Two Day

Philly
 by Lou Carrao

Anything you conceive or believe, you can achieve.”

-Dream Book

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Happy New Year!!!!!!!

There you have it the ball has dropped in this

story and it is the new year of 2008. (Time flies
when you think about it; you can not stop it you
just go with the flow of it.)

This is a story of two boys who just turned the

milestone of adulthood. They had everything going
for them, a band, their friends, and a good easy
going life at home. Till one day when they decided
to leave and live a life in the city of brotherly
love. (Thanks Black for reminding me of the
significance of that.)

Back to the party, everyone was dancing to the

upbeat music blasting in the basement. Boys and
girls were getting their first kisses of the New
Year. There were about 75 people packed like
sardines in this Rutgers house. More people who did
not want to partake in the countdown were up stairs
playing beer pong and all.

There were a total of three kegs and 2 jugs of

jungle juice and more bottles of vodka, wine, and
etcetera. There was about a total of 150 kids in
that house from the whole night. It was absolutely
crazy. The boys had on their ties and suit jackets.
The girls had on their skimpy little dresses
looking sexy as hell.

Everyone was trashed once the New Year came and

there was music blasting all night long till the
sun came up. The boys were in another zone after
drinking beer and taking a grav from a plastic cup.
(Go figure.) The night was one to remember. It was
the best party they have ever gone to and all of
them can agree on that.

There were people fighting, beer spilling,

cigarette butts flicking, and shit just going
crazy. It was a monkey house. The house looked like
it just got hit by a tornado of beer; there were
holes in the walls from one of my buddies. The
madness kept going on and I loved every moment of
it.

As the night grew older and older more people left

and went back to their caves for sleep. Around five
o’clock in the morning, Brown was sleeping upstairs
with my head on a little chair. It was not the most
comfortable spot to pass out but it worked because
he really did not give a shit. (You know how it
is.)

Well Brown woke up at around seven. (A great

night’s sleep if you ask me.) So he went out side
and smoked one of his last cigarettes that he had.
(A cigarette in the morning after drinking is
actually refreshing but sometimes if you do not eat
it can get you feeling pretty shittayyy.) This one
was good. After Brown threw the smoking cylinder
out, he and a couple of nighttime companions went
to get bagels. They walked the cold brisk streets
as the sun was lighting up our side of the world.
They met a boy on the road and he was looking for a
bagel place, they knew where it was so he joined
the train journey to get them. Brown got a nice
plain bagel with cream cheese. (Bagels are my
favorite food possibly ever, especially All Star.)
“Everything Bagel Whyyyy Knot,” shouts my friend to
the Mexican worker. The bagel fest was very good;
the young adults just laughed thinking about all
the funny moments that happened not too long ago.
There was a boy that I did not even know who got
socked right in the face, haha. (I do not mean to
laugh but this kid came to the bagel store with a
rag with ice on his head, he was a cool kid to me
the whole time at the party it’s a shame he got
knocked in the head. Talk about a hangover and
getting hit in the head. OUCH!)

After we stuffed our faces with our food, we headed

back to the desecrated house. Just as we were about
to leave someone who we never met rolled a J. Brown
and Red got a few rippers before Dirty Al from Cali
drove them home. This was one the only times when
Brown did not have his car. The day previously he
went home with his buds to stop by and Vincent his
dad came out in a fury and took the keys of the car
right out of his paws. The boys were really beat
when that happened. Having no wheels on New Years
was a totally buzz kill. When the night came that
day they got a ride from Brown’s parents to New
Brunswick so it worked out.

So yea, they were bugging out the whole ride back

to Bricktown. It was an interesting twist in the
morning. (When you get up and get a few rips the
only word to describe it is redic.) The nugget
cured our hangover like a doctor’s prescription.
Alfred and his brother Patrick were in the front
and Black, Brown and Red were chilling deep in the
back passing out.

The ride felt like forever and finally they arrived

at Red’s house around 9am. Brown got picked up and
passed out for a good 6 hours. Red and Black were
dreaming until three o clock. The long night had
just ended and it will be something we will never
forget.

Around four o clock Brown woke up refreshed like

never before. He got a call from his buddy the
Mooch. The Mooch missed out on a good night but
supposedly he had a drunken adventure of his own.
He got wasted with his good ole family. His mom was
drunk throwing up everywhere. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

So Brown picked up the Mooch and just as any good

story starts they decided to go to Applebee’s. This
time the Mooch offered to pay! How about that? What
a pleasant surprise. (You’d laugh if you knew him.)

We’ll they were munching away, pointing out all the

pretty girls, and laughing their asses literally
off. Suddenly Brown got a call from Red at 6pm.

Red-Yo man (Sounding pretty distraught)

Brown-What up dude?

Red-I’m leaving my house

Brown-WHATT dude! Why?

Red-It’s just time to leave, I can’t take this

place anymore.

Brown-Wow I did not expect this.

Red-I’m at the hospital, you gotta come here.

Brown-Ugh, I’m at Applebee’s eating dude.

Red-You need to come man.

Brown-Hmm, Ok dude were heading over as soon as

possible.

Click!

Brown-Crazy news, we got to see Red he’s at the

hospital. He ran away from his home for good.

Mooch-Ah dude, what the hell? Alright let’s pay

this bitch and peace this shithole. Woah! Did you
see that bangin girl in the corner? Why the hell
would that nigger leave his house?

Brown-Dude I don’t know why he did it but we should

late this place.

So they paid the check and left a decent tip. They

got in the peace-mobile and drove toward Brick.

They arrived at the hospital in Bricktown, and were

driving around finding somewhere to park. They
finally found a spot out front where there was a
sign for only patient pickups. So they hoped they
wouldn’t get a ticket and walked into the main
entrance.

They found Red hanging out in a waiting room and he

was just sitting with a backpack and a smile on his
face.

Brown-What are you doing dude?

Red-Just chilling you know.

Da Mooch-Why the hell did you leave your house.

Red-It’s time to move on. You guys should come.

Brown-I don’t know man, life is pretty easy right

now.

Mooch-Yea, my parents would fuckin kill me, are you

crazy?

Red-Guys, lets just leave. The time is now guys!

It’s time to move on.

Brown-Hmm.....since it’s the New Year and I’m not

going to college I don’t have anything to lose.

Red-Yea man, dude it’s the fucking New Year!

Da Mooch-Yea, moving out would be awesome!

Brown-Let’s go!

Red-Hell Yea!

Da Mooch-Holy shit!

The boys left the hospital and went back to the car
to find no ticket on the dashboard. (Thank God that
would’ve been a bad start to this adventure.)They
headed over toward Lakewood to Brown’s house and
the time was about 8:30pm. The boys called up their
final piece of the band which was Black.

Ring, Ring, Ring

Black-Yo what up

Red-Yeooo, were leaving this town tonight!

Black-What?/? Come over

Red-Were coming over brahh

Click!

That was my last call I ever made

So the boys arrived at Brown’s brown house in

Lakewood at 9pm. He went inside by himself and his
dad was home on the laptop on the couch.

Vincent-Hey Brown (Sounding pissed as hell)

Brown-Hey dad, what’s up?

So Brown went to his room and got his backpack out.

He put two pairs of pants, five t-shirts, two
sweatshirts, three pairs of underwear, and two
pairs of socks. He also put a Bob Dylan CD called
No Direction Home. (Pretty fitting for the
situation we were in.) Also he threw his IPod and 2
copies of his bands CD This Isn’t It in the bag of
goodies too.

Brown-OK, I’m leaving Dad, see you later.

Vincent-What? You better be home by 9:30 or I’m

going to take that fucking car away from you. I’m
telling you, if you fuck up again, No More Car!!!
(Peacing the state was what I did after he said
that, pretty funny in my opinion.)

So Brown got out safely from his house and was

trilled with excitement. This was an adventure he
would never forget. He got in his car and his
friends asked him how it went.

Brown-My dad said to be home from 9:30, he’s beat

haha! He won’t see me ever again.

Red and Da Mooch-Hahahaha Vin’s beatzor!

They were all ready to go and headed 10 minutes

away to Blacks house. They arrived and Black came
out of his house and brought the gravity grav. We
had a little sesh and were feeling great talking
everything over.

Black-So where do you guys plan on going?

Red-Philadelphia would be awesome!

Brown-Yea, maybe we can stay at Santo’s old house

since he moved back home.

So they called Samantha to get Da Morman’s number.

At the house they were talking about five 20 year
olds go to college and work there. Samantha was our
buddy that lived in Jackson. Da Morman is chill as
hell. They were unsuccessful with getting hold of
Morman so Red and Brown decided to just head over
there without getting in touch with them.

Da Mooch-Brown, can you drive me home?

(Way to be a pussy after all you said 2 hours ago)

Black and Da Mooch did not want to leave the good
life just yet so they decided to stick around Ocean
County. They still planned to record their newest
CD March 1st.

Before they decided to head out, Brown had one more

thing to do. He wanted to be disconnected
completely and never be tracked by cellular device.
He took his cell phone and said, “Peace Nigga.” He
smashed in the grounded and it made a loud BANG
noise. The phone shattered on the street and
suddenly Brown felt the chains fall right off of
his body. He felt free as a fucking bird. Red did
not have his phone either so they could not get in
touch with anyone or no one can get in touch with
them. They were completely isolated through the
invisible wires of the world. (If you ever lost
your cell phone for a short period of time, you
feel detached from everyone. It’s pretty crazy how
much dependency we all have for cell phones. I
remember just 5 years ago I had no need for it at
all and now I’ve become dependant for it and I
don’t know why. You might feel this way too.)

There was a rush going through Brown’s body and he

felt nothing short of amazing. Brown and Red said
their final goodbyes to Black. It was a touching
moment since they were together practically every
day for the past year and a half. Black walked back
into his humble abode and the Peace-mobile rambled
down the road toward Da Mooch’s box on the planet
Earth.

They dropped Da Mooch off and they went to make a

final stop. They need to stock up on cigarettes and
get some gasoline, Marlboro Menthol and $15 Regular
cash money. (Getting a new pack of cigarettes is
such a good feeling, its just a little box of
sticks but it makes me happy. When it’s new and
fully loaded, anyone who smokes butts will
understand me.)

Finally we were ready to depart our hometown area.

It was about 9:30pm and we pictured ourselves under
the city lights in about 1 hour and 15 mins. It was
such a good feeling. We had the biggest adrenaline
rush, it felt so euphoric.

We lit our butts and headed down Interstate 195

blasting Bob Dylan and laughing our asses off.
Singing “How does it feel, to be on your own, like
a rolling stone.” It felt so good to be living at
that moment. Screaming “When you aint got nothing,
you got nothing to lose.” (Bob Dylan is my hero;
his music moves my soul and his lyrics are so
symbolic to my life. Some people say I look like
him, I actually went around last Halloween in
school with a harmonica and raggedy clothes.)

They we’re flying on the road about 75 mph,

shooting into the darkness. They finished driving
on I195 and traveled down 295 toward Philadelphia.
They decided to put their own 8 song CD on straight
through. They were singing along like never before
barreling through the trees of Western Jersey.

They saw their exit toward the Walt Whitman Bridge.

They got off the exit and paid the $3 toll charge.
The last song on This Isn’t It was on which is
actually called This Isn’t It. It starts out with a
beautiful piano line and singing. The ending has an
amazing solo and they were driving over the bridge
just as that part came on. They saw the millions of
lights across the city. Their dream for the night
came true. It was amazing hovering on the road over
water into one of the biggest cities of America.

The boys got off the bridge and onto one of the
main roads in Philadelphia. They knew our friends
lived on Spruce St. So they found the exit that was
to the Center City. Once they got off the highway
they recognized the area, since they played 2 shows
in Philly during the summer. One of the shows was
at the old Real World House which was awesome
they’re a keg there. The other show was at Chip’s
house, there were about 3 other bands and 2 kegs
their. (I love drinking while playing shows.)

They went from the scenery of a nice nightlife with

stores, bars, and restaurants to the ghetto area
where you don’t feel safe walking after dark. They
lived smack dab in the middle of the hood. Most of
the neighbors were black and they all smoked weed.

The last time we were there at the end of the

summer, we walked wasted about 2 streets to this
Chinese food place. This store is a stoner’s
paradise. They sell cigarettes, blunt wraps,
blunts, aspirin, and candy bars. (What else would
you need?)

Black Man-Yo bitch, get me a pack vanilla dutches.

Wanna-be Black Chinese Dude-I don’t got any bro

Black Man-Why the fuck not? Nigga get me 5 vanilla

dutches.

Wanna-Be Black Chinese Dude-OK homie I got that for

ya.

Black Man-Make it snappy!

(That’s an actually conversation that I witnessed

there.)

The people in the store waiting for their food are

all high as hell getting ready for a munch fest.
They question you if you need a sack.
The store is open till about 3 am in the morning.
(Serving your high needs all night long even later
than fucking Taco Bell.)

(Where the hell was I?)

(I hate to do it, but I got to scroll back up,

BRB.)

Ok, so they arrived at the house they remembered

such good moments at. They previously went on the
roof looking at the amazing skyline felling so
alive to laughing while walking up the creaky
stairs.

They got the courage to get out of our cars and go

up to the flophouse. They had no clue if anyone was
home; it was all up in the air.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Their doorbell was completely shot and non

existent. They noticed their lights we’re on and
the miraculous one foot Christmas tree was gleaming
like the sun.

Left Right, Left Right (We saw a silhouette of a

body walking toward the door.) Left Right, Left

Red-Hey, is Da Mormon here?

Mickey Mouse-He’s at work right now but he’ll be

back soon

Brown-Can we stay in his room and wait for him.

Mickey Mouse-....Yea, sure

They entered into the house and went right up the
two flights of stairs into Chip’s crib. Brown
noticed all the Rubix puzzles. (Have you ever
thought those things were impossible? The Mormon
will blow your mind.) The kid is ridiculous; he has
the most complex little shapes of color. He has
triangles and diamonds that somehow fit together
like a glove. Also he can solve them in no time. He
doesn’t take anytime thinking it through. He knows
the secret of it and it does the unthinkable.

The boys recognized the room and checked out the

DVDs da Mormon had in stock. They picked out Led
Zeppelin live. They tried to work his television
set but it seemed virtually impossible. Someway,
somehow they got the contraption to get going. The
electric guitar of Robert Plant was screaming, the
bass John Paul Jones was bumping, the drums of John
Bottom were pounding, and the vocals of Jimmy Page
were racing my heart. They are just amazing
musicians. They play till their fucking fingers
bleed. (They’re music drives me to be a better
musician.)

The time was ticking as it is now forward in time.

It was a little over 11. They heard a car pull-up
in front of the house. They went on the bed and
looked out the window. It was Da Morman!!

They waited patiently for him to come through the

door. Their anticipation was at such a high level
it was about to explode. They heard the footsteps
going of his soul coming up the stairs. What would
his say when he saw us in his room sitting on his
place of dreaming?

Drum roll please!

Ba-Da-Ba-Da-Ba-Da-Ba-Da-Crash!!!
Viola!

Da Morman came through the door and his eyes opened

wide. He was pleasantly surprised.

Da Morman-Yo dudes, what brings you guys here?

Red-We left our houses for good. Haha

Da Morman-What! Why did you guys do that?

Brown-We just felt it was time to leave so we came

to chill.

Red-Tomorrow we plan on hitting the streets of

Philadelphia and try to find a job.

Da Morman-This is crazy, you guys are out of your

minds.

Brown-Yea, we are. Everyone says that to us. (Our

parents think we need therapy and shit. Laugh out
loud)

Red-Are there any spare bedrooms?

Da Morman-Yea, there’s the one right next to mine.

(The room he is talking about is just about the
size of a closet. There is just a big ole mattress
on the ground and a window. Talk about living
large.

Brown-Do you think we can rent that room out? It’ll

help you guys lower the rent between everyone.

Da Morman-I’d love you guys to stay here, I think

it would be fun as hell! I just have to check with
the rest of the guys to make sure. I’ll ask them
tomorrow. You guys can stay tonight for sure.
Red-Awesome!

Da Morman-So, what else have you guys been doing

besides just moving on the road? Hahaha

Brown-Did you hear our new CD? We recorded it at

Big Blue Meenie in Jersey City.

Da Morman-Nah, I didn’t. I’m really interested. Do

you guys have a copy with you?

Red-Yea, we do. Brown go grab it from your car.

So, Brown went out the front door into the shitty
streets of the ghetto. He unlocked the car and
grabbed his backpack out. Then he locked the door,
because it is not the best area to trust the
neighbors.

Brown pushed the sheet and entered the living room.

There were couches, beer bottles from their New
Years party, and tons of video games. They had a
projection TV that puts the picture on the wall. It
is very interesting and cool. Da Morman and Red
came down the steps and joined me in the room. I
handed Da Morman the CD and he popped it into his
DVD player.

Da Morman was really digging the tunes. He was

tapping along and the whole sha-bang-bang. The
thirty minutes of the music got our appetites
going. Da Morman offered to cook us some food.
(Very nice of the young man.) They took a trip to
the kitchen and checked out what he had in stock in
the fridge. He had frozen pizza for us to feast on.
They popped that sucker in the oven and we’re
munching down.
After the good meal, they started yawning and
feeling on the tired side from the whole journey of
the past 2 days. The boys said “Goodnight,” and
headed into the spacious chamber. They had no alarm
to set since the phones were long gone in Jersey.

Brown-We’re here in Philly!

Red-Yea, we said we were gonna and we stuck to our

word.

Brown-Well, Goodnight dude. See you in the AM.

Red-Night.

Hours and hours fly by while the boys are

unconscious on the mattress. (I wish I could
remember my dreams from that night, because it
must’ve been a really peculiar world.)

The amazing sun woke Brown up and he had no clue

where the fuck he was at first. Then reality set in
and it all made sense to him. He hadn’t talked to
his parents since he peaced at nine the night
before. Brown woke up Red and they both felt
revived and ready to hit the streets of
Philadelphia on the hunt. The hunt for a opening
job.

They both got dressed and opened the door into the
hall. They saw that Da Morman was not there. He’s a
working man. They heard the 40year old virgin
playing his video games on the laptop, blowing shit
up and taking names. (This guy reminds us of the 40
year old virgin. You gotta meet him.)

The boys walked downstairs and out the front door

unnoticed. They hopped in the Peace-mobile and
we’re ready for the task at hand. They lit their
cigarettes up and drove into center city.
It was such a beautiful day despite bitter chill in
the air. They noticed the streets we’re full with
people going to their destinations. They looked all
over for a parking spot. (Man, was that pleasant.)
After about 15 minutes of searching the streets
they found a spot at the corner of Chestnut St. and
9th. They stepped outside and put in an hour and a
half in the meter, it was very cold. It felt like
Antarctica with the cold Arctic breeze on our
faces. There were plenty of places to try and get
jobs at. So they we’re up for anything as long as
they can work together and pay the rent for the
space.

The city was truly amazing; everywhere you look

there would be something cool to freeze your eyes
on. The kids had no drugs at all. (Cigarettes don’t
count, sorry Chaaalie. If you ever been to a place
that you never really been to before you don’t need
any stimulants. You’re just high on life.
Everything looked enormous to our tiny bodies.) The
skyscrapers were so high and it really did seem to
be scraping the hell out of the sky. There were
business men with their suitcases looking
important, women with their babies shopping for the
goods, and us prancing the sidewalk on a Wednesday.

The boys turned the corner and headed up Chestnut

were there were plenty of stores that we’re bound
to have an opening for us. The first stop was
Starbucks. They got a giant thing of water to stay
hydrated.

Red-Are you guys hiring by any chance?

Starbuck-Yea, we might need some people take an

application.

They got pens and started filling out the zeal.

Phone number-That was the first problem we really
did not think over.

There were all these different references and this

other BS to fill out. They we’re stumped. (Just as
Bob Dylan says, “You gotta serve somebodyyyy.” It’s
the inevitable truth for everyone.)

Red-We should just get all the applications we can

get from the day and answer these questions at the
house.

Brown-Good idea, we don’t even know if we can stay

there. It’s up to Mickey Mouse.

Red-Yea hahahah

The boys put the application in their pocket and

headed back into the freezer. They walked about a
block and stumbled upon a Dunkin Donuts. (All of us
know American runs on coffee and Bo Creams. Every
where you are there is a Dunkin Donuts within two
miles away. There’s a public library in the town
over that actually was a church. The funny part is
that from the outside it looks like Mass is being
held but to your and my first surprise they have a
Dunkin Donuts built where the Eucharist once was.
That tells you something about Catholics. Goes to
show you some things fade away, even religion.)

They walked into Dunkin Donuts in Philly, there was

no church building for this one and they asked the
magic phrase of words.

Brown-Hey, Are you guys hiring?

DD-No, No, We are not! (Giving me a very strange

face while she told me.)
So they we’re 1 for 2, and they had a lot more
where that came from baby. They traveled farther
down Chestnut, and stopped into Olive Garden. It
was very dark and mystical in there and it smelled
like fresh baked bread which was nice.

Brown-Hello, Are you guys hiring?

Very Cute Hostess-In fact! We are looking for some

bus boys. Here are two applications; you can bring
them back as soon as possible.

So the boys fled the scene of Italian food.

Brown-That would be pretty mint, Red. Easy Money. I

think we have a chance there.

Red-Mhmm definitely, you wanna go to Borders?

Brown-Might as well, ya know.

Borders was right across the street from them so

they got to the other side and they busted in the
joint. This was a very cool media spot. (I’d love
to work in a place like that.) They jumped on the
line to get their problem solved. Slowly but surely
they made it up to a human with a bald head.

Red-Hey, Are you guys hiring people?

Bald Human-You have to go online and fill out an

application.

Brown-Ahhhh Alright.

Shit, there goes technology fucking us over again.

What happened to pen and paper? It’s just keyboard
and space now. They we’re beat because they were
not going to go online and fill out a stupid
application that they’d never hear back from. So
Borders was out of the question. Oh Well.

They departed the technologically advanced Borders

and it still was cold like it was about to snow.
Still the streets we’re crammed with humans living
their lives.
They spotted FYI, across Broad St. They moved their
bodies over to the music store. Sadly they we’re
beat and could not get become an employee at a job
that would be perfect for music kids.

The boys strutted out onto the shitty sidewalks

covered with gum and cigarette butts. They passed a
couple of homeless folk just trying to keep warm
and not starve to death. (I felt bad because I
didn’t really want to end up like that bruised and
battered on the streets of Philadelphia.)

They found something that made them happy as hell.

It was a giant mall in the buildings. They never
had seen anything like it. (Now I usually can’t
take the mall trying to sell me all this worthless
junk, but this was good because we could look for a
job without getting pneumonia.) Inside the mall was
beautiful, everything was gold and marble.

The boys looked at all the stores and passed em by,

there was Victoria Secret, Gap, Guess and all those
other fancy fuckin designer stores. (I really would
never wanna work in one of them.)

They found an escalator and followed it up. It was

a big ass Food Court. They tried to find a job but
everyone was not hiring anyone. (I guess they
stocked up for the New Year.) They did get one good
thing out of walking in the mall.

(You wanna know?)

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
It was a free sample of some Japanese chicken.
(Mighty good I must say.) Just one though, they
have to try and lure some other people in that are
not broke like us. Behind something good, everyone
has a catch to get the green. People just expect
way too much than they should.

The boys got the hell out of that time hole and
came into encounter with Mother Nature with her
gusty winds, and bitter chill. She was being a
bitch to us and everyone just trying to become
comfortable.

Brown-Shit! I forgot about the parking meter.

Red-Yea, we just totally lost track of time lets

head back.

They walked about 8 blocks to try and beat the

meter, power walking by everyone and their kids.
They saw the car insight and got a joyous feeling
to know they had another 6 or 7 minutes on it.
(Time will play tricks with you and you don’t even
know when. I hate it when people including me look
at my clock often. I try my best to keep the moment
traveling.)

The boys each lit a cigarette to the accomplishment

of about 7 applications to either making coffee, or
cleaning tables, or even selling candy. They decide
to go to another street and get some more
possibilities. (I mean what else did we have to
do?)
They proceeded to Walnut St. and I’ll say 16th.
(Don’t hold me to that but it was around there.)

Brown saw a spot was bitching that he had to

parallel park. When the kid got his driver’s
license he totally fucked that part up. The bitchy
bitch he had for a instructor let him pass and it
made this story possible if you want to trail it
back.

The boys came upon a McDonald’s home of the fat

asses of America. (This McDonald’s was actually
pretty normal to all the ones I’ve been to in my
day.) There must’ve been about hundreds of them
cooking up those Big Macs since the dawn of time.
(In NYC, there is one around every corner, one
floor, two floor, playground and all that jazz.
Today, actually headed there I’ll count how many of
em I spot out with my little eyes. (Five days
later-We went on the train that day and got stuck
in Rahway for two hours. We met up with our buddy
Gary and went to the hookah bar called the Luxor.
We got out of their pretty lighted and tipsy. I
called my buddy who went to video arts school and
met up with him. We had a little sesh by the
waterside while joggers kept traveling by. We then
walked over to this liquor store and got some 40s.
Once we traveled the 40 minutes of walking back to
Penn Station, we had some good luck and hopped
right onto the train. After about 20 minutes of the
ride, we each cracked out 40s open and that was an
adventure in itself baby.)

Back to Earth, in Philly.

The classic background noise of McDonalds’s is so

familiar to me.

(Ey can I get a Big Mac?)

(Fuck I dropped the nuggets)
(Shit we’re out of fries)
(Let me get a Supreme Spicy BQQ Chicken meal)
(Have a nice day)

Red-Do you guys have any applications.

The black boy pointed to a stack of small papers.

It was the smallest but the best application they’d
ever seen. McDonald’s doesn’t give a shit if you
have any education or references, plain and simple
how it should be. They were about to fill it out
right then and there but they waited. (I’d never
thought I’d be in McDonald’s looking for work but
it turns out it’s not as bad as everyone thinks.)

The boys got their shit and peaced the fucked out.
They walked over to Barnes and Nobles. This bum
situation happened.

Bum-Hey boys, you want a $40 gift certificate from

Barnes and Nobles for 20 bucks?

Red-Nah dude

(Why would we need a gift certificate when we were

already running on an amazing budget of 300
buckaroos?)

They saw a pizza place that said in the window

“Need Professional Pizza.” They saw thousands of
pies made right before their eyes while working at
the boardwalk with their buddy Raul. So they
thought they’d see what was up. The dude in the
pizza place didn’t take em seriously, they could’ve
been the best pizza makers to hit the city of
Philly but they didn’t get the time of the big
Italian gentleman.
The boys went into a small café to check out the
scene. There was a woman police officer that was
getting a warm cup of Joe.

Woman-You boys must be cold wearing those rags.

Red-Yea it’s pretty chilly out there.

Brown had some savings bonds from 1991 that he had

to cash in to get some dough. They spotted a bank
that was close to the Peace-mobile and went to the
door. This bank was top notch security, let me tell
ya. Only one person could enter at a time and it
had a red light for you can get in the fuckin bank
and a green light for you to cash your bonds like
Brown did. Brown went up to the teller and handed
her his bonds. Some signatures here and there and
$190 bones was rightfully his. Red and Brown both
grabbed a couple lollipops went lated the bank. The
bank was close to the car and they saw that they
had 20 minutes left.
The boys found another mall in the deep depths of
the city and sucked on a lollipop and went into the
golden mall. The place looked like a palace inside.
There was glare flying all around the room. Besides
the look of the place it was pretty beat inside.

They leave and just hop in to the car. They take

out their 20 something applications sure they will
get a job out of it. They each lit a stooge up and
proceed down Walnut St. The timing was just about
3:30.

The boys had a tight budget but they’re stomachs

were hopping like rabbits. They had a GPS. (That’s
Global Position System for you Amish folk. They can
actually track exactly in the world that you are
located. This machine tells you how fucking fast
you’re going and can send you anywhere you want to
go. Can you say Big Bro?) Brown set it when he was
driving to find the closest super market around his
global position.

They were on their way down the busy streets of

Philadelphia after about thirty block and two
lefts. They stumbled upon a Pathmark. Ironically
enough this was where our friend Samantha
previously worked to make his living in this city.
(That is the proof that you can work a steady easy
job and stay alive. Most people think if you don’t
go to college you’re going to suffer. As long as
the music is moving through me I’ll be just fine.)

The boys turned into the place and found a spot out
front. They went in through the automatic doors.
(You know that chill that goes down your spine when
you enter a supermarket, that’s what we felt.) They
had a tight budget and planned on spending less
than 10 dollars and enough food to carry their
hunger for a day or two.

The kids remembered not too long ago that when they
used to record in Jersey City that they would get
some classic peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and
six packets of Oriental Ramen noodles. (Very
filling stuff if you ask me.)

They walked through all the isles looking for the

stuff they needed to survive. They pointed out to
each other all the different people they noticed
out and we’re cracking up. LOL, LMAO, and ROFL too.

The boys got their 5 star meals and paid at total

of $7 George Washingtons for their goods. They got
in the car lit a butt and headed back to home base.

The boys found a spot right out front. They walked

up to the door; it was still cold as the North Pole
out.
Knock!

Knock!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nothing, no one was home. (Great)

They decided to go back to the car and wait till

someone will get home. The time was 4:30. They
munched down on three slices of plain white bread
to solve their hunger problem. After they ate, Red
passed the hell out in the car. Brown locked all
the doors because he did not trust the area one
bit. He found a book in his car called, The
Stranger.

The book was very interesting and gripped the boy.

It was about a French guy that’s mom dies and he
goes to the funeral and smokes cigarettes along the
road. Just about after twenty pages in, Brown
noticed the sunlight that he had not to long ago
was going away. The moon was slowly floating up and
the streetlights flickered on in unison.

Red got his conscious back and his body arose. We

both felt it was time to check and see if anyone
came home to the house while we we’re busy with our
business.

Knock!

Knock!

(Wanna know what happened?)

The 40 year old virgin saved the night. He got up
from his video game session. He must’ve dreaded
that. He got us into the house and the boys felt a
lot more comfortable in the warm toasty inn.

40 Year Old Virgin-Ermm..hey guys

Red-What’s up

40 Year Old Virgin-Uh, nothing much. What about you

guys? (Sounding very excited about living and very
interested in what was up with us. Is there
anything actually going on when anyone asks what’s
up? Everyone just responds back the classic
“nothing.” We should ask some other question with a
better fucking answer. That’s it! I just think it’s
because we so use to saying it. No one realized how
funny and pointless it can be.)

Brown-We just got some applications to find a job.

40 Year Old Virgin-Don’t you guys still go to

school?

Red-Nahh dude, we dropped out and left our homes.

His jaw must’ve dropped in his head. This kid is

studying to be a doctor and is almost done with
college.

40 Year Old Virgin-Oh really? Why’d you do that?

Brown-We just wanted to get away from all the

stress of it all.

40 Year Old Virgin-Hmmm I see, I’m actually going

back to school when college is done.

Red-Oh cool, well good luck with that bro.

After this conversation in the kitchen, they showed
him their band’s CD. They all sat comfortably in
the dark lounge. The music was blasting just like
it did last night with Da Morman. Brown and Red
we’re tapping to it but the 40 year old virgin sat
quietly and still. After the 30 minutes of music
euphoria he actually said something and proved to
use that he was not dead.

40 Year Old Virgin-Sounds solid guys, really.

(Great words of wisdom from the man of few words.)

The boys remember that they got food. Both of them

made a bowl of ramen and a PB and J sandwich. (That
hit the spot at the moment.) The food took about 3
minutes to make and was in their tummies as fast as
you can say Hootie Blootie.

Brown remembered the chaos that must have been

going on at his hometown. His parents must’ve
killed themselves by now and everyone would be
worried sick. He just went with the moment that he
was in.

Da Morman just came home from work after their

filling dinner. He just came home from working at
the cell phone company. He works all day being a
salesman helping people get on the charts with a
piece of metal. He enjoyed it while he did so I
can’t hold that against the boy. (It’s making me
laugh that I never put two and two together. He
could’ve helped me and Red get a phone and be
connected. We didn’t want to at the time so that’s
why it never happened it was nice being away from
it all.)

(It reminds me of the summer of last year I went to

the Poconos with a few friends. We would just chill
by the fire while the river flew in front of us
under the starry night. We had a butt in one hand
and a beer in the other. We cooked food by the fire
and I lived as simply as I ever did. I know what
Thoreau was talking about when he went to Walden.
It’s always good when you and someone realize
something that is amazing.)

So Da Morman came into the house hold and they

we’re so glad to see him and tell him about our
busy day. They showed him the pile of applications
about a foot high. He was amazed at our production
for the day. Sadly, he had some bad news for us
too.

Da Morman-Guys, I talked to the other guys and they

don’t like the idea that there are dropouts living
here. You guys can stay for a couple of days till
you find a new place. You can look on
craigslist.com

So that’s what they did. They crowded around the

beaming color picture and went onto the Internet.

This is what was typed in by Da Morman

http://www.craigslist.com

We got on the site and it had everything you really

needed or want whoever you are; housing, jobs,
auditions, guys, girls, and even some prostitutes
for all those you rich horny bastards.

Anywhere in American too, you just click the place

and it will hook you up. Da Morman clicked
Philadelphia and there were plenty of listings.
None of them seemed to spark to them; they just got
off the site. Moving in with 5 people, that you
don’t know is sort of sketchy and weird.

The boys took their eyes off the intriguing screen

and went downstairs to the video game room. They
put in Guitar Hero 3. (Today the kids are playing a
plastic guitar that really can’t take you anywhere
but your room. If you got some coordination and
rhythm you can pretty much be good at it.)

The first game was Brown vs. Da Morman on Welcome

to the Jungle on Expert. Da Morman was shredding he
barely missed a goddamn note. Brown was doing
decent but not nearly as good as Da Morman. They
played a couple of rounds switching off with Red.
Their hands started to kill them and their eyes
were flashing they desperately needed a break.

The boys went into the kitchen and found a ¼ full

keg of beer that was leftover from their pre New
Years Eve party. The guys at the house have a party
the day before news years because everyone already
has plans for new years.

The boys took a cup and starting drinking the skunk

brew. It wasn’t too bad, they just wanted to get
fucked up since they could stay their anymore.
(Might as well go out with a bang if you ask me.)

Red and Brown took the cups and went into the TV
room and we all wanted to watch some Spinal Tap. (I
believe that anyone that plays in a band should see
this movie.) They were all cracking up at the movie
and having a good time. They kept getting another
refill and that made things even more hilarious.
The movie was coming to an end and it was about 12
o’clock. They were all pretty beat and needed some
rest from the long winding day. Da Mooch went up to
his lair and the boys went to their comfy closet.

Red passed out in no time. Brown wasn’t feeling too

hot, he couldn’t get into the dream world. He
started to get feelings and thoughts about being
home. After a while the beer was digesting and he
started feeling dizzy. All the sudden! Spew! Ugh!
There was a pool of ramen noodles and beer all over
the floor next to the mattress. This woke Red up
and he went to the bathroom to help me clean up our
little mess. (This was my highlight of our little
adventure and it was the climax.)

The boys tried to pass out again but they could not
do it. After about 20 minutes and the smell of
throw up was dancing through out the room. Brown
took another heave and got sick again. He ran to
the bathroom and got some toilet paper. (Perfect to
clean up a mess eh?)

Brown-Fuck this dude, I feel like complete shit. I

wanna go home.

Red-Yea, I agree. Let’s go back; we can sleep at my

house.

The boys got their belongings and sneaked down the

stairs while leaving a ramen noodle lake on the
floor. They got out of the house and hopped into
the car.

Vroomm!

The clock read 2:34 AM.

Brown was feeling sort of woozy and decided to move

the car. There was complete silence for the time
being. (Sitting in complete silence can be
necessary to soak in nature and the moment. This
was one of those times.)

The streetlights we’re doing their jobs by lighting

up the street and the road. They traveled through
the hood and into the center city. They went onto
the Ben Franklin Bridge crossed into the Garden
State. The boys got onto I-295 and were feeling
good and needed to get something to drink. They
were dehydrated like they had been traveling in the
barren desert for days.

They saw a sign for a Dunkin Donuts and they got

off Exit 30 to get there. Luckily the place was
just down the road. Brown pulled his car in and
jumped out of the car. Red soon followed.

The boys picked out Orange Gatorade to get those

electrolytes. (Gatorade really saves the day when
you’re fucked up.) Brown gave Red his money and ran
out of the store. BLAHHH! He puked all over the
sidewalk moat outside of the place. After that he
ran into the car. Red came out with the liquids in
the bottle and came into the car laughing.

Red-OMG, I just puked all over the fucking bathroom

on the floor and shit. Haha

Brown-Yea, did you see my artwork out front?

Red-Yea, we’re in bad shape. I can’t wait to get

home.

Brown-Amen to that.

The boys shredded the fucking palace of Dunkin’s

Donuts at 3AM. (That’s what they get for not hiring
in Philly.)

The boys each cracked their drinks open and it

rushed down their throats like a river flowing into
a tributary.

They drove back on the highway and the markers of

the miles flew by. It seems like forever, time was
going as slow as it possibly could. They were
traveling into the darkness to their home.
Brown-Yo, can you take over driving once we get on
I-195.

Red-Yea sure, you want me to drive right now?

Brown-It’s alright, I can drive these last 10

miles.

So they got off the Exit to Shore Points. They

drove on the highway for about two miles and they
had to pull over and stop. Brown opened the door
and BLAHHHHHHH!!! The orange Gatorade he just drank
was upsetting his stomach. He switched sides with
Red got to relax without paying attention to where
he was driving. Red was driving pretty fine and
soon enough after 30 miles they got off Exit 31A to
get to Brick.

The boys finally were in their hometown area. They

traveled through the winding roads of Howell and
got into Brick. After about five minutes they
arrived right in front of Red’s house. They were
tired and desperately needed some rest. Red turned
the car off and the lights and they got into the
home. (We were so beat it’s hilarious.)

Brown ran downstairs to get some water and he felt

his stomach jumbling and BLAHHHH! All in the
trashcan. (I didn’t even know why I kept throwing I
was getting sick but it was hard to control.) They
heard soft quant footsteps coming down the newly
carpeted floor.

Ann Marie(Red’s Mom just if you were wondering)-Red

whats going on?

Red-Brown, isn’t feeling too good.

Ann-Marie-Alright, we’ll talk in the morning.

She ascended upstairs to get her rest. She was
definitely glad to see her boy home just she was
too tired to snap back into reality fast enough.
(That’s why kids hate school, when you have to be
woken up prematurely and take a ride to the big
house. You have to move from the dream world to the
real one in the span of 10 seconds. Now that can
really start your day off to a good start.)

Brown stopped heaving in the little trashcan next

to the fridge full cold Orange Crushes. He was
thankful that the God awful dry-heaving had seized.

The boys walked up the 30 something stairs to the

upper level of the shelter.

Red-You can take the guest bedroom.

Brown-Alllllrrright (With drool falling down his

face)

(I was a great guest for the night, a little thrown

up here and there and I met the requirements.)

Red passed out cold or that’s what’s said to have

happened. Brown walked in through the door and he
felt like he just entered the Coral seas of the
Caribbean in the middle of the night. The walks
were teal and turquoise, the sheets were teal and
turquoise and the pillow sheets were teal and
turquoise.

He needed to drown in the ocean to pass out of

reality. There were many times when he felt his
stomach rumbling and thought of the bad things but
he overcame it and dreamt the night away.

The sunlight made him feel like he was outside and

the reflected white light surroundings. It must’ve
been around 10:30AM. He went and took a leak and
looked in the mirror. He couldn’t recognize himself
for a second. He had a classic case of bed head and
walked downstairs through the dead house.

He though he would come to his fears and call his

home. He was back in his hometown so it was
inevitable to go back. (I was actually pretty
nervous but I knew it would have to happen sooner
or later. (I peaced the town without telling my
parents where I was. The blame game can go in any
direction.)

Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
.
.
.
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
.
Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Beep!

BaaaaDaaaaaaaaDaaaaa!

BaaaaaDaaaa!

Maria-Hello?
Brown-Hi Mom.

Maria-Louis! Where the fuck have you been?

Brown-I’m coming home.

Maria-Alright. (Thankful I was alive and well.)

Click!

He arose to wake up Red.

Brown-Yo dude wake up!

Red-Yo man morrrrrning.

Brown-I got to go home, it was a great time while

it lasted.

Red-Definitely! I’ll talk to you later.

Brown went out to the sunny day and entered his

car. He lit a cigarette and put some tunes on for
the ride. (All I was thinking about is what my
parents were going to say.)

After about 10 minutes into the roadside driving he

passed a cop in his hometown. Red’s mom told them
the day before there was a nation wide search for
them. He just drove by regular as hell and nothing
happened the cop just proceeded with his duty to
the public. (Can you believe that? Even when the po
po are out looking for you on a nationwide search
they can’t find ya. They can’t touch ya. You just
float right under the radar with ease.)

Brown drove through the dirty streets of his

hometown Lakewood. After he passed that area he ran
into Jerusalem. There were Jews everywhere, on
every corner and in every car. (Mine friend once
said when you start seeing the Jews you’re close to
Brown’s house. Lakewood must have the most people
per square mile; the Jews just keep cramming into
the town like fucking sardines in hope for their
Savoir.)

Brown soon arrived in front of his house hesitant

to go in. He built up enough courage to enter his
house. He opened the door and walked up the stairs
and heard his mom call his name out.

Brown told his mom where and he was the past days.
She was mad that he didn’t keep in touch at all but
was thankful he was safe. Brown was laughing at the
whole situation. His mom thought he was crazy,
insane in the head. (I think that is hilarious, my
parents thought I was crazy, just because I laugh
at the whole story. I had a great time. She must’ve
wanted me to be crying my eyes out for my mommy.
That’s the last thing I would be doing.)

So after about ten minutes my mom had to call the

pigs back and tell them I was found. Soon after
that a woman police officer came to his house. They
had to get visual proof that my existence was still
intact.

Police Bitch-What is your name?

Brown-Lou Carrao

Police Bitch-Where were you at?

Brown-Philadelphia

Police Bitch-Did you know what you did was wrong

and illegal?

Brown-Yes (I went along with it so she would leave

asap.)
She did just that. She got in her cop car and went
on protecting the streets by stuffing her face with
donuts.

Brown’s mom though he was insane in the brain. He

was just laughing at the whole situation. (I
thought it was humorous, she thought I need to be
taken to a psychiatrist. Fuck that!)

Brown’s parents called all his friends and instant

messaged all his buddies on his list to ask where I
was. People thought it was Brown asking where he
himself was. (Talk about privacy.)

Brown talked to all his friends and they were very

happy to know that he was back home. (I was happy
to be back too. Some people heard that I was in
Canada some people heard I was in New York.
Everyone wanted to hear my story but I really did
not want to explain it to everyone. It can get
pretty annoying after a while.)

His amigos thought that he would be grounded for a

lifetime. They thought he would be stuck home
watching the TV on the comfy couch, while the
parties and the laughs were going around town. The
dust settled down like it always does. It actually
went faster than usually. (You have to break
parents in if you want to get anywhere. People
really don’t stay mad at others most of the time
unless someone kills someone, that’s something I’ve
learned in my days. Just like this as a matter of
fact. I got my car taken away for about a week and
things went bad to normal.) That is where the story
is cut off.

After about 3 months, it feels like it never

happened since the future keeps moving on forever.
This story is true all the way through. I wanted to
make this so I can have personal memory and also
for people to get a good laugh out of it. I hope
you did.

We were them and they were us. Don’t let anyone

stop your dream and don’t let any beat you. We had
the dream to go to Philly and we made it possible
in real life. I don’t regret the whole experience
one damn bit.