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    The Wrong End of the Table: A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit in
    The Wrong End of the Table: A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit in
    The Wrong End of the Table: A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit in
    Audiobook7 hours

    The Wrong End of the Table: A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit in

    Written by Ayser Salman and Reza Aslan

    Narrated by Ayser Salman

    4/5

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    About this audiobook

    An Immigrant Love-Hate Story of What it Means to Be American

    You know that feeling of being at the wrong end of the table? Like you’re at a party but all the good stuff is happening out of earshot (#FOMO)? That’s life—especially for an immigrant.

    What happens when a shy, awkward Arab girl with a weird name and an unfortunate propensity toward facial hair is uprooted from her comfortable (albeit fascist-regimed) homeland of Iraq and thrust into the cold, alien town of Columbus, Ohio—with its Egg McMuffins, Barbie dolls, and kids playing doctor everywhere you turned?

    This is Ayser Salman’s story. First comes Emigration, then Naturalization, and finally Assimilation—trying to fit in among her blonde-haired, blue-eyed counterparts, and always feeling left out. On her journey to Americanhood, Ayser witnesses a blowjob at pre-kindergarten daycare, breaks one of her parents’ rules (“Thou shalt not participate as an actor in the school musical where a male cast member rests his head in thy lap”), and other things good Muslim Arab girls are not supposed to do. And, after the 9/11 attacks, she experiences the isolation of being a Muslim in her own country. It takes hours of therapy, fifty-five rounds of electrolysis, and some ill-advised romantic dalliances for Ayser to grow into a modern Arab American woman who embraces her cultural differences.

    Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBrilliance Audio
    Release dateMar 5, 2019
    ISBN9781721385911
    Author

    Ayser Salman

    Ayser Salman was born in Iraq before it became a curiosity, and moved to America as a toddler. She is a writer and producer and editor for companies like Universal Pictures, Miramax Films, Disney, The Weinstein Company, and FX. Ayser lives in Los Angeles, California.

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    Reviews for The Wrong End of the Table

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    • 4/5
      Well written, funny antidotes. Narrated very well and easily understood.
    • 4/5
      The author is candid about her life experiences. Her story has opened my eyes to some things such as when she stayed at the college dorms. Very well written with humor and honesty.
    • 5/5
      The story of an Iraqi immigrant's experiences living in America (and Saudi Arabia). The author tells of her experiences with a great deal of humor. At times funny, at times sad, the book really held my interest. I feel like I really learned a great deal from reading this, as to how an immigrant from a (face-it) unpopular country finds herself in the USA. From facing the outright hostility to the outright ignorance, Salman never complains but finds humor in the situations. Last year, we hosted a Muslim girl from the Netherlands as an exchange student in our home, Her best friend here was another Muslim girl, this one from Pakistan. I tried so hard to give her the best experiences, ones she will remember always. Jaida and her friend would come home and tell me about some of the prejudices and ignorance towards Muslim's that they faced. If I had read this book prior to her arrival, I really feel that I could have been better prepared to handle it. Everyone should take some time and expose themselves to books like Salman's. If we did, we would be so much more enlightened and thoughtful. Life is way different then the demonizing towards Muslims that is occurring in the USA today!
    • 4/5
      Linda’s Book Obsession Reviews “The Wrong End of the Table A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim American Woman Just Trying to Fit In” by Ayser Salman, Skyhorse Publishing, March 5, 2019Ayser Salman, Author of “The Wrong End of the Table, A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab Woman Just Trying to Fit In” has written an entertaining and witty Memoir. Ayser Salman writes about her traditional and immigrant parents who left an oppressed life for freedom in America. As a little girl, Ayser had a difficult time adjusting to the environment and the other children in Columbus, Ohio. She always felt like an outcast. Her parents were very strict, and found it difficult to understand the modern ways of American life.Ayser Salman writes honestly and shares how her parent’s cultural and traditional values differed in many ways from the expectations that Ayser felt in America. Ayser also writes how the politics in America, made her carefully rethink choices that she had. She candidly writes her dating experiences, and friendships. I found Asyer Salman’s experiences intriguing. I would recommend this for readers who enjoy memoirs. I received an ARC from NetGalley for my honest review.
    • 4/5
      I enjoyed reading of Ayser’s struggles to become an Arab Muslim in America. She approaches the subject with humor and candor.When Ayser was only three years old her family moved from Baghdad, Iraq to Columbus, Ohio. So Ayser went along with them since as she said “legal emancipation from your parents isn’t an option in Iraq until the age of seventy-four, and even then only if you’re married.” At the age of three culture shock is not such a major event. Two years later they moved to Lexington, Kentucky where Ayser was frequently called “Ayser Eraser”. (Hey, a kid I knew was named “Horace Lanier” – Need I tell you what he was called?) Her family continued to move around for several years, with each locale providing further adaptation challenges.Ayser writes of what it means to be an Arab and what it means to be an American. The transition from Iraqi Arab to American-Iraqi Arab often resulted in the feeling of being at the wrong end of the table. “You know that feeling of being at the wrong end of the table? Like you’re at a party but all the good stuff is happening out of earshot?” Always trying to fit in yet always feeling left out.And if life wasn’t hard enough, along came 9/11. She now feels isolated in her own country, wondering why people can’t recognize the difference between a terrorist and a practicing believer of Islam.The chapter titles should be enough to get you to take a look – “Land of the Free, Home of the McMuffin”, “Sibling Rivalry, or: How to Stop Your Sister from Getting the Western Name”, “Iraqis Take Forever to Say Goodbye”, and “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom”.As an adult she asks herself what she would tell her younger self. I loved her comment that “I would also tell her not to discount her time spent at the wrong end of the table, because sometimes you have to spend time at the wrong end in order to appreciate being at the right end.’Do be sure to read her footnotes as they provide much of the candor – and are quite funny.