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Program Transcript:
Disc Eight
Created By
Ross Jeffries
The “Guru of
Getting Some”
Website:
http://www.speedseduction.biz
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and will not be held liable for any and all claims from you or any other third party.
You alone are responsible for your decisions and actions, even if they have an impact
on others. This information is meant for "entertainment" purposes only.
While this transcript contains information, tips, tools, and strategies that are
recommended by us and, in most cases, have succeeded when applied by others, this
product and its contents carry no warranty or guarantee (either explicit or implied) that
the purchaser or reader will achieve success with women, or in any other endeavor for
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Ross: Do you see how easily he’s able to learn when you slow down? You
remembered what I said. You were able to put it together in your mind and
come up with a beautiful application because you slowed down. Do you
see the power of it? It almost gives me a woody because I’m such a good
teacher.
Do you know what else? I know someone who used to do this. He would
be at a bar. He would be talking to girls. He would say, “What you’re really
saying is if you could meet a guy who makes you feel connected and that
sense of destiny to the point where you say ‘Mmmm,’ that would be
incredible, wouldn’t it?” Then he sits down on the chair. It’s all anchored.
Anchoring is really simple. You don’t need to take a course in it. Does
anybody know who John Wooden was? You wouldn’t. UCLA, my school
where I went, had the world’s best basketball team. When John Wooden
was coach, for about 30 years, they won the NCAA Championship about
28 years out of that 30. He was arguably the greatest college basketball
coach in the world.
John Wooden only had one play. He had one defensive play, which was
man-on-man. He had one offensive play, which was the fast break. His
players were drilled over and over again in taking one kind of shot, which
was a 15-foot shot from basically the free-throw line.
He trained his players that, when they would get the ball, they didn’t do
any fancy stuff. They would always stop at the free-throw line and pass
the ball effectively. There was no point in their opponents ever scouting
UCLA to find out what their plays were because they were obvious. There
was only one, but they drilled them over and over again, so they did it to
perfection.
When you think about someone you want to have wild sex with, I know my
face doesn’t immediately pop into mind. You can put things in your hands
and imagine they’re there in your hands. That’s another way to anchor. It’s
very simple.
You can anchor things to an object, to a chair. Here’s another wicked one.
I’ve done this. You’re talking to the girl. You have your drink here. She’s
telling you about the things that turn you on. You say, “So, what you’re
really saying is if you could be with someone who’s a great kisser,” or
whatever quality she’s looking for, and then you look at your hand.
Look at your hand, guys. Practice with me looking at your hand. Why do I
look at her hand? I want to direct her attention to what I’m doing. “If you
could be with someone who makes you really laugh, has great hands and
is a scandalous kisser, where do you think that could lead?” They don’t
get it.
Ross: How many times has it actually worked to get a strong response?
Ross: It’s always worked. It’s worked 100%. Have you ever been caught?
Participant: I also put a bit of a challenge as well. I’ll say, “When you have those three
qualities in front of you, what it is it about this person that would make you
come back for more?”
Ross: Ooh. So he says, “If you could be with someone who has this, this and
this, what is it about them that would make you want to come back for
more?” That’s beautiful. Now he’s not only anchoring all of that stuff to
him, but he’s also challenging them to jump through the hoop and explain
why they’re worth it.
Ross: That’s right. By the way, I’ve used a similar thing when women say, “I’m
not going to go out with you because I know who you are and you just
want to fuck me.” I turn around and say, “If I was a woman, I would have
so much confidence in my ability to fuck my brains out. I know that that
person would keep coming back for more because the sex would be so
fantastic.”
That gets rid of the objection. That’s brilliant. Jonathan, this is an example
of a student improving on what I do by adding in an element. I taught you
that element, but I never put it together in that way.
When you meet someone who has this, this and this, what is it about you
that would keep this person coming back for more? It forces her to begin
to describe her good qualities and try to prove to you that she’s
worthwhile.
Participant: I said, “That’s all I want to know about you.” Then I kissed her.
Ross: Good. Do we get how this works? You could do this with anything, even if
it’s not a formal quiz. In the course of talking, if you pick up that her trance
words are destiny, energy and ecstasy, you could say, “Isn’t it interesting
that, if you were to meet someone who made you feel that energy, destiny
and ecstasy, how it could lead to something that would take you in a
whole new direction?”
It’s almost like there’s a much bigger part you want to take on tonight.
Then you can say, “Why don’t we go somewhere where we can really
focus in without all this noise, really relax and enjoy.” Notice the part
“where we can really relax and enjoy.” Enjoy what? I don’t say. It keeps it
safe. It also gets her to imagine it.
If I said, “Why don’t we go somewhere where we can relax and focus in,
where it’s quiet? We can really enjoy making out and fucking like crazed
weasels,” that might often work by this point.
Participant: Are there any methods you can use to memorize all this stuff, like actors
would use?
That’s a great thing to rehearse before you go out sarging. I was going to
talk about this when I wrapped up. Before you go out sarging, rehearse all
of this.
Then imagine taking on the perspective of a woman hearing all this and
getting really turned on in her body and thinking, “I really want to fuck this
guy.” You would be surprised how that communicates a great message,
and you wind up having that happen.
Look at me. This is a subtle point. Instead of rehearsing failure and being
rejected, why don’t you rehearse being inside the woman and being totally
turned on and wanting to fuck you as a result of what you’re saying? That
is really powerful. It sends a message out. Notice I didn’t say to rehearse
being accepted and succeeding.
Ross: Right, but I didn’t say superior. There’s an important distinction. You don’t
need superiority. You just need to be effective. Sometimes effective is just
very simple. Sometimes the most effective thing you can do is pick the
right subject. That’s a quote. Write that down. It’s Ross Jeffries’ quote.
“Sometimes the most effective thing you can do is to pick the right
subject.”
You can’t pick the right subject unless you know what kind of energy and
vibe you’re looking for in a woman. To get the skill at picking the right
subject, you must spend some time in study, whether you’re meditating,
going out for a walk, hiking or taking a shower.
You must spend some time beginning to discover the energy and vibe of
the women you would like to be with so that you know, instinctively and
intuitively, how to pick the right subjects.
All the things I’ve said to you, notwithstanding people having their first
responses and people really having these patterns, I’m not out to teach
them. I’m out to teach you guys. It’s not my job to be their transformer,
healer or therapist.
Any time it begins to feel like work, like I’m pushing the snowball up the
hill, it’s not SpeedSeduction. If I’m pushing the snowball down the hill,
riding on it as it goes, and screaming, “Whee!” that’s SpeedSeduction.
Then she eats my ice cream cone on the way down. That’s
SpeedSeduction.
If it feels like I’m pushing hard, the timing is really off, she’s not bringing
her own mind to the exploration, she’s not fun, she’s not healthy or she
doesn’t have some reasonable ability to control the circumstances of her
life, I don’t want to deal with it.
Many women who are flaky are not flaky because they don’t like you. It’s
just that their life is totally chaotic and out of control. Their parole officer
tried to rape them and walked in on them shooting heroin with their twin
brother who’s cheating on them with their mother. It’s that whole “Jerry
Springer” thing. I was on that show three times, by the way, before it was
violent.
You need to decide and explore for yourself in different ways what is the
vibe and the type of women you want to attract. Sometimes you can only
do that by having many experiences and seeing what you like and what
you don’t.
The lesbian who had you duct-taped to the bed to fulfill her rape fantasies,
did she want you to slap her and choke her when you were fucking her?
Certainly that’s someone who would be fun, but I don’t know if you’d want
to take her home to family supper. It might liven up Shabbat dinner at my
sister Marion’s house.
My nephews would like it. I won’t tell you their nickname for me because
it’s a family nickname. Whenever I bring over a beautiful girl, they say,
“Uncle blank-blank has brought someone else again.”
She said, “In this dream, I’m in the swimming pool outside in the backyard.
Your voice is calling to me under the water. I try to fight it, but I feel myself
being pulled downward irresistibly. I can’t control it. The water just takes
me. Your voice is down there waiting for me. I’ve had this dream several
nights in a row, Uncle.”
Ross: Instead of rehearsing rejection, rehearse how women will feel as they
totally want to fuck you as a result of what you’re saying. I want you to
rehearse out loud what you’d say and what you’d do. Then I want you to
fractionate and take on the woman’s perspective, being on the receiving
end of this, how she would feel in her body.
I’m so proud of you guys. You’ve become great learners since Friday.
You’re on it. You’re learning. You’re participating. You’re demonstrating
great understanding. You’re a fantastic audience. This is fun.
Otherwise, I don’t have the time. I’m too busy. I have too much on my
mind. This job I’m doing now is just part of what I’m working on. I don’t
have time for people who waste my time, who can’t follow through. I just
don’t.
Ross: You mean not grasping onto it? That’s far too complex a question to ask
for most people here. You’re right. That’s very advanced thinking on your
part. You’re Indian, by extraction, aren’t you?
Participant: Yes.
Ross: My Indian students are always the smartest. Shame on you, white people.
I’m the Omega male. No, he’s not good at sarging.
This afternoon, we’re going to do vibe and the walk-up diamond openers.
Since you guys want it, you want some different sequence of patterns, I’m
going to give it to you since you feel you need the training wheels. I’ll give
you your training wheels. We’re going to do a little bit more on the
meditation exercise that you need. Then we’ll take some more questions.
You know what, Shirleen? If you want to take another 45 minutes to flit
about, I want to do the openers with them. You’re welcome to stay, but I
won’t need you to teach for another 45 minutes to an hour. Shirleen also
has CDs for sale. They’re in the back of the room. She’s told me she’ll
take the curse off me if you’ll buy them.
I want to congratulate you guys. I was absolutely thrilled to see the level of
participation this morning when I shared that dream with you. You guys
were spot on. I mean really good at even educating me. I did not realize
This afternoon, we’re going to get into the vibe and openers. Then we’re
going to show you sequences, a couple of examples of what would make
for a successful sarge because you want that, right? You guys need some
sense of a roadmap, some kind of training wheels that you can run on
before you take off the wheels and just go. I understand that.
I’ve been promising that to you. I had to lay the groundwork first. Now you
have a good working understanding of how this stuff works. Now when I
show it to you, you won’t be scratching your ass, sticking your thumb in
your rectum and saying, “Uhhh.”
I’ve been working on this idea. Let’s say you get guys to stop doing all that
reinforcing and ruminating. That’s all gone. You give them beliefs for
learning. How are you going to teach them what to pay attention to and
what to ignore? When you set out and do a sarge, as I said, one of the
most challenging things is confusion. You’re not quite sure what worked or
what went wrong.
In James’ case, he got good positive feedback. When that lesbian lifted
her skirt, pulled aside her panties, showed him, said, “Look, it’s dripping,”
took him home and said, “Duct tape me, please, and fuck my brains out,”
James: The first time I ever used the pattern, it was a different story.
Ross: Don’t gainsay me here. For the point of the story, when that happened,
you had success. There was no confusion there. The bottom line is there
is usually no confusion at the peak of your skills because it’s all working.
When you have no skill at all, there’s no confusion. You know you’re
failing because nothing’s happening.
When you start to move up the learning curve, often what happens is
you’re not sure what to pay attention to. You don’t know at what level or at
what point in the sarge things are not working so it gets confusing. Am I
right or am I right? Raise your hands if you’ve experienced this.
The single biggest challenge for those of you in the back of the room who
teach these skill sets, whether you teach your own or mine, I’m telling you
right now is not approach-anxiety or fear. To be certain, those are
important. The single biggest thing is confusion, not knowing if they’re
being effective or not. Are they becoming attractive or are they not
becoming attractive?
It’s that fractionation back and forth between thinking it is working and
then thinking it’s not working that’s deeply confusing. You’re fractionating
yourselves in a way that is not useful. Here’s one thing I came up with that
I think is very useful. When you’re looking at any kind of skill set, but
especially sarging, one thing to look at is to chunk it according to time.
Maybe you need to improve what you’re doing in the preparation phase.
Maybe there’s something you need to do more of, do differently, do less
You may need to add something in. That could be a skill set, a belief, a
vibe, an attitude. There may be something you need to add in. Does that
make sense? There may be something you need to subtract out. This is in
any phase of improvement, whether before, during or after. There are
things you need to add in, things you need to subtract out.
There may be things that you need to diminish. It’s not that you shouldn’t
do them. Maybe you need to diminish the intensity. You may need to
diminish the frequency. In other words, don’t do it as often. You can
diminish the speed at which you do something. Do things slower.
You may want to diminish the amount of internal dialog. Don’t let it go
entirely, but really turn it down. There are those aspects you need to
diminish. You may need to add in, subtract in or diminish. You may need
to increase or intensify.
You can increase the overall energetic intensity. You could increase your
volume. You could increase your speed. You could increase the number
of repetitions you simply go out and do. Instead of talking to five women,
maybe you have to increase it and talk to 20.
Finally, there are those things that need to be balanced. In other words,
yes, you’re increasing or diminishing them, but you’re only doing it in pair
with something else. For example, maybe you diminish your dominance,
but you increase your playfulness. You’re not diminishing your dominance
outside of anything else. You’re doing it in concert with something else.
Does this make sense? This is pretty common sense, but people tend to
forget it when they’re in an area of light that’s very charged.
When I sarge, I do all my vibe. I do all that stuff. Then I imagine walking in
to the venue. I see a symbolic representation of my energy reaching out
and unconsciously touching all the women who are already going to get
me. They may not consciously be aware of it. Because they’re tuned into
my vibe, they’re already getting me.
My job during the evening is not to create any kind of attraction at all. It’s
merely to take the attraction that the vibe created and to bring it to the
conscious surface. That’s my model for me of doing SpeedSeduction.
Some of them are so aware of their own energy and their own bodies that
they immediately know they’ve gotten somebody. They’re just not sure
who. They’ll look around the room. When they look at me, they think, “Oh,
he’s the one I get.” Do you understand?
What are some of the elements you should be always doing? You never
stop doing it. Always be in control of your state. Always control your state.
Always be calibrating the other person to see if they’re following with you
or not. The word “calibrating” just means paying attention.
Control your state. Calibrate. I teach that you should always be in rapport.
Those who say “break rapport,” with all due respect, don’t understand
what rapport means. They think rapport means trying to gather information
about the person or getting them to accept you. That’s not rapport at all.
That has nothing to do with it.
A person could hate your fucking, living guts, and you could still be in
rapport with them. To me, rapport is about an unconscious sense of
connection. Somewhere in the unconscious level, you’re vibing with that
You may need to make adjustments in those things you’re always going to
do, continuously. You never stop doing them. Does this make sense?
You’re going to be changing your vibe throughout the sarge, but you’re
always paying attention, on some level, to your vibe.
If you can learn to analyze things in this level, you’ll get a lot better
understanding of where you need to make improvements. There are those
that you do sequentially, meaning you only do them once and you do them
in a certain order. Think of a recipe. When you bake a cake, you put
together all the ingredients. You mix it up in the bowl. You stick it in the
oven. You take it out of the oven.
But you don’t crack in the eggs once you’ve baked it. You have to do it in
the right order. You don’t keep cracking in the eggs. You do it once, at the
right point, in the right proportion.
What we’re going to cover this afternoon are those things you do
sequentially. When you guys ask for a sequence of patterns from start to
close, you’re asking for things that are done sequentially. You only do
them once. You do them in a certain order. That’s what you’re asking for.
I’m going to give that to you.
I want you to understand that that may not be where you need your
improvement. It may not be where you have the most leverage. You may
have the most leverage for improvement somewhere else.
This is subtle, but this is where mastery is. This is the stuff you return to
periodically throughout the sarge from time to time. You don’t do it all the
time, but neither do you only do it in a certain order. You return to it
periodically throughout the sarging process. I’m going to say it again. You
don’t do it all the time, but you return to it periodically throughout the
sarging process.
This is where mastery is. In fact, in any kind of persuasive skill set, the
mastery is right there. It’s what most people ignore on their way to
mastery. Most people who get good and stop right there don’t understand
this and don’t master this bit. It’s this bit that is your key to absolute
mastery, right here.
Participant: Fractionating.
Yes, that’s one thing you do periodically. What else might you do
periodically?
Ross: It’s on the line of something you do continuously, but I’ll buy that. What
else? What is something you do periodically? You don’t do it all the time,
nor do you do it only once.
How about periodically checking to see how comfortable she is with being
touched? Periodically, we’re going to return to the scene. One of the
things I do is, periodically, I check in to see the balance between comfort
and heat. I’m working toward two things, comfort and heat. Periodically, I
will check in to see where that’s at. How I do that is another question.
Periodically, we’re testing for readiness. We’re testing to see where she’s
at. Remember I said if a lady is giving you every signal that she’s totally
turned on by you, wants to be with you and is absolutely ready, don’t go
piling on more stuff. You’re done. Job over.
In the beginning, I know many of you are going to get so excited about
these tools working that you’re going to go crazy with them. I’m saying no.
It’s also key to utilize her responses. Do we ignore information? Who does
most of the talking in a good SpeedSeduction? Let’s hear it.
Ross: Eighty percent of the talking is being done by her. If she gives you
information and you ignore it, you are a fucking idiot. Write that down. “If
she gives me information and I ignore it, I am a fucking idiot.” This is the
beauty of SpeedSeduction. To do it well, you really have to listen and pay
attention to the unique person in front of you.
If you’re doing 50 different stories to show her what an exciting life you
have, you’re not doing SpeedSeduction. And more, you’re doing the work.
We’re not the guys who push the snowball up the hill, and it gets heavier
and heavier. We take the little snowball, tap it and it gathers its own
momentum and creates an avalanche, a snow slide. You had better be
paying attention to what she says and incorporate it.
Ross: Yes, you’re always paying attention. Utilizing what she gives you is what
you do periodically. I’m always paying attention to her. There are those
things you do periodically.
Do any of these ladies want to play with me on stage, or are they still shy?
Look at that, they’re afraid of me. Hey, no bullying. That’s not allowed.
Look here, not at them. Calm down.
I’m not of a mind to offer a gift to someone who is not of a mind to eagerly
accept it. If you give a gift, you don’t persuade. If you’re persuading, you’re
selling, not giving a gift. That’s the end of the story.
If people don’t want to learn to triple their orgasms, have feelings that
they’ve never had before and be more in love with their boyfriends in a
way that their boyfriend would never even think of looking at another girl
ever again unless she picks the girl out to go home with him, that’s fine. I
don’t care. It’s none of my business.
There are things you do at the end, when you’re closing the deal. Maybe
you really have to work on your closing. I don’t even like the word
“closing.” It’s more like an opening, a powerful opening for a new direction.
Do you ever meet someone and, within 10 minutes, you just know you like
this person? This person can lead you places. There’s a different part you
want to take inside yourself. You can feel that you’re opening for
something new, a new direction you want to take inside.
Even though people may laugh, friends may not approve and you may
even feel a little strange about it at first, still, at the same time, you also
can find a place in your mind where you set that aside, where you can see
It’s a place where you want to succeed. You all want to succeed. You can
see yourself suck-ceeding in a new direction. There’s stuff you do at the
very end, your closing. There’s a sense in which that’s a mistake.
That’s also a mistake. I don’t believe that closing is a discrete part of the
process. I believe the moment I approach someone, the way I interact with
them energetically has already begun the close. Anything that moves us
further along in a mutually enjoyable exploration is part of the close.
She’s on one side. Gabe’s on the other. I’m talking to her about The
Game. Suddenly I look at her and say, “So, do you have a thing for my
nephew?” Women do this thing where the real answer will flash across
their face for a tenth of a second before they hide it. She and Gabe both
turned the same shade of beet red, looking at each other. I thought, “Aha.
Very nice.”
I said, “You haven’t even made out with her? Dude, she clearly wants
you.” He said, “I know. She told me she was a virgin. You know, I’m a
virgin too.” I said, “Okay, no problem.” I was thinking, “You won’t be for
long, kid, not with me as your uncle.” He said, “What do I do?”
For him, he’s viewing it as a discrete thing that he does at the very end.
He’s viewing any kind of physical contact with her at all as something he
does at the very end to close the deal. That’s a mistake.
I said, “You can’t just go from no contact to lunging at her Try this. Try
play-fighting with her. Get into a pillow fight with her. Wrestle with her, so
she gets used to the touching.” He said, “I get it.” Then he said, “I met
someone even hotter, and she’s not a virgin.” I thought, “Go for it, kid.”
I’m going to show you this stuff. You want to know the sequential stuff.
Bear in mind that the sequential stuff is only a piece of the puzzle, not the
whole thing.
Analog variables are anything that vary along a range. Lisa, do any of
these lights have a dimmer switch? That would be analog. It varies along
a range. There are some lights here that switch on and off. Which ones
switch on and off? That’s digital.
Some of what you’re doing is analogical. Your volume, the speed at which
you move and the speed at which you process are analog. With digital, it’s
either there or it’s not. You either say this word, or you don’t say this word.
You either make this move, or you don’t make this move. You may want to
look at those things that have to be shifted or changed.
That’s one hell of a condom, isn’t it? This is like the ultimate French
Tickler. It looks like it is Bigfoot’s French Tickler. Look at that. You have to
expect it to coo when you pet it. I don’t want to say I’m that big, but when I
go to Disney Land, I pay adult admission and an extra kid’s ticket too.
Finally, there are those things that are interpersonal, how you react with
others, and intrapersonal, meaning what’s going on inside your own skin.
These are pretty exhaustive and thorough diagnostic categories. These
are all the different levels you need to look at where you might want to
make improvements and adjustments.
When you come home from a sarge and reboot, these are the various
things you can look at. Since we’re going to do some sequential stuff, let’s
start with openers.
When you get really good with this stuff, you just find yourself meeting
women anywhere, everywhere you go. It’s no longer about a geographical
location.
One of the things I stopped doing was actually pretty effective. Let’s say
she had a really big bag. I’d say, “Wow. Your bag is <pause> great. Sorry,
my complimenter is <pause> stuck.” It gets a big laugh. Fuck you all.
That’s an example of a put-on.
Here’s another put-on I often use. I was at the Roosevelt Hotel, and they
were having a Playmate convention. I’m walking in the lobby, and I’ve
never seen so many plastic-surgery examples in nine square feet. They
walk right in the middle of me. Suddenly I’m in a swarm of them. I look
around and say, “I picked the wrong hotel to be gay.”
Another put-on is the fake stutter, to say, “That bag is <pause> enormous.
I’m sorry. My complimenter is on <pause> stuck.” Trust me, it always gets
a laugh. You have to be able to deliver it right.
Participant: Be gay.
Ross: Another example is acting flamingly gay, which I don’t do anymore, but I
used to. What else?
Ross: The woman walks into the Coffee Bean. She has pink eyeliner, pink
lipstick, pink cheek blush. Strike that. She’s wearing purple, purple
eyeliner, purple lipstick, purple blush. She had a purple gym outfit, purple
bag, purple nails. I forgot to mention that. She had purple streaks in her
hair too.
Ross: I haven’t used that in a long time. Or to say, “Excuse me, miss. I know this
is going to sound a little strange, but I know what your perfect lover looks
like.” She’s going to say, “What do you mean?” I say, “I see his face in the
mirror every morning when I shave.” I’m forgetting some. I’ve done a
couple of others that were really ripper funny in my career.
There are also context-specific put-ons. Back in April, I went to see this
roly-poly, light-in-the-loafers, flamingly gay spiritual reader. His name is
Hans King. He had a crowd of about 98 women in that room, and the only
two guys were my nephew and me.
I looked at Gideon and said, “Why didn’t I think of that? That’s really
simple.” It was ridiculous. He kept talking about how the spirits will give
you lucky numbers. You can tune into the spirits to get Lotto numbers. At
the break, I saw this hot-looking woman at the literature table. I said to my
nephew, “Nephew, watch this.”
That was very context-specific. You couldn’t use that somewhere else,
could you? Maybe you’re in the bedding shop. I don’t know if you want to
date a woman who frequents the bedding shop, but you get my idea.
Here’s another put-on I love to do. Now I’m waking up. I’m remembering
my own put-ons. In America, they have an office-supply store called
Staples. Go to your local Staples. Find the prettiest girl there who’s a
customer. I’ve done this, and I swear it works. Walk up to her and say,
“Excuse me. Where do you keep the laser printer cartridges?”
They always say, “I don’t work here.” You say, “I know, but the people who
work here are butt-ugly and you’re really cute.” It also works in the
supermarket. Walk up to the pretty girl. “Excuse me. Where do you keep
the lamb shanks?” They always say, “I don’t work here.” You say, “I know,
but the people who work here are dwarf-butt ugly, and you’re really cute.
My name is…”
James: I was in a club last January. This girl was sitting by the bar. Guys would
come up to her every two or three minutes. She was getting really pissed
off with it. There was one guy who was hanging around. I could tell she
was pissed off with him.
I went up to her and said, “You two make such a cute couple.” She said,
“He’s been pestering me all night.” I said, “I just had to give him a chance
before I came along. My name is James.”
Ross: I like that. Here’s another one. I’ve done this. If you see a woman who’s
blowing guys off left and right, walk up to her and say, “I’m wondering
what it is you’re doing to keep the guys away because it’s not working with
me.”
The key thing about a put-on is that it’s fun. It’s obviously not done with
any kind of malice to it. It’s funny. It gets a laugh. From there, you’re going
to introduce yourself.
Usually what happens when I do a put-on is, once the woman laughs, I’ll
say something like, “I’m glad you laughed. I noticed you here. I wanted to
meet the person wrapped inside all the pretty. My name is….” That’s my
standard follow-up for a put-on. Or I’ll say, “I noticed you here, and I
wanted to meet you.”
The “wrapped in the pretty” is not a direct compliment. We’re going to get
to indirect compliments in a moment. It’s an implied compliment. I didn’t
That is not directly saying I think she’s pretty. If you really wanted to be a
bastard, you could say, “I’m glad you laughed because I wanted to meet
the person wrapped in all the pretty, but she just walked out the door.” We
don’t do that kind of stuff. That’s neg’ing. We don’t neg.
Participant: With that opener that you just had, “What is it that you’re using to keep the
men away because it’s not working with me?” she will laugh.
Ross: Now you’re really learning. Do you see how smart he is? I do one little
change and suddenly he goes from a confused spastic to a super-genius.