat! Going elsewhere I can manage by myself somehow. And I
will come and take down the lecture notes.” Swamiji kept quiet. He said
nothing but continued to look toward Goodwin from time to time. [Nowhere
does Mohendra say that Goodwin actually left the house.]
After Swamiji went out, Goodwin expressed to Mohendra some resentment
against Miss Muller. “She is not British. She is a Chilean woman. Her father
was a German who migrated to Chile by ship and made a fortune. Later, selling
his factory (or business) for cash he came to England to live and left his money
to his children.”
Swami Saradananda so much disliked the regimentation of British life and
having to change his habits, that he would sometimes say,
“I came here to Naren, and I am about to die. I feel like running straight away.”

An international incident

The news appeared one morning in the paper that a young Chinese had come
to London, and the Chinese ambassador had decoyed him into his own
residence and forcing him to board ship and go back to China. Reading the
news, Swamiji said to Goodwin, “What is this, Goodwin, isn’t this a free
country? All are the same in freedom. Now where is your right of hospitality?
This poor Chinese lad in the city of London is being maltreated. Where is your
national ideal of liberty?” Goodwin jumped up, shook his fist, stamped his foot
and became quite heated. He said, “Such behavior in England! Anyone setting
foot on the soil of England becomes free from that moment. How wrong of the
Chinese Ambassador! Doesn’t he know this is England? Many nihilists and
anarchists and foes of the government of Russia are living in this country in
freedom. Their meetings and newspapers etc. are being carried on: no one says
anything. And this Chinese ambassador has taken the Chinese boy!” Sturdy
said, “Even if there has to be a war with China over this, we are ready. I will
become a soldier myself. It is a disgrace to England.”
Then Lord Salisbury, M.P. had soldiers surround the Embassy and man all
the docks. He wrote to the Ambassador to deliver the young man into his
keeping. But Goodwin was hot all day and did no work, and bought
newspapers. Swamiji’s face was very melancholy; he seemed to be brooding.
Once in a while he would say something. “Powerful people treat poor people in
this way.” Even when he did not speak, one knew his every thought by his face.
Then Goodwin delightedly brought the news that the boy had been freed.
[Mohendra says that he, Mohendra, later made acquaintance with this boy in
the British Museum Library. The young man was the future Sun-yat Sen].

Scandal of Mrs. Dyer

One day the newspaper informed that a Mrs. Dyer of Reading would be
hanged. [She was an elderly woman who for some years had taken under her
“care” the illegitimate babies of “high society,” along with the money for their
keep – then disposed of them in the Thames River. Biggest scandal of the day.]
Swamiji read it and said to Sturdy, “The Thames water has become babies
soup!” Then, “I see that the society is rotten. This baby-murder goes on in
house after house. A race begins to rot from the inside first: then comes an
enemy and conquers it. If this race goes on in this way, its fall is assured, I see.
From social evil every evil eventuates.” Sturdy said, “Swamiji, English society
is going rotten inside; as outward enjoyment increases, in such measure does
inner corruption increase too. In this country the standard of living is high, and
human nature will be what it is; so there is much social evil.”
Swamiji remained in a mood of disgust that day.
At this time Max Muller’s essay entitled “A Real Mahatma” appeared in the
well-known journal Nineteenth Century. He had brought out a life of Sri
Ramakrishna, as mentioned before.
The former Presidency College Principal, Mr. Tawney, had written and
published an article in a paper of the time about Sri Ramakrishna. Because of
Swami Vivekananda’s London speeches and his mixing with the “big people,”
there began to be some discussion of Ramakrishna in academic circles. At
Kankhal in 1917 the famous Aswini Kumar Datta told Mohendra that he and
Prof. Tawney wrote that the latter tries to read “M.”sKathamrita in Bengali, but
cannot make it out in many places because of the village dialect. Yet he reads it
daily just like the Bible. Aswini told this with great joy.
One afternoon Swamiji was sitting in the parlor with Sturdy and others.
Swamiji said, “See how advanced the Germans are in science.”
(Then he described their use of a fielding system for sewage water. Coming out
on the other side of a field, the water was quite pure and even fit to drink.)

Chapter VII

It was now summer. One afternoon Swamiji, Sturdy, Goodwin, Swami

Saradananda, Fox and Mohendra were sitting together. In the newspapers there
came as special news the description of the coronation of Czar Nicholas II.
Goodwin was reading aloud. In commemoration of the coronation many classes
of subjects had a year’s rents (taxes) nullified, and enameled cups bearing the
coronation year stamped on them, were to be given away to innumerable
persons, for which great preparations had been made. Poor people had flocked
to Moscow in hope of an enameled cup. But the crowd was so vast, the police
could make no arrangement for controlling them and fired on them and many
died. Finally the Superintendent of Police shot himself. Everyone was
dumbfounded by this news. Shortly Sturdy said, “Excusing back taxes – it is an
empty gesture. Whatever is done, the magnates will fill their stomachs, the
commoners will go to the wall; rather, extra taxes will be levied. It is a
barbaric, intolerable race, knowing nothing of government. They rule by
oppression alone. He said much more, about the good government of England
and poor government of others. Goodwin said, “This is very wicked behavior.
If it happened in England we would challenge it.”
Swamiji had till now remained silent in his chair and as if sunk in deep
thought. His face was serious, his eyes wide and filled with sadness. Suddenly
he said, “What misery! What suffering! For the sake of one cup all those people
left their villages and came to the city and so many shot! How poor the country
is. They are starving. They have given their lives for a two-bit enameled glass.
Will the Czar’s coronation be remembered as a festival of joy or a catastrophe
of carnage? And this happened right in front of the Czar! How sad.” And he
began to walk the floor.`

Goodwin’s patriotism

Edward VII was then Prince of Wales. A horse of his named “Persimmon”
won the Derby race. England is a racing country, the fact that a horse of the
Prince should win the race made a big stir. Everyone was overjoyed. Goodwin
became excited and talked a lot about horse-racing, which did not please the
others. He said the name Persimmon time after time. Swamiji was walking
back and forth and began to make faces, saying “Persimmon” in mockery of
Goodwin. The latter, who understood Swamiji’s every mood, got down on his
knees and with folded hands pleaded, “Swamiji, whatever ridicule or teasing
has to be done, please do it to poor Goodwin. Poor Goodwin is your disciple,
your servant; but please do not say anything against the Royal Family; that is
considered very censurable in this country. Have pity on me.” Hearing his
words all were bemused. This Goodwin was supposed to be a dyed-in-the-wool
radical, and here was such unswerving devotion to the Royal Family!
At one point Swamiji and Sturdy were discussing the clergy of America.
Swamiji said, “The clergy of America only go about with plans for raising
money. Faith, devotion – these things are not in them. Just as the industrialists
of America go around making money, so is the preoccupation of their clergy.
Where Jesus showed his grand renunciation and wandered about with a single
garment taking the name of God, these priests only raise money. I gave a good
preaching to the preachers. They got miffed at me, but the rest of the people
were pleased, because on one has dared to reproach them before.”
Sturdy said: “The Christian religion has become utterly corrupted; it has
become just a military and commercial religion. Its business now is war and
commerce. Such religion will no longer stand in the world. The whole thing
must be thrown out and a new religion established. The Vedanta is the only
religion that will work.”
A gentleman came to meet Swamiji who, while talking with him, said from
time to time,” Do you not think such-and-such?” as if his matured opinion must
be Swamiji’s also. No one need do any thinking for himself, but should
expound this man’s idea and nothing else. Swamiji heard him in silence and
with a grave face. At last, after a few words the Swami dismissed him, and told
Sturdy, “This is a bad way of conversing. He uses a patronizing tone. So I did
not engage him much in talk.” Sturdy said that many have this fault.
One day a man came and told Swamiji all his most intimate affairs. Many
did this with him. It seemed to console them. They reckoned him as one of their
family and never thought, “Oh, this is a foreigner; I should not mix with him.”
Goodwin was interested in politics and always was talking about “one man,
one vote.” One day there was a knock at the door. Mohendra followed
Goodwin to the door, saw there a peasant in boots. Mohendra noticed that
Goodwin spoke with him at the door. Later he asked Goodwin why he had not
asked the man to come in, and was told, “He belongs to the laboring class.”
Then Mohendra thought of how Goodwin said everyone was equal in England.
Swami Saradananda commented that politics is in the very bones of the British.
Goodwin kept his mouth shut around Swamiji. So when the latter was out, he
made use of that opportunity to talk politics with the others. He favored
abolition of the House of Lords (but not of the Monarchy).

Swamiji’s conversations

On the morning following a dispute between Swami Vivekananda and an

Englishman at the evening discourse (to be reported on in Part II) Swamiji was
very late getting up. His mind being upset, he had taken Goodwin for a long
walk along the street. His eyes were swollen from the night’s chill. In his
dressing gown and slippers he usually came to eat breakfast at nine or nine-
thirty. After food he would sit in his easy- chair and talk long with Goodwin
about religion and the American lectures, but today suddenly his subject and
tone were different. He spoke of India’s wars. For on the night’s walk he had
spoken of this continuously. So he was still talking history.
He said that when the English first came to Madras, the French were the
ascendant race. They had exceptional prowess in war and government. The
native Muslims and French banded together and surrounded Arkat Castle. The
British had only a few native soldiers. Battle gradually increased; slowly the
British were hard put and many died. Their supplies gave out etc. But their
native sepoys were so generous and noble that they said, “We are natives: we
can live on very little.” And, cooking rice, they gave it to the British and
themselves lived on the rice water. Some days went by. A Marathi commander,
making with his army and encampment at a distance, was much impressed at
the sight of the heroism and said he could not but go to the aid of people who
could so skillfully survive, and he advanced with his party. Maharashtra was
powerful then. When the Muslims and the French heard he was aiding the
beleaguered, they withdrew and the Englishmen’s lives were saved.
“Your race disregards this event, this nobility and heroism of the Hindus and
oppresses them. Even though saved from the mouth of death you now make
various types of oppression over them. Your race has no appreciation, you are
self-seeking ungrateful people. That is why the peoples of the world do not
have faith in you.”
When Goodwin would boast of the courage of British soldiers, Swamiji
would tell him other nice stories of this kind.
“You see,” he said, “this is through ‘hypnotizing,’ this control which a few
Britishers have over the Indians, sitting on their chests and sucking their blood.
But the day that hypnotism is dispelled and the Indians understand their own
inner strength, they will squeeze you like a lemon” – showing such a gesture
with his fist.

His estimate of the English

“Do you know why your country still survives? The French were a great
race, who worked like heroes. But they had one weakness: the officers, the
ministers, could be bribed by foreigners against their own people. They
betrayed them in battle. So the French race fell. I see a thousand faults in your
people; you may be cruel and self-seeking, but you have one great quality: very
strong love for the race. There is no betrayal. This alone is what has preserved
you. If you ever lose that you will fall apart in a few days, and will revert to
being barbaric.”
The question came up of the Mogul Empire. Why did such a great empire
fall? Swamiji used to say it was conquered by its own wickedness.
When Sir Thomas Rowe went as British envoy to the court of Jehangir he
wrote that when the Mogul emperor moves from one place to another, a whole
city goes with him. Whatever classes of people live in the city, the same must
go and stay at the Badshah’s encampment. Several thousand persons go with
the camp and it lacks nothing. Even bathing facilities are a big affair. The
magnificence and majesty of the Mogul Emperor was unrivalled and was the
reality imagined by poets. Shah Jahan and Aurangzeb outdid Jehangir. The
number of soldiers became so great that it began to be unmanageable. The
soldiers began to loot the villages. This is the way oppression of the populace
developed. From all this luxury and because of the army, the cost of
government became insupportable and under pressure collapsed.
The British were becoming greedy rulers and were trying to cover a vast
empire of ever-expanding perimeter. But they are not a sufficiently vigilant and
supervising people. Often there is news of uprising. A few selfish British
ministers are bringing such a big empire under their control, incurring the
expense of more and more armed forces. “It will crumble to pieces out of sheer
weight.”

Chapter VIII

Swamiji’s comparison of Indian and English fighters

There was a discussion about the fighting between England and China.
Goodwin said that the British Empire had been established by the heroism of
the British themselves, and for this reason they would preserve it. Swamiji
showed a little annoyance and began to tell the true history. “What have the
British done in the China war or any other war? Our Indian soldiers have gone
everywhere and fought, and spilt their blood in building this empire and handed
the victory to the British. This great empire has come into being through Indian
blood and Indian money. What have you British done? Indians earned the profit
you are eating up. Who fought in Egypt? It was our soldiers. Your empire has
grown so big; wherever you have been successful, the Indian soldiers have
fought. They have poured their blood like water and their money without stint
so you have got a big empire. How many British were in the battle of Plassy?
All were our countrymen and they defeated the British. When has your race
showed courage in battle? Cowards themselves, by hypnotizing others, they
lord it over the world. Remember it – some day the British Empire will become
the Indian Empire. Just as the Romans conquered Spain, Germany, Greece etc.
and later Spaniard and Germans came and sat as Roman emperors – so will it
be with you.”
Goodwin could not take this and said, “No, Swami, your men do not know
how to fight.” Swamiji, becoming more heated, replied, “Our Indians don’t
know how to fight? When Alexander of the Greeks conquered Persia and,
swollen with pride, invaded India, who first opposed him? It was a Hindu king,
Porus, who satisfied his thirst for battle. In the battle of Arbela an Indian army
helped the Persian Emperor Darius a great deal. That is why Alexander decided
to fight with the Indians. You say our Indians don’t know fighting! From time
out of mind Indians have been famous for their prowess. But they don’t know
the treachery of the British people, that ingratitude. Don’t you know? During
the Mutiny the soldiers said, “For many days we have eaten the salt of the
British; now they are in danger, they cannot survive.” So they, through nobility,
again set up the foreign government. The Hindus have a chivalrous spirit. And
you, this race you call so great and boast of, you have taken India by swindles.
You didn’t even have a pillow under your head: you were a poor, worthless
race. You were laggers-behind in European history. The French were the
foremost. It was only by acquiring India, India’s wealth, that you grew strong.
But when the Indians shake off their delusion and wake up from inner sleep,
they will squeeze you like a lemon.”
Goodwin now insisted: “You are a great man, no doubt, but your men do not
know how to govern themselves. We, the British people, are the best men to
govern India.”
Swamiji then got more excited and told him how Chandragupta’s
Megasthenes had reported the good panchayat system, the absence of theft, the
people’s regard for truth etc., and it was no exaggeration. He also said that
wherever the British influence has not penetrated and native rule still prevails,
the people are happier and disturbance is less. The British seek only to enrich
their own land. “And still you say what you say.”
Swamiji told Goodwin that in the course of conversation a few days before,
with a General, he had said this about the British having needed India and its
wealth to raise their status, and the General himself had said that it was the
acquisition of India which gave the British expansion in all directions.
Goodwin knew little of Indian history or even ancient British; he read the
papers. So what he learned from Swamiji surprised him. Of course he protested
at pronouncements such as these, but through such arguments his faith
and sraddha in Swami Vivekananda grew more sincere.

On the Indian “Congress”

Swamiji was in this mood for a few days. Talking with Swami Saradananda
about “Congress” [the early promoters of self-government], he said, “Why are
the Indian people raising such a fuss about this ‘Congress!, Congress?’ What
use is there in a few noisy persons gathering in a place to beat their gums? Let
them sit down, declare ‘From today we are self-governing.’ Let them send this
declaration. Then see the hue and cry. Most people don’t even know there is in
the world, a country called India. Why has America got a response throughout
the world? Is it just a matter of kicking up a fuss? One must work on without
anxiety. I want to work through due process (lawfully) and if any bullets hit the
chest, let them hit mine first of all!” he said, pacing the floor. “Let the bullets
rain on my chest; America, Europe – they will feel the shake, they will then
understand what Vivekananda is! If my blood spills there will be a world-wide
reaction. Let Congress make an outright Declaration of Independence. Sitting
and whining like old women – what will that do?” Swami Saradananda and
Mohendra heard in silence. Then he spoke of the oppression of the barbaric
Russian government, and how the Tartar tribes had given a lot of trouble, but
were now under control because of the terribly strict administration of the
Russians. He noted that the Russian lands are all together in one place. It is not
so convenient for the British in this respect, since, unlike the Russians their
territory is broken up into little pieces and they have to manage that. Swamiji
often used to say that a composite empire like this could never hold together
long.

The East India Co. and The Indian Mutiny

The subject of the Mutiny came up again. Swamiji said, “The administration
by the East India Co. was very bad at first. They ignored [the British]
Parliament and everything else. This commercial company got a vast empire.
Were they out to do business or to establish rule? At first, gain was their sole
object, and their waywardness had that object. Gradually even the Indian
sepoys got annoyed. But there was no single leader for them. The Mussalmans
wanted to make the Delhi emperor strong again. The Hindus got excited and
wanted to make a government under Bajirao’s son, Nanasaheb. Other petty
princes tried to come forward to be independent. No one would listen to anyone
else. The sepoys had learned the English method of warfare but had neither
leader nor supplies. At last they began to loot for a handful of rice, even from
their own Government. Hindus and Muslims began to pillage each other. The
sepoys fell into such a condition that for obtaining provisions they had to sell
their strings of pearls. The British, getting this opportunity, armed new native
sepoys, subdued the Mutiny and conquered India again. As a result of the
mismanagement of the East India Company the administration was transferred
to Parliament. Then much more method and order came, but the humiliation
and scorn were as much, only of a different sort.

Inventiveness in America

One day in conversation Swamiji spoke about the wheels of horse carriages.
“Staying in America for several years I saw that America creates new things in
every field. And I have been around and seen many places in Europe;
everything is old and antiquated — smudgy, ugly things. In all America I saw
smart, novel things, whether in building, in shoes, in dress, shirt buttons – there
everything is clean and neat, all of a new type. I decided that in the race there is
a vigorous living power. And in England everything is of an old type. I saw the
American horse carriage wheels: thin, very fine, looking as if when you pressed
them they would break, but so strong and durable. Do you know how they do
it? [Then he describes the pressuring of the seasoned wood.] They are clean and
light. It brought delight and upliftment to the heart to see American products.
They are demonstrating the power of Man.” Swamiji became ebullient. To
Mohendra he said, “Go. Go to America. What will you get out of England?
There is a new country of new enthusiasm; seeing it your mind will expand and
a new mentality will come. No new idea comes to this old place. If one wishes
to do something in his own way he must see America. People staying in an old
country get antiquated – no new idea comes to them at all.”
He talked about food and said it was a very old custom to eat onions with
meat. In Polish “Pol” means meat, and Polish “with meat, another name for
onions. He said fried onions were indigestible and gave stomach trouble, but
boiled they were useful and cleared the bowels, hence so widely consumed.

Swamiji as a singer

Swamiji, on days when he was feeling happy, would hum Bengali songs.
Goodwin could not understand them nor did the tunes please him. One day
after breakfast Swamiji went upstairs where Goodwin, Swami Saradananda and
Mohendra were. The conversation was about Indian music and with Swami
Saradananda some talk of Indian and European music began. The gist of it was
that in India there are big singers and their methods of singing also are of
different types. Swami Saradananda tried to make this clear. Among those in
Calcutta who specialize in drupad style Swamiji knew one big one in
particular. Goodwin could not follow. Swami Saradananda easily made him
understand that Swamiji was a fine singer and was reckoned among the best in
Calcutta. Goodwin, much surprised, clapped his hands. “Why, I never knew
that!,” he exclaimed. “I knew he was a great philosopher and a great speaker
but never knew that he was a singer!” And he expressed his joy in various
gestures, so happy he was to add the least glory to Swami Vivekananda.
A Swedish or Norwegian scientist named S.A. Andree was going with some
companions up in a balloon to explore the Arctic. A lot was written of this in
the papers. When all the others were talking of it one afternoon, Swamiji was
silent. Goodwin and Sturdy were praising the people and the idea, saying it
would mean the opening of a new passage in the world, etc., but Swamiji said
nothing and seemed a bit depressed. He only said, “They will go by balloon, no
doubt, but there is no certainty that they will come back.”[This prediction had
been voiced by several experts]. Hearing this all were taken aback and the
happiness they had felt was dissipated. The fact that there is another side to
every affair was realized by all and they remained silent. As it happened,
Andree and party never returned and nothing was heard of them. [Thirty-three
years later three corpses were found on White Island along with Andree’s
diary.]

Part II

(Part II is not divided into chapters)

Analysis of “Duty”

On duty and love. One day in the course of his lecture Swami Vivekananda
began to speak to his audience in a new vein.
“There is in English the word duty, meaning that work which one is obliged
to do. Westerners do all their work impelled by this idea. Some powerful man,
getting a weaker one under his control through fear or hope of gain, intimidates
him. In all this work, whether such a person wants to do it or not, there is no
consideration, as a lord giving orders to his slave takes his service without
making any study of how he feels about it. “Duty expresses this idea about
work. But Indians think differently about it. Their idea is to work with love. It
is love that is the motive power of work. Sanskrit has no word corresponding to
the former idea of duty, because the Hindus never thought of it in that way.
Love means self-expansion or self-emanation. in any object or work the Self or
I is seen in unmanifest or manifested form. So for the gain of that object or that
work, the soul exerts itself. What is called in English the incentive for action, or
the desire to be impelled to work – the purpose is to get one’s own image into
the thing.
“All work is to be done through love. It is only through love that the mother
goes fearlessly to give her life to save her child in danger.
There is a bargaining mentality in “duty.” One person is doing work as if like a
corpse or inert matter. It is like a commercial proposition. The Hindus’ idea is
different. They are eager to love or to see the Atman in the object, so they try to
do all work through love, not commercial mentality. It is love that is the road to
action.
“Why am I distressed at the suffering of another?” was the subject matter to
one of Swamiji’s lectures. “European philosophers have written a lot of
different ideas about this. One section of them say, ‘This fate may be mine in
the future, so I must be ready to sympathize and try to remedy it or ward it off.’
No higher ideal than this is present. Another group says, ‘Without this mutual
aid society will fall into disorder. Fellow-feeling among neighbors will
disappear and the power to do cooperative work will dwindle.’ This is the
reason given for sympathy.” Then he began to show the profound ideas of the
Hindu sastras.

“The Hindu idea is different. It sees that within every soul and object there is
the one Brahman. It is Brahman which has manifested in a thousand forms,
covered with various veils such as objects, souls and living beings.’

All-pervadingness expounded

Another day he said, “In the whole creation there is a continuity or sequence.
I see something as a gross object but its subtle aspect is covering it. This subtle
form is encased in another, very fine form. Finally, I feel that I am different
from, or cut off from that which puts me in touch with, or joins me to, the
whole of creation up to the heavens; then fear or depression come into the
human heart. Not being able to understand, oftentimes, due to our weakness,
we become cut off (so we think) and fear is introduced. But when I see that I
exist in the gross and I am in touch with all on the subtle plane, and I am united
with all, and gradually that I extend to subtler and subtler worlds, into the
whole of sky, the firmament, the sun, outer space – then ananda enters my
heart, and courage comes. If one body is destroyed, I remain in another. The
dissolution of one body means that the molecules of one center have become
separated but they are joined up with another center.
If we can get this idea, then there is no worry about death. While one portion is
being disintegrated another portion or form is being integrated elsewhere. This
vibration or impulse extends pervading the whole creation and fashions it
accordingly. In the midst of this vibrational continuum no spot can remain
empty or void. ‘Nature abhors a vacuum.’
A few days before, Swamiji had been filled with the scientific spirit. That is
why on all these days, whatever he explained was expounded from a scientific
standpoint. We used to see that whatever mood he was absorbed in, according
to that the lecture would be; in a bhakti mood he spoke devotional things; jnana
likewise. Whatever stories he had heard in childhood from his mother or
grandmother, he would tell; sometimes he would repeat these from memory,
but the direction of application would be his own, original. Always he would
lose himself in the subject. No occasion for low-mindedness or petty anxiety
was ever to be found in him. Thinker and thought seemed to become one, and it
was difficult to say which was uppermost, so much was he one with what he
spoke.
“The universe is one undifferentiated mass of energy. If any new thing
formed outside the creation, it would not have any place in the universe.
Because the universe is all-pervading, there is no split or gap in it anywhere.”
Sometimes he spoke so far over the heads of the audience that no one could
follow. Mohendra remembers a lecture in which he said, “Every point is a
center, but nowhere is the center.” No one seemed to understand.
Once he recounted the experiment of a professor. In the pursuit of truth,
before he reached what he was after, he saw a new thing: it was as if a
completely new truth was staring him in the face. Utterly still, unmoving for a
moment, uttering prolonged sighs, the professor said, “It is all one great Void!”
Swamiji said “Ordinary people, unable to understand this Fullness describe it as
a void.”

The term Hiranyagarbha

Another day: “Hiranya-garbha: this idea was current among the Hindus
from ancient times. This entity has been revered for a long time as an aspect of
manifestation of God. Hiranyagarbha stands between the manifest and the
Unmanifest. We can comprehend the former, but the manifest does not emerge
totally from the Unmanifest. This state of transition or Point of Polarization is
call Hiranyagarbha. What the unmanifest condition is, we cannot get by using
speech or the power of thought etc., but we understand that it is. Mentation
intimates, as a glimpse, that unmanifested state. But we cannot perceive this by
cogitation. This intermediate ground is called Hiranyagarbha.”
In fact, his lectures were not something to hear or understand; they were the
concretization of ideas before one’s very eyes. He had an extraordinary power
to make explicit the series of ideas which were being given out. Swamiji and
his audience were detached from their bodies for the time being, so to speak,
and he made them see these things directly. He had acquired a great surplus of
this power; that is why he touched and seized upon the heart so much, in his
lectures.
That is why one can remember in this way what he said, even now. There is a
vast difference between hearing his lecture and reading his books.
Explaining the subject of meditation one day Swamiji said, “Everything we
see in the sense-bound world, its picture is on our conscious plane. Every
moment new ideas, my knowledge of previously known objects – all are going
from the conscious plane down to the subconscious where they stay for a long
time. They rise again to the conscious when they get a fit stimulus. When we
are drawn in toward the Inner Self, leaving the gross body for the subtle, that is
the superconscious, and when time, space and causation are left far behind,
then the idea or the perception is seen in all clarity, this is superconsciousness.

Lectures on Raja Yoga

He particularly used to say, “I don’t believe in anything called miracles.

There is a demonstrable cause for every event and that cause has it
corresponding effect or manifestation. It is Raja Yoga that gives the diagnosis
of the subtle causes. Even if I have not performed all the feats of Raja Yoga, I
have come to the conclusion, about what I have done, that all that is written
there is believable.” That is why he used to say (when questioned), “The book
says so. The yogis of old following a method and being assured, have written
all that. Have some gentlemanly faith [written in English].” “In Raja Yoga
some ignorant person suddenly stumbling upon a truth made a big fuss over it
to other untutored people, and ordinary folk all took it as a work of wonder and
miracle. But Raja Yoga is a scientific system. Its every dictum was tested by
experiment and all can try it for themselves.”
The Raja Yoga series began. It was very crowded. Previously Swamiji had
fascinated his audience with Bhakti Yoga, recounting episodes from the
Puranas. But when they were able to grasp that, he returned to his own favorite
them, expounding and explaining the Advaitavada. When he had first told them
about the various preliminaries of the Raja Yoga, he would make them
concentrate and gradually and imperceptibly lift their minds to the highest
plane of meditation. We mentioned elsewhere that one evening he had said, “I
am in the sun, I am in the moon, I am everywhere in the earth.” This lecture
was of a very high order. His audience became utterly absorbed in the
explanation of how the ego, now identified with this miserable little body, can
feel itself all-pervading. This brought a new conception far beyond the
Christian one.
Another day he had said, “I am a voice without form.” And another day,
“Personal God is a big superstition.”
One part of this lecture was about our being hypnotized. He said, “In spite of
the marvelous innate power that is in us, we are always surprised by our own
strength, like one hypnotized. Forgetting the Atman we always suppose
ourselves weak. But when we come to know the power of the Atman, or have
the sleeping Atman awakened, this befuddled condition departs and we
manifest our own lion-like strength.”
Nearly all that Swamiji said in the R.I.P.W. gallery has come out in book
form, i.e., Jnana Yoga and Bhakti Yoga. So I need not repeat it here [but will
add a little more.] “If I meditate on the brains of a Buddha, I become a Buddha;
if on the brains of a Sankara, I become a Sankara.” (Speaking of his own
method of inspiration): “Somebody never seen before appears and stands
before me; I see and speak with him; nothing of what is said is my own.” From
these few words we can understand to what a high state Swamiji was raised up.
He used to call this ‘visualizing the idea’ – he would clearly see the ideas at the
time of giving the lecture
Phenomena connected to Swamiji’s Lectures

After Sunday lectures he would either go home or go elsewhere with Sturdy.

When they would arrive there on Sunday afternoon Swamiji would chat and
joke with his acquaintances like one come to hear the discourse. There would
be no sign of the fact that he was the speaker, no sort of nervousness could be
seen.
At the hour appointed Swamiji would enter the large hall. [Same description
as before]. His voice slowly grew louder, the tones coming in waves of
authority and certainty. The expression by his hands, in speaking, was
something peculiar to him as a speaker; it was particularly attractive and
authoritative. Such is possible for a trained and skilful actor, but not usually for
a non-professional.
Often it was seen that Swamiji, coming down from the platform, would go
up to Goodwin and gently and anxiously ask him, “Goodwin, I must be crazy,
what was wrong? What was I seeing, standing in space before me? I saw that
and my heart palpitated. I can’t make head or tail of it. Won’t people say I am
crazy? You know, they are British and I am an Indian – a subject race. Take
good care of me, lest they call me crazy and pelt me on the street!” He sounded
a bit pathetic, like a child. Goodwin would be surprised and say, “Swamiji,
today you spoke beautifully.” Like a child, then, Swamiji would ask, “What did
I say? What did I say?” Then Goodwin would report to him the lecture of that
day. Amazed, Swamiji would say, “What does it mean?” When given the
meaning he would say, “Write and keep all this. I like it very much.” It was as
if he were a child or young man who had heard something inspiring. He often
used to say, “I am really a crazy man. Is there anything in my head? Yet in
front of me stands a living picture; its hand and mouth move and my heart
throbs when I see it. I cannot make head or tail of it. I am the same old booby.”

Goodwin has a problem; Swamiji’s solution

Out of necessity for a worker in America, Swamiji instructed Swami

Saradananda to prepare to go there. The latter was at first unwilling because
after many years he had got Swamiji’s company, of which he was very fond,
and did not wish to give this up. In the end he had to go.
Goodwin’s financial position was not good. He usually ate in the house and
sometimes would go to a hotel. Swamiji gave him money. One morning
Swamiji, the other Swami, Goodwin and Mohendra were sitting together.
Sturdy and Miss Muller were not present and Goodwin, sensing his
opportunity, spoke his mind. He said with sadness that those two did not care
for him and did not like sharing the lodgings. So he felt he must eat outside,
and having no money and no contacts in London, he could not make his living
as a stenographer here. He had many friends in the United States. If he were to
go there he would be able to meet his own expenses. Swamiji, hearing him,
said sadly, “Why? Why not try here?”
Goodwin replied, “Yes, of course I could, but if I have to work outside for
three or four hours, how will your affairs go on? How will you manage?”
Swamiji kept glum and silent. His thoughts could clearly be understood from
his face. Goodwin, understanding Swamiji’s thought again expressed himself.
“Why are you worried, Swamiji? By staying outside and working a couple of
hours I will get my living. I’ll take a room and board nearby and come at
lecture time, and whenever I get leisure, I’ll come and do your work. It is now
uncomfortable for me to stay here. They also don’t like it, and I think I should
go elsewhere.”
Swamiji said nothing in particular, and Goodwin spent three or four days
outside. One morning Swamiji said to him, “Sarat is going to America. Go with
him. Sarat is a new man and doesn’t know American customs. If you stay with
him you can give him much help. Goodwin replied, “But I have no means of
subsistence over there!” Swamiji: “You won’t need to worry about that. I will
arrange it.”
At first Goodwin was not willing to take any money; then he agreed when
Swamiji repeatedly said, “Take Mohan with you. All three of you go together.
Compared to London, in New York there are many subjects to study. There is
constantly a powerful independence there, whereas in London men are not so
courageous. There is another advantage: if you stay there in the house of a
certain person, every care will be taken of you.” Here he mentioned the
American preoccupation with electricity (“America is full of electricity.”) He
had the desire that Indians should study that science in the United States and
bring it to India. Then the country would be beautified (or benefited) – this was
his firm conviction. For this he told Mohendra again and again to go to
America and study electricity. But at that time Mohendra was enamored of the
famous Reading Room of the British Museum and therefore unwilling to leave
it.
Goodwin put a lot of effort into trying to get Mohendra to accompany then.
Sometimes by sweet words, sometimes by scolding or by joking and teasing he
tried to get him to change his mind. Goodwin said, “If you stay here I will kill
you! Come on! Come to a new country and see what fun. I will get you work
with Edison. I’m acquainted with a friend of his.” Sometimes Swami
Saradananda would say sadly, “What, Mohim! I am in London, hearing
Swamiji’s lectures; now I have to leave and go off to America. And there I
shall have to lecture! I know I have not studied anything. Anyway, I shall, as
Swamiji has commanded, salute Thakur, stand up and try to say something. If it
proves all right, I will stay awhile. If not, I run away to Calcutta. Why all this
nuisance? I will beg my food some place. How did this lecturing business get
into my head? I have never given a lecture in my life, but I will try to stand up
and speak. And I am quite used to getting abuse. I will get it again. But when
Naren has spoken, let me give it a try.”

Mohendra’s candid account of Swamiji’s moods

Something must be said here about the petulant moods of Swamiji. All day
and half the night he would work tirelessly. Many times he said, “The way I
work is enough to drive ten men crazy. That I am still sane even now is
miracle!” So from time to time he displayed moods of irritation. No one else
could keep pace with (or cope with) his tremendous power. Sometimes it would
be Swami Saradananda, sometimes Mohendra, sometimes Goodwin, to whom
he would give unbearably sharp scolding. As soon as he felt, for various
reasons, bodily fatigue, he would use this sort of harsh language, but a little
later, forgetting the whole thing, he would regain his normal mood. No one else
would store up that biting utterance either, but then again no one argued with
him. All those who had the good fortune to live with Swamiji were accustomed
to that. This was a special feature of his nature. For, when the power of a
mighty person meets a little obstruction an unusual pain comes over his body or
mind and he feels angry, but this abates shortly.
It is no permanent anger. It is necessary for us to know about this matter,
otherwise the portrait of Swami Vivekananda will be incomplete. This is
clearly indicated in many places in his letters. [Here Mohendra cites the letters
of St. Paul to show similar behavior.] Swamiji was not endowed with “dasya
bhava”; he was the dictator type. He always said, “My people, my country.” He
acted in the singular, not in the plural. With the anger-less calm, soft, polite
attitude of a Bengali devotee, no one can understand Swami Vivekananda.

Off to America

Soon the day for going to America drew near. Swami Saradananda packed
his things ready in a portmanteau. Swamiji gave Goodwin some pounds. The
ship was to sail from Liverpool to New York. All arrangements were made.
Swamiji said, “It would be better for Mohendra to go to a new country. This is
a very old, conservative place. Everything has a contracted air about it, old
ways are current.” Then he went away and Goodwin tried to play Swami
Vivekananda with Mohendra.
One day Goodwin put on a shirt given him by Swamiji (reaching from neck
to knees). Swami Saradananda wound a turban around Goodwin’s head.
Looking in the mirror, seeing that he was looking much like an Indian, he was
jubilant. Suddenly he remembered that as he was leaving London, he must meet
and argue with the elderly housekeeper. He loved a joke; so he went to the
basement and said to the housekeeper, “I am a jnani – a jnani, not a bhakta!” At
first she did not recognize him. After ruffling her up a bit he returned. The next
morning Swami Saradananda and Goodwin left Liverpool on their journey to
the United States. Goodwin’s mind being much drawn to jnana, his sannyasi
name was Jnanananda [No mention is made of any sannyasa ceremony.]
What Swami Saradananda later told Mohendra about the American visit is
being related here. “Well, brother, I had not studied much and had never given
a lecture, but because of Naren’s insistence I had to do it. Then again he might
get so angry he could even hit someone in front of everyone. How could I
lecture in English? Even my speaking in it is halting. I decided if it didn’t come
out right I would go right off home via Japan. But when he has said it, I would
raise my voice like the secondary singer in a singing party. Then it came to me
that Goodwin was having books printed. On the ship I took his proofs and sat
as if for examination. I began calling earnestly on Thakur and made this prayer:
whatever may happen to me, let Naren not lose face, for it is he who is sending
me and if the work goes wrong, he will be blamed.
“We reached New York duly. Goodwin took care of everything. We went to
Mrs. Ole Bull’s house in Cambridge. She was of Swedish [Norwegian]-
American descent. She gave me her book, Memoirs of Ole Bull.
Swami Saradananda’s American “debut”

In her house was held a small Conference of Religions, to which many

important people were invited. The famous philosopher Prof. [Wm.] James and
many other notables came to meet Swami Saradananda. They respected him
highly and he had plenty of influence. Seeing his steadymindedness, gentleness
and politeness everyone accepted and became fond of him. In one or two letters
written to Sturdy and Fox at this time there is written: “Though he has not the
brilliance of Vivekananda, he is a sadhu (of the three qualities mentioned
above). Later: “Everyone is especially fond of him.”
Swami Saradananda once told Mohendra, “In one place there was a very big
meeting in a tent [Greenacre?]. I was not accustomed to speaking to such a big
gathering and was a bit nervous. Goodwin was with me and was a spirited
fellow. He began to encourage me in various ways. And I did, in fact, talk in
that way. Everyone listened eagerly and with deep attention. You can imagine
Goodwin’s joy! And he said I had spoken in the same mood as the Gita and
the Chandi. Gradually exhausting all my ideas, I got into a scrape. If I said the
same thing over and over, who would listen? I called hard on Thakur and after
a few days an unlimited enthusiasm arose in my heart. I lectured in a new vein
and the place was crowded. My mouth opened up. Money came too. I thought I
had better stay on a few years. But what was my fate? Your big brother spoiled
everything. Suddenly a letter came from Belur Math telling me to return to
Calcutta with certain ladies. Goodbye lectures, everything gone to pieces. I
don’t know lecturing. I don’t know work either; to carry out Swamiji’s orders is
my raison d’être. I have done my job.”
From this bit of conversation it can be well understood what a great faith
Swamiji had in this Swami, who would have considered it highly reprehensible
to go against his word. Prestige, name, position were nothing to him. Such
sincere love for Swamiji has seldom been seen. Moreover he was willing and
persevering under all circumstances. Because he was steady and courteous he
never showed his own will or power. If anything was brought up about himself,
he would bury all that under his humility. This was his special greatness. He
showed it time after time throughout his life.

Recollections of Raja Yoga lectures

Now to the twice-a-day lectures on Raja Yoga. Goodwin took them all down.
Although Swamiji had a translation of the Yoga Sutras together with brief
written commentaries, when he gave the lectures an independent commentary
and ideas of his own would come out. The sound of his voice, the look of his
face, the glance of his eyes – all were his own. Very profound, sweet,
commanding, endearing – all different from what was seen at the lecture time.
He became of such unusual appearance, no one had the capacity to look him in
the face for long. It wasn’t Bengal’s Narendranath Dutt any more. There was a
great power named Vivekananda in that body.
Let no one suppose that Swamiji had made his Raja Yoga explanations by
appropriate forethought. Anyone who assumes that idea has not known or
understood him at all; rather, he will have formed a completely false notion of
him. Swamiji at every point would say, “I never preach what I do not practice.”
It was not that he just told the people about his Brahmajnana, his experience
beyond the senses; he made them feel, in some measure, all these things, with
his teaching. Coming to hear Swamiji’s Raja Yoga lectures and sitting still for
an hour and a half in meditation were really the same thing. He would make
them realize much of what he had himself realized. It was Goodwin alone who
wrote down and kept all the instructions, but the ordinary listener would not
take special notice of Swamiji’s points. Mohendra will now report what he
remembers and just what he thinks was said. Goodwin’s [unpublished] material
has all been lost and apparently there is no hope of recovering it. Mohendra’s
account will be like a grain of sand beside the Himalayan compass of the
former, but perhaps better than nothing at all!

Among the meditation instructions: “Just as I am sitting here looking at you

before me, so one can meditate fruitfully. That is, just as we are sitting here in
our physical bodies and looking at each other, we meditate as if it were on
another form of our own body.” He mentioned another method: “Think that
your gross body has fallen dead and you are looking down at it; meditating in
this way, you can quickly have the understanding of the difference between the
gross and subtle bodies. But this is a bit difficult in the early stages. Think:
my ishta is before me. I am seated near him with my mind gathered. Next think
that gradually he is entering my body; finally the Lord and his devotee have
become one body. Sometimes the devotee in his subtle body enters the body of
the ishta and, staying there awhile, from inside the ishta the devotee is looking
at his former (own) gross body – thus by changing things around in one’s view
the discrimination between gross and subtle bodies comes.
About concentrating on a point of light, he said that at first by meditating in
this way there may come at the back of the head a kind of throbbing which may
be unpleasant. But by meditating, this can be stopped. It is not good to meditate
strenuously (forcing oneself): it often creates obstacles.
He made special mention of how sakti enters the ida and pingala or opens
the path. “When we are meditating and the sakti approaches
the ida,pingala and sushumna, it feels as if the nerves are being torn out
(or torn up), or as if a red hot iron wire were piercing the flesh – it can feel just
like that. If because of this one finds at the time of sadhana an increased need
for urination, or perspiration on the brow, there is no need to worry. As soon as
the back of the head throbs, stop your meditation. One should not overdo.
“While meditating on the fixed point (of light) you may at first see a number
of black spots like a swarm of flies. Now try to think of these as pale, white, or
even shining like fireflies; slowly try to make them stop moving and stand still.
Of course it all depends on your meditation; they will take these forms only as
your concentration deepens. Then all these will gradually come together and
take on a vague sort of smoky color. Soon it will be both steady and clear, and
look like a steady object, though the smoky color remains and its light or
effulgence is yet to come. Finally it will stand before you clear, bright and
effulgent. On a day when your meditation is deep like this, it will present this
clear picture or form, and as your inner power diminishes, so will the said
picture fade. He always said, “Because you don’t get results right away, don’t
give it all up; do a little bit of sadhana and you will understand its value.”

Recommended food

“At the time of sadhana stimulating foods should not be eaten. Rice, bread,
milk, banana and other fruits are best. It is good if one does not take meat or
fish, but fasting is not necessary. You can take bread, fruit or milk three times,
or four or five times a day. Eating little is good, not filling up. Notice what does
not cause wind in the stomach and lassitude in the body and take accordingly.
Also what keeps the mind pure. By observing this much discipline the mind
will quickly progress on the path of meditation.”
The meditation room. [First part as given in Raja Yoga.] “Always think of it
as a place for meditation. Keep it pure by means of a few flowers, fruits,
incense etc. Let its air be fresh and the mind will concentrate automatically.
Keeping in the room some pictures of perfected souls or some symbolic figures
too is good, because all these accessory things bring an attitude ofsraddha into
the mind.
“Asana. When you keep to one seat and make japa there with concentrated
mind for some time, some of the japa’s power lies hidden in that
habitual asana and it will rise and help you on a day when the mind is restless
or lazy, so always keep it pure.”
As an example of the holiness clinging to special places, he mentioned that a
certain person had entered a secluded mountain cave and sat doing japa for
many days until he gave up his body. No one knew his name, place of origin or
anything about him. But if any advanced sadhaka now goes into that cave, he
will know as soon as he enters it that it is a holy place. And he will declare that
a perfected soul had lived there, because the power left there reveals itself to
the newcomer.
Japa. “Unceasingly one should make japa of some pure word or the name of
a perfected soul. At first it will be with the tongue, or gross body, but as it goes
on uninterruptedly, the japa becomes inward and springs up inside the body.
Then it goes from the tongue to mind, and gradually all the subtle nerves of the
body pick up the japa. As one goes on doing this, a certain power arises from
inside; then the gross body becomes different, and does not seem so heavy,
inert or indolent.
The dejected and impure moods which we feel in our ordinary state do not
come any more. Then the body feels quite light and gay; there is enthusiasm
and difficult matters seem easy to understand. Swamiji said: “I have done
continuous japa; it is in every atom of my body. I have done it to the very tips
of my fingers. As we now experience the objects of the world in our gross
body, when we go to the subtle body, all this is experienced in another way and
that is full of joy (ananda) and affection.”
Good effects of continual japa

Swamiji said, “By doing perpetual japa the mind takes a higher direction. On
going to a certain plane, the mind becomes very dispirited, and as if not being
able to see or do anything more, as if empty and vapid, as if there is not longer
any capacity for japa or meditation. This is called a point of polarization. Many
get frightened at this point. But either by faith or grace or some other means if
one can go beyond this, again one goes on into a higher groove. In this state,
phenomenon becomes noumenon, in other words, the visible universe vanishes
and the supersensuous appears. Whether through one’s own strength or through
the grace of an illumined soul or by all means taken together, this barrier must
be crossed.
“By continually doing japa and meditation, when the mind goes beyond even
the subtle body, from within the hidden power or latent energy wakes up; this is
called ojas. When it goes downward, offspring are produced, but when directed
upwards the mind proceeds toward Brahman. When it goes in different
directions to different organs, various activities result. If it goes to the eyes, the
aspirant gets clairvoyance; to the ears, clairaudience, to the nose, smelling at a
distance, and if, going up into the head, it reaches thesahasrara, there is
samadhi. This ojas finds various modes of expression through the sushumna. In
one whose eyes are naturally strong, the ojas first tries to find expression
through the eyes; then through the nose, ears and other organs. In one who is
‘ear-minded,’ ojas gets expression there and so on. It is not by taking a lot of
food that ojas is increased: otherwise those who can eat the most would have
the most, which is far from the case. They do not depend on so much food;
food is helpful only to a small degree. Ojasis an independent thing; it arises
from within the sushumna through uninterrupted japa or other similar activity.
The difference in this ojas is what make the difference in speakers.”
On the day of this lecture on ojas the discourse became most profound.
Everyone felt an upliftment of heart and the banishment of weak thoughts by
new strength.

Some of the siddhis, psychic powers

Thought-reading. Swamiji said that it was not a particularly difficult business

and can be learned in a few days’ effort. “First bring yourself into a bodiless or
subtle-body state. You must be completely active and the thing to be seen,
passive. Then in your subtle body enter the body of another person. Thus you
can discover every thought arising in his mind; nothing remains hidden. But
this is not salutary. It will often be useful, rather, to enter the mind of sadhus
and mahatmas, as their minds are on a high level. But if one enters a person of
low life, all those thoughts may come upon oneself and one may be
permanently affected, and fall. There is another difficulty: there comes an
inordinate inclination or desire to be praised by people, and with this there is a
great increase in egotism in which also one falls down.”
Staring at the sun. In one lecture Swamiji said, “In India there is one type of
sadhu who makes japa from sunrise to sunset while staring at the sun. In
conversation with them I learned that at first the eyes water, get inflamed, and
everything looks black; but after some days’ practice, it becomes possible to go
on staring at the blazing sun. But those who follow this practice have some
object or desire in view. I do not think it leads to any elevation of mind or God-
vision.”
Raised arms. Another sort [of ascetic] keep one or both arms upraised.
Swamiji said, “Talking with them I saw that they first keep the arm fastened to
a tree branch or some other high thing. At first there is excruciating pain, as if
one is about to die, but after being endured for some days the pain lessens and
the muscles of the joints atrophy, after which there is no more sensation. There
is no necessity at all to do these things; they are all done for selfish purposes.”

Science and effects of prana control

Pranayama. “It means controlling one’s vital force. Many think it means just
breathing exercises, but actually it is not; that is only a small part of it. The
whole world is constructed of two things: one is called akasa. It is not the void
we see above us, but is that in the void which is real. What is ordinarily seen is
not the akasa. When the mind of a yogi stays in thecittakasa or mind-space, he
discerns another person’s mental content or a supernatural order. But when it
goes to the cidakasa, then the experience is contentless, the Self shines in its
own glory. This akasa is one all-pervading existence. It is so subtle that it is
beyond ordinary experience. When this becomes transformed into some shape,
it comes into our ken. It is in thisakasa that the creation remains at first, and
into it again that it finds dissolution.” Here Swamiji discussed and compared
many philosophical views.
“Akasa through the power of prana, becomes the universe. As akasa is the
all-pervading substratum of the whole world, so prana is the all-pervading
developing power of the universe’s origin. Everything becomes changed
to akasa at the beginning and end of the kalpa, and all the forces get merged in
prana, and from it again all power becomes manifest. If one becomes adept
in pranayama the door to infinite power is opened.
Pranayama is a process of knowing and understanding the true nature of this
force (which controls breath etc.) The word prana applies to the senses, mind
and all. It is the name of the one Power. Those perfected inpranayama are able
to accomplish “supernatural” deeds. These are not miracles; everything is a
miracle to the ignorant.
“By rhythmical breathing the body can be kept well. From olden times the
soldiers used to stand in an open area, keep the spine straight, and march etc.
according to a rule; so they were healthier and stronger than ordinary men.
Yogis can throw off disease if they so wish.
I have taken medicine by the carload, but have had no special benefit from that.
At last, when I firmly put disease out of my mind, from that moment I became
healthy. The yogi, if he likes, can by touch or glance control illness or even
banish it.” (Here it is necessary to remark that Swamiji cured the malarial fever
of one-and-a-half-years’ standing, of the writer, by his sheer will. He and
Swami Saradananda were on the fourth floor of the house, and Swamiji, from
the first floor projected his power and cured Mohendra.)
“The way we breathe ordinarily is quite uncontrolled. Then too, there is a
natural difference between men’s and women’s breathing. So it is necessary to
regulate breath because that will keep the whole body well.
If one practices pranayama sadhana for a few days, one will quite clearly
understand that the voice has become affectionate, sweet and melodious. I have
never seen a yogi with a croaking voice. Even in ripe old age flesh of the face
may be wrinkled but it is firm as a child’s. All the lines of the face which show
dryness or harshness disappear and the color brightens. The mind becomes
filled with peace. This peaceful mood and happiness of eye, face and body are
clearly visible outwardly. After practicing for some time one gets this
appearance. But it must be borne in mind that all this depends on the sadhana.”
The ladies of the audience hearing all this were quite happy and began to think
that all other parts of Raja Yoga were less important than pranayama.
Pratyahara and dharana were taken up [There is nothing in this particular
section not in the book Raja Yoga].
“To control the mind requires a special sadhana. Those who can control their
own minds can control others’ also. They can awaken in others their own innate
enthusiasm or inspiration. I have made the minds of many controlled, and had
the fruit thereof. I have not, however, had the opportunity to go to the zoo and
control the mind of the fierce lion or tiger, so I cannot demonstrate that; but
because it has not been possible to control the lion or tiger’s mind, is no reason
to disbelieve.”

Self-identification. Swamiji said one day that if we are to know the inner
aspect of anything, we must merge with it; that is, it must be gradually entered
into by being meditated upon. It is by our going into it and staying fixed there
that everything inside it is clearly known. Take a scientist who exposes all the
qualities of a substance. Does he describe its insides by looking at it from the
outside? Or is he depending on something else? By continuous thought about
the object to be known, about its unknown essence, he is becoming
unconscious of his body. The he becomes unconscious of the house, room,
door, his equipment etc. – so much so that he loses consciousness even of his
own body. Here he has become one with the object, or all-pervading. If he
remains in this condition for some time, all the unknown and unrevealed
aspects of the thing are reflected in thecittakasa and its inner secret qualities
shine forth. Now the telescope and other instruments have come, so the various
aspects of the sun, moon etc. can be readily understood, but in very ancient
days the yogis by recourse to self-identification learned many fact about the
planets etc. which are proven true even today. It used to be that many poured
abuse on all the pronouncements of the yogis, but now in the discovery of new
truths by science, many words of the yogis are being respected.
“Perfected yogis can, if they wish, let go of the gross body and going into the
subtle or causal body take up the gross body again somewhere else. He gave
the example of Sankara, who was going to a certain place with some of his
disciples. They had to go rather quickly because there was a big hill on the way
which they would have to go around, causing a big delay. TheAcarya asked his
disciples whether they should go around the hill or cleave it and go through.
They could not grasp the meaning of his question, so were thinking they would
go around. Sankara told them to do so, while he himself separated from his
gross body and transformed the subtle. Then in his subtle body he went through
the hill, and, arriving on the other side took up the gross body once again.
When the disciples arrived they were all astonished and began to question
him.”

Adhyasa, superimposition. This evening Swamiji seemed to be a different

person. Face shining, he had lost his human nature and seemed some being
from a higher plane. His voice was sonorous and seemed powerful and full of
authority. It was as if on one side stood the hoary doctrine which has come
down through the ages, and on the other side was he, trying to dig out the deep
meaning from the teachings of all religions. A dry philosopher and a divine
being – he had become both.

Raja Yoga resumed; superimposition

Raja Yoga is the one sastra which harmonizes and explains all the marvels
written in the scriptures and all the experiences of the seers of God and
substantiates and explains their claims.
 When the ojas of kundalini remains at a particular lotus or center, the
aspirant sees the superimposition on the mind-space appropriate to that center.
As an uncivilized barbarian cannibal sees that a horrific majestic idol is
standing before him and in accordance with the nature of the view is
commanding him to perform fierce deeds, to eat human flesh or some such
horrible thing. But in another, more civilized country, where the sadhaka has
his kundalini in another center, there will be a different kind of
superimposition. Some will see a very peaceful image, some a compassionate
one, etc. The superimposition for the aspirants of this country will be different
due to their natural surroundings and climate. That of the American Indians
will differ from that of the Vikings.
“The prophet Mohammed saw the messenger of God standing before him
and telling him many things. Later he related all of that to his circle of
followers. There is no doubt that Mohammed clearly saw the angel of God and
believed him in all simplicity. According to his superimposition (or projection)
he saw and heard correctly. Amongst all such disembodied messages there is
no doubt about those that are elevated and true, but it took place in accordance
with Mohammed’s level of projection.”

More on his behavior at lectures

At the time of the lecture Swamiji would speak for an hour-and-a-half

without a break. When he had finished he would give the opportunity for
asking questions. At that time he would follow no special formality but reply in
an informal way. If anyone had a question regarding that day’s lecture, he
would ask it, and Swamiji would answer in a most affectionate voice. Or,
sometimes, going up to the persons, in the midst of four or five, he would
gradually explain things. Then he was no longer in the serious lecturing mood;
rather, if they were those with whom he had some acquaintance, he would ask
about their health or some such thing.

Mohendra’s own observations

But Question and Answer period often brought out new and profound ideas
not found in the lectures. Swamiji often used to say, “I learned all this from him
at whose feet I sat; all this I saw in him and heard from his lips. I am not nearly
so qualified as he.” With a very little bit of humble speech he expressed the
tremendous faith and devotion he had for Sri Ramakrishna. Hearing his words
everyone could clearly understand and could realize that if Swami Vivekananda
was a great soul of such caliber, of what stature must have been his guru, Sri
Ramakrishna! In America and in London Swamiji was a different person—he
had a different mood: India has not witnessed that great power. India saw
Narendranath Dutta and the Western world saw the powerful Swami
Vivekananda. Maybe India could not bear that power, so he did not manifest it
there. He showed the kind of power he had to show in order to establish his
position with respect to the world-conquering English race. It used to be
thought that the English were thepeople—so wealthy, so respectable, learned
and with the right to make use of other races’ brains and at the same time be
indifferent to them. Everyone would stand before them like obedient devotees.
He showed this power in the Western world but when he returned to India he
shucked it off and became again Naren Dutta.

Sri Ramakrishna

Swamiji said, “That great soul, sitting at whose feet I learned my knowledge,
used to see the Divine Mother. He would see that She was standing before him,
telling him all truths. All those were exalted ideas, fraught with profound
meaning. How had he been able to see this? His ojashad reached a high level
and he had the vision of the Divine Mother. She talked with him in various
forms, and he would listen. New ideas and new truths were revealed to him.
This condition is not the fruit of any special reading or study; the awakening of
the ojas is the only means. So, even though this great soul was unlettered he
was preeminent in the world of thought. This is called projection (adhyasa).

Truth and relativity of superconscious experience

Lord Buddha: “Buddha said, ‘Whatever truth I have seen and do see I
fearlessly give out to all. Even if all the world stands up and contradicts me, I
will not be disturbed in the least. I have seen the truth and all this truth will
remain. All the truths I have told you will be as Veda to you.’ What Buddha
taught was great truth but he spoke of things as he saw them.
“The Vedic rishis, making hard tapasya awakened the kundalini power.
They too discovered many truths. Each truth was correct, but each sage saw or
heard the disembodied message in accordance with his own superimposition.
These they fearlessly declared. In one story it is said that a certain sage learned
his brahmajnana from a river. A river doesn’t say anything: it is a mass of
flowing water; so how did he learn from a river? When the mind got into a high
state this sage learned as it were from the river, from external nature he heard
the divine message. This is called the ‘reflexive mind’ [Written in English].
Another story tells of a sage learning from the fire. How? He
performedhoma with a concentrated mind. Raising his mind to a high state he
heard the truth and it seemed to come from the fire. So the homa fire is
calledJataveda. In another story he sage grazes his cows for many years, all the
time making japa. Finally the culmination of his austerity arrived. One day
while he was driving the cows, he entered a deep forest and was thinking
especially deeply when a cow, pleased with him, gave him brahmajnanaand all
this divine message as a highest truth. The sage saw in the cow his own
projection. Now different explanations cannot be given in the various stories of
sages; Raja Yoga is the only means by which all these different ideas can be
reconciled, the different views being seen as expression of the various
projections of the persons seeing.
Similarly, Moses. Burning bushes do not speak, but that is no reason to deny
Moses’ vision. Science usually scorns all these happenings as the ravings of a
lunatic and brushes them off. But it is not proper nor useful to treat any
philosophical or metaphysical matter in this way. It is the business of the
philosophy treatises to ascertain what kind of truth is in each thing. What
science calls derangement of the brain Raja Yoga gives meaning to, and
explains as superimposition?
The discovery of Truth

“Many people say that such and such a person has discovered a truth. Is truth
sitting in the corner of a room someplace, waiting for someone to come along
hunting and find it? Although many truths have been discovered, many remain
yet unknown. Compared to the truth that has been discovered, much more
remains yet to be manifested. If anyone says that he has discovered the whole
truth about anything, it will be a big lie. Truth is infinite. Each person in each
new age discovers new truth according to his projection; so long as man lives in
this world, so long new truths will be revealed. Truth is no one’s monopoly.
Only fools, fanatics, say that they have discovered the full truth. These do a lot
of harm to the world.”
Swami Vivekananda’s own vision. All the truths Swamiji spoke of he had
seen, either in vision or in sleep. He said many times, “I do not know anything.
I don’t think out anything. I don’t keep notes for my lectures, not do I think
before hand what is to be said in the lecture. When I arrive I collect and pacify
the mind for a few moments and then I see all the ideas clearly standing before
me. All these living thoughts I try to bring out, mumbling something or other. I
don’t understand at all what I say. When all these thoughts do not take shape
before my eyes I cannot speak a word; only when I see clearly do I begin to
speak. Mohendra often noticed this transformation of mood and heard Swamiji
say that just as men have form and color, so do ideas.
The discussion of “vision” went on for several days. Mohendra has given
only a brief account of it here. Swamiji seems to have given many very deep
ideas on this subject. The audience was awestruck and heard many truths new
to them. People were dumbfounded to learn that among religious and
philosophical truths there were such different views, that even among persons
of revelation and inspiration there could be different levels of these, and that a
book of sutras could be written that harmonized all these [referring to
Patanjali’s].
For the common man, this great truth had been declared for the first time
outside of India, in the American and Western world. Buddhist monks of old
had preached it after a fashion in foreign lands, but no one knew it very
accurately and we have no record of it, but in this age Swamiji has done this. It
is difficult to describe the splendor and brilliance of his face, eyes and voice at
this time. The power which he had expressed standing fearlessly before the
choicest religious audience (Chicago Parliament) was coming out again. He
had not stood before them with bowed head and folded palms, but as an equal
among equals. So his lecture was of such a high quality.
This lecture subject went on for four days, i.e. eight sessions.

Argument with an Englishman

Such was the level of Swamiji’s talks on “Vision” that his fame with the
public increased and brought many new persons to hear him.
One evening at the lecture there was a (military) pensioner who had served in
Bengal. He was elderly and thin. Because of having lived for a time in a hot
country his skin, instead of being the usual English white, was dark. The lecture
began. Swamiji was standing in his place. Goodwin had his paper on the sofa
near the far corner of the room. Swamiji started slowly. Hardly had he spoken
for five minutes when the India-returned Englishman said very disrespectfully,
in a loud tone, “Oh, thank you!” at almost a shout. Everyone was annoyed, but
still no one expressed anger openly. Many now regarded Swamiji as one of the
great souls like Jesus or Paul, and had profound love and respect for him. To be
frank, they called him a perfected guru. So naturally they became irritated and
began to make a stir. Pursuing his speech Swamiji said that the Christian
religion had now become warlike, but that in Buddhism there was still the idea
of compassion. In China at the present time, because of Buddhism, 400,000,000
people get a little food. Wherever Buddhism is still strong, war and military
technology is played down. But where Christianity is current many go hungry
and they always keep ready for battle. Jesus himself was a most compassionate
man; Christianity had become a military religion.”
This man, sitting near the fireplace said, “Sir Monier-Williams has written in
a book that Buddha was a very selfish and cruel man, as he ran off from his
wife and child. He was an atheist who didn’t believe in God. His teaching could
not be called a religion. Buddha merely made a set of social and ethical rules; it
is not an ’atheistic religion’. And Jesus’ religion is the only one: it alone has
faith in God and words of welfare for man.” The man evidently read Sir
Monier-williams’ books and when living in India read nothing about Hinduism
or Buddhism. Swamiji. without giving any rejoinder to his words began to
relate in many ways the compassion of Lord Buddha and said that even to this
day in India there are such noble sadhus.
“No,” said the man, “I know the sadhus are thieves. They are all robbers.
When the sadhus would go into any town or village I would see the police
follow them. I even used to see them chase them out of the village. Thieves and
loafers put on the gerrua, and they are what are called sadhus.” Sturdy was
sitting in back of the sofa. He got up and came quickly to the middle of the
room.
“When I lived in India I saw many fine sadhus, men of the highest level of
Swamiji here. I made particular investigations into this matter and talked a lot
with them and watched them.” He said this in a rather loud voice and with
some heat.
Previously this Englishman had thought that Swami Vivekananda was a
Madrasi because in Bowbazaar in Calcutta there lived many Madrasis with
long names ending in “swamy.” But when he heard Swamiji and saw his
mannerisms, he recognized him as a Bengali. Then he puffed out his chest and
in patronizing tones said, “I thought you were a Madrasi; now I see you are a
Bengali Babu. You know that during the Mutiny we saved you.”
Sturdy, who had been sitting at ease but was now standing in the middle of the
room like a madman, shouted. “But you were well paid for it.” Shaking all
over, he angrily seized the man by the neck and began to push him outside.
Goodwin had been writing there in his chair and occasionally looking angrily at
the man. Now he could stand it no longer, dropped his pen, rolled up his
sleeves and prepared to come to blows. Swamiji had even them been going on
smoothly with his speech, so Goodwin, out of regard for that, had been waiting
for him to stop speaking.
The audience was upset, turning one way to look at Sturdy, the other to look
at Goodwin. Fox had indistinct speech and was not so prompt; he was saying
something unintelligible from his seat. Swami Saradananda and Mohendra
were Indians, cowed by this uproar in a foreign country and both began
shivering. Then Swami Vivekananda, abandoning his natural peaceful
demeanor, assumed an altogether different and threatening one. Turning to the
right and facing the man by the fireplace, he poured fire for nearly thirty-five
minutes without let.
He began to recite the history of the English race from Hengist and Horsa to the
present day, and how their behavior had been oppressive and rude wherever
they had gone. He told the ubiquitous story of the English race, full of
reproach, and said the world had given scarcely any impeachment to them on
the evidence of this history. That day he showed what a surprising knowledge
he had of these events of history, in proper sequence, and astounded all with his
facility. Then that Englishman, downfaced like this in front of everyone, took
out his handkerchief and began to weep and blow his nose. He consumed three
handkerchiefs in the process. Then he was all undone and sat like a block of
wood. Swamiji, after thirty-five minutes again faced the audience and in an
affectionate tone of voice resumed his lecture.

Reactions to the event

“Now I go on to pratyahara and dharana.” He began as if nothing like this

had happened, like a balanced immovable perfect yogi. It was a great surprise
to the people that he could pick up like this, just in the mood he had abandoned.
His angry mood subsided as quickly as it had arisen. That day there was no
Question and Answer session. Some famous names had been included in his
indictment: Cicero, Catullinus, Demosthenes, Philip of Macedonia, Hampden
and Pim, Wenworth and Lord.
Such a scathing indictment Swamiji had never before spoken and Mohendra
had never heard. When the lecture was finished, people said to Swamiji,
“Swami, you have taught us a grand lesson in forbearance. If anyone had
spoken to us in that way, we could not have stood it. You are saint, you are a
really great man” and so on.
In the parlor, Swamiji, Sturdy, Goodwin, Miss Muller and Swami
Saradananda all gathered. Sturdy said, “I went completely out of my mind. I
don’t know what I said or did. I only know that I gave that man a blow on the
neck.” That Englishman must have been a bit changed, for after it was over he
went to Sturdy and begged his pardon and went quickly away. He did not have
the courage to face Swamiji. Sturdy said, “He is unspeakably rude. He used to
have some petty job in the Indian Government and has come to show his
bluster in this country as well.”
Goodwin said, “I would have liked to thrash this man but Swamiji gave me
no chance. I couldn’t do anything because he didn’t stop talking. Otherwise I’d
have given him a good beating.” Swamiji had been sitting silent; then he said,
“Everything is Narayana. This man too is Narayana. Only he is bad-Narayana.”
To Goodwin, “Goodwin, “bring my hat and coat and cane; come, let’s go for a
walk. Don’t think any more about him. He is Narayana, wicked Narayana.” He
took a cigarette and went out with Goodwin and came back late at night.
The subject of Pavhari Baba. In one lecture Swamiji said that mind must be
withdrawn from the body, i.e. not attached to any organ. Depending on how
high a level the mind rose to, so would be the new ideas it would see. Many
think that if they get ideas which are more or less high, they have advanced
very far and there is nothing beyond that. This is a big mistake.
“I met at a place called Ghazipur a perfected soul named Pavhari Baba. He
was a yogi of a very high order and amply learned as well. He told me that
where the north pole and the south pole meet is the place where religious life
begins. Sitting there one must gradually reach a high state. But many people
think that where contrary thoughts meet in one place, i.e. a non-dual state,
beyond the opposites, that is the acme of sadhana. But Pavhari Baba said that
this is the first stage of the religious life. Another thing he said was that Buddha
and the others so highly estimated had given expression to their ideas, but in a
higher condition such expression is not possible. Compared to the expressed the
unexpressed is much higher. There have been and are souls who have reached
such a high condition that they could not give any sort of expression to their
thoughts. So they remain silent, and in the outside world are thought mad or
dumb.” That evening Swamiji talked of the high state of Pavhari Baba. It was a
great surprise to the audience, who listened in awed silence.

The Duchess of Albany. Many people had come to the morning lecture,
among them some élite ladies. A lot of carriages were at the door and a great
deal of bustle going on. Mohendra and Swami Saradananda were sitting at their
post on the upper interior staircase. The nurse (aforementioned) was sitting on
the balcony, writing down the lecture. It was very moving and everyone was
listening intently. When it was over everyone gradually came downstairs.
Swami Saradananda and Mohendra came down to the balcony. In the lecture
hall there was a lot side-glancing. whispering and nudging going on among the
ladies. It was all about one particular lady. When she had left they heard, “It is
the Duchess of Albany”. Then it was learned that she had come incognito and
secretly, to hear Swamiji’s lecture: earlier her lady-in-waiting had come to hear
them and had told her all about it. For ladies of the Palace it was forbidden to
go elsewhere without Queen Victoria’s permission. The Duchess of Albany
was the wife of the Queen’s fourth son, so she had to come incognito.
At this point it should be said that in his lectures Swamiji would raise one
topic and the speak on various subjects and from different texts, so it is
impossible to remember on which day he spoke on what. Only this can be said,
that he discussed these matters in Raja Yoga in the upper room. Probably the
audience did not remember it either, because it was his specialty that he would
carry them into a realm beyond words.

Vatsalya bhava. As the daily discussion of dhyana, dharana and samadhietc.

was rather dry and people got tired, Swamiji for a change introduced bhakti
subjects such as this. Among Christians, there is the ideal of Mother Mary
nursing the Baby Jesus in her lap, which is called the Madonna. If women do
spiritual practice in this way, their minds can quickly go higher. Swamiji gave a
beautiful talk that day with a comparison of Yashoda’s Gopala and the Child
Jesus, and delighted the ladies.
Madhura bhava. In one lecture he spoke of this. “God or the ishta is called
upon as husband or beloved. It is He who is the lord, the husband, the protector
– doing sadhana in this way, we weaken our body consciousness or connection.
Within us an affectionate pure kind of love awakens. There is much of this in
the Vaishnava scriptures of the Hindus. Among Christians, St. Catherine
practiced this and through it attained perfection. (Mohendra saw in the National
Art Gallery a large painting of St. Catherine [of Sienna] in her wedding dress as
the bride of Christ.)
Bhakti was the subject at evening lectures, after which came Fearlessness.
Swamiji said that with the knowledge of the nearness of God, fearlessness
comes. “That there is someone near unseen, who hears my words and who will
fulfill my longing – this knowledge is fearlessness. When one is fearless one
becomes calm, and strength comes to one’s heart and there is strength in one’s
talk. Many have the idea that if we think of God, who will feed us? But I tell
you all flatly, go with me and you will see there need be no fear about
starvation. In whatever country we go, whatever city, whatever village, the very
best food will come of itself. So don’t worry about that. I have demonstrated
this in my own life. I never preach what I do not practice. There is nothing to
fear.” That day he spoke many words of encouragement without a stop.
Everyone got inner strength. Doubts flew away; conviction was aroused.
He gave an illustration. “In Europe in the Middle Ages, there were many
monks and friars, among whom some reached a high state. The story is told that
one friar went out to a mountainous place in Scotland. There was no village or
settlement there, but he began to walk. This brother had tremendous devotion to
God and was fearless. The first day he got some food. The night somehow
passed on that mountain, and the next day he got on the move again. But the
second day he got no food. Again managing somehow to sleep, he set off the
following day. After going some way, he felt very tired and, conscious of the
hardship of the mountain-climbing. At that very time an eagle, flying overhead
with a fish, let go of his prey, which fell at the monk’s feet. Looking up, he saw
the eagle flying. He began to compose a hymn in praise of God. Gathering
some firewood he cooked and ate the fish. With that little strength he walked
again. If one becomes fearless, everything comes out all right. For one’s food
there will be no obstacle; it will come of itself. Mohendra had liked the story
very much.
Swamiji told the story of Yudhishthira and his dog, making the additional
point that a dog, in India, is untouchable, and even on such a trip, not
considered a fit companion. Many of the women of England have pet dogs. So
this story appealed to them.
He told another story of Yudhishthira. “The king was going towards heaven
when he came upon a very high mountain peak, heavily covered with snow.
When he had been approaching the snow for a long time, an extraordinary light
(or radiance) was given off. Yudhishthira had given up his kingdom, wealth
and everything and had become a pilgrim. He no longer had desire for any
worldly object, and had formed a resolution to go to heaven to attain God.
Seeing the unusual radiance of the snow, he began to climb higher. Looking at
the high, snow-covered peak he said, “O Mountain, I seek nothing from you. I
have nothing to ask of you, for my desires have been extinguished, but seeing
your immensity and beauty, I am charmed and awestruck. I love you for the
sake of love alone. I look at you for the sheer joy of it. In the looking, life has
merged in your beauty, so to speak. Reward and expectation are trifling things;
love for love’s sake is the best.”
“A person sees the world in accordance with the expression of his own nature,”
said Swamiji one evening. “The external world is nothing but the bubbling up
of our own inner power taking the form of objects present before us. We are
taking these in and calling them “other” or external world. There is no certainty
about there being a real external world, and if there is, it exists in a trifling way.
The external world is created by self-projection. But whether there is an outside
world apart from my mind is doubtful. One person sees the world as peaceful,
another as a cyclone, a great upheaval. One person sees all as his friends, his
boon companions, another sees the world as his enemy, trying to do him harm.
And if there is an external world, whatever is needed for making that appear
real is supplied by our own projection.”
He told an illustrative story.
“A thief was out in the night for robbery. When he had gone a little way he
saw on the side of the road something sticking up. Thinking that another thief
was crouching there for the same purpose, he said, ‘Well, brother, how goes the
night’s work? There is a long night ahead; what will you get from sitting in one
place? You’ve got to go around a bit, to pick up something.’ No reply coming
from the other figure, he said: ‘What, friend? You are crouching there over a
nicely-stuffed bundle and have hit upon real pile of notes, eh? So you’re not
wanting more. And I am yet to find mine, so I’m off on the road for roaming
about.’ And away he went.
“A bit later a drunkard came along and saw that figure sticking up. He said,
‘Well, friend, like a hawk poised to swoop you are lying in wait for your prey.
But I shall have a round, and then come and snatch her out of your mouth.’
Then a sadhu came along. Seeing the same sight he said, ‘Oh, you are having a
perfectly fine time all by yourself. You are sitting here beside the road
making japa throughout the night, and you must be thinking me a fool to travel
along the road and then fall asleep. Let me not leave your company: I too will
sit here and do japa all the night. He sat near the figure and told his beads.
Early in the morning the thief and the drunkard returned that way. They too sat
near the figure in the dark, one by one, each taking it for what he had expected.
Slowly the dawn came and then they saw that it was neither thief nor drunkard
nor sadhaka, but only a tree stump! Then they revealed to each other their
minds. So is the world – something expressing one’s own conviction.”
The story of the golden mongoose (As in Karma Yoga).
And the four little birds.
Then the housewife and butcher and the svayamvara.
Sakhya bhava. In the course of a Bhakti Yoga lecture, Swamiji said that we
find the worship of God as our own friend, in India alone. It is not found much
in other religions, or wherever it is found, it is not common. If one
performs sadhana as the friend of God, great strength comes to the heart, and
many people will get benefit from it.
As Lord, Master: this instruction is given in many religions. Do the will of
God and remain under His control.
“In the spiritual life, if improvement is to take place, personal attachment to
some person or Ideal is very necessary. Every form of the bhakti path depends
on this steadfastness or sincere attachment. In the measure that one has
steadfastness to the ishta, so will be the feeling of his closeness. The fidelity
will slowly take the devotee’s mind to a higher plane.” By way of example he
said, “I am giving the lecture and so many persons have gathered, but as is each
person’s personal involvement, so will they take the matter to heart, and just so
will a truth be reflected within them. Thisnishtha, adherence to one ideal, is the
essential thing. The discourse will not be fruitful for one who has no faith in the
speaker. The wife has faith in her husband, so their life is so pure, so sweet. At
first our fidelity to the ishta is not total, but if we practice a few days, the way
becomes revealed and it gradually increases.” As Swamiji talked on, a
profound sincere devotion was awakened in everyone. A kind of group-feeling
was quite palpable. It seemed each listener’s mind had mingled with Swamiji’s
mind and been colored by it.
“The body is made of a collection of molecules, kept up by a state of
vibration. This is the vibration of gross objects, as a result of which we are not
able to see the subtle ones. But when we advance from the gross to the subtle
objects, this vibration projects a different reality. The mental thing is a bundle
of ideas. All these conceptions are difficult at first for us to grasp properly, but
when we progress to the subtle plane, the subtle vibration brings form and color
to the subtle thoughts. Everything is the projection of vibration. This bundle of
ideas, endowed with form and color, stays at first in a hazy condition and
gradually condensing, gets clear. This is called superimposition or self-
projection. In other words, the collection of ideas inside takes visible form and
stands before us. In measure as the inner energy or vibrational power is there to
sustain it, so long does the perceptualized concept remain, and when that
decreases, the vision before us fades. If I can make my idea visible, then I can
say something definite. When the idea is clearly visible in the mind, my lecture
too, will be taken to heart by the audience. I simply see before my eyes and
speak it out.” He spoke a long time about the visualization of ideas.

Previous birth

“Our minds are always out-going. The path of the movement of energy too,
is from inside to outside. It is the natural propensity of the mind to wish to seize
upon something new, and so it runs in this direction. That is why people are
always making new discoveries. But there is another direction for the mind,
which is inward, turning the mind back upon itself. Most people do not
remember their actions of long ago. If you ask most people what they did three
or four days ago, with whom they spoke etc., usually they cannot say. All this
bundle of actions does not arise in their memories; perhaps with a little mental
effort they may be able to recall a little. But there is a practice by which all past
events can be very much awakened. At first we have to think hard, when we
did what; gradually we are able to walk backward and reawaken these
memories. At first it is very troublesome and exasperating, but after a while, by
practicing this the mind becomes firm. By thinking into the past like this,
finally we can catch the memory of our childhood. Whom we played with,
whose house we visited, who were those who loved us etc. – all must be
minutely awakened. After that, the mental power becomes fixed in one place; it
cannot waver from looking back, as it were. If anyone can go beyond this limit,
one can reach even the knowledge of one’s previous lives. All these things are
written in the books, and I can tell you that I firmly believe them. From what I
have done myself and so far back as I have been able to go, all this appears to
me to be true.” That day he quoted freely from various books about the above
subjects.

The early stages of sadhana

“When we first try to control the mind, many sorts of thoughts arise. At first
it is best to let them run. Whatever energy we have, then this has to run down a
bit and they will subside of themselves. After that, the body begins to itch as if
something were crawling around on it. Sometimes it is like ants tickling. These
are all phenomena of the beginning stage. Later the back of the head heats up
and a pain may be felt. If this happens it is good to stop meditation for awhile.
No special gain is made by forcing; on the contrary, it may be counter-
productive and weaken the body. Or we may feel, in the backbone, that
someone is pricking us with a sharp needle. In that case too, stop meditating,
because if all the nerves get a little rest, they will again become strong and the
power to meditate will return. In this state it is necessary to urinate frequently;
it is not a symptom of illness, rather it has an improving effect on the health.
Sometimes when the mind is raised up from the ordinary state, many changes
take place in the body.

The attachment of chitta

“The mind is not to be attached to any contemplated object. Forsaking all

other objects, the chitta is to be absorbed in one target only. Some meditate in
the heart lotus, some on one of the others. Pratyahara means that the mind is to
be separated from the material objects or range of the senses. But the mind
cannot remain long in this separated condition.
“Lifting the mind from all sense-objects is the result of strength, no doubt,
but this is a negative process. The mind cannot long remain in this negative
condition, because a positive or active process of the mind is essential. It is
necessary to meditate on some positive object, so we use the heart or other
lotus. The devotee thinks about some ishta.
The ishta has a form, and according to the devotee’s own inclination, a color
and other qualities. Some, relinquishing an ishta, fix their mind on a spot. At
any rate, some positive object is to be taken. Even if, at the time of making the
mind inward, the body at first becomes tired or restless, once the inward mood
comes, a new feeling appears. Ordinarily we are not conscious of whatever heat
is in the skin or its immediate vicinity, because that is our normal condition. If
the mind ‘goes in,’ this nervous heat enters the deep levels of the body
and vrittis of the mind will all change too. So the body feels light, and our
inhaling and exhaling become controlled. After some practice, whatever swift
motion there is in the blood vessels of the hand will relax or diminish. This is
not a symptom of disease.
“In various kinds of harmful thoughts and wasting of our strength outwardly,
the body gets worn out. That is why food and drink are so essential to us. But
when the power is turned inward, this process of wearing out is much less
rapid. When the energy is inward-directed, it preserves our bodily sustenance.
So the food intake decreases. There are some philosophic views to the effect
that, if the wear and tear on the body caused by evil thoughts (or ‘hampering
anxieties’) is prevented by inward-directed energy, one can sustain oneself.
One need take no external physical food. They say all this is accomplished by
the air (vayu) which pervades all subtle things; when the inner power is
specially increased, by means of the subtle particles of air, one can maintain
one’s body. There are examples given in the Puranas and other ancient books of
many ascetics who lived in this way. For, in that case all the nerve currents
move in a different way and there is no need for food.
“Whatever you think becomes one with the object of thought. There is no use
in uncontrolled thought. The thought-current is to bring in each object as if it
were completely filled with that, i.e., one with it. When the current of thought
will flow with power in whichever direction it is sent, the undertaking will be
most fruitful.
Millennium

In the Christian religion there is an idea that a time will come when
everybody will be pure, noble and filled with holy thoughts. All will be saints,
suffering, poverty, wickedness and crime, will vanish, heaven will descend on
earth and earth will be heaven. Swamiji, referring to this, called it an
impossibility. It was fine to hear, but unfeasible and a contradiction in terms.
As we go on meditating, when the mind gets steadied and the body-
consciousness is minimized, i.e. when even the remembrance of body, place,
time, country and causation is not there, and the mind rises to the Great Void,
then the object of contemplation is reflected in its cidakasa. But devoid of
substratum (or receptacle) the mind cannot remain long in the Great Void: that
is why a support is needed. The first impression of truth comes in the form of
pictures. In the Great Void or cidakasa, numerous forms suddenly appear like
pictures. But the movements of these in relation to each other express quite new
ideas. We can express through speech a little bit, but all the living ideas which
are beyond speech, and which speech is attempting to indicate, then become
clearly evident. There is no fear in all these visions; gradually this seeing of
pictures will get expanded in various ways and become uplifted to higher
realms.”

Self-realization; Swamiji’s own experience

“Sadhus and yogis in the early stages see everything as external, and try to get
their instruction and their blessings from outside. I roamed about the whole of
India, my forehead swollen from being banged against the floor through
prostrating. At the time, a little peace would come, no doubt, but shortly it
would all go away and I would become very depressed. Nothing happened nor
was there any hope. Finally I got disgusted and so dejected that I gave up all
external practices, all bhakti. Then I decided that as I had got nothing from
outside after so much search, let me see if I can get it from inside. I would
renounce everything, even give up the body. There was no necessity for a life
spent in vain. And I began to search inside. I extinguished the external world
completely; in the interior world I saw something tremendous! There the
external seemed a mere trifle. Little by little, doubt began to lessen, and my
dejection abated and I began to have Self-realization. Then a strength and
courage came into my heart. The inner vision is far superior to the outer. A
natural dignity (or manliness) comes from the vision of the Self. Ordinary
heroism is clumsy person’s heroism: it lasts but a little while – in a moment a
person can become crestfallen and cowardly. But the manliness of those who
have seen the Self is full of fire, enduring and incontrovertible. It is not the
build or strength of the body that gives mental power. That comes from the
vision of the Atman.”
Self manifestation the basis of everything. “Self-knowledge or Self-
realization and each object as the manifestation of Brahman – when one acquire
this Knowledge one becomes free. One can no longer be much impressed with
external glamour. In my days as a wandering monk, because of the uncertainty
over food and rest, the body was always out-of-sorts and ill. I took many
medicines but got no result. Finally, exasperated, I altogether gave up resorting
to medicine and tried to arouse whatever was already within me. Then strength
came to the mind. I banished all bodily illness, then the body became all right.
If the Atman within awakes, one’s body becomes changed. From that time my
health has been quite good. Sometimes I catch a bit of cold, but then I don’t
have to take much medicine. Self-manifestation is the main thing.
“Even if yogis drink intoxicants, they get no special effect from them. When
a yogi reaches an advanced state the body changes. The way the action of
liquor affects the ordinary person is not seen in the advanced yogi. Wine is no
different from water; one will notice no difference. The scriptures even say that
if poison is administered to the perfect yogi, nothing will happen, because when
the mind has risen, no action on the lower level is effective.”
Swamiji said that he knew of the case of a certain person. Though one of his
limbs was burned, in the state of samadhi he felt nothing. Though others got the
odor of burning flesh, he, dwelling in the state of samadhi, did not move the
rest of his body nor feel pain in the member. But when his mind came down
again to a lower level and joined itself to the gross state, he began to feel the
pain of having been burned. When the mind unites one part of the body with
another it experiences its sensations. But when it rises, the gross body’s
sensations cannot disturb the subtle body.
“When we first meditate we get some joy and the mind moves ahead by
degrees. But a state comes when the mind becomes paralyzed, and there is no
energy left in it. It seems to be dull. At this time, one must try to invoke grace,
blessing, and bhakti. Crossing over this state by such means, you will again be
able to meditate.
“When, after meditating, there comes real absorption, i.e., the sadhaka
becomes free of body-consciousness or clings only to the subtle body, letting
go of the gross (in this condition the whole external world gets merged and
only space or void remains), then from inside oneself a question must come up;
turning over this question for some days, one provides the answer oneself.

Self-projection

So’ham, so’ham. Swamiji became very serious on the subject of self-projection.

He said, “The whole creation is the self-projection of the “I.” Joy and sorrow,
virtue and vice, freedom and bondage, all are self-projection. In whatever way I
project myself, in that way, seeing the idea of freedom in each object in the
world, I am absorbed in bliss. And when I rise above ideas of good or ill, vice
or virtue, free or bound, I see it is I who has become one, I who has become
many.” Here he was so exalted in outlook that everyone was spellbound. The
room was so still, even breathing was not heard. “I am He, I am He,” he said, “I
am that Sat-chit-ananda, the Atman. The world, the body, mind, whatever is
outside – all that I pervade. It is I who have projected the universe, I am hidden
in everything. Just as I am staying in this body, so do I exist in each body. I am
all-pervading. Every created thing is mind. I am a voice without form. Body is
something external, world is something external, thought too is the
same. So’ham, so’ham – the Hindus have given this idea to the world. In it
there is no fear or hell or cringing tendency. The ideal here is the establishment
of Oneness in all things.
“The body is a stream of matter. Ordinarily we see the body as a stable or
abiding entity. But it is changing at every moment, and yet we regard this
perpetual transformation as a temporary fixture. What do we see from
babyhood to old age? Everyone is the same person, but the body or covering is
being changed at every moment. By food, by breath etc. e are taking in the
material world and a little later in various ways we letting all that out again. All
the transformation that goes on between this taking in and letting out we are
calling an abiding thing. We are superimposing permanence on the changing –
why? Because within us there is consciousness of the Everlasting.
“You all know that we cannot dive into the same river twice, because after
the first dive time has wrought changes. I have grown a bit older, the sun has
risen higher, some water has gone down the stream, tree leaves have fallen in,
some mud has floated by, etc. What is it that we call the present? When I form
a thought and have not pronounced it aloud, then I call it ‘future;’ but as I speak
of it, even then its work is done and it is gone; so it is called ‘past.’ Future I
understand, and past, but where is the present? Inferring a joining of past and
future, we give a special name and call it ‘present.’ But future thought is no
sooner present than it becomes past.
“Our bodies are collections of certain materials. I am putting everything in
through one kind of opening and it is all going out through another kind. This
transformation is called ‘enduring’ body. The illustration may be given of
seeing a beehive from a distance. From afar it appears that the bees of the hive
have sat down quietly inside, but if we go close we can observe that the bees
are continuously on the go, wandering to and fro; within a certain boundary
they light here and there, some fly up high, etc. So it is with body or anything
having name and form.”
The story of a miracle-working yogi

“A devotee sat on a very high mountain in a hut, repeating the Lord’s name,
and spent his days living on whatever food came to hand. One day a miracle-
working yogi came and stood before him. ‘What are you doing sitting on this
peak?,’ he asked brusquely.
The devotee replied, “I am sitting still and repeating the name of the Lord;
what else?’
‘I’d like to show you my power,’ said the other. ‘Look, see what I can do.’
And waving his hand in the air he said, ‘Let a storm come.’ At once from all
sides clouds came and heavy rain began to fall. Many trees and shrubs were
uprooted. Among the travelers coming up the side of the mountain, some were
swept away. Sheep and goats also died as if themahapralaya had come.
“Then the yogi said, ‘Shall I show you another power? Storm, abate.
Sunshine come; sky, be clear.’ At his word all the storm clouds departed and
very clear sunshine prevailed. Seeing all the destruction thereabouts, the
devotee said,
‘These powers of yours have done much mischief. Through the taking of so
many lives, how much misery you have brought! And all for the sake of
expressing your own egotism! You have got this power, but have you got God-
vision, brahmajnana? You began your tapasya with the idea of getting God-
vision one way or another; now, stopping in mid-journey you have lost that
ideal and taken a side path. This is no glory to you: it is your obstacle. Nor are
you the sadhaka you were. You have fallen to a lower level. Give up totally
this power; then you can approach Brahman.’
The yogi was ashamed on hearing this and, understanding his error, took refuge
with this devotee and stayed with him for the rest of his life in the pursuit and
contemplation of God.”

Seeing or hearing at a distance

 Many of Swamiji’s audience had some acquaintance with this phenomenon,
but none of them really understood what it was. To show his own skill in the
matter, Swamiji demonstrated it for about forty-five minutes. He said,
“Whatever your question is, write it and put it in your pocket. I will tell you
what it is.” All did as requested. Then Swamiji, turning to the left, began: “Now
the question is this……….” As this question was announced, on the other side
a man took from his pocket and looked at a piece of paper. It was that very
question. Seeing his behavior, the people had no doubt that it was his. But lest
this person be embarrassed, Swamiji, facing the other way, said, “On a main
road beyond a gate there is a corridor leading to a stairway. On the right of that
there is a room. Upstairs on the ‘first’ floor is another room with a bed on
which a little boy is sleeping.” He whose question had come up was very happy
and could hardly contain his satisfaction.
Then he took up another question, and as before, faced the opposite direction
and said. “This is the question……………..” The one whose question it was
took the paper from his pocket, examined it and looked embarrassed. He looked
fixedly at Swamiji, wondering what he would say. Swamiji said, “In a ‘first’-
floor bedroom on a bed a child is lying; beside the bed on a small table are
some vials of medicine; the boy is ill, but he will be all right; in a few days he
will be quite well.” He took up another. Seeing this person’s restlessness, he
said, “There is a room in the middle of which is a table; beside the table seated
in a chair is an old man.” In this way he covered exactly many questions.
This event took place in the question-and-answer period after the lecture, not
at the regular lecture time. But another evening the audience did not experience
their customary pleasure; instead, they were rather in a state of apprehension.
Listening for some time about the perfected yogi, everyone got the idea that
Swami Vivekananda was such a great one, himself. This evening, unlike the
other days when they would chat pleasantries with him as they left, everyone
went out looking at him in trepidation and shrinking. They had a strong feeling
that Swamiji was a terrifying person who could read all their thoughts. That
night there was no jolly mood; rather, a frightened feeling was in evidence. The
lecture, too, was very serious and beautiful and the listeners heard it in great
absorption.
In the next day’s lecture, Swamiji began to explain this ESP affair. “When
the mind in a high state becomes utterly free of body-consciousness, nothing
stays at a distance. The mind must be made inactive or neutral. After awhile in
this condition it is to be placed on some object and it will be able to see all the
things comprised in that object. This is called clairvoyance. But when the thing
comes as a picture, it does not come just as it is: when it comes by the subtle
plane, it is upside down. For example, there is a room with several persons
sitting at a table. Suppose I wish to know about a particular one of these; I will
see that all others are sitting there normally, but that particular person is upside
down. The chair legs are up and his head is down. Then one understands that
this is the particular person to be looked at.”
Many people came to all these lectures and were dumbfounded to see
Swamiji’s uncommon yogic powers. They had read in the Bible that Jesus
could do all sorts of miracles, but those were affairs of those days. They had the
idea that at the present time no one could do such things.
But they saw Swamiji’s power and considered him a superior person and
honored him accordingly.

The body transformed by yoga

If one does japa and meditation there comes a covering over the body. If
these are done for some time, a transformation in the cells of the body begins,
and the old molecules are changed for new ones. The body gets changed a bit.
The body of a (accomplished) yogi is made of different material from that of an
ordinary person. The vibrations and projection of the atoms are from our
natural propensity; the mind creates this body. The yogi’s body is of a shining
cast, the voice is sweet and his glance affectionate and full of attraction, and his
appearance peaceful and calm. Then, when the yogi attains a high condition,
from his limbs a magnetic power or luster is given off. When this luster comes
close to the low-minded it gives them a kind of terror or apprehension. If he sits
near wicked people, there come into his mind panic or restlessness, as if from
inside that person something really horrid is issuing. But if a perfected yogi
comes near him, an affectionate, joyful, peaceful feeling issues of itself. If he
wishes, the perfect yogi can spread out this covering or aura to a great distance.

The story of Dhruva

“There was a guileless little boy who went into the forest to do austerity for
realizing God. He did not know any rules or regulations. But he called on God
with a pure heart and simple faith. Various dangers arose: tigers, bears and
other wild animals came, but not a one injured him; each went its own way.
Now, tigers, bears etc. are all dangerous animals; they molest people and
devour human flesh; but why did nothing approach Dhruva? If I think about
harming another – if from within me injurious vibrations arise, those vibrations
will surround me and whoever comes into that area will feel thought of injury
arising in him and ultimately these will come back on me as cruelty. But if I
rejoice in the welfare of all and distribute thoughts full of peace, those too will
go out and whoever comes within the radius of that will feel peaceful inside for
the time being. I have seen something of this matter myself, and as for the rest,
I have full faith in it. Wild animals are certainly affected by it. After all, they
also have babies, they too at one stage wandered about with their mothers.
‘Wild’ means that for the first moments there was no cruelty; they are at the
same time both wild and tame. From the episode of Dhruva we may realize that
vibrations of affection flow out from the body of a yogi. This is not the only
such example; there are many such stories.”

Allurement by divine nymphs

“In many books the story is told that a yogi practicing spiritual exercises
achieved a high degree of advancement when suddenly his mind became upset
and a divine nymph came and began to seduce him. This idea is current in
many lands and in various forms. Why? Mind can go very high through
austerity. Reaching that, one gets quite a bit of joy and feels secure, but inside,
hidden and unknown desires remain which can rise up forcefully.
When tapasya has been done for some time, all the nerves become subtle. They
are easily touched off by slight vibration. So when old desires or memories get
wakened a little, they assume very vivid forms and stand before us. No nymph
comes from outside; these are projections from within the aspirants themselves.
Taking form in the causal space, they become reflected as a suggestion in the
mind. In accordance with the previous life of each aspirant, in accordance with
one’s social milieu, this reflected picture stands before one. So no two people
have the vision of the ‘nymph’ in just the same way. Mara attacked Buddha in
one way, Jesus’ temptation was different, but all these come up from inside.”
Then Swamiji said, “When one reaches a very high state one has to give up
the desires altogether – to ‘fry the seeds of desire’ [written in English], in the
language of the yogi. If the seeds remain, they will sprout; but if they are
thoroughly fried, they cannot sprout any more. On the part of an advanced yogi
this is especially important. For this whole universe has come into being
through desire, and it is in desire, also, that a person becomes bound. Desire is
the creator of the universe.”
On the domestic scene

Swamiji expressed to Miss Muller his desire to learn French; she knew
English, French and German. He told her that if he traveled in the various part
of Europe and wanted to talk with society people, a knowledge of the French
language was mandatory. He would often talk with educated travelers from
foreign countries. And the surprising thing is that he was able to study and get
some accomplishment in it. He told Mohendra to study it too, but the latter was
not willing.
 Miss Muller was much annoyed with the old housekeeper. She always
complained about her cooking. After some days she brought a new servant and
told everyone, “This cook is a very good one, one cannot find a better cook
than this.” There was no end to the praise. Everyone kept quiet; no one
ventured to say anything. She then volunteered: “She can cook wonderful rice.”
At this, Sturdy asked, “How does she cook it?” Miss Muller replied With
glee, “Why she puts the pot of water on the fire until it comes to a full boil;
then ties up the rice in a cloth and puts it in, and when it is boiled takes out the
bundle and drains it, and such beautiful rice is there.” When the two Indians
listening heard this astonishing method of preparing rice, they suppressed their
laughter with the greatest difficulty. Mentally they were saying, “Thank you,
dear cook, for your bundle-cooked rice!” No one dared say anything for fear of
a row.

British women, American women

One day Swamiji was in an expansive mood, walking to and fro in the house,
sometimes smoking, sometimes sitting briefly in his own chair. He began to
speak. “How robust are the British women! On the street, in the lane,
everywhere, how like men they work and walk. Their muscles, too, are very
hard. They are the symbol (or model), as it were, of the good health of the race.
That is why so many children are born in this country who are also strong and
virile. They don’t marry before the age of twenty-five or thirty. They take
special care to keep the body healthy. So even the girls are strong and virile.
And all those parents who are thin and sickly, their children too are the same,
lank and effete. None are married until their bodies are built up. The Indian
race must be made very strong. Because it has not been so, its children are
weak and always full of despair. It is essential to make that race self-confident
like the British. The Hindu race is dying from this hopeless attitude. Filled with
faith they will be able to accomplish much in the world.” Swamiji animatedly
said such things. His pronouncements had become serious, anxious and
reflective, for that is how he spoke when he was under some mental distress.
One day Swamiji said, “How energetic the American women are! They are
not women at all, they are men! They go to the market, buy things, keep the
account, go to the bank and make change, climb up on a bus, drive, go here, run
there……What astonishing energy! They defeat the men! There is not the least
femininity in them: they are like men. And these discreet English women are
homely and fat. If they have some work to do and have to go out alone, they die
of fear. They are not so smart and clever as the American women—nor so
courageous. Compared to (the Americans) the British women seem about fifty
years behind. They are antiquated, as it were, following old customs. And in
the new American republic both men and women earn money. That is why they
are so vivacious. An enthusiasm comes in the women’s minds and a strength to
their hearts. They haven’t a trace of womanish thick-headedness.” Everyone
heard him in silence.

Swamiji could, when he felt like it, or when necessary, remain in such
serious and absorbed mood that no one dared to go near him. But again, when
in his natural frame of mind, he would make all sorts of fun with everybody.
One morning he was sitting in his usual chair while Sturdy sat in a chair not far
away looking out the window into the street. Then with Sturdy he began such a
farcical sotto voce confab that the latter bent his head over (lit., “in shame”) and
began suppressed laughter. But Swamiji, holding nothing back, carried on
without let for some time. From this it can clearly be understood what intimate
association Swamiji used to have with people; as a result, no one took offense
at his words or actions. He was such a simple man that he would not hesitate in
the least to express himself. But he could not keep back anything, in his mind,
for long.

Summer, and scolding

It was summertime. Even the breeze felt a bit hot. Mohendra came down at
about 3:30 one afternoon and found Swamiji sitting in a chair. Seeing him
Swamiji said, “Some black grapes have been kept in the glass dish. Eat, eat
plenty. Grapes purify the blood.” He got up and gave Mohendra grapes from
the bowl. “Take, take and eat; it will purify your blood.” That day he was very
expansive.
One afternoon at four o’clock Goodwin came and informed Mohendra that
Swamiji wanted to see him. Mohendra was just coming back from a trip out
and was ready to go and wash his face; but getting a summons from Swamiji he
quickly went to him without delay. At that moment Swamiji was in
conversation with four or five visitors. Of course the talk had been in English.
When the formalities were over, Swamiji, noticing that Mohendra had no tie
and collar, and his hair was not properly brushed, said [in Bengali?] “You
shouldn’t come into the room in such a condition. Don’t use a collar for a
whole week; change it twice a week. Using a dirty collar looks very bad. And
always keep your hair neat and clean; your coat, vest and everything too.
Gentlemanly behavior and appearance is of the first importance. Otherwise you
will be despised.” Swamiji looked closely into everything and particularly
noticed correctness of behavior and dress.

Customs of language and dress

 When in conversation the subject of the Hindi language came up, Swamiji
said, “The Hindi which the ordinary servant, porter, doorman and cabby learn
is not at all the Hindi of the western gentleman; it is called “Cabby Hindi.” So
saying, he amused us by giving some illustrations of that. “To explain it all,” he
said, “vulgar Hindi is a thing in itself; there are many Sanskrit words in it. Also
many Arabic and Persian words. Although this language has currency in many
parts of India, there is one or another variation on this language.”
Another morning the subject of the Rajputs came up, and then the topic of
their clothing. Swamiji said, “Bengalis put on the dhoti of course, but they
fasten it in such a way that if the slightest breeze is blowing, the cloth gets
disarranged and flies up, in even a little wind. That way no running is possible.
If a bull chases you, look out! Putting the cloth on like that makes it a kind of
paraphernalia, and one can hardly do any work in that! But the
Rajputs dhuti method is quite beautiful. They wrap around the legs to look like
trousers; they can work, run and find convenience.” And he showed everyone
with his own trousers and his hand, the Rajput custom. “In our country people
do not sit before an image or before a king with their feet exposed. It is also
forbidden in the scriptures. It isn’t proper to point the feet at a deity or a king.
Hence the custom of wearing rolled pajamas. Otherwise the cloth is to be worn
in such a way as not to show the lower portions of the body. So at that time one
is to sit with one’s legs and hips well covered. This instruction is specifically
given in ancient scriptures. The Bengali custom of wearing the dhoti badly
needs changing. Clothing etc. must be put on in such a way that strength comes
to the heart and people can feel lively. Otherwise putting things on sloppily, a
person becomes lazy, loses enthusiasm in everything and slowly grows effete.”
One can see how he was continually pondering the welfare of his native land.
When Swami Saradananda had his attack of malarial fever, Sturdy had big
doctors brought to the house and spent twelve pounds or so on medicine, which
mortified Swami Saradananda. Mohendra came back to the house in the
afternoon and found things in quite a state. Swamiji entered the room and said
to him, “Where did you go at noon? Sarat had fever and how restless he has
become! In the fuss made over a little fever, the whole house has become fed-
up and inconvenienced. So long as this fellow is ill, stay by him; when he has
fever he will create more problems. The man is a malarial patient; see how he
moans with fever. Swami Saradananda became quite embarrassed at this
affectionate scolding. He pulled the covers off his head down to his neck and
blinked his eyes, but said not a word. A bit later, when Swamiji had gone away,
the two of them chuckled. As the fever abated, Swami Saradananda said with a
laugh, “We are malaria-country people; we get this illness twelve months a
year and are used to that. But here people have never seen this kind of disease,
so they raise a fuss over it.”
Swamiji says more about Americans

Swamiji said one day, “The Americans don’t eat much, but how much they
take! They will eat one or tow spoonfuls and throw the rest away.
And they eat such a variety! As the people eat, so are they able to work and
earn. That is why they live so long and keep well. But how can the Indians live
on so little food? On a half or a quarter of stomach full? They have no
enthusiasm or perseverance, always depressed and despairing. What little they
can do in the world does not occur to them. They have forgotten what strength
still remains in them. They see only death ahead, and sit spineless. They have
no power to make anything new. To what a frightful state the race has fallen!
Will it not die out at last? Often I sit and think of this. And I think about this
question of the Americans. Between the two races, what a difference of heaven
and hell! One says, ‘By my own power I will slash all the obstacles from my
path and proceed,’ and the other says hopelessly. despairingly, ‘What will
happen? How can I manage?’ The main reason for this downfall is the
wretched diet. Wretchedly they eat, wretched they are; so the race has come to
this pass.” We all saw big tears welling from the corners of his eyes. In the
effort to express in words his feeling, that feeling had erupted on his face like a
volcano. Then we were all overwhelmed by it.
Another day Swamiji said, “How long the Americans live! At eighty or
ninety years they work like young people. Those who have become old
scarcely remember it. That idea has been completely routed from their mind.
The country is free, the people happy, in everything there is zeal. Money, too,
comes easily to hand, so they can enjoy life for many years. Death itself seems
afraid to come near them. English people too, live long and their bodies are
strong and virile; but in what a sorry plight are the Indians, who dies so
quickly. Their faces always wear a fearful expression. They look like a
shapeless mass, lifeless, without hope or endurance, no zeal for anything and
no desire for it, nor for doing anything new. So they soon die. Will they not die
out, leaving no trace? What misery! How sad.” The color drained from
Swamiji’s face and he fell silent for a long time, sunk in sadness and
depression.

Vacation, and Meeting with Paul Deussen

After some time living in London and giving lectures all the time, and
coming in contact with the common people, Swamiji, being very tired and
urged by all to go for “a change of air,” decided to do so. In the summer recess
he wanted to make a “Continental tour.” Mohendra moved alone to a house in
Cambridge Street. Sturdy from time to time used to come and stay in that
house. After a few months and an improvement in health, Swamiji returned to
London and related various incidents from the Continental tour.
He spoke of his seeing Deussen and the latter’s special kindness.
He was a scholar specializing in Vedanta and renowned for this, throughout
Europe. Such a pandit, and so well-read, yet he was just like a child. His
children would be yelling for their breakfast; instead of concerning himself to
feed them, he would be engrossed in his Vedantic study. But from Swamiji’s
conversation and expression, it was clear that Deussen was fit to be only a
student, compared to Swami Vivekananda. Probably his meeting with Swamiji
took place before his coming to London. At the time of discussing this with
Sturdy, Swamiji expressed his affection for Deussen and gave vent to his own
opinions, to which Sturdy assented. The significance of this incident is that
such was Swamiji’s extraordinary genius and astonishing power, that even a
famous pandit of Germany respectfully bowed before him like a disciple.
At about this time an incident occurred in Paris which is particularly apropos
here. One day Swamiji went with the Duchess de Palma in a hired phaeton
from Paris to a suburb for a change of air. Swamiji had studied French and
could also converse nicely in it. The Duchess said to him in English, “The
coachman of this carriage can converse in excellent polished French.”
(Something unexpected of a coachman.) While this conversation was going on,
the carriage came to the side of the village road. A maid-servant had brought a
little boy and girl out for a walk. The coachman stopped the coach and, coming
down, took the children in his lap and kissed and stroked them, and then got
back in the driver’s seat. The Duchess de Palma saw with surprised that these
were children of gentlefolk, yet this person who was a cabman had fondled
them like this. So asked him, “Why did you do that? Those are gentlemen’s
children.”
Said the cabman, stopping and turning back to the Duchess, “They are my
children. Have you heard of (Such and such a) Bank in Paris?”
The Duchess replied, “That was big bank, but it has failed.”
The coachman said, “I am the manager of that bank. I watched it fail. To pay
back the debt will require several years. Now there is the need to have my neck
in the grasp of someone else. I have kept my wife and son and daughter in a
rented village house. There is just a maid to look after them. With what little I
had I bought this phaeton and have taken up driving. I support myself and my
family with what I get. But when the debt is paid off, again I will open a bank
and be a banker.”
Swamiji, amazed and delighted at this story, said to us all, “This is what I
call a Practical Vedantist. This man has understood the essence of Vedanta.
Falling from such an estate to this low condition, he is nonetheless unmoved,
steadily going about this work. He is in no way overcome. Thank God for such
a power of mind. This man is really a Vedantist.” Swamiji often told the story. I
do not remember all he said. There were many other things said about the
Continental tour, but I do not recall them now.
PART III

Swami Vivekananda’s mood, language, words, pronunciation and everything

changed at the time of his lecturing. It was exactly as if each thought were
expressed as a living image. “Ideas have their form, colors and dimensions,” he
would say. That is why his lectures seemed so alive.
Goodwin did not take notes on the lectures at the R.I.P.W. Gallery because
all those had been given already in America. He took notes of all the Raja Yoga
and often of other conversation.
There was a special feature of Swamiji’s lectures: the language that he used
for a particular subject – that very same language he employed when that
subject came up again. Idea and speech were one. “The first impression of a
truth comes in the form of a picture,” he used to say. Another thing was that
whenever he made a digression from his subject, upon concluding that he
would return just to the point where he had left off. So his line of thought was
unbroken.
One morning everyone was sitting in the downstairs room. Sturdy was not
there. Swami Saradananda, Mohendra, Goodwin and probably Fox were there.
Swamiji sat a long time in his chair, deep in thought. Then all at once he began
to say, “So’ham, so’ham.” The look on his face, the tone of his voice, became
utterly changed. His face became the veritable picture of joy. In this bliss he
began to pace the floor or dance for awhile. Everyone was astonished. Here
was a new person, a free person. Then he became silent and sat again in his
chair. Slowly his mood passed off and he became like a normal man.
When staying in the St. George’s Road house became inconvenient Fox and
I moved to another house [“on the side” – next door?] (This was shortly before
Swamiji traveled to the Continent.) Goodwin sometimes stayed there. One day
about four-thirty or five in the afternoon, Goodwin came in and told me
Swamiji was sending for me. I went quickly to the St. George’s Road house. In
the upper room on the street side there was a kind of porch, which we called
“the lounge.” Swamiji and Miss Muller were sitting there. After asking me one
or two questions, Swamiji resumed his conversation with Miss Muller.
“The doctrine of reincarnation,” he said, “was in ancient Egypt because they
used to preserve the dead body” – any injury to a limb of the corpse would
mean an injury to the spiritual entity. Even if the dead man was bound by some
debt, it meant the double too, was bound by that. Thus was the idea of
reincarnation first hypothesized by the ancient Egyptians. Later this idea
entered India and more or less pervaded the various races.” At this there was a
lot of discussion about rebirth which I do not now recall. It was the first time I
had heard the above idea.
“Trace out the idea,” he said. “That is, take up an idea and see its spread in a
hundred channels, among which races and in what forms it has been carried,
and which idea was expressed among which people in what way – all this can
be shown.”

Astronomy

Then with Miss Muller the subject of astronomy came up. What is
particularly worth mentioning here is that in ancient days there was no
telescope, yet what the ancient sages if India had said about the composition of
the planets etc. was true, it has become evident. Swamiji said, “There is a
branch of Raja Yoga called ‘self-identification’ – I am the planet, the planet is
myself.’ In this way, when the two became one, all the qualities and things
embodied in that planet or star are reflected in the person. This can be used also
to investigate other things besides planets. What today’s science is telling us
about the planets, the Indian sages mentioned in different ways.”
In this way he talked about what form astronomy had taken in which
countries, and how it had been transformed and how ideas had passed from one
land to another, and how all these ideas had been improved. He spoke in his
chair just as he had while lecturing. He showed that day his knowledge of the
science. He had read and thought much about it, otherwise such erudite and
detailed descriptions he could never have given.
From time to time Miss Muller would say, “You can silence me but you
cannot convince me.” Then I went away.

Goings and Comings

He and Miss Muller now went to the Continent [19th July]. Even then
Swamiji used to stay at Lady Ferguson’s house, 57 St. George’s Road. Fox and
I began to live in a house nearby. Not staying near him, I did not know
everything. Anyway, Goodwin went again to America and so did Fox, as he
was an American. I moved to another house. The cold weather began: probably
it was October. One evening Goodwin suddenly came into my room. I was
bowled over. He had returned only a few days before from America
[13th October]. Someone was with him, I saw, dressed in English clothes. It was
dusk, I had been startled, I could not recognize this person. But Goodwin was
talking to me. With embarrassment I asked the name of the newcomer. Then
this person took off his hat. I saw it was Swami Abhedananda. Then how I
rejoiced! Goodwin said, “Now talk in your own language!” (Because the
British custom was that when a person was present who did not understand a
language, it was discourteous to use that). Anyway, when Goodwin left I lit up
my pipe, Abhedananda put a cigarette in his mouth, and we went out for a
walk. Abhedananda said he would have to lecture the next day [27th Oct.]. At
this time Swamiji left 57 St. George’s Road and took Swami Abhedananda
with him to live in Westminster on the ground floor [actually, below ground],
Greycoat Gardens. Goodwin was to live there too.

First public lecture of Swami Abhedananda

In the afternoon (of the next day) on the roof of a “bus”. Sturdy and Swamiji
sat in front while Swami Abhedananda, Goodwin and I sat behind. We arrived
at 33 Bloomsbury Square, WC1. The house was extremely well-appointed. On
the stairway was a stuffed bearskin and a statue. The rooms had gas lanterns.
On one side of the first floor a mountain and waterfall had been created with
ferns and rocks and moss. One could see that the master of the house was very
fashionable. A meeting had gathered in a large hall inside. Swami
Abhedananda and I sat on a sofa at one side. In the middle of the side of a table
sat Swamiji, Sturdy and several other people. And in various places around the
room people were seated in chairs. Swami Abhedananda began his lecture; he
was not accustomed to it, especially before English people, and after a few
minutes became a bit self-conscious. His words seemed to get stuck. I touched
his knee and whispered, “It’s going fine. Carry on.” Then the rest came out
well. His subject was the book Pancadasi.
A question period followed. As the younger Swami was new and unfamiliar,
Swami Vivekananda undertook to answer the questions. Anyway the lecture
was well-attended and everyone well pleased. When it broke up in the evening
people came down to the outer door. Goodwin was almost dancing with joy,
that Swami Abhedananda’s lecture had been successful. Swamiji said, “Kali,
why were you nervous about lecturing in England? They too often get stage-
fright, they make a lot of noise, and say things like ‘you see, you see.’ Your
lecture was very good.” Swami Abhedananda had written out his lecture and
read it over several times before giving it. Because it was the first day, naturally
he had been a bit nervous. Then all went home by bus. Swamiji and Sturdy
went in another direction. Goodwin and Abhedananda went to their
Westminster quarters.
At this time in Victoria Street near the Army-Navy Store Building in a rented
hall upstairs Swami Abhedananda began to hold a Gita and Vedanta class. I
went to it one afternoon. By that time Swami Vivekananda had returned to
India. Swami Abhedananda at that time was staying in Sturdy’s house in
Holland Park Avenue [Villas]. When the Gita class was over I talked with
Swami Abhedananda for a while and then came home. A few days later I went
to Sturdy’s house and met the Swami and the two of us went to the house of a
Mrs. Turner for Indian cooking – ruti and so on. At that time he was giving a
talk in some meeting on “sarva-dharma-samanvaya,” The Harmony of
Religions. After that I did not know much about Swami Abhedananda. Later he
went to America.

Reporting of Swamiji’s lectures resumes

“In the early stages a lot of nonsense comes up in the mind in meditation.
Endlessly, vulgar and uncontrolled thoughts are present, so that you may feel
‘Even in dreams I never thought like this. Very vile thoughts, too, arise at this
time. Then too, four or five thoughts come at once and create an uproar in the
mind. The ingredients a person’s mind has been composed of, surface at this
time. Many wild and fearful pictures may come before our eyes. There is a
limit even to the ravings of a madman, but not to this, it seems! Yet there is no
need to be afraid.
“If one practices meditation regularly for some days, the breathing becomes
controlled. The breathing of the average person is irregular and unrhythmical.
After some meditation, the body feels free, spontaneous, and heaviness,
weakness and sloth disappear. As inertia goes, the body feels light, but there
will be this special sign that within the person a power of attraction will arise.
Willy-nilly people will be attracted to such. Affection, sweetness, profundity
will be noticed in all one’s actions. It is as if one has gradually left one’s old
body and taken on a new one.”
Swamiji in his Raja Yoga lectures made a special point of this: that at the
time of such sadhana married persons must avoid sexual relations. He used to
say this repeatedly. If that virile power goes downward to another body, or to
produce offspring, it is not available for rising to the higher “lotuses.” Only
then can the mind rise up to the sahasrara and have God-vision.
While giving these Raja Yoga lectures Swamiji would go from the dualistic
state into the non-dualistic; finally he would arrive at the pure Advaita. Then it
would become obvious what an independent being, a free soul, he was. He
would stand with his spine absolutely straight. This was the method or posture
for meditation. Meditation could be done while lying on one’s back: this is
called the “corpse posture.” But meditating deeply while standing on one’s
feet, very few are able to do.
Swamiji, taking up a subject, would begin in a soft manner. Gradually his
mood would change and (voice) become louder. The sweet tones of his
beginning, with the gracious expression and affectionate eyes little by little
would begin to change. Then his body would become straight as a rod. His
hips, spine, neck and head all seemed as if suspended from a common string.
Slowly his meditative mood would deepen, his tone of voice become altogether
altered. His rhythmical sonorous voice would come from his throat in an
unobstructed stream. People nearby and those farther away also, could hear that
sound. In that voice of his there was not note of harshness, nor of sweetness,
nor of sorrow, nor of “I and you.” It was as if in boundless space a vibration
had arisen, been converted into waves and that sound was gradually penetrating
everyone’s ear and body – to the very marrow of the bones. Yet everyone at
such times had this particular feeling that they had no body. Body-
consciousness was totally removed. Place was absent: even the consciousness
that one was sitting somewhere was gone. Time was nothing, and there was no
awareness of one speaking and others listening. Speaker and audience were
totally one. Neither had a gross body. All had risen to the causal body and from
the vast firmament, the sound was becoming a single wave-current vibration
[attempted translation – Ed.]. Then he would often say, “I am a voice without
form.”
His power to make others feel like this was like a communicable disease.
That is why all the topics and arguments of his lectures could not be
remembered or taken notice of; it was the living power that was the reality: the
arguments, the language, were unreal. The samadhi was the inner
consciousness. He would say, “I am directly seeing and feeling the Truth; I am
perceiving Truth and I am myself the Truth.”
Swami Vivekananda demonstrates samadhi

Day after day, when Swamiji would give the lecture, there would be no chair
in the place where he was accustomed to stand. One day before the lecture he
asked Goodwin to put a chair there. And the evening lecture began. He started
to talk a lot about samadhi and the different forms of it. The audience was
absorbed in this new topic. The higher samadhi was brought up. He said that in
this, all the external nerves became actionless and the inner ones awakened: in
other words, all the external mental waves are suppressed. “All vrittis become
stilled and the gross body and causal body separate and the mind plunges into
the depths. The gross body becomes totally motionless and vibrationless and
the subtle or causal body becomes activated. Samadhi is not sleep nor any kind
of intoxication nor the drowsiness of basking in the heat. When one’s sleep
breaks and one wakes up, one returns to one’s previous mentality; there is no
particular change. Drunkenness brings a kind of stupor, but afterwards the mind
is lower; not so in samadhi. A fool or ignoramus coming out of samadhiwould
be a wise person. His path would open and he would manifest a new expression
which he would never have known before. Ignorant persons would become
sages, as it were, weak-minded persons, persons of mental power; knowledge
would appear before them.
“In samadhi mind leaves the sense-bound world and goes to the
supersensuous where it sees truth directly. One touches it with one’s hand and
oneself becomes truth. So when one returns to the gross body, one is a free
soul, one’s whole attitude becomes one of freedom – the look on one’s face, the
glance of one’s eyes – all become changed.” Swamiji would often say, “The
fool becomes a sage, without book-learning. Truth has to be seen, to be dug
out, to be realized.”
In this way the lecture went on for about forty-five minutes. The audience
had been able to understand a little of this topic, but it was mere hearsay; they
had not seen it. Somehow they had been able to get some idea of it. Now
Swamiji brought up the chair, and sitting in lotus posture with straight spine
became totally absorbed. His face altogether changed. His eyes were half-
opened and the pupils turned up. Swamiji’s eyes were by nature larger than
most people’s; often the pupil would seem to be very prominent. But in
this samadhi a portion of the white of the eyeball was clearly visible.
Everyone was struck on seeing this samadhi. Many of those sitting at a
distance stood up to stare at the new sight. Goodwin stopped writing and
turning around in his chair, looked fixedly at Swamiji’s face. It was something
new to all. There was a bit of a stir, but no commotion; all were surprised and
awed. Swamiji remained in this condition for three or four minutes, not
moving, not breathing, like a living image made of flesh. Then he brought his
mind down, gave out a long breath, which (because the room was hushed), was
clearly audible. Then he got up from the chair and pushed it behind him and
again began to speak on various matters concerned withsamadhi.
“When I used to study spirituality,” he said, “at the feet of a great soul, he
would always be going into samadhi. His would be of a very high order and he
would be in it much of the time: he could not keep his mind in the sense-bound
world for very long. I am a small man – I have been able to understand only a
very little of him and his samadhi. That day people were so overwhelmed that
they had no courage to make any special conversation with him. There was no
question period and Swamiji, too, seemed more tired that evening, or perhaps
more serious and disinclined to talk or company. [A footnote is given: at
Baranagore Math in the first stage, in the rainy season one afternoon,
Swamiji’s savikalpa samadhi was observed. Because of his practice
of samadhi he could have it while walking – but there was no body-
consciousness. He had had it several times at Cossipore Garden too. But having
this samadhi at lecture time and many persons seeing it, is particularly worth
mentioning (or “remarkable”). They could clearly see and understand the
topic.]

Details of meditation and prayer

“By fixing the mind on a spot between the eyebrows, or on some object of
meditation, if one can keep it there, the outgoing tendency of the mind is
reversed. It is quite difficult at first, but by some days’ practice, the mind can
reach the incorporeal state. In the corporeal state of gross body, the mind takes
on various fickle moods, but in the incorporeal this is greatly lessened and the
mind stabilizes itself.
“I am the giver of my own blessing.” In the course of the a lecture it came up
that if we make sincere prayer or restless demand of the Lord, our desires are
fulfilled – even to the extent of getting direct counsel. How does this come
about? Swamiji said, “By thinking uninterruptedly about one thing and
combining devotion to the Lord with that, the mind itself goes upward and
often becomes forgetful of body, time, place etc. Going further it is conscious
only of itself as truth; no other awareness is there. Its own truth becomes
reflected in the cidakasa and in this reflected state becomes the light of
consciousness. Often it is evident that the higher mind, observing in the light of
consciousness the entreaties of the gross body, satisfies these and give
reassurance – in other words, one’s own subtle or higher condition has taken a
certain form and the gross body is as if asking the prayers. Of itself this high
state blesses the gross body. It is not that as soon as one prays, one’s prayers
are answered; the causal body determines whether or not the prayers will be
answered. Normally we go on thinking that some god or heavenly being is
hearing our inmost prayer, and he, condescending through his grace, is
fulfilling it. This is the popular idea, but if our mind goes higher, it can be
clearly seen that I am granting my own boons – that is, the subtle ‘I’ is blessing
the ‘I’ which is in bondage.

Despicable “sadhus”

“Sadhus and ascetics go wandering in different places. So they do not keep

much with them in the way of belongings. Many, ignoring the proprieties
of sadhana, take recourse to various kinds of austerities. Some sit on a plank of
nails. Others do pancatapa with fire on four sides and the sun overhead. Others
smear themselves with ashes. All these practices have gone on for ages. What
is more, there is one class of sadhu who declare themselves unclean sadhus. On
their bodies there are vermin, and of course they smell bad. They are afraid lest
any living creatures be killed, so when one falls off their bodies, they will put it
back on. These care so much for the life of any living thing, their own odor and
the spreading of vermin and disease does not trouble them. This kind of ‘sadhu-
behavior’ is a reprehensible and should be forbidden. It should not be tolerated
as it is a menace to society.”

Past, present, future

In one lecture Swamiji said that where past and future become mingled, there
is samadhi. We are always thinking of the past and the future; it is the present
which forms the center of things. But so swiftly flow the currents of our
thought, that in thought itself the present becomes fragmented into past and
future. So the mind dwells on the future and can understand that, but cannot
hold on to the isolated present. When the simple present or existent is the center
[of attention?] one experiences one’s own nature, and there past and future
become one; and that is samadhi.

Vedantic relativity

Theory of transition. One day he said in the lecture: “Body is a stream of

matter entering into one end and coming out the other, and the name of this
transition is body. Thought too is being endlessly transformed. As far as we can
imagine or see, there is change in everything. If mind too is always changing,
then after death there will not be anything remaining which we can call
existence. In that case our future existence or permanent existence cannot be.
The Self would be lost. For one mass in the form of the universe is arising with
all its ingredients; if the ingredients get changed, the whole, too, will be ruined.
So the Atman would dissolve.” (This is Buddhistic and a conclusion not desired
by us.)
Swamiji gave the illustration of the sun. “That Reality is One, but when the
mind reaches a higher state, we see the Reality as larger and larger and we go
from vast to vaster. From earth we see the sun as a rather small bright object,
but we can easily imagine that if we rise very high in the sky we shall see it as
immense and much, much larger than our own earth. It is the center around
which not only Earth but other earths revolve. When our mind is constricted we
see the petty qualities of a thing; when it is expanded we are able to catch its
innumerable aspects. He was very fond of this illustration and used it often.

Up and down relativity. Swamiji spoke on this in a very beautiful way. “We
always gauge up, down and the directions, but this relative idea of ours is not
based on permanence, but on certain conventions; but if these conventions are
trespassed, the truth based on them no longer holds good. When we look
around on this earth, we use ‘up,’, ‘down,’ ‘east,’ ‘west’ and such words, and
here all these are meaningful, but leaving earth and rising into the Great Void
or eternal space in which the earth is revolving, no such directional words are
applicable. Where a comparison can be made between one thing and another,
such directions are meaningful.”

Substance and quality

At one evening lecture he began with a deep and commanding voice.

“Substance and quality! We speak of the qualities of all these objects we are
looking at; in the domain of the sense-bound world we explain the qualities of
things. According to one view (Buddhist) as an aggregate of accumulated
qualities an object is created. This bundle of qualities is called ‘reality’. There
cannot be anything behind it; and if this aggregate disappears, no reality
remains.” Pointing to the wall on his left, he said, “We are seeing this wall; its
color, its length etc. – all these are names of its qualities. Because they have
become combined, we call this a wall. And so with everything else: certain
combined qualities we call a table, others a gas lamp etc. In this view, it is the
qualities which are the basic entity and beyond them there is nothing.
Aggregates of qualities creates. And so long as all those qualities stay together,
we understand that object, but in time, when the collection of qualities one by
one disappears, then inversion occurs and when all the qualities disappear it is
destroyed.
“This would all be true of the mind as well. After the death of the body, so
long as our subtle or causal body remains as a bundle of qualities, so long is
there personality or personal existence, but not thereafter. This is called
Nihilism. There cannot be any permanent substance called Self. When we say
‘self’ we are thinking of some quality or other. We cannot think without
qualities, such as stability, existence, indestructibility. So self or any such thing
must break up some time or other. Everything dissolves into the Void, where
there is no quality. That is the only noumenon. If you speak of God, the
Creator, it simply means taking certain quality-bundles; we project some
imaginary being whom we call God, who in time will also perish.”
Everyone was fooled by this exposition into thinking this was his view,
unanswerable. After a little while he raised the question, “But there are several
objections to this. Do the qualities belong to the substance, or the substance to
the qualities?
These are relative terms.

Especially when we say qualities, we are aware of ebb and flow, but when
we say substance, we think of the eternal and unchanging. We never perceive
all the qualities at any one time, and perhaps one person perceives twenty
qualities, while the object looks the same to everyone.
Even if we speak of qualities, one explains them in one’s own way and our
awareness of substance is unchanging, while our awareness of qualities is
changing. It cannot be that the idea of the permanent has been superimposed on
the impermanent. Quality is the illuminator or witness; but the question is, even
if the qualities are all aggregated, is there apperception of our permanent
substance?
“Our permanent substance beyond qualities is unchanging and eternal. Our
mind is divided and fickle. Therefore if we perceive the Undivided, we have to
do it by means of the bundle of qualities. We cannot express the permanence of
a thing by means of the quality-bundle, as the former is itself the expresser and
beyond the qualities. Nothing can be called the Void. We are accustomed to see
the divided because we always observe with a divided mind and thought. So if
we enter the Undivided, we become frightened and distressed and, not being
able to find our usual aggregate of qualities, we feel it as void. But this very
Undivided is Fullness.”
This lecture consumed about one-and-a-half hours. He resorted to many
philosophical arguments on both sides, comparing both, and finally propounded
the Absolute of the Vedanta.

More lecture reports

Swamiji once said, “The trend of our mind is called a tendency (vritti) but
the word really means circling. We have certain natural tendencies or we are
under the sway of these, most of the time. These are degrading or harmful to
others. Abiding in all these lower tendencies, the mind gets dirty and degraded.
How can we stop such lower tendencies? That same lower tendency which
depresses the mind must be replaced by filling the mind with its opposite
higher one. For example, if anger overcomes the mind, to ward this off, the
quality of forgiveness is to be cultivated. To get rid of egoism, cultivate
sincerity (or uprightness). For injury, practice compassion or generosity.”
One evening Swamiji began his lecture with the quotation, “Both you and I,
O Arjuna, have passed through many births; you know them not, but I know
them all.” He talked a long time about the causes of rebirth. Letting our gross
body go, we go with our subtle one, but our previous experience remains to a
great extent in that subtle body. That is why it gets expression again through a
suitable vehicle or receptacle. Therefore many experiences of previous births
are visible in the human body. Two offspring are quite different in their
endowment of intellect. This is explainable by reincarnation. Heredity is not
enough. Swamiji said that when frightful plague occurred in England many
years ago, it was noticed afterwards that the birthrate increased. This doctrine
(of reincarnation) was found in many races in olden times.

Swami Vivekananda in an ecstatic mood

One day, toward evening, he said to Goodwin, “Please go down to the

kitchen and tell the housekeeper to keep some fire in the stove. I will take a
bath before retiring. The water boiler was next to the stove and hot water went
to a cistern in the bathroom on the second floor. Having been busy the whole
day, he had had no time to bathe, and it was not the custom to bathe every day.
If one took a bath once or twice a week, it was considered enough. Swamiji,
finishing his conversation with everyone, went to the bathroom at nine or nine-
thirty, took plenty of hot water and had his bath; then he lay down in his
pajamas. In England people have the custom of getting inside the covers. They
work all day, have no time for bath, wash only hands and face, so at night they
often take a hot bath and wrap up cozily in their blankets.
Swamiji chuckled a little. “You see,” he said, “at night I go to my room and
lie down. I keep quiet for a while, and then within me so much anandaarises
that I cannot stay lying down. I see the Blissful Mother. Men, animals, the sky
and earth – all are saturated with bliss. I cannot lie or sit any longer, so I get up
and dance in the middle of the room. That bliss can no longer be confined
within my heart. The whole world becomes filled with it, as it were.” Saying
this he began to dance a little while, like a child, and said, “Be happy; don’t be
depressed, everything will be filled – the Bliss Mother is everywhere – all will
be filled with bliss.” That day his facial expression, gestures and tone of voice,
all were expressions of freedom, as if he had become the very image of ananda.
But there was not the slightest touch of waywardness, so deep, so affecting, so
affectionate, was the mood. All of us were dumbfounded watching Swamiji,
and nobody could say a word.

Lecture at the Theosophical Lodge

A lecture was given in the Theosophists’ Hall. Near Regent’s Park, probably
in the section named Park Avenue, at 19 Avenue Road, St. John’s Wood, there
is a prominent establishment where the writer once visited. They had invited
Swamiji to give a lecture there on Vegetarianism and he had agreed. Now
Swamiji said to Swami Saradananda, “Sharat, you go and give that lecture.”
The latter was speechless and felt as if the sky had fallen on him. Upstairs he
said to Mohendra, “Well, brother, Naren has put me into a fix. What danger
there is here! I will have to give a lecture face to face; if I make a mistake, they
will say, “He is inexperienced.” And Naren gets so worked-up; if a mistake is
made perhaps he will knock me down! Am I finally to get a beating in my old
age? Earlier he told me I would have to go to America and give lectures: that
doesn’t bother me: over there, what will be will be; Naren will not be staying
there. The danger is here in his presence. He can get so angry! If I am abused I
will take it.”
So Swami Saradananda was in difficulty. Even though himself a powerful
man, because of lack of practice in speaking, he had no self-confidence. That is
why he was hesitating so. If Swamiji asked a question, Swami Saradananda
very humbly would answer with hesitation, indirectly showing his nervousness.
Swamiji sometimes would fire him up with self-confidence, sometimes good-
naturedly scold him. Both actions were indicative of their mutual love.
At any rate, one afternoon Swamiji himself went to the Theosophist’s hall
and gave the lecture. He praised vegetarianism and talked about the difference
in manifestation of power due to the diets of the elephant and the lion. He
extolled vegetarianism at great length. But at the end of the talk, he confessed
that he was not always a vegetarian; sometimes he ate fish and flesh. Even if
unable always to follow the ideal, he did not believe in lowering it. Showing by
reference to their respective diets, the similarities and differences of the English
and Indian races, he made the lecture interesting.
Coming back from the lecture he said to Swami Saradananda, “Go on, you
shouldn’t be afraid any more. Why, I gave a few words I had fixed up in
advance and added whatever came to my mouth. They don’t have a hyper-
critical attitude. Stirring and mixing, I showed who have the high ideals. They
understand worldliness well enough. Why are you so afraid of them? Just
trample on them like noxious insects. The essence of philosophy is found only
among the Hindus. It will take a long time for them to understand India.” He
spoke all of this walking back and forth in the room. When Swamji had gone to
another room, Swami Saradananda said, “Anyway, my boy, the fever with its
perspiration is over; now one part is finished; today at least I have escaped a
scolding. Who knows when or where again he will tell me to give a lecture? If I
stay around him, that is the peril. Let me now run to America. There, if I don’t
make a go of it, I bolt, via Japan.”

A fish dinner

One day Sturdy and Miss Muller had gone elsewhere and that evening
cabbage curry with fish was prepared. Swami Saradananda, Swamiji, Goodwin
and Mohendra sat down at the table. The palate was much gratified to savor
cabbage cooked with fish, after a long time. Even if it was not cooked in the
genuine Indian way, the imitation itself was good. Probably Goodwin did not
take any, as he had become a complete vegetarian. Swami Saradananda too,
usually was, but whether he ate this dish on that day, I do not exactly recall.
After dinner Swamiji was pacing the floor. He was very happy. Goodwin
remarked, “You teach vegetarianism. You give lectures on vegetarian food –
why have you just now eaten fish?” Swamiji laughed and said, “Well, the cook
brought the fish. If I didn’t eat it, it would be thrown down the drain; instead I
have thrown it into my stomach. What harm is there in that? He quoted a
Sanskrit sloka: “I am not the enjoyer etc.” and began to gloss on it. “I never eat;
the body is the receptacle and into it various objects are put.” Goodwin, a little
annoyed, replied, “I don’t understand all that Sanskrit you are muttering.”
Swamiji again tried to give a Vedantic reply. Goodwin, more heated now said,
“You are trying to counter my words with words. What I want to know is, why
you are eating fish?” Swamiji was very jolly that day. Making a face at
Goodwin, he got him more worked up. There was no serious mood in him; he
was simple as a child and irritated Goodwin by laughing and smiling. Then,
quoting more Sanskrit he said: “When you are threatened, hold still; when you
are on the crest of the wave, be forgiving; never be vengeful.” Then each of
them went his way.
The momentariness of knowledge

The doctrine of momentary knowledge came up in one lecture. Our

knowledge depends on qualities, but qualities are always changing. The
permanent or eternal entity is not in the qualities. So our knowledge is coming
in a momentary way. For a little while there is knowledge, but it cannot remain
even for a moment. The qualities are under the power of time, space and
causation and as these three are changing every moment, so must qualities be.
So we know something one moment, but the very next moment it is erased and
a new piece of knowledge arises. So an eternal ineradicable knowledge we
cannot have.
“But one may raise this objection: all this change that we see depends on
knowledge; because there is knowledge, we are perceiving the change or
changing objects. Due to the knowledge of an eternal unchanging, permanent
entity, we are perceiving the momentary; without that, how could there be the
knowledge of the active? Due to our present confusion it is supposed that we do
not apprehend eternal and unbroken knowledge. But that is arising sui generis;
just for the sake of reasoning and argumentation we are using the momentary
knowledge. This is because of delusion.
Swamiji used in his lectures many Indian philosophical terms. He would
explain at length in English many technical words from Sanskrit philosophical
texts. He would enliven any subject he took up.

History of Gaya and Bodh-Gaya

 “When Buddha was after enlightenment, and was wandering under the name
Gautama, he came to Gaya and studied for a while with a certainrishi. The
name of the place was Gayasirsha. In the heyday of the Buddhists it was
regarded as very sacred. Later when the Hindu revival came, the Hindus could
not altogether obliterate the place. They respected it for its sanctity but gave
their own explanations.
“In the Puranas there is the story of Vishnu’s battle with a daitya named
Gayasura. The latter met defeat at the hands of Vishnu, who interred him in a
mound of earth and kept him under it with his own foot. But between victor and
vanquished, there was this bargain: that every day at this spot people would
offer (the) rice balls (of sraddha rite) and if any day the offering was neglected,
Gayasura would destroy the whole world. In this way the Hindus made use of
Puranic stories about each Buddhist tirtha to dispel the Buddhist influence.

Recalling past lives

Swamiji told many stories from the “Jataka series” of Buddha’s former
births, especially the one of the tigress. That day his face was very peaceful and
he was full of love and bliss, as if experiencing fullness of love for all
creatures. There was not a trace of hardness, only enthusiasm and bliss. His
mood of joy became much more attractive than the Jataka tales. The
appearance of his face became quite different; for Swamiji always used to say,
“If I meditate on the brain of a Sankara, I become Sankara, if on the brain of a
Buddha, I become Buddha.” In any case, that evening he seemed to be a new
Buddha, recounting to his audience his own Jataka stories and the mood was
much more than the lecture. He said that Lord Buddha was able to remember
his previous lives. How many times he had been a wild animal, how many
times a monkey, how many times one level of human being or another – all this
he could recall.
He further said that Kapila, the “father of psychology,” also could recall his
past births. People ordinarily make the chief object of meditation either the
future or the transcendental. But there is another type of meditation which
looks backward: what I did this morning, or yesterday, or in previous years.
Usually this process takes one back only to the period of the three-or-four-year-
old, and most people cannot go back of that. But if someone, with tremendous
energy breaks through the barrier, then one-and-a-half years, one year, six
months – these ages yield to him, and even the embryonic condition he can
remember. If this happens, he can know all about his former lives. But to come
to this point of polarization is very difficult.
 The stories of Narada, and Hercules, deluded by maya.

[Here Mohendra attributes to Swamiji a long story in which the “Narada, bring
me some water” story is mixed with the “Vishnu born as a pig” story; nothing
in it about human wife and children. Narada dreams he is a pig. In a footnote
Mohendra says the other version exists in the Puranas, but that Swamiji told it
this way. So have editors “corrected” it in the Complete Works, or was this a
different occasion? --Trs.]
“Among the Greeks there is a story of Hercules which is quite similar to this.
Hercules, performing twelve labors, got puffed up with pride. He took two
peaks named Calpe and Abyla in his hands and separated them and ocean
poured its waters over the feet of these two mountains. They are otherwise
known as Gibraltar and Mt. Hacho. Proud Hercules was lying down on the far
side of a mountain and began to rage and roar. ‘There is no hero like me; I can
conquer anyone and can be conquered by none.’ Gradually his boasting
increased until the heavens parted and Jupiter, king of gods, came overhead
nearby. Jupiter asked everyone, ‘Where is this boasting coming from, and what
does it mean?’
“’Down on earth,’ the gods replied, ‘a hero has been born named Hercules.
Having performed twelve heroic labors, he is proclaiming his own glory in a
loud voice.’ When Jupiter heard this he smiled and said to the blind boy Cupid,
‘Vanquish this haughty man at once.’ Cupid went up to Hercules and sat down.
Finding him asleep, the flower-armed Cupid shot Hercules with flower arrows.
He fell into a profound sleep and Cupid fled.
“When he awoke, thinking it was not right to stay in one place for many
days, he decided to go somewhere else. In a certain place he saw a very
attractive young maiden sitting in the sun. No one was with her. Hearing her
piteous, grieving cry, Hercules’ heart filled with compassion, and, falling in
love with her, he began to live with her in great happiness.
“To keep house various things are needed. Hercules sometimes carried pots
of water on his shoulders, gathered fuel for fire, and gladly performed other
such duties as a householder. Several years passed in this way. The wife was in
great happiness to get for husband such a hero, and asked of him anything she
wanted; he happily obeyed her.
“One day Hercules was bringing from the forest a heap of fuel on his
shoulders. Just then Jupiter came upon him and asked him where he was going
with that fuel. Hercules no longer had his former power. Like an ordinary man
he replied, ‘Lord, when I take home this fuel my wife will be able to cook;
otherwise the cooking will be much delayed.’ Jupiter asked him what other
work he had to do.
“’Sir,’ said Hercules, ‘I have to draw and bring water. My wife cannot
always negotiate this rough and difficult path through the mountain, so I must
carry water.’
‘What else?’ asked Jupiter.
‘Sir,’ replied Hercules, ‘all kinds of work a householder must do. My wife
just goes to her place and cooks the food. I eat it.’ Then Jupiter laughed and
said,
‘Hercules, did you not boast that you were all-conquering, that none could
vanquish you? Now you have become a bond-servant and are working at the
command of your wife like a slave. Where now is your heroic behavior? Your
all-conquering mood?’ At these words Hercules’ consciousness awoke and his
vision of the woman and home vanished.”

During the Maya-lectures Swamiji said “It is impossible for us to understand

what kind of thing this maya is. All the questions we ask or can ask are within
maya. Remaining within maya to ask about it or size it up, is impossible, for the
question too, is maya and no answer can be given. It is the same questioning
the same. But if an individual, through sadhana, can go beyond maya, he or she
will be able to understand what She is and She has no more reality. Then maya
has dissolved.”

On individuality

One day the question of what individuality is, came up. Swamiji said, “Our
mind is always scattered in various directions; it is not able to remain in a still
or steady state. We are always in a state of divisibility. We cannot stay in an
undivided condition. We are always trying to come from divisibility to
indivisibility. It is only when we reach that, that we shall have our full
manifestation of individuality; meanwhile we are always trying to reach that.”
There were many new ideas in this lecture. It was very powerful and as if a new
light had fallen upon him. Swamiji spoke with great vigor that night.

More on Swamiji’s lecture style

When Swami Vivekananda’s mind would be raised to a very high state, he

would say in a profound tone and with serious face, “It is so because it is so.”
“I have seen Truth with perfect clarity, realized it. There is no need to doubt
this. (i.e., “I am a truth-seer, I have found it; you try too; raise your mind to this
plane and you will find it.)”
He would speak in such a profound, unwavering, hushed and commanding
voice that his whole audience was galvanized into accepting his word as truth.
Such was the rhythmic vibration of his voice that at times it seemed the room
would split open in that power; as if the brains of the listeners would be blasted
in all directions. It was difficult to bear that power, as if a blazing unquenchable
fire had appeared in the middle of the house. What spirit or power is, could
clearly be understood. And, really, it was as if the room were flowing
with Brahmajnana and wisdom, and Swamiji, smiling, was sprinkling it
around, offering anjali with his two hands.
Whatever the reasoning, whatever the illustration, in whatever language it
was couched, or how perfectly it was put, no one cared about that; there was a
power – tangible, graspable, holdable – this the audience seemed clearly to
experience. It was as if there were some kind of power touching their skin and
penetrating into their flesh. Language, reason, argument – these are all inferior
things: from inside Swami Vivekananda a power would come out, a tangible
living thing – that was t he main thing about his lectures. It was not book-
learning power, a philosopher’s power. From his language and argument one
can get many sorts of ideas, but that he could make flow a stream of power-
rays: this was the life and soul of his lectures. As he himself was full
of brahmajnana and wisdom, so he was able to share it with others. But to
make others grasp these was not easy, so a few days afterwards that power
would be withdrawn [or removed]. That is why he often would say,
“It is so because it is so.”

Story of a remarkable sadhu

In an evening lecture Swamiji related the story of the sadhu killed in the
“Indian Mutiny.” A certain sadhu had been doing tapas at Allahabad, at the
time of the battle. He was elderly and a man of extremely peaceful nature. A
Muslim ruffian found him and senselessly stabbed him to death. A short while
before he expired, some Hindu sepoys who had taken part in the Mutiny came
upon him and discovered what had happened. The sepoys found the Muslim
and brought him to the sadhu, saying, “Maharaj, give the order and we will
finish off this ruffian.”
With their weapons at the ready, the sepoys awaited his command. The old
monk was losing blood in unstinted flow, and his life had almost ebbed away.
Smiling a little, he said to the sepoys, “Do not cherish hatred toward this
person. He too is my God. He is the Beloved. Everyone is my Lord, everyone is
the Beloved.” Saying so, the sadhu expired. The assembled soldiers were
dumbfounded to see such love and adherence to God. They performed
the sadhu’s obsequies and went on their way.

Swamiji told this story with such feeling and pathos that all were much
moved. What love, and seeing of the ishta in all, on the part of the monk! –
Swamiji made everyone understand this. He told the story with such sweet
devotion that the audience seemed to be seeing the series of events being
enacted before their very eyes. The listeners, being Christians, remembered the
crucifixion and heard this account with great feeling. Though it was only an
incident, Swamji’s method of describing it with much facial expression and
vocal inflection made it dramatically real to them.

APPENDIX

About the arrangement of subjects in this book.

Although Swami Vivekananda at the time of Bhakti lectures spoke

consistently about devotion and at the Advaita lectures only about monism, I
[the author] have put different things in different places to give interest to the
reader. But the daily events have been told sequentially.
Goodwin did not really want to go to America, but agreed to Swamiji’s wish.
He clearly said he did not have the fare. That day Swamiji had some pounds
with him; he took them from his pocket and gave them to Goodwin, telling him
to look after Swami Saradananda in every way. A newcomer in a foreign land,
he was to be protected from difficulties. And he gave him many words of
advice and told him whom to get in touch with. Goodwin agreed and bowed to
the occasion.
Fox wanted to go to Paris to see the city and was not acquainted with anyone
there. So he requested of Miss Muller a letter of introduction. She knew French
and wrote such a letter. Fox said that Miss Muller knew various languages and
was quite learned, but due to her age [fifties] was very waspish, and no one
could go on working with her.
The following story Swamiji told at a Raja Yoga lecture and also in the
dining room. Once in the United States an elderly lady came to him and asked
what illness her mother had. Her mother was very aged and all her hair was
white. When she sat at the dining-table she would see another old lady seated
there, looking exactly like herself. When she extended her hand, there would be
two hands, her own and that of the reflection lady. When she lay in bed she saw
the double lying there. This lady told Swamiji all about her mother. Swamiji
asked her to bring her mother there one day. When the old lady came she told it
all to Swamiji herself. Then he taught her a special way to meditate; this much
was all he told her. But the aged lady, in resorting to that method, had all her
white hair turn black again, and all her facial wrinkles disappeared. The double
that she used to see also underwent this transformation; she finally appeared
younger than her own daughter.
All the ladies at the Yoga lecture liked this story.
 “Body is a magnet; whatever is in this universe is also in the human body.
The human body, in attracting something outside, is trying to put it inside
itself.”

On his way to London, Mohendra had stopped in Colombo. There the father
of Dharmapala, Don Carolis [has Mohendra spelled it right? Of what race?] ran
a cabinet-maker’s shop, near the harbor. He was a fine man.

This concludes Swami Yogeshananda’s

English translation of relevant portions of
Londone Swami Vivekananda
by Mahendra Nath Datta