Once

Upon A
Poet's
Dream
Poetry By

Kathrine
L.
Richards
Once Upon A Poet's Dream First Edition, November 2010

Copyright © 2010 by Kathrine Richards

Cover Design by Kathrine Richards

Book Design by Kathrine Richards

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any

electronic or mechanical means including information storage
and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the
author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote
short excerpts in a review.
 For Jared and Miss Panda.
Jared you are my one true love,
always and forever I am yours.
Thank you for all you have done
for me, and letting me use your
laptop. Oh and I'm sorry for
breaking it!
Manda, you will always be my
best friend even if we don't
ever talk. I miss and love you
lots.
xoxoxoxo
 Paradise Island

Out of the rainbow

Under the sky
Through the
rain
From you
and I
Between the
middle and end
With a little luck
You'll stay my friend.
In the dream
About a
Paradise Island
Above a
hidden city
Take my hand
Among the rest
With me, you'll find the paradise
Beneath the ocean
So close your
eyes
& After you
wake
In your
thoughts first start
 I'll be there
And in your heart
That's where I'll stay
Forever and
ever
Never going
away.

Ode To My Love

Light a smile, words will strike

And time will tell, if this is right.
A promise to gather in your heart,

I'll bury inside of you and leave

my mark.
I could wait forever if I have to
Just to prove I am all for you.
When the time comes, I hope you
see:
The very best I am trying to be.
And we will ride this wave 'til it
crashes to shore
There, we will find gold and glory
like never before
And as my heart beats perfectly
to your name
I sit on this rock and patiently
wait
The thoughts of us drowns my
sorrow
I sit and believe there will be a
better tomorrow
And as the sun goes down, I
breathe calmly
Knowing...Just knowing...

You've Got Love For

Me

Half and Half

Half ready, half not.

Already in the mood, You've
already forgot...
I haven't been in the open for
so long
But I need some time
for myself.
And I haven't been so
strong
 And I know I should for that
someone else...

Half lost, half marked

All the reasons to not give
up, were shipped away far
Now placed inside a tiny
closed off maze
I strike a match and
smile in shock
I've set this stage ablaze
The answers are now
blocked...

Destruction Is So Beautiful

I can't help but wonder what gets her so

down
She's so beautiful and easy to pick out in a
crowd.
 Her smile can light up anyone's day
She barely wears it though, and I wonder if
she's okay.
"No!" She says and she holds back tears
I can see on her face, all her heartache and
fears...
I still can't help but to look up to her
Oh...Destruction can be so beautiful
She's smart too and she deserves the best
but what she's given is much too less.
Boys should be falling at her feet,
Worshiping her and the air she breathes.
She's always in her own mind
In there I think she's safe...she's just fine.
Has anyone talked to her about the world
out there?
Not many see Destruction so beautiful; not
many care...
How can someone, so perfect and nice
Have so many enemies, it's such a surprise
How can someone so innocent,
be given nothing but shit?!
I see in her the things I wish to be
She's barely even here...she doesn't believe
her mind is gone somewhere far...
She is the Destruction the world has
caused...

So beautiful you are....

 If I...

If I had one wish, one wish at

all
It would be to see my
friends and family
happy. Even if it left
me out of the circle.
If I had one chance, one
chance to make it right
I'd pass it up as soon as I
get it
Cuz when it was
right...It felt so wrong...
If I had one word, one word
to choose to speak
It would be love...Just
love
Cuz I want that for you
so badly.
If I had to give up one
possession, one for the better
It would be half of my
heart,
so I could give it to
yours so it would be whole.
If I had to watch a horrible
thing, a horrible thing to
teach me...it would be
you crying
Just so you wouldn't
feel so alone...So I could
be closer to you.

If there was a way, a way to

get to you right now
I'd take that ticket, kiss
you then leave
Only so no one would
get hurt.

The Mind in the Center of

Confusion

This injury to my heart

Puts on a heavy mark
Of where I'll be tomorrow
Not here, cuz I wanna leave, I gotta
go.

This crucial haunting on my brain

Puts on a heavy stain
Of how a liar works his play
I just can't fucking stay!

This heavy boulder on my soul

Puts me to where I'll never know
Of a place that is far, yet so close
Where I'll be missed the most.

This rain falling on my skin

 Puts something back within
Of how to believe the truth in a lie
Don't know how but I'm starting to
try...

Goodbye

It's so much better to say hello than

goodbye.
It's so much safer to quit than to try.
What obstacles lie ahead; what pain is in
store when all is quiet? Contemplating a
way to be, to be the very best of me.
Hoping a past subject will arise, and take
you over by surprise; where you'll miss
me so much and you'll want my touch.
But you know you must do, what you
think is expected of you...
So you sit in your room, waiting for
the boom, the boom of a trigger heart,
tearing you apart... And I hope you'll miss
me so much and you'll need my touch;
but you know it's your time, to come to
me and say goodbye.
Don't you know I scream in my
sleep too? Don't you know, I feel just
about the same as you? That's why it's so
much easier before you say hello, to just
turn around and go; Because I don't want
to tell you goodbye. I can't even try.
I know I'll miss you so much, I'll
yearn for your touch. And I sit in my
room, waiting for the doom...
The day we say our
sweet goodbye, you won't cry and neither
will I. I'll smile as before, see you to the
door....
Kiss you one last time
As we say goodbye.
Love:
Katie
Inspiration

Sweet embraces are just around the corner.

You take my heart, and store it like a
hoarder.
Your voice makes me tremble with pleasure
in my ears
And when you say you love me, it drowns my
darkest fears.
Your smile is imprinted behind my
eyes,
I close them and everything is
fine.
Because you're my inspiration; there is
nothing I can't do.
My inspiration; yeah that's what I think
of you.
A tear trickles down my cheek.
I swear that I am not weak...
My eyes are just dry
I promised them I wouldn't cry.
I want to say
 I love you in some other way
I suppose you already know
but I have to make sure we grow...
Cuz you're my inspiration;
what I live for everyday...
My inspiration; this feeling
must stay...

The warmth of your body

Pressed tightly against me
I look forward to it every night
You are my shining light

and
My
Inspiration.
 Forever and A Day
This winding road can never
phase us
Insecurities will never erase us
I finally know where my heart
belongs:
With you; with all of our
blossoming
love
I finally know what
unconditional
means
and you build my spirits up, my
sweet
release.
With nothing holding me back
at all
In your arms, I must fall.
And my dreams are coming to
reality
now
Everything you do breaks my
frown.
And I hope you trust all I say,
Because I love you; forever and
a day.

No More

No more words or dots that

glow in the dark. No more
clutter, just boxes filled with
ambition to fit in a bag. No more
meaningless papers or empty
cigarette boxes on the floor.
Just perfect emptiness, a girl
sitting on the floor with a
garbage bag at her feet, c.d's to
her right, music playing
in the background, and a
cigarette in her hand. She can't
wait to be free of this place.

No more yelling or screaming

over nothing. No more
 drama, unhappiness, just fun to
substitute it all. No more
fighting over nothing that was
said or lies spilling out of each
others lips. Just perfect
combinations of the sun and
hurricanes.
A girl tired of it all, a girl getting
ready to leave for her new
destination.

When

When can I be in your loving arms

As you hold me up to touch
the stars
Holding me tight and very close
Making it seem, my body
froze.

When can I kiss your loving lips

I'd trace them with my soft
fingertips
Looking into your eyes as you spill
some words,
 Knowing that it's only me in
your world.

When do I get to stare in your eyes

Holding me entranced, killing
all lies.
Knowing it's only me on your mind
I am yours, and you are mine.

And when do I get to whisper in

your ear,
All my love, promising to
drown your fear
Making sweet promises, whispering
I love you
Knowing and believing...You
love me too.

xoxoxo

Him
All my life
I've dreamed of him
Thought of him
Wanted him
Needed him
Yearned for him
Yet...
I notice as the days grow older
 We're not meant for each
other
We're not ready
We're not happy
We're not where we belong
We're not in love.

But if we're not, why......

Why are we still together, why?
Are we that scared to be alone,
That we'd rather be miserable, I
dunno
Should we just be
friends?

This
Makes
No
Se
nse....

Mis

Misplaced my time, you can't say I didn't try

You can't say I didn't do anything when I was doing
everything

Mistrusted you. You can't tell me what to do.

You can't tell me I can't cry, When you've broken
me apart inside
So tell me now, I'll breathe
somehow.

Misdirected my place, You can't say what I didn't

face
You can't say I didn't do my best, when you were
always at rest.
 Mistreated my mind, you can't say I'm not fine.
You can't say I didn't hold your hand when you
didn't have a friend.
So tell me it's okay, and you
break away.

Disbelieved in me, You can't say I didn't see.

You can't say I didn't help myself, when you can't
help yourself.

Misfiled my soul, you can't say I didn't know.

You can't tell me I'm a fake, when you are nothing
great...
So tell me wrong from right, I'll
put up a fight.

Miss fucked up in the head, You'll never guess

what I read
You can't know what I do, When you can never be
true.

Miss hallelujah gone wrong, you never had a

feeling so strong
You've never felt this way in years. When were you
last put to tears?
So tell me about your life,
You can't say I didn't try.

Bought

Buy yourself a one way ticket.

Tell them all to go play in traffic.
Buy yourself a peaceful day
Figure out what you should say.
And go all out to be happy
Just get up and leave.
 Buy yourself a New York Taxi
Tell them all, “Get away from me!”
Buy yourself a new attitude
With a top hat and a gun just to suite you.
And go all out to look okay
Boy you better watch what you say.

Buy yourself a happy heart

Tell them all to break apart
Buy yourself a little while
Just to fix that heartless smile
And you sit and you wait
For the next to call you fake...

Avernus

Tied up in knots and the battle is not over

The battle called: Avernus
The drums are pounding on
and on
There's a loud noise; Screaming fills the
air. It's
 My heart wanting to break away from your
wrath.

Avernus isn't over. It’s getting closer while

amidst
An awkward
silence.
Covered in holes...
Covered in lies...
No way to fix this ever! Even if
someone was screaming, “SORRY!!!”

Avernus won't be over soon. It's going into

half-time
Going faster than
ever!
And it causes all your tears...The
monster
is growling...The ground is
shrieking...
And still you have blood spill!!!

Avernus won't ever stop. Your body

becomes oh so
Fragile.
While your mind falls apart...
Your soul wanders off...
It's covered in fire..
Covered in your deepest shame...
Startle

Hole in the floor, it wasn't there

before
I fell in and I am slippin'. Curled up
in a ball
The same place you let me fall.
Startled and incapable to re-close
 this hole.
Belief in the rest, put it to the
test.
Hope to re-size the stone, the very
same one you had thrown
To startle me....
and I am unaware, how to care.
Feelings drift inside, take them and
keep them blind.
Infected with your scars bothers me
so, I can't help it though...
and I keep attached to this infection,
startling all complications.
So full of decision,
No one's given me a reason,
To trust this at all, to trust this
fall. In my heart
I know the truth but my mind doesn't
know the use.
No idea how to recuperate, no way am I
calling this great.
Totally uncalled for, this hole in the
floor. To startle me soft, you've
given this a lot of thought. There's
no way around
The startling ground. Strangeness in
my mind. No way to feel inside.
Prove to be, all you see. All you want
to have, all you can stand to give
back..
So think again, when you hold a hand
The startling in store
Like this hole in the floor...

This Angel's Bringing You

Home

I wonder why things come better in

twos
What is, the greater use?

I hold my wings under your wound

Hoping I can heal you soon...

My feathers brush against your

chest
As I feel you take a deep breath.

How does the air feel in your lungs?

Does it circle back, just because?

My tears crash through, your

blazing fire
Noticing, now, your true desire...

Fear breaks through and I turn away

But then I hear your voice, you
painfully say:

"Please don't leave me here all

alone,
"I need you to help me get on
home!"

What Does It Mean?

I need to get my mind straight.
I look around hoping this isn't my fate.
I swear that I see a million times
clearer when I close my eyes,
And when the shock fades, I fear these
times.

I stretch my lips and make a smile.

Your actions have turned so petty and
vile,
I turn my cheek but now I stand trial.
I hear someone say, "Sh now lady, it's
okay to smile."

More About You Than Me

Incredible night, alone to fright

 haven't felt so alive, whats missing this
time?
Confused and fucked in the head,
don't wanna fall into bed
Heartless war cries....what happened
last night?
Feeling so careless, and getting an
overreaction in this..
natural cause and emotional static
crazaction...
i know what is good for me and i
know how to be happy
i know where to go from here, i can tell
my conscious is clear
all i wanna know is if you can make
it....or if you're still feeling like shit...

Because I am Better than You

 Your world cannot compete with mine

For it is confusing; filled with silly

fractions to make you go blind

Your eyes cannot see what mine do now

For they move swiftly; containing only

microchips and chaos pinpointing all
about.

Your mind cannot keep up with my

hamster

For it spins smooth and quick; losing

yours behind in a race as you search for
the answer.
 I'll Make My Own Beat

I'll pick and choose

Pretend to use
Stand up and fight
Protect what's right
and you can walk away
Not listen to what I have to say.
But shut up for now
One day we'll make it somehow.

I'll bend the strands

Break your closed hands
Leave a message at the door
Won't come back for much more.
Move on a fast beat
Fall in my room to retreat
Put it on the open wounds
Feel the sting and smell the fumes.

I won't be pushed into darkness

I won't be the cause of this.
I won't let you call me a liar
I won't let you make me lick the fire.
I won't say you are to blame
I won't say you never came.
But back off bitch before I blow
There are things they still don't know..
 Hands

Calm & serenity, A kiss just for me

Head on a shoulder, no longer a boulder
And in my mind; It's alright...
Hand in another, nothing is stronger.

Peace & happiness, I can't forget that

kiss
Smiles at each other, Nothing's a bother.
And my feelings; I am now believing...
Hands touching skin, & it's coming in.

Smiles & laughter, I will do after

He looks in my eyes, no longer bleeding
cries
And these sparks in the night,
Frightens the
Fright
Hands caressing breasts, it was done the
best..

Closing the curtain, of the scene called

'Uncertain'
Now it's just truth & time, nothing will
cause a
Lie
And my hormones are racing, he is the
best
Thing
Especially with his hands inside me
& he is
penetrating...

Not Coming Back

Why does everything seem in slow

motion?
Why did you tell me to drown in the
ocean?
Burn my pride
And take my eyes
So you can laugh
I'm never coming back

Why does it seem the days get longer?

Why did you think you were
stronger?
Burn my love
And I give up
So you can laugh behind
your hand
I'm not coming back
again.

Why does your soul swallow me?

Why did you always get angry?
Burn my face
And I rip this place
 So you can be amazed by
me
I'm not coming back
when I leave...

What' s Done Is Done

I can't go back
I can't change that
I wish away the pain
Against the falling rain.
I fight away the hate
And push open the gate.
Signs, they fall all around
I can't lift myself off the ground.
I try to make you understand
I try to hold us in my hand
What's done is done, I am full of
shame
I've forgotten, and I'm to blame.
I see what I can't hear.
I push away the dreadful fear
And I walk against the tide
As I'm thrown from side to side.
I must move on, but chains hold
me here
I reach across and try to touch
you dear
All I can do now is wish
I can't seem to let go of this...
And I want and I know
This feeling doesn't cease to
grow
My love for you has grown more
 But you've already walked out
the door
Will my heart stop flipping out
As my brain shows me doubt.
I wish to become so very free
But the tide has drowned me...

Tomorrow's A New Day

Hold it in tune, I swear I got you; open

these walls
Hear their bleeding calls. I fall in
this line
Just gotta give it time. I beat my
drum
Sing then hum. I drove this shit
and in
just a little bit, you'll see I'm on
top. Gave it
all I got. Tore through the stone,
you wanted
me home, so I packed back up
held my luck
All this time, you wanted what's
mine.

Hold my place, I swear in your face,

open this bottle
push full throttle. & you weren't
right
to admit my fright. But I held it
deep in the
places I keep, locked away,
tomorrow's
a new day. Close your eyes, now
realize
That I'm on top, I gave it all I got.
Tore
open your letter, felt it all get
better.
You got your wish, was it better
than this?
Now be on your way, tomorrow's
a new day.

Push away. Cry the next day. You froze

my feelings, started the killings. I took
my time. Put in a little rhyme. I swear
my love, I won't give up. Are you
confused yet? Just wait a little bit...

Don't worry, I'll leave in a hurry.

Forget the tears, wipe away the fears.
Don't discourage, we'll treat it like a
miscarriage.
We'll start again, fresh as friends.
Don't worry I'll be back in a hurry.
Well, not right away, because tomorrow's a
new day.

On This Floor, My Life Is

Wasted.

My life is wasted.
I cannot pretend any longer.
I can't seem to fight this wave,
As it crashes over my soul
I am stretched across this floor.

Gasping for air.

I won't be like her.
I won't try to be brave.
Because that's all I've done and I'm in a hole
I am wasting away on this floor.

Your words are nothing

They seem to mellow out the sin
But they cause me pain.
And all I do is sit, wait, and breathe.
I am waiting for you on this floor.

My life is wasted.
You touch a spot that lives dormant.
I cry out to make you stop the rain.
When I do the wind carries the sound away

[-{and I am left dying on this

floor}-]
 Don't Forget

You kinda went solid as he slid those white

gloves over your lips. You looked the other way and
the consequences hit. Brought out of your daydream
of a house filled with laughter and your cigarette is
burning at the filter. I hope you brought that love on
that stupid string. You pull it softly and you start to
scream.
Don't forget your trust at the door. Don't
forget, you're frozen at the core. Don't bring your hate
around here. (Don't bring your hate around here.)
You kinda made it far enough to go outside into
the world. But you looked the wrong way and went
flying to the curb. Stenciling images in your brain that
make you feel at home. Your blank expression left
over; I think we'll leave you alone. I hope you brought
your gun to protect yourself, pull your hair and you're
scared to scream out.
Don't forget your trust at the door. Don't
forget, you can't ask for more. Don't bring your lust
around here. (Don't bring your lust around here.)
I kinda went limp when I confronted you, I
asked myself, “Honey what did you do?” I brought this
upon myself, this I know. Watching that cigarette burn
that fiery red glow. I hope I brought my love on that
stupid fucking string. You can pull it and I'll start to
scream.
 I forgot my trust at that door. I forgot to
knock as I had told myself before. I brought this
hatred to you..
Did you bring it back around too?

From Ass Hole to Guilt

Sketched out like a painting by Picasso

Perfectly screwed up, yet so great.

Reminds me of a time, long ago

When our lives weren't at stake.

Your face is so perfectly aligned
Yet your brain is jagged like a rock.
 And you pray for the right time

To make your move, just to block.

In the blink of an eye, all is betrayed.
And your motto is now set to kill

And you let me down, I am now decayed.

A priceless substitute for what you

have at your will.
You might come to your senses some day
While lying on your death bed,

Dying at a very young age.

And the guilt is finally in your head.

And with the last breath you take

The last words you speak,

You break down, you're so pathetically fake...

 You Kiss
Me...

And
say...

You're sorry.

Facade

I am not what I was

You breathe steadily
but pretend you are having an asthma attack.
I laugh at your persistent fake
concern.
You think you can save me,
Yet your words fly away.
 They are like the stars at night,
Pretty, but don't really have a
meaning.

You should have listened to my cries

and what I needed in the first place.
You think you're so
great...
If you do care
Why
Do you
Ignore the
fact

That you
Tore me

Apart....???....

Dreams

I hope I haunt you in your sleep.

I hope you're always thinking of me.
I hope you dream of me tonight
To where your thoughts won't subside.
I hope I kill you in your dreams
I hope you never dream of different
things.
I hope I'm always on your
mind
To the point you toss and turn at
night.
 I hope I bring suffering to your heart.
I hope you try to tear your mind apart
I hope I fill your dreams with fright
To where you're scared of the night.
I hope I leave you in your dream
I hope you begin to miss me.
I hope I bring tears to your
eyes
To frighten you until you scream
and cry.
I hope I punch you in a dream gone wild
I hope you never again smile
I hope I make you scream tonight
So your voice goes harsh and your
eyes go blind.
I hope you suffer when I
haunt you
I hope you go so crazy you hurt
yourself too

I hope the pain you brought

upon me
Burns you...

And makes you

bleed.

Inside My Mind...Words I
Never Knew Existed
 Steal away a moment of faith and chew it out of
taste.
A special dose of laughter, is ceased to be after
A moment of madness, breaks the sadness
and fears the pain, drives it away
Filing faeries in disguise, telling all beautiful lies.
A past foretelling, a name is calling
A year is slowly passing by, since that dreadful night.
Keeping up to date patterns, hiding out
in caverns.
Alone and used, self abused
Awake and feared, downing
beer
High on time, committing crimes.
Going crazy, calling out. Self indulged, stopping
now!
Help the free flow, go down slow.
Let it out fast instead, blood rush to your head.
Tears on the ground, dripping sound.
Squeaking noise, do I have a choice
To bring them closer to me, what am I
saying?
There's nothing left
'Cept these tears on my breath.

So Deep

So deep inside, I don't know

why, There's a face of you, stapled
to, a hole that cannot be closed.
So deep in thought, and this I
bought, a lie or two, just for you,
held in my hand, held back as far as
it can. Words you spoke, my body
broke.
So deep in time, I can't subside,
the feeling that you're here, the
feeling that you're getting near, my
heart sinks down, and my body hits
the ground.
So deep in me, I refuse to
believe, this has happened if it just
quickened, and now your here, I am
gone in fear; in disbelief there is
relief.
So deep to get out, I can't move
around, I can't get out of this place,
and deep inside your face remains,
haunting me, so ever cleverly.
So deep in dreams, your
memory I try to squeeze, out from
my brain, you drive me insane, And
in my dreams I see you and in my
dreams I kill you.
So deep inside I don't know why
you bother me like you do...

The Sky vs. The Clouds

The sky is like a diamond
Always forever
While the cloud is like dirty speck
A mess you have to clean up.

The sky is like an arm

Stretching open for all.
While a cloud is like a big brother
That just gets in the way.

The sky is like the ocean

The wind being its wave
And the cloud is just a vessel
That destroys all the prettiness...

Never Be The Same

Those lyrics are confusing
We are already using
A pocketful of posies
Shoulda told you that I froze these...

Now look at what we've done

We are not just anyone...
Now look at what we've made
I will never be the same...

I ripped the papers to little bits

Thrown them around with all my fits
And you're still here
and you still care...

Now look at what we've done

We are better than everyone...
Now look at what we've made
I'll never forget the day that you came...

and told me that you loved me

Yeah you told me that you loved me
And you held me tight with your voice
I would never leave if given the choice...

We ride this Ferris Wheel of love

I always knew this would become
The thing that would make me smile
Even if it takes just a while

Now tell me that you love me

Make this whole world see
And I'll tell you that I love you
Make this world feel like I do

Now look at what we've done

This is a new kind of love
and look at what we made
I will never be the same...

Roller Coaster

I should stop smoking,

You look both ways before crossing the
street
 Hold on while I stop traffic and old open the
door for you.
Excuse me for a moment
While I light this fire with my
Finger, and hopefully
You will see:
How funny this picture is with you
Looking all around to make this through
I should make this picture better by leaving
you out
So don't get this past the emotions and don't
leave it
Behind
And make this roller coaster fall
A highful doubt and put the pieces together
Or at least claim you did but do you mind
If I take a second to rethink what
You got yourself into and how will you
Take it and bring me into it?
Why do you run?
Will you leave me out of
EVERYTHING
You did to you?
Tell the truth
until
You're blinded by the Sun.
Petunia
Her Words are growing,
Each day I am knowing
There's no escaping her
voice
And I don't have a choice.
I get scared of someone
scaring me,
But it's only her
screams...haunting...so
clearly...

And I love her with a roses

thorn
Sometimes I believe, she
dreads I was born
She loves me in a
beautiful dream
Where petunia's grow by a
clear running stream.
And happiness lives not
too far away
In reality, that is not her
game.

Fright echoes around my

soul
I kiss it goodnight, all on
my own.
I just want her to love me
too,
The way that every child
receives in bloom.
All I ask is why oh why,
Does she not care when I
cry?
They say all this is not
true, maybe I'm paranoid.
But her actions send out a
void...

And I love her with a roses

thorn
Sometimes I believe, she
dreads I was born
She loves me in a
beautiful dream
Where petunia's grow by a
clear running stream.
And happiness lives not
too far away
In reality, that is not her
game.
So I take my own hand,
ask to one day
understand.
Pretend I believe, So I can
just breathe.
I take my steps, I start to
relax...
One day I won't have to
fight, for what is rightfully
mine...

Let

Let the light of day blind my thoughts of you

Let the roaring sound of the ocean, drown my

love for you

Let the music you hear daily, mute your

heavenly smile

Let the wind just blow away all that was said &
kept on file

Let the pencil erase everything & all I've

sacrificed

Let the moon reflect off all the memories & times
I cried

Let the morning shower was away all the time

we spent together
Let this contract sign away when I thought we'd
last forever

Let the clock tick away the key you hold to my

heart

Let the seeing eye look away from when we

promised to never part

Let the spirit haunt away the song we wrote

Let the cat claw through the lovely things we

spoke.

Let the wheel roll over the memory when you

first caught my eye

Let this book read off...How I'm caught in a bind...

Scream

But you're NOT!

Cool tempered
No longer afraid
I know how it is, but I don't
Know how you feel
No longer healing
I see inside
Tormented for so long
Trying so hard. Moments pass...
You are not
alone.
SO SCREAM!
And forget your smile
 SCREAM!
And forget to breathe......the day you wind up
shattered & broken,
I'll hold you in my arms.
Find out how it goes
the hard way
Your mind is feeding on it
You try
To hide
Your broken little bones.
You know you can't just hold on a little longer.
SO SCREAM!
And forget your past. SCREAM!
And forget to breathe.

The day you wind up dead...

I'll scream in response for

you.

Sweet Breezes

Sweet breezes will conquer our

hearts
Lift us up and carry us far.
We will run with the moon, hoping
for new starts.

Bodies will embrace like this

Lean in close, then grab my
hip.
I will pull you closer now, stealing
a blissful kiss

Words will be said, anger will

spark
Hearts will clash not letting
us part.
Leaving bruises that never make
a mark.

Broken pieces will be swept away

Ears hearing a song they
sang
“Together we will take this day by
day.”

And only time can tell what will

be
But we know from that sweet
breeze
That I love you, and you love me.

Yet I'm Here

Crash testing my car tonight

 Yet I'm here to save a life
And turn what's wrong into right
But in my hand there is a knife
And she's broken again.

Pounding my fists on the wall

Yet I'm here to help her not fall
And answer to her screaming call
But in my mind, there's nothing at
all
And she's losing again.

Hunting for the stalker in dreams

Yet I'm here to make it all go at the
seams
And make her feel safe outside her
screams
But in my soul, there's just too
many things
And I can't make her
whole again.

Crash tested my car last night

I've taken another life.
And I've tried to control it with all
my might
But I was tired of having to strife
And she's dying again...

Just Deal With It

Facial expressions that turn cold at the
door
As she walks in with a bright smile on
No one cares for this young maidens
heart
As they carry to more "important"
discussions
She is forced to sit in a corner
With a light smile still on her face, she
watches as a tornado comes through
What a sight this is for someone who has
never been through a hit like this
And among the rest of the destruction,
she is lifted into the air
Laughing about how fun it should be
Crying about no one noticing
One turns their head and the others run
off
Two are still holding hands
As the others yell for them to let go or
else the tornado will catch them
They run away in chorus laughter yelling
back for them to all "FUCK OFF"
The tornado gets closer and the girl is still
whirling around
The lovers seek shelter in a cons cabin

He seeks for her hand in marriage

The tornado is near the cabin
And the girl is watching it all with despair
She closes her eyes and gives up for the
night
A smile still planted on her face...
and she knows

She just has to deal with it..

Leaving You Out Of The Circle

Trips taken to great highs
You pass the bowl
I pass the joint
Keep in mind you can't hold it in for all eternity.

So believe and try to organize your thoughts

You pass your soul
I pass my brain
Keep in mind yours isn't in proper use.

Fortune fades, an hour goes by

How many times are you going to try?
Pass the bowl and we can get stoned
I pass you by and don't even throw you a glance...

Tortured...Broken...You're not reliable

And here I am with a smile on my face
Mocking your mere existence
I pass the bowl, you're no longer in the circle...

And here's a newborn, appearing out of nowhere

Here lies a road to take
You pass the joint and I light you a cigarette
You scream with pain, I laugh with intensity.

All you have said is nothing but a lie

You pass the bowl and let's get high
You control the speed
I'll control the stops.

And all I need now is an answer

Where did you go
why did you leave?

And we pass the weed the bowl the lighter

and to forget about it all

And I leave you out of the circle

Silent

I'm baling, hoping for the past.

Not really
But I'm choking into depths of you. Wouldn't it be
okay, to say, that I'm over it? But when I dream, I'd
like to think you'd be there...
Just pop in a movie after Craig, close my eyes and
wake up to a blue screen, from a great dream, that
I later won't remember...

Somehow I want it back but I know...You're happy

now...
{Just pop into silence}

I'm smiling, laughing at mistakes.

Not kidding.
But I'm joking on the lame. Wouldn't it be okay, if I
say, that I'm so over that day? But when I fall
asleep, I'd like to wake up to you there.

Just pop in a comedy so I'll smile. Close my eyes,

wake up to yelling, from a great dream, that I later
will be telling.

Somehow I want it back but I know...You're happy

now...
{Just pop into silence}

And sometimes
I Want to laugh
but smiles don't come, when your mother gets
silent.
I laugh until I feel numb
I choke back
When I notice you're not around!

(-{We get so silent}-)

Somehow I want it back but I know...You're happy

now...
 {Just pop into silence}

Sometimes, I just let go...

and sometimes I finally move on...

{But we still get silent}

Something Different

It turns and it shakes

I learn and it quakes
I'm alive not dead
and I have not said
I'm happy in a while
Today's the day I smile.
You changed my outlook on life
I cried but now I just might
Follow this new beat,
Bliss I am going to meet
With roses in each hand
I am taking a stand
I will not back down
I will not frown
I will not fall
I will not stall
Cuz I got something new to give
I'm 19 and I have yet to live.
and I'm climbing to the top
I can't and won't stop.
Nothing comes easy
My breathing might become wheezy
but I will not break
Lives are at steak
No more worries about failing
Because from now on, my luck is sailing.

About Beauty

Outside Beauty comes and goes, but your

inner strength and personality stays like a
tattoo.

When one realizes that beauty doesn't

mean color or perfection, one can see the
beauty

In the laughter they bring, the hearts

they build, and the one's they touch.

When that is achieved, all else seems a

lie
But then you feel great and beautiful,
even on the
outside...

A Bit of Truth

Everyone has ups and downs, but it's not

about that.

It's about how you wish to go through and

get over it.
It's never about fighting, because
everyone fights. Yet everyone finds their
own way over it and to look past it.

When people look high and low, they

often miss what's in between, and that's
what matters most.
If we don't get along or understand one
another, enemies form.
But why not look past it all and be
friends? The world has too many enemies
and not enough friends...

Just remember, the more we get over, the

more we have built, and the higher and
closer we get to our goals. It's never
easy, but maybe we can just try.

Bombs

We are fool proof,

Bombs blow up around us
We hold onto each other tightly
Cuz we are all we have to trust.

The hope keeps us going

Even if all else seems lost
They try to tear us apart
And for that they'll pay a heavily cost.
In reality we are so far
But nothing will keep me from you
And one day we will stand face to face
On my word I stand true.

I picture a hug
A kiss or three on the lips
I look into your eyes
And see only bliss.

My arms around your neck

We float into the sky
We have something better than the rest
Not even weed could get us this high.

I feel your arms around my waist

"Hold me tighter," I'd tell you quietly.
We'd be frozen in time
And smiling ever so brightly.

But or now we have to wait

As bombs blow up around us
And the others become more jealous.
We know, it's only you and me we have to trust.

I Can't See This

I wouldn't expect your acknowledgment towards

this unknown fact;
To share in me my world with you, so scared yet
surprised I'm still intact;
I hear your voice and my heart starts pounding
with a smile;
To believe in some altered force and that you
were always worth my while.
I try to let go but you keep returning, roses in
each hand;
To think I almost obliterated the time I felt so
comfortable with a man...
I confess I'm no good, that you deserve more
than what I can offer;
You've heard enough; deep in my heart I know
you crave no other.
You leave me alone with no goodbye; no
footsteps to track which way you went.
My depression grows deeper and I try my hardest
to make these feelings unbend...
and I hold my hand close to the screen, trying
not to worry
No other man can do what you do to my feelings,
not even in a hurry.
Your voice rises through and lifts me up inside
Strangling hurt and pain as if they are going to
die...
When you leave they creep back to haunt my
dear soul;
You come back and their shadows play tricks
swiftly dealing a single blow;
I cross my arms across my chest holding onto
what you say
Giving me some support on another heart
breaking day
Don't get mad at my words from last night, my
dear love
For I know they are true though my mind is
corrupt.
I stay on this partial line that sways and beaks
apart
At the end I hear the beating of my heart
It's screaming your name, one syllable after
another;
Echoing your voice, hoping it's not a blunder...
I see your name written on the walls of my hope
and love
Lust sees it too and even all the words above...
I wonder why you're staying so close to me and
all my weakness
I try to see it, I'm trying I'm trying...I can't see
this...
 Locked Away

Couldn't believe what the style was

Turn the car around and start a fuss
Criss cross your words and play pretend
Should have screamed then let go to
comprehend
I see all that you stood for
but what was it good for?
Should have gotten high and tossed the
bowl
Corrupted your mask, give it a good
throw.
I would've laughed to myself seeing you
try;
Silence stricken, torturing your mind.
I wonder if you got that call from that
lady
You turn to me and call me crazy
Figuring you out is like a maze
Turning in your seat, you're locked in my
cage;
I ate the key, I'm sorry fucker.
You stroke the dial and try to block her.
I trust you won't forget this time
I got my friend, it's a '45.
You're not gonna get the best of me,
remember I got you locked away...
 If It's True

The tears keep coming as I

think of your face. The way
I'm being is such a
disgrace. I know I shouldn't
be crying, Because no one
is lying.
Your voice covers me
whole, surrounding my
soul. I love the sounds of
your body, I want you
completely.
Oh...the way you speak,
makes it so hard to
breathe. I get so paranoid
there won't even be a you
and me...But the more I
think about it, the more I
hear we will be...

If it's true brush my

tears away
If it's true
let me live today
If it's true let me
know
If it's true don't
you dare let me go...

Muscle Relaxer

Eyes twitch.

It burns to see this sight.

Your hand runs through your hair..

And you pretend not to care...

Ears swell.
It is too loud in this room.

You run to the staircase but you can’t go

up.

You must face what you can’t trust.

Muscles tense.

A fist to the wall.

Holes form one by one...

And you reach for the gun...

Never Enough
Time circles around my head
I wonder if by morning, will I be dead?
I keep my head up until my neck aches

I keep my distance until something

breaks.
I can't help but wonder what is wrong
with me
With his laugh in my ear I just wanna
scream.
Only time can tell if it will stay this
rough
But it always seems, I am never
enough.

I fight with all my power to be alright

I fight oh...do I fuckin' fight.
Without a pat on the back here I go
through this alone
Battling my demons that leak through
his phone.
Without a second to waste
It's time I make haste
But only time can tell if I have been
bluffed
No matter what I do, it's never enough..

Unknown Sightings of What

Would’ve Been If Not For He.

Staring at these headlights as a cracking

noise comes over me
I look through my closed eyes and
pretend to breathe.
Staring down those people running after
my fallen frame
I look at the scene from high above and I
hear a bang.
His hand fell through me
His eyes were calling
And I fell to the ground once more
Shaking as the car honked it's horn.

Staring down an hour glass, freezing in

the rain
I look as a wire falls, I scream in pain
Staring at hopeless feet getting hurt
I look and someone had to blurt.
That his hands fell through me
And his eyes were calling.
I jumped out to the side
Shaking and wet, he saved my life.

Silver Lining

I pretend to step aside,

and ignore the words you say bout me.
I pretend to fly,
and ignore the ground touching my feet.
I surrender my thought, of a hopeless girl.
I hope you fought, when lost was the
word.
I was promised a swollen lip, but got a
broken heart.
I trigger a flip kick, but fell apart.
I saw you cry, and placed my hand on
your shoulder.
I swear I tried, and it all got colder.
Now I sit contemplating if I should go
back. Wondering if I need to stay me,
and how you'd react.
So I sit and wait.
Maybe the answer will come to me.
Hi! My name is Kate.
Forget it...
stupid silver lining

Untitled
While smiles fade and turn to nothing
You hold deep inside something
That I had been looking for
and with one kick it was out the door...

Meanwhile I go back in time

 When nothing was ever mine
Oh how stupid I once was
And this is who I am. This is all for us.

As your smile fades into a stone

Know that you are never alone
And even though we do not speak
Deep in my heart you I will keep.

Down my face a tear runs for you

More come before the day is through
And though I hold my Head up high
I want to let go and not try.

And as I hear your voice come through my speakers

I wonder if they actually hit my ears
The sound is so beautiful
As the band plays on I am so grateful

And I know this one simple fact

Watch as the curtain fades to black
Because the blackness is only waiting for the light
That you have to try so hard to find

And watch when it fades there is something you wont

see
Happiness waiting for you to be
There is always at least one thing right
You just have to search and find....

Never forget that I love you so

Never ending forever it will grow
And know this one secret I will share
Where you find happiness...I will be there...

So That's What It's Like To

Smile

Kudos to you
 Thrusting your way through
Turning it all blind
Being all kind
I trust the system
But they couldn't get 'em
I saw the looks
And I read the books
Someone once told me
For me to see
I have to believe
I need to retrieve
What was stolen from me
Innocents and being happy.
But you say hello
Making the pain go
You smile my way
Then everything's okay.
I promise my dear
I'll drown your fear
And I'll keep saying hello,
Never goodbye, For I won't go
And I'll smile your way
In hopes I made your day.

Overdose

Blink. You wait for anything to happen.

 Why would I believe, that you won't
screw it up this time?
Think. You've been here before me; You
question. LIE!
I could breathe, and you decided to
screw it up this time.
(I could catch you, but you
can't catch this)
Now. You perfect in all of your skills.
Blending and
You cover up your past I can see you
failing AGAIN!
How is this about love? My thrills,
sending...A
Perfect shock too fast. I can you falling
my friend!

Control. Aspirin.
Overdose. I could resurrect you but you
don't want that.
Harsh. Words. Thrown. I
could take it back but you won't
understand.

Overdose again and choke on your spit!

 Twelve

How much satisfaction is guaranteed

Built together with a twelve digit calling
number
and a string of cheese.
Seeing the gold turn into liquid
and the smoke turn into
spiders
Watching the cigarettes burn into
the darkness
While everyone's asleep killing their
sugar plums.

How much happiness will you sacrifice?

Strung apart with a monkey in the middle
and we roll the dice.
Seeing the eyes turn into clouds
and the faces look like
elves.
Watching as the clock grows into
the night
Facing the digits grouping of twelve.

And you wait

And you notice
 And you see
And you know this
Ain't right
But you laugh
Yeah you laugh

And you laugh

You laugh...
I called you to say...
FUCK YOU
 Something Else

Your eyes meet with the desire of the endless

burn
of the justification of the intensity you yearn.
For the love of defeat of the reasons you're here
all that has been said hasn't been left clear.
You thrust and push and decrease your smile
and all you've known has left for awhile
and the Devil comes out to play
taking over the words you say.
As you open your eyes to a full extent
there is nothing here to keep you content
You thrash kick and scream
but nothing here is sure to deem.
All you know is Satan is here
No longer scared, but feeling sincere.
And curled up in the smallest ball
You feel yourself hit the wall.
Dead end
My friend.
Who will show you that you care
And here's the Hell that's always been there.
And instead of hating it you take it for what it's
worth.
Make the best of every little word.
And crouched into the darkness
You are reading this
The words of the Devil

Calling you forth...

 Drown In Your Beer.

Cigarette smoke all around me

Caressing subjects of a heart that's falling
Hold my breath and break down a
wall
A baby's laugh breaks the fall.

The smell of incense fill the room

Innocent smiles of how to get back at
you.
Raise my fists and form a hole
Making it hard for you to swallow.

A candle's flame trying to reach the

ceiling
A knife near a wrist to shake this feeling
I hope, I pray, to whoever will hear,
To see you in pain; to see you drown in
your beer.
Beg What You Wanted
Beg my life,
I'm alright
In the end
This hole will mend
And bend my life
To see inside
All you'll see is darkness
Is this what you wanted?

Beg my heart
I will start
Bringing in
The whole damn feelin'
And bend my heart
To hear a thought
You won't believe it
Is this what you wanted...What you
wanted?!

Hate my life
I'm just fine
In the past
I knew it wouldn't last.
And trade my life
For one alike
All you get
Is that what you wanted?!
 Hate my heart
I will depart
Bringing out
All helpless doubt!
And trade my heart
Place a mark
On all you forget
Is that what you wanted?

Hate my soul
We will follow
What we knew
What happened to you?
Just trade my soul
Create to destruct all you know
and all it killed...
Is that what you fucking wanted?!
Confuse

Uneven piercings. Smiles flown left

and right. Laughing with happiness on
the mind, but pain on the soul. Nothing to
show for. No reason to care...Except a
face that lingers in the walls of an empty
space. Crowded behind a broken down
faith; he says hope is just nothingness.
He stares with those piercing eyes....she
knows there's nothing here to gain,
nothing here to lose. Realization of the
past and the present, longing to feel
for...No more feeling for...and the cries
are loud...longing to feel for...No more to
feel for...lost in the abyss of rage long to
see something more, nothing to see
now...Corruption and the aftermath
watching destruction at it's best. she says
there's no more to hope for, nothing to
show for...
Longing
to feel
{SOMETHING}
for this...
subject...no...
won't happen...
so hold onto the switch of 'life or death'
and justify your actions and dream on...

Dream on and forget

cry
touch
scream
feel
the nothing caving in
long to feel
still nothing
all that's left is a confused mind and
nothingness
she says I will be there
she hugs...
Not knowing what to expect...
give it up...
he thinks nothing that she feels...

Or Maybe...
 Untitled 2

Test these waters for safety

If the boat floats, then just
maybe
Life will be easy like in the old
days
When we were children and
could seek through a maze
The table turns to a plate
broken in two
It tells a lie buried beneath
the truth
Twisted images fly at us all at
once, you know
In this day and age we've no
where to go
Mark these walls of notice of
your existence
If they seek to know, they'll
promise this:
“One day you will make it
happily my friend
I'll give light and strength
until the end...”

Heartless

You smile that heartless smile

and then

you flash those eyes...with those confusing

heartache similes

and you forget

that

you

mean so much to a [million]

heartache faces...and then you go around

{KILLING}
 all the weirdness that surrounds you

just to

watch a [million]

heartaches bleeding

and

because you think

you're better

than the

{Heartless}

of the

{Heartlessness}

and you decide to become "one-of-a-kind"

and watch as everyone's hearts break

You find a way

to

breathe in the

heartaches

and you

find

that
 nothing

is worth fighting

for....

and you

decide....

to keep the broken heart next to you...

{For All to See}

I Am

...Only human, I dress myself for the part

I spread my wings so I can fly, but they will get
ripped apart.

...Trying to hold on, but sometimes I can't find

where I should hold
So I let myself fall a little ways down, while I watch
my life unfold.

...Laughing on the outside, but filled with tears

within
These curtains I wear to protect myself, is only
leading to a sin.

...Holding my head up high, and trying to find my

wings
But the binds that hold me only go so far, I can't
even hear what an angel sings.
...Throwing a curve ball, and watching it soar
through the air
when it crashes through that window, I know I won't
be bothered to care.

...Not fooling myself, hiding from you all has caused

a great depression
But you only hear laughter, and it's now time for
the next session...

...Still trying to find those wings, a bird flutters by

and i break down inside
And his name rises through my brain, and I know
soon I will find...

...Carrying on, though the fog seems to get heavier

and it begins to snow,
I lose my balance, there here is, with a light
showing me where to go.
 Remember and Don't Forget
Remember when our eyes first gazed upon
one another. Remember the days spent with
each other. Don't forget what we had though
it wasn't long, and the words we spoke; a
bond so strong....
Remember how our bodies entwined
completely, remember how your hands used
to touch me. Don't forget what went on with
us, the way we kissed it was so obvious.
Remember all of our laughs jokes and kisses.
Remember the way you held me in the
kitchen. Don't forget the day we met and the
fire, the way we couldn't help but smile....
Remember all the things we did, please; cuz
that's all we are soon to be...just memories.
Remember the time the moments,
everything, never forget about me....
Remember how our lives changed when we
got together , remember the van the talks,
and the feeling better. Don't forget how you
held me up and saved me, how you held me
up and changed me....
Remember this fact that you're the best
thing, remember even if we do just seep into
a memory. Don't forget the fact that you've
made me see the impossible, the fact that
you know how to make me so comfortable....

and remember that I'll be here

when you need me...Remember...I'll always
be here..

Your Emptiness

You didn't come that night I said please.

You fell to the floor amidst the
strangeness that
Stranded you and told them all you were
okay...
How can you make up such
lies
 and expect them all to care?
How do you feel when
she
throws her arms open to
the other
guys like the way she
did that day?
You never told me the way we were
supposed to live.
And you never said you cared; you
only pulled away
You fell to my feet
and begged me not to leave...

Said you couldn't

breathe...

And all I wanna feel

All I wanna know
Is that you'll make it
And you'll be okay...

It Ain't Jealousy

Hate creeps in as I see that face

I just wanna slap her and put her in
her place.
What right did she have moving in on
 my groove
I laugh cuz in the end she's the one to
lose.

My heart races as I try to hold my

tongue
What she did was a bitch move she's
in the wrong.
What right did she have
Stabbing me in the back?

Right now let me get this straight

It ain't jealousy it's all hate.

Pain settles in as I think about what

happened.
She's mighty stupid and nothing but a
kid.
Boys are more important to her than
any of her friends.
What right does she have making silly
amends?

I try and try to hold my feelings back

I don't wanna hurt her like that
But who gave her the fucking right
To take what was once mine?

I'ma tell you it ain't jealousy or hate

I hold no feelings for her she is nothing
 great...

Friends Do Make Someone

Better

Making my way to the top.

My momentum is non-stop.
My mind is always racing,
to the good times I am always
embracing.
I'm the one you'll never forget.
Laughs and fun you wont ever regret.
I'm the one you'll always yearn for.
I feel your thoughts, You're begging for
more.
And her face creeps in the dark,
my dreams are filled with her mark.
My dream girl makes my heart beat
fast,
shes been there for me since months
gone past.
And this woman stands next to her,
they are equal Manda and Esther.
Manda grabs my hand and protects
me,
softly spoken are the words she's
telling.
They go the extra mile
 to make sure I truly smile.
They both are my Angels in disguise...
Always healing my broken eyes.

To My Bestie

I fear your world is crumbling down

But let your world crash around me, I am
your ground.
My heart beats out to you
I pray you'll make this through

I hope you keep your head up

This is not bad luck
I pray you only weep
If the memory's are too hard to keep.

I try to hold you close to me

But each time you move away
It hurts but I love you so
I pray your pain will forever go...

You haven't spoken to me in days

I wonder if you're going through a
different phase
I want to help you my dear
I sit here in fear...

Your beautiful face locks in my head

I find it hard to lay in bed
 I seek answers but nothing's found
And I am left in this fear and doubt

Just remember, my dear friend,

When you must, please grab my hand
I'll hold you tight and protect you
Until you see this through...
The War

Holding my hands down at my side,

holding them tight enough so they don't
move and I stare straight ahead with my
eyes wide open and my mouth closed. No
smile passes over my face. I just march
on with the rest of the people at my side.
No I don't know them, nor them I. We talk
when we are giving orders.
Other than that... We're not allowed to
speak.
Holding my head up in perfect
posture to where it's stuck like this at
night when I sleep. And I never look at
my feet as I march on. My neck hurts
from this way of life. I blink every 5
minutes and no one is talking... You just
hear feet pounding... Then we are called
to a halt...and all is silent... All is silent.
We can't give away our position, so
we creep around slowly. A gunshot is
heard. A piercing cry. No one moves as he
falls towards the ground. No one blinks as
his knees hit hard on the sand, and when
his head hit the ground it cracked
open...And no one said a thing.
Hope filled us with rage, rage filled
us up with death. We no longer know
what we were still doing here. The war
was over... And it was no ordinary war. It
made us forget who we were. Our
families at home don't know if we're
safe...They just sit and stare. They cry
and scream...

Low Down

Move your hand up and down. Put

some words together so they make
sense. Stare with a blank
expression, while your mind tries
 to remember it.

Look around your dark room,

everything seems so far away.
Everything is so... Why does it
feel so different today?

A smile used to light

across your face
Something doesn't feel
right...Think...
Just think... What about
how you felt
Last night? And you want to
cry, for no
Reason at all, but you
won't let the
Tears fall.

Hold your head up, like nothing

bothers you. Keep in mind, though,
some can see right through... And
when they ask you, “What's wrong?”
what will you say? When they look
in your eyes and bring out the
tears, will you just walk away?

Why does it feel so different?

It used to feel safer than this.
Bring together kindred, you know,
the ones who are just like you. The
ones you never knew. And you can
all mope together in each others
arms, so close. Then make them feel
sorry for you, because of the road
you chose.

Longing and
Loving
I love to hear your voice,
massage against my ear
Making all the scorching fire,
seem to disappear.
I long to feel your arms, wrap
around me tight.
Warming up my heart, and
making sure I'm alright.

And the frogs that dance on

lily pads
Think that they know bliss
But apparently they don't
Cuz they've never ever felt
this.

I long to see your eyes close,

and sleep so close to you
Wondering if I'm in your
dreams, before the morning
dew.
I love to see your smile, flash
before my eyes
Because of what I do for you
and what we do at night...

And the sun that blazes down

 on us,
Might make some people
happy
But nothing can compare
To what you do to me

I long to kiss those lips,

before a bedtime story
This is my happily after, this
is me high on your glory...
 Untitled 3

Outsmarting the others. A

lover-less mind. In the heart that
always bothers, you will never be
mine. A hole to fill, a place that will
never be alive; in the midst of all
that is real, I'm always out of my
mind.

On top of a quiet notion, a

young boy screams out; he's falling
into the ocean, where the girl of his
dreams had fallen about. Waking up
to a dream, to see you're waking to
another one, everything is tearing
at the seam and nothing is ever fun.

As the heart starts to see,

and you start to scream, and I start
to bleed; make me a promise: You
won't forget me. And the
confusement settles in, and we
don't know what's going on, and
everything is going wrong
within...We shall go on strong...
 Untitled 4
Hold up and kiss these lips
That keep your finger-tips
Coming closer to the edge
Near the terrible wreckage
And I haven't found
A place around
The scary mind
It's touching me this time...

Clear the airways

Solute to the freak waves
Say hello to a new goodbye
Tonight's the night we ride
And now you're calling my name
But it's just not the same
As before that night
Before it wasn't right...

Cuddle close
To the mind you miss most
And don't forget your manners
You must live up to her standards
And now everything we had is passing by
And you tried and tried and tried
You kissed me good night
And promised it would be just fine...

Untitled 5
 Crouched into darkness
You never wanted
this
You never wanted to be
What you saw
in me.
You changed into my power
And within the same hour
You destroyed all you looked at
There's no turning back
But you did turn your back on the stress
you caused
And turned down everyone
you've ever loved.
You never wanted to hate
I guess you did it anyway
You never wanted to be what I was
back then
You changed...did you quit believin'?
Did you bite your
tongue
And did you give up on
your fun?
Crowd over your eyes
To take us all by
surprise.
You take over the world
With one little word.
And here you are destroying it all
Not answering to their call
You never wanted to see
What everyone else
believed
 A
smack to your face
Should put you in your place.

As Long
As long as I keep my head up and keep
trying
As long as I keep positive and stop
thinking I'm dying
As long as I keep making them
happy
As long as I keep them all laughing
As long as I keep my voice loud and
strong
As long as I keep my distance from the
wrong
As long as I keep this smile on my
face
As long as I keep holding my place
As long as I keep them satisfied
As long as I keep up with the time
As long as I keep on hoping
As long as I keep on wishing
As long as I keep yelling your name
As long as I keep hiding my shame
As long as I keep believing
As long as I keep breathing
As long as I keep by their side
 As long as I keep my mind
As long as I keep my illness locked
away
As long as I keep us all okay
As long as I keep up with this fight
Everything will be alright.
The Game

You're so deep in your

thoughts
Kept hidden in the time of the
game.
And no one cares for what
you say
So why don't you just keep your
mouth shut?
You're so sure of yourself now
Kept a secret for far too long
And everyone cares that you
are wrong
So why don't you just drop out?
You told everyone a stupid lie
Kept hoping no one would ever
get mad at you
And you acted like you had
no clue
Now count all the people you
made cry
You had us all hanging on a
string
Kept your distance, but made us
follow
And everyone didn't want to
go
But you made us, even though
we were suffering.
You kissed my cheek and
made me blush
Kept up this charade until you
knew how I felt
And no one knew how bad
you made me melt
You knew though, and killed me
with one touch.
Your ways are tearing me
down
Kept thinking you were different
but this is the game
And you said you were sorry
then took the blame
But I know...
I've won now.
 The Beauty of
Ugliness

I look in the back of my mind,

and there letters that
stare me in the face.
They tell me of a
beauty so powerful,
Thanking me for
opening up my mind.
And while your words still
linger in my ears
I think of all the ugliness I
have encountered
And I realize all that
is, is a different
Form of beauty.
It's not ugly, fake, or
solid
It's not strange, broken,
or dead.
It's the way this
world was created
to be
It's the way the wind
was supposed to blow
And I love the way
this set up is.
And I am thankful for
all that I have laid eyes upon.
I feel myself growing up and
starting anew
I feel your eyes and I feel your
smile.
And I am thankful you are
apart of my life
Cuz you hold my hand
when everyone won't.
You let me cry,
though you hate it
And you've always
been there for me...
 I see the beauty
in every ugliness.

I see the best in this

situation.

Don't give up
And k,now I love
you.

A Piece of Advice

Inside your mind lies your

own image of yourself.
It starts the most precious
of things, but as you listen to
each spiteful word, each stupid
sentence, each hurtful
paragraph, that image begins to
deteriorate.
Soon, you have to learn to
not listen to anything anyone
else says.
Life, is about living, not
being torn down by misleading
information Don't be brought
down by careless thoughts.
You ARE NOT what anyone
says, except yourself. Yeah
people talk you down, they
point and laugh, they stare with
their mouths open...

Only proving, all

there is is you.
And that's all you need.

Untitled 6

Your eyes sparkle

in the light
and they see right
through me. A promise
is only in words.
Actions aren't as
strong as belief.
 If you could
find the right reasons
to rummage through the
truth of light. And if you
could tell me the answers
to why it wasn't right.
If you could create a reaction
if you could change time.
Haven't you done something you
regret,
even if they thought it was fine?
If you could find one life
that was perfect; I would go
and change it...

Hot and Cold

I'll straggle around in circles as I

find my escape plan. Throw away the
bottle then grab another; cigarette in
hand. Stroke my buttons 'til liquids
form a mist. Hold you to it believe I'd
do it if only for bliss... Move the
answers to form an equation
complicating your pride. Trust my
force I'll fucking do it, and take over
your mind. They've seen it happen as I
throw this bottle at the fires I see. You
were never there and I don't care if
you bleed.
It always seems great at the time
'til it's done. Push away I lost my
patience, we're not having fun.
Deadliness redirected me away from
here. Your sounds form they are torn
and disappear. Not paying attention to
the beat about. Concentration moved
its stupid ass to a place down south. I
promised to make you crave more
than you could think. But honestly I
hate you, and I still don't care if you
bleed.

And all that belongs

goes crashing down and burns you at
the stake. Afraid to fight. Afraid to
love. You choose death over power.
You choose hot over cold.
 Pictures of an Angel

I hold a hand, and quietly let go.

The last breath was forsaken
My last hope was forgotten
I've arranged a little get together
Between love and death
What's first?
I forget...
I think I once saw:
Canyons yelling at each other
Buildings telling secrets of
falling.
Hearts laughing at the
aftermath
And a baby girl already talking
as if
She was 29.

The words were not from speech

The words were not from sign
language
The words were from her eyes
The pictures I saw were beautiful
She is not a baby girl
 She's my angel...

The Sweet

The cool breeze of summer

passing
The sweet call of everlasting
It could have been worse
But we should have buried this
curse
Of a drama filled relationship
How did they know we would turn
to shit?

The clouds blocking the sun

The sweet smell of what was done
It could have been hate
But we should have burned this
place
Where we spent our woeing
and crying
How did they know we were
dying?

The heat burns the trees

The sweet sound of disbelief
It could have been better
But we should have watched us
together
How we stood then fell
How the fuck did they know we'd
be in this hell?

The sky turns to black

The sweet feeling we took
background
It could have just been rage
But we should have broken down
this cage
Where we stayed trapped for
so long
And they knew us together was so
wrong...
 Hold

Held up on her own

Never was such a beautiful home
Here to crack apart and break
To drain it all out in the sink.
Holding out her arms
Sounding out alarms
The death of a loved one
Everyone's crying, she's too young.
Held a rose in hand
The thorns do what damage they can
The rose withered and fell apart
The sign of another broken heart
Holding what she could
It was raining blood
 The mother drank from the well
And the father grew ill
Held on too tightly
Shouldn't have been taken too lightly
The money bought the happiness
But it caused the greediness
Holding a baby now
She wants to escape somehow...

Stolen

It was stolen from me

Innocence and being happy
I shoulda seen it coming
If only I wasn't so loving...

It was stolen away

Not going back to that day
Your strength overpowered my heart
If only I could break you apart...

You have stolen the last!

Don't move too fast
Because Baby I will trip you into a black hole
If only that was the final blow...

I've stolen the words from my book

Now if you don't mind, take a look
 At the pain on this piece of paper
If only we could turn to something happier...

It was stolen not too long ago

I'm gonna give it all back though
It is found not worthy of this place
If I only could just punch you in the face...

Eh

I wake up, it's like 4:30 in the A.M. My

mind's so gone can't decipher where I
been. These past few weeks been a bit
hazy man I hope I didn't do anything
crazy. I'm stuck feelin like a schizo in this
place, hold my head up high I've been
thrown from grace, and my body's aching
I feel like I'm breakin, and I wonder what
you're up to, do you feel the way that I
do? I read you wasn't doin so well, but
you never call so it's hard to tell, and now
I can't break away from a past sin, that's
left me with the biggest grin. I pull a
 pillow to my chest, Feelin anything but
blessed. See held in this mind of mine,
are secrets and pain kept from over time.
Are you feelin the way that I am? Hope
not, see you must understand, I don't do
drugs but I feel so lost, and I can't break
free, don't know whats gotten into me. I
fake a smile and pretend it's alright, then
your face creeps into my mind.
No hope left in this hopeless struggling
life, lost it all I guess it was the same
night, I woke up took a drive to see my
sister in tears, and I guess that's why we
been distant all these years. But that
angel is gone now to a better
somewhere, the stars shine brighter on
that time of year. but that's a different
story for another occasion, but since then
I've lost most passion. Carrying onto a
different subject, I got an idea and I hope
you don't object, I plan to make you feel
my agony, this kinda pain gets me down
on one knee. You left me stranded and
used, I've caused self-abuse, and it's
nothing new, but I thought that you,
would at least still be a friend, and I
forget you're only a man. And again
that's for a different day, but right now all
I'm tryna say, is: Are you feelin the way
that I am? Hope not, see you must
understand, I don't do drugs but I feel so
lost, and I can't break free, don't know
 whats gotten into me. I fake a smile and
pretend it's alright, then your face creeps
into my mind.
Backdrop the high times, Lose when the
wind dries, but I don't know what I'm
saying, Just moving my hands and this
what's playin. Race around the parking
lot with stolen meat, and you promise me
you got a tasty treat. I run into the wall of
exception, hope there is time for
redemption, You lose what you stole with
a gain for a hole, and I'm not here
anymore it's all just a blur. Thinkin of
seein a doctor soon, hope his pad of
paper has lots of room, for this crazy shit
thats in my storage space, close my eyes
I'm bein taken to a different place...Don't
forget me I scream into the Mic, and I'm
not done I'm giving all my might. I
noticed where you're standin' is where I
should be, but right now I can't move my
body, I'm being held back by a different
source of reason, get back here you ain't
done pleasin', now I move back to the
chorus don't worry I'll forget us...

My body feels like:

Eh...eh...Yeah...
My mind is like: Eh...eh...Fuck...
I'm hoping like:
Eh...eh...Whatever...
 See I'm Only like: Eh...eh...fuck
it...

About the Author:

Kathrine was born June 19, 1991 in
Rochester, NY. She now resides in
Menifee, CA with her boyfriend. She loves
to read and write. She also likes to help
others in her spare time. She loves
working around children.
For more about this author please email
her directly at kathrinesfanmail@gmail.com
where she will talk to you about anything
you want to talk to her about.
 The End

The End
Good or bad
Coming , and
seeming
Too soon...