solo travel | real life

Going it alone

“I was in a rut with my social and personal life. The thought of winter in the UK
seemed unbearable and I’d bored myself and my friends for long enough about
‘going travelling’. It was time to go it alone…” Words & photographs by Meera Dattani

A one-woman show
It was summer 2000 and Bob
Marley was playing on a stereo on a
hostel rooftop terrace in Jerusalem.
I was on a two-week backpacking
trip around Israel with three
girlfriends and we were chatting to
a girl on her solo, round-the-world
trip. If I had to pin it down to one
moment, this is when the idea was
planted in my own head.
It seems hard to believe now that
I was apprehensive about three
days on my own in Jaffa, Tel Aviv’s
old town, at the end of that trip. But
the company of strangers, with no
need for itinerary nor compromise,
proved to be a short-but-sweet
taster of travelling alone. I’d have
done anything for an ash cloud
or snow-clogged runway to have
delayed my return.
Strangely, it was some years later,
2003 to be precise, before I acted on
any ideas. I’d been freelancing as a
writer for a year and planned a two-
month trip to India, visiting family
in Mumbai before travelling around
Goa and Karnataka, some of it with
a friend. However, I found it difficult
to work and travel with company,
feeling I was missing out when I
had to write, and it wasn’t until >>

Mar/Apr 2011 | National Geographic Traveller 161

 real life | solo travel
November 2004 that I decided to
try it alone.
It had been a depressing couple
of months, as while freelancing
was going well, I was in a rut with
my social and personal life. The
thought of winter in the UK seemed
unbearable and I’d bored myself
and my friends for long enough
about ‘going travelling’.
I was keen to return to Thailand
after an excellent holiday in 2001,
I’d heard Vietnam was ‘up-and-
coming’ and with two work friends
now in Australia — one getting
married in March 2005 — I planned
a month down under, visiting Clare
in Melbourne before a road trip to a
friend’s wedding near Queensland.
Walking out of STA Travel with
my flights booked was as close
to an out-of-body experience as
I’ve ever known. I hadn’t exactly
planned this trip and it being
November, it made sense to leave
soon. In less than four weeks, I’d
land in Bangkok with no schedule,
no obligations — one man’s
nightmare I imagine was another
woman’s dream. Up until then,
I’d been carving out a career in
online journalism and I’d decided
to finance my trip as I went along,
writing features from internet
162 National Geographic Traveller | Mar/Apr 2011
cafes. Converted into Thai baht and
Vietnamese dong, it would keep
me afloat, any surplus covering the
more expensive month in Australia.
Friends and family were
supportive, excited and worried in
various measures. The short run-up
to my departure was a blessing,
the month hurtling past in a blur of
vaccinations, leaving do’s, shopping
for seemingly essential travel
gadgets, most of which I ignored,
and even my first work press trip.
Ironically, as life often is, it was in
this period that I met someone,
but at such early stages under
these circumstances, there was a
mutual understanding that what
would be, would be.
Leaving was always going to
be riddled with mixed emotions,
excitement and happiness given a
reality check by their evil cousins,
nausea and fear. Although generally
a self-contained person, I was
anxious about saying goodbye,
especially to my parents, whose
concerns about me travelling solo
were obvious. I’m someone who
rarely cries in front of others and
both were taken aback when I
broke the habit of a lifetime.
Even so, arriving at Bangkok
Airport with only one night’s
accommodation booked
felt exhilarating — my only
commitment was a Bangkok-
Melbourne flight three months
later. I’d decided to head north
to Chiang Mai, back to Bangkok,
then Ko Tao island for Christmas. I
felt a huge sense of achievement
and pleasure in the simplest of
things — sitting in a Bangkok travel
agency, boarding the sleeper train,
hearing the carriages rattle through
the night, sharing food with a Thai
family, the so-called ‘bed’ which
gave me backache and the scenery
that made me forget it. My time in
Chiang Mai also set a precedent. A
vague plan to spend five days in this
laid-back city quickly evaporated
— it was over two weeks before
I left, a pattern often repeated.
This level of control over my own
happiness was instantly addictive.
I’d decided to take a proactive
approach to meeting people,
honing my instinct on who did and
solo travel | real life
From left: Meera and friend in La Boca,
Buenos Aires; trekking in Torres del Paine
National Park in Chilean Patagonia
I discovered the enormous part people played in any experience. I often spent relationship. Kanchanaburi by the
River Kwai, typically visited as a day
lengthy spells in the most unlikely spots because of the company and often, a
trip, was a 10-day stint for me as I
mini relationship. Kanchanaburi by the River Kwai, typically visited as a day embraced the slow pace of life, the
history of the area and sunset beers
trip, was a 10-day stint for me, as I embraced the slow pace of life, the history
with new friends at the Jolly Frog
of the area and sunset beers with new friends. Backpackers.
Time passes slowly, in a positive
sense, in this bubble. Two weeks,
didn’t want to be approached its penchant for playing Puff the acquaintance, Alberto, worked as each day so different from the
and also learning to enjoy time Magic Dragon on a loop, became a dive instructor. It was a pleasure previous, felt like a month, whereas
on my own when company was my haven, its Thai owners often to renew a friendship after three a fortnight in London would whizz
scarce. Beginner’s luck played inviting me to family meals. It was years and to be with someone who past without my realising. I couldn’t
its part, too, when I struck up a hard to believe that a week ago, already knew me, although I initially believe when my two months in
conversation with a fellow female I was living in a London suburb. missed the city buzz and found Thailand were over, but the month
traveller (Nicole) on my first But it wasn’t always fun and island life too quiet. People said in Vietnam was equally memorable
attempt. She was heading home my diary reminds me of the Christmas would be the toughest and happily interrupted by a most
to Melbourne the next day, but it lowest moments. One particularly period, but as it turned out, I spoke unexpected visitor.
was on her last night and my first miserable evening, after eight to more friends and family during A friend had decided to spend
that I met many of the people I’d hours working in an internet cafe this time than I have at any other her surprise bonus on a two-week
spend much of my time with in and company in short supply by point in my life. As news of the holiday to Vietnam around my
Thailand (even seeing Nicole again night, was the day my university devastating Boxing Day tsunami birthday, if I was game. I explored
in Melbourne three months later). friends were meeting for our hit home, I was fielding calls, texts alone the capital Hanoi with its
In fact, Chiang Mai was a Christmas get-together and I and emails from almost everyone honking scooters, took a boat cruise
series of firsts — first motorbike tortured myself playing the ‘time I knew. That I was on the opposite to Halong Bay and took the sleeper
ride and elephant trek, Buddhism difference game’ until it was over. coastline came as welcome news, train south to the historical towns
explained by a gentle-mannered Those times were rare, but painful but their emotional messages also of Hue and Hoi An, in preparation
monk, a date with a fireman from enough to make me question what served as a heartening reminder for a heady fortnight with Jo on the
Utah to a Thai boxing match I was doing alone on the other side of what I had back home. beaches of Nha Trang and Phu Quoc
— and often, like the go-go girls’ of the world. Email and instant chat I discovered the enormous part Island, enjoying city life in Ho Chi
bar, both a first and last. I’d also were my saviours — I knew almost people played in any experience. Minh City and learning war history
found a home-from-home in any time I could contact someone. I often spent lengthy spells in the at the Cu Chi Tunnels.
my garden bungalow at Tawan So I was glad to be spending most unlikely spots because of Leaving South-east Asia and
Guest House, which aside from Christmas on Ko Tao, where an old the company and often, a mini saying goodbye to Jo marked the >>
Mar/Apr 2011 | National Geographic Traveller 163
 real life | solo travel
end of an extraordinary three
months. I couldn’t wait to see my
friends in Australia and was excited
about the wedding, the Byron Bay
road trip and my final solo stint in
Sydney. But I knew Australia was
an altogether more recognisable
world and it was the colour,
chaos and culture of Thailand and
Vietnam which had brought out
the freer spirit in me.
The last night of a long trip is
a headspinner, but ending on a
high helped. I’d made good friends
in Sydney — staying in the same
hostel for a fortnight had resulted
in another home-from-home, yet
one flight away was a life I felt so
far removed from.
Seeing friends and family again
was wonderful and initially the only
good thing about returning. But I
realised how hard it was to capture
such a long, packed experience. I
now appreciate life doesn’t change
much in four months for the
average person, myself included,
but at the time, mine had and I was
almost too overwhelmed to tell
the tale. In many instances, it was
easier to talk about the life we both
knew, friends, work, family, rather
than the hilarious poker night
on the Halong Bay cruise or the
kookaburras waking me up while
camping in Australia.
The initial comedown was more
brutal than I’d expected and the
day-to-day isolation of working
Meera and a friend in Ho Chi Min City
164 National Geographic Traveller | Mar/Apr 2011
from home challenging. The
relationship started before the trip
was briefly rekindled, but eventually
became friendship. In fact, it was
imminent bridesmaid duties which
were my saving grace, providing a
welcome, non-work diversion.
It was easy to describe the overall
experience as ‘amazing’, but I’d
learnt not every moment is Bob
Marley on a sun-drenched rooftop.
The times I felt lonely were 10 times
worse than anything I’d felt back
home. No comfy sofa, no TV and no
fridge full of comfort food to raid.
But as the good times were so very
good, knowing I’d got through the
bad was something I was proud
of. I’d proved to myself I could
travel alone, that I could ‘rough
it’, and I’d met remarkable people
across different cultures. I’d also
found a stronger, bolder part of my
personality which had, inexplicably,
required a change of scenery
to release.
Meeting new people — some
quirky, some annoying — many so
engaging I changed my plans, had
also refreshed my own personality,
teaching me what I did and didn’t
like about myself, and improved
my self-awareness. I look back with
affection at them all, from those I
shared uncomfortable bus journeys
and noisy hostels with to the small
handful who became real friends. I
treasure those the most — they’re
the few I can truly reminisce with.
Would I do it again?
Not a week passed when I didn’t
consider taking off again and a
year later, I spent three months
in Spain after an irresistible offer
to flat-sit a beautiful Madrid
apartment. I continued to freelance,
simultaneously reacquainting
myself with Spanish culture, which
had been somewhat neglected
since gaining my Italian and
Spanish degree. Although based in
one place, the break from routine
still offered a sense of freedom
and openness to new people, just
without the transient nature of
traditional travelling.
But my feet required more
scratching and my spark reigniting
and in winter 2008, I left for
Argentina, Chile and Uruguay for
two and a half months. Yet even
then, I remember arriving in Buenos
Aires on a hot, dusty afternoon,
collapsing on a dorm bed and
wondering what I was doing again.
But this time, my trepidation was
short-lived as I knew what lay
ahead. I was writing a travel blog,
I learnt how to horse ride, I cycled
every day for 10 miles in Uruguay’s
UNESCO city of Colonia del
Sacramento and I explored by foot
the sand dunes on the country’s
Atlantic coastline.
I had also booked a group trip
with Intrepid Travel to Argentinean
and Chilean Patagonia, where I’d
hike my first 15-mile-plus trails.
Completing the Torres del Paine
trek in Chile after scrambling over
never-ending boulders, the majestic
peaks towering above me, was
an adrenalin rush like no other.
My time in Argentina was also
enhanced by a surprise visitor,
my friend Maria, her first trip
outside Europe, lured westwards
by the promise of fine steak and
Malbec wine.
It’s natural to have regrets in life,
but I know I’ll never regret any of
my trips. They might not live up to
expectation every moment of every
day, but travelling does wonders for
the soul — I know if I hadn’t gone it
alone, I’ll always wish I had. And if
I had to sum it up, it really was, dare
I say it, quite amazing.
essentials
the details
>> Intrepid Travel has the 10-day Patagonia
Wilderness trip (code GPTU) from £1,995
plus international flights. T: 0203 147 7777.
www.intrepidtravel.com
>> Explore offers the 14-day Torres del Paine
Circuit (code TO) from £2,170 without flights,
from £2,998 including flights.
T: 0845 013 1537. www.explore.co.uk
>> STA Travel. Flight costs vary according to
the time of year and stopovers. A round trip
from London to Melbourne with a Bangkok
stopover costs around £1,000. T: 0871 230
0040. www.statravel.co.uk
>> Also check Trailfinders. T: 020 7292 1888.
www.trailfinders.com
how to do it
>> Find travelling companions and tips on
Lonely Planet’s Thorn Tree Forum:
www.lonelyplanet.com/thorntree/index.jspa
>> If you’re not sure about doing it
completely alone, check i-to-i Volunteer and
Adventure Travel. T: 0113 205 4620.
www.i-to-i.com
>> www.couchsurfing.org brings together
an international collection of travellers
providing free accommodation.
More info
>> Books to read
The Rough Guide to Southeast Asia on a
Budget. RRP £16.99.
Southeast Asia on a Shoestring: Lonely Planet
Shoestring Guide. RRP £16.99.
>> Websites to visit
www.bootsnall.com
www.solotravel.org
www.seat61.com
www.fco.gov.uk/en/travel-and-living-abroad
Check list — before you go
_ Red tape: Passport validity and visa
requirements for each destination
_ Health: Check with your GP and allow
time for vaccinations/boosters
_ Stay covered: Ensure you have
appropriate travel insurance
_ Pack well: Invest in a good-quality
rucksack and a cotton sleeping bag liner
_ Electric charge: Universal travel adapter
_ Shine a light: Small head torch or like
— wind up or solar powered.
_ Take notes: Diary — a great reminder.
_ Get active: Pack hiking boots, thermals, etc.
_ Travel guides: Usually cheaper in UK □