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Ugliness vs. Beauty

The definitions that I have of beauty and ugliness have changed as I have

experienced more and more in my life. My first definitions of beauty and ugliness were

based on physical aspects. I considered people beautiful if they were pleasing to look at.

They should be an average height, weight, and size. More importantly, the way people

looked was the most important factor. There was a guy that I met either in the third or

fourth grade who looked good. His hair always stood up with gel in it. He was a little

taller than me and always wore fashionable clothes. The thing that I admired him the

most was the shape of his body. He was physically built, and could do more than fifty

push-ups at one time. He was an example of a good looking guy.

In most movies or fairy tales, good people are usually good looking, and evil

people usually look ugly. Even though they behave well, that might be their disguises

because their natures are evil. The picture book Snow White is one of the examples. As a

child, by just looking at the pictures in the book, I knew that Snow White was a good

person because she had a decent look, in fact, a beautiful look. Compared to her, the

witch was definitely an evil person because she was ugly. Before my last year in

elementary school, that was the way I judged a person. Unlike my peers, I did not want to

be friends with an ugly person.

Because I was a short strong kid, I did not like physically ugly people, especially

big fat kids about my age. People always teased me on my size, which made me furious

at big kids. When my relatives got together on special holidays, my cousins and nieces all

came to my house. In terms of age, I was the second oldest among my five cousins and

four nieces, but I was the shortest among them. My uncles and aunts always said I needed
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to consume more calcium. Being small was not a very big deal for me; however, the fact

that they constantly compared me with their sons and daughters really annoyed me.

Big fat kids were a foil to my smallness. Therefore, I hated them. When I first saw

Kevin who was gigantic in fourth grade, I disliked him because of his size. I especially

hated the thick and big glasses he wore all the time. He looked very clumsy and fat to me.

When he walked around in the classroom, I felt there was an earthquake going on. I

thought he was the ugliest person I had ever seen and he should be sent away from earth

right away. Even though he was ugly, I did not think he was evil. I did not know why

other kids in my classroom did not seem to dislike him. Based on my definition, my

friend should have had an average weight. Kevin treated me well and had never done

anything wrong to me. However, he did not qualify to be my friend because of the way

he looked.

However, the way that I judged a person slowly changed as I learned more from

books and as I experienced more. I still remember that I learned something about Martin

Luther King, Jr. which influenced me. There was a translated version of his great speech

in Chinese. He said something like people should not judge others by the way they look,

but should be concerned about the things they do. When I first read his famous words, I

only understood some of them. However, I learned that people’s true characters had

nothing to do with their beauty and ugliness. I truly experienced this with the

unforgettable event that happened between me and Kevin.

I had been immature, mean, and disrespectful to him throughout our elementary

school years. Still, Kevin always greeted me with a smile when he saw me in the

classroom in the morning. However, I did not respond or say anything to him and just
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nodded my head unwillingly. Even though I treated him badly, he never stopped treating

me nicely. The most horrible thing I did to him was during the midterm we had before the

final exam. During the midterm, I finished my exam and double checked my answers

twenty minutes before our papers got collected. While my calculator sat on my desk

freely, Kevin whispered to me if he could borrow it. I peeked around and discovered that

everybody was busy with theirs. I was the only one with a free calculator; however, I

responded to him that I was still using it. Then, I saw a disappointed look on his face.

Without asking me for it again, he tried to use his pen to calculate the large numbers. At

that time, a strange happiness invaded me because it was a perfect time to get him into

trouble. If he screwed up the midterm, I would feel happy. I pretended that I was busy by

hitting the buttons on my calculator randomly and writing down answers on my paper.

When the teacher went around and collected papers, I saw a desperate look on his face,

which made me feel satisfied.

Things happened ironically. Kevin forgot to bring his calculator during the

midterm, and I forgot to bring mine during the final. The difference was that I did not let

him borrow my calculator during the midterm, but he let me borrow his during the final

exam. Before Kevin lent me his calculator, I had been staring at the three digit numbers

on the final exam, and my body temperature had increased. I attempted to calculate these

equations without using a calculator; however, I failed to do so because it was too

complicated and time-consuming. When I saw my classmates busy pressing numbers on

their calculators and writing down answers, my body felt hotter and hotter. I sat there for

ten minutes without doing anything in the last section on my exam. When I looked at my

watch, I had thirty more minutes before the end of the exam. I felt restless as I listened to
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the clicking sound of my watch and the sound of others writing. With my two hands on

my plastic pen, I did not even notice that I was bending it until my teacher announced to

the class that the exam would end in twenty minutes. When I was about to give up, Kevin

put his calculator at the edge of his table and signaled me to grab it. His kind offer made

me feel embarrassed and regretful.

I still took his calculator without saying anything. I looked at my watch again, and

I had exactly twenty minutes to finish my last eight questions. I realized that I could only

spend two to three minutes on each question. When I finished the first three questions,

there were only five minutes left. There was no way that I could get them done on time. I

had to figure out a way to get them done. Finally, I peeked at Kevin’s answers. He

probably knew that I had not finished my questions yet, so he put his answer sheet at the

edge of his table. It took me about ten seconds to copy his answers. When the exam was

over, I said thank you to him, which was the first time. After this event happened, I told

myself to treat Kevin as my real friend.

The next day, I got my final exam back. Most of the answers that I copied from

Kevin were wrong. I had assumed that he had treated me well because he wanted to win

my trust. However, his real intention was to screw up my final exam by providing me the

wrong answers. There was no way that he would lend me the calculator after I had treated

him badly. At that moment, I really wanted to jump on him in class right away. However,

I kept myself calm. I had to wait until the end of the school day.

As soon as the bell rang and the last class ended, I packed up my stuff and left the

classroom quickly. Kevin probably knew that I would take care of him after school, so he

might have left the school faster than I did. I rushed outside and waited for him at the
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opposite side of the school entrance. I cracked my fingers as I watched the other students

leaving. As soon as I saw him walking out of the school entrance, I cracked my fingers

and rotated my arms again. I put down my school bag on the ground and ran to him

furiously. When he saw me, he said “Hi…” I jumped and punched him right in the face.

He felt surprised by my punch, and his tears began to fall down. I became angrier when

he acted innocent. As he was asking me what had happened, I punched him right in the

nose. Blood ran out of his nose, and he began to cry. I felt pretty scared because I did not

mean to hurt him as bad as it happened. As I stopped and felt guilty, he kicked my

stomach as hard as he could with his right leg. He usually seemed clumsy to me.

However, when he fought, he was no longer clumsy because his kick was fast. At that

time, I cried too because his kick really hurt me, and I could scarcely breathe. The lunch

that I ate two hours ago was about to come out of my mouth, and I tried hard to prevent

myself from vomiting.

My math teacher, Scott came and ended the fight. He dragged the two of us back

into the school and locked us in two separate rooms. From the window, I saw Kevin

wiping his tears and blood. I came closer to the window and told him to never dare set me

up again. As he was wiping his mixture of blood, snot, and tears on his cheek, he asked,

“What do you mean I set you up?” I replied, “The last five questions on the exam, you let

me copy the wrong answers.” “I do not ask you to copy mine, and I got them wrong too.”

I screamed, “Liar, you made up some answers. After I copied them, you erased and

corrected them!” He screamed backed, “I didn’t!” As he was saying these two words, he

pulled his exam out from his bag and showed me. At that time, I knew that I had been
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wrong about him the whole time. I had misunderstood him and had blamed him for my

unexpected score.

Despite his physical appearance, Kevin’s generosity and kindness showed the

genuine beauty of his character, and impulsiveness and violence showed the ugliness of

mine. Since this event happened, I no longer judge people based on their physical

characteristics. I make friends with all kinds of people regardless of their height, gender,

weight, and nationalities. Now, the way that people look does not prevent me from

making friends with them.