No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Updated)
Written by Robert Glover
Narrated by Robert Glover
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
“I have read every self-help book out there, but this was the first that put everything together in a way that made perfect sense to me.”
“Every page of my copy of No More Mr. Nice Guy is highlighted in yellow. How did you know me so well?
A Nice Guy, according to Dr. Robert Glover, a pioneering expert on the Nice Guy Syndrome, is a man who believes he is not okay just as he is. He is convinced that he must become what he thinks others want him to be liked, loved, and get his needs met. He also believes that he must hide anything about himself that might trigger a negative response in others.
The Nice Guy Syndrome typically begins in infancy and childhood when a young boy inaccurately internalizes emotional messages about himself and the world. It is fueled by toxic shame and anxiety. Rapid social change in the late 20th century and early 21st century has contributed to a worldwide explosion of men struggling to find happiness, love, and purpose.
The paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is driven by three faulty covert contracts. Nice Guys believe:
• If I am good, then I will be liked and loved.
• If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.
• If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.
The inauthentic and chameleon-like approach to life causes Nice Guys to often feel frustrated, confused, and resentful. Subsequently, these men are often anything but nice. Common Nice Guy patterns include giving to get, difficulty setting boundaries, dishonesty, caretaking, fixing, codependency, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, passive-aggressiveness, unsatisfying relationships, issues with sexuality, and compulsive masturbation and pornography use.
Since the publication of No More Mr. Nice Guy in 2003, hundreds of thousands of men worldwide have learned how to release toxic shame, soothe their anxiety, face their fears, connect with men, embrace their passion and purpose, and experience success in work and career. These men have also learned to set boundaries, handle conflict, make their needs a priority, develop satisfying relationships, and experience great sex.
This process of recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome allows men to move through:
• Depression
• Social anxiety and shyness
• Codependency
• Low self-esteem
• Loneliness and hopelessness
• Feelings of failure
• Lack of confidence and purpose
• Compulsive behaviors and addictions
• Feeling stuck in life
Contrary to what the title might seem to imply, No More Mr. Nice Guy does not teach men how to be not nice. Dr. Glover shows men how to become what he calls Integrated Males. Becoming integrated does not mean becoming different or better. It means being able to accept all aspects of oneself. An integrated male can embrace everything that makes him unique—his power, his assertiveness, his humor, his courage, and his mission, as well as his fears, his imperfections, his mistakes, his rough edges, and his dark side.
If you are ready to get what you want in love, sex, and life, No More Mr. Nice Guy will show you how.
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Reviews for No More Mr. Nice Guy
642 ratings52 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I have the book on audible with the author.. this version is different the narrator described here!
2 people found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Best book ever for a nice guy. I can't believe it.
2 people found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Such a good book. It showed me the way to start saying es to myself first rather then saying yes to everyone else.
Highly recommend1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Life changing book highly recommended to anybody that is indecisive & trying to understand themselves.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book has all it takes to reclaim masculinity in this 21 century.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Perfect Book. Realized many aspects of being "nice" toward people
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I feel so lucky and honored to have listened to this book at age 21. I think this book just changed my life forever.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Excellent Read! looking forward to doing the exercises. I was looking to understand why things were not working for me in life. My Mr nice guy nature was preventing me from succeeding.. My view of the world came from my experiences as a child. It distorted my true nature as a man. I finally have a plan on how to repair it. Thank you so much for this book!
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book is a must read for most men, it really breaks down why most of us are “nice guys” and how to move past it
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Great recomendation for everyone; men and women, singles and couples, kids and everyone interested in fulfilled life
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Very informative and useful structure to the book with many real life examples that make it more relatable.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very tricky book, if you aren't a jerk probably you are the nice Guy, or a least have one of the multiple caracteristics explained in the book, and you might think this is a good thing. But you might think of it differently when you read this book.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Fantastic. A must read for any man looking to understand his confidence issues and resolve them. Sought out this book as an opportunity to correct my issues I was experiencing in my marriage and found the ideas to be quite useful.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Powerful and Convicting. My eyes were opened to things that, until now, were beyond my comprehension.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I’m ready to see where this advice takes me, I feel stronger after listening to this. Every man needs this, no matter your orientation this is important to be a stronger individual
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Fantastic insight for a recovering nice guy! 2nd time reading this…still carrying some of the same habits! Thanks for the reminder that life doesn’t have to be this way! This hit home for me…even though I’ve heard it a thousand times. If you keep doing what you’ve always done you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got (Def: of insanity). Going to read a 3rd time and start implementing the changes. Grateful for this book ??
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Fundamentally the greatest book of insight I have ever read.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I loved it. The concept of 'healthy masturbation' is hard for modern day men to absorb but I truly believe that if done so, it will change one man's life! Thank you for this.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Still a classic guide, 10/10 would recommend for all men.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Highly recommend ready for every man in this world! I am speechless how much this book helped me and will help in the future.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I will integrate this for the sake of my life!
Thank You
Now to listen again. :-)mfw - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Profound. Simple ideas that should be common knowledge, honestly! One of my new favorites.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book helped me open up to my parents regarding my porn addiction. They were really supportive and thank you helping me make a decision to live honestly without guilt.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book just changed my life.
It WILL change yours. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Just what I needed! I’m going to wait a little while and then read it again.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Unbelievable...Truly life changing and will definitely be apart of my Life's Work Forever!!!!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Thankyou soo much for this knowledge I will try my best to apply this...The book is really good..I recommend everyone to read this once in a lifetime.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very good book for most of men ,
Good learning techniques but careful that you may require more guidance and support to overcome the challenges. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5So many great nuggets. I will revisit the book again.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A must read for Mr. Nice Guys who suffer some where out there ..