This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes
04/02/11 12:54:31
Table of Contents
1. Chapter 1 ............................................................................................1 2. Chapter 2 ............................................................................................6 3. Chapter 3 ..........................................................................................11 4. Chapter 4 ..........................................................................................18 5. Chapter 5 ..........................................................................................26 6. Chapter 6 ..........................................................................................36 7. Chapter 7 ..........................................................................................55 8. Chapter 8 ..........................................................................................71 9. Chapter 9 ..........................................................................................77 10. Chapter 10 ......................................................................................90 11. Chapter 11 ....................................................................................103 12. Chapter 12 ....................................................................................118 13. Chapter 13 ....................................................................................130 14. Chapter 14 ....................................................................................157 15. Chapter 15 ....................................................................................169 16. Chapter 16 ....................................................................................177
1. Chapter 1
Chapter 10: Outtake, Charlie and Alice APOV "Jazzy?" I called out, through the bathroom door. "Yeah, baby. What's going on?" he asked as he poked his head in, eyeing me up and down in my towel. I smirked at him, and grazed by him closely as I left the bathroom. Plopping onto the bed, I sighed. "I'm worried about Charlie." He cocked his head to the side, in his I'm figuring out your emotions stance and waited for me to continue. "It's just...He needs to go to Bella's. Or he needs to let somebody else go there. I know Renee can't handle it, and Phil wouldn't feel right doing it, really nobody would, but somebody has to. I was watching a show last week about when you leave milk out on the counter too long, and it explodes, and..." "Ali, baby, have you talked to him about it?" I pouted my lips at him. "I've talked to him plenty, he's practically become a second father to me in a matter of days, but I'm afraid to upset him too much. He always changes the subject, or tells me we'll talk about it later. Something else is upsetting him, but he won't tell me what. And I know how I'd normally handle somebody being stubborn, but Charlie's just..." I sighed, not knowing how to explain him. "He's just...Charlie."
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Jasper gave me a small half-smile. "Follow your instincts, baby. You're never wrong." I smirked back at him. "That's what I like to hear." "Talk to him tomorrow," he ordered, as he stalked over to me, unwrapped my towel and pushed me back onto the bed. Okay, Ali, you can do this. You do not fail. You will make this conversation happen. Failure is not an option. I knocked on his door softly. I heard his muffled voice, gruffly call out to enter, so I opened the door quickly, shutting it behind me. "Hey, Charlie." Tossing his phone onto the bedside table, he sighed. "Hi there, Alice. How are you today?" Skipping over to him, I sat beside him on the bed. "Oh, I'm good, I guess. I've decided I'm ready for you to tell me what's wrong, and then I was thinking we could go to Bella's together. I don't think she'd appreciate having to come home to a burned down apartment because she left the stove on or something. Or if her milk explodes." He looked at me tiredly, but confused. "Huh?" "What? Oh, the milk. I watched this show last week, and...Hey, no fair. Don't try to distract me from my task at hand." He huffed through his nose, and turned his face towards the window. "So, you're ready for me to tell you what's going on, huh? Alice, I really appreciate how you all have been there for me these last few days, but I'm really not the type to gab about my feelings and what not. There's really nothing to worry about at all."
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I patted him on the hand, like I would Lily for saying something silly and endearing. "Well, how about you tell me what's going on, and then I'll decide whether or not to worry about it. And don't think I didn't notice how you didn't answer me about going to Bella's. I'll go for you, if you want, Charlie, but I think you should be there." He looked at his phone, as it started buzzing again, and his jaw clenched as it rang. Once it was silent again, his shoulders slumped. Success. "Well, Bella's ex won't quit calling me. He's my best friend's son, and I've known him since he was born. He's just a little younger than Bella, and they've known each other their whole lives. But they haven't even spoken in two years, and he didn't care about her then, and I don't want to hear what he's got to say now." "Why did they break up?" I prodded gently. "He cheated on her, the bastard. And I can't help but feel that this whole mess is my fault." Shocked, I didn't even know how to respond. "What are you talking about Charlie? You think it's your fault he was an asshole and cheated on her, or..." "No! Everything! She should never even have dated him, she never wanted to, but she did it, to make me happy, make Jacob happy. But then he goes and cheats on her, and she lost all her friends, lost her best friend, and she couldn't stand staying in Forks. That's why she came back to Seattle. She lived here while she went to school, but she moved home to take care of me. "She was always taking care of me, taking care of everyone but herself. I left her to herself all the time, going fishing every weekend, working all the damn time, I wasn't a good father to her..." he trailed off, chin quivering.
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Tears filled my eyes as I watched him struggle to maintain his composure. "Charlie, you're not a bad father. You just wanted her to be happy, and you thought he would make her happy. It's not your fault he was a dick. Good riddance, I say. She became a success in spite of him, Charlie. And that doesn't explain how you could possibly think any of this is your fault." "Because it's my fault she was here! If she'd never dated Jacob, she never would have been living in Seattle! And she never would have been at that store." Stroking his arm gently, I tried to soothe him. "Charlie, you can't kill yourself with 'what ifs'. There are so many different variables that you have no way of knowing whether she would have moved here or not. She might have ended coming out here to be closer to her publisher. And it's not your fault she dated Jacob. It sounds like he pressured her too, and you never could have foreseen him cheating on her. You had the best intentions, Charlie, and that shows how much you loved her. You were a good father to her, because you wanted for her to be cared for and cherished, but Jacob abused the trust you placed in him. But you're only human, Charlie, you couldn't have known. "If you don't want to talk to him, I don't blame you. Just keep ignoring his calls, or let me answer, and I'll give him a piece of my mind." He chuckled a bit, smoothing his mustache down. "Don't know if he'd survive an encounter with you, Miss Alice. You're surprisingly vicious for your size." I waggled my eyebrows at him. "I know, right? I kick ass. Now let's talk about going to Bella's." His smile dropped instantly into a scowl. "Like I said. Vicious." I looked at him seriously. "I know it will be hard, Charlie. That's why I'll be there, and Edward could be there, too. He knows what you're going 1. Chapter 1 4
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through, too. We don't have to stay long, just take care of whatever needs to be taken care of," like inspecting her closet "and then we can leave. I'd love to see her place, I feel like we've gotten to know her over the last few days. Plus, she is my favorite author. It would be like, Graceland or something." He smiled proudly at me. "I never thought my little girl would grow up to be such a success." His smile fell, as he continued. "I'm just afraid to see her place without her in it. Don't know if I can take it. She's all the family I've got." I held his hand tightly in mine. "You can take it, because you're stronger than you think, Charlie. Seeing her place empty doesn't mean anything other than she's not there right now, but she will be soon. But you're wrong you know." Furrowing his eyebrows, he asked, "About what?" Throwing my arms around his neck, I whispered softly, "She's not the only family you've got. You're stuck with us Cullens for life now." Hugging me back, I heard him whisper, "We'll go tomorrow after Renee leaves."
1. Chapter 1
2. Chapter 2
Chapter 19: Outtake Bella and Jasper's Conversation JPOV As the door clicked, I observed Bella quietly for a moment. "I apologize for springing the idea of my colleague on you so suddenly. It was never my intention to make you feel like you didn't have a choice." As I'd hoped, my words set her off, and she exploded at me. "Well, how am I supposed to feel? Everyone's dropping their lives to take care of me around the clock, and no one's asked me once how I feel about any of it! I know I sound like an ungrateful wretch right now, and I'm sorry, I really am, but honestly! Ever since I woke up, I've been told where I'll be living, what I'll be wearing, take this medicine Bella, let me take you shopping Bella, this is what you'll be eating Bella, this is who you'll be talking to Bella...I don't want to talk about it! I just want to forget about it and move on! I don't need to cared for like an unstable invalid. I'm not. I've taken care of myself my whole life. I took care of myself when I was stuck in that God-forsaken hellhole and nothing's changed. Nothing!" I listened calmly to her tirade, trying to remember each key point she made. "May I sit, Bella?" "Don't be a smartass, Jasper. You don't need to start asking me before you do every single little thing," she snapped. 2. Chapter 2 6
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I smiled slightly at her. "I was actually just being polite. This is your room, after all." She bit her lip in embarrassment. "Oh. I'm sorry. Please, sit." I moved the chair Lily had been using to the head of her bed and sat down, thinking my next words through carefully. "Were you aware that Lily won't allow anyone to call her 'baby' anymore?" She shook her head, and I saw her look at my face through the corner of her eyes. I nodded, continuing. "It's true. The first time Edward called her that, she froze. The next time, it was Esme, and she almost had a panic attack. She used to call herself 'the baby'. But now...she can't stand it." "James always called her 'baby'," she murmured softly. "I assumed it was something along those lines. That is one small example of how Lily has changed, just in those few short weeks. There are many other subtle differences in her, like how she is able to tune out conversation around her and focus on a task. Her ability to amuse herself quietly. Trust me, that's something she could never do before." I laughed as memories of Lily bouncing as excitedly as my Ali filled my mind. "My point is, is that Lily has changed. Quite a bit. She's young, and her mind is resilient, and I have no doubt she will go on to have a completely normal life. But she is going to have to talk about her experiences at some point. Because if she doesn't the memories will hide themselves in her subconscious, and attack her when she least expects it, in ways she won't be able to guard herself from.
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"What Lily went through was second-hand torture. She knew you were being hurt, yet she could do nothing to stop it. You did an excellent thing in allowing her to know that he was...How did you phrase it? "being mean to you". But you didn't go into specifics, and for that I applaud you. It couldn't have been easy to keep her from seeing what he did to you. "You on the other hand, Bella, received that torture first-hand. We were told by Victoria's brother that she was punished nightly for her 'mistakes'. From what I've heard Lily say, that seems to be the same thing he did to you." She flinched slightly, and I proceeded with caution. "I have no intention to try to get you to talk about any of this with me. Not now, not once we're back at the Cullens. That is if you still want to stay there. No one will force you Bella. You can go back to your own apartment if you prefer, you know that." Her lip trembled. "No, I want to go there. I don't want to be away from Lily. I'm just so up and down, I hate snapping at everyone all the time. I don't understand what's going on in my head. I feel like I should be so happy all the time, but no matter how hard I try to be, I can't help but just cry sometimes. And at night..." she shuddered. She met my eyes for the first time, and hers were shining. "That's why I'd like for you to meet my friend, Siobhan. She has experience with both women and children. She's someone you and Lily could discuss your trauma with, both separately and together. Don't feel like you should be anything other than what you are right now Bella. Let your mind and your body heal at the pace that is right for you. No one can dictate or predict how that will go. I'll talk with Emmett and Alice both, and they'll back off, I promise."
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"No, no, no," she muttered, shaking her head. "Emmett and Alice both just want to help, and they're helping the only way they know how. I get it, I do. I just hate feeling so different from before. I'm taking it out on everyone else, and I'm sorry I'm being such a bitch." "Please. Rosalie's a bitch, and she'd be the first one to tell you that. You are a woman who recently went through a traumatic experience, whose body is still recovering, and is currently being weaned off of very powerful narcotics. If you were all sunshine and smiles, I'd be worried. So bring it on, little lady, we can take it. We're all family now, and you can't get rid of us that easily." A smile broke across her face, and I returned it with one of my own. "I've never had a big family before. It'll take some getting used to." "We've got nothing but time, Bella. What say we ease all the worrying minds outside in the hall?" "Sure. And thank you, Jasper." She truly had no idea how amazing she was doing, how incredible of a person she was to have survived through the horror of James. Lily was the light of all of our lives, and she protected her with the fierceness of a mother lioness for her cub. She was selfless to a fault, and I felt myself as determined as Edward to make sure she returned to normality as soon as possible, although I doubt he saw her as a sister the way I did. "Anytime, Bella." I rose from my chair to open the door, letting our blended family back in, smiling at them in reassurance as they filed back in. Edward looked like he hadn't stopped running his hands through his hair, and I was awed that it hadn't started to fall out yet. He met my eyes, and his grief and shame was palpable. Boy, he's got it bad. 2. Chapter 2 9
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2. Chapter 2
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3. Chapter 3
Chapter 20: Outtake The Fight EPOV As I waited for the elevator to descend, I couldn't stop mentally berating myself for leaving her the way I did. Knowing her, she was probably wondering what she did to make me act like an ass. I needed to get my shit together and stop acting like a seventeen year old boy with no control over his hormones. I stepped out on the bottom floor, deciding against going and finding our family in the cafeteria. Looking down at the completely full and fresh cup of coffee in my hand, I sneered at it, throwing it down unceremoniously into the nearest trash can. Could I have been more obvious? Nothing says 'I need to get away from you' more than a shitty lie. Glancing out the front glass doors of the hospital, I watched the smokers with envy. They have an outlet. I bang my head against a wall and rip my hair out on a daily basis. If my mom wouldn't kill me... So I didn't want to face my family, I didn't need anything to drink, and I just left her there like a complete douche. Why am I still down here? Rolling my eyes at myself, I pressed the up button for the elevator, waiting for one to take me back up to her, so I could try to apologize. 3. Chapter 3 11
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Bella, I'm sorry I can't stop thinking of you in compromising sexual positions with me. Bella, I'm sorry that your beauty distracts me from the fact you are recovering from a trauma. Bella, I'm sorry I'm a moody ass. That one was probably best. The other two would likely get me either slapped by Bella or shot by Charlie. The lift took forever, but I only had two floors to go up to get back to her. I ignored the curious looks from the hospital staff around me as I mumbled to myself and tried to pull my hair out from its roots. I bounced back and forth on my feet outside her room for a moment, before mentally kicking myself in the ass and walking through her door. "Hey Bella, I'm sorry about before, I'm just...Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing in here?" It took my brain all of a second to register the sight of this fucker in front of me, touching Bella, and the utter terror written across her face. Well, I can't touch James, Charlie already got rid of Jacob, looks like I finally get my turn. Rage consumed me, and in one leap I was across the room, throwing him by his shirt back towards the door. "You son of a bitch! What the fuck are you doing in here? What the fuck were you thinking touching her?" He tried to shout back at me, but my vision was red, I was out for blood. Punching and kicking him over and over, I couldn't stop seeing Bella's frightened face in front of me. How many times had she had that same look when James was about to hurt her? I could do nothing then. I could 3. Chapter 3 12
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"Motherfucker! What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you want to fucking die? Aargh!" I screamed in anger as suddenly we were surrounded by people, shouting and pulling us away from each other. I struggled against them, thrashing in their grip, trying to get at him. He wasn't bleeding enough, he was still breathing, he needed to pay. "Edward!" my dad shouted. "What's happening?" "Let me in there! That's my daughter!" Charlie yelled. They tried to no avail to enter the room, the hospital security blocking the doorway, but the guards were downright small compared to my brother, who shoved them away easily, taking in the scene around him. "What the fuck is going on in here?" he bellowed. The idiot fucker obviously thought that since Emmett made it past the other security he was somehow in charge. "That man! I want him arrested! I was assaulted! I'm a member of the free press, and I have every right to be here and ask questions!" he screamed, his voice cracking and nasal, thanks to his now nicely broken nose. Well fucking done, Cullen. I watched with glee as Emmett's face took on the same murderous rage that I felt, and he lunged for him, causing the guards holding me to grab for him, trying to prevent him from causing more damage to the asshole. "Edward! Edward! Bella!" I heard Renee scream, and it shook me out of my red haze long enough to register the shrieking coming from all the women in the hallway. Suddenly the sounds got louder, and I looked 3. Chapter 3 13
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over to Bella's hospital bed where Lily was shaking and sobbing in Bella's chest. Shame hit me as I realized what I had just done in front of my little girl. I was no better than him. Approaching them both slowly, I saw Bella shriek and jump, trying to bat away at something before her eyes, but her eyes weren't focused on the scene in front of her. The guards wrestled Emmett and the intruder out into the hallway, and the room filled with our family and doctors as they tried to assess the situation. "No! No! Help!" Bella cried out, her eyes blinking wildly at a nightmare only she could see. Jasper rushed forward, pushing me towards them. "Edward, get Lily. She's having a flashback." Dr. Smith rushed over, injecting a syringe of Ativan into her IV to try and calm her, but it didn't knock her out like before during her other attacks. This was something much, much worse. Hurrying over to them, I tried to pry Lily away from Bella, but she clung to Bella, and began to scream. "No! No!" Changing tactics, I sat down on the hospital bed with them, trying to frame Bella's face in my hands, but she only panicked more, screaming at the top of her lungs, and clawing at me and my hands. "Oh my God, Charlie!" Renee cried, clutching onto Charlie, and sobbing into his shirt as they watched helplessly while their daughter was trapped in her own mind. I grasped her hands in my own, as tightly as I could without hurting her, and when she paused to breathe, I began trying to talk to her, to bring her back down to earth. 3. Chapter 3 14
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"Bella. Bella. Shh. You're safe. Come back. Come back," I choked, not even realizing I was crying until my voice broke. "We need to clear out of here. The less noise stimulation around her, the better," Jasper ordered, wiping away his own tears as he ushered our crying family members out of the room quietly. Bella began gasping in deep breaths, and when she leaned slightly towards me without struggling, I took it as a good sign, and began rocking her gently. Lily swayed with us, sandwiched between our bodies. "Oh my God, Bella. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, love. You have to come back. Please come back. You're safe. Shh. Shh. Please, love, please. Come back. It's over. Come back." Lily began humming something underneath me, and it took me a moment to recognize the tune. Her small, teary voice rang out in the silence of the room. "All you need is love, All you need is love," I realized this must have been the song Lily told me about, her and Bella's special song, and I joined in quickly, trying desperately to find a way to maintain Bella's growing lucidity as the Ativan began working its way through her system. We sang it together for a moment, and I could see the light come back behind Bella's eyes as she returned to us, the instant she finally recognized where she was. I prayed she wouldn't be afraid of me after seeing what I did to that man, and my fears were multiplied as she ripped her hand from mine. Yet, instead of pulling away from me, she simply threw her arm around Lily, finding comfort in her presence, and giving Lily comfort in return. Trying to control her sobs, she leaned forward into me, and I closed my eyes in relief as I wrapped my hand around her neck, rubbing it softly as I continued swaying us back and 3. Chapter 3 15
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"I'm sorry," her small timid voice croaked. Only Bella would apologize for having a panic attack. "No, no, no, shh," I quieted her immediately, not willing to waste her energy arguing over what just happened. She can be soo stubborn. "Please stay," she whispered into my chest. "Always, Bella, always," I answered truthfully. For as long as you'll let me. The awkward position we were in was tugging on the wires of her IV, so I tried to move her to lie back on the bed, but she panicked again, fisting my shirt tightly, and began to shudder again. "No, no, no, Beautiful. I'm not leaving. Just lay back. I'll stay, I promise," I swore, trying to maneuver her onto the bed with enough room for all of us, but in the end decided to simply lift her and move her bodily over. I scooped up Lily gently, who never released Bella's hand as I lay her onto my chest and fitted myself beside Bella. Reaching around her body carefully, I tried to find Bella's head to push it against my shoulder, trying to give her contact that would make her feel safe but not hurt her body. Lily pulled Bella's hand up to her chest, and burrowed herself into my shirt. Bella snuggled into my shoulder, and they both drifted off quickly, exhausted. One overwhelming feeling encompassed my entire being. My girls.
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My mind raced, replaying the events, and I wanted to smack myself for ever leaving them alone in the room in the first place. Tomorrow's release from this place couldn't come soon enough. After a few moments, Bella's sleep-talking started, and I smiled, breathing in her sweet scent as she began her nonsensical mumblings. "Pancakes...Cinderella...Apples." What the hell does she dream about? "No...No...NO!" I looked down on her face quickly, afraid she was having a nightmare. "Shh, Bella. It's just a dream. I'm here. Lily's here." "Edward...safe...Edward...home." She snuggled back into my shoulder, calmer now, and I swallowed my tears thickly. Humbled and awed by her words, I let my head rest on hers, closing my eyes for just a moment.
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4. Chapter 4
Chapter 23: Outtake, Charlie and Bella's conversation at Bella's apartment CharliePOV "You gonna be alright there, Bells?" I asked, trying to comfort her with a pat on the shoulder. "I'm okay, Dad. Just going to miss them, that's all," she sniffled, obviously trying not to cry. Please don't cry. Never did know what to do with a crying girl. "She'll be back real soon, honey. Let's get out of here." She nodded, following me out to the car in the airport parking lot. Once we were loaded up and on the road, I tried to evaluate her as inconspicuously as possible. She appeared to have stopped with the crying, but she still looked sad. Unacceptable. I wanted to have a good day with my little girl before I had to go back. "You sure you're gonna be alright with the Cullens, Bells? 'Cause you could come home with me if you want..." I meant it, but I didn't really know how that'd work, seeing as I had stairs, and I couldn't carry her. And that whole shower thing... She put on her brave smile, shaking her head. "No, Dad. I'll be fine. What do you want to do today? It feels like forever since it was just you and me." I grinned, twitching my mustache at her the way that made her laugh when she was little. She giggled, and I grinned wider.
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"How's about we just spend the day at your place? Haven't been there for a while, and that way you won't get all tired out or anything." She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "I'm not an invalid, Dad. But yeah, my place sounds great. Hopefully I can still remember my way around." "Your place it is, then." We pulled into her apartment building, and I was on high alert for any bastards with cameras. I was still pissed I didn't get a swing at that Newton character. Even though Edward did do me proud. I was pretty pleased with Emmett for cracking his camera, too. As we parked, I noticed some movement out the corner of my eye, and I halted Bella with my arm and a finger to my lips. Stepping out of the cruiser quickly, I realized there was in fact somebody staked out in a car. Cigarette butts and empty coffee cups littered the ground beside his driver's side door and I marched straight over to him, my gun on clear display. Rapping twice on the window, he jumped when he saw me, and rolled it down quickly. "H-h-hello, Officer. Can I help you?" Twerp. "Yes. You can tell me which apartment you reside in at this address, or vacate the premises immediately. This is private property and this lot is reserved for residents only. So you can provide some ID, or be gone by the time I count to five." He gulped visibly, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. I held back an evil smile as he started to sweat, trying to think up some excuse.
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Love it when I make 'em sweat. "One...two..." He started his ignition up, flying into reverse and out of the garage, before I got to three. All in a day's work. Walking back over to my cruiser, I saw Bella watching me with an amused smirk on her face, waiting patiently for me to open her door. Playing innocent, I held her crutches out for her as she hoisted herself out of the seat. "My hero," she deadpanned. "You want me to call him back? I haven't gotten to kick a perp's ass in a dog's age, Bells. I'm just itchin' for a good fight..." She rolled her eyes, limping away from me towards the elevators. "Settle down, Desperado. Let's just get to the apartment, okay?" Once we were inside the apartment, she started trying to be predictable Bella, heading to the kitchen straight away. "Are you hungry, Dad? I don't know if I even have anything in here, I could make some coffee, maybe..." "Bella, would you please go park your behind on that couch and not move until I tell you to?" She glared at me, but behaved, limping over to the couch and plopping down. "Do I need to ask for permission to use the bathroom, too, Chief?"
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"Such a smartass," I grumbled, sitting down beside her. Her eyebrows furrowed, and I followed her gaze to the albums on the table. She looked at me questioningly, and I felt my face heat. "Those are from when me and Alice and Edward came over to clean up your place. You know, turn off the coffee machine and such. Kind of got caught up going through memories." Her eyes got all watery for a minute, before some kind of realization hit her, and she groaned. "Dad! Are you telling me you regaled them with the formidable-years-of-Bella-Swan stories all day?" "Relax, Bells," I laughed, but sobered up as I remembered some of the stories I had told. She'd kick my ass. "It wasn't too bad, I swear." She arched her eyebrow at me, not believing my act for a second. She softened after a couple of minutes of glaring, eyeing me speculatively. "You got really close with Alice and Edward while I was gone, didn't you?" I shrugged, a little uncomfortable with too much feelings talk. "Yeah, I mean, he and I understood what the other one was going through. You may be all grown, but you'll always be my little girl, Bella." "And Alice?" I snorted thinking of that little munchkin. "She didn't leave me much choice, to be honest. And...it felt good to be a dad to someone while my little girl was missing. Plus, it's kind of hard to stay down around that one. I needed that sometimes." She put her hand on my arm, smiling at me sweetly. "You don't have to explain yourself, Dad. You're the best, I can't blame Alice for wanting to get to play daughter with you. I don't mind sharing you, as long as you don't forget to like me best," she smirked. 4. Chapter 4 21
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I rolled my eyes, nudging her shoulder playfully. "Of course you're my favorite, Bells. You cook better." She scoffed, punching me back. "Thanks. I feel the love, Dad...But seriously, who are you venting to these days? I worry about you." I felt my face take on a three-alarm flush, and I pretended to choke on air to distract her, but she wasn't buying it. "Dad? Is there something you'd like to tell me?" She sat back, with her arms crossed, giving me my own don't-fork-around-stare. That's actually pretty intimidating. Gulping hard, I focused real hard on the edge of her coffee table. "You know. I have friends." "Friends don't cause that look on your face. Friends are Billy Black and Stan Fletcher...Daddy?" she cooed. "Do you have...a lady friend?" We are now at five-alarm fire on the face. And I can feel my mustache a'twitchin'. "Aw, damnit, Bells. Quit pickin' on me," I mumbled, not even able to look her in the eye. "Oh my God!" she squealed. "Do you? Do you really have a girlfriend? Oh, Dad, I'm so happy for you! What's her name? Where did you meet her? How long have you been seeing her? When can I meet her?" "Geez, Bells, settle down! I think you and Alice have more in common than I thought. I'm not really seein' her, we just talk a lot. You know, on the phone. I've been here in Seattle with you, and she lives in Port Angeles." "Port Angeles?" she asked, confused. 4. Chapter 4 22
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I nodded my head, gauging her reaction carefully. "Yeah, Port Angeles. She's a nurse at the Olympic Medical Center. Her name's Sue. Sue Clearwater. I met her when...when you were there. She's...she's real nice, Bells. I think you'd like her. I...I was thinking about bringing her to your birthday dinner if you wouldn't mind." I should have known better than to worry about her bein' upset about it. Her face broke into a huge grin, and she actually started crying. Again with the tears, damnit! "Oh my gosh, Dad. I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to meet her." "Yeah, yeah," I muttered, eager to change the subject off myself. "So when are you gonna move on from the dog, Bells? I'd like to see you taken care of." She scowled, smacking me in the arm. "I don't need a man to take care of me, Dad. I take plenty good care of myself, thank you very much. And I'm not stuck on Jacob, why you'd even think of him blows my mind. There just hasn't been anyone." I narrowed my eyes on her, catching the unspoken 'until now' in her tone. She fidgeted slightly under my stare, looking away quickly. Wonder if it's too late to have her fitted for a chastity belt. "Bella." She waved her hands around all crazy-like. "What, Dad? You really want to talk boys?" "I want to know if there's somebody in my little girl's life, yeah. So out with it now. Who is he?" Wish I'd sent her to a convent when she turned thirteen. 4. Chapter 4 23
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She flushed fire-engine red, but realized I wasn't backing down. There was only one man I could think of that would do right by her in my opinion, but I'd learned my lesson last time. Unless she wanted him, he'd get no help from me. "Edward," she mumbled, before pushing her face into a pillow. Oh thank God. Although now that means he and I are going to have a little chat. "Bella," I coaxed her. "C'mon, Bells. Don't be embarrassed. I'm not really that surprised, you know." That got her attention. She jerked up, wide-eyed and panicked. "What do you mean, you're not surprised? Is it that obvious? Do you think he can tell? Oh my God, I sound like I'm thirteen all over again!" She threw her face back into the pillow again and I just shook my head at her. Times like this I could see the Renee in her. "Bella, it's okay, honey. You two just have a way around each other is all. He's a good man, Bella. I'm happy for you." She brought her face up again, and I could see her eyes filling up. Jesus, not again. This has to be all that damn medication. How many times a day can she cry? I have to be doing something wrong. "But Dad, there's nothing to be happy about. He has no idea, and I can't bring myself to tell him, because I don't want to make things weird. If I started trying to explain to him every little thing that I loved about him, he'd probably run for the hills." My eyebrows shot all the way up to my hair. Only daughter. Loves. Boy. Does. Not. Compute. 4. Chapter 4 24
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"Daddy, I really, really, like him," she whimpered softly, and damn it all, I just knew that she wouldn't be doubting herself like this if that dog hadn't done such a number on her. That psycho didn't help any either. "Aw, Bells," I muttered, pulling her closer to me with my arm around her shoulders. "You gotta remember, sweetie. Us men, we're pretty simple folk. He'd be a fool not to feel the same way." And I've heard him playing piano for you every night this week so you won't cry. "You just gotta talk to him. I don't think Edward's running anywhere, except to you. Give him a chance, Bells." And if he blows it, I'll kill him. Simple. She searched my eyes for a few moments, and I just sat there and let her. After a bit, she sighed, snuggling in close to me like she did as a kid when we'd watch games together. "So...tell me more about Sue." Aw, hell.
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This outtake is just a little something I had fun with, not really necessary for the story, but a nice insight into the budding friendship between the three women. Chapter 23: Outtake Rose, Alice, and Bella's conversation RPOV Alice came rushing up to my BMW as I pulled into Carlisle and Esme's driveway, opening my car door before I could even turn off my ignition. I don't know how the fuck Jasper does it. "Did you get it?" Alice chirped. I would never understand how someone so fucking short had the ability to hover the way she did. I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Alice. I got it. Did you get what you were supposed to?" She nodded her head, bouncing. "When do you think we should give them to her? She's going to be really bummed once Charlie's gone, so I was thinking it might cheer her up..." I nodded my head back and forth, deliberating. "Follow my cue, okay, Tiny? If she's really upset, I don't think she'll be in the mood. But if she needs a good distraction, then we'll go through with it. But for God's sake, don't get pushy!" "Who, me?" she batted her eyelashes at me in mock innocence, and I smirked snidely back at her. "Hooker," I muttered, strutting past her into the house.
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After dinner, Alice and I sorted everything out in the living room while Bella said good-bye to her dad. "You're not going to say good-bye to Charlie, Ali? You guys are like the world's weirdest best friend couple ever..." She rolled her eyes, smiling softly. "I helped play daughter when Bella was gone. But she's back, and he doesn't need me so much now...We should probably get it out of the way now, shouldn't we?" Breathing deeply, I nodded. "One...two...three..." "EEEEE!" we squealed in unison. "Do you think we'll ever get over that need to fangirl before talking to her?" I asked, totally serious. She smirked back at me in her all-fucking-knowing way, and I narrowed my eyes at her. "What?" "I'm sure we will if Edward gets to keep her around for as long as I think he wants to..." she waggled her eyebrows, looking completely ridiculous considering how small and perfectly manicured they were. "It's painfully fucking obvious that he's completely ga-ga over her, but I know you...and you know something...Spill. Now," I commanded. "He may...have talked to Jasper. And Jasper may... have told me all about how he is pretty much in fucking love with her. Like I could tell he likes her...but I had no idea that he's so...He's never talked about a girl like that before, Rose." I nodded thoughtfully, stewing on it for a minute. "It's not really a shock, but I'm glad to hear it's more than just some stupid little-boy hero-crush. 5. Chapter 5 27
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It is more than that, right, Ali? Jasper's confident?" She nodded seriously, her eyes wide. "Wow," I blew out, ruminating on this new piece of information. Suddenly, we heard some yelling come from the foyer. "What the hell?" I wondered aloud as we made our way out front to find out what the commotion was. Edward and Emmett were yelling at Bella, and she looked near tears. I was about to step in and rip their balls off, but Edward wised up and shut his trap. We watched him take Bella upstairs, and Emmett stood holding Lily, looking to us for help. "We'll take her, Em," I told him, pulling Lily from his arms and taking her upstairs to get ready for bed. After Lily was bathed and dressed for bed, she started asking for Edward. So with a promise to retrieve him, we left and went back downstairs, but couldn't find him anywhere. "Has anybody seen Edward? Lily wants him," I asked nobody in particular, as the whole family was sitting around the kitchen table, sipping coffee. "He never came back down. I think he's still up there with Bella," Emmett frowned, and I rolled my eyes as he went into brother bear mode. I held up a hand to keep him in his seat. "We'll go. We wanted to talk to her anyway." I grabbed Alice's arm and dragged her back into the living room where our bags lay. We headed up the stairs quietly and listened outside her 5. Chapter 5 28
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"Shh. I don't care about my shirt, I care about you. Blow your nose in it, I don't care," we heard Edward's soft voice say, and we both exchanged the same look when he said it. Oh shit. He's got it bad. Alice questioned me with her eyes, and I nodded, mouthing, 'Calm' at her. She stuck her tongue out at me, but knocked softly on the door jamb. "Knock, knock," she called softly. "We wanted to come check on you, but if you'd rather we came back..." Good girl, Alice. We watched Bella and Edward exchange a look, and I couldn't believe how in sync they were with each other already. She smiled and told him, "Go. Tuck Lily in. Tell her I'll see her tomorrow, and I love her, please?" His whole face lit up when she said that, and the girl must have really been still feeling the side effects of all that fucking medicine to not see how ridiculously smitten he was. He just nodded, walking out of the room, but not before he tried to be a nosy bastard and see what we had in our hands. Alice snatched them back before he had the chance to peek. Bella would turn a new shade of red if he saw what we had for her. "Uh-uh, brother. Get lost. This is women business. Shoo." She slammed the door in his dumb, gaping face, and I suppressed the urge to laugh outright.
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"Hey, guys," she sniffled, trying to smile convincingly. "You don't have to do that, Bella," I soothed. "We know you're sad Charlie's gone." She rubbed her hand on her face, shaking her head. "Yeah, but I'm being ridiculous. He'll be back in five days. I usually go a month at a time between visits with him." "Are you sure you're up for company? We can catch up with you later. If you want to be alone right now," Alice offered, and I was really proud of her for keeping calm, even though we were both really excited to hook her up. "No, no. Distract me," she pleaded, and Alice and I grinned in anticipation. If you insist. "So, Bella..." Alice sidled up to her on one side of the bed, while I flanked the other. She noticed the bags in our hands for the first time, and eyed them curiously. "As much as I love that you save me from having to watch those boring-ass documentaries with Jazzy, I think I might have a better way to help you get some sleep," Alice grinned mischievously. Bella's eyes turned from curious to suspicious immediately. "What are you talking about, Alice?" Clearing my throat, I joined in. "First, Bella, I need to ask you. I don't need you to tell me any specifics at all, but before we show you, we want to make sure it won't upset you. How are you feeling...sexually since everything happened?"
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As expected, she flushed fire engine red instantly, staring at our bags like they might bite her. We didn't have anything like that in there, but it could be arranged if that's what she was into. Alice and I waited patiently for her skin to resume its normal coloring, before she bit her lip and closed her eyes. "Honestly?" she asked timidly. We waited for her to open her eyes to see us nodding solemnly. "I've never felt less like a woman in my life!" she wailed. "I have to have help showering, so it's not like there's any privacy there. Esme was right, helping out around here feels good. And I like having my days filled with activities and people because it keeps me occupied and makes me feel like I'm progressing and getting better, but...I still feel like I'm being handled with gloves." Reaching over and grabbing her shoulders, I stilled her frantic speech. "It's okay, Bella. We've got you covered." I handed her the bag, and sat back to watch her open it. Now that I was confident it wouldn't set her off, I was eager to see what she thought. "Oh. My. God," Bella sputtered in shock, as she pulled out the silver bullet vibrator from the bag. After some back and forth with Alice, we decided against anything resembling a dildo or dick, just in case it might be upsetting for her. "You guys are nuts!" she screeched, before tumbling over laughing. "But Bella, stress relief is so important. And I mean really, when was the last time you had an orgasm?" Alice retorted. Bella's eyes opened wider as she realized this wasn't a gag gift, and she dropped it like it was on fire. 5. Chapter 5 31
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"You guys can't leave that here! I appreciate it, I do, I have one at home, but I can't have that here! First of all, I'm next door to Edward, and I would die if he heard me...doing that. And if Lily finds it...I do not want to be responsible for that conversation." "Bella, Bella, Bella," I shook my head back and forth. "Finish opening your presents." Alice handed her the other bag, and she opened it quickly, curious. "See," Alice pointed out excitedly. "It's a little case for it to go in, and it locks here so you don't have to risk getting embarrassed." "Getting embarrassed. I already am so embarrassed. This whole 'presenting Bella with sex toys' thing is so embarrassing." "Jesus, Bella," I rolled my eyes. "I know you've never had a lot of girlfriends before, but this is what we do. We talk about sex, masturbating, and help a fellow sister out. You already said you have one at home. If you'd rather we go get that one for you, if you're like especially attached to it, I understand..." She groaned, covering her beet-red face in her hands. Prying them away gently, I grinned obnoxiously, right in front of her face. I saw her trying to hold back a smile, so I went in for the kill. "For the record, it never hurts to have more than one. And plenty of batteries. At least we went simple. Alice's has all kinds of crazy attachments, and I mean, I have three myself." "Rose! What the hell do you do with three?" she laughed. "You do not want to know the answer to that, Bella," Alice deadpanned. We all fell over on the bed laughing, and Alice proceeded to dump out the rest of the contents in the bags. 5. Chapter 5 32
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"So we've got lube, batteries, I think you should be all set. You'll just have to hide the key somewhere, but I think that just about does it." "But...but...but what if Edward hears?" she whispered. "Then maybe he can come over and help you out so we can stop being smothered in all the UST floating around this house," I grinned evilly. Her eyes got wide, before she groaned, throwing a pillow over her face. "You guys can tell too?" she asked, muffled. Ripping the pillow off, I smiled at her sympathetically. "Yeah, we do have eyes, you know. And I didn't just mean on your end. He's got it bad. We've known him forever, Bella." "I promised Siobhan I'd talk to him by the next time I'd seen her. That's coming up later this week, but I can't seem to work up the nerve," she admitted, biting her lip. Alice huffed. "Well, I hate to tell you this, but I know my brother well. He spends more time locked inside his own head than out. I know you don't want to hear this, but you're going to have to be the one to break the ice. If you can just push a couple of his buttons, he'll unload on you like a dam burst, but..." "But he's a stubborn, broody ass that needs a good kick to get moving along," I finished. "It's just been a long time for me. I'm a little out of practice," she said, almost sounding resigned to fail. I scowled at her. "Look, Bella. You're a strong, independent woman. Even if you put yourself out there and Edward's too stupid to realize what he could have, then you've at least done as much as you could do. You won't have to kill yourself with what-ifs. Not that I really think you have too much to worry about." 5. Chapter 5 33
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"We're not trying to pressure you, Bella. We know you've got a lot going on. Just know that we're here if you want to vent, okay?" Alice piped in. Bella was silent for a moment, and then I heard her heave a deep sigh. "Thank you guys. This is actually perfect. I've never had this kind of girly time before, but...it feels really normal. But you know what this means, right?" Sitting up, Alice and I exchanged confused looks. "No birthday presents." "Bitch, please. You wish. Those are already purchased, wrapped, and waiting. Get the fuck over it," I waved her off, smirking at her defeated expression. "Why don't you like your birthday, Bella?" Alice asked, totally serious. She shrugged her shoulders, folding up the tissue paper in her hands. "I don't know...As a kid, it was a reminder that I couldn't be two places at once, no matter how much I wanted to see both my parents. Later, it seemed like I always embarrassed myself somehow. I've always been shy around a lot of people, and it's never enjoyable having your clumsiness magnified in front of people you don't even know. Once I was an adult, it just seemed like another year passed, spent with somebody who didn't understand me at all. Kind of takes the joy out of it, you know?" "Will you give us a chance to change that for you?" Alice asked hopefully, but thankfully held back her look. That shit oughta be illegal. Completely unfair manipulation tactic. Unless Bella was using it on Emmett. Then it was just funny. "We'll keep it simple," I assured her. "Just dinner with everybody. I promise." 5. Chapter 5 34
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She looked down at the loot in front of her, before looking up at Alice and me with smiling eyes. "Thank you."
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It might be fun to compare this to Chapter 28 in BPOV towards the end. Drunkward didn't quite remember things the same way as she did. Chapter 28: Outtake of Thursday, September 5th EPOV I tapped my foot against the pavement outside of La Bella Italia waiting for Charlie to show up for lunch. Eating was the last thing on my mind, but I'd promised my mom I wouldn't go the whole day without stopping for something. Ali had just texted me to let me know that Bella's friend Angela had picked her up from the house and they were going out to lunch. I was so proud of her for taking the day for herself. She really deserved a stress-free day and I was hoping she would be too distracted with her friend to worry about Charlie and me. "Hey there, Edward. Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long," Charlie greeted as he stepped out of his cruiser. "No, no, you're good, Charlie," I nodded to him. "How was the drive in from Forks?" "Eh, it was a drive," he shrugged noncommittally, not making eye contact. "D'you just come from Sue's, Charlie? You're looking a little guilty there," I grinned, already feeling more at ease in his presence. He rolled his eyes at me, bumping my shoulder as he walked past me up the steps to the entrance. "No, you ol' smartass. I actually just got done in La Push, if you really wanted to know." 6. Chapter 6 36
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"La Push?" I questioned, trying to understand. "Wait, that's the reservation where Jacob is, right? Has he been hassling Bella again?" I asked angrily. Screw watching James die. I'll go beat that dog's ass right now. "No, not that I know of. She hasn't mentioned anything, has she?" he narrowed his eyes at me. I shook my head curtly back at him as we followed the hostess to a table. "No, but that doesn't mean anything," I muttered. He snorted, nodding in understanding. "Yeah, that's true. But ever since Billy took away his phone and deleted her number, he's not supposed to have been able to call her. And I think after today we're clear as to what will happen if he does." My eyebrows rose in surprise as I took a seat across from him. "Oh, yeah? And what exactly happened today?" "Stays between you and me?" he confirmed. I nodded quickly back. "Well, I'd stopped by to give Billy back his fish finder so he could go out on the lake tomorrow and he told me Vanessa's been tryin' to call and talk to Jacob, but he keeps blowin' her off. Billy said he thought it was because of Bella and I decided I'd had enough. So Billy called him down and we had a nice long talk in the kitchen together, where I made it perfectly clear that she'd moved on, and he needed to do the same. "When he started spoutin' off his crap about he was the better man for her and he loved her and what-not, I just cut him off and told him he had two options. Stay away, or I'll slap a restraining order on him so fast his head'll spin. Billy even told him he needed to accept that he'd blown it years ago and if he didn't wake up, he'd lose the only other woman 6. Chapter 6 37
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that's ever wanted to put up with him." "So did that work?" I asked incredulously. "He's been so thick-headed; I wouldn't think he'd give up so easy." Charlie smiled triumphantly. "Well, then Billy played his trump card. Asked him if his mother was alive what she would think. That got him. When I left he was goin' upstairs to call Vanessa. She can keep him for life, far as I'm concerned." "Hello, gentlemen," our server greeted as she walked up to us. I realized I hadn't even opened the menu and unfolded it quickly. "What can I get you handsome boys to drink?" I shrugged, glancing over all the items that looked completely unappetizing to me. "I'll take a Coke, I guess. What about you, Charlie?" I asked, looking up at him to find him staring at me with an amused expression on his face. I cocked my head in question but he just smirked, looking back down at his own menu. "I'll take a Coke too, please." "Would you like to go ahead and order?" the waitress asked, hovering a little closely to me, so I scooted my chair over before I answered her. "Uh, sure, I'll take the mushroom ravioli," I replied, handing her my menu and looking back to Charlie, who was red in the face and looking like he was trying not to laugh. "I'll take the same," he choked out, handing her the menu before she walked away quickly. As soon as she was out of sight, he burst out laughing into his hand, trying to muffle it while I just sat there. "Mind letting me in on the joke?" I asked, bemused.
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"Aw, hell, son. You really got it bad, don't you?" he howled, making a couple of people look over at us. I just shrugged my shoulders back at him, completely confused. "Edward, that waitress was giving you some bedroom eyes if I've ever seen 'em, and you didn't even notice. She practically tried to throw her breasts in your face and you moved away from her without so much as a glance. I think you really pissed her off," he chuckled. "Oh," I frowned. "I didn't realize..." He smiled, nodding. "I know. You're a good man, Edward." Nodding back embarrassed, I didn't even look the waitress in the eye when she set our drinks down on the table without a word. "She's gunning for a nice shiny quarter at this rate," Charlie grinned. Laughing back, I shook my head as we waited for the food I had no interest in eating. "So how's this going to go?" I finally asked, addressing the big, pink elephant sitting between us. He sighed heavily, stirring his straw absently in his drink. "The detectives'll be there, along with the D.A. There's no relatives, obviously, so other than that, it'll just be us and the doctor. They'll read off the court order, turn off the machines, and you know the rest." Tearing my napkin into a million pieces in front of me, I jumped when a bowl of food appeared in front of me. "Can I get you anything else, sir?" the waitress cooed, leaning in too close again.
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"Uh, no thanks," I muttered, thoroughly disgusted by her blatant attempts at flirting. Charlie started to look annoyed, too, and reached his hand out for his plate. "That's mine, right, miss?" "Here you go," she said with fake sugar dripping from her voice, rolling her eyes as she walked away. "She'll be lucky to get that quarter if she keeps that up," he muttered. Nodding, I pushed my food around my plate, not feeling hungry at all. It smelled good enough, but eating before going to watch someone die just didn't feel quite right. Looking up, I saw Charlie doing the same. "This place could learn a thing or two from my Bella," he remarked before giving up on eating and shoving his plate to the side. "She really is the best cook," I agreed. "How's she doin'?" he asked, meeting my glance briefly in a worried look. I sighed, wanting to only give him good news. "Did she tell you about Monday?" He shook his head back, "Naw, I haven't talked to her since Sunday night." Pushing aside my own untouched bowl, I leaned forward on my elbows and rubbed my hands in my eyes. "She's okay, now," I emphasized, hoping he wouldn't notice. Fat chance.
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"What do you mean, 'now?' Damnit, Edward, out with it, you're starting to scare me," he demanded. "Shit. I mean, she's fine, but she wasn't earlier this week, but I don't want to say anything she doesn't want me to. We had a rough time at Lily's statement on Monday," I pled with him to understand my predicament. That woman owned me and I couldn't break her confidence. He huffed an angry breath through his nose, crossing his arms gruffly. "Well, when you say she wasn't fine earlier this week, do you mean physically? I mean, did she have to go back in the hospital or anything like that?" "No, no, nothing like that," I assured him. "We had a hard time at Siobhan's, she got sick, and then she slept." For over half a day. "After that we talked for a long time, and she's felt better since. If you want more than that, you've got to ask her, Charlie, I'm sorry." "Naw, I understand," he nodded. "Last thing you want is a Swan woman mad at you, Edward, trust me...It's just hard. No matter how old she gets, she's still my little girl." I nodded back, agreeing, though I had yet to have to experience it with Lily myself. "You said you all had a hard time at Siobhan's? How was little Lily?" I cringed, remembering her meltdown in the office and her retelling of her blowup at Bella at home. "That good, huh?" he asked, smiling sadly. "It was awful," I admitted. "Lily started screaming, but this time it wasn't in a flashback. She was actually screaming at Bella." I gauged his reaction, but he nodded in understanding, surprising me. 6. Chapter 6 41
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"It's common for kids in domestic abuse situations to be angry at the parent protecting them," he replied to my questioning look. "I've seen it before. It's usually guilt turned into anger, and they lash out at the one person they know instinctively would never hurt them for it." "That's pretty much what Siobhan said," I nodded. "She also said my turn's coming eventually." "I'm sure," he agreed. "And it won't be pretty, but you've got a good family 'round you to support you. Just keep your head on your shoulders and you'll make it through." I swallowed thickly, looking down at the tablecloth. "I lost it on Monday," I rasped out. "Took you long enough," he said simply, making my head dart up in shock. "Edward, I don't mean that to sound unkind, but seriously. The reason I had to borrow Billy's fish finder is because I smashed mine to bits a week and a half ago. That first night when I had to leave Bella at your house, and I know it was the right thing to do, 'cause you all can take care of her better than me, but leaving her there killed me. I've only cried six times in my life, and I'll tell you with no shame that night was one of 'em. "I drank every beer I had in my house and destroyed half my living room before I finally passed out. So go on, tell me. What happened to you?" Steeling myself, I admitted, "I rammed Marcus into a wall and tried to fight Jasper. Bella called my dad to come get her and Lily so I could sort my shit out with Siobhan. It took half a Xanax and almost two hours of talking to them before I was calm enough to drive home. By then, Bella had already put Lily to bed, and Bella...she..." my voice cracked and died in my throat as I remembered the image of her crying and moaning, half-naked on the bathroom floor, hardly able to support herself.
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He waved off any further explanation, blinking hard at the carpet. We both took a moment to recover, and then changed the subject to happier topics. We talked the afternoon away, only noticing the late time when the waitress came over to hand us our bill. "Sorry guys, but my shift's over," she dropped the check on the table and walked away without another word. "If I wasn't raised better..." Charlie muttered, throwing a couple of twenties on the table before standing. He waved off my attempt to reach for my own wallet. "Next time." I followed his cruiser a few blocks over to Olympic Medical Center. The walk inside was somber and quiet. Gone was the light-hearted atmosphere we had created for ourselves in the restaurant. When we stepped off the elevator, I was unsurprised to see Marcus, Jonathan, and A.D.A. Caius standing there waiting for us outside the intensive care unit. They nodded politely in greeting, but didn't halt their whispered conversation. A man I didn't recognize was standing next to them, shuffling through some papers on the counter of the nurse's desk. I was a bit shocked to see Laurent Eamon standing off to the side, looking much more worn down than the last time I had seen him. Pity for him washed over me, for this man that had lost the last of his family at the hands of James. I realized I had never given his sister and niece another thought once we had finally found Lily and Bella, but it made sense that he would be here too. He nodded to us in greeting before he resumed looking down at his feet. Once Dr. Smith joined us, we walked inside the ICU, down the hallway to James' room. Most of his bandages had been removed, though his burns still looked awful. We shuffled inside the small room, where Caius pulled out a piece of paper from the folder under his arm and handed it to Dr. Smith.
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In an official tone, Dr. Smith read aloud, "On September 2nd, 2009, Washington State Court was petitioned by the District Attorney's Office on behalf of the Seattle Police Department to remove any and all mechanical means of life support for James Harrison, on the grounds that he was certified to be in a persistent vegetative state, as diagnosed by myself, Dr. Robert Smith, and Dr. Garrett Meyer. His court-appointed Public Defender Demetri Sankov has agreed to the terms of his disconnection of life support for the aforementioned reason. On this day, September 5th, 2009, I, as the residing physician, Dr. Robert Smith, accept this court's order to terminate continuing life support of James Harrison." He signed the bottom of the paper before handing a copy of it back to Caius. Walking over to James' ventilator, he met my eyes briefly before he looked to Charlie. I didn't see Charlie's reaction, but for myself, surprisingly, I felt nothing. This is unbelievably anti-climactic. He hit two buttons on the machine, and it stopped pumping oxygen into his lungs. Nothing. James was gone before now, his damage was done. All that was left now were the pieces we were putting back together slowly. He would never truly know or pay for the pain he caused my family, but it didn't matter. Because I was walking out of here. He wasn't. He. Was. Nothing. At 6:02 p.m., Dr. Robert Smith pronounced James Harrison dead, and I walked away feeling freer than I had since as far back as I could remember. A quick glance at Charlie beside me as we made our way outside the hospital showed me he was feeling pretty good, too.
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"Stoppin' by Sue's on the way home," he muttered, looking anywhere but me. Grinning, I punched his shoulder playfully. "You have fun with that. I'm going home to my girls." He beamed proudly at me, pausing with his hand on his door. "I couldn't have asked for a better man for her, Edward. You drive safe now." He climbed into his cruiser and pulled away as I whistled my way to my Volvo, eager to get home and put my baby to bed. . There was a wicked wreck on the I-5 just past Tacoma, so I didn't make it home until well after Lily was already tucked into bed. I hopped upstairs to give her a kiss and a hug anyway, slipping back downstairs after to get something to eat now that I was finally feeling hungry. My parents were still waiting anxiously in the kitchen, but my mother was only worried to see me home safe. After a kiss on the cheek, she wandered off to bed. My dad, on the other hand, wanted to hear how everything went. "Are you okay? Is it done? How was Charlie? Do you need anything?" my dad shot question after question at me, until I chuckled and held my hand up to stop him. "Dad, I'm fine. I just need something in my stomach and then I can tell you whatever you want to know," I waved him off, wandering into the pantry to grab a bag of chips to snack on. He was still watching me warily when I came back out, but when I offered him a genuine smile, he relaxed slightly. Sagging back in his chair, he muttered, "It goes against everything I am as a doctor, but I'm glad he's dead."
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"That's just it, Dad," I said sympathetically. "He's been dead. Nothing's changed because a machine's not breathing for him anymore." "Are you saying you wouldn't have cared if they continued him on life support for the rest of his life?" he asked incredulously. "Of course not," I rolled my eyes at him. "It's just that after finally hitting the point where the only place we have to move is forward, I realized...he's nothing. He ruined his wife's and daughter's chance at life, but I'm not going to let him ruin mine." Cocking a curious eyebrow at me, he smirked, "Won't let him ruin your chance at life, or your wife and daughter?" My jaw dropping, I understood what I'd said. "Well, you know...all of us, but not technically, my wife..." "At least not yet," he grinned. "Jesus, Dad!" I exclaimed, embarrassed. "Let me take the girl on a second date first, would you?" "You take her on as many dates as you want," he shrugged. "Won't change what she is to this family, to Lily, and to you." "Yeah...I know," I admitted. "But for propriety's sake, don't let Mom start leaving wedding magazines laying around yet, okay?" Standing up, he smiled down at me, "Bring your snack. It's time for a celebratory drink." . "I can't believe you and your brother drank a quarter of my twenty-eight year old scotch!"
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"Dad...it was a rough night," I reasoned, like I was trying to get out of a grounding. He shook his head disapprovingly at his bottle, sighing like he'd lost an old friend. "Well, I guess you know what you're getting me for Christmas." I laughed, "Deal." Grabbing a couple of scotch glasses, he poured three fingers into each one, handing me one before raising his. "To the safety and happiness of your new family." I nodded gratefully to him, clinking my glass against his before taking a drink. He brought the bottle with us over to the couch, and we took a seat facing each other to talk. "I want you to know how proud I am of you, son." "Dad," I fidgeted, embarrassed. "You don't have to say that. You've told me before..." "Yes, I've told you before, and I'll never stop telling you," he insisted. "Seeing how far you've come since getting Lily back, I've been so impressed. Edward, a lesser man would have fallen apart within the first week she was gone, but you held strong, you kept up hope. And since you've gotten her back you've been a model of patience and love. Had you not been such an exceptional father before she was taken, I'm certain things would have been so much more dire for her." "Bella had a lot to do with that, Dad," I argued. He lifted up his hand to stop me before taking another generous drink of his scotch. "I know what she did, and I'll get to her. But I'm talking about you, Edward. Don't sell yourself short, and give yourself some credit. 6. Chapter 6 47
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The day before we found her, I told you, seeing you become the father you are has been my greatest accomplishment and joy." "Thanks," I mumbled, before draining the rest of my glass. He refilled it instantly and topped off his own. "The whole family already sees her as one of us," he murmured. Meeting my confused gaze, he specified, "Bella." Smiling into my glass, I nodded. "Yeah, it's hard to imagine this family without her in it." "She makes you happy. That's all your mother and I ever wanted for you. If you'd decided to sell carpet samples we wouldn't have cared, as long as it brought you happiness. We've been waiting for you to find it for a long time." Taking another long drink, I agreed, "I didn't know I wasn't happy until I met her." He nodded, looking a little glassy-eyed. My lack of food wasn't helping my case much, either. "I've got to tell you, son, something Esme's father told me. If you follow this advice, you'll be married forever, I promise you." "Dad," I laughed. "I'm not married. Not even engaged." He scoffed at me as he filled both our glasses again. How many was that now? Three? Four? "Technicality," he waved me off, before emptying his glass and filling it again just as quickly. He raised his eyebrow at mine and I sipped immediately, already starting to feel a little fuzzy around the edges.
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"Alright, fine," I grinned. "What's this advice? If I ever get lucky enough to marry her, I don't ever want to lose her." "Okay," he nodded firmly, grinning back. "The night before I married your mother, he sat me down and told me that a successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day." Looking more serious now, he continued, "It's human nature to change as we age, Edward. But when you let yourself become complacent and just drift along, you wake up years later married to someone you don't recognize. Don't ever assume that just because you love each other you'll always drift in the same direction. Talk, everyday, even if for only five minutes. You'll have to fall in love many times, but only with same person. There will be highs and lows, but I know I raised a fighter. When things are low, you fight to get them high again. "He also told me if I ever raised a hand to her or stepped out on her he'd castrate me, but I figure I'll leave that up to Charlie." Shaking my head, I kicked back the last of my scotch before looking him in the eye. Why is he swaying? "She's the only woman I see, Dad. She's it. And you know I'd never hit a woman. Least of all that woman. The Yorkie and Nurse Mallory, I'll admit I've been tempted, but shit..." I laughed, reaching for the bottle to refill my glass since he was too busy draining his own. "Bella could probably kick my ass." He snorted scotch out his nose, his shoulders shaking in laughter. "Did I ever tell you about the time your mother broke my nose?" "What?" I gaped. "No! Mom? She's so...Mom."
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"It was when she was in labor with you. Emmett's delivery took so long, I didn't want to take her to the hospital right away, thinking we had plenty of time. She kept telling me we needed to go, but I played my doctor card and made her calm down at home for an hour before she finally threatened to drive herself. So we show up at the hospital, and we walk in and get her to a room straight away. Your mother's screaming for an epidural, but when the doctor checks her, he says she's at a ten already and 100% effaced! "Now I hadn't eaten yet that day and I was starting to get a headache. I don't know if it was nerves from knowing the baby was coming so fast, or what, but I actually asked the doctor if I had time to eat something before she needed to push, because my head was really hurting." "You didn't!" I choked out through my laughter. "I did!" he roared, spilling some of the scotch onto the carpet as he poured more into our glasses. "Your mother...your mother stopped screaming, crooked her little finger at me, and my idiotic self came over to her. Just as another contraction hit, she punched me right in the face and yelled, 'There! Now you have something to complain about!' She has never let me forget that I complained about having a headache while she was 'pushing a watermelon through a peephole!'" "Aw, fuck, Dad!" I groaned, not happy with the mental image he was giving me of my mother at the moment. "I'm going to have to bleach my brain. Stop! No more!" "Hey!" he protested. "Nerves can do bad things to a man when his wife is in pain! I once got a call from a man because his wife was in labor and her contractions were only a couple of minutes apart. He was screaming at me over and over what he should do in case he couldn't get to the hospital in time. I asked him if this was her first child." "And?" I prodded.
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"And he screamed at me...'No, you idiot! This is her husband!" We both fell over laughing. We were still in hysterics when my mom and my Bella walked in the room. "Bella! Esme!" my dad grinned. "Come and join us for a drink!" That would be awesome! Taking a look at my girl, I was happy to see she was looking beautiful and cheerful as ever. I hadn't seen her in too long. I needed to hug her. "Bella! Baby! Did you have fun today with..." What's her name again? "Your friend?" I asked, holding her in my arms for the first time all day. My mom was going to have a drink with us, but my dad wouldn't give her the bottle. Why isn't there very much left? Suddenly I was pulled back by my dad as he threw his arm around my neck. "My son is in love! Look at him, Esme! He's so happy!" he grinned and I nodded in agreement. "I am, Bella. I'm so happy. You're so beautiful. Beautiful Bella. Beautiful Beautiful." It's the same thing! My dad got it, and we both started laughing again, except I couldn't remember why we were laughing before that. Then my dad left with my mom to go to bed, which was probably good. She looked a little fuzzy. My beautiful sweet girl was standing in front of me and I needed to hold her again. 6. Chapter 6 51
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"Bella, baby, I love you so much. I missed you today. I'm sorry I'm being an ass." I love your ass. I helped her get to the couch and lay down since it looked really comfortable. But when I didn't feel her lay down next to me, I turned around, upset. "What? Where are you going?" She tried to point at the window seat, but that was unacceptable. So I told her so. She tried to argue, but I would have just dragged her back anyway. I fit her in between the couch and me so she wouldn't fall and instantly felt peaceful. "There, see? That's so much better. You fit just right." She brushed her fingers through my hair. Oooooh, that feels so good. She tried asking me about my day, but that was a really long time ago. We didn't need to talk about that. Only fun. "...tomorrow when you can remember it." Huh? What'd she say? Unable to resist the softness pressed against me, I made myself comfortable in her perfect breasts. "I always remember what you say, baby. I love you. Mmm..." This is sooo nice. 6. Chapter 6 52
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"I love these, too." Oh, I shouldn't tell her that. "They're so comfy." Stop talking, Cullen! My sweet girl just kept scratching her fingers through my hair, making me want to purr. "I love you, Edward. I hope you aren't too hung over tomorrow for our date." Yeah, right. Like I'd give up the chance to be alone with you. Maybe have more fun sexy times. "I can't wait to get you alone tomorrow. I'm so glad I can tell you that now." So much easier now that I don't have to hide what you do to me. She mumbled something about not knowing what I meant. "Oh, you know," I explained patiently. "Before, when you were still in the hospital and first came home, I couldn't tell you I wanted to be with you. But now it's okay." She started shaking, and it scared me to think I might be hurting her. "Are you okay, baby? Am I hurting you?" She smiled. "Oh, there's my Edward. I'm fine. Go to sleep now." Not without a goodnight kiss. She always tasted so good. "I love you, sweet girl." "I love you back, baby," she said softly before I nuzzled myself back down into her delicious breasts. 6. Chapter 6 53
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A/N: Thanks to songster for helping figure out the strange process of Washington State laws, and bellamarie117 for beta'ing with the quickness. Und FantasyMother for letting me run ideas past her constantly. I 3 you ladies long time. Bitte schne. A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every dayAndre Maurois A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person-Mignon McLaughlin Carlisle's patient story is an old doctor joke, I can take no credit. Husband with a headache is all me, bbs. You want to talk hungry? I had ice chips for twelve hours.
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A/N: This is the first in a series of three outtakes done for FGB, whose generous nature has allowed me to publish them here for you all. What we have here is the back story of James, Victoria, and Abigail, revealing exactly what happened to them as well as how they met and ended up in the cabin, written in 3rd person. If it were its own story, it would listed as Angst/Tragedy, so please don't read if you're expecting fluff. We know how their story ends. There will be several more to come in the coming days. The Beginning The little bell over the door in the trailer rang as a young man stepped through, making Victoria catch her breath. He was a lot more handsome than any of the other guys working around this construction site and he wasn't eyeing her like a piece of meat, which was a refreshing change. "Good morning. How can I help you today?" His eyes never left hers as he walked forward slowly and outstretched his hand. "My name is James Harrison. I'm supposed to start working here today. I believe you have some paperwork for me to fill out, Ms...?" "Victoria. Victoria Sesen. I look forward to working with you, James." "I'm sure the pleasure will be all mine," he purred, lifting her hand up to his lips for a chaste kiss. o
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Days passed before Victoria got the chance to run into James again, but when she finally did, she was pleased to see his face light up with a breathtaking smile. Nervously, she checked quickly behind her to make sure he wasn't smiling at anyone else around before realizing they were completely alone in the parking lot. She was even more surprised when he drew her into him for a hug. "Oh! Um...hello, James," she laughed lightly. Pulling back, he chuckled in return. "Sorry for being so forward. Uh...I was just really excited to run into you. I've been trying to work up the nerve to ask you out, but so far, no luck," he smiled impishly. "So...was that you asking me out just now?" she asked coyly, fluttering inside that this handsome man wanted anything to do with her. "Depends," he began slowly. "Would you be saying yes or no?" She pretended to think about it, making him scowl and step back. "You know, if you want to turn me down, don't make me wait for it. I didn't peg you for the type to play a guy when he's putting his heart out there." Oh my God! she panicked inwardly. I'm already messing this up. "No, no, no! I'm sorry. Of course I want to go out with you James. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you." His eyes glittered with something, but before she could decipher it, it was gone. "Well, at least I'm not the only one. This Friday then?" Smiling, her only response was to write her address and phone number on his palm. He looked down at his hand, nodding and smiling in return. 7. Chapter 7 56
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"I'll be there at seven. Don't go accepting dates from any of these other losers, alright?" Laughing, she rolled her eyes. Like anybody else was knocking down her door for a date. When she glanced back at him, though, he wasn't smiling. "I'm serious. You're too pretty to share." Shaking her head quickly, her smile dropped. "No, no, I wouldn't." Nodding, a slow smile crept across his face. "See you Friday night, Vicki." With a quick kiss to her cheek, he was gone. "Bye," she whispered into the evening air. o Friday night, he was there, right at seven. She'd spent hours getting ready. Too short a dress, too easy, too long, too prudish... "You look really pretty, Vicki." "Thanks. So do you. Handsome, I mean, not pretty," she stammered. He smirked, guiding her by the elbow out of her apartment. Dinner was nice, nothing super fancy, but she hadn't expected it. She knew the salaries of the construction workers. He was a thorough gentleman, ignoring the flirtatious hostess, ordering for her at dinner, though she really would have preferred chicken over fish. She'd never meant to drink that much wine over dinner, but James didn't seem to mind. She was officially beyond tipsy by the time he'd paid the bill, guiding her out of the restaurant with his arm wrapped around her waist. "I had a great time tonight, Vic." 7. Chapter 7 57
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"Oh, I did too, James," she gushed. "Thank you for dinner. It was gre-" hiccough! "great," she finished, embarrassed. He laughed good-naturedly, squeezing her waist. "Probably better get you home now. You gonna let me take you out again?" She nodded quickly, her embarrassment forgotten. "I'd love that." He grinned, helping her into the car before climbing in himself to drive her back to her apartment. They walked hand-in-hand to her door, where he remained outside as she unlocked it. "Do...do you want to come in for a minute?" she asked nervously, afraid what he might think of her if she offered, but more afraid of him not calling again if she didn't. He shook his head slightly, smiling ruefully. "As much as I'd like to, I can't promise I'd behave myself. You look really good tonight and I really like you. I don't wanna mess it up. Maybe next time?" A girlish squeal sounded silently in her head, overjoyed that he was definitely planning on a next time and didn't think badly of her offering this time. He really liked her! "Sure, absolutely. Next time," she nodded quickly. When he leaned forward, she met him halfway, her arms wrapping around his neck, no hesitation as she opened her mouth to him. They kissed for several minutes, until she was breathless and wanting and he not looking any better. "Next time," he said, promise in his voice before jogging down the steps back down to the first floor and his car. She entered her apartment and locked the door behind her, proceeding to toss her purse somewhere in the shoebox she lived in and dancing about the room, little squeals and giggles bursting from her lips. Kicking 7. Chapter 7 58
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her shoes off, she skipped to the kitchen, pulling out a pint of ice cream from the freezer to celebrate the best first date of her life. She'd had such a long list of boyfriends, all of them after the same thing. There had been Riley the Jackhammer, Felix the Two-pump Chump, Demetri the Crier, Alec the Married...the list was endless. Not one of them had ever bothered to call her pretty. It was about time someone did. A knock at the door startled her and she tossed the spoon and ice cream in the sink before running to the door, shocked at who was on the other side. Did he change his mind about coming in? Or was he coming to tell her he didn't like her after all? Scared, she opened the door quickly for him and waited for him to speak. "I'm so sorry, Vicki, but I got back down to my car and it wouldn't start. I tried to take a look at it, but I don't know much about cars. If I try to call a tow truck this late at night, they'll charge me an arm and a leg. Is there any way I could rent out your couch for the night?" Overcome with relief, though slightly disappointed he didn't come back because he wanted to but was stuck, she nodded and waved him inside. "Of course, James! I might even be able to call my brother to take a look at it for you tomorrow, if you want. Come on in, I'll get you a drink," she smiled sweetly. "Thanks, Vic," he smiled, walking inside and taking a seat on the couch. "I'm really sorry about this." She grabbed a couple of beers out of the fridge and walked back over to him, sitting beside him on the couch. "There's nothing to be sorry about. Relax. I'm glad you're here." 7. Chapter 7 59
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He took a long pull from his beer before setting it down on the coffee table and turning to her. Taking her hands in his, he looked her straight in the eyes. "Vicki, do you believe in fate?" She shrugged. "I guess it depends on what we're talking about." Taking a deep breath, she watched him seem to struggle with his words. "It's just...I've never felt this much for somebody before in my life. And I know that sounds crazy because we just had our first date and now I'm camping out on your couch like a bum, but...I didn't want this date to be over and boom! It's...it's like fate's trying to tell me something. Like...not to let you go. I don't think I can. Ever. I never want to let you go. I really, really like you, Victoria." She blinked back tears, sniffling even as her face broke into a huge smile. "I really, really like you, too, James." The path from the couch to her bed was a blur of clothes and kisses, awkward fumbling with their hands as they learned each other all at once. As they settled into the bed, James hovering above her and positioned between her legs, she had a brief moment of clarity. "Condom," she gasped as he continued his assault with his mouth on her breasts. "Oh, baby, please," he begged. "I'll pull out, I swear, I just need to feel you, baby." She opened her mouth to protest, but he was already in and then he was moving and it felt too good to stop him. His hands were a bit rough on her body as he drove into her again and again, but at least he was paying attention to her clit enough that she was able to come right 7. Chapter 7 60
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"Oh my God!" she shrieked. "You didn't pull out! You jerk! What if I get pregnant? What if you have something?" "Vicki, calm down, please," he whispered. "Look, I swear to you I'm clean and I trust you. I...I didn't want to say anything before, because I was so...so fucking into you, but...I can't have kids, Vicki. You...I won't ever be able to give you kids." Sighing, he pulled out of her and sat up, searching blindly for his pants. "I understand if you want me to go," he mumbled. Confused, she sat up as well, grabbing the sheet to wrap around herself for a bit of modesty. "I don't understand, James. What do you mean you can't have kids?" He shrugged, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. "I...I was hurt a lot when I was younger, Vic. It was real bad. It's just what the doctors said. I'm sorry I wasn't up front with you about that. I...I knew I'd screw this up. I'm real sorry. I'll go." "No!" she exclaimed, grabbing his arm to keep him from leaving. It broke her heart to hear about him being hurt as a child. She knew plenty about that. The never-ending revolving door in her mother's home growing up had given her plenty of experience with pain and hurt. "That doesn't matter to me, James. Not at all. Please, stay. I want you to stay." His eyes slowly moved up to meet hers. "Really?" Smiling, she nodded and held her arms out for him. "Really." .o.o.o.o.o. 7. Chapter 7 61
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With the little redhead snoring into his side, James fiddled with the remote on her TV as he mused over the night's success. Ever since he'd seen her, he knew she'd be perfect for him. She was like a little skittish mouse, just begging for someone to teach her how to be. And it was about time he settled down. She'd be fun to teach, he decided. He'd tested her out a bit, wanting to see how she reacted when he spoke for her or corrected her, and she'd passed with flying colors. She was eager to please, and he was eager to be pleased. Tonight, he'd almost thought he'd be bored with her, when she fell for the old my-car-won't-start trick. All it took was a couple of one-liners and a bottle of wine and she was practically dripping all over him. But then she'd thrown that fit over the no condom thing and shown a little spunk. She'd be fun to break. He'd had to resist the urge to teach her right then, but the time wasn't right. She was still too independent. Disgusting. But it wouldn't take much, he could tell. A little sob story over his poor, pathetic upbringing had her in tears and it wouldn't be much longer before she was all his. The one truth he'd told her that night had also been the only warning she'd get from him. He was never letting her go. .o.o.o.o.o. A blissful six weeks had passed since that first date. Several more dates had come and gone, and she'd taken to spending the weekends at his place, until one day she realized she had more clothes at his house than her own apartment. The one thing that remained at her place, she realized with horror one morning as she got ready for work, were the untouched box of tampons under her bathroom sink. Thinking quickly, she did the math on her fingers. 7. Chapter 7 62
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No, no, no, no, she wondered. I couldn't be. He said he couldn't. Forgetting all about work, she ran to the corner pharmacy and grabbed three boxes off the shelf, one from each brand just in case. After purchasing them, she rushed to the bathroom in the store, shaking as she tore through the packaging. Three minutes later, she burst into tears. . Her eyes red-rimmed, her nose still running, she pulled into the parking lot at the site next to James' car. What would he do? Would he think she cheated? Would he be happy? This was some kind of miracle... Nervously, she met him in their little nook for lunch and with trembling hands gave him his sandwich. "Hey, Vicki. What's wrong, baby? You look like you've been crying," he asked in a rush, setting the sandwich down to pull her into his body. "I...I...I'm pregnant," she whispered, waiting for his reaction with her eyes clenched shut. "You're...what?" he breathed, his voice giving nothing away. "I'm pregnant," she said, a bit stronger this time. "And before you ask, it's yours. I haven't been with anyone since I met you, James, I swear." To her surprise, he laughed. "Aw, baby, of course you haven't. But are you sure?" Sniffling, she nodded. She was shocked when he lifted her up and hugged her tightly, laughing loudly. "This is great! I can't believe it! I'm going to be a dad!" 7. Chapter 7 63
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Pulling back from him, she searched his face, trying to figure him out. He didn't seem that shocked, but maybe he was just so happy it hadn't set in yet. "I'm so glad you're not upset. I was so worried," she admitted shyly. He surprised her with a fierce kiss that was followed by a hug so tight it almost hurt. "Of course I'm not, Vicki. This is the happiest day of my life. I'm going to take care of you. Both of you. Move in with me," he whispered into her neck. "Really?" she asked. She hadn't even thought about that yet. She hadn't had the chance to think about anything yet. Pulling back, he smiled at her. "Yeah. You're already at my place most of the time anyway. I wanted to ask you soon, I was just waiting for the right time. I didn't want you to feel like I was rushing you. Once I get you home with me, I'll never let you go," he smirked. She felt her eyes prick with tears at his sweet words. "I love you, James." A huge grin spread across his face before he enveloped her in a hug once more. "Aw, baby. I love you, too. I'm gonna take such good care of you, Vicki, I swear...Have you talked to the boss yet?" Confused, Victoria shook her head buried in his shoulder. "No. Do you think I need to tell him?" Gripping her shoulders gently, he shifted her away from him, his amused eyes locked on hers. "Baby, it's customary to let management know when you intend to quit." "Why would I quit?" she asked, completely at a loss. 7. Chapter 7 64
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His eyes narrowed slightly and his grip on her shoulders got just a tiny bit tighter. "Victoria," he began in a low voice. "You're pregnant. You need to take care of yourself so you can keep that baby healthy. And then once that baby's born, you're going to need to take care of it. I won't have a wife that abandons her baby at home." Her eyes widened as his sweet tone from moments before was replaced with menacing anger. Did he just say 'wife'? Did he really expect her to stay at home permanently? Even before she had the baby? She'd never really given motherhood much thought, she'd always assumed she'd date for a while, be married for a while, she thought she'd be much older when all this happened. And now it was all happening at once. "James," she whispered. "I like my job. I don't want to quit. At least not before the baby's born." His grip tightened to the point of pain as he shook her. "Are you kidding me, Vicki? What's so great about this job? You answer phones, for fuck's sake. Not a whole lot to love there, babe. What's the real reason? You got somebody else you can't stay away from? Is this baby even mine?" "Of course it is!" she cried. "James, I swear to you on everything I know that this is your baby! I just meant that I like to work. I like to feel useful. I wouldn't know what to do with myself all day at home before the baby's here." He stood silent, staring at her with unfathomable hatred. "James," she whimpered, scared. "You're hurting me." He blinked, and when he looked on her again the anger was gone, replaced with sorrow. He released her as if he'd been burned, taking 7. Chapter 7 65
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two long strides away from her. His eyes focused on the floor, he swallowed visibly before speaking in a pained whisper. "You don't think I can take care of you. But you're wrong. You'll see. I'll prove it to you." With that, he walked swiftly away, their lunch forgotten on the floor as Vicki buried her face in her hands and tried to figure out what just happened. o The next two days passed by in a blur as James ignored and avoided Victoria at all costs. All she wanted to do was find him and apologize, to talk this out with him and come to an agreement. After some thought, she realized she cared more about her relationship with him than her job, which as he pointed out wasn't the most amazing thing in the world anyway. But he wouldn't take her calls and he hadn't answered the door when she stopped by last night, not to mention he'd been working through lunch as well. She nearly fell out of her chair when she got to work Thursday morning and a note was waiting for her on her desk with her name on top, clearly James' handwriting. Vicki, I'm sorry, baby. Can we blame it on shock? I just want you to be happy. Meet me for lunch today? We should talk. 7. Chapter 7 66
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She sank back against her chair with a relieved sigh and stinging eyes. Lunch could not come soon enough. At one on the dot, she walked happily into their little nook, a little surprised when James was nowhere to be seen. A lunch spread was waiting for her in the middle of the room, so she wasn't worried, instead moving to the center of the area to wait for him patiently. The last thing she remembered seeing was a long shadow covering her own before everything went black. She awoke to the sounds of a machine beeping and her head pounding. Struggling to move, she realized quickly that it was impossible, due to the I.V. tethering one arm to a pole and the vice grip James had on her other. Glancing down at him as he slept, she tried to remember what had happened. Note, lunch, and then... Nothing. Looking around the room now for a hint, her eyes did a double take on her left leg that was bound in a large cast and suspended from a giant sling hanging down from the ceiling. She didn't feel any pain, but she suspected that had something to do with the I.V. What had happened? She felt confused and worried and tired and a little bit nauseous. The baby! she remembered with no small amount of alarm. She was in tears as her brother burst in, looking a bit frantic. "Vicki! Oh my God! I just heard; I got here as soon as I could," he panted, out of breath from clearly running to her aid. His eyes narrowed in on James, who had been jerked awake by the arrival of the intruder. 7. Chapter 7 67
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The men silently assessed each other, Laurent finding James to be adequate to the naked eye, but something off-putting in the venom he was shooting with his eyes Laurent's way. Sending Victoria a pointed look, she was too caught up in her worry for her baby to notice. "Are you in pain? Do you need the nurse?" She shook her head, turning to a seething James. "Is the baby okay?" James' curt nod was overshadowed by Laurent's shocked, "What?" After a moment, he seemed to recover himself and entered the room fully, pulling up a chair on the other side of the bed unoccupied by James. Ignoring the angry man completely, he took her hand in his and pleaded. "Vicki, please tell me what happened. I got a call from your work saying you'd been in an accident and now you're talking about babies and...who is this guy?" Not giving Victoria a chance to speak, James inserted himself into the conversation to establish his dominance in the situation. "There was an accident on the job. A loose beam came down and hit her in the head, making her fall down and break her femur. Our baby is fine and Victoria will be too, she just can't work and she's going to need some therapy to walk properly after the cast is off. I am her fianc and I don't know who the fuck you are, but if you don't take your hand off of her, I'm going to have to make you." Laurent's jaw had progressively dropped as James' speech went on, trying to absorb each nugget of information as he received it. Before he could speak, Victoria said quietly: "It's okay, James. This is Laurent, my brother that I was telling you about." Laurent waited for the anger to leave the man's face now that he could see his jealousy was unfounded, but it didn't. If anything, it flared when 7. Chapter 7 68
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Victoria spoke. Laurent recognized the signs of a man barely in control of himself and while he wanted to believe that the poor guy was probably just strung out and worried about his girlfriend and his baby, instinctively he knew there was more to it. And he didn't like it. Not one bit. "James, huh? She's never mentioned you. Well, James, would you mind giving me a moment alone with my sister?" Laurent's words were phrased as a question; his tone, a command. He watched the man closely, studying the tight muscles in his neck, his clenched jaw, the coldness of his eyes. James nodded jerkily, exiting the room in three quick strides, not even sparing a second glance at either Victoria or her brother. As soon as he turned the corner, he turned his worried eyes on Victoria. "Vicki, I don't like that guy. He's...he's not good." "What?" Victoria scoffed. "You have no idea what you're talking about. James has been perfect since day one. If I had just quit my job like he asked me to, I wouldn't even be here right now. He wants to marry me, Laurie. He makes me happy." Ignoring her, he continued to plead with her. "Vic, are you scared because of the baby? You don't have to be with him just because you're having a baby. I could take ca-" "You could what?" Victoria interrupted. "Take care of me, Laurie? Are you going to convert your crackhouse into a nursery? Or were you thinking we could just have the meth lab on one side of the room and the crib on the other? James has a decent job, a car, a house and he loves me and we're having a baby. That's all I need." Swallowing thickly and dropping his eyes in shame, he whispered: "I don't know how to do anything else, Vic. I know it's not honest money, but it's still money. I could help support you. You could keep your place. 7. Chapter 7 69
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I'm telling you, Vicki. James is bad news." Victoria couldn't believe what she was hearing. She hadn't intended to throw all this on him at once, but she never dreamt he wouldn't be happy for her once he found out. Five minutes with James and suddenly he was an expert on reading people? This was jealousy, pure and simple. She was getting the happiness that was denied them as kids and he couldn't take it. Jerk. "Laurent, I think it's time for you to go. I'll call you once I'm settled in at James'. Once you get over this...this ridiculous hate you have for him. I don't care if you approve or not. I'm a grown woman and this is my choice. James is my choice," she said firmly, removing her hand from his and looking away. Torn, Laurent stood, ignoring the lack of response when he leant down and hugged his sister. "Just know, whatever happens, I'm always here for you," he whispered. If he had known what lay in wait for Victoria in the coming months, he would have stolen her away to the ends of the earth.
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8. Chapter 8
Here is the second part of the series. Again, Angst/Tragedy. Scenes and references to violence below. The purpose of this outtake is to show the thin line between verbal and physical abuse, and how Victoria was beaten down in every way. If anyone is in this type of a relationship, please listen to the warning bells in your head and get out. The Middle Things were moving along smoothly, James thought as he made his way home from work that day. He hadn't even taken into account the worker's compensation checks that they would receive after Victoria's 'accident'. He smiled to himself as he remembered that day with fondness. She'd crossed the line that day when she refused to quit. He'd planned on continuing her slow training until he had her right where he wanted her, but she'd thrown him for a loop with the announcement of her pregnancy. It took him two whole days to figure out how to fix this problem she'd created by disobeying. It had been so simple it was almost laughable. Lure her in, surprise her from behind and knock her out. The only trouble he'd had was figuring out exactly how to incapacitate her without harming the baby. He had to force himself to remember that the child hadn't done anything to deserve his anger. This was Victoria's punishment and no one else's. Once she was unconscious on that floor, a wave of inspiration had struck him and he easily brought the beam down on her leg and snapped it. Problem solved.
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If only that brother was as easy to get rid of. He'd briefly considered just taking him out of the picture permanently, but he'd saved himself unknowingly when Victoria revealed that he was a dealer. Easy access to pain pills kept Victoria subdued, submissive even, something James needed right now to keep her from pissing him off. He'd intended to begin her physical training as soon as she was living with him, but he couldn't now because of the baby. He still found ways to have fun, though, taking her down, one peg at a time. It was always amusing to watch her fall all over herself when he'd berate her for the state of the house or her size. She was so quick to apologize now, so yielding to his power... Damn, he cursed as his pants tightened. He'd need a piece of that cunt tonight. .o.o.o.o.o. The months of her pregnancy were some of the most miserable of her life. She was so fat, so useless. All she ever did was anger James. She couldn't do anything right and it was getting frustrating. The pills helped, but she wondered how much longer she'd be able to get away with taking them. She hadn't had any pain from her leg for a while, but she'd get fidgety and nauseous if she didn't keep up with her doses. After the baby was born and she'd recovered from the birth, she decided. o She would never forget that night for the rest of her life. How could she have failed him so badly? He'd given her every chance, she knew. He sat down with her and explained that things weren't working out as they were. He couldn't take coming home to such filth and chaos when he worked so hard for the three of them. She was forcing his hand. 8. Chapter 8 72
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From now on, there would be real consequences if she disobeyed and he'd given her every warning. Yet still, she failed. Between missing meals to hurry up and lose the baby weight so she wouldn't be so unappealing to James' eyes and her increased doses of the oxy, she'd forgotten to make dinner entirely. He worked all day and came home to nothing but a colicky, screaming baby and a crying, pathetic cow of a wife. She'd earned every single one of those lashes with the belt that night. o "Ma-ma. Ma-ma, o-tay?" "Oh yes, baby. Mama's just fine," Victoria lied, hiding her wince as she sat down. Last night had been particularly brutal. She could be so stupid sometimes. How many times did he have to tell her to have dinner ready by six? He'd been hard at work all day, and all he wanted was to come home to a clean house, a happy family and a hot meal. Instead, he'd come home to a screaming toddler who was finally getting her last molars, standing in a puddle of urine while supper burned on the stove. He'd barely even closed their door before he began. She'd lost count how many licks of the belt she got after sixteen. I'm lucky he didn't make me start over, she shuddered. Instead, he'd just taken her roughly before sending her to calm down Abby, who was crying for her mama. She'd been having more and more nightmares lately, forcing Victoria to sleep with her so James' rest wouldn't be disrupted. At least with her daughter she could sleep in peace. She was always so terrified to sleep with James now, never knowing if she'd accidentally kick him or wake him up if she needed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. He didn't take kindly to being woken abruptly. He'd wake up in a strange state and he wouldn't even realize that he had struck her with his palms 8. Chapter 8 73
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or fists. And then he'd feel so bad afterwards. She just couldn't do anything right. o She ran for their bedroom, locking herself and Abigail inside while James pounded and screamed through the door. This was too much. It had to stop. He'd crossed the line. What was he thinking? Hitting her while she was holding Abby? He could have struck her! "Get under the bed, Abby," she commanded, to which the little girl obeyed immediately, tiny tears pouring out of her eyes. With shaking fingers Victoria dialed nine-one-one, her voice a trembling whisper. "Nine-one-one. What is your emergency?" "Please. Please help me. My husband. He's really drunk and he's mad and he just won't stop. Please help me." "Ma'am? I need you to tell me your location." "Fourteen-twenty Madison Drive, um, Sequim. Please. Hurry. He's going to break down the door," she cried, her voice rising to be heard over James' continued pounding and screams. "Alright, ma'am. I have a unit being dispatched immediately. I'll stay on the phone with you until the police get there. Do you need medical attention?" Looking down at her battered body sadly, her chin quivered. "Yes." "Can you tell me what your injuries are?" 8. Chapter 8 74
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"Everywh-" She was cut off as James burst through the door, wearing nothing short of pure murder on his face. "Who the fuck are you talking to? What the fuck are you doing in here?" he screamed as he ran to her, ripping the phone out of the wall and throwing it across the room. When flashing lights began to stream in through the window, he ceased his beating immediately. "You called the fucking cops?" he hissed. He never thought she'd be that brave. Thinking quickly, he covered her with his body to hold her still. Leaning down to whisper in her ear, he delivered her the foulest, most atrocious threat a human being could ever dare. Blinking at him in shock, she wanted to shake her head in disbelief. She wanted to argue, to deny, she wanted to fucking scream. But she didn't bother doing any of those things, because she knew he wasn't lying, wasn't bluffing, wasn't even really threatening. He was promising her. And in that moment, for the first time, she saw him for what he always was. A monster. Silently, she nodded her understanding, her cooperation, her submission, her surrender. He rose off of her and took her with him to answer the door. o The coming weeks were brutal as Victoria paid for her transgression. The money it cost to pay James' bail was repaid through lost food. She couldn't remember when she last ate anymore. The pills only dulled the pain, which was a constant companion to her now. Every time Children's Protective Services left for a routine visit, she paid the price for their intrusion. 8. Chapter 8 75
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She almost missed the days of the belt. Anything was useful as a punishing tool now. It only depended on the room they happened to be in when she pissed him off. In the kitchen, knives were used to cut shallow, stinging marks or the stove for a punishing burn. In the living room, she could find herself being slapped with a book or shoved into a table. The bedroom...in the bedroom were the worst of his punishments. Nothing was worse than what he did to her in there. Forcing her to 'fight' to get him excited, only to punish her for the struggle in the cruelest and most beastly of ways. But she bore it all, with patience and pain, still struggling to the last strings of hope that she might find a way out someday.
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9. Chapter 9
This is the last of the three. There will be more outtakes to come from TINML, but no more from JPOV. We will be seeing a few from Charlie, Lily and some missing scenes in EPOV and BPOV. They're not all sad and angsty, I promise! And again, if you know or are in an abusive relationship, please get out. The point of these outtakes is not to glorify what happened to this family in any way. If it offends you, please don't read. Serious Kleenex warning. The End "Laurie, he's moving us soon. We're running out of time," Victoria whispered frantically, one eye on her daughter playing on the floor and another on the door, waiting for James' return. "I just need a little more time," he begged, the haunted glaze in his sister's eyes slicing through his chest like a knife. "I have to do two more runs across the border and then I'm out of it, Vic. I've got enough saved up to keep us on the run for a while until we settle somewhere safe and I can get a real job. But we'd never make it if we had James and my boss on our asses. You know that." "You don't understand," she cried, shaking. "She turns five this year. You don't...he's going to start...please, Laurie. We can't wait anymore." "Vicki," he whimpered, pulling her into his arms. "Just a little longer. I'm sorry." He held her as her shaking slowly ceased, until her body almost went limp. Pulling back, he waited for her to meet his eyes, only to see hers completely blank.
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"I'm going to need you to leave extra this time, then," she said simply, no emotion. "Okay. Anything," he quickly agreed, reaching into his bag and emptying his stash into her lap. She rose silently, taking the pills into her and Abby's room, returning a few moments later. She remained standing, clearly dismissing him. Walking over to her, he embraced her once more, rocking them back and forth. "Vicki, I promise. Just let me get through these two runs. The second I get back, we'll be gone. He'll never find us. Never. I'll keep you safe, I swear." "What. The. Fuck?" James' irate voice screamed, having snuck in through the back door. He'd been wondering what these two were up to for a while now, but he never thought she'd try and pull this shit again. She obviously hadn't learned her lesson the last time she tried to leave him. Startled and more than terrified, Victoria rushed forward, placing herself between Laurent and James. "James, please. Ab-" The force of his backhand sent her flying, landing on the floor next to their daughter. Looking up into the terrified, tearful eyes of her little girl, Victoria whispered: "Abby. Run to your room. Wait for me there." Abby's chin shook as she ran to her room, slamming the door shut behind her. The sounds of some shuffling could be heard as the little girl assumed her hiding spot under the bed. James stalked forward to continue his attack, but Laurent rushed him, taking him to the ground with his shoulder in James' stomach.
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"Motherfucker," James wheezed, recovering quickly and bucking Laurent off of him. He became a man possessed then, any and everything within reach a weapon, any and everywhere on Laurent game. Victoria watched in horror as James beat Laurent within an inch of his life, until there was nothing left of him but a bloodied, bruised, breathless shell. James tossed him by his collar outside the house, past the porch and onto the filthy ground. "I bought a new toy today, Laurie," he spat. "And unless you want me to use it on you, you'll leave now and never come back. Stay away from my wife and daughter. As far as you're concerned, they're dead. Never existed. Stay the fuck away. Forever." Laurent barely had the strength to crawl on his hands and knees to the car. As he glanced in the rearview mirror, he had no idea that that would be the last time he saw his sister alive. Turning back towards Victoria, who still lay on the ground cowering in fear, James cocked his head to the side. Quietly, he closed the door and walked out of the living room into the kitchen, only to reappear a moment later, holding a new, very large, black gun. "I don't think we'll be using the belt tonight, Vicki," he said softly. o This was it. He'd really done it. After all these years, Victoria now sat in the living room of her new home. Their new home. James' precious cabin. He'd helped himself to extra lumber and pipes from construction sites over the years, building this place from the ground up. It would have been an incredible feat any woman would be proud of her husband for, if she didn't know what it really was underneath the brick and the pine.
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She was going to die here. She knew that now. The only question was how. By his hand or her own? And Abigail...If she could go back and redo one thing in her life, it would have been to walk away the day James shook her and never looked back. She could have gone on welfare, raised her baby alone, poor but safe. Instead, she fell right into his trap. She realized it now, hindsight being twenty/twenty and all of that. All the little warning bells that should have tinkled, clanged and pealed in her head went ignored, until she found herself apologizing to him. For anything and everything. The baby's crying. I'm sorry, James. There's no more beer. I'm sorry, James. The boss wrote me up today. I'm sorry, James. She wasn't sure what had made her snap out of it. Maybe all the times Laurie tried to warn her finally got through. Maybe it was the day he beat her black and blue for having a cold. Maybe it happened the week he didn't let her eat a crumb. Maybe it was the day that he explained that he would begin training her baby on her fifth birthday. Actually, she did know. That one day, that one threat, that one promise that she could never let happen. Victoria sat and watched her daughter practice her writing, trying to memorize every single little detail of her precious face to take with her into the next life. Surely, for bringing her daughter into this life she would be damned for eternity. That was fine. She had long since been 9. Chapter 9 80
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convinced she deserved no better. But her baby...surely God couldn't turn away a little angel like her. And even if Victoria weren't going to hell for everything she'd done before now, she was definitely going to be on the fast track for what she was about to do. "Abby?" "Yeah, Mama?" "Would you like to help me make some applesauce for a secret snack?" Abby's eyes lit up immediately, her writing forgotten. "Are you gonna eat some, Mommy?" A pained smile spread across her face as she heard the concern in her daughter's voice. "I sure am, baby. You and me are going to eat the whole thing before Daddy even gets home." Ecstatic, Abby rushed into the kitchen, waiting patiently for her mother to join her. "What do I do, Mommy?" "Start peeling the apples for me? And I'll start mixing the sugar and stuff over here," she smiled, her eyes drinking in her daughter's happy stance for the last time. "'Kay," she replied, and set to work quickly. Victoria slipped into their bathroom silently, pulling out her secret stash of oxycodone, the product of weeks of extra pain and limited relief, all leading to this moment. Setting the bag on the floor, she turned the faucet in the sink on to muffle the sound of her shoes crunching the pills to a fine powder. Once satisfied, she turned off the water and made her way back to the kitchen, where her absence had gone unnoticed by Abby. 9. Chapter 9 81
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Quickly, Victoria emptied the bag into a mixing bowl, covering it quickly with a huge amount of sugar. As they let the apples cook, she held her daughter in her lap, running her fingers through her pretty red curls. When the timer beeped, her heart skipped a beat. Almost time. Abby was oblivious to the torment her mother was suffering, chattering away in the peace she only had when her father wasn't home. They mixed and laughed together until they had two perfect bowls, just enough for the two of them. Sitting down at the table together, Victoria reached over and stroked her daughter's cheek lovingly. "I love you, Abby." "Love you too, Mama." And then they ate. Afterwards, they left their dirty bowls in the sink. Victoria would never wash his dishes again. They crawled into bed, as Abby complained of feeling a little funny and tired. "You don't hurt or feel sick, do you, baby?" "No, Mama," she yawned. "I think I just wanna nap, 'kay?" Abby's eyes were already closed, so she didn't see the tears that fell from her mother's. "Goodbye, baby." And then they slept. Abby would never wake up again. .o.o.o.o.o. He tangled with the multiple locks, grumbling to himself as the key got stuck in the deadbolt. If his wife wasn't such an untrustworthy bitch, he 9. Chapter 9 82
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wouldn't have to resort to such measures. He'd need to add it to her list of transgressions, the tally of which would surely be large once he got inside. He could already see it now. Her strung-out face and sunken eyes, the house a wreck...if she hadn't given him such a perfect child he'd probably have already gotten rid of her. Wife number two would definitely need to prove herself as a cook before he took her in, he decided. Walking into the house, he was instantly struck with the silence of it all. His anger at the dirty dishes in the sink was pushed aside as he realized there wasn't even a hint of dinner anywhere at work in the kitchen and no sound to alert him to his family's presence. Goddamn woman, he swore. If she took off again, I'll kill her this time. He stormed through the house, throwing their bedroom door open with a slam. Only adding to his ire, neither one of them moved at the sound. "What the fuck, Vicki?" he screamed at the top of his lungs. Nothing. Victoria lay curled around his little girl in a spooning position, her arms wrapped protectively around the child, both of them sound asleep. As always, the sight of his little girl warmed him, his instincts at war within himself. She was so sweet laying there, so innocent, but he knew it was up to him to make sure she was raised properly. He'd grown up seeing what became of the women that didn't. His biological mother, the picture of disobedience, asking for punishment at every turn. His foster mother, who never listened to his pleas for help and always turned a blind eye to the pain his foster father caused him. The next one after her, the one that loved everyone unconditionally, like the nave, stupid cunt she was. 9. Chapter 9 83
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No. As hard as it would be, Abby would understand in time. This was the only way to be. Now, if they'd only wake up... "Jesus fucking Christ, Victoria! You haven't even started dinner!" Nothing. Curious, he walked closer to them, eyeing them carefully. He couldn't remember a time when his voice didn't immediately make Victoria jump. Were they trying to play some kind of game? He wasn't in the mood for this. He was pissed off and tired and hungry. "Quit this shit!" he yelled, shoving Victoria who rolled against Abby's body limply. Abby's small form didn't even twitch, sparking a burning feel of dread in his stomach. Walking around the bed quietly, James approached his little girl cautiously. "Abby?" Nothing. Worried now, he sat beside her and tried to shake her awake. "Abby. C'mon, baby. It's time to wake up." Nothing. Growing frantic now, he shook her more violently. Still, she didn't wake. Trying to understand what was happening, his mind registered the clamminess of her skin, the pale, blue color of her lips. His chest was heaving, but hers was still... She wasn't breathing. There was no heartbeat beneath the fingertips he had pressed deeply into her skin. Horrified, he jumped away from her immediately, exiting the room and grasping the sides of his head in pain. What was happening? What was this? Staggering through the kitchen, he braced himself on the counter 9. Chapter 9 84
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and looked unknowingly down on the ingredients from some contraband meal. He felt the plastic underneath his fingertips and recognized the bitter smell of pills. What the fuck? Rubbing one finger inside the bag, he brought it to his mouth to taste, the realization pouring down on him at a speed that was dizzying. Taking in the mess of the kitchen, in that instant, he knew. She killed his little baby. She took her pills and killed his little baby. That admission almost sent him crumbling to his knees. His little girl, she was... He ran back to the room, pulling her up from the bed. She couldn't be gone. She was supposed to be the one chance he had to make up for all the wrong he'd done. She was going to learn and be taught properly from the beginning, so she could be something worth being proud of. But holding her still form in his arms, he knew. She was gone. And he couldn't stand the thought of her rotting away in the ground. He couldn't watch her body be burned to ash in a furnace. That left only one place. Rushing to the laundry room, he threw open the deep freezer to lay her comfortably inside. Here, she could stay intact. Here, she would not decompose. Here, she would remain his baby. Closing the lid as reverently as he would a coffin, he was almost overtaken by the sorrow he felt, until he remembered there was one more body in the house to take care of. His teeth bared, he stormed back into the bedroom and threw Victoria's body from the bed. The violence gave him no satisfaction... Until he heard a faint groan. .o.o.o.o.o. 9. Chapter 9 85
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He awoke with a start, almost sliding down the washing machine in his incoherency. His head was pounding, probably due in no small part to the empty bottle of whiskey next to him. Motherfucker, he cursed. Rubbing his hands in his eyes, he pulled them back quickly when he felt wetness there. Looking down at his hands, he realized they were covered in blood. Taking in his surroundings, he realized there was a lot of blood. On the floor, on the wall, on the freezer? Since when was there a padlock on the freezer? He stood up to investigate, but stopped himself at the last second. Something bad was in there, he could feel it in his bones. Closing his eyes, he tried to figure out what was going on. Flashes played through his mind at random, Abby playing, Abby sleeping, pills, a fight, Victoria...She left! She took off again and this time she got away! Running through the house, his worst suspicions were confirmed. She hadn't taken anything, but she and Abby were long gone. The cabin was a wreck, blood spattering the walls, furniture knocked over, vomit on the floor. And now he didn't even have his fucking wife here to do her job. Jesus, he was going to make her pay for this one. But first, he had to clean this shit. o He tried to track down Laurent first, because he knew that was where she would go. But the asshole appeared to have completely dropped off the radar. He checked every one of his old haunts, but there was no sign of him. He'd been drifting through Kent when he saw the perfect replacement vehicle for him. A nice, big, black van. He could transport everything from food to firewood to bitch wives that were going to be taught a lesson. It was fairly easy to subdue the old man and lose his old Nissan in the dump. It'd be months before anybody found him and by then, James planned to be warm and tucked away with his family where they belonged. 9. Chapter 9 86
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As the weeks went on, he began to feel a bit discouraged. Where the hell could they be? It's not like she had any money. She had no family except for her stupid brother and he was completely MIA. One night, he decided to nurse his sorrows away at a shitty dive bar in Port Angeles. He found a dark corner and slithered in, alternating between shots of cheap whiskey and beer. Keeping his eyes down and minding his own business, he glanced up annoyed at the cackle coming from one of the barflies. Only this barfly wasn't just any girl. Victoria! He stumbled over to her drunkenly, turning her around only to be met with a stranger. "Sorry," he slurred. "Thought you were somebody else." She looked him up and down seductively once before smirking. "Sugar, buy me a drink and I'll be whoever you want me to be." Six shots and three beers later, James had replacement-Victoria pinned against the brick wall of the alley behind the bar, grinding roughly against her. "C'mon, baby. Fuck me," she purred in his ear as she reached for his fly. And he wanted to. He wanted to fuck her next to that dumpster like the filthy whore she was until her back was bleeding and she was begging him to stop. But...nothing was happening...down there. This didn't make sense. If there was nothing else James Harrison was good at, he was good at fucking and punishing. This didn't happen to him. He was a real man. And he'd be damned if he'd be humiliated in front of trash like this. "Fuck that," he panted, shoving away from her roughly. "Too easy for my tastes, baby."
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It took the woman a moment to recover herself before her jaw dropped in disgust. "Fuck you, asshole!" she spat, raising her arm back to slap him. He caught her wrist easily and had her pressed painfully hard against the brick almost instantaneously. His eyes almost glowed black as he held her frightened frame angrily, her body completely helpless against his strength. "Well, well, well, tiger," he laughed mockingly. "I wish I could say you're going to live to regret that..." he trailed off, running his tongue up her cheek to lick up the tears streaming down. "But you're not," he whispered, his voice a taunt, his grip a promise. One hand slid up her body like a snake until he reached her throat and began to squeeze. And then the back door to the bar slammed open as one of the bartenders walked out a bag of trash. "Hey! No fucking back here! Take it home, folks!" he shouted, waiting to see the two supposed lovers take a hike. James dropped her on the dirty asphalt and walked away without a backwards glance. o He began working on some improvements to the cabin when no other leads to their whereabouts emerged. Obviously there were some flaws to his planning if she was able to get away. Bars were added to the windows, more locks, and the pantry was coming along nicely. The next time she walked through that front door, she'd never be walking out again.
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The last thing he had to take care of before resuming his search fulltime was her drug supply. He hadn't monitored her last time, a clear mistake. This time it would be up to him to administer the doses to keep her properly subdued. He scoped out a few different locations, finally deciding on a small hole-in-the-wall drugstore in the middle of a busy city. Tacoma would be perfect. He didn't think she'd ever be brave enough to leave Washington, so he just worked his way through major cities to find her. As dumb as he knew she was, he knew even she wasn't stupid enough to be in a little town. His first day in Seattle hadn't turned up anything, but it was a big place. Pulling into a grocery store lot, he decided to call it a day and grab a pack of smokes. There was no rush. He had nothing but time. And that brings us to Chapter 1 of TINML. I hope it answered any remaining questions you might have had about their story. First ChPOV will post on Monday.
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A/N: This is the missing scene where Charlie finds out Bella has been kidnapped. It's sad, so tissue warning. I swear they won't all be sad, but we have a few more to get through before it's happy times again. Next outtake will be posted Friday. ChPOV: The Phone Call (July 17th) "No!" I screamed at the TV, when the stupid ump called strike. If that was a strike, I'll eat my hat. The phone started ringing in the kitchen, so I set my beer down to make my way in there. Still pissed at the bad call, I answered gruffly, in no mood for telemarketers. "Chief Swan speaking." "Chief Swan? Charles Swan?" a stern voice asked. That got my attention. Nobody called me Charles, 'cept idiots that didn't know me. Irritated already, I was brisk. "Yes." "Mr. Swan, this is Detective Jonathan Aro with the Seattle Police Department." His voice was hesitant, but all I wanted to believe is that they needed help with a case. Clearing my throat, I was a little less curt. "What can I help you with, Detective?" "Sir, I regret to inform you that I'm calling about your daughter, Isabella Swan." 10. Chapter 10 90
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My hands shaking, I struggled to keep the phone at my ear. "Well? Spit it out already!" "Sir...sir, she's been kidnapped. She was taken from the Whole Foods Market earlier this evening at-" "What precinct are you at?" I interrupted crossly. "Four, sir," he answered immediately. "I'll be there in two hours," I snapped, hanging up the phone, knocking it off the wall with my force. Running upstairs to my room, I grabbed my badge, gun and wallet, stumbling into my boots as I ran back down to the cruiser. I turned the lights on before it was even in drive, trying to call my deputy to let him know I'd be taking an indefinite leave of absence. After four tries of dialing my cell, I realized my fingers were too shaky to get the job done. I threw it onto the floorboard, picking up the radio to call dispatch. "Sandy, Chief Swan, calling in. Over." A crackle, and then her scratchy voice came through. "This is dispatch. What's your ten-four, Chief?" "Sandy, I'm in Seattle until further notice. Eric's in charge. Only call me for emergencies, understand? Over." There was a bit of silence, until her voice came back on. "Charlie? What's going on?" "Bel...Bells...she...kidnapped." I couldn't even say it out loud. Somewhere, I realized she copied that and got off, but I was already pulling off the highway, not two seconds 10. Chapter 10 91
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after getting on. I barely made it out of the car before I was puking everywhere, the thought that it was the last of the lasagna she made for me on her last visit even sicker. There was this pain in my chest that ached, but it didn't feel like what a heart attack should. I'd seen my friend Harry die a few years back, and that's not what this was. I punched at it in vain, trying to make it stop, but the longer I sat there, doin' nothing but be sick when I should be looking for my baby, it got worse. I wiped my mouth off with my sleeve and trudged back to the cruiser, where the engine was still running and the lights were still blaring. The entire drive there was excruciatingly painful, only my thoughts to keep me company. Should've never let her move away. Should've kicked Jacob out of Forks instead. Should've visited her more. Could've been there with her today. It never would've happened. Who the hell would do this? A crazy fan? A stalker? She always was a pretty girl...Never told her enough. Never told her anything nice. Couldn't even tell her I loved her first. Barely even hug her anymore. She's always been so brave. Did she cry for me? Goddamnit, I'm gonna be sick again. Disgusted with myself for being weak, I pulled off into the emergency lane, throwing up again into the trees, mostly dry heaves at this point. It was a waste of time to be letting my nerves get the best of me when I had somewhere to be. 10. Chapter 10 92
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I roared as loud as I could as the pain in my chest grew again, almost burning me from the inside out. "Why! Why her! Take me instead! I'll do anything!" I screamed, picking up a nearby rock and throwing it at the sky. It landed with a thud a few feet away, and all I felt was defeat. I'd never been a religious man, but I could change that in a heartbeat if that would make a difference for my baby. "Please," I rasped, looking up at the sky again. "Please, if there's anybody or anything up there. Please let her be okay. She's...she's a good person. One of the only good ones on this planet. She doesn't deserve this. Please let her come back to me, let me find her...I need the chance to tell her I love her. She has her whole life ahead of her. She deserves to find a good man, get married, have a bunch of little Bella-babies that look just like her...Please, if you have to take me in her place, I'll do it. I'm old, I've lived my life...Take me, let her go...And, uh, I'd like the chance to kill the guy before you take me, if that's at all possible. Er...Amen." I tried to copy that cross thing that my mom had done when I was a kid, but I wasn't sure I got it quite right. Didn't matter. If I had to throw up on myself, I wasn't getting out of that car again until I reached the precinct. About half and hour out, my phone started ringing, and I stupidly hoped it was Bella. "Bells?" I asked hopefully. "Charlie!" my ex-wife's sobbing voice screamed through the speaker. "Did you hear? Did they call you? Have you heard from her? Do you know any-" "Charlie, um, hi, this is Phil. I'm assuming you've already been contacted?" 10. Chapter 10 93
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I sighed heavily, nodding and then catching myself. This wasn't Skip or Sky or whatever it was Bella bought me for Christmas last year. Goddamnit, thinking her name hurts so bad. "I'm on my way to Seattle now, Phil. Did you just receive the call?" "Just got home from a game and got the message. Can't get a flight out until later tonight. We'll be there in the morning, first thing. Is there...Can we..." I could tell he genuinely didn't know what to do with himself, Renee's crushing sobs ringing in the background, probably distracting him. "Phil, we'll figure it out in the morning. Go on and tend to her. Call me when you get in." "Will do, Charlie...We'll get her back." I coughed uncomfortably, given this was probably the longest I'd ever spoken to Phil in the eight years since he married Renee. "Yeah...Uh...Bye." I hung up before he could respond, not able to take another second of Renee's wails in the background. I'd long since gotten over any romantic-type feelings for Renee, but we had a lifelong connection in Bella and it still pained me to hear her cry like that. The way I wanted to right now, too. I found the precinct without too much trouble, ignoring some pointed looks from the other cops standing outside and smoking as I pulled into the cops' lot. Walking in, the tired officer showed me to the situation room, which would have been easy enough to find with all the noise going on back there.
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"Can I help you, sir?" a weary-looking officer asked, dressed in plainclothes. "I'm Charlie Swan..." I began, cutting off as his eyes opened wide. "You weren't kidding about that two hours," he muttered under his breath. Holding out his hand, he shook mine firmly. "Detective Jonathan Aro, you can call me Jon." "Charlie," I repeated, just for polite measure. "Tell me what you've got." "This way," he gestured, leading me to the board. A picture of a strung-out looking man was at the top, obviously the perp. "You got an ID?" I asked immediately, memorizing his face. One bullet, that's all I'd need. Or maybe a dull spoon and some rope... He shook his head apologetically. "We've got a partial print, that's all. It's running now. Abduction occurred just before six p.m. this evening. She was taken along with a minor child." "A child? Whose child?" I asked incredulously. "I'll let my partner fill you in on his case," he explained, motioning to another detective walking up to us. "Marcus Scotts," he offered with a shake of his hand. "I'm officially in charge of Lily Cullen's case, but we're working in tandem together for this one. Her family already gave me permission to discuss it with you, and with yours, I'd like to be able to fill them in on yours as well." "Of course," I agreed automatically. "Anything to get this case solved quickly." "Lily Cullen, age 4. Daughter of Edward Cullen. Mother unknown at this time. Mr. Cullen and his daughter were grocery shopping together when 10. Chapter 10 95
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the abduction took place. She and your daughter were taken at gunpoint. Mr. Cullen suffered a panic attack and had to be sedated. I'm about to head over to his house now to wait for him to wake up and inform him of the situation." Poor man. Had to watch his baby taken away right in front of his eyes. "And what is the situation at this time? What do you know?" "Not much," Jon sighed. "We're running the plates, but they're not coming up yet. It's a waiting game. His picture's all over every news channel, his prints are running through our database now, the hotline's set up, but all the calls are from the news channels. Border Patrol's on the lookout, Highway Patrol, but so far...nothing." I sagged into a chair, looking around for a distraction, something I could do to be helpful. "Where can I get a cup of coffee?" I needed something to clear my head a bit. "Masen!" Marcus shouted at a random officer. "Bring Chief Swan here a cup o' joe!" "Thanks," I nodded wearily in gratitude. "So where's your media people? Anyone calling for interviews yet? She's...she's pretty well known, as much as I hate to use that to an advantage, I'm not above it. We can make sure they give just as much screen time for the little girl, too." "She was on vacation, but she's on her way back now to handle the case personally. She should be here by morning to devise a plan. We've contacted Mrs. Dwyer-"
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"I know, I spoke with her and Phil on the way here. They'll be here in the morning." "Right," Jon nodded. "Is there anybody else we can call for you?" "No...We're all we've got," I swallowed, looking away briefly. "Can we go through the standard?" Jon asked, holding up a statement form. I sighed, rubbing my face roughly and taking a big swig of the nasty department coffee before nodding. "Alright, do you know of anyone who may wish Ms. Swan harm?" "There's no one. She keeps to herself for the most part, visits me once a month, sees her friend Angela once a week. That's it." "So no boyfriends? Jealous exes? Crazed fans?" I shook my head, Jacob's dog-ugly face flashing in my mind for only a second. "No, no boyfriends, at least none she wanted to talk to me about. Might ask her mother or Angela, I dunno. As far as exes go, she's just got one and that's not him. And he wouldn't do something like that. I'm no fan of his, but even I know that. Crazies...I admit I wondered the same on the way here. But I think she would have told me if that were somethin' she was dealin' with. And she's never made any mention to me." "Well, I'm heading out to the Cullens. I'll fill you in as soon as there's something to tell," Marcus spoke as he stood, grabbing a folder off his desk. I nodded absently to him, returning my attention to Jon as he fidgeted.
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"I didn't think so. We're not sure exactly who we're dealing with, but there's something else you should know. In the grocery store, during the abduction, he referred to them as Victoria and Abigail. Bella as Victoria to be specific. He...was very adamant from what we understand from the other witnesses we spoke to that she wasn't allowed to identify herself as anything else," he spoke quickly and I knew right away he was leaving something out. Probably to spare me. I'd done it myself for families dozens of times. "Do you have security footage?" I asked briskly, already knowing he did. "Look, Charlie, yes, we do, but I don't think it's a good idea for you t-" "I'm a grown man. I don't need you telling me what I need. Let me see it," I demanded, standing and looking around the room. He gauged the look on my face carefully, nodding in defeat when he realized I wasn't backing down. Opening the laptop on his desk, he tapped a few keys before turning it toward me. "A witness placed the 911 call by hitting the emergency button on their phone and setting it down on a shelf. It took us a while to bounce the signal off a tower. We could hear the commotion, but we had no idea whether he was still inside when law enforcement arrived. Mr. Cullen actually came outside to speak with the officers at the scene." "I thought you said he collapsed?" I interrupted. Jon shook his head. "That was after he'd helped them assess the situation. From what I understand, he tried to call his parents and..." "How old is this guy?" I wondered. Jon was makin' him sound like a teenage dad. "Twenty-eight. I believe his parents help him with his daughter while he works," he explained. 10. Chapter 10 98
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Poor bastard. That's a real man that'll take care of his daughter alone. I shook my head at my thoughts. "Alright. Play it." So I watched. I watched my baby girl laugh with that cute little kid, I watched her jump away from that crazy bastard when he started shooting up the grocery store. I twitched in my seat as I watched him backhand my baby. Jon was right. As soon as I saw him put the gun in her mouth, I was done. I choked up nasty coffee and bile and maybe even a little blood and acid into his trashcan, that image burning itself into my brain for eternity. I was a small-town cop. I didn't see that kind of violence often, and never did I want to see it with my own daughter. This...this was every parent's worst nightmare come to life and...my baby. I was seeing flashes behind my eyelids. How tiny she was the day she was born, how scared I'd been to hold her. The first drooly kiss she gave me, her first tooth, her first steps...all the firsts I saw only in pictures, once Renee took her away. I was sick with myself, thinking of all those fishing trips I took when I could've been home with her, the times I took the extra shift at work instead of letting somebody else handle it. He helped lead me to a bathroom to splash some water on my face, not saying anything about my episode. I was glad for that, because I was wound up tight and would love to have somebody to unleash upon some of this pain I was feeling. We stayed there for a while until I felt better, walking back into quite the commotion in the situation room. "What's going on?" he asked anybody around. "Tacoma PD just sent in a security video from a pharmacy robbery three weeks ago. It's got our guy," one of the officers explained, already setting up Jon's laptop. "Scotts just called. The Cullens are coming in." 10. Chapter 10 99
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We watched as the perp terrorized the pharmacists, lining them up against a wall. He clearly had a power complex as he took pleasure in making them cry and piss themselves, laughing at them. We watched as he very carefully selected bottles from the shelves, tossing them into a bag. Before Jon could even ask, a list was being handed to him. His face was grim as he handed it to me, pointing to the last line. Oxycontin. He took every last pill in stock, but he didn't look like a druggie. My jaw clenched as I imagined what he was using them for. Son-of-a-bitch was gonna drug my baby. Maybe even that little one, too. A dull spoon it would be, asshole. I gave it back to him and stood, my hands shaking. "Let me help with the hotlines for a bit. I...I need to not think about that, what I saw..." "Come with me, Charlie," Jon stood as well, motioning me back to the row of phones. We worked on the phones together for minutes, hours, I didn't know, but after a while, he motioned for a couple of officers to come take our place as he stood. "The Cullens are here, Charlie," he explained softly, jerking his chin toward the large group of people huddled around Marcus's desk. One of them I recognized right away. The dad from the video. Edward Cullen. For a split second, I wanted to be angry at him. I wanted to scream at him for letting that monster take my little girl. But as we were introduced, any chance I had to hold onto that hate vanished. "Edward. Edward Cullen, Lily's dad," he barely choked out, his voice cracking and his chin quivering, his hand shaking slightly in mine.
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This was a man who watched his life ripped away from him, right in front of his eyes. And I was a smart enough man to know he couldn't've done anything to stop him. This was a man torn apart, everything I was feeling reflected back at me in his face. At that moment, we were one in the same. "And I'm Bella's," I whispered back. I could say her name to him. He was the only other one who knew what this felt like. Didn't mean I was gonna cry in front of anybody, though. I blinked back the wetness in my eyes as he introduced everyone, the little short one sliding right up to me. She was a tiny thing, even tinier than Bella, but around the same age. She threw her arms around my neck and I didn't really know what to do. I knew her heart was in the right place, so I tried to give her a little pat in return, her face shining brightly as she pulled away. I wanted to give her a smile back, but that just wasn't happening yet. "Nice to meet you all," I nodded. I stood back as the family was brought up to speed on the Tacoma robbery, until the mother spoke up. "Charlie?" she said quietly. I tried not to grimace as I searched my brain for her name. "Yes, um, Esme, is it?" "Where are you staying?" she smiled. "You're not planning on travelling back to Forks, are you? At least not tonight?" "No, I'm not going back tonight. I had some vacation time coming to me, so I've been able to take the next few days off at least. I, uh, I was planning on finding a motel somewhere close by. I suppose I could stay at Bells' place, but..." I stopped there, because I knew damn well that 10. Chapter 10 101
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Her smile grew even warmer. "No, Charlie. You'll come stay with us. Alice and Jasper are going to be staying in her old room, along with Emmett and Rose in his. Edward will be there, and we have plenty of spare space. If we're all located together it will make receiving information that much faster. Now, do you want to follow us now, or would you like to ride along with one of us?" It doesn't really sound like she left an option for no... "I'd really hate to impose, it's not really any trouble to get a-" She cut me off straight away, her voice firm. "Nonsense, Charlie. And whenever Bella's mother and stepfather arrive, they're welcome to stay there as well. Let's head home, it's getting very late." I didn't know what to say. If I said no, I would seem ungrateful and probably hurt her feelings, and I couldn't deal with crying women. "Come on, Charlie. You're tired, we're tired. You need your rest if we're going to find Bella and Lily," the tiny one said as she walked up to me and slipped her arm around mine. "I'll ride with you and show you the way." The big one was talking somethin' about a car, but she didn't seem concerned. And for a minute, I let myself pretend that I was letting my daughter talk me into what was best for me. I agreed and she guided me outside, talking me the whole way to their house. "It's your home as long as you want it, Charlie," she said softly before getting out of the car. .
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A/N: This and the following two chapters are Lily's side of her time in the cabin while Bella was unconscious, their escape, rescue, and reunion. It's sad, it's graphic, it's bittersweet, with descriptions of violence and abusive language. If it offends, please don't read. Every time I post something and don't put a Kleenex warning, I get yelled at, so get your tissues people! Lily POV: Chapter 13 "Bella. Bella. Wake up. He's coming, Bella." I kept trying to wake her up, because he banged on the door a long time ago and I could hear him coming back with his keys. She wouldn't wake up. She just kept making weird noises. She had been all night. "What the hell is going on in here?" Bad Daddy yelled inside the door. I jumped off the bed away from him, but then I wished I didn't, because he was touching Bella now. I didn't want him to be mean to her anymore. If she's sick, she needs my real daddy. He could fix her. "Victoria!" he screamed. "What the hell are you playing at? Get the fuck up!" My Nana would wash your mouth out with soap. "I think she's sick...Daddy. She needs a doctor," I said, trying to be a brave girl and not cry. "She's not good enough for a goddamn doctor. She needs to wake up or I'll make her," he said mean. "She just needs her medicine."
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I hated that medicine. It made her so sleepy and sick. And she never got to eat when it made her mess up. My real daddy and me could make her lots of food at my real home. He stomped his feet loud into the kitchen and got her medicine, and when he brought it back he didn't even give her any water. He tried to push them in her mouth, but she wasn't swallowing anything. It was like she couldn't wake up. Like Sleeping Beauty. Or maybe Snow White. Her hair is darker. My real daddy could kiss her to wake up. "You stupid bitch!" he screamed loud. "Quit playing around, Vicki!" He sounded kind of scared, but mostly really mean. And then he started slapping her face to wake her up. "No, Daddy!" I cried. "Please don't hit her! She's sick!" He didn't listen to me at all and he started hitting her in other places too. He was screaming and screaming at her, yelling in her face and calling her bad word names, but he wouldn't listen to me. It was too scary and I wanted to hide, but I was scared to hide in the closet because of the foods we hidded away. I ran into the bathroom and waited until I heard the screaming stop and the door close and lock before I got out. I wanted to be brave and not cry, but Bella was on the floor, and she was bleeding again. He hadn't made her bleed for a while, but now she was again. Her mouth had a cut so I tried to clean it up, but she was on her tummy and I couldn't reach it right. And her face was really hot. I tried and tried to get her up onto the bed, but I just couldn't. I tried to pretend I was a superhero that had big strength, but that didn't work. Then I tried to pretend I was Uncle Em, but that didn't work either. Finally, I had to give up, so I got her a pillow off the bed and tried to make her comfortable. At least I was strong enough for her head. I checked under her shirt even though I wasn't supposed to look, because I needed to see if she had any new bad owies. I could hear 11. Chapter 11 104
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him smacking her and it was really loud. Maybe he would smack me instead now that Bella was sleeping. That made me scared, but then I felt bad, because Bella got smacked every day because of me and she never complained. Unless she was sleeping and talking. Her owies were still bad, but I couldn't find any new ones. Or maybe there was new ones but they were mixed in with the old ones. There was too many to see a difference. The keys opening the door scared me really bad, because I was afraid what would happen to me if he hit her too hard. I didn't want to stay here alone with Bad Daddy. We'd been here for a long time and I knew Real Daddy was coming, but he was taking a long time. "Move out of the way, Abby," Bad Daddy said as he walked over to Bella and kicked her over. She made another weird noise and he made a mean face at her. Then, he grabbed her hair and started pulling her out of the room! By her hair! "C'mon, Abby," he yelled at me as he pulled her into the living room. He picked her up and threw her onto the couch and then started making a fire in the fireplace. I didn't think that was a good idea, because she felt really hot so fire would make her hotter, but I didn't think he would listen to me very good. There's something wrong with him. And he must have been really stupid, because now he was putting blankets on her. I watched him take her medicine and squish it on the table, and then he picked up the powder and put it in her mouth. "Ohhh," Bella cried in her sleep. "Goddamn, I wish she'd just wake up already," Bad Daddy said.
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She can't wake up with all that yucky medicine you make her take. That's why she's sick. "Abigail, you're going to need to clean up around here until she's better. I'll make breakfast and help you with your reading, but then you need to clean this place up, okay?" he asked me, but I knew I couldn't say no. Bella was never allowed to say no. A really good idea popped into my head. I knew I promised Bella I wouldn't try to take food, but maybe she wouldn't be mad if I only took a little bit to help. It would just be helping, and she always said I was such a good helper. But I didn't want her to be mad at me. I want her to be my mommy for real. "Abigail, I asked you a question. Answer me," he said mean. I nodded really fast, scared he was gonna spank me like he spanked Bella. "What's the matter with you today?" he asked, rubbing my cheek. I hate that. It makes me miss Real Daddy. "I want Mommy to wake up." "She will," he nodded, looking at her mean. "I'll make her." After he made me gloopy oatmeal, he tried to read to me from the dictionary, but he was even slower than Bella. And I didn't think he took any of that medicine. After a long time, he told me to start cleaning. "You know how to sweep, right, Abby?" he asked, looking at Bella like he might hit her if I said no. I had helped my Nana do it before, so I nodded really quick and went to go get the broom. While he was in his room being crazy, I tried to give Bella some water. 11. Chapter 11 106
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"Bella," I whispered. "You should drink this. It'll make you feel better to have lots of fludes. That means water." I tried to pour it in her mouth, but most of it just spilled out, making her make another weird noise. "Bella?" I whispered again. "Ungh, Llll," she said. "I'm gonna sneak food for us so when you wake up we can go, okay?" She didn't make any more noise, so I pushed her head a little bit. That made her nod yes. So I guessed it was okay. I hoped it would be. It felt kind of like a trick, but...she can ground me when she's my mommy. (The Next Day) We just finished lunch and I didn't really want to take a nap, because Bella couldn't sleep in my room with me. Unless... "Daddy? Can I sleep with Mommy on the couch?" That way he couldn't be mean to her. And maybe I could get her some more water if he goes to his room again. He made a big noise with his breath and shook his head. "Abby, I need to talk to you about something important. You need to really listen closely, alright, baby?" I nodded, just wanting to know if I could sleep with Bella or not. "You know your birthday's coming up really soon, don't you?"
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I nodded, but I didn't really know. My birthday is September and I remember my real daddy said that's before Christmas. I hoped I didn't miss Christmas. "It's not very far away. August fourteenth is just around the corner and you'll be five. That's a very important birthday. Do you know why?" I didn't know what he was talking about. My birthday was September. Real Daddy told me. "No." "Abby...that's the day you get to start your training. I want you to grow up to be a good girl, who knows how to listen. Right now, you're too young to be taught the right way, you wouldn't understand. You're not old enough yet, but you will be soon. Then, I'll have to start teaching you." I didn't understand. I did listen. I listened every time. "What're you gonna teach me?" "I'll teach you the way I teach Mommy every day," he said, looking kind of sad. I hoped Real Daddy would find me before Abby turned five. Bad Daddy tried to make her wake up all the next day, but she wouldn't. He tried shaking her, he tried throwing water on her, he even took away all her blankets. Every time he hit her it made me cry and he would look kind of sorry and start talking to Bella nice. "Wake up, Vicki. Abby needs you. You've got to get better for her, baby." 11. Chapter 11 108
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Sometimes he was even nice to her when he made her take the medicine, except when it made her throw up. Then he was mad and screaming again and I cleaned it up really fast so he would stop being mad to her. I tried making soup and tea, I tried to give her crackers, but she couldn't eat anything. Sometimes she would be still and it would scare me, sometimes she would be shaking and saying stuff I couldn't understand. She was always hot, but sometimes she said she was cold, but then she would fall asleep again. Finally, after a couple of days, the next time he tried to give her water she actually opened her eyes. I was so excited, but I tried to be good and stay quiet. "Mommy?" She looked at me and she looked scared. I thought she was trying to pull me over, but she was really not strong. I came over anyway, but then that hurt her. She started to go to sleep, but Bad Daddy was mad. "Victoria, you need to stay awake. You've been asleep for almost three days, you've got to stay awake." She woke up again and looked scared again. She was looking at me like she was worried, so I smiled at her. She was going to be so proud of me. "I've been trying to help you feel better, and Daddy's been reading to me, and letting me play in my room. I helped clean..." I winked at her, waiting to see if she was going to be mad. But she winked at me back so I knew I did okay. I almost forgot about Bad Daddy until he spoke up. "I think I know what we need to do to help you get better, Vicki. There's obviously some sort of infection in your body making you sick. I 11. Chapter 11 109
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remember what my foster dad used to do to help me when I was sick. I'll be back in just a moment. Abby, make sure your mom stays awake," he said all bossy. As soon as he walked away, Bella started being worried again. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" she kept asking, but her voice was all scratchy and yucky. "No, no! He didn't hurt me!" I promised. "He just read to me like you would, had me clean a little bit, and the rest of the time I stayed in my room and played with my toys. I've been trying to help you drink water when you wake up, and lift your head up when he gives you your medicine so you won't chokeded. Are you mad at me for helping?" Bella was always so nice. "Why would I be mad at you, sweetie? Thank you for helping me. I was just worried something could have happened to you while I was sleeping." I didn't want to be in trouble, but I loved Bella. I didn't want to lie to her. I had to wink at her for her to understand. "No, I mean for helping." "Oh. Helping. I don't know how I feel about that, sweetie. You know you broke your pinky promise, right?" She did look upset with me. Maybe a little lie was okay. "Well, I asked you, and you said it was okay." But she got all upset again, so then I felt bad. "W-what? When did I say that?" "Well, you weren't all the way awake, but... but I just wanted to help, and you were so sick, and...you need my...real daddy... he could fix you," I said. I really was sorry. But I wanted to go home. Real home.
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"It's okay, sweetie. I'm not mad. I guess I'm just glad he didn't catch you, and you didn't get hurt. I could never forgive myself if that happened," she said. She looked like she was going to cry and I felt so bad. But then Bad Daddy came back. He had a bunch of weird stuff in his hands and Bella looked scared. That made me scared but she was holding me, so it was okay. I think. "James? What are you doing?" she tried to ask. "I'm going to bleed your infection out of your body," he said, doing weird stuff on her arms. When I saw his needle, I got scared. When he started poking Bella, I started to cry. Then she fell asleep again. He took lots and lots of blood out of her arm. It was so gross. When he took his needle out, the blood kept going everywhere, getting on everything. But at least he let me stay with her until it was time for lunch. "Daddy, can I wake up Mommy? I missed her. Please?" I asked, trying to use my face that gets me whatever I want. I was so happy when he nodded. I got her to wake up and she took her medicine. Bella looked so sick. She was so pretty, but her face was a weird color and her skin was so hot. I hated that she had another owie on her arm now. She had owies everywhere. But then she tried to get up. "What are you doing?" I whispered, really mad because she was going to get in trouble and get more hurt.
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She made me be quiet and whispered back. "I need you to pretend like I'm feeling all better. Go along with anything I say, and if you're confused, just keep quiet, okay?" She wasn't making any sense, just like when she was asleep. I always told Bella yes, because she's really smart and she always takes good care of me. So when she winked at me, I winked back. I was still really scared when I saw her stand up all the way. Her foot looked so ugly. "What are you doing, Vicki?" Bad Daddy yelled, scaring me again. "You need to lie back down!" "James, you did it. I think you got the infection out of my blood. I feel so much better. Could I help you fix lunch before Abby's naptime?" I didn't know what to say. Maybe she went crazy because she was too sick. "Knew it would work. I've got lunch going already, but you can go back to your regular duties after naptime... And don't let yourself be getting sick again. I won't tolerate that kind of weakness. You've been a burden for long enough. I've got better things to do than wait on you hand and foot," he said, sounding mad. She nodded and he went back to doing whatever he was doing. Bella tried to smile at me, but it was all wrong. I helped her as good as I could to the kitchen so we could eat lunch. She was trying to make it seem like she was okay, but I knew she wasn't. And she winked at me... Oh my gosh! We're leaving! Bella gave me a serious look that meant business, so I tried to calm down while we ate lunch. We said thanks and he was so stupid, because he was so happy and we were going to turn his lights off. But then I got scared again when 11. Chapter 11 112
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Bella got sick in the bathroom. I was afraid she was going to go back to sleep again and not wake up until Real Daddy could find her to kiss her awake. I really wanted to go. But I tried to help her until she was done being sick, but then I didn't know what to do, because she was doing a bunch of stuff that she wasn't telling me. "Lily," she whispered. "Can you very, very quietly go get the food out of the closet? Put it here on the floor on this side of the bed, in case he opens the door, he won't be able to see it." Oh my gosh, we were really leaving! I did what she said right away and waited to help more. "Do me one more favor? Go over to the dresser and grab some panties and socks for both of us. And bring me a new shirt? This one feels really gross." I was so glad she didn't want to wear that one anymore, because it smelled really bad, like throw-up and bloody stuff and stinky. I wanted so bad to not cry when she started changing, but she did have new owies. New ones had different colors than old ones. She tried to make me feel better, but it just made me cry. I gave her a big hug to make her feel better. "We need to talk about how this is going to work. Oh! I need you to get one more thing. Very, very carefully, go get that glass. Don't take it out of the sock, just bring the whole thing over to me, okay?" This was such a big deal. I was only allowed to use plastic scissors at home, so a real knife was a big job. I brought it over, just like my Nana taught me and gave it to her. She was looking at it funny and moving it around weird. "How are we going to fight him, Bella?" I wanted to know.
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She looked at me funny now. "We are not going to do anything. I am going to fight him. You are going to be in here, waiting with our bags." "What?" I screamed. That was so not fair. She needed my help. I wanted to help. I didn't want to be alone in here. "No, Bella! I have to help you! I beat up my Uncle Emmett all the time. I can help." I always won Uncle Em. And she couldn't even walk right. But she wouldn't listen to me. "No, Lily. That's not the same and you know it. Your Uncle Emmett would never hurt you back. He's the teddy bear, right? Well, James isn't. He's mean, and he's crazy, and there's no way I'm going to risk you like that. If you're out there when I try to fight him, you could accidentally get hurt, or he could grab you and do who knows what. Please, Lily. I'm begging you, please, please do this for me. I won't be able to concentrate on fighting him if I have to worry about you too. Please?" she asked me, almost looking like she was going to cry. Well, I wanted to cry, too. This wasn't fair. If she tried to fight him all alone and couldn't beat him, I'd be alone. I had to try. "But what if you need help? What if something happens to you? What will happen to me?" "Lily," she said, sounding really tired. "I can't promise I won't get hurt fighting him. But I'm not losing. We're leaving here. Today. We can't stay here any longer. Now that my fever's broken, we've got to get out while we can. If I get any sicker, we may never be able to get away. I need you to promise me, no matter what you hear, you will stay in this room. Stay in this room until I come for you, and then be ready to run." Why didn't she want my help? Didn't she understand what I said? "But how are you going to run? Your foot is hurted."
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"I just will. It's going to hurt, but we're leaving, Little Thing. Do you promise me?" she asked me again, sounding madder this time. She wanted my promise. I couldn't break another promise. I already told a bad lie once when I took the food. So I pinky-promised her, copying her kisses. That was so funny. "Alright," she said, sounding really awake now. "Here's the plan. I'm going to start dinner. I'm going to have my glass with me. When I give you our special blink, you're going to say you need to go potty, and go to our room. You will wait for me there, and you will not come out until I get you, understand? Be ready and waiting with our bags on this side of the bed. Have we got a deal?" I didn't like not doing anything, but I already promised, dang it. She smiled her pretty Bella smile at me. "Alright, for now, let's tuck these away in the closet, and wait for him, okay? It shouldn't be too much longer now." I was so nervous. If she left me, I'd be all alone. Then he would hurt me. I didn't want to be hurt. But I didn't want Bella to get hurt anymore either. This was so hard! I missed my Snuffles. He always made me feel better. I missed my real daddy. He would beat up that bad daddy so good. "Hey, come here. Lay your head on my lap... Do you want me to tell you a story? Or sing to you?" Ooh, singing. That made me feel as good as Snuffles. "Sing to me? I want you to sing our song," I said. "Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love. There's nothing you can do that can't be done. 11. Chapter 11 115
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Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game It's easy. There's nothing you can make that can't be made. No one you can save that can't be saved. Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time - It's easy. All you need is love, all you need is love, All you need is love, love, love is all you need. Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love. All you need is love, all you need is love, All you need is love, love, love is all you need. There's nothing you can know that isn't known. Nothing you can see that isn't shown. Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be. It's easy. All you need is love, all you need is love, All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
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All you need is love, love, love is all you need." Right when she finished singing with me, he opened the door.
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LPOV: Chapter 15 We followed him into the kitchen and I held Bella's hand so she wouldn't fall until we made it into the pantry. She made a bunch of noise so he couldn't hear us talking. "I'm going to give you the can opener when we get to the counter. Take it with you when you go to our room. And make sure you put on a sweater in case it's chilly," she said in her mommy voice. I was so happy to have a job. I could do that job really good. I was feeling happy until Bad Daddy pushed his yucky fingers in her mouth to make her take more medicine. Bella didn't let it get her sad at all, she just kept on making dinner like always. I climbed up the counter, waiting for her to tell me what to do. She didn't talk at all, though, and she just stuffed the can opener in my pants and then winked at me. That meant it was time. She was really going to fight him and we were going to go. And we would find my real daddy and go home. Real Home. I was so scared. I was so scared it wasn't going to work. He was so strong and Bella looked liked she was smaller than my Aunt Ali now. I had to give her one more hug. She helped me down and then I walked like a big girl by myself to Bad Daddy. "Daddy? I need to go potty. I'll be right back, okay?" He rubbed my cheek again with his yucky hands and I hoped I could take a bath soon. He was so gross. "Sure, baby. Don't want you to have an accident. Hurry up!"
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I went into the room and got the bags out, waiting right behind the door until Bella said I could come out. There was a funny feeling in my tummy when I thought about what Bella was going to do. What he was going to do. If he was going to make her more blood. I jumped when I heard Bella scream. "Oh my God, is that a mouse?" I looked around for one while Bad Daddy was yelling about it, but then I heard a big bang and he was yelling different now. There was more bangs and I could hear the chairs and the pots, but most I heard him. He was screaming, louder than he ever screamed before. Lots of bad words and sounds that I didn't understand, but I started crying when I heard his feet. I thought he was coming for me, but then I heard Bella screaming and even louder bangings. And then smoke started coming into the room. It was different than when Real Daddy burned toast or Nana blew her candles out. There was so much I couldn't see through it and it was smelling up everywhere. I was so scared about not being able to get away from it, I didn't even notice that the bangs stopped. "Lily!" Bella yelled. I picked up the bags and ran out of our room, trying to get away from the smoke in there, but it was badder out here. And there was blood. Lots of it. And throw-up and Bad Daddy was dead. Maybe. I hoped. "Run to the door!" she screamed in her mommy voice, but a little scared, too. I did what she said, but it was hard to see the door with all the smoke everywhere. She couldn't even walk and her knife was stuck in her arm. But she kept trying to unlock the doors. The smoke was scary, but when Bad Daddy started making noise, that was more scarier. 12. Chapter 12 119
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We were crying and he was waking up, but then Bella pushed me hard and I was outside and she was outside and she was locking the door, but he was awake. And he wanted to kill us. I didn't understand. He was screaming at us and he was going to come for us and Bella couldn't walk and she had a knife in her arm and owies everywhere. She started moving away from the door, but she didn't take us to his car. She was going the wrong way. "Bella! What about your arm?" I asked mad. "We don't have time right now. I'll fix it once we're away from here. We've got to hurry," she said, but it sounded wrong, like it hurt to talk. It felt like I was still in the smoke because it was so itchy. She picked up wood and then finally started to go to the car. But then she went the wrong way again. "Are you okay?" she asked. She carried the bags for me and that made me feel a little bit better. "Yeah, it just tastes dirty in my mouth. It's making my throat feel itchy," I coughed. She kept going the wrong way, but she was the grownup. And she was almost my mommy, so I had to listen. "Hold onto either the bag or my wrist, but I don't want to lose you in here. It's going to be dark soon, and we can't get separated, okay? Once we're far enough away, we'll stop and I'll get you something to eat, deal?" I didn't really feel hungry after she said we could get separated. I didn't want to be alone out here. But I was happy we were out of there. Anything was better than Bad Daddy.
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We walked forever until a loud bang came back. The same kind of bang I heard in the grocery store when Bad Daddy shot the gun. Bella looked more scared than ever and she hid us behind a tree while we waited. She made me stay quiet and I tried not to jump when I heard, even if he sounded far away. "I know you're out there! I found you once, I'll find you again! It doesn't matter where you go, I'll never stop hunting you! You'll fucking pay for this Victoria! I want my fucking daughter!" This was too scary. I wanted to cry. I wanted my real daddy. I wanted Snuffles. I wanted anything but to have to go back with him. I'd rather live in the woods with just Bella forever than go back with him. I didn't want to see him hurt her anymore. I didn't want him to hurt me. Bella was holding me, but it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like she was hugging me strong. And her face felt hot on my head. "I think he's gone," she whispered. She sounded like she was crying. I was crying, too. "I'm scare. I want my real daddy." "I know, sweetie. Let's get a move on. I want to get further away from the house before we stop to feed you." I started to say okay and get up, but then I saw she still had that knife in her arm with blood everywhere. Her whole shirt was red now. It used to be blue. "Firsts you gotta fix that," I said. I was not going to go anywhere until she fixed it. "Okay. But I'm going to need your help." 12. Chapter 12 121
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I gulped big, making my throat scratchy again. "What do I do?" "Get out the first aid kit for me. Then I'll need your help getting off this shirt. "We're going to have to do this quickly, before it's completely dark. Can you help me with my shirt?" I helped her, but it didn't seem like helping when she started shaking harder. I didn't understand how she was cold. "Bella, your skin's so hot." She actually thought she was cold. She must still be really sick. Or maybe she hit her head. "Alright. I'm going to pull the glass out, and when I do, I need you to bunch up the shirt and push down really hard on my owie, okay?" Touching blood was so gross, but I had to help her. It was just her and me. Real Daddy still wasn't here yet. "On the count of three, okay? One...two...three!" I tried to do just what she said, but it still made her cry. So then I was crying, because I didn't know what to do. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I said, the crying making me more coughy. Bella just kept fixing it. "No, Lily. You didn't do anything wrong. It just hurts, sweetie. Can you bring that kit over closer to me? It's too dark to see what's in there." I gave it to her right away so she could show me what to do.
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"Okay, perfect. I need you to open these little wipes for me so I can clean it. Then I'll need your helping wrapping it up with that gauze. Do you think you can do that? Like you did with my ankle?" I could help now. I saw my real daddy be a doctor when I went with him to work last time. "Yeah, I can do it, Bella. I'm really almost five. That's my whole hand." "I know," she smiled. "You're so big. I can't wait to tell everybody how much you helped me." "I can't wait for our perfect days." That would be so much better than woods and bad daddies and smoke and blood. "I might need a couple of days to rest before we can do that, but I can't wait either." She didn't know my real daddy. "My real daddy will fix you, Bella. He's so good a doctor." Maybe we could go straight there. She looked sad again, but it was okay. Once she saw my real daddy she'd know. And then maybe they could get married at Disneyworld, too. "I know, sweetie. Can you get those wipes for me, please?" "Oops. Sorry, I forgotted," I laughed, because it was more fun to think about Disneyworld than blood. She cleaned it really fast and I could have done it, but she wanted to. She made a loud sound with her breath and threw the wipe on the ground. "Let's just wrap it up tight. It's probably going to need stitches or something. Will you help me wrap it like you wrapped my foot?"
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"Yeah. Just hold really still," I said, really serious. This was my most important job today. She tried to laugh and it was making me mad because it made her move. "Bella. I'm serious. I'm being your doctor right now. Laughing is moving. No moving." I was almost done wrapping it up, but then she tried to move again. I was going to be even more mad at her, but then she was crying and she looked like she was trying to scream but there was no noise. I kept trying to figure out what was wrong, but she wouldn't answer me. Whenever I was really sad, or Bella was having a bad dream, she would sing our song, or I would sing to her. I didn't know what else to do, because I was too scared to try and scream for my real daddy in case the bad daddy was still here somewhere. I laid down next to her and started singing, but I was crying a lot so I didn't know if she could understand. But then it finally started to work. "Thank you, Lily," she said, but her voice was all wrong. It was scratchy and sad and tired. "Are you okay, Bella? What happened?" "I'm not sure, sweetie. I'm still pretty sick. But we still need to get further away before we can rest for the night. Do you think you can help me up?" I helped the best I could, but she didn't seem like she was trying very hard. But then she started looking scared. "Oh my God, Lily. We have to get further away, now. The cabin is still burning. If it spreads, we need to be as far away as possible." 12. Chapter 12 124
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I could smell the smoke now. It wasn't as strong as when we were in the house and I couldn't see it, and I didn't want to go anymore. "Bella, you're still really hot." She rubbed my throat and it felt kind of good since it was kind of cold. "Are you sure you feel okay, Lily? I'm worried about your cough." It just needed water. Fludes always make a sore throat go away. "I'm just really thirsty." She smiled nice at me, but it still looked not right. I didn't like that Bella always seemed sad now. "Yeah, me too. Let's get a move on so we can stop for the night and I'll feed you." "You have to eat too, Bella. He's gone now. You can eat all the time," I said. She must have forgotten. And she looked like she really needed to eat. "We don't have very much, Lily. And I'm afraid I'm too sick right now to eat anything. I don't want to waste it if I'm just going to throw it back up afterward." That wasn't true. I sneaked lots of food away while she was asleep. "But Bella-" "Lily, we don't have time to argue. We need to go. We'll talk more once we're settled for the night," she said in her mommy voice. She didn't even let me finish. I wished I was a grownup so I could use a mommy voice on somebody. No fair. "Fine," I said. Kind of mean. But I was kind of tired. So we walked. And walked. And walked. I was so sick of walking. 12. Chapter 12 125
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"Stop for a minute, Lily," she said, breathing all funny. It was weird because I couldn't see her very good, only hear her. "I need you to hold onto the sack of food or something, Lily." "But it's too heavy!" I said. I was too tired. "No, sweetie. I don't need you to carry it, I just want you to keep your hand on it so we can't get separated from each other. The woods are so dark, I can barely see you," she said, and she wasn't even mad that I was being ugly and whining. "Oh, okay. My real daddy makes me hold onto stuff too." Maybe I could try to be nice, because I really wanted to make Bella happy again. And then my mommy. "I got it, Bella." It worked. She sounded happier again. "Okay, great. Let's start walking again. Next time we stop, we'll be done for the night." Geez. How many trees are there to walk around in? "Okay. I hope we stop soon. My feet are tired...Can you carry me?" I asked, trying to sound cute enough for yes. "No, sweetie," she said. That made me want to be pouty again. "I'm sorry. I really can't. I'm just not strong enough right now. But once I'm better, I'll carry you all over Disneyworld when we go, okay? And we'll dance together and everything." I almost forgot we were going to Disneyworld on the way home. I wanted to meet everybody. "It's gonna be awesome...We're going to see every single princess and prince and I want to ride those teacups you said that they have. I wanna see if my real daddy will let me eat candy all day. He always says I can't 'cause my teeth will fall out, but maybe if it was just one day it would be okay. Because I didn't have candy the whole time we were with Bad Daddy and that means I missed a lot of candy. And ice cream. I hope they have ice cream on the 12. Chapter 12 126
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airplane. My favorite ice cream is chocolate, Bella. But I always eat strawberry, because it's a better color. But I like brown now, because you have brown in your hair and your eyes, so I think chocolate is maybe okay...I wonder what color happens when you mix chocolate and strawberry. I bet it's gross. I wonder if it tastes gross. I wonder if we can have ice cream with our pancakes. I wonder if they have banana ice cream, because that would match banana pancakes, so it's good for you! I wonder where everybody sleeps at night in Disneyworld. They only have one castle and lots of princesses and princes. And they have Mickey and Minnie and Donald and Daisy, but they can't sleep in a castle. It would be so cool if they lived in a hotel and they lived in the same one as us so I could see them. Maybe Minnie and Daisy could come for my sleepover! I'm gonna ask Ariel if she'll sleepover, too. We could ask Belle for you too, if you want, Bella." I had to stop to yawn, because I was so sleepy from the dark. "I think this is good, Lily. We can stop now," Bella said, and then she kind of landed on the ground hard. She taught me how to use the can opener all by myself and then I got to eat. Finally. But Bella didn't eat any and just gave it all to me. "Will you please eat, Bella? Just try one bites?" I said, feeling sad and bad if she wouldn't eat too. She was trying to answer me, but she was shaking and crying. "Bella, you're really hot! Why are you shaking so bad?" She was trying to talk some more, but all of it was messy sounding. "Bell-" "Lily, please just eat!" she yelled at me. She never yelled at me before. "Okay, Bella. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me," I whispered, taking little bites and not liking it at all. I thought she was still mad at me, 12. Chapter 12 127
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because she wasn't talking or anything. But then she spooked me. "I'm not mad at you, sweetie. We just need to get to sleep soon, and I need you to eat first." Well, at least she didn't sound mad anymore. I hoped she wouldn't be mad if I got more to eat. Pineapples was not a lot of food. "Bella?" "Yeah, sweetie?" she asked, but it was weird. "Can I eat some more? I'm still hungry." I thought she was going to say yes, but I couldn't understand what she said because she was throwing up everywhere. I wanted to help, but it was too dark to see in our bags and I didn't know what to do to help her anyway. "What do I do? What do I do?" I kept asking her, but she kept throwing up and coughing, and it was so gross, but I just wanted her to feel better already. I wished I was a real doctor so I could fix her. Maybe Bella was wrong. Maybe Real Daddy wasn't coming. Maybe he forgot. That made me cry even more and I cried until Bella stopped coughing and choking. "Bella! Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm okay now," she said, but her voice didn't sound like her voice. It sounded like her Mommy voice when we were with Bad Daddy. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Are you ready to sleep now?"
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I nodded fast, because I didn't want to eat anymore now. Watching and hearing and smelling throw-up was really gross. "Lily?" "Oh, yeah. I was nodding." Oops. "I can't see you nod, silly. It's dark." I didn't want to think of that. I wished we had a flashlight or we could see the moon through the trees. "Yeah. I'm kind of scared of this much dark." Even though I couldn't see hear her, I could still hear her pretty Bella smile. "Don't be scared. I'm here with you. Let's just go to sleep." I listened to her move a little bit and followed her to lean against a tree. It would have been really hurting to sleep like that, but Bella let me lean on her and she was so nice and warm. I tried to tell her, but when she said something back, it didn't make sense. "Bella?...Bella?" She was already asleep. I hoped she felt better in the morning.
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LPOV Chapter 16 I woke up when it was still dark, but not so bad that I couldn't see Bella anymore. She did not look good. Every morning she always seemed like she got tinier and her skin didn't look the same anymore and her hair wasn't pretty and shiny anymore. I really, really needed to go potty. "Bella," I whispered in her ear. "Bella." She couldn't hear me. I tried a little louder and then a little louder, but still she was asleep. She must have been really sleepy. I tried shaking her a little, but I tried to be careful. But nothing was working. I tried to cross my legs and I was bouncing them on the leaves to try and not go pee-pee in my panties, but I really needed to go. When a big noise happened over our head, it made Bella jump awake. Finally. "Bella, what was that? I've been trying to wake you up. I need to go potty really, really bad. I'm gonna have an accident." She wanted me to pee on the ground. I was so sick of woods. "Ewww." She tried to make it better with toilet paper and smiles, but she sounded so weird. I didn't even think she knew how weird she was talking. All her words were mixing up together and some of them were too soft to even understand. But then she wasn't talking at all and I couldn't go pee-pee in front of her without some water sounds or something. "Bella? Can you talk to me or something? It's too quiet. I can't go. What was that noise? Where did it go? Do you think it's my real daddy?...Bellaaaa!" 13. Chapter 13 130
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She wasn't paying attention to me. But then it was getting lighter and I could see her sitting against the tree and she wasn't ignoring me. She wasn't okay. "Bella?" Something was wrong. She was looking at me funny, but she wasn't really looking at me. And she was breathing funny and hitting herself. "What is it?" I cried after I finished going pee-pee on the leaves. "How come you're not talking? What's wrong?" But she wouldn't answer me. It was raining and she was trying to say stuff, but it didn't make any sense. Why would I play in a bag? But I didn't want to make her more upset, so I climbed into it, sticking my head out the top so I could still breathe. It was nice to not be in the rain, but I couldn't help Bella this way. "Like this?" I thought she winked at me, but she might have just been trying to go to sleep. Or not go to sleep. I wasn't sure, but the next minute she was sliding off the tree and she was on the ground before I could catch her. "Bella!" I screamed, jumping out of the bag to try and help her up. But she was back asleep. She wasn't asleep like last night, though. She was breathing really weird. She was still really hot even though it was really cold with the rain and I tried to cover her up with the bag I was in. I didn't want to cover her face because I was afraid she couldn't breathe, so I just worked extra hard to keep the rain off her mouth and her nose. I kept wiping her face the whole time it was raining and singing our song so maybe she would wake up. She didn't sound like she was talking in her sleep, but weird puffy sounds were coming out of her mouth. Her eyes were closed, but they kept moving and she wouldn't stop shaking. I was hoping after it stopped raining she would wake up, but she didn't. I didn't know what to do. My tummy hurt and my throat was scratchy and 13. Chapter 13 131
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she wasn't awake to make me feel better. What should I do if Bad Daddy found us? This was too scary. She needed to go to the doctor, but she couldn't go anywhere. What would happen to me if she didn't wake up? And then when I ran out of food? Was I supposed to go look for help by myself? What if I got lost? Bella was wrong. Real Daddy wasn't coming. Thinking about him made me start to cry. I thought he was going to find me. Didn't he miss me? What about everybody else? I thought my Nana and Papaw loved me. And I used to play with Aunt Ali everyday. Uncle Jazz said I was his cowgirl. How come everybody forgot about me? It was just me and Bella now. She had to wake up. "Bella," I said, crying and sniffling my nose and poking her a little bit. "Please wake up. I'm scared. C'mon, Bella. Wake up. It's morning time. You can eat breakfast. It'll make you feel better. Please, Bella. Please." She just kept laying there. Oh no. The loud noise was back. It sounded kind of like an airplane, but not the same. What if it was Bad Daddy? "Bella, come on! You have to wake up! We have to go!" Oh my gosh. Now I could hear lots of people yelling from far away. But the yells were coming close. And there were dogs barking. What if it wasn't dogs? What if was animals coming to eat me?
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And it was. A big, bad wolf was coming to eat me. He was barking right at my face. And he had big teeth. Really big teeth. I screamed so loud, and he was right in front of me and I was too scared to move and hide. I was in front of Bella so he couldn't eat her, but I didn't want to get eaten either. I was trying to be a statue so he couldn't see me, so maybe he would go away. And he did, but only because a big, giant man was yelling at him. I don't want to go to another Bad Daddy. There was noises everywhere and people coming all around us. But somebody was next to the new man that kind of looked like... "Real Daddy?" Did he really come? He didn't forget me? He started crying and that wasn't something my real daddy ever did and he wasn't even trying to hug me. "Lily." It is him! He did remember me! He did come! He did! I was so happy until I moved a little bit and my foot touched Bella. I almost forgot. "Daddy, you have to fix Bella!" I yelled, practicing my mommy voice. I saw another man who started crying when he saw her and he looked kind of like Bella. That was probably her daddy. She said he would come, too. And she was right about my real daddy. Real Daddy came over and hugged me really tight. I missed his hugs so bad. And he brought Snuffles!
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"Daddy, please. Fix Bella now!" I yelled at him, because he wasn't being a doctor yet. He was trying to check me, but he didn't understand. "I'm fine, Daddy. Fix her! She's been sick for days!" I shook my head and walked over to Bella's Daddy with Snuffles. "Can you take care of me until my real daddy is done fixing your Bella? And keep Bad Daddy away?" He was so nice. He gave me a big hug right away. Bella was right. He was a good daddy. "Somebody bring me a blanket and some water!" he yelled, a little bit too loud in my ear, but I didn't care when he snuggled me up and gave me a drink. There was lots of yelling and Daddy and Papaw were being doctors for Bella while Bella's Daddy was holding me and looking really sad. "It's okay," I told him, giving him a pat on the cheek. "My daddy's a doctor. He can fix her." "I-" "Charlie!" Papaw yelled. "Does Bella have a history of seizures?" "No," Bella's Daddy said fast. Papaw went back to work while Daddy kept doing weird doctor things all over her mouth and her tummy. He ripped open her shirt. He was almost touching her boobies. He better not. Bella's Daddy phone beeped. "Fletcher! What's your position? Over."
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His phone beeped again and somebody was talking out of it. "North end of the forest on the Lower Elwha reservation. About two-hundred feet east of the river. Leaving a flare for position location. Over." "We need the stretcher. Over." "Coming now. Over." Bella's Daddy was watching them really serious and he walked over there when Bella woke up. Finally. Daddy was talking to her but she couldn't talk, because they had a giant straw in her mouth. "Charlie! Where's Stan?" Papaw yelled. "He's landed on the north end of the forest on the Lower Elwha reservation. He's making his way in now with a stretcher for transport. Uley! Emmett! Go intersect and help him carry it in!" Bella's Daddy said, using a really good daddy voice. I didn't know Uncle Em was here...They all remembered me! Daddy and Papaw were poking all over Bella, checking stuff and asking for blood to put it back in from where Bad Daddy took it out. I didn't want her to have to have any more needles, but Real Daddy knew how to do it the right way. But then he did something bad. He was trying to bad touch her. "No! You can't touch her there!" I screamed, throwing Snuffles down on the ground and trying to wiggle out of Bella's Daddy's arms. "Shh, Lily. It's okay. Your daddy's just trying to help," Bella's Daddy kept saying, but couldn't he see? Finally, he let me go and I got in front of 13. Chapter 13 135
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Bella so he couldn't touch her there. Nobody's allowed. Nobody. Uncle Jazz and Aunt Rose came over to me, but I was not moving. "Lily, listen to Uncle Jazzy. They need to open her pants so they can give her an IV. She's very sick, and this is the only way she's going to get better. No one is going to hurt her, I promise. Can you let them do that, please, Lily?" Uncle Jazz said, soft and nice. But Bella said... Aunt Rose was talking nice and soft, too. "Lily, we can watch from over here while they work. You'll see that they won't hurt her. Her daddy's here. He wouldn't let them hurt her." I looked back at Bella's Daddy and he was nodding, holding his arms out for me to come back for a hug. "Just watch out for her foot. It's hurted," I told them, because they weren't even fixing that yet. Aunt Rose took me back over to Bella's Daddy and he gave me a big hug and gave me back Snuffles and held my hand while Daddy and Papaw kept doing more stuff to her. Uncle Em came back with another big man just like him except darker and they put Bella on top of a bed while lots of people helped hold all the straws coming out of her everywhere. Bella's Daddy smiled and squeezed my hand before he let go. "I've got to go with Bella now. I'll see you in a minute, Miss Lily. Thank you for taking care of my Bella." He walked after all the people with Bella and I turned around to look for my daddy. He looked ready for a big hug. I ran all the way over to him and jumped on him, making him fall onto the ground. Landing hard on him made me be coughy again and Daddy was worried.
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Silly Daddy. "Yeah, Daddy. My throat's itchy from the smoke, but I'm okay. C'mon! We need to hurry so we can go to the hospital with Bella!" We had to go with her so he could marry her at Disneyworld. It felt so good to laugh with my real daddy again. But he wasn't going fast enough. "Come on, Daddy! We have to make sure she's okay! Hurry up!" He carried me so we could go faster and Uncle Jazz was right there with us carrying Snuffles for me. I wanted to give him a hug, too, but I didn't want to let go of Real Daddy yet. "Lily, when we get to the hospital, we're going to need to get you checked out, okay? And then maybe someone could come in and talk to you if you're feeling up to it. About while you were gone." Well, now I don't want to hug him. "No. I want to see Bella. I'm fine. Bella tooked care of me." "You'll get to see Bella. But they'll be working on her for a while, and we need to just double-check and make sure you're alright. I think Bella would want you to listen to what the doctors say," he argued. So rude. Even Daddy was on his side. "Daddy just wants to look you over once, okay, baby?" "Come here, baby." "Be a good girl, baby. Or I'll hurt Mommy."
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04/02/11 12:54:31 "Daddy loves you, baby."
"Please don't say that," I whispered to him, scared. "Lily? What's wrong? What did I say?" Daddy asked, stopping walking. You sound like him. Please don't talk like Bad Daddy. "Please don't call me baby. I don't like that. Not anymore," I sniffled, crying because it made me so sad and scared and now I wanted Bella again. He looked sad, but he didn't look mad. "Is Lilybug still okay? Or princess?" Those were good names. Bad Daddy never called me those names. "Yeah, Daddy. Just not...the other one." "Lily," he said, pushing my hair out of my face. "I love you." That made me smile. "I love you too, Daddy." I hugged him while he carried me to where the noise was getting bigger and bigger. It wasn't a airplane, it was a helicopter. I'd never seen one of those up close before. Daddy carried me into it and put headphones on my ears and then let me sit in his lap all the way in the sky. I held Snuffles in my lap and covered his ears, too. When we landed at the hospital, right on the roof, they took Bella right away and Papaw was telling them all of his doctor stuff while they went downstairs in the elevator. Bella's Daddy stayed with me and Daddy and Daddy was trying to tell him more doctor stuff. An old lady nurse was trying to take me away from Daddy and I was about to scream when Daddy stopped her.
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"Um, hi, excuse me. Can I ask what the fuck you think you're doing?" Ooh, Daddy. Nana's gonna be mad at you. "I'm just trying to place her on a stretcher so we can take her downstairs to have her examined, sir." Please don't let her take me away, Daddy. "Look, lady, um, Nurse...Madison, I know you're just trying to do your job, but I haven't seen my daughter in over three weeks. There's no way in hell she's leaving my sight or arms, so I would appreciate if you could just point us in the right direction, and we'll be glad to go wherever you need us to so she can be examined." I knew he wouldn't let me go again. So we went downstairs while Daddy told Bella's Daddy all the doctor stuff. He looked so worried, but I didn't understand why. Bella said she was going to be fine. Bella's Daddy had lots of questions that even my daddy couldn't answer. "What was that Carlisle was saying about sepsis? And that seizure that happened?" Daddy didn't know. "Charlie, we really won't know until we get some of the labwork back. The seizure could have been in reaction to her fever, any medication he's given her,-" They don't know about her medicine. "He makes her take lots of medicine," I told him, because they shouldn't give her anymore or she'd be more sicker.
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"Do you know how much?" Daddy asked soft. "I don't know, a lot. Every time he makes her make food for us. They're really tiny, and she said the red ones are bad, and expecially the black kinds. They make her sleepy and she forgets stuff. It gets her in trouble..." I didn't want to talk about this anymore. This was making me sad. I remembered the sounds when she got in trouble. "Okay, Lily. You don't have to talk about it anymore. Thank you for telling me. That helps a lot," Daddy said, giving me a big hug for my help. "Thank you, Lily," Bella's Daddy said. "You really are a great helper." He's just like Bella! "That's what Bella calls me when I help her. Her big helper," I said, giving him a happy smile. "I helped so much, Daddy. Bella said you're gonna be so proud of me to hear how much I helped. And how good I listened. I listened to Bella so good, Daddy. To everything she told me, even when it was hard." He was so proud of me. "I want to hear all about it, princess." "I can't wait 'til Bella's better so we can go to Disneyworld. It's going to be so much fun! Bella's gonna carry me everywhere, she promised." "Disneyworld? Who's going to Disneyworld?" he laughed. This was not a joke. "We are, Daddy! Everybody! Bella let me plan my very own perfect day, and we're going to have her family and my family and we're all going to go and meet all the princesses. Daddy, Bella tried to say that Eric would think I'm Ariel 'cuz we're going to be so beautiful after Aunt Ali does our makeovers. You don't think he'll try to kiss me, do you?"
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He laughed at me all the way into the hospital room. "I hope not, Lily, because I'd hate to have to punch a prince." He wouldn't. "Daddy! You can't punch Prince Eric!" I cried. Ariel would be so sad. "Do you mind if I stay in here until the doctor gets in? I'll pace a hole in the floor if I don't stay distracted..." Bella's Daddy said. "Of, course, Charlie. You're fine," Daddy told him. Bella's Daddy was being bouncy and worried, but he didn't look like what I thought he'd look like. "Where's your uniform?" He looked at me funny, like he didn't know what I said. I hoped he wasn't sick, too. "Huh? "Your uniform," I said slow, so he'd understand. "I thought police ossifers were supposed to wear a uniform." "How could you tell I was a police officer?" he smiled. How did he think? "Bella told me. Bella told me all about you. Where is Bella?" I hadn't seen her since we got here. Couldn't she stay in the room with me? But then Nana and Aunt Ali came in. I didn't know Nana came too! "Nana! Aunt Ali!" I smiled, ready for big hugs, but Nana was crying. "Nana, what's a matter? Why are you sad? Don't you wanna see me?" 13. Chapter 13 141
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Nana stopped hugging me to shake her head and wipe her nose. "Of course I do. These are happy tears. I just missed you so much, baby." "That's not right, baby. Don't be stupid like your mom." "You better hurry up, baby." "You love daddy, don't you, baby?" "What? What is it? What's wrong?" Nana cried and then that made me cry more. "I don't like to be called baby. I don't like that name! Don't call me that name!" Why didn't they understand? Bella would make me feel better. "I want Bella! Where's Bella?" Daddy tried to help, but he just made it worse. He wasn't listening. "It's okay, sweetie-" No! That's Bella's name for me! "That's what Bella calls me! I want Bella!" I cried. Somebody, please! I need her! "Bella! Mommy! Mommy!" I screamed. Maybe if she heard me, she would come. She always took care of me. "Bella! Mommy! Mooooo-mmmmmy!" It got really quiet after a while and I figured out that my daddy had me on his lap and he was rocking me like a baby to make me feel better. "I love you so much, Lily. It's okay. You're going to be okay. Please, Lilybug. Daddy's here. I've got you. I love you. I love you...Are you okay, Lily?" 13. Chapter 13 142
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Everybody left. Did they go to get Bella? "Can I see Bella now, Daddy?" I asked him soft, because now my throat was hurting again. "Not yet, Lily. As soon as she's stable, I'll take you to see her, but right now, we would just be in the way. And we still need to get you checked out, too. You're going to need to be all healthy to go to Disneyworld, right?" he said, sounding sad and crying, too. But that made me feel a little better. I forgot about Disneyworld again. "So we'll really go? All of us? What are you going to do while we have our sleepover?" He didn't look like he understood. "Sleepover?" Maybe he never had a sleepover before. "Yeah. No boys allowed. Just girls. Are you going to have a sleepover, too?" He nodded and gave me a daddy smile. "Yep, that sounds good." Then a man came in the room. I hid in Daddy's shirt to keep him from seeing me. Please don't let him take me away this time. "Mr. Cullen, Lily, my name is Dr. Robert Smith. You can just call me Dr. Bobby like everybody else does, okay?" he said, sounding maybe nice. "'Kay." "I understand you breathed in a little bit of smoke recently, is that right?" he asked and I wondered how he knew. I nodded yes, but I didn't want to look at him.
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"Well, my nurse here, Nurse Sam, has a fun game for you to play. We need for you to blow in this tube and try to move this little ball here. If you can get it all the way to the top, I'll give you a lollipop," he said, but he didn't tell me if I'd be punished instead. "What happens if I can't?" I asked, but I didn't really want to find out. He smiled nice. "Nothing bad, my dear. We'll just need to give you a little oxygen to breathe in for a while. After you finish the breathing game, we're going to give you a little look-over to make sure you're A-ok." I nodded okay and the nurse lady came over and put the big straw in my mouth and told me to blow. The little ball inside went all the way to the top and she took the straw out of my mouth and gave me a lollipop out of her pocket. She binked me on my nose before she left, taking her machine with her. The doctor came over while I was licking it with his stethoscope in his hand. "Well, Lily, this is kind of my heartbeat telephone, and I'm going to use it to listen to the heart inside your body for a minute." That's ridiculous. "That's a stuffoscope. Are you sure you're a real doctor? My daddy's a real doctor. Maybe he should look at me." I liked my daddy better anyway. Especially when he laughed, like he was right now. "I can see I'm dealing with somebody who knows their stuff. I'm used to little girls who are scared of the doctor. I didn't know I was dealing with such a big girl. Yes, I am a real doctor, and I'm going to use my stethoscope to listen to your heartbeat and your lungs. Is that alright with you?" the doctor laughed a little bit. I guess he thought he was making a joke. I nodded that it was okay while he checked my air and my heart and I did so good he gave me another lollipop.
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"Well, Dr. Cullen, Lily here sounds just fine. A special doctor's going to come in a moment to look you over some more, so if I don't see you again before you go home, it was very nice to meet you. Can I talk to your daddy outside for a moment, Miss Lily?" "Can I go see Bella while you talk to him?" And then we could go home. But he frowned at me and shook his head. "She's not quite ready for visitors yet, but I saw your grandmother waiting right outside. Would you like me to send her in?" I already saw her. "Okay." I watched Daddy go out with the doctor and talk to Nana for a little bit, and she still looked like she was crying. Aunt Ali and Uncle Jazz were there, too. I started to get excited again when they all came in. "Hi guys!" I giggled as they all came over to hug me. "Oh, Lily! We missed you so much!" Aunt Ali said as she squeezed me tight. "I missed you, too, Aunt Ali," I sniffled. I missed Daddy the most, but I loved everybody else, too. "You guys took a long time." Nana made a funny noise, but Aunt Ali stopped hugging me to hug Nana and then she seemed better. "I guess we sorta did, short stuff," Uncle Jazz said as he messed up my hair. "But tell me the truth...You missed me the most." I shook my head, giving him a big smile. "What?" he said, acting all surprised and holding his heart. "Broccoli?" 13. Chapter 13 145
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I shook my head again, trying not to laugh. "Stinky Uncle Em?" I giggled, but I shook my head. "I give up. Tell me." "I missed my real daddy the most," I giggled. Uncle Jazz looked at me kind of funny, but then he smiled again. "You mean to tell me you didn't miss my horsey rides the most?" "I missed horsey rides!" I said, getting excited. "How now, brown cow?" Uncle Jazz said as he poked my nose. "What about that horsey ride?" "Have you seen Bella?" I wanted to know. That was more important than a horsey ride. "We can't see her quite yet, Lily," he said softly. "The doctors need a little more time to help her get better." "She was really sick. Are they gonna give her her blood back?" Aunt Ali made a funny noise with Nana, but Uncle Jazz wrinkled his nose at me so I didn't look. "They are giving her everything she needs to get better. Try not to be too worried about her, okay?" I looked at him sad, trying not to cry again. "But I love her. I have to worry about her if she's still sick."
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"I didn't say you couldn't worry about her, Lily," he said as he sat down next to me on the bed. "I just don't want you to worry too much. She's got doctors and your Papaw and her daddy to take care of her right now." "You're gonna love her," I told him, bouncing a little bit because I was too still. "You are. She's sooo cool. She writes books and she knows how to cook everything and she knows Little Mermaid songs and grownup songs and she makes stories and she's gonna carry me at Disneyworld. All day. And I think maybe she'll help me get Daddy to let me have ice cream for breakfast if we can find banana." "We already do love her," Aunt Ali said as she crawled into the bed behind me. "How could we not? She's soooo cool and she brought us back you." "Did you know I'm her sweetie and her big helper?" I asked turning around as Nana sat down at the bottom of the bed. "You are?" Nana asked, surprised. "Yeah!" I nodded. "I can help cook and clean and pinch and tell stories, too! And I can even sing a grownup song." "Can we hear it?" Aunt Ali asked, with a big smile. But I couldn't sing it without Bella. That was our song. I needed to sing it to her. "Where is Bella?" I asked again. "Upstairs, Lily," Uncle Jazz said. "Did you forget about that horsey ri-" He stopped talking when I heard Daddy outside my room yelling at the doctor.
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"I think Daddy just said a bad word," I told them. "Hey, short stuff!" Uncle Jazz said, loud and bonked my nose. "I keep trying to give you a horsey ride and you keep turnin' me down. You're gonna hurt my horsey's feelings if you're not careful." He started bouncing his leg up and down really high while Aunt Ali picked me up and sat me down on it. The whole room was going up and down and up and down and it was so, so funny. I didn't even see Daddy come back in until somebody started talking at the door. "Hell, Lily! My name is Ann. Can I come in and talk to you for a little while?" she asked, with a weird smile. Daddy didn't make me answer her, because he had Nana and Aunt Ali go get me some breakfast, even if I couldn't have ice cream. Bella would help me get some. Daddy came over and pulled me into his lap and Uncle Jazz stayed next to me while that lady sat down in front of us. "So Lily. I'd like to talk to you for a little bit. I'm going to ask you some questions, and there's no right or wrong answer. You won't be in any trouble for anything you say, do you understand?" I snuggled into Daddy, getting comfortable. "I think so." "So, let's start with an easy one. What's your name?" She just said it. "Lily Autumn Cullen." Duh.
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She did that weird smile again. "Such a beautiful name. You've been away for a few days. Are you happy to be back with your daddy?" Duh. "Of course. I knew my real daddy would find me. Bella promised he was looking for me. Can I see Bella?" A lady with brown hair walked by the window, but I was pretty sure it wasn't her. "Not just yet, Lily. The doctors are still with Bella right now. You said your real daddy would find you. Do you want to tell me a little bit about the man you were with?" "No." Never. "That's fine. Thank you for answering me. I do need to ask you some questions about what happened while you were there, though. Can I ask you a couple of questions?" You already did. "I don't want to talk about it. I want Bella," I said, because I didn't like her and her weird smile and her questions. "Alright, Lily," she said, soft but not nice. "I don't want to make you upset. I'm just trying to find out if you've been hurt." "He never hurt me. He always hurt Bella. I need to see if she's okay! Daddy, take me to Bella! Please!" Why couldn't I just see her a little bit? Daddy held me and made it better while Uncle Jasper got rid of the weird smile lady. But then he came back in with a new one. But at least she wasn't smiling weird.
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"Lily, I'm sorry about that. Are you feeling any better now?" Uncle Jazz asked. I'd be better as long as she didn't come back. "Is that lady going to come back? I don't like her." He shook his head no. "No, Lily. She's not going to come back. This is my new friend Beth, and she's going to stay in the room while we talk some more, if that's okay with you?" Hmph. I never met her before. "Are you nice?" She had a good smile. "I think so. I see you're holding a friend in your lap. I brought you a present, but you don't have to play with it if you don't want to..." I like her. "A present? What kind of present?" She pulled out a dolly from behind her papers. "A baby doll. Would you like to see her? Her name is Lily, too." No way. "Like me! Like me! I want her! Please!" She gave it to me right away and she was so pretty. "Here you go, Lily. Do you like her? She's not quite as pretty as you." "She's so pretty! She's new. The other dolly I played with was-" I stopped talking because Daddy had a sad look on his face.
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New Lady smiled a nice smile. "It's okay, Lily. You don't have to worry about upsetting anyone. Nothing you say will make anyone mad at you. Go ahead and finish your sentence. The other dolly you played with was..." I didn't really want to talk about it. "She was old. She wasn't very pretty." New Lady smiled and nodded and didn't make me talk about it anymore. "Well, this dolly is yours to keep now. I'm glad you like her. Are her clothes okay?" They were. But she'd look better in my pink one at real home. "So...does your Lily doll have any owies she wants to tell me about?" Well...if the dolly was my name and I was the dolly... "She's a little bit hungry. And thirsty. Her throat is still kind of itchy. There was a fire." New Lady nodded her head. "That must have been scary. Is she okay?" If the dolly was me and we were playing pretending... "Yeah. Her mommy got her out in time." New Lady put down her papers and looked kind of serious and sad. "When your daddy found you, and he was trying to help Bella, you got upset when he tried to touch her pants. Can I ask you why it would be bad if someone tried to touch there?" she asked, pointing at one of the spots nobody can touch. "Bella told me. Bella told me that nobody's ever supposed to touch there. That's private spots. She told me how to fight if somebody ever tried. He hurt her that night..." I didn't want to talk about that night. That was the worst night ever. That was the night when she started to get 13. Chapter 13 151
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"That's alright, Lily. We don't need to talk about that right now. You're doing such a good job. Can I ask some more questions about your dolly?" she asked and I didn't know why we had to play this game. "Yeah." "Does your dolly ever have to take medicine?" "I hate medicine," I told her, mad and getting madder. Medicine ruined everything. New Lady sat back and Uncle Jazz leaned forward. "What's bad about medicine, Lily? If your dolly got sick, wouldn't she need medicine to get better?" I never had to take the medicine. Only mommies had to take the medicine. And they didn't want it. "No, my dolly never gets sick." He looked at my dolly and asked some more. "But her mommy? Does her mommy ever need medicine?" "No," I cried. They didn't understand. Medicine was bad. "Not that kind. It made her sick, and sleepy, and it made her get in trouble, and forget stuff. I tried to pinch her to help, and she said I was her big helper. And then she couldn't eat sometimes, and I know she was hungry. And then when she got really sick, he kept giving her medicine, but it wasn't making her better, and she couldn't waked up for a long time and then he made her bleed..." And it was so scary and I thought she wasn't going to wake up and-
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"Alright, Lily. We don't need to talk about this anymore today. You did a really good job. Nana should be back with your muffin soon. And then we'll let you take a nap," New Lady said. But I needed to see Bella! "No! I can't sleep without Bella! She needs me! I help her! She has bad dreams, and she cries! And when I'm sad she sings to me, and she helps me make stories so I can be an Arthur like her, she promised she wouldn't leave me! Please let me see her!" I asked her, over and over again. She stood up and nodded her head. Finally. "Okay, Lily. Let me go check and see how Bella's doing. I'll be back in a little while to let you know. But you have to calm down for me. I want to be able to tell Bella how good you've been while she was sleeping." I tried to stop crying to be good so I could go. "Yes, yes, I'll be good, I promise," I promised. I meant it. She just needed to hurry. She smiled one more time at me, nice. "You take good care of that dolly for me, okay? I'll be back soon. Bye-bye for now, Lily." Nana, Aunt Ali, Aunt Rose and Uncle Em came in and Nana had food. While I was eating, Daddy went outside with Uncle Jazz and Uncle Em. "Nana, did you know you can make chocolate-chip muffins?" I asked her while I was drinking some chocolate milk. "No, Lily, I didn't," she said, taking a brush out of her purse and brushing my hair. "Have you had them before?" "No," I shook my head away from the tangles in her brush. "Bella told me about them. She's gonna make me some someday. Did you see her yet?"
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"No, but I did see her daddy and your Papaw. Papaw said they're working very hard to make her better." "How are you feeling?" Aunt Rose asked me. "Uh...I don't know," I said. "I think Aunt Rose just wants to know if you need anything, like if you're cold or still hungry, Lily," Aunt Ali said. "Oh! No, I'm not cold. It's a lot warmer here than it was in the rain. I'm all dry now. Did you know they make banana ice cream? Bella told me," I said, watching Aunt Rose watch Uncle Em through the window. "What are you lookin' at?" "Your uncle," she said, breathing out all heavy. "I'll be right back." She got up and walked into the hall for a second and popped Uncle Em upside the head. He must have said a bad word. How did she hear it? She came back in and then Daddy came back with the other boys. "Lily, do you want to lie down and take a nap?" Daddy asked. This is ridiculous. "No way. I am not going to take a nap until I know how Bella is. Will you go check on her, Daddy? Please? I'll wait here and be good, I promise, just go make sure she's okay. That other lady's taking too long," I begged. I turned on my face that always made Bella do what I want. "Okay, Lily. I'll go check on Bella, and when I come back, you and I are going to take a nap. Deal?" "Yes, yes!" I gave him my pinky to promise it. "Thank you, Daddy! I promise!"
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He pinky-promised me and he even kissed it, but then he got all weird about it. "What? What is it?" "That's what Bella does, too!" I smiled big. "How'd you know?" He smiled our special grin. "I dunno. I guess she's just cool like me." "She's so cool, Daddy!" I bounced too much and fell off of Nana's lap. "Oops! Oh, Daddy, come here." I made him bend down so I could explain. "Tell Bella I love her, Daddy. Even if she's sleeping, it'll make her feel better. It always does." He said yes and then left, so I was still with Nana and everybody. "Lily! I've been in this room for two whole minutes and you haven't laughed at me yet! What's the deal?" Uncle Em asked, acting all sad and stuff. "You didn't do anything funny yet," I said, and then everybody laughed. "Oh, yeah?" he asked. "Well, watch this." He started jumping around and doing stupid chicken dances while Daddy was gone until he finally came back. "Daddy! How's Bella?" I asked, bouncing around, but not a big bounce, because I was getting tired. "She's doing well, Lily. They're giving her medicine right now, the good kind, that's going to make her better. In a little while, they're going to take her to fix her ankle, and once they do that, she should wake up a few hours later."
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"Can I see her when she wakes up?" He smiled, hugging me. "Yeah, Lily. But only if you get some sleep now, okay?" He laid down with me on the bed and everybody got quiet or left or something. "Okay, Daddy. Did you tell her?" It was really important that he remembered. "I did, princess. And..." He was saying stuff, but I was feeling all soft and sleepy. If Bella knew I loved her then she would be okay. I thought I felt Daddy give me a kissy on my head, but then I didn't remember anything else. It was just warm. Real Daddy. A/N: Next outtake will be posted on Monday. ChPOV of his first night back in Forks (The Breakdown) It's the last sad one. :)
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A/N: This is the last sad one! It's when Charlie goes home for the first time after finding Bella. In the EPOV outtake from Chapter 28, Charlie mentions to Edward that he had a bit of a breakdown. This is that story. Because it's sad, I've decided to post a happy one right after. It will be the time Charlie took Lily to the playground for the first time. : ) Next update: Wednesday. Chapter 23 Outtake: Charlie Goes Home ChPOV "Everything's all loaded up," Emmett grinned, dusting his hands off. I laughed, outstretching my hand. "Yeah. Thanks for taking care of all three of those suitcases for me, gentlemen." Jasper and Emmett each shook with me, and then I turned to Edward. "Thanks again, for...all this," I motioned to the house and Bella, mostly Bella. "No need, Charlie," he nodded. He turned towards the house, a smile creeping up his face as he saw her standing in the doorway next to Lily. Clearing my throat to get his attention again, he jerked back around as if he had forgotten I was still standing there. Probably had. That boy only had eyes for my Bella. Smirking at him, I shook his hand firmly once before climbing into the cruiser. I had a long drive ahead of me. Once I hit the highway, it was clear all the way with nothing but my own thoughts to occupy myself. I tried to wrap my head around everything that had happened in the last three weeks. Hell, the last six weeks. From going half-crazy out of my mind with worry to finding her in those woods, thinking for a split second we were too late... 14. Chapter 14 157
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And then watching my baby girl get better. I wished I could say that I was the one that raised her to be that strong or even give the credit to her mom, but I knew better. Bells raised herself into the woman she was now, the kind of woman that had more strength than any man I'd ever known. I'd thought I had a few more years before I'd see her become a mother, but the bond between her and the little one... I was going home a Grandpa. Er, Papaw. Home alone. I wished I could bring her home with me, but I knew it wasn't right. If I tried to take her, I'd probably find Lily tucked away in a suitcase. Edward might even be in the trunk. The three of them...there was no separating them now. It didn't make going home without her any less painful. I'd only just gotten her back and I'd seen her with more life in her these last few weeks than in the last two years. Even with all the scars and bruises on her tiny, starved body, there was no mistaking her happiness. That was the real reason I didn't try to take her home. That and the whole needing help with showers thing. Plus, being in Forks just brought her that much closer to Jacob. That little punk had his cards marked. Every damn day we were at the hospital, I would get called down to reception and have to tell him to take his cheap flowers and leave. He'd tried every trick in the book. Tried playing the best friend card, the caring ex-boyfriend, the pining ex-fianc ...he never was the sharpest tool in the shed. He'd tried getting angry, tried crying, tried guilting me into 'letting Bella make her own decisions.' If I didn't love his father like he was my own brother, he'd have been fish food for the mudsuckers in Lake Ozette a long time ago.
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I'd screwed up more times with her than I could count, but I could at least keep her from him. God, the screw-ups. Why she didn't just dump me on my ass years ago, I'd never know. I let Renee walk away with her, take her all over the country, left her to raise herself while I stayed in my little hole away from the world. I'd thought, or at least I'd told myself at the time that it was the right thing. A girl needed her mother and Renee was always a little crazy, but she loved Bella in her own way. But it never occurred to me she'd think I didn't want to see more of her, that there was even a slight chance I'd say no when she called me up and asked if she could live with me. I'd been so grateful to see more of her I played up the overprotective fatherly role, just to try and show her she always meant so much to me, even though I was missing some kind of gene that left me incapable of just saying that aloud. She'd let me love her the only way I knew how, cleaning my gun in front of boys, making her keep a curfew, not that she ever pushed the rules and needed one. She'd been pretty much the perfect daughter and then I made her think there was something wrong with her by pushing her to be with Jacob. Looking back, I think it was just another time I was being selfish. Jacob had strong ties to the area and would never leave La Push. And if she married him, she'd always be close. I never took into account that maybe that wouldn't be what she wanted. I wondered sometimes what would have happened if I never shoved her onto Jacob. If she would've gone out of state to one of those Ivy universities that she got accepted to. If she would've still written her books, or maybe written even more because she didn't have to put her life on hold to recover from all the crap he did to her. Jesus. If somebody could hear my thoughts right now, they'd be begging for a bullet to the brain.
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I pulled into the driveway, staring up at my house. It was dark and about to rain, surprise, surprise. Fitting for my mood, it seemed. Time for a drink. I was glad to find three six-packs in the fridge as I wasn't eager to make any late night trips to the corner store. Sitting at the kitchen table, I drained through four tall boys quickly, stewing in my thoughts. It was so quiet in this house, had been ever since Bella left years ago. She'd always been a quiet light here, leaving dinner for me warm in the oven on nights when I got off my shifts late, never once leaving a dirty dish in the sink or a speck of dust on the floor. It burned straight through my chest to remember her visits to check on me each month, never saying a word about the mess in the place. It wasn't her lasagna or the clean bathroom she'd leave behind, it was the memories of her. Her laugh as I tried to explain away the last explosion in the microwave or her sweet smile and shake of her head when I'd offer to help half-heartedly. I'd done everything half-assed when it came to her. Pushing back from the table roughly, I started to feel those beers but shook it off, grabbing another. I looked around my kitchen, still mostly clean from Bella's last visit, now almost two months ago. Except for that oven. I'd made a mess reheating her lasagna and never cleaned it because I'd gotten the call she'd been taken. Well, I wasn't waiting for her to do it for me this time. Reaching under the sink, my hand hit a couple of bottles before I found something I thought was okay to use. Ooh. And my whiskey. I'd forgotten about that bottle down there. Well, if I was ever in the mood to need the hard stuff, tonight was it. I took two generous swigs of it, chasing the welcome burn with another beer. 14. Chapter 14 160
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One six-pack down. Two to go. I got on my hands and knees, steadying myself on the oven door as I peered inside. There was charred, black...stuff on the bottom and I wasn't exactly sure what I needed to do. Squinting at the directions on the can, I decided to skip that presoaking nonsense and just get to it. I sprayed a generous amount to the bottom of the oven, having missed the part of the directions that said to stay back a foot when applying. The oven filled quickly with the acidic smelling mist and I jerked up out of there, hitting my head on the roof of it on my way out. "Argh, sonuvabitch, goddamn, piece-a-shit," I cursed, rubbing the top of my head and glaring at the oven. "You wanna play hardball, you bastard?" I stomped over to my sink, grabbing some steel wool to attack. I scrubbed my fingers raw, but I got that sucker clean. Celebrating with another swig or four, I grabbed another beer before leaving the kitchen. The smell of that cleaner made me sick to my stomach. Stumbling into the living room, I plopped down into my La-Z-Boy. As I went to sip on my beer, my eyes came into focus on the TV right in front of me. My beer froze on my lips as I swallowed bitterly, remembering more and more of my failures to Bella. "Stupid piece of shit!" I yelled, chucking my beer at the screen. It splattered and fizzed with little effect, so I charged it. "How many hours a day'd I watch you, huh? 'Cause the goddamn Mariners're sooo important?" Wrapping my hands around the top and bottom, I yanked, feeling the wires in the wall tug and start to rip apart with great satisfaction. "C'mon," I grunted, pulling again, this time hearing the wall crack as it gave way and the mounts broke off from it. 14. Chapter 14 161
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"Oomph," I groaned, as the TV fell to the floor sideways. Huffing with exertion, I started to drag it through the room. I wanted this trashy piece of shit out. I dragged through the kitchen, hearing the scratch of the linoleum beneath the TV's sharp edges. Kicking open the back door, I pushed it out, watching it land in the back yard in a puddle of mud. "Good riddance." Ah, hell. I think I sprained my back. Draining another beer as I walked back into the living room, I nodded in satisfaction at the blank hole in my wall. Until my eyes fell on the fishing poles propped up against the corner next to my tackle box. "Fuck you, too!" I shouted, tripping over something as I made my way over to them. I attempted to snap them over my leg, but those stupid titanium poles wouldn't budge. Grabbing the tackle box, I tried slamming that down on them to make a dent, make a crack, anything to get them gone. Even back when I only saw Bells for two weeks a year, I still fished. 'Cause I was a bitter old man that thought he was doing the right thing not talking to her so I didn't badmouth her mom. All I really did was lose precious time with my little girl. Time I could never get back. Giving up on the tackle box approach, I threw the poles out of sight and ran the box to the kitchen where I dumped every last bait and hook into the trash. I wanted to burn it, but I couldn't find a goddamn match to save my life. I started rummaging around the house to try and find one, but instead I found what I had stumbled on before. Stupid, four-hundred dollar fish-finding sonar machine. Stupid, expensive, piece of ignore-my-daughter crap machine. "Well, you can just go to hell with the Sony," I sneered, throwing it down on the TV outside, grinning as I saw the screen crack. I swayed back into the kitchen, taking a rest on the floor there, my adrenaline fading. I 14. Chapter 14 162
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wasn't left with much once it did. Something started buzzing somewhere and it took me a minute to figure out it was coming from inside my shirt pocket. Fumbling around, I was able to bring my phone out as I tried to focus on the screen. I couldn't really see the words, but it was from Bella. Probably called to check on me and made sure I got home okay. Was I supposed to call her? No, I wasn't gonna call her. She didn't need to hear me all upset like this. I was no good to nobody. This was why I was alone. I should stay alone. I should warn Sue off. She was too nice to get mixed up with the likes of me. It took a few tries, but I was able to get it ringing eventually. "Mmello?" "I woke you up," I realized. "I shouldn't've called at all. Sssorry." "Charlie? Is that you?" Swallowing, I nodded. "Charlie? Are you there?" "Yeah, s'me. I gotta go. I'm no good for you, Sue. You stay far away from me. I'm...I'm...no good." "Charlie, what's going on? Have you been drinking? Where are you?" "Home," I sighed. "I'm at home. All alone. No Bella. No good for her, either." "Oh, dear. You're not planning on driving anywhere, are you?" I shook my head, sliding down the refrigerator a bit.
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"I asked if you...oh, never mind. You're not to leave that house, understand?" "Mmyeah," I grunted, pushing myself back up straight. "Alright. Give me an hour." And I heard a click. I didn't know what she needed an hour for, but she'd hung up and I'd told her what she needed to know. I tripped up the stairs to hit the head and tripped back down, ready for another drink. I just grabbed the whole six-pack out of the fridge and lugged it over to my couch. I'd take care of that stupid fucking La-Z-Boy tomorrow. Smiling sadly at the photo albums on my coffee table, I snagged the one on top and sat down with it. "My little baby girl," I sniffed, rubbing her chubby cheeks. I knew everyone always thought they had the prettiest baby in the world, but they'd never seen my Bella as a baby. I laughed at pictures of myself, just turned nineteen and afraid to break her. I'd never been more terrified than that first time I held her. And I'd never loved someone so much as her, not even Renee. I'd spent so many years bitter and angry toward Renee. Bella had suffered then, because I couldn't stand the thought of speaking to Renee to get to her. Over time, the pain had faded to indifference that unfortunately passed onto Bella. I couldn't seem to stop hurting her. "Oh, Charlie."
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Jumping, I reached blindly for a weapon to use against the intruder, knocking my beer over onto the album. "Shit!" I yelled, stumbling over my own feet as I tried to stand. "Oh, Jesus. Just sit down." Too drunk to argue, I obeyed. A lamp on the end table was flicked on and Sue's worried face came into view. "Stay," she ordered, pointing a finger straight at me. I nodded, slumping back against the couch. That's what she meant when she said an hour. I was too drained to be embarrassed or care. She came back in a minute later with a towel and a glass of water. "Drink that now," she said as she mopped up the beer. "Coffee's cookin'. Say goodbye to these." She waved the remainder of my six-pack at me before taking it into the kitchen where I heard her drop them in the trash. She moved about in there for a bit, but the day was starting to wear on me and I couldn't find it in me to try and figure it out. It smelled good, whatever it was. After a while, she came back in with a tray and set it down in front of me. "You eat that and drink that and then we'll talk," she said simply, leaving me to it while she disappeared back into the kitchen. She's in there a lot. Shrugging to myself, I wolfed down the bowl of beans and rice and threw back the black coffee as fast as I had those dozen or so beers I drank earlier. The more the room started to come into focus, the worse I felt. I'd just destroyed my house and called up the first woman I'd found attractive in twenty years in the middle of the night to see it all. I hadn't 14. Chapter 14 165
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even taken her on a date yet and she was over here taking care of me. I wondered if she'd agree to elope. She walked back in then, drying off her hands on a towel. Sitting down on the couch across from me, she settled in and looked at me expectantly. "So, Charlie? Had a bit of an argument with your house, I take it?" Against my will, a laugh escaped me, followed by another one. She smiled then, leaning back. "There we go. That's a much better look on you than drunk and stupid." Embarrassed, I nodded, smiling sadly. "I'm real sorry you had to see me like that, Sue. I shouldn't've called you." "No," she argued, shaking her head. "I'm glad you did. You obviously need someone right now and I'll freely admit I don't mind it being me." "Yeah?" I asked, surprised. "Yeah," she replied softly, laying her hand palm-up between us on the couch. I reached over slowly, slipping my hand into a woman's for the first time in too long. "I'm really sorry," I mumbled quietly. She pursed her lips at me, her eyes crinkling a bit at the corners with an invisible smile. "Well...this won't be a regular thing, will it? You did mean to take me for a proper night out sometime, didn't you?" Chuckling, I nodded. "I did. I still do, if you're willing." 14. Chapter 14 166
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"Wouldn't be here if I wasn't, Chuck," she winked. "Maybe next Sunday? No drunk cleanup required," I joked. "I'll agree on one condition," she began, eyeing me playfully. "Name it." "Tell me what happened tonight," she said softly. I swallowed hard, blinking quickly. I wasn't about to cry in front of a woman. "I think...I might have had a little bit of a breakdown," I admitted, heaving a deep sigh at the sight of the large hole where my flat-screen used to be. "About?" she urged gently. And it all just came tumbling out. Never in my life had I spoken so many words in a row to a person. I told her about leaving Bella tonight, or last night at that point, every thing I'd done wrong with her that I could think or, probably scaring her away forever, but I just couldn't stop. Some of the words I choked out in pain, others I spit out in anger, most of them I admitted in shame. "I guess that's why I called you," I finished. "I just...you seem like a fantastic woman. I didn't want you to waste your time on an old man that can barely take care of himself. You deserve somebody better'n me." She shook her head at me sadly, wiping away a few tears. "Do you want to know that I think?" she asked hoarsely. I nodded, my throat too thick to speak. 14. Chapter 14 167
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"I think you're missing the bigger picture. Whatever's happened in the past is just that. The past. And you can't do a thing to change it. But you've got her now and you love her and you're trying your best. That's all we can ever do when it comes to our kids. "And I also think you don't get to decide for me what I deserve or what I get. Besides, you owe me a date, remember?" she smiled. "I do," I nodded, smiling wryly. "Thank you, Sue." She stood up, pushing me back to lying down on the couch and settled down against me. Pulling the old quilt down over us, she snuggled into my shoulder, urging me to sleep. "You're welcome, Charlie." .
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Chapter 26 Outtake: Papaw Charlie goes to the playground ChPOV "This was a lot of fun, Dad," Bella smiled. "You sure you won't get tired of me two days in a row tomorrow?" "Psh," I scoffed, shaking my head at her. "How am I supposed to get tired of my baby girl?" She didn't say anything, but I could tell she was still getting used to me loving her more openly. I was too, to be honest. I pulled into the Cullen's large driveway and cut the engine, giving her a stink-eye to stay put until I could help her. I saw her roll her eyes in the reflection of the window , but I didn't care. Rounding about the car and pulling her out carefully, I hovered behind her within arms' reach in case she fell. As soon as we walked in the door, she was stolen off by Rose and Alice, the two of them able to guide her up the stairs. As soon as Lily saw me she pulled me into the kitchen. I was filling a glass of water from the tap when she piped up. "Papaw Charlie, can you take me to the playground?" I froze. That sweet, little, innocent thing had no idea what she was asking. I knew there was no way Edward would agree to it and I didn't blame him. I set the glass down and took a seat at the table, pulling her onto my knee for a bounce. Not wanting to make him the bad guy that had to say no, I tried to reason her out of it just as he ran in with panic written all over his face. "Little One, you just went to the park yesterday."
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She twisted my mustache around, just like Bella used to do. I tried to twitch it around to distract her, but no such luck. "Yeah, but I didn't go with you. It's so much fun. C'mon!" "Well, how's about we ask your daddy. Edward? You feel like another trip to the park?" I smiled. It didn't seem like he had anything else going on and this way we'd keep the little one happy. Lily snapped in immediately. "No, I went to the park with Daddy yesterday. I wanna go with you today, Papaw." If I didn't know for a fact that Bella wasn't her biological mother, I'd have some questions for her and Edward. This child was a stubborn little thing. Unfortunately for her, Bella got that stubbornness from me. I opened my mouth to speak, but Edward beat me to it. "Alright, Lily. You can go with Papaw Charlie. That is, if you want to take her, Charlie." I must have heard him wrong. He was already sweating at the thought and he actually expected me to agree to this? "Edw-" He shook his head, staring pointedly at Lily. "Lily, go get your shoes on, okay?" She scampered off right away, always remembering her thank-yous. He practically stumbled over the table, already starting to panic. This was insanity. "Edward, you don't have to do this," I assured him. "Just come with us, or follow me, or something. You've got nothing to be ashamed of, son. You don't need to prove yourself to anybody." 15. Chapter 15 170
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He shook his head stubbornly, practically ripping his hair out. "No, Charlie. I have to ease up sometime. I can't keep her locked up here with me. You...you trusted me with your daughter, and I know I can trust you with mine. Just...please, can you be back in half an hour? I know that's not very long, but..." He lost his voice then as he struggled to maintain himself. Every time I looked at him, I saw the father I should have been to Bella. I wasn't sure if they'd straightened themselves out yet, but I hoped they had. I couldn't have created somebody better for my daughter. "Me and Lily will walk through that door at exactly 5:43. You have my word on that," I promised after a quick glance at the clock on the microwave. She ran back in then, yanking me out the door as fast as she could. I was a man split in three as we walked. Part of me was trying to get the image of Edward's pained face out of my head and hoping he was following us out of sight to ease his misery. I wouldn't take it personally, that's for sure. Another part of me was trying to listen to all the chatter coming out of that little one as she announced every single flower, bird and chipmunk she saw. And another part of me was on alert. Right now I was Papaw Charlie and Chief Swan. Nobody was getting past me to this little girl while I was still breathing. As a man walked his dog in our direction, Lily tucked in behind me, her little fists clinging to my pants leg. I picked her up until we passed, nodding to the man as he walked by. It was easy to forget that for all her cheerfulness and sweetness, she was still a very scared little girl and hurting. Checking the time when we got to the park, I realized it took us five minutes to get there, so I'd need to start gathering her up at 5:35, just to be safe. That gave us seventeen minutes to play.
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"Okay, Papaw. Slide's first!" she explained, dragging me over to it. She climbed up the ladder and sat at the top, looking down at me curiously. "What are you still doing down there? You have to slide with me." I blew out a long breath. "I don't think your Papaw Charlie will fit, Little One. How's about I catch you at the bottom?" She simply shook her head once and waited. I sighed, climbing up the ladder awkwardly until I reached the top and tried to fit myself behind Lily. Easier said than done. "You ready?" I grunted as she landed just a little too hard in the wrong spot in my lap. "Yep!" she sang and then squealed loudly all three seconds down the slide. "Again!" We must've looked like quite the pair, running from the bottom of the slide back to the stairs in circles, again and again until she finally got bored of it. "Swings time!" she ordered, pulling me by the hand at full speed ahead. I chuckled at her energy, trying my best to keep up with her. Scooping her up, I set her on the seat and gave her a push right away. "Higher! Higher!" she squealed, pumping her legs. "Now catch me!" What the hell? She let go of the chains when the swing was at its highest, flying out of the seat into the air. "Sonuva-" I scrambled around the swingset to catch her in time, ending up with her landing on me in an oomph, me sprawled out on the ground 15. Chapter 15 172
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and her on top of me. "Are you oka-" "Again!" she giggled, jumping off of me to run back to the swing. "No!" I shouted, freezing her. "Lily, that wasn't safe. Give your Papaw Charlie a break here. Let's try something else." She turned around, contemplating her next move when her eyes lit up. "Felix! Alec!" She ran past me and I turned to see her march up to a couple of little boys leaning against the jungle gym. She gave each of them a hug and one of them looked like he held on a little longer than was necessary. I don't think I like this. Straightening my spine, I stalked over to them and stood right behind Lily, my hands on her shoulders. "Boys? Your parents around? Or are you lost?" "Nah," Punk Number-One laughed. "We rode our bikes. We're allowed to as long as we're home before dark." Punk Number-Two, the hugger, piped up. "So you wanna play hide-and-seek, Lily?" "I don't think so, boys. Lily needs to stay where I can see her," I said firmly, narrowing my eyes on the hugger. He wasn't hiding no place with my granddaughter. A quick glance at my watch said we only had ten minutes left here anyway. "We play hide-and-seek all the time," Hugger argued, tugging on Lily's arm and earning an elbow from Punk Number-One.
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"You 'member what Mom said," he whispered in a hiss. "We're s'posed to be careful with her." Lily, oblivious, rolled her eyes. "Felix, c'mon. Let's play in the sandbox." Hugger/Felix ran off after her, but I stopped Punk Number-One with a firm hand on his shoulder. "What'd you mean, boy? About bein' careful with her." He shuffled his feet in the mulch, his eyes down. "'Bout what happened to her. Mom saw it on the news when it happened and then when she got back. She said we're not s'posed to ask her about it or be too rough with her if we see her." "Your mom sounds like a good, smart woman," I nodded. "You play with Lily a lot?" "Most everyday in the summer once school's out," he confirmed. "You keep your hands to yourself?" I asked, watching him closely for signs of lying. "Huh? Not if we're playin' tag," he answered, looking confused. "I don't really like holding hands with girls, but I have to when Lily wants. She's our girlfriend." Alarm bells, whistles and sirens started going off in my head and I motioned for him to get to stepping toward the sandbox. Felix was burying her feet in the sand there, making her giggle. Alec sat down beside her and, in a sign of sheer stupidity, reached over and held her hand. I cleared my throat loudly to get their attention. "Now, boys, I'm afraid you misunderstand something. It's not even a little bit appropriate to be talking about having boyfriends and girlfriends at your age. There's no 15. Chapter 15 174
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need for any of that until after you've graduated college. Understand?" The three of them nodded in unison, but the little idiot didn't let go of her hand. Leaning closer, I stared him dead in the eye. "That means no touching, son." "Can we still play married?" Lily asked sweetly and I noticed that Felix boy looked just a little too interested in her answer. "So long as there's no touching," I answered steadily, my eyes on Felix. "When can I marry her for real?" he asked, unnerved by me. Tough egg. "After college of course. After years of dating. Years," I emphasized. "But we can still play other games, right?" Alec asked, thankfully now a respectable distance away from her hand. Glancing at my watch, I winced, realizing we needed to hurry. Nodding, I reached over to pick up Lily. "You can, but not today. We've got to head home." "Aww," Lily protested, echoed by her two little 'friends.' "You can come to our house, Lily," Felix offered. "Me 'n Alec are having a sleepover." Setting her down, I leaned over him and spoke lowly. "Boy, you will sleep with that little girl when there's a ring on her finger and I'm dead, cold and buried in the ground." He looked over to Alec who shook his head and I rolled my eyes. What a couple of blockheads. Honestly. Realizing we were cutting it close, I picked her up again and slid her onto my back. 15. Chapter 15 175
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"Say bye to your friends, Lily. I'm gonna run you home in three...two....one!" "Bye guys!" she giggled as I took off for the Cullen's, laughing the whole way back. I say it every time, but I really do lubs my Charlie.
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A/N: Just a fun little missing scene from the story. The last outtake, the third epilogue will actually post to the end of TINML on Friday. Remember Me will start posting this Monday. Summary and link to the banner on my profile. Outtake: The First Big Fight (A Thursday in October) EPOV I tossed my keys into my locker and pulled on my lab coat, still waking up as a few other residents made their way blindly into the dressing room, looking no more alive than me at five-thirty in the morning. "Hey, Edward." "Hey, Garrett," I nodded back as I wrapped my stethoscope around my neck and closed the locker door. "How are your girls doing?" he yawned as he plopped down on the bench and changed his shoes. "Good," I smiled, trying not to yawn in return. "They're at home sleeping, like I should be." "Fucking amen to that, man," he muttered, right as our pagers started going off. Let the day begin. .
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My countdown to the end of my time in the ER was not just a daily X on my calendar, it was turning into a countdown of the minutes. I hated this. I wasn't cut out for it. People being brought in for overdoses, when I'd just treated them the month before for the same thing, addicts coming in and feigning different maladies to get some pain medication, elderly patients being brought in that I knew wouldn't make it until the end of the week... I became a doctor because I wanted to help people, all people, but working to the impossibly never-ending beat of the ER was not for me. The stress of the constant flow of patients, the buzzes and beeps of all the machines, everyone shouting because somebody always needed something... It was getting to me. I stuck my hand in my pocket and rubbed the picture of Bella and Lily from Lily's birthday party last month and relaxed minutely, just enough to be able to finish ordering off the necessary lab work for the patient in Room Two before I made my way to the next one. The day was passing by in a blur when we had three major traumas come in at once. "Cullen!" Dr. Eleazar shouted, the chief of the ER. "Yeah," I responded already jogging over to meet him by the ambulance entrance. "Car accident, three victims, all critical and unstable. Be advised, Caucasian male, alcohol level point-three-two at the scene. You'll take that one into Room Four. I've got the Caucasian female and Garrett's got the child." I nodded and waited with him for the ambulances to arrive, the male reaching the hospital first. We rushed him back and got to work 16. Chapter 16 178
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"Nikki, I need four units of O-neg. Lauren! Where is the ultrasound?" "I'm on it. They were using it in Room Six," she yelled back before disappearing through the doors. Nikki appeared beside me, holding the blood as I quickly put the line in and tried to stabilize the patient. Lauren wheeled in the portable ultrasound a moment later, handing it over to me immediately to try and determine where he was bleeding out from. If we didn't stop it soon, he wasn't going to make it. "Nikki, call the OR. Wherever the bleeding is, he's going to need surgery to stop it. Tell them to get it prepped. Now." I was running the probe along his abdomen after confirming that his lungs were undamaged when I chanced a look up at the raised voices coming from next door. Their patient was obviously not faring any better than mine. But what caused me to almost drop the sixteen thousand dollar piece of equipment on the floor was the flash of dark brown, curly hair, and blood. Everywhere. "Dr. Cullen!" Nikki's voice called out, concerned and warning. My hands shaking, I tried to resume my probing, pausing when I reached the spleen. "There. It's ruptured," I pointed out, pushing a button to print out a copy of the screen for the OR. "We need to get him up there immediately." We started to move, but I couldn't stop taking glances behind me, trying to get a clearer view of the woman in the trauma room next to mine. Right as we moved into the elevator, I caught a glimpse of the room on the other side of the woman. The child they were working on. And her hair was red. My red.
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The doors had already closed before I could try and get out and I punched them in frustration. "Dr. Cullen!" Nikki yelled, shaking her head at me in bewilderment. Wild, I spun around. "Do you know who the other two patients were that they brought in? Names? Ages? Anything?" Her mouth gaping like a fish, she exhaled shakily. "No, not really. Their car burned up at the scene. Right now they're just Jane Does. I think the woman is mid-twenties, the child is...young. Maybe five? Or eight?" "Five or eight?" I yelled. "What the hell? That's a big difference!" Nikki, who had been around a lot longer than I had and would probably still be here long after I was gone, hit her limit. "Dr. Cullen, this was the patient I was assigned to help. Right now, this is your patient as well. So I would suggest you snap out of it, focus and lower your voice, because if you speak to me that way again, you'll be the one needing surgery after I'm done with you." Shakily, I reached into my pocket, pulling out my well-worn picture. "Did you get a look at them? Can you just tell me, did the Jane Does look like them?" I croaked, really about to lose it. Her face softened immediately, but she didn't even glance at the picture. "Edward, I am absolutely positive that the two Jane Does are not Bella and Lily," she said kindly, yet firmly. "So you saw them?" I pressed. "What are the chances? A brown-haired woman and a red-haired child? You really got a good loo-"
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The elevator stopped at the surgery floor, cutting me off. We wheeled his gurney down through the hallways, turning him over to the surgeon after filling him in on what we knew. As we walked back to the elevator to make our way down, Nikki started talking before I could even resume my questions. "Edward, those patients are not your girls. But you can't be out there working on patients with shaking hands. You need to go take a minute. Call them and then come back," she said softly, but I heard the order in her voice. And I knew better than to ignore an order from her. That woman could run the ER in her sleep. I nodded, turning right instead of following her straight back to the ER, and headed over to the break room to make a quick call. If I could just hear her voice, I'd be fine. "Hi, you've reached Bella. Leave me a message and I'll call you back!" No, no, no. That's not what I meant. Pick up. Sixteen calls later and still, there was no answer. Unable to control the shaking in my hands any longer, I set the phone down on speaker atop the table and pushed the speed-dial for my mother's house. "Hello?" "Mom! Where is Bella?" "Hello, son. It's nice to hear from you, too. I'm doing fine, thank you for asking." I gritted my teeth, trying not to take out my frustration on her. "Mom. I can't get a hold of Bella. Is Lily with her?"
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I heard a sigh and I was about to start spitting profanities left and right when she finally answered. "No, dear. Lily is here with me. Bella dropped her off around eleven today. Do you need for her to pick up Lily or something?" "No, Mom. Can you put Lily on?" She didn't respond, but I could hear her muffled voice calling for Lily through the receiver. I could tell she was pissed, but I couldn't deal with that right now. I needed to hear my daughter's voice. I needed to know she was okay. "Hi, Daddy!" Waves of relief rippled through my body as I sank into a chair behind me. "Hi, sweetheart," I rasped. "How are you?" "I'm good, Daddy. I ate choclit chip cookies for breakfast. Bella says they were pancakes, but they tasted like cookies. We saved you some." "That sounds so good, little love," I smiled, trying to muffle my sniffling. "I miss you a lot today." "Uh...okaaay. But I'm having fun and I'm gonna go now." "Okay. I'll pick you up tonight, Lily." I heard some shuffling around on the phone and I was slowly feeling the chaos swimming around in my head calm down until my mother came back on. "Edward, is everything alright? What's got you so upset?"
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"I've tried calling Bella like twenty times and she's not picking up." "Edward. Don't get so worked up over something small like that. What do you need?" It isn't something small if I need to know she's alive and okay. "I need her to answer her goddamn phone is what I need," I snapped, hanging up before she could wring my neck for cussing at her. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I saw that I still had forty-five minutes until my shift was over. I stormed out of the break room and made my way back to the ER, only to be stopped by Dr. Eleazar. "Edward, I spoke with Nikki. I think you need to call it a day. Hand your patients over to Dr. Carmen. She came in early. You'll owe her one," he said firmly, nodding towards the exit. I opened my mouth to argue, but when my phone rang, it flew out of my hands in my hurry to try and answer it. Clenching my jaw, I nodded to him once before leaning down to pick up my phone and run back to my locker. "Bella?" "No, Edward. This is your mother. What on earth are you thinking talking to me like that?" "Mom, I'm sorry, I really am. But I just need to talk to Bella." "Edward, I don't understand. Is there something going on? Are you alright?" "No, Mom. I'm not. There was this trauma today and I thought...it looked like...Mom, I need to talk to her."
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"Oh, baby. Whatever happened, it wasn't them. Lily is here and she's completely safe. I'll try and get a hold of Bella. You go finish up at work. I'll have her call you, okay?" "No," I gritted through my teeth. "I'm off now. I'm just going to go check and see if she fell asleep at home or something. I'm going to wait to come get Lily until I know what's going on, alright?" "Okay. Just call me and let me know." I hung up without another word, tossing my coat into my locker and running out to my car at full speed. I raced through the streets to our house, calling Bella on repeat over and over again. Throwing my keys onto the table, I tore through the house, checking each and every room for some sign of Bella. "This is fucking unbelievable!" I screamed as her phone went to voicemail a-fucking-gain. I started running through my phone book, calling each and every person that knew Bella, only to hang up quickly every time they would say they hadn't heard from her that day. I was about to dial up one of the detectives from our case when I heard the front door open and close softly, almost missing the click of the latch. BPOV I was still chuckling silently as I made my way inside the house. Angie and I hadn't caught up like that in a long time. We had made tons of progress in regards to both my almost-finished book and the almost-finished script for the movie next year. Locking the door behind me, I was surprised to see Edward's keys already on the table when I set mine down. The house was too quiet for Lily to be home, but before I could even call out for him, he had flown down the stairs and I was backed up against the door, Edward's mouth moving against mine fiercely. His hands were everywhere, but there was nothing sexual in his touches. I was pretty sure he just counted my fingers.
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Wrenching myself back to breathe, I gasped out. "Edward! What's going on?" He didn't answer, just buried his face in my neck and crushed me to him, holding me so tightly I could barely breathe. "Edward," I tried again, my voice shaking slightly. "Tell me what's going on." "God, Bella," he breathed. "Baby, I was so worried." "Please tell me what's going on," I whispered, scared. He just shook his head, not releasing his tight grip on me. I pulled myself slowly from his hold, trying to get a read on his face. He looked worried and relieved all at the same time. "Edw-" "Look at your phone," he said softly, stepping back so I could dig through my purse. Shocked couldn't even begin to describe what I felt when I saw I had missed close to a hundred calls. "Where's Lily?" I screeched, my mind immediately racing with a million reasons why he would have called me so much and would explain why she wasn't here. "She's still at my mom's," he sighed. "I needed to find you before I picked her up...Jesus, Bella. You can't just disappear like that. What were you thinking?" His tone made my hackles raise instantly. It was the same tone he used when Lily left her shoes in the middle of the floor or threw her ball in the house.
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"Edward," I said carefully, trying to keep from reacting badly. "I didn't disappear. It's Thursday. I was with Angela. Just like every other Thursday." He sighed again, an exasperated sound, with the same look in his eye when he was about to talk Lily out of a tantrum. I will show you a tantrum. Watch it, Cullen. "Yeah, you have lunch with Angela. It's almost five now," he replied slowly, as if I were too stupid to be able to tell time. "I didn't realize I had a curfew," I snapped back immediately. "Don't put words in my mouth, Bella," he gritted through his teeth. "But I've been trying to get a hold of you for over three hours. I've been here, calling every person I can think of, just to find where you are. You cannot even begin to imagine the scenarios that have played out in my mind." As irritated as I was with his tone earlier, I still felt bad that he had been so worried. I'd never meant to leave my phone off for so long, but I still wasn't completely used to having someone in my life to answer to. Just as I opened my mouth to apologize, he spoke again. "It's not just about you anymore." I recoiled away from him instantly as I felt my face heat in anger. His eyes were wary as he watched me almost tremble with the force of the swirling emotions within me. At first, I thought he'd take it back, but then he stood just a little bit straighter and clenched his jaw, and I was all. fucking. in. My eyes wide open and blazing, I stepped toward him. "You know what, Edward? I'm sorry I made you worry. I'm sorry I forgot to check my phone during my inexcusable four-hour absence. I'm sure that's never 16. Chapter 16 186
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happened with you, has it? There's never been a day when I've tried to get a hold of you, but couldn't?" I challenged. He leaned back on his foot slightly, swallowing as he no doubt remembered the many days I had tried to call him while at the hospital. After a second, though, he seemed to recover himself and jutted his chin out stubbornly. "That's different, Bella. I was at work." I snorted. I scoffed. And then I blew a fucking gasket. "You primeval bastard!" I shouted. "Since when do you not consider what I do to be work? Is that really what you think? Cute, little Bella writing her cute, little stories while you're off doing the real work? Really, Edward? I never knew you were such a chauvinist." He opened his mouth to speak, but I shook my head and waved him off, brushing past him. "Where are you going?" "Anywhere you're not right now," I snapped, only to have his hand reach out and touch mine. He didn't grab it, he didn't pull me to him, but that one touch still made me stop. Whipping around, I ignored the pained look on his face. If I didn't, I would cry and I was not going to cry right now. Not when I wasn't even sure what we were fighting about. But as hard as I tried, my mind still registered the pain he felt, in turn causing me more. Speaking through the lump in my throat, I shook my head at him again. "How could you say that to me? What have I ever done to make you think I'm so self-centered that I think it's all about me? I was with my agent, Edward. Discussing my book and the movie. That's my work. I'm not going to apologize for that."
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"Save it. I've had my fill of being talked down to today," I sniffled, slapping away a traitorous tear before turning away to go into the kitchen. Screw the no alcohol rule. "Bella. Please?" his voice called out softly behind me, still in the foyer. "Please what?" I sighed quietly in the kitchen, but apparently loud enough for him to hear. He walked in and hovered in the doorway while I stood at the open fridge, seriously debating whether I even wanted to drink. It would be a petulant move and just egg him on, and I really wasn't supposed to. Grabbing a bottle of water instead, I shut the fridge door and turned around to the island, leaning down on my forearms. Keeping my eyes trained on the granite, I waited. "First of all," he began softly. "I'm sorry. I...Bella, you're probably the least selfish person I've ever known. It was a low blow to try and say anything to the contrary." Exhaling loudly, he walked slowly in until he was standing opposite me across the island and mimicked my pose, though I couldn't tell if he was staring at me because I refused to look up at him yet. As soon as he lost that condescending tone, I was ready for this fight to be over, but he had really hurt my feelings. "Second of all...One of the things that first drew me to you were your novels. Your talent, your creativity, your voice...I...I let my frustration speak for me. I have to claim temporary insanity on what I said earlier." My lips twitched and I glanced up at him briefly, but his brows were furrowed, his eyes trained on his hands. "I am sorry for forgetting about my phone. If you had been out for so long and I needed to get a hold of you, I'd probably be pissed, too," I said softly. 16. Chapter 16 188
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"No," he shook his head, one of his hands running through his hair. "I wasn't pissed, Bella, you've got every right in the world to do what you want, when you want. I was scared. I...There was a trauma today, well, three. A drunk driver hit this mother and daughter. It was bad, really bad. And I was working on the driver while they were trying to save the other two and I saw... "All I could see through the window was their hair. But the mother, she had dark brown hair, and the little girl...it was red. My red," he whispered, swallowing thickly. Clearing his throat, he shook his head and started rambling. "And nobody would fucking answer me! All I wanted was to go in and see for myself that it wasn't...and I was stuck working on that guy and he's going to be fine, but they lost the mother and they don't even know who they are because their car burned, and how fucking hard is it to know how old a child is? She wouldn't even look at the picture; she could have been wro-" I had no idea what he was saying, but I couldn't listen to him get more and more distressed. Rushing around the island, I wedged myself in between his body and the counter, throwing my arms around his neck. His arms locked around me immediately, crushing me to him as he buried his face in my neck. The hot tears falling against my skin caused my own to leak out of my eyes as I tried to apologize. "I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry, honey. I'm so -" I was cut off by a fierce kiss, though his hands were gentle as he held my face. My hands fell down to his chest, one of my palms pressed against his chest where I could feel his heart pounding furiously. He began moving his lips down my jaw, onto my neck, up to my ear. "No more, love," he whispered as his hands fell to my waist, his thumbs rubbing circles into my skin, slowly inching towards my center. "I just need to feel you." 16. Chapter 16 189
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Wordlessly, I lifted my arms up for him to bring my shirt over my head and toss it away. He let only his fingertips ghost over my body, up my stomach, gently over the peaks of my breasts, across my collarbones. I shivered, my back arching and pressing me into his chest. Needing to feel his skin against mine, I lifted up his scrub top and let it fall to the floor. I pressed a long, open-mouth kiss to his heart before looking up at him. His eyes were dark and stayed fixed on mine as he reached down and popped the button on my jeans. His palms flat against my sides, he pushed them down my hips, my panties disappearing with them as I kicked them off. Two strong hands wrapped around my waist, lifting me easily and setting me onto the cold granite. I didn't have time to react to the chill before he positioned me the way he wanted, my ass right at the edge of the counter where he could grind against me. He groaned as my legs wrapped around him, kissing me deeply, his tongue mimicking what I wanted him to be doing a bit lower. "Fuck," he murmured, his voice tight with lust and barely-there restraint. "What I want to do to you..." "Do it," I said softly, my forehead pressed to his as he continued to grind his hardness against me through the flimsy fabric of his scrub pants. "I want you to. Whatever you want to do to me, I'm yours." His eyes flew open, dark with lust as his breath picked up. "You really shouldn't have said that." The next second he pushed his pants down and plunged inside me, the shock of it making me cry out and throw my arms around him for support. He began a deep, pounding rhythm, one arm braced straight on the counter and his other hand gripping my shoulder tightly, pushing me down onto him with each stroke. Biting and sucking on my collarbone and neck, he whispered into my skin.
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"Because I want to fuck you until you can't walk. I want to make you scream so loud you lose your voice. I want you to feel how much I love you and how much you mean to me while I make you come harder than you ever have before." Cue orgasm number one. I was a panting, whimpering mess and he was just getting started. He was relentless as he continued thrusting in and out of me, his lips and tongue all over my neck and chest. All I could do was chant my love for him, over and over, until he shifted and began hitting that rough spot inside of me. "Oh God, oh fuck, oh God, oh fuck," I cried out, falling back onto the counter as I came again. His hand that had been around my shoulder slid down my chest, his thumb running over the peak of my breast as he continued downward until he reached my center. "One more time, baby," he groaned out between thrusts, his fingers rubbing and flicking me close to oblivion again. "I need to feel you come on my cock one more time." "Ed...ward," I panted out, my eyes rolling closed as he continued his merciless assault. "OhmyGod." "Do you know how fucking beautiful you are like this? No one gets to see it but me. Because you're mine." How can he still talk? "Ye-es, Edward. Yours!" I cried out as I felt my muscles begin to tighten. "Open your eyes, love. Watch what you do to me. You fucking own me, Bella," he growled and my eyes flew open to lock with his. He had a light sheen of sweat across his skin, the muscles in his arms and chest moving as he drew himself forward over and over, but his face... He was looking at me like I was the only thing in the world. 16. Chapter 16 191
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"Edward!" I screamed, my orgasm seizing me and sending me into a million little splintering pieces as he roared my name and exploded inside of me. Still inside of me, he leaned down and rested his head on my chest. I lifted my hands up shakily and weakly ran them through his damp hair. "I love you," he murmured, humming in contentment as I scratched his scalp. "I love you, too," I whispered hoarsely. Turning his face up, he grinned wickedly. "Can't talk?" Clearing my throat, I narrowed my eyes at him and answered in a rasp. "So fucking cocky." "Cocky?" he asked with a smirk as he shifted his hips slightly, going soft inside me but still there. "Or honest?" "Shut up." "Wanna go for a walk?" "Wanna start another fight?" I retorted, quirking an eyebrow at him and trying not to smile. He shook his head, tickling me with the stubble on his chin. "No," he said softly. "As great as making up is, I don't like fighting with you. I'm sorry." I snorted, my eyes slipping closed. "Meh. I'm used to your cocky ways by now."
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He chuckled, but shook his head in my chest again. "No. I meant about before." Lifting my head up, I gazed down at him in concern. "No, Edward. Don't. Look...I would be worried about you, too, even without the added scare of what you thought you saw earlier. I'm sorry about my phone. And I'm sorry that I lost my temper and yelled at you. We should be able to talk like adults, not have me start screaming all over the place." "I deserved it. I knew exactly how I was pushing your buttons, but I was too upset to stop. And I'm not apologizing for being worried," he replied gently, lifting himself up and hovering over me with his arms astride my body. "I will always worry about you, Bella, and it's not because you can't take care of yourself or because I see you as a responsibility or obligation. It's because you and Lily are my whole heart and I cannot handle the idea of ever being without either one of you. "I'm apologizing for the way I spoke to you and for what I said." "You already did," I smiled. "So can we both consider ourselves forgiven?" "Depends," he smirked, a mischievous glint in his eye. "If I say no will it make you mad?" Clenching my muscles around him, I smiled as I saw his eyes almost drift shut. "Definitely." "Oh yeah?" he grinned, standing back up and pulling my sticky body from the counter up to his chest. "How mad?" Tightening my legs around his waist, I tilted my head up and nipped at his jaw. "So mad." Groaning, he rocked a bit inside of me as he began to harden.
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"I'll always be mad for you, Bella."
16. Chapter 16
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This Is Not My Life Outtakes

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isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

04/02/11 12:54:31 do something now.

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

04/02/11 12:54:31 forth.

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

04/02/11 12:54:31 Still got it, old man.

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

04/02/11 12:54:31 door for a minute.

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

04/02/11 12:54:31 Baby. I like the sound of that. .

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes

04/02/11 12:54:31 before he did. Inside of her.

isakassees - This Is Not My Life Outtakes